Creating Summer Memories With Your Kids

Please is no way now, it's hard to believe but Memorial Day is now pastors and summer is here and along with that crap.

Some challenges if you want to keep the kids occupied and fix a meaningful memories Focus on the Family Jim Daly I'm John Fuller and today were to be talking about ways that you can take advantage of the upcoming summer days to really have some fun times with your kids. John and I so appreciate and have such great memories for the summers that we been able to spend with the boys said you know there at the end of the time with us, but we look back and it has been terrific, especially camping camping's been kind of our course go to activity for the summer and we had a lot of fun. Certainly a lot of challenges to in fact I think we have a clip of Troy mentioning one of the early camping tries the first time we went camping we know we will RV and we went camping with that first trip with RV was just an absolute mess. I was my dad and we can finally after filling some electrical cables.

I ended up running back and forth to local Walmart about nine or 10 times, I do remember that I think I was like a 25 mile round trip and I did make like eight or nine trips, so he got me there. But that's the fun of some of these family adventures right. Well I'd like to think so.

I mean, we do have a lot of times when I can recall the kids were melting down the back of the van or the camper was leaking where the tent we had with a situation where there was a bear walking through the camp and I little toddler in the tent on thinking this is not a good idea so we had a few times go wrong, but there are some creative ways that are safe and you don't have to go 25 miles to 10 times to find the joy in all of that today were joined by Crystal Porter and Tara Davis. They have some great ideas. Crystal has five kids under the age of 11, and Tara has three young boys and they're both part of the help club for moms which helps mom's really thrive and connect with God, and there also co-authors of the book to help club for mom's records have that book on our website or give us a call and I would get the link in the episode show notes Crystal and Tara are welcome to Focus on the Family, thank you, thank you for it so good.

I think as we break out of this memorial day weekend. I mean it's time people want to experience you know the fund that normally comes with summer and I know I thought with Jean and I particularly you know when the kids were probably 1112 we started counting. We've only got six summers left to do the things we want to do to have a little fun and all of that.

So what's the big picture look like for us right now with all the obstacles were in the face.

The summer can we still have a summer packed with good memories.

We can still have this wonderful center. Does it matter we have to stay home every evening to do this right here in our own backyard.

Yeah Crystal going your direction now and both of you have struggled with insecurity when it comes to parenting and I so appreciate that vulnerability you express in the book and you know in your blog, life and everything else that you know it's good to be honest with those things that you struggle with but explain if I could ask you Crystal first briefly in your childhood and why that made you feel like you could never be. Maybe a good mom not to mention a perfect mom but how did you overcome that what were the stances crying I got with my grandma African majority of my child had been taught about 12 and then I went to live in. My aunt and uncle and so I never really had that traditional experience and having a mom and dad and took care of me and you know different things he would do with mom and dad and so on. The ironic thing is I always wanted to be mom and like my dream. And so I when mother had finally came and I had been a rainy night.

I'm just can be the best mom in the world.

I just can't wait forever. I'm in then enter my baby looking at her for the first time and I thought oh my goodness, what am I doing who trusted me with this job. Think anyone I remember my in the real me, my family and they are about to leave and I thought where you go and so that kind of entered in that insecurity that feeling of motherhood is big and hard, and especially when you don't see an example of what you hope to have you donating all growing up. I felt like I was starting from square line starting from the bottom and so that made it really hard and I really had to think in certain it's been a journey for you and to remind the listeners mean you're a mom you been married 15 years and you have five kiddos right now you from experience how how old are the children. My oldest just turned 11 and nine, almost 75 or almost 5 next week and a 10-year-old motto about every two years. I had a baby so we've been you know that keeps you fly like the children so you know qualified and you have found the way right. But right see that you even with your insecurity. Being a mom that didn't know didn't prevent you from having children. I just applaud you for that.

Yeah, I mean to jump right in and and definitely especially when you when it's a desire of your heart.

You know, even if it's messier looks messy.

Got a kind I like that Tara. Let's start with you in terms of getting into some of the ideas and activities that we can do for the summer. You have something called the fun ticket that your family doing it. Sounds good.

What is the fun ticket and how do you deploy it well. Always looking for me to just bring into our home. I think there's a lot of just daily work that needs to be kind and intentional about bringing some just enjoy that work so we just need a simple little take and I put like 28 little family all the things that we wanted to do, so it's just going growing every day, kicking up with where I countries together, including myself, were actually shocked making around simple story to get anything, just don't require a lot of time investment whole numbers plan justifying party just for them to start a family. Some parameters you know probably can't run to the store that we have.

We can just make it right here so punching their fun ticket leads to more fun. I like this you know not right to crystal you created something I think you call it activity stations around your house. I like that especially write an essay called doing the dishes.

That's all like the washing machine like that for activities that is what you do with activity stations. What are the okay so when I just had enough of each other lately. I know for me I need some time independently.

I know that they need to have as much of a gauge for knowing themselves as we do. We know were tapped out.

We know we need something in there, like the overstimulated until we finally cost them closely and so I kind of figure that out somewhere along the way and decided I'm just going to make little stations for my kids. It was something for me is a mom that gave me a little bit of time and basically what happens is I set up like a painting station in the kitchen at the table in another room is a legal building station or whatever everything they need. Al and I make maybe five or six different ones of those one of them is a screen station so I put the computer out here play games and then every 20 minutes or so I said okay rotate station and they can end up really happy afterwards like something now and they're happy to play to something different happened in their day.

So I break that out when we need to pressure you. What's good with that to your giving them some structure and their playtime and that's a great thing to do truly provide structure structure is good for kids because they learn this through that some moms might be thinking right now will there's no way I'm as creative as Tara Crystal got a special gift and I don't have the gift. I'm the gift of Monday but to that mom to be in debt to you know monster to control this a bit more and influence more to the mom was feeling like I just don't think that way I'm not as creative. What would you say to her letter to help you know your kids are naturally creative.

If you like kids naturally use their niche in yet and they can help you come up with ideas.

They are an excellent resource to create.

You have to be creative and let your kid sleep also talking about this yesterday just how she said were not strong in so many areas so many months to just help us teach us how to make a schedule, how to make a planner, how to be more organized and does not know that any relationship because then we can share ideas with them to pray on it. He wants you to have a wonderful relationship with your kids to enjoy them and what I can tell is that our kids mostly want us to join them in their fun versus asking creative to share upon story story is 12 years old. A rough time fighting with everybody that so we took a walk together and walked down like where we walked down to the pond by our house just a natural kind and amazingly, and I've actually been praying that God would just show him something that they got more and more into this. You know on the way many opportunities you know in my going to get something like this where he asked me his heart is open, you know he was in a soft moment) and so I stepped on my shoes and they were like older she is no water swimming around. I can either moderate now which would be like the normal adult thing to do so.

Kind of a little bit slimy pond just always and everything. I just went for it and he said this is the best day of my life and just when I'm about to just plain he came back and talked to everybody that he was frustrated with so really just broke through his scratchy exterior and I know I probably remember something fun together. They were busy and retired and the opportunity sometimes seem like something that you absolutely don't want to do. Why not why not. We have a short time just take like some good encouragement from our guest today on Focus on the Family, Crystal Porter and Tara Davis. You may not have a pond.

But we book and the book is the health club for moms Tara and Krista both contributed to it and it's got lots of great practical ideas it might give you the courage to say yes at that moment when you'd prefer just to sit and watch your kids have fun, some great ideas in this book, get a hold of it. Call us our numbers 880 family or the link is in the episode notes crystal sometimes finances can be a constraint. I'm thinking particularly now the summer where people have a lot of people that have been laid off or unemployed, and they have children they still got some creative things to do you create a list. I think it's in the book 225 simple ways to have fun with your kids. And yes, with your permission will post that at the website but what are couple of those ideas.

I mean, some of them I like have a dance party in your backyard. You know, make milk into case and how the milk and I can tell you that the span of ages of 0 to 18 everybody likes cookies make that an event just think like that list is also looking have a picnic in your backyard.

It's all super simple and cost zero dollars but they make, or even a backyard campout. If you're brave enough.

That's a feeling that I can recall the top of my head, but I just feel like if you just know just like what Terry was talking about that just a little bit of intentionality a little bit of that saying yes you know it doesn't cost money to have fun. We have a pool were in Arizona and so my kids. They love it when I swim with it. It's binding upon thing, because it's like when I went with my kids in the pool. We have fun thinking is like the finest thing the world so every now and then they don't think I'm in a do it, but I'll get my something I'll cannonball into the pool entrance will be no other like she's usually so boring you know just apprising your kids every now and then, with a yes just apprising them in your mind like some fun in these bone. They really remember that every time that there like when the kids are younger it is.

It's pretty easy to keep them entertained. I think, and not every day but generally you set out to do it in your kids are right before someone challenging front of you with the teen years. I know you can venture a couple of your stories there, but I know parenting teens can be this disinterested.

I don't want stations to run tomorrow, Monday, but one thing we did the train I mentioned this, but we did models because that was something you know it takes a will more capability. So when this shelter in place occurred. We were driving back to say. The Hobby lobby and grab a couple of car models and putting together his like Alice to that effect. I think we have a phone call that the producer did with Troy. Let's roll it beginning we were to do something like a like stuff I hope you models to do our models worked on. We set up our table and spend a few hours so for the first two days for Jesus, sitting here working on our own models together school specials that you know fun thing to do. It does allow you to talk over the table to but speak to the ideas you might've picked up from other moms about engaging teenagers like what you are saying from what I have seen just so important to join him in what you're interested in if they had an interest in interest of yours just tapping into that interest. Sitting with and learning about it. Taking time to just do it together and build excitement in yourself so you know not drag her acting like just enjoying that time. I'm learning about learning about their personal things that they really find interesting and enjoyable. Think about now I have a younger brother who is 18 and you know just like asking him, he liked how can you jump into like a terrible thing to say exactly what their what their into and just learn how to play video game and sat there with them and play for a little while and I feel like that's just some of the best times for then you do that. Another thing I want to make sure parents hear about something you call Jesus moments were Jesus centered routines.

That's really intentional.

I applauded speak to that. What is it and how does a parent think about emphasizing Jesus in these play times have just this one time with our kids and where that binds to our just gifted with the chance to teach them about Jesus. Right when we can talk anybody else that's no responsibility for our own so just really taking every single opportunity.

You can find to bring Christ into your daily routine letter that just being outside noticing creation around you talking about anything I need for treason and a little bit hard to quarantine just a routine has been changed.

It's never too late to start that we are left to take tenant breakfast eating so perfect I wanted out or read to them. So we read devotional missionary stories.

We just talk read like I'm off during lunchtime I read just a product. Just a couple of just let him direct conversation. I like the idea of drip irrigation that way because we can over load our children with the dissertation yes I want to play dead. You also this summer. I think years selecting prayer is the item to teach your children how are you going to go about doing that give us some ideas.

I'm starting not just seeing where my kids are struggling where questions about prayer going to kids in this area ready delete the questions has really hard questions like this not answer his prayer sometimes and so just starting with starting with the word digging you know my kids and then I just find things praying around the world every week or two. Travel to a different continent and pray for the people on that continent make food from that constant yelling saying you're traveling in your house were traveling in our house just really enjoyed yelling to talk about the country that were going to be paying for that week to make some entries on my little kids even like pretending I'm the airplane country on whatever constant quote. So that's one fun thing to me like I'm just really trying to be intentional about teacher kids straight so they can just be regenerated ourselves on asking him to teach me just what our prayer life is supposed to look like how I can grow. To you again, these are great ideas to engage your children to keep them entertained with the purpose.

I would say Crystal.

Perhaps I've saved the most important question for the end here and that is you know you speak to that parent who feels burned out. They've been home with their kids a lot more lately and they're feeling tired and they're not plugging and they're not recharging. Maybe they feel unappreciated. Many more get to that place.

What can that parent do to feel closer to God and get filled up again so they can have the attitude that we been talking about not look to the negative side of things and being overwhelmed but have a positive mood and in essence the metaphor of this program obviously is jumping in the pond. But how can you get to the point where there filled up enough that they could say yes. More often okay so my answer might sound a little unconventional but I heard one time is at a conference and was a mom conference actually and this woman had said.

She said you need to fake it till you make it because you're being intentional okay so that's that.

Like I said it might unconventional, but what I did was in the morning time, for example, and I had woken up before my kids. I was really excited to have just a minute alone right that's like why I woke up early and then I see yes one minute and I see that little child coming in my room coming down the hall and my reaction is like no no no no, what I was thinking about but I do feel like the Lord just told me sometimes tell her that you're happy to see her today to noting so instead of my like what you need right now you know you are you hungry or she's hungry right I'm gonna be like. I'm so glad you woke up today so good to see you and it's actually really crazy to me this works for me personally, but it's crazy to me whenever I shift and I do that I actually do feel it okay to see you today. I feel that is just little ways of being intentionally thinking your days where you know every now and then I'll just slip away and even in the bathroom. I had so many times were like we had to sleep away to the bathroom because that's really the only place that they're not banging on the door. You know I will listen little devotional out and all turn on and I'll listen to it for five minutes and just taken three great myself and walk out the door.

I mean, I think that there are so many little things that you can do talking about like rhythms today for your kids.

I think is mom we have to kind of, and dad Tino. We have to set some rhythms for ourselves some little moments where we can go in kind of, and that that's unique to our personalities even to go and to just gain a little bit of composure make a little plan. Okay, what's this afternoon to look like for me what I can do. When I walked out of the bathroom door. I don't know I get to the point where I met Jean with her boys one out the door.

The other one just around the corner from leaving all of that you look back you go either. I'm glad I did it this way, or I wish I would've done more. And that's the program today so you don't end up in that spot crystalline terror. This is been really good. I hope fun but also insightful for moms and dads to think about the impact you have on your children.

I want to emphasize the importance for us as parents to connect with God first, which you really done how to take a theme like prayer and think about it through the summer and and do activities that aim your children in that direction. That's a great idea and the book is full of great ideas in that regard, and I hope moms and dads will pick this up for a quick read on how to organize your summer, not an exhausting way, but in a way that will make amazing memories. So thank you for being with us.

As Jim mentioned earlier, we have a couple of free PDFs for you online with even more activities for your summer time and you'll find those at our website and while you're there, be sure to get a copy of the health club for moms inspirational and practical help for you, your home and your family will offer a lot of great insights for you. You can take notes in the margins and pass along to a friend if you'd like the book is yours for gift of any amount to support the ministry here at Focus on the Family. Donate your copy of the book, click the episode notes forgive us a call coming up tomorrow on Focus on the Family.

Dr. David Clark offers inspiration and hope for your marriage you to make God loves you, love your marriage is sacred. All is sacred and he will help you save on behalf of Jim Daly in the entire team. Thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family I'm John Fuller inviting you back is once more help you and your family thrived in Christ