Dad

I revolves with you turn with me if you would to second Samuel chapter 13, start with verses 135 will be going through this whole chapter 9 Absalom David son had beautiful sister's name was Tae mar after Tom Amnon David son loved her and Amnon was so tormented that he made himself healed because of his sister, Tae mar, for she was a virgin and it seemed impossible Amnon to do anything to but Amnon had a friend whose name was John a day of the son of Shamil, David's brother, John Adair was a very crafty man. He said to him, oh son of the king. Why are you so haggard. Morning after morning. We do not tell me Amnon said to him I love Taymor, my brother, Absalom's sister Johnny Depp said to him, lie down on your bay and pretend to be evil and your father comes to see you say to him that my sister Tae mar come and give me bread to eat and prepare the food in my sight that I may see it and eat it from her hand with me as we got our Lord in prayer.

Heavenly father. Today is Father's Day. We live in a culture that is been radically feminized.

Our colleges are developing courses to destroy masculinity.

Our government is trying to force Americans to celebrate the destruction of God's design on gender. We are told now that we can pick and choose what gender we want to be. If we choose mail it better be the watered-down version. Lord you didn't design that you promise not to honor it are cultures falling apart as it mocks your physical design of male and female as it lasts at the authority structure that you set up for the home and for the society I pray for the husbands and fathers here at Grace God, please give us the spiritual backbone to stand up to the culture and say no. Help us to act and live like men, not macho, filled with bravado, rainbows me and who are protectors defenders examples to our family men who live holy lives and lead their families by the truth of your principles by the power of your spirit make us tough and make us tender. In other words, make us like Jesus. 40 is the holy and precious name of Jesus that we pray. A man may be seated. We share with you a sobering statistic 20, 21 so-called Bible believing churches in America. Only 17% of kids who were actively involved in the church through their lives are still actively involved in that church when they reach age 21, we Tae that's a statistic that Alta put the fear of God in every person in this congregation the day of the providence of God on this Father's Day we come to this particular portion of David's life. Second Samuel chapter 13 where David is break breaking principles of fatherhood and in so doing bring in great destruction upon his children upon his wives upon his nation, and upon him his own self over 200 years the church in America has been a powerful influence on the culture in America but over the last two decades, there's been a great turn around and now it is the culture that is bringing great influence upon the church folks were living in a time where CN is rampant where common sense is being thrown out the window where God is mocked and the Bible is laughed at. We need truth and Danny's need biblical guidance.

Today, Christians are not told to be holy any longer were told that we need to be woke. Our children are told to forget how God made us just choose your own gender. Elementary kids are being taught to explore every sexual opportunity an option that comes your way. Drag queens are reading lewd books to our preschoolers, daddies, it's time to get serious about fatherhood and is going to take time it's going to take effort is going to take heart, and it's going to take sacrifice. But what could be more important.

One of the most famous evangelist in American history was a guy named Billy Sunday Billy Sunday was a professional baseball player Canaanite Christ was converted and God called him to preach he preached in baseball stadiums and in churches all over America, and under his preaching tens of thousands of people came to know Christ as their Lord and Savior because of all the rigors that he had to go through a billion, and evangelist. He did not have much time for his family. In fact, he greatly neglected his family, his sons all grew up to the hopeless alcoholics and they died lost on Billy Sunday's death. He made a statement that struck my heart very hard. He said this, what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his own children.

His words remind me of an incident in my own life when I was 29 years old young pastor went to visit the lady in the hospital and I got up there and and she had another guy that was sitting up there with an elderly man was her uncle and he was a retired pastor. We stayed for a few minutes I read Scripture to them before I got ready to leave and and had prayer and then the pastor looked over to me said, can I call you downstairs and I said yeah come on, he walked downstairs with me and is were walking downstairs. He he he looked over at me and he said can I give you a word of advice and I said yes. Are you sure can. He said don't be one thing here church and something else to your family.

He said I had two sons, he said. I told him that I love them. I didn't love them but I did not have time for them.

He said both of them are dead nail both of them were alcoholics and they they died in an in a drunken car accident.

Both of them died and they died lost. He said Doug listen carefully to me, it's in Mark my words, you will regret it.

If your success as a pastor and a failure is a dad. Godly advice from a very godly man and a man who was a broken hearted parent today honest look at David's relationship with two of his sons, one of them was Amnon that was his oldest son, the second was Absalom. Absalom was the second oldest son, you remember the great rebellion that Absalom was into with his father, Absalom tried to take the throne away from his dad. Absalom tried to turn the hearts of the people of Israel away from David and toward him. Absalom was a man that seem to have everything in the world going for him. He was handsome he was strong he was tough he was wealthy and he was the son of the king with the bitterness he had in that he had in his heart toward his dad led him to an early death and have it he die, he was hanging by his hair from the, the limbs of an oak tree and I took a speeder and I cast it through his belly today. One of the saddest stories in the entire Bible is found in second Samuel chapter 18 where the courier comes back and shares with David that his son Absalom has been keeled and here's David the shepherd of Israel, the man after God's own heart the apple of God's eye. The writer of songs. The children of Giants and what is he do, he falls down on the floor and he's weeping and he's crying and he says oh Absalom, my son, my son would to God that I died in your place. What happened between his father and the son four points I want to share with you today .1 is the father's neglect. Look with me versus 335, but Amnon had a friend whose name was John a day of the son of she media, David's brother John a Dabbs, a very crafty man and he said to him, oh son of the king. Why are you so haggard.

Morning after morning. We do not tell me Amnon said to him I love Taymor my brother Absalom sister Johnny Depp said to him, lie down on your bed pretend to be evil. Your sister comes to see you say to him, let my let my sister Taymor coming give me bread to eat and prepare the food in my sight that I may see it and eat it from her hand like this is a situation Absalom had a older half-brother whose name was Amnon. Amnon was evidently a young man with a great deal of very deep problems in his life for you some very twisted in inordinate desires for his own half sister Taymor. He knows this is wrong in his heart he knows that this is incest and this is terribly wrong before God. But he knows that she's beautiful and he is absolutely out of control on focusing on David's neglect for just a minute. It is evident that David did not know that his son had these very deep psychological, emotional and spiritual problems and neither was David very concerned about the people that that his son Amnon was making friends with this is, is this son that are this man that that Amnon was making friends with what was a man that was just had horrible horrible relationships with p.m. and was bringing horrible things into his life. Proverbs chapter 13 verse 20 says this the companion of the fool will be destroyed in first Corinthians chapter 15 verse 33. The Scripture says that that evil company.

It corrupts morals. David should've been all over this, the E should've known that I am not had these weaknesses in these proclivities to certain types of sin. Patient is not known. His son was like this should have been screening Amnon's family and his friends PA put to this particular friend was a man named Johnny Depp he was not only his friend. He was also his cousin.

This was David's brother's son, his brother Shelia looks David wrote the majority of the Psalms disguised is not a spiritual pygmy should've known better. Should've seen right through Johnna Dabney should've said Amnon. This young man is trouble. Stay away from me.

I don't want you hanging around this guy because he's going to get you in trouble so stay away from him. He will influence you toward evil parents. We have to go further than David. We have to further than David did. Because David didn't have to worry about unseen friends on the Internet and many teenagers today are lured into horrible habits through so-called friends on the Internet who are after your child's heart. I'm amazed today of how many parents just freely let their kids go spend the night in the homes of people and they don't even know what these people are about. Don't know what's going on in their homes.

Listen for over 42 years, I have counseled with a plethora of million who were hooked on pornography and I've counsel with them. We tell you where it starts.

90% of the time during the time that there 10 to 15 years old I go over to a friends house I go to that friends house and the parents aren't home. So I start looking through some stuff and they found and find a stash of Playboy magazines that the father owned or stash of the of X-rated DVDs and they check them out. They start looking at them in those images get get burned into their minds in such a way that they never forget them and they were in bondage from that point in time.

Parents don't be naïve. I'm not saying to teach your kids to be unfriendly or to teach your kids to be standoffish.

I'm telling you to be careful.

If your child is going into the home of unbelievers and they are unsupervised realize at that family may not have the same standards and probably don't and may not put out the same roadblocks that you have in your home within.

We are told in second Samuel chapter 13 verse six that Amnon even uses his dad to get what he wants and so his dad is being used by Amnon to get Taymor to come into his bedroom and when she does he violates or he has his way with her and in doing so he destroys her honor the damages. Her name, and he breaks her heart and as soon as he gets 20 walls from this girl. Then he his hatred or his lust turns to hatred and he absolutely hates her and he mocks her, and he storms her and he tells her to get out of his life he never wants to see her again. Absalom sees Taymor in this great state of depression.

He walks in and she's just absolutely distraught. He looks at her face and tears rolling down her cheeks.

He looks at her roses call the virgin road and it's been ripped and she is just bawling Absalom find out exactly what is happening because she tells them what is taken place with Amnon and Absalom stands they are and is in his hands are shaken and his voice is trembling and his heart is just about to pound out of his chest.

So what are you doing, he took it to his daddy he went to David and he shared with David what I Amnon had done and how how his sister Taymor was just absolutely.

It just devastated and the Scripture says in verse 21 that David was angry he was angry and what was David's failure. David failed because he did nothing. He just let it go. There was no discipline there was no accountability.

David did nothing to correct the situation. Folks that's failure as a father. That family was hurting the brother Amnon had committed the act of incest and sexual molestation. This sister had been physically, emotionally, and and mentally just absolutely devastated. And here was Absalom.

He was so mad he was ready to kill his brother.

He was that angry. If ever there was a time that a family needed the daddies wisdom and love and guidance.

It was right then and David did nothing. David should've responded. Should've gone very quickly to deal with Amnon and he should have dealt with him because what he did was a horrible, terrible sin should've been very quick discipline over and Ecclesiastes chapter 8 verse 11.

The Scripture says when sentence for a crime is not executed speedily the hearts of men are given to do evil. David should've gone to his daughter, Taymor should've comforted her. He should put his arm around her should've loved her should've responded to her with deep Grayson and deep concern he should have built up her self-worth.

He should have been there to be a strong shoulder for him for her to lean on. Should've prod with his daughter. He didn't do that, we tell you what makes my blood boil it's daddy's who don't have a lap for their daughter who are affectionate with her own daughter who will put their daughter up on their lap when their little who will hug them good and had know about a shoulder for that daughter to crown wait for that daughter when she's weeping and give that daughter encouragement when she needs it he won't help her to feel secure because if she felt secure in the chances are she would need to go out and find affection from somebody that she does need to be getting affection from Wyden that happened while we see so many daddies not have a lap for their children of their dollars. Especially anymore. I think the reason is because we got so many perverts and pedophiles out there that are doing great damage to their daughters and their doing that in their getting away with it. And so what we're being told to do today is since they are hurting those little girls in use or moral million you need to not show affection to your daughters either to stay away from them don't show them this kind of affection. We Tay that is wrong before God. Christian dad, you need to love on your your daughter you need to show them godly affection that is so very, very important. David should've gone to Absalom should've helped him with his anger problem PA should've gone to Absalom in and talk to him about what the Scripture says about forgiveness maybe telling stories about how King Saul had had so mistreated him a try. The killing over and over again, and how God gave him the strength that he needed to be able to forgive him and to move on with his life. He should've told him all that but he didn't. David didn't do any of that.

The Scripture says that he got mad. He walked away and he didn't do a thing for a family that was deeply needing his wisdom and his love. What in David do anything.

We don't know for sure, but I have a feeling that I know. I think that David looked at that situation and then he looked back and at his own life and he remembered the sexual affair that he had with Bathsheba and all of a sudden that guilt begin to speak to his heart and that Gil said to David, you can't say anything to your family because you're guilty of sexual sin yourself parents listen to me. Don't let your guilt, your past failures keep you from being a good parent. You can take your past failures and you can use them to teach your children don't do this, there are consequences to it that you don't want to have to deal with how important that he is and have godly parents can do that even if your past has not been what it should have been on the second thing I was to see is a father's cover-up. Look at verse 2:23 full years Absalom had cheap shares that Bill Heiser which is near Ephraim and Absalom invited all the king's sons may reach what IW pink had to say about this. He said you're in quite a lengthy interval. Absalom had concealed his bitter hatred against his half-brother under an appearance of indifference. For we read that he spoke under him, neither good nor bad.

But now, Absalom deemed the time right for vengeance to cover his base design. He invites all the king's sons to his feast, which he had purposed should be the place of execution for his unsuspecting unsuspecting victim.

Only the last great day will reveal how often treacherous designs have been cloaked by apparent kindness.

Judas betrayed his master not with a blow but with a kiss. Absalom waited for two full years.

What was a widely known he was waiting for his daddy to be a daddy. He was waiting for his daddy to take the bull by the horns and he was waiting for his dad to do what he should have done correct the situation. David did nothing for two years he swept it under the rug. He turned to face away, looked in a different direction, and he just went on about his business.

He went on about trying to get the image of being a great King. He went on about right in the Psalms going to the tabernacle of David dancing before the Lord and worshiping God and the people of Israel looked at him less than what a man of God. What a great spiritual giant and his family said the daddy were dying me tell you something, I believe that Absalom could have lived with David's initial failure failure of not dealing with Amnon of not loving and's and spending some time with his daughter. Given your help and affection in helping to restore her and not dealing with Absalom's anger.

I think that if he David had gone back any time during those two years, and he said to his kids look.

I apologize to you I am sorry for what I've done.

I have let you down list deal with this nail, and he had done it. I'll guarantee you they would've forgiven him, and things would've gone good, but David did not do that.

Charles Stanley said that one day he walked into his son Andy's bedroom to talk to him said when he walked into the room.

Since the, the curtain was open and the sun was shining brightly into the room and he could hardly see anything and he walked it over to to to shut the curtain and when he did, and he had a chest set a JHS that that was on the floor and he stepped on it said pieces that just that went everywhere. As we walked over to the to the wind day close the curtains up and he walked back and he turned around and he said you don't need to leave your chest set on the floor like that he could get broken and he walked out and he said little bit later and he walked into his office is a dad, can we talk just a minute and he said yet what is it he said there do you realize that you just walked into my room. You kick my chest at all over the all over my room. You accuse me of of of a range in my room in a bad way when it really wasn't and then you never even said you were sorry Charles said that he sat there for many got tickle started laughing and he said you know you're exactly right. I did do that and I'm sorry. I ask for your forgiveness then and he said something that Charles said he would never forget as long as he lived. He said that if I had walked into this room and I confronted you with that and it if you had had a did not. It or if you got defensive. He said I would've really lost respect for you. We as dads need to understand that that is not a sin.

To say I'm sorry sometimes it's the best thing in the world that you can do for your kids.

5.3 is a father's consequences, and there are three of them a is missed trust equipment.

Verse 27 but Absalom pressed him until he let Amnon and all the king's sons go with the Absalom waited for two years in hopes that his dad would do what he was supposed to do and then he said to himself, or daddy is not gonna take care of the situation. If he's not going to minister to my sister. If he's not gonna deal with Amnon that I guess is left up to me and I guess I have to deal with it myself. I'm not trying here to justify Absalom's rebellion.

I'm not saying that he was right, but I am saying that David could have prevented it.

Absalom acted out of absolute utter frustration. He just didn't know how to handle a situation, the trust had leaked out their relationship.

Parents let me ask you some can you kids come to you with the problem in your kids come to you and say you messed with alcohol mess with drugs of got myself into trouble morally got in trouble at school can they come to you and know that you can respond to them in love and grace maybe would discipline surely would discipline may be severe discipline, but with great love and great grace. I had a great daddy and I did not want to disappoint my dad because I love demon always wanted his approval.

But I'll tell you this. I was never afraid to go to my dad if I did something wrong because I know that my dad loves me unconditionally. They love me unconditionally and I knew that if I had murdered somebody. It would've broken Dan's heart, but he would never quit loving me in man, let me tell you something I am eternally grateful for dad be in that kind of influence on me and 42 years of pastoral ministry.

I can't tell you how many teenagers that I had come in my office, sit down with me start tell me about a problem and I asked him, as if you taught your dad about this and I start laughing I snow. I can't tell my dad about this.

My dad would get mad.

He blow what a blow his top 15 you about this in our relationship would be more strained than it is right now as were supposed to mirror God's image when I mess up.

I know I can go to God and confess it is what he tells me to do and I can confess it because I know that he loves me.

He tells me to come confess musty and forsake my sin turn from it and then the Lord does his love and brings about things in my life that only God can do that is what were supposed to be doing is dad's dance.

We got a start building real trust in the hearts of our kids. Until then, not really going listen on the second consequences example look with me at verse 29 so the servants of Absalom. Did Amnon's Absalom had commanded that all the king's sons arose in each mounted his mule and fled.

Absalom watched his dad's life and he noticed how David dealt with. Failure when David had failure. What did he do he covered it up here in this situation Amnon is done this horrible terrible thing and what is David to David. Just, ignores it, he turned his head away from it. He will look at the situation. He won't deal with it directly.

Hey, want to just forget it covered up.

Maybe it'll go away and then he will be hurt politically. We see this over and over and over again in David's life when David got in trouble with Bathsheba and found out that she was expecting his baby. What did he do. We tried to cover it up and he said will get Uriah the Hittite will bring your back down here to get with his wife again.

Then we got he'll think that the baby is he is. Uriah came down he would not get with his wife and so Davises that we got a big problem now got to do something else.

And what did he do.

He conspired to have Uriah the Hittite keeled. And what was the purpose of that to cover his own sin. So now Absalom space in a crisis. His heart is broken for his sister. His heart is filled with anger against his brother Amnon and he says I'm between a rock and a hard place and the only answer that I know is murder. I'm going to have to keeled out getting drunk and then having keeled.

That's what I'll do. I will murder in order to alleviate the problem. Like father like son. When David could handle the shame he murdered. Absalom could not handle the anger he murdered. The third consequences destruction. Look at verse 39 in the spirit of the king long to go out Absalom, because he was comforted about Amnon since he was dead.

Absalom had Amnon murdered.

Then Absalom fled in and ran away and now David was not just losing one Sunday was losing two sons, David never did get his communication back with Absalom like they had had before. I did talk together little bit later, all but one real communication. They never had father-son communication ever again in the Scripture tells us that David longed for fellowship with Absalom, but he never got it. I have a pastor friend lives down in the eastern part of the state that shared the story with me years ago he had a young 16-year-old girl in his church that his dad was a deacon and this girl took a pistol, put it to her head, shot herself to death. He told me the story. He said this girl, this deacon's daughter went to her mom and dad sat down with the mom and dad and begin to share with them some problems. She said I'm expecting a baby. She said I know this hurt you. I do not want this to happen it hurts me and I know this disappoint you. I am so terribly sorry and the wife told the pastor that her husband, the deacon went into an absolute tirade, said his face got red as a beet. He picked up things off the table and threw them across the room and he said to his daughter who knows about this and she said nobody knows except us. He said they get in the car, got in the car the road all the way across the state to an abortion clinic and he forced his daughter to have an abortion against her will, and she had the abortion. Never once did that did a tear rolled down the cheek of this man never once did he put his arm around his daughter. Never once did he encourage her. Never once did he show or any kind of affection or any kind of love whatsoever. All he was concerned about was his reputation in that church in that community. And that's really all he cared about.

She left a suicide note suicide note said this daddy I promise you I will never embarrass you again parents. We will never know the destruction that we can bring into the life of our kids to hypocrisy. Hypocrisy always creates destruction.

My fourth point is the father's option and that option was honesty is the Scripture here because he didn't have but one option couldn't do anything else here, but just be honest people.

Our kids need to know that we know that we not arrived as Christians, they need to know that we are well aware that we make mistakes that we fail that we falter that we stumble just like they do when we tell our kids do as I say not as I do, then they just laugh at that.

But when we say seek what I'm seeking. Shoot for what I'm shooting for and listen to it together then I might listen on the close official story farmer has some puppies for sale and will sign out front of his farm will boys come home from school Saul assignment went up to the farmer and knocked on the door so see you got some puppies for sale Sedona by one of those puppies and the Manson's on these puppies are very expensive. They come from good stock boy reached in his pocket.

He pulled at $0.39. He handed to the man and he said is this enough to look at the puppies and Manson yet. Come on back and he went in the backyard and he called the mama dog to Dolly. Come on out.

Dolly bounded out of the doghouse right behind her were four little puppies and they came running out bouncing jump in and just having a great time and and all the sudden 1/5 puppy stuck his head out the doghouse. It was a runt and he couldn't jump down so you just kind of fell out of the doghouse and then he started walking with a limp little boy was looking through the fence at the little puppies and he pointed at the runt and he said Mr. he said that's the one I won't. I will that one right there and the Manson son you don't want that puppy said that puppies he's he's a runt and he can't run and jump and play like you need a little dog to do. He said you don't want that puppy and little boy since her you don't understand, and he reached down and he took his pants leg and he lifted his pants leg up and when he did, there was a steel bracelet was hooked on to his shoe that went all the way up to his knee. He said I don't run very well either. And he said that little puppies gonna need somebody who understands that man looked at the $0.39 in his hands and he said the little boy you normal sale at puppy for 30 nonsense you warning and little boy said yes sir I sure do.

And I took off home rejoicing. Our kids need to know that we understand them that we're not perfect our self that we have weaknesses and failures just like they do dance. Be honest.

Be tough, be dependent upon Christ and you will be what your kids need is a dad is probably heavenly father's we look at David today, our hearts hurt for this man. He was the apple of God's the man after God's own heart that he was a failures a day story that we have of Amnon and Absalom is heartbreaking. Amnon lied to his sister. He molested her.

He committed incest to use her for his pleasure and rejected her as if she were yesterday's trash.

Absalom felt the need to take up for his sister, his dad David should've done it.

David shirked his responsibility, Absalom had his brother murdered three of David's children broken devastated and hurting because of David's spiritual and parental apathy. That apathy drove his kids in the ministry and heart ache that every dad and granddad in this congregation leave this building today with a deep resolve to be not passive fathers but active, obedient, godly men. Lord, you called us to lead. Please empower us to do it. Put steel in our backbones mercy in our hearts is upright before make us like Jesus make us so tough and tender that our children and our grandkids might see Jesus in us forts in the precious and holy name of Jesus that we pray. Amen