A Half-Hearted Forgiveness

Bibles with you as I turn with me if you want to second Samuel chapter 14 and will start out verses 134 now Joab the son of the root mean that the king's heart went out to Absalom. Joe absented to call one brought from. They are a wise woman and said to her, pretend to be a mourner put on morning garments do not anoint yourself with the whole will behave like a woman who's been morning many days for the dead go to the king and speak thus to him. So Joab put the words in her mouth woman of Toccoa came to the king, she fell on her face to the ground and paid homage and said save me clean that with me as we got our Lord in prayer. Heavenly father, we are dealing with one most difficult passage of Scripture in the Bible. One of the attributes that we love most about. Use attribute of mercy, your God who forgives if that were not truly, we'd all be headed for hail. You also commanded us to forgive. Lord Jesus, you told Peter not to forgive, just seven times, but 70×7 and the Lord's prayer you commanded us to forgive as you forgive.

We have a passage before us today we see that there can be a too hasty forgiveness or forgiveness that leads to more sin and more heartache instead of real restoration. Father, we need help. We need to know when to seek for a person's repentance before expressing to that person. Unconditional forgiveness. We know better than to play God. We realize that we ourselves are sinners, so please use this Scripture today to make us wise as serpents and harmless as does what is the holy and precious name of Jesus that we pray.

Amen.

You may be seated. Several years ago is preaching in a Bible conference in Canada and a couple came up to me after one of the services and asked me if I would counsel with them. I agree to do that, the pastor, let us go into his office. We sat down and they told me that they were having some very severe marital problems and so I looked over the lady and I said will what's going on what one of the problems and she said that I'm angry and I am heartbroken and I just don't know what to do and she burst into tears as I turned to her husband and I said to him, will can you explain to me what's going on and he said yes I know exactly what's going on. She hates me and I deserve it and II don't know what to do either and I said will explain to me what you're saying here and he said six months before this he was getting ready to go to the grocery store he walked through the living room is little girl two years old was playing with her toys. He wanted to take her to the grocery store so he put her coat on, picked her up, took her out of the car placed her into the passenger seat but did not put the seatbelt on and he said they they took off down the road and the roads were icy that day and he said as they took off down that road. A car pulled out in front of him. He slammed on brakes the car skidded off into a tree little girl was thrown right through the windshield and she died in his arms, he said she died because of my negligence and because of my carelessness is my wife got the telephone call from the police station and she came up to get the next-door neighbor to drive her up to the scene of the accident, said she wanted she saw what happened and when she saw what happened since she went crazy. He said she started cursing and screaming. He said she beat me in the face she call me every name in the book and she said I deserve it and he said I been in a horrible depression, so I couldn't sleep I couldn't eat I couldn't go to work a set I wish that I were dead.

Then he said, finally after six weeks is why said towing.

I know that it was an accident. I know you did not mean for this to happen and she said I love you and I'm sorry for the way that I've treated you and I want you to know that I've forgiven you. He said he felt like the entire world.

The weight of the world.

He just dropped off his shoulders. He said it was absolutely relief like he had never experienced before, and he knew that his wife understood and he knew that his wife love Dean said it was just such a great relief within two days later he said he walked into the house and she was sitting on the bed and he said she had it handed them her hands and she was crying and said honey what's wrong and he said she said I'll tell you what's wrong. He killed Amy said you killed Amy and now I don't have a little girl to hold in my arms and the love and care for it all happen because of your negligence and because of your carelessness. He said I thought you had forgiven me and she said I did forgive you but I can't forget.

He said pastor every time we have an argument.

She brings this up and I have to live through the hail of that experience over and over again, he said, is that forgiveness I felt so sorry for that young man what he did was an accident. It was a horrible mistake. It came from his carelessness.

It came from his negligence and he was absolutely broken over it. He wished it hadn't happened if you could've gone back in time and put that seatbelt on, he would've done that in a heartbeat, no matter what it was costing 88 he loved his daughter and he loved his wife. He never wanted that to happen, he wanted his wife forgiveness so badly that it was absolutely killing him. And so I said let me do this and open the Bible up and opened it up to Matthew chapter 27, said, let's take a look and see what Jesus would do we have in the Bible if they are not read the story to them of the cross and we look at the people that were standing under the cross as Jesus was hanging on that cross, shedding his blood and and bleeding and dying for our sins and the people under the cross were cursing him and spitting on him and mocking him and laughing at him. And Jesus looked up into heaven, and said father forgive them for they know not what they do for gave the people who put him to death and they did it purposely, intentionally, and they did it wickedly a sense of the lady your husband is probably hurting even worse than you are.

He knows that it was his responsibility. He knows that it was his negligence and it was his carelessness that sent her daughter to the grave and I said but I want you to look at adding these repentant he sorrowful he is.

He is confessed his sin and is terribly sad I say can you forgive him.

As Jesus for gave you and she burst into tears again. She walked over to her husband. She hugged his neck and she said I do forgive you and they came up to me the next three nights in a row before I had to go back and each night they would share with me about how it was going and it was just getting better and better. They sent letters to Millie for several months after that telling me that the forgiveness was real. Today we are looking at another type of forgiveness.

Absalom wants forgiveness from his daddy. Absalom wants to come back home.

He's been in exile in a place called gesture for three years and he wants to come back home again. Wisely, they are. He's there because he conspired to have Amnon, his brother murdered because Amnon had raked his sister tame our and now he is two years had gone by during all that time and he was mad at David because David during that two years did absolutely nothing about it.

David didn't do anything to Amnon.

There was no discipline. Nothing. And finally, Absalom said of dad's not going to do something.

I'll do something.

I'll take justice into my hands. David was heartbroken.

Absalom had violated God's law. He had overstepped his bounds and now with no repentance was no confession, with no apology. He wants David's forgiveness and he wants full acceptance. Here's my question. I told the lady in Canada that the Lord was calling her to forgive and she did is what's going on with David. The same thing was the Lord calling David to forgive Absalom in that same way Absalom was unrepentant.

He was unbroken he was angry, he wasn't saying dad, here's my confession. I pray dad that you can that that you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

That's not going on at all. Absalom was saying dad. Don't tell me that I'm wrong.

Don't tell me that I need forgiveness I want you to agree with me that I was right and I did exactly what needed to be done. My homecoming should be a party won't know consequences. I won't your full acceptance and restoration date is in a dilemma here, Absalom's murder was a capital offense. They should have been killed for that murder. That should have happened.

And even at the least, he should have had to stay in exile in cash or David would've been wrong to have gotten bitter against his son Absalom and have a heart that was filled with hatred that would've been absolutely wrong but he was also been wrong to completely forgive Absalom and remove all the consequences for his sin, Absalom was not sorry he was not repentant and brothers and sisters justice matters got four points on to share with you today. Number one, there was an attention-getting trick. Look at verses 1 to 3 that Joab the son is a rely new that the king's heart went out to Absalom and Joab sent to Toccoa and brought from. They are a wise woman and said to her and pretend to be a mourner and put on morning garments do not anoint yourself with all but behave like a woman who's been morning many days for the dead go to the king and speak thus to me so Joab put the words in her mouth.

Joab who Joab is one of David's ministers of war. He was one of David's political advisors and the people came to Joab and they said Joab we don't like what's going on between David and Absalom.

We want you to get this thing cleared up.

We don't like the fact that Absalom is been banished from our land. We will him to come back googled that relationship between David and Absalom to be fixed.

Besides Amnon got what he deserved. Amnon was killed by Absalom but he should have been killed a long time before that because rape is a capital offense.

All Absalom was doing was defending the honor of his sister, and we are in agreement with that. So Joab you good day today that you tell David to straighten this thing out and to reestablish the relationship between him and his son so Joab thinks about this situation. He decides to try the subtle approach so he goes back home to Toccoa.

He finds a a woman that is very wise in the ways of the world. He knows her very well. The kids are off to the side. He says I need your help here and I know that you you will know exactly how to handle this so they sent them together. They come up with this plan.

They work this thing out so she can tell David a story she goes to David and she puts on this big act. She acts like she is terribly burdened and terribly broken in terribly sorrowful and she's just crying out to David and she said David Martin, I need your help. I need your counsel, and David said, okay, you tell me what's wrong and I will give you my counsel and she launched into this long, long story story about her husband who had died and then she had two sons and the two sons got in a huge fight and she wasn't strong enough to separate them. And so one of the sons in the killing. The other son and she said he did mean to do it. Didn't mean to kill him. It was one of those things that just happened. He's a really good boy she said, but now my family wants me to turn them over to the authorities so that the authorities will take his life and she said king David. I can't stand it if my son were to be killed. It would kill me. I can't stand it. One of my going to do.

David feels compassion for this lady. He doesn't like to see helpless people hurting so. He says man.

Don't worry about a thing. I'll take care of this. Not one hair on your son's head will be harmed in Texas to point to and point to is déjà vu your déjà vu is the French poet phrased it means I've been here before. I think most of us have probably experienced that all of a sudden we are in place that we been in before, or where with some people that we been with before we go into a situation that is very similar to what we've been through before and were thinking while I've done this before, like watching a videotape and rerun and you see it's out that this is something that I've lived through is déjà vu. That's what David is feeling right here at verses 12 to 13 then the woman said please let your servant speak a word to my lord the king, he said, speak, and the woman said widely and that he planned such a thing against the people of God for giving this decision, the king convicts himself. Inasmuch as the king does not bring his banished one home again what I call this déjà vu because this lady did the same thing that Nathan the prophet had done to David. They both came up with this.

These gut wrenching stories and they shared the gut wrenching stories with David and then doing David got called up in the emotion of the moment and the emotion of the story. Then they lowered the boom on David, you member what Nathan did. He told David the story of the rich man that went to the next door neighbor's house.

A very poor man but all he had was a little pet lamb that he loved with all of his heart and the rich man stole the poor man's lamb, and he took it back home and he slaughtered it and he killed it and he and his friend ate the lamb when when that happened. David was absolutely livid, coming the steams coming off his head and he said and he says to Nathan Nathan you get that man deserves to die. He deserves no mercy you bring him to me and I'll show him I'll show him what justice is all about.

At that point in time Nathan lifts his finger up and he pointed in David's face and he said David thou art the man you're the man, David, you're the one who who stole somebody's wife and then had her husband killed in order to cover over your sin, David.

You deserve no mercy. You are the man, and now this lady from Tacoma was doing the same thing same thing the David that Nathan did.

She told him this gut wrenching story about her son who is been who's been unfairly treated and who very well might lose his life because of that unfair treatment and she says David you're the man you the man, David, this is what you've done. What is true is happening that's unfair to my son, you are doing to Absalom and it's not right before God. November what David did when Nathan came before David and told him that story.

David broke down and he wept. He cried and he grieved and there was genuine thorough repentance. It was a beautiful thing. It's not what Dave is feeling here Dave is not feeling repentant is not feeling broken.

He's feeling confused. So what should David do well at Texas to .3 and that is David's confusion. Look at me at verses 19 to 21 the king said as I handed Joab with you and all this, the woman answered and said, it surely is usually of my lord the king. One cannot turn to the right hand or to the left from anything that my lord the king is said it was your servant Joab commanded me it was he who put all these words in the mouth of your servant in order to change the course of things your servant Joab did this, but my Lord has wisdom like the wisdom of the angel of God to know all things that are on the earth. Roger Ellsworth explain this better than anybody else already had to listen carefully, here the story of the woman was completely unlike David's own situation. Her son was guilty of manslaughter while Absalom had committed pre-meditated murder her son was persecuted by members of her family, but this was not the case with Absalom. Her son was the only remaining higher, but Absalom was not comparing her supportive situate her supposed situation to David's was then like comparing apples and oranges, but David accepted the faulty logic and treated the two is equal after the woman dropped her story and spoke openly to the king about his son. There were more holes in her argument.

She suggested the nation would be served by bringing Absalom back. She did not provide any details to back up her suggestion just how would Absalom's return. Advance the nation, the mind grows in vain for an answer for that, but David let it pass, we shall soon see what Absalom's return really meant for the nation with the weakest point in her argument was likening the forgiveness of Absalom to God's forgiveness of sinners.

She was right in saying God devises means to forgive, but she was wrong to suggest that God forgives in the same way she was asking David to forgive Absalom, namely by subjugating the demands of justice to the demands of love. She was completely wrong when God forgives is not at the expense of his justice.

And it is never apart from our own repentance. By the way, there is in Scripture, not so much as a single shred of evidence that Absalom ever repented of anything like dads and moms when they put you on the spot essay that your 13-year-old son Ben over at Walmart and he got called for shoplifting and what happened was he was in the Walmart. He saw pocketknife very expensive one and he picked it up. He put in his pocket and it was typed on the videotape and I a security guard sawing statelet as we started to walk out with that he gets outside the security guard comes up doing a said son stop you are shoplifting and you could be arrested for this envoy said no. I would shoplifting and he says if your pockets he empties his pockets and there's a pocketknife and the voices. I don't know how that got in there.

Somebody must've put in my pocket and the gas is what you meant that we got a videotape coming. I want you to see it and he took a man shouting the videotape. There's a boy put in the the pocketknife right into his pocket. He says you see that and boy started to take off running and so he stopped thing and then they call you, you as the parent come to Walmart you sit down with the security team and they tell you what is happened and then you pay for the nice and you thank them that they have not sent your son to jail and you tell them how much you appreciate the fact that they called you so that you can work it out. You and the boy get back in your car and you're headed often. He's in the backseat you're in the front you start questioning him about what he did.

He says I just don't talk about it.

I just don't want to talk about it so you quote the heat you quote to your son. The eighth commandment, thou shalt not steal.

You share with your son. The importance of having a good name and a good reputation before the world and before God and your son says you you just making a big deal out of nothing. This is no big deal. And so you begin to tell your son what this is gonna costing said you have to stay at home. No more videogames, no more computer no more television and more friends over for a long time. This is your punishment for this and the son looks at you and he says to you, you're a sorry parent you're a sorry parent for making a big deal out of nothing and I don't appreciate it whatsoever.

What would that do to your heart. Should you just capitulate and give into your son and let it go. That's what David is dealing with here.

Absalom has murdered his own brother and there was no repentance is not even regret is not even any remorse for what he is done. And Joab said to David, bring Absalom home. Forget about the punishment to get about the discipline on him, just bring them home and David capitulated and he lit Absalom come back home that takes us to the fourth point, a halfhearted forgiveness versus 23 through 24 then the king said to Joab a whole.

Now I grant the Esco bring the young man Absalom and Joab fell on his face to the ground and paid homage and blessed the king and Joab said today, your servant knows that I have found favor in your sight, my lord the king, and that the king is granted the request of his servant Joab arose and went to gastrin brought Absalom to Jerusalem and the king said let them dwell apart in his own house is not to come into my presence. So Absalom lived apart in his own house and did not come into the king's presence. But it's what this is on David's part is nothing but a halfhearted forgiveness.

David knew that Absalom was not broken over sin.

He was not repentant. Absalom did not want to confess his sin. He did not want to acknowledge that what he did was wrong. He wanted the blessing of David without any discipline. David knew in his heart that this was gonna be nothing but trouble. So what should Absalom have done. I believe that long before this time Absalom should've sent a message to David and should've said to David is daddy should send daddy I sinned against heaven and not sin against you. What I've done was horribly wrong.

I couldn't murdered my own brother I broke the law of God. I I am so sorry. He said daddy I realize that I don't deserve your forgiveness. I don't deserve your love.

I said what I deserve is an eternity in hail, but I've been begging God and I am now begging you to forgive me dad would you forgive me.

Would you have mercy on my soul. If you done that what you think. David would've done. I think David would've run to his son. I believe he would've just thrown his arms around him and loved on him and it would not of been some halfhearted forgiveness. It would have been complete forgiveness. David knew what wholehearted forgiveness from God was like. He also knew that wholehearted forgiveness did not come from God. Until there was brokenness and repentance on his part. Remember what David did a mini immediately after his adultery with Bathsheba and his murder of Uriah the Hittite. He ran from God.

This went on for several months even want talk about it. He didn't want to think about it and he wanted to push God away. He didn't have to deal with it whatsoever. And for those several months. David was absolutely miserable. There was no experience of any fellowship with God at all during this time it was a horrible situation that David was in and then God sent Nathan and Nathan, the prophet's told the story and David was broken before God.

We read the prayer that David prayed in Psalm 51. David said this, have mercy only of God according to your steadfast love. According to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions, wash me thoroughly for my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. Hide your face for my sins, and blot out all my iniquities cast me not away from your presence and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. Deliver me from blood guilty in this.

Oh God, me ask you something. That sound like David was expecting some kind of halfhearted forgiveness in some kind of halfhearted pardon note.

David wanted full forgiveness. He wanted a full pardon. He wanted nothing breaking his fellowship with God. He wanted that sin washed away completely, so that he and God would never break fellowship ever again. That's what he wanted. God answered David's prayer God granted him full pardon and granted him a a full forgiveness and folks David didn't just know it in his mind he felt it in his heart he once again experienced that sweet presence of God and that mighty powerful fellowship with God that he had missed so much lite something it did not come until there was brokenness and repentance in David's heart friends. That's what Absalom wants from his daddy. He wants full forgiveness. He wants a full pardon and unhindered access to his dad. He wants that, but he wants all that with no repentance with no confession, with no contrition with no sorrow over sin he wants fellowship with his dad again because he wants to be the successor to the throne he wants to be the next king of Israel, but here was David's mistake.

He gave Absalom and apathetic halfhearted forgiveness because he knew that Absalom was not right with God it was not right with him like he couldn't give them a full forgiveness chimney given him a halfhearted forgiveness to David brings them back to Jerusalem, but will see that David is not gonna talk towing is not can have fellowship with team and it leaves Absalom an absolute state of confusion. David knows that justice has not been served that Absalom is not repentant. We read you very quickly what Richard Phillips said as the chapter concludes we can see just how the restoration of Absalom fell short of the biblical requirements first. This was a restoration without justification, nothing to change with respect to the legal status of David's son, just as God's. God must be disgraced if he accepted guilty sinners into his presence. David's justice could not allow Absalom the privilege of the Royal Palace. For this reason Absalom. We have two full years in Jerusalem without coming into the king's presence.

Though Absalom was permitted to return to Jerusalem.

His humiliation for his great sin continued, and his enmity toward David only increased.

Likewise, when men know them sales under the curse of guilt for their sin.

Their mind is hostile to God, and they do not submit to God's rule. Absalom needed the forgiveness that David saw his own prayer of repentance. In Psalm 51, David was repentant, Absalom was not, when God forgives. It is not at the expense of his justice. And it is never a part for my own repentance and by the way, there is in Scripture, not so much as a single shred of evidence that Absalom ever repented of anything having said all that, then what are we supposed to do in situations when we been really done wrong. We are told by Jesus to love our enemies, we are told by Jesus to forgive those who have hurt us. We are told by the Lord, that we are not to seek vengeance are self. We are not to strike, strike back.

We are called to turn the other cheek and go the 2nd mile plus those are the words of the Lord Jesus Christ himself. We can't take that lightly. But here's the key. Forgiveness does not mean condoning sin and forgiveness does not mean forgetting justice. David's era was a halfhearted forgiveness. He just lowered his standards, he failed to bring justice and he left his son Absalom and complete confusion. He should've said to Joab, Absalom does not come home until there's genuine repentance is true for kings is true for parents true for husbands is true for wives in the McKay this bugs we don't see this principle lived out anywhere better than at the cross of Jesus Christ.

Jesus paid it all.

All the hear my own sin is left a crimson stain, he washed it whitest nine men was pray heavenly father.

What a tough passage of Scripture and ring second Samuel 14 I become more aware that nothing in this world makes sense without the cross.

If it were not for the cross we would all be Absalom's Lord use the cross to make us more loving, more merciful and more understanding.

Help us to realize that the cross never hides the need for justice to be accomplished. It magnifies it.

Give us wisdom. Help us to think with our head and our heart, but not one without the other. As we partake now the Lord's supper may we be wowed by the gospel. Praise you Jesus for taking our sin and imputing to us your perfect righteousness. We are undeserving words in Jesus holy and precious thing that we pray. Amen