Are you "sowing in tears?" This this episode is for you!

Lab American family radio, this is hope for the caregiver. I am nation's number one show for the family caregiver for those of you were putting yourself between vulnerable of one. And even worse issues and challenges you hold up are you doing. Maybe it's autism. Maybe it's Alzheimer's. Maybe it's addiction. Whatever's going on with you and your love one you as a caregiver are at risk individual and this shows specifically designed for you to help you stay strong and healthy as you care for those who are not, and if you want to be a part of the show number is 888-589-8840 888-589-8840 and we'd love to have you be a part of the show what why do chauffeur characters we think about every visit. Isn't it more important to take care of the person who is in the hospital struggling. He was suffering and all those kinds of things. Well, what happens to them. If you go down as a caregiver. Think take a moment on that one. What happens to them.

What does health look like to you as a caregiver.

Do you know what that looks like.

Do you know how to receive that help these are all things that that we struggle. Caregiver seven caregiver now for more than 33 years and been dealing with harsh realities right so what happens to my wife, if I'm not in a good place and I many times been not a good place financially, emotionally, spiritually, physically, professionally, all of those things.

That's why we do the show and we'd love to have you be a part of it. 888-589-8840 will start off with the Scripture saw this this morning I thought it may be encouraging for those of you right now were coming out of Thanksgiving. It's been a little bit of a frantic time without with holidays. It always is never good and ready go into the Christmas season and it gets even sometimes more crazy for us as caregivers because were trying to make a special for everyone else but we get lost in the shuffle. There a lot of the nostalgic feelings that come over us and and the stage is not everything used to be you write that down, but we we try to somehow re-create because what we are under such pressure because this obit I will look at this. This is the last one or no mama wants this or whatever. There's all kinds of pressures we put on ourselves that we don't need to. But we do and as we going to this. There's a lot of privateers that we as caregivers will experience and endure and struggle with and how many of you all had a late night conversation with the ceiling fan.

For example, amino we we get that way as caregivers and in those lonely places and we wonder if anybody sees DD wanted that, you wonder if anybody sees what you're dealing with what you're going to the sadness that you're feeling well. More more than anyone else.

God sees condos sold read the Scriptures. Psalm 126 five through six. Those who so SOW so nutso that I have friends about it.

So would do all the success EW but those who so SOW in tears shall reap with shouts of joy. He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing Joe come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him. What does it mean to you as a caregiver this morning.

Let's unpack that little bit what was that mean do you go out with seeds for sowing weeping tears. I bet you do because that's what you're doing as you care for somebody who is struggling or is dealing with whatever you're working through tears as you minister someone else.

You really are and those tears are not for not those tears are not wasted.

He goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing your sewing ministry and love and care into someone who not only Reciprocate at times but sometimes will make it even harder or even be of abusive to you, you're doing and Scripture says that when you go out, weeping, bearing the seed for sowing you come home with shouts of joy bringing the harvest your sheaves with you noticing bringing in the sheaves you will remember that most people to it from watching Andy Griffith show.

But it's the principle is this is that you think that this is just one step away from purgatory that your and sometimes as a caregiver, your back-and-forth hospitals or back-and-forth rehabs and back-and-forth the doctors you back and forth to that back bedroom. When you're changing adult diapers or your dealing with the child that is acting out with, or go through multiple seizures or you got an addict it's in your life or alcoholic that somebody is is just that they're just off the charts causing stuff and you are weeping to just uncontrollably at times and using nobody's noticeable. Scripture says no no no no no you are pouring into this you are sowing into someone's life.

Don't don't beat yourself up for how miserable you think you may be doing it.

You keep showing up to doing you keep going out to the field to do it.

Scripture just here's here's the principle here's the life principle from Scripture to so many things in Scripture talk about life as related to agriculture because that's when the stuff was written it with her was it was an agricultural society and but but there's God's gardening tips is as a professor monies to call them are this way when your sewing in tears, but you're still sowing you're still doing it. Watch what God can do it hang on to that promise that no promise you, it does not always feel that way effect it rarely feels that way, which can't go by that you can anchor yourself in Scripture so that you know that this is not just haphazard.

This is what angers me. I can't tell you how many times I've just wearily hung my head and and cried. Hot tears and wondered if anybody even noticed. You know, I know that the I can't count how many people have asked about my wife over the years and Willie should she's asked extraordinary individual. I got a special treat for you will play one of her a song from a new record in the next segment so you will miss that. I this is this braided nobody's ever heard this on the air but the best about her for all these years and it's almost like I didn't even exist because I didn't look like I will struggling there was this assumption that I was handling this. Okay. And I wasn't and I don't that's why do the show. I don't think as caregivers we need a lot of instruction in you.

If you notice I don't get a lot of advice on the show would like to tell you you're in the middle of you know what's going on in your situation I don't think we need a lot of instruction but I do think we need a lot of reminders and we need to be reminded of not only the goodness of God. But his principles as well that we can trust those things when it gets so bleak and when you're smiling on the outside and chest and anguish on the inside about you is that where your house, your heart space what's going on with your why do the show healthy caregivers but better caregivers were nothing to do this in a vacuum when I can do this by ourselves. We got to pull together and do this with someone else helping us and pointing us to safety, pointing us to Christ, pointing us to these promises. 888-589-8840 888-589-8840.

This is hope for the caregiver IB Roseburg will be right back. That conviction that we as caregivers as people who volunteered to care for chronically impaired. Love one we as caregivers can live a calm healthier and heresy and even more joyful life. We can do this Scripture tells us we can we anchor everything in our lives on Scripture here on the show this with the show. That's what separates the show were not here to give you platitudes were not here to tell you notice take care of yourself and and get a good nights rest and eat something healthy here for all that nonsense. This is drivel and I'm not here to give you a lot of practical things of stuff I've been to tell you how to navigate the health and welfare system of you know, Oregon.

I don't know I don't live in Oregon. I don't know these things. I know some things and know how to deal with doctors anointed with insurance government dealt with this all since Reagan was president. But that's not really the purpose of this because that's not going to address the matters of the heart. When I set out to do the show I set out specifically to go after the matters of the heart and speak to that with the authority of Scripture with the conviction of knowing that God is moving in this thing in ways we cannot even understand or see what we can trust because I knew that if I had a caregiver that was in a good heart. Space then they were better equipped and they had a fighting chance deal with all the craziness that comes at us.

This is my life. This is my journey in on the crash test dummies caregivers. If you could fail at it. I failed Eddie, but you'll have to you don't have to make all the mistakes and estimate we can learn from them together and then reinforce the it's not like I get this one done in the number out that up. I got this I'm good now I'm an expert caregiver know Gracie will tell you every day that there's ample room for improvement and I don't need Gracie to tell her that I know in my own heart.

There's and that's what have to be reminded of these things speak to Gracie about a treat for you and I want to play song would interview this is brand-new for those of you who are just watching tune into the show, or watch on Facebook live. Whatever it hopefully caregiver of my wife Gracie is a new kitten singer.

This is the Scripture that were all familiar with and it was this is a song written by Martha menisci and Gracie recorded this for new record is called resilience is the name of record Gracie's at 80 surgeries. Both legs amputated hundred doctors of traders and 12 hospitals over 36 years. $11 million. She lives with relentless pain, but she is resilient and so Mark if you go ahead play this this is I know the plan and will see a copy of that CD go out to hopefully caregiver.com front page and you can see how to do all that. It's an extraordinary recording that she's done of songs.

It's amazing and loveless that voice of her divorce now for a lifetime. And but that this this is a message for you as a caregiver to give you hope for tomorrow Joy for your sorrow when you can't see what tomorrow holds, and yesterday is through. He knows the plans he has for you and you rest and that Kenya Kenya can you hang on to that while you're dealing with what you're dealing with. While your child with special needs is struggling while you get that son of that daughter who just continues to spiral with addiction while you watch your parents parent or parents deteriorate.

Their bodies deteriorate in their minds deteriorate. Can you hang on to that that you have a Savior that is acquainted with all of this understands it, and bore the penalty for every bit of all the things that are wrong with this world and is working them out in a way that you cannot imagine it and it's hard to wrap your mind around that.

But go back to the Scripture we had at the beginning of the show. Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy.

He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for some point, but let me let me put that in context for you as a caregiver. When you show up every single day to care for someone who is vulnerable who was at risk, who was struggling who has some type of affliction you're going out there bearing the seed for sowing your ministry into their life. You are extending ministry and grace and help and care and love that is your seed that your sewing and your often doing it while you're weeping that you know that you doing it while you're weeping and if you say well I don't wait but I do this given time you will sometimes you gnash your teeth, but Scripture says very clearly you could come home.

Shouts of joy bringing your sheaves with you bringing the harvest with you. We can even imagine what that harvest looks like we don't know how in God's economy.

This is going to be restored to us but he says it will, we can trust and we know we can trust.

How do we know because he stretched out his arms and gave his life for us on the cross. The this is where the cross stands and loose beyond anything we can imagine this is where we have the opportunity to branch our will into something that is greater than we can possibly imagine. I think we got so familiar with things we've heard the word so many times that it it it it almost becomes passé to us, but it's not that of color: the show in time to get all have accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior can repeat it over to the stop he must have you considered except that was a conversation change. Have you considered a family crisis except this is hopefully caregiver Rosenberger 888-589-8840 888-589-8040. I am indeed all limits are and have it ready are our call screener have a little bit of problem with the software there so just go straight to it and WW name were you calling from and how you doing well. I'm Donnie from New Mexico. When I called to apologize to you because I was on fire and my criticism of you the first time I called you because all I said that all you do is tell people to go to church or go to a support group and that was really harsh and unfair that II hope you accept my apology.

I do. It was harsh and unfair, but I figured you having a bad morning and I do accept Donnie. That's very kind of you to say that how you feeling today that's not a fair question.

Will is a fair question you would miss last everything. Everything is always the same with me, so it's hardly anything ever vary, you know, Lily, stop, stop either know it's not the same because today you're calling back to recognize that you you crossed the line that you would be really went too far and so obviously something is different from you today that it was before.

So yeah you there something different going on what you think that is all I was just I got to hear the rebroadcast of the show and I got to hear myself and Anna and I and I could hear how negative I sounded and so I thought well geez I owe that man apology. That's not the only thing well you know what, that's the wonderful thing about our journeys late. If we ever get a chance to look in the mirror if we ever get a chance to hear ourselves. We could hear those things in the next best.

That's the Holy Spirit just really pinching us and hate you see what that that there's an old saying in Nashville that the tape don't lie the tape don't lie when you go back in and love people to go.

They were playing really good on a set when they are doing, you know, particular vendor, something that I have to go back and listen recording like oh that's bad that's really bad and the tape don't lie and that's but that's okay that's a good reminder but Donnie, I gotta take a budget cost because market speak to the callers when they call me and so they just go straight to the board, but I want you to know how much I appreciate your call today and thank you for that.

Okay, alright, let's see.

Good morning this is Peter market. Serena calls.

They suggest W name and where you from and how you feel and the complete or filmic ratio in the hope spring Texas, not in front of work.

Give me a call on the guided experiment.

It and her son Danny works to sometimes have jobs he had the pleasure to spend the night with her last night she'd been a mouthful since before Thanksgiving and she's been having a really hard time of it. She has been declared cancer free for the fourth time over it. It has taken her taken so much out of she's two years younger me. She looks like she's 100 and some still fill. The first question is always how are you feeling I don't need the whole treatment of cancer for this lady.

I'm sure all that's important and I want to hear about that another time. But this shows hope for the caregiver are you feeling I'm feeling guilty this morning. What he felt guilty about.

I have my own issues. My health issues and what I mean. People are praying for me and ran for for me what I do for other people the Lord about that.

So what are you feeling guilty about what had I meet corporate how do I become always you really went back up to one of the things that I'd like to do on the shows I really try to get people talking. God talk okay because we could speak fluent Christian visa time and we get all wrapped up in God talk now you're not feeling guilty about not being holy and being perfect like that.

There's something driving that will determine what you say mama send it.

Getting things that I just don't think Babel got that part of it is the meds that I'm on the translated strength will what happens is is there's you got mad to get pain you affliction all the stuff but they're sitting in there somewhere.

And what happens. This is where we are broken. Sinful people and the whole point of this thing is you're not to be perfect and you know could be holy on your own.

You can't squint your heart you will touched second and make yourself feel better. Nicer lesson for whatever. It's one of those things where you wake when you retrain your brain be not conformed to this world will be transformed by the renewing of your Bible.

What is that he would look like.

And again I don't really like to talk God talk you because that's what happens. Sometimes we get a read as Christians we want to impress ourselves with with how well we can opine on scriptural things, but the bottom line is were wretched broken centers, but we have a Savior that is not how we were the tale of how great the safe and so when you think of the things of God and were all like this fill you not dealing with anything that anybody else in dealing with were all like this when we we we turn our eyes. You know that old him turn your eyes upon Jesus look full in his wonderful face and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of this is what happens with us and we can't get we get so wrapped up in the things of this earth and were so been on this weather it's the lust of our hearts. Whether it's the use of tone would take with other people weathers the demanding this weather's the ugliness the miserable.

There's all these kinds of things that come out in us and there's nothing like dealing with suffering for a lengthy period of time whether it's you or someone else to expose the don't that's in your soul and every time you see is like the color we just had with Donnie. He went back and looked at the listen to the rebroadcast and heard how miserable he sounded held Megan's we want to call and apologize one will want the thing is we all get a chance to listen to the rebroadcast if it will pay attention. That's what the Holy Spirit does replace the take back and say if you don't hate to see this and we gotta have people in our lives who are willing to push the button to say hey I'm gonna play the tape back.

You know this is this is this is what marriage it can be like for for you know what I think is designed to because Gracie and I both can play the tape back for each other. Hey, you know, when you said this. This was very very hurtful.

This was this was very cutting to me and we play the tape back for each other and it is believers. That's what we do but wait. When we sit there we get all my father calls it, and he's not listening this morning because he's over making sandwiches and at his church try to think about briefly this morning to try to think about father making sandwiches this morning because I don't member him a canola.

I guess everybody likes baloney and white breaded peanut butter jelly contest, but only say what you know that a break but but he's always equals navelgazing and would just sit there looking at her bellybutton's and and and we are so wrapped up in the minutia that we can't see the big picture in the big picture is filament let you know little secret. Your wretched sinner but you have a great save in a bit.

You have you have a great Savior. Yes, and as long as you keep poking on your wretchedness, which I understand that I get that same way, try every time you do that focus on how great a Savior you have. It's not that your sin doesn't matter if you get things your life you need to deal with. You need to deal with okay if we confess our sins to one another, he is faithful and just to forgive and cleanse us of all all our unrighteousness, but but the point is as though sometimes we want to self flagellate. I just like to use a word for the big board, but their self flagellate just beat the crap out of ourselves overstuffed but but when we stop at that part and we need to understand all that was all that was inflicted on the body of Christ.

We rest in that and understand that he who began a good work and you feel is faithful to complete it to the day of Christ Jesus.

And that's really retrain your mind and it's it it's not easy but you can't do it in a vacuum and you can't simply do it while you indicate indicate speak that whole Christian knees and God talk you got you got just get real, earthy and down with you just gotta say, look, you know what I am what I am.

Don't blame it on your drug still blame it on this to blame. Just blame it on you with and understand where that blame when and when you're in your courtroom and they ask you how you plead well how do you plead I plead guilty and go straight exclamation and go straight to execution. You gotta remember that part go straight to execution because Christ was executed on your behalf. Your guilty that he was executed and every time you do that it's re-training your brain to understand. Oh wait a minute, look at this great Savior that doesn't give a license to go out and do it anymore. It just anchors you back in reality you trekking with me on a license. 320 will go back and look at another part of Galatians was, as I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live the life I live in this body I live by faith in the son of God. So every time you you are plagued with this, you say you know I feel guilty about. I can't be holy like you that you know that's pleased that when I was about because on Fridays we used to have testimony Chapel least start: brag about a chapel or testimony chapel because somebody people got up and they wanted just to say, oh, y'all pray for me. I'm have a real problem with pride that that's just goofy man you want to get away from that and just start saying you know what, let me tell you what that cross means let me talk about Christ not about me that's that's where we go is caregiver and that's where we go is believed that's where we go as individuals who are putting our trust his his perfection in his right, not our own and we yield to the life we live in the body we live by faith in the son of God is euros. This is hopefully caregiver the right to dispute Rosenberger never helped somebody walk for the first time I've had that privilege many times through our organization. Standing with hope when my wife Gracie gave up both of her legs follow this horrible Rick that she had as a teenager and she try to save them for years and if it just wouldn't work out. And finally she relinquished him and thought wow this is that I'm not happy legs anymore. What can God do with that and then she had this vision for using prosthetic limbs as a means of sharing the gospel to put legs on her fellow amputees and that's what we've been doing now since 2005 was standing with hope. We work in the West African country of Ghana and you can be a part of that through supplies through supporting team members through supporting the work that were doing over there, you can designate a limb. There's all kinds of ways that you can be a part of giving the gift that keeps on walking and standing with hope.com would you take a moment ago understanding with hope.com and see how you can give they go walking and leaping and praising God. You can be a part of that@standingwithhope.com about caregivers hosted by curator Brian Peter Rosenberger. This is the nation's number one show for family caregiver ledger for 888-589-8840 888-589-8840 if you want to be a part of the show would have limited call screener problem. So what I do is I just go straight into the cold cold because her call screener came interest in it.

I'm sorry for that. If you have a troubadour but will this will just make do, but it's I love that some other way with Russ S1 about favorite songs of the imperials as I've forgiven the rust testing that and you could hear Gracie and rustling in their duet ungracious to record resilient go to hopefully caregiver.com.

Hi good morning. I just pick up the phone.

I have no idea who this is W name, where you from and how you feel and I mark Mark and I'm pretty good emotionally and travel like going on.

You can, Caroline live life. About a year ago that the hormone blocking now picture out of it and do much all baby and you and John to understand her and working a second job trying manage it how you I would how you holding up well for perfume on their early on I was really frustrated. I didn't understand that it is really about.

And the last month earlier, and I don't talk like that you get a real miracle in my life to understand how about the situation live in and give me energy and motivation to take care of things, feel like what I'm experiencing is unlike what was I think Paul had this thing in the flesh right there to remind him of his weakness and got our butt. I expect that maybe what's going on. I don't have them. Maybe I should look into my physical health. I think this let's just stop right there. Yeah, you should look again physical health was less time so you Dr. will time the last couple weeks. I went to the emergency room a few days back I have a thing for Honolulu okay not actually functioning well you didn't call but mainly in my mental functioning frame. What did they say at the emergency room I can find anything and Kate have you been to a mental health counselor of any kind. Not recently.

My doctor at this.

I would wrap the yarn and you know your now I feel better now that I have years. It emotionally but whatever it will give it all of the above which what was your blood pressure. My blood pressure call it low it would slightly higher than is normally for me hello AR 121 over over 80 job like this. Top of normal love.

You drink a lot of water on the impact and when you entered the water. Her treatment the stress of what you're dealing with will have adverse effects.

This is you'll get right to that it will you render an enormous amount of stress yeah yeah I know that's not well going to the in any give it the respect it deserves.

Go to the emergency room when it gets to be crisis level is you know that's appropriate when you when you're in a crisis.

But let's go and get out in front of this thing and wanted to go ahead and get a referral from your primary care physician to go see a mental health counselor Nancy what's going on and in.not wait around for this.

Let's get out in front of this license. Middle healthcare is a Douglas East don't go see a life coach or anything that not and I don't want to get a bunch of calls from life coaches. Okay that's not what this is to disparage the life coach industry but were not dealing with life coach issues were dealing with physical abuse signal emotional issues and you need to train mental health professional that can be a licensed clinical social worker that could be a Catholic to be a psychologist or psychiatrist, but somebody who has had formal training at this I think you would benefit greatly from it may not in it it it may be something where you made. Who knows who knows what it is about to speculate what it is but obviously it's enough to drive you to the emergency room and you know when you go to the emergency room for something you don't need to go see a motivational speaker right you need to see somebody who is trained on dealing with stuff and and then start on that. Are you but what about physically. Are you active are you are you walking are you doing any kind of exercise you something about there, Dr. Moore will flee. I did martial arts and and 2nd° black you've heard of you furtive show gun when I'm show enough and have just get, but I did that and now moved out to Montana where I have a long ways away from the devotional so I can't get to it so I'm I'm having to retool some things with me and today you be happy to know if you be happy to know that, but I fired up my snowmobile I'm in Southwest Montana and am fired up my snowmobile and I want to be doing things for me physically just get out there in the forest and and start sliding around in and in doing things active because I think we have to do that. We've got to bleed off that stress and you gotta respect the stress that you carry okay in the way you believe that off is is several things want to miss you change your lifestyle to accommodate that. That could be food and rest and water in all this to get rid of sugary drinks and things like that.

The second thing is you gotta do some type of physical activity. You've got to do some walk, get up, go for walk, do something that in the third thing is you need to regularly check in with trained medical people. Whether it's emotional and and mental health. People whether it's emotional or or or physical you gotta do those things because the stress it's on you.

What you did with with your wife and raising three teenagers and working two jobs due to your body can't handle that your heart can't handle that without help. One of the book.

One of the landmines of my book 7 caregiver landmines is thinking that it's all up.

You is that what you think. Sometimes there in the other one.

Yet out of the landmines is failing to see to your own men of physical health. So it was 72% of us as caregivers don't see our own doctors regularly and his guys is one caregiving husband to another. I will tell you that we have this terrible proclivity to somehow distraught up white knuckle ourselves to just cowboy up and go do this work up with the rest of the steer to the ground here and it doesn't work that way. And one of things I learned martial arts from the very get-go is that we can't muscle these techniques we can't force it. We have to learn the technique and let the technique do the workforce but is his guys. Sometimes we try to muscled them up and were going to use our size and our muscles are strengthen her physical abilities to overpower and it's not that way in martial arts in the least is not Lord I'm doing is that we use the technique to do it and if I if I have to get to the point where I'm working up a sweat. I've done it wrong. When is a caregiver. That's the way we approach things as a caregiver. We tend muscle up and basically what's happening is that I want to just take just a stab at this your basically paddling upstream in Whitewater now turn the boat around and go the other way. It's a lot easier if you don't just turn the boat around and let's go the other way and let's focus on you, not trying to just muscle your way through this, but let's get some real help for you to, you can get back to a place of safety and real help for you is going to most likely it's going to be you sitting down with trained mental health and medical people and asked in and laying out just how much stress you are under and then start developing a plan to to an inmate just come in inches that we may not be doing this you know about, but major increments of eating get here overnight you get out of it overnight.

But you can takes significant steps towards you being a healthier person not happier.

The goal is not for us to be happy. I know that may surprise a lot of people. We can have joy but it but he said the joy of the Lord is our strength, not the happiness of the Lord is our strength were not here to be happy happy happy all the time time time. My wife doesn't have the legs and she's in pain all the time and this is been going on since Reagan's first term, where not to feel better about these things were not to be happy about those things but we could have join these things we can be healthier in the sinks and the goal is for us to be healthier, healthier caregivers make better caregivers. Your wife needs you healthy.

Your kids need you healthy and in the process, you may be surprised by episodes of happiness, but they need you healthy and I would suggest you from your call day that you will feel very healthy did a big now and not one on multiple levels but that's okay I doubt now would have you know we got a starting point.

So you got some action steps ahead of you this week. I got some calls that you can make this week. Okay, make the calls start that path to healthiness and thanks for making the call today. This is a big step you call show like this Saturday morning call a radio show for the caregivers pick up a phone like it's 100 pounds.

I get what you did a great thing and I'm very proud of you for doing this and I'm very grateful that you trust me with your journey is Roseburg… Hope caregiver. Hopefully caregiver.com health caregivers make caregivers.

I mean it's just that some little if you want to get that CD bracing you know it's resilient, hopefully caregiver.com Cedex we