Caring for Your Neighbors During Coronavirus

And, what if the people of God learned how to take the teaching of Jesus seriously like were to love those who persecute us word to pray for those that we find difficult or annoying or challenging. What if every believer could try the other neighborhood and I think we can have to because we can escape. So it's it's an opportunity.

If we choose to see it as such to grow and really try on the teaching of Jesus and that's J pathic and he's our guest today on Focus on the Family along with Dave Runyan talking about neighboring during this covert, 19 pandemic.

I'm John Fuller and your hostess book as president and Dr. Jim Daly dear John, that while the pandemic is brought out some no horrific situations.

There are also some silver linings around the dark cloud. I think the deep appreciation for first responders has been awesome of people now recognizing what doctors and nurses actually do but their own lives at risk to help save ours and that's been wonderful to acknowledge them, perhaps for the first time in that way also. Where were at with our neighbors.

I think in some ways, even though we had social distancing and those kinds of things. Neighbors of help their neighbors to do grocery shopping or do other things and I'm so proud of Jean. She's done some of that for our neighborhood. It's been great to see and that today were going to talk with two people that we talked with the a few years ago and how to reach your neighbor and I think the folks again enjoy listening to these wonderful ideas about fulfilling the second commandment of Jesus and actually loving your neighbor as you love yourself well. As you said Jim. Our guests have been here before. J pathic and Dave Runyan are pastors up in the Denver area and there were a great book. We talked about link over to the previous conversation book is called the art of neighboring Jan Dave welcome back to Focus on the Family strata beer great severe solicitor was probably 2014 when we had you on and you are doing some things in Arvada that were quite unique to reach your neighbor and the story about that started with a meeting that the pastors there had with the mayor and Dave you were there at an OJ if you're both their we are but they're okay. We came together with about 20 or so pastors in Arvada right outside of Denver, Colorado, and we were really trying to figure out what can we do together in our city. How could the body of Christ be on the same team and have an impact. And so we invited in our mayor and our mayor came and sat with us and we just I got to know him and got to know some of his story and then we just asked amino what should we do together. How can we have the biggest impact if we actually want to work together our community and he said something that surprised us and that put J and I on a trajectory that we weren't expecting our mayor.

It is said, you know if you guys could start a neighboring movement. It would be the best thing that can happen in our community, and he went on to share that they been talking at the city level of the fact that when people know those that live right around of the people based on proximity that there's a lot less weight on all of the programs that they're trying to create for people in need. That's failing 30 ESA United said we can raise a bunch of money and start a new program for elderly shut-ins or that person is growing older and more isolated in a family on could live in an apartment complex or to live on a block or the people know them and actually care form out of relationship and he said this beautiful line and inserted some other people in the cities that they said will or learning that the city is that relationships always trump programs, J you came up with a diagram to help people do this and that's what we covered in that earlier broadcasting John, I'm not sure for him to put this together is to pack, but maybe folks we can also include that broadcast information, but J refresh us with what you came up with the help people better do neighboring really basic things like a tic-tac-toe board right your address little thing, then you just the question is do you know the names of the people that surround so if you update neighbors just start at the top of the box writing their name and we found as we done this now all over the country. It's somewhere around 5 to 10% of people can name all eight of their name and it's amazing. It's simple and it's something that you know when I heard about it. That's why wanted to have you on those many years ago, so people would think about this. I guess it what is the fundamental reason that were not in tune with our neighbors. What's going on.

Yeah, I think there's a couple reasons for that. Jim, one of them is that the pace that we live. That is way faster than it was 4050 years ago, and there's a lot of reasons for this technology is one of those and so there's is less margin in people's lives to engage with the people who live right around 90 people used to leave work and actually stopped working in, and now we leave work and we got this thing our body allows us to continue to work all the time and so we spent less time in our front yard and we used to and then I think there's also just a general fear we get exposed to a lot more stories of brokenness in our world and that causes God is chronic anxiety for people and we make assumptions about the people who live around us negative assumptions more quickly than we, and we used it once I think those are two of the main factors that have the value of literal neighboring a little bit lower than it used to be.

And in those the hospitals that we got overcome. Well, you know, everybody knows the Scripture that says love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind. And if you've got extra capacity.

Love your neighbor as yourself. Is that how that goes.

You, I think it actually says it.

Unless they're annoying I yeah exactly. If they're weird you're allowed to skip over them. That's the rule.

But again, what's so funny with us as human beings. I do say the Lord does have a sense of humor. I mean he says listen I know 10 is kinda complicated for you someone to boil it down to just two love your father in heaven and love your neighbor and then we come back and say okay Lord there's still one too many here so the basic thing about doing it. I mean, it's not a suggestion, the Lord is is giving you. It's a commandment to love your neighbor. I think the other key thing and I'd like for both of you to comment on this. One of the things that I've seen when engaging people that don't agree with me in my Christian faith.

It's not typically where you start, you start with more human commonality you know if the person has an interest in cooking or just whatever. There might be to connect with somebody to open up their heart and I think that's when the Lord says love your neighbor. There is so much more power in that that he knows our spiritual DNA. He knows how people are going to open up to the Holy Spirit in us.

If we demonstrate love to our neighbor there something I don't say it magical that happens when someone feels loved by somebody.

It's God's fingerprint honest we cannot resist it when somebody shows us respect and love yeah I mean if you we can just build simple ways for folks to connect me once you start connecting you know someone's name, you start a simple conversation.

It gets the ball rolling me once the ball is rolling your heart connects to them. It starts effective prayer life. You start to think about them is your doing your day-to-day activities yeah little extra when you made dinner or you made some dessert you think you know me. We should drop this off wire neighbors, but we don't other names we not had any connection is sort of like out of sight out of mind you, you don't think about what just one small step lease another small step and see no your connecting in a deep spiritual level and Dave in this kind of situation where we have a pandemic. I mean how do we go about doing something like this. It's a little unique right now. So what we do. Yeah, for sure, and we actually had another amazing moment here in Colorado with Karen Geisinger. She's an infectious disease epidemiologist here with the state of Colorado and we run with her. I don't know about five weeks ago maybe four weeks ago in there's a lot of churches that when all this happened just to see you. What can we do how do we help believers to respond in this moment and she pulled another one of those moves eyes or she wears back to the Bible and she didn't even know about the name astray. She just said you know what we need at this moment isn't for churches to start a bunch of new programs. What we need is for the people who go to those churches to engage with their neighbors and to do it in very careful and thoughtful, and safe ways and so we've been working with her and some of the team to think how can we as believers take advantage of this moment in a week. People don't have face-to-face interaction work right now or at school. They at church but were seeing people everywhere in our neighborhoods insert you know, John, Jim, you guys are the same way to see people out way more right now than we have in the past and so we have a moment, as believers, to really lean in here and to address some of the loneliness.

Some of the social isolation that's going on.

By connecting with the people that we live right around and so I we put together this little toolkit which I think by your team reached out to us is this toolkit has been a really powerful way for believers to just do some small things in their neighborhoods. During this time of of COBIT 19 that make a big difference in its simple stuff you know it's thinking about course of the older people that you live around you. Reach out to them and just engage with them.

Make sure ask if they need anything. If looking at those people you see walking by what you may not stop a distant to stop and submit like Jay said maybe I don't know your name and to remember their name to use their name museum or maybe to ask the household is impacting your work in what's life been like with your kids in your home, your week. We are in such an incredible moment. Right now we can lean in and take the conversation below the surface into some things that really matter and so we built this little toolkit with a bunch of simple, practical things that believers can do to engage with their neighbors into do it from 6 feet away, and so were excited about that. I know that'll be up on your site and it's been a really great tool for a lot of people around the country, then that's great. And John, let's link to that and how do people do that job would have the link@focusonthefamily.com/broadcast or give us a call and will tell you more 800 the letter a inward family and that's the art of neighboring COBIT 19 toolkit. We also have of course the original book the Art of neighboring by our guests OJ and Dave and it's can be a great resource for you as we all can come out of the season and enter into the new normal, whatever that looks like you know both of your pastors and I guess the question I have is why. Why have we lost the art of being a good neighbor. I know we talked about the busyness of life. Of course now we've got an excuse not to be outside and mixing with our neighbors. That's the pandemic, but there are things like we talked about that you can do and I guess the reorientation for us as Christians, we we really should be the best at showing interest in our neighbors and having a heart for our neighbors and that's what you're really inspiring people to do right is cutting it back to the basics, yeah. I mean, I've been thinking a lot in the midst of this pandemic on how the church is always thrived when things go terribly wrong throughout church history, the church right has survived and thrived through wars and famine epidemics of all kinds and so very like this is our moment. You know it's a moment to wake up and remember who we were always meant to be, you know, especially when some of the programs that we depend upon the Sunday services in the classes and the things that we been great at overtime. Those are taken from us so this is a moment for us to get to the most basic parts of our faith. When we love God and love people around us because were the front line your your neighbors really are. Your first responders so this is our moment for the church to rise up and be who are meant to be absolutely, and it seems to me whenever we read the Scripture and go back to the core things in Scripture is telling us to do and again in a Jesus saying I know 10 Commandments may have been a bit much, never to get down to two love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind and love your neighbor as yourself.

This is what were talking about today when we look at the pandemic COBIT. 19. The impact on that things are beginning now to loosen up.

States are letting people do more public activity, etc. nonessential activities beginning to gin up. How do we continue to be that good neighbor as we move through this opportunity to demonstrate being a good neighbor. What are things we can do. You know, I think people's anxieties are not just go away after this year just because we flip the switch and I think being the kind of people that can talk about that with others to share our own things of like, you know, here's what I've noticed about how this is impacting me personally.

Here's how I notice is impacted my kids what what's it been like for you, just being the kind of people that can ask those types of questions that will make a huge difference as we move beyond and I think there are some simple things that we can do just to be, you know, cautious, and to be careful into make sure that we're caring for the vulnerable in order.

These neighborhood citizens and were described in lawn chairs and were sitting 10 feet apart.

My life doesn't next each other. The other couples are sent 10 feet apart was hanging out for an hour and it's been one of the most life-giving things that happen in our neighborhood is been a great point of connection and I'm confident that were to be doing that for the monster, especially as it gets warmer here and so I think we can still utilize some of these things that we've done right now and make sure that we don't does God allow us those for COBIT 19 and and move beyond that, I think there's so many silver linings that were experiencing right now. Jim and my prayer is that the church doesn't just try move back to normal in that we as believers don't move out of this without grasping on to some of these things that have been really potent and powerful. During this time that is so good. We have a staff member. Actually, his wife, Lori, Leander and Kurt Leander. They had an idea. I think Lori had the idea where they are doing virtual neighborhood. You know, barbecues, nobody is there, but they're doing it from home on Zoom and there just picking one question.

You know it's a favorite memory you have is a child or what was your best vacation ever. And once a week. The neighborhood and there in a cul-de-sac so they already have that kind of common element, but that the neighbors have loved it and I don't even know if any of them outside of the Leander's are believers in Christ. I don't know but Kurt said it's been astounding. The connectedness and the sense of togetherness that this is created even though physically they have been together really just over the technology, but kind of opening up to highlights of their lives in learning more about each other.

That's kinda what you're talking about right. Yeah.

I mean, I've I've experienced that friends that I've had the don't have faith are so open to conversations right now spiritual conversations about what is my life about you know they are starting to realize all the stuff I don't my life on apparently doesn't hold up. Doesn't it doesn't work when things go terribly wrong and they are more open to talking about life of Jesus. What it means to have friends to be the church to be a family. I mean so many families are pressurized right now in a way they don't know what to do. You know they're not escaping to their job. They're not distracted by driving a sports stuff there, sitting together going I don't know what were made of. What is this and we get to think about our marriage with the think about being parents differently, and in so I've been in some incredible conversations. I mean a corset by Zoom but I'm hoping that on the other side of this. We can continue those. They've been kind of woken up and what their life could be. And Dave, I think I want to get back in the last couple minutes here to something we started with and that was the hindrance that we have either because of our personalities know this can be hard. II tend to be more extroverted, so I like meeting new people are not intimidated by that but some people who are more temperamentally bent toward introversion. This is really hard. I mean and I don't want to make it sound like if you don't do this. Your failure because God creates us all in different ways, but for the person that may struggle a bit in relationships, how can they rise above it and actually you know have the courage and the desire to go meet with somebody they don't know that can be really intimidating. Yeah, that's a great point and I just want courage. If you're listening. You don't have to become a different type of person to do this and what I would encourage people to do is think about, especially if your introvert invite people into things that you're already doing.

You know if you're passionate about, you know your garden your passion about your sports or service working just simply invite somebody into something that you're already up to and I think that takes a lot of the barriers down and really lowers them in so learn your neighbors names to connect small steps and the reason why we just keep saying the same thing over and over again is because we seen at work and we seen what's happened.

We see neighborhoods grow closer together and there's a big difference in between that neighborhood were based on ways to each other and are not really connected in the neighborhood were you driving people I know this you you've experienced this in your own life. Janet, it's been really encouraging a watch you model this out here.

Some of your stories but I would encourage everyone extroverts and introverts. If you live in a rural area you live in urban area. Here's the great news.

You all have neighbors and it's all there for the taking and when we is delete when we as believers start to lean in and and be present and be available in interruptible in our own neighborhoods good things happen all over the place and the other the other tricky part to this and I guess this will be a little bit of a self confession. Some neighbors are easier to be with than others. If I could say it that way. I stayed out of anybody in particular that in fact the neighbor. I'm thinking of is is moved but that person he was a bit more difficult. He always had an issue with the property line and that was always something was always being stirred up and it just didn't make it easy to be this person's neighbor, but that's no excuse is that that's that's probably my fault for not doing more but speak to that more difficult situation were actually you may know this person little bit but you're finding it hard to like him yeah you back you not.

This is where we have a chance and I think a lot of times when Jay and I sure started on neighboring people circuiting about very specific neighbors that they that history with right this is a chance for believers to be the people of peace to be the kind of person that goes over across the streets as they listen, I know I got a lot of stuff happened between us. I love just to have a clean slate and to be that kind of person is what brings peace to a neighborhood not seen you not to have any boundaries but what I am saying is so often there's been an accumulation of things that happen between people and then you just indent drifting into this stalemate and as people of God.

We have an opportunity and were called to be in the middle of that to be agents of forgiveness to be agents of friendship and connection instead of letting small things faster and get out of control and so I'd encourage you if you have a neighbor like that. What would you think it would be like to just show up as the most loving and forgiving person.

That person the next time you interact yeah was tricky as there the kind of people you can't get away from.

So like if you're if you're frustrated with somebody at work, you know, it's like out now I go home and do my own thing.

If there is someone it's hard to church like all just join another small group.

So in one sense, you know that the question you're asking is really important because I think our neighborhoods are the best lab we have for the New Testament. You know that like where we can really live this out.

Yeah. And what if the people of God learned how to take the teaching of Jesus seriously like where to love those who persecute us were to pray for those that we find difficult or annoying or challenging. What an incredible laboratory. I mean, what if every believer could try the other neighborhood and I think we can have to because we can escape. So it's it's an opportunity.

If we choose to see it as such to grow in really try on the teaching of Jesus in a new way. And those are excellent points. I think at the end here. What I would love either both of your one of you to do. The Scripture talks about the wound of a friend and I think we been dancing we've been saying it but were kind of dance around the idea that a lot of modernity is seeped into us as Christians today and were not doing the things that should be done. As Christians, to positively infect the neighborhood to change it into something good that we do a series called that the world may know with red Vander line and he talks about the presence of a Christian should bring God's shalom, his peace into a neighborhood and that's what you're describing. This is all the way back to the Old Testament. This is what it should be like to be around you is a Christian that your very presence because of God in you is going to bring shalom to your neighborhood. This is not you know it.

A multiple-choice opportunity. This is what we need to be filled with the fruit of the spirit and bring God's shalom. So I've done my job. You guys take a whack at that making the statement even better. Well I I love what you said what you share their jam. But what I would say, and I would add to it. Is this I think I really helpful question for all of us as believers to ask ourselves is this is if I moved away today.

I moved out of my neighborhood today. Would anybody care what with their being with there be a gap in what's happening in this block because if not then something's off, you know, JJ like to say a you know in order to love your neighbor, it's helpful to know their first name. So that's a good place to start and then what I would add to that is after you know their name and you begin to build connection with them. We should be intertwined in the fabric of our neighborhoods in a way that if we weren't there other people would Greeks and that they would really miss us in week if you are a person with a you do move in your believer and you have experience that you experienced the deep grief of having to leave a neighborhood we have close relationships.

I would just say, that's when you know you're doing it right.

That's when you know your till and it is is is when you do you walk away and your heartbreaks in the hearts of others breaks his heart is. That is, it's also affirmation about living out the kind of life that Jesus wants us to live good yeah and I all I would add I love the way you describe the spring shalom.

That's who were meant to be. As we been called to be the heart things a pastor is I have to realize that most of the folks I'm interacting with have been discipled by the culture more than by the Scriptures and so some things have to be undone like maybe I need to change the way I live my life day to day to put what Jesus says is most important, the center all the law and the prophets are summed up in this.

To love God and love your neighbor as yourself. Okay, maybe that should be like towards the center of my life and unfortunately so much.

We do the Scriptures in with our faith as we stack our life up and then we go where can I pepper Jesus and where can I fit in my my kind of Bible thinking or my church attendance in the middle of all this. How can I just stick it into the sides.

Instead of saying not to put what Jesus is most important, the center and build from there down it's it's well said Dave. Let me let me wrap up here – you to pray for all of us to be that good neighbor to fulfill that second commandment, the Jesus gave us especially as believers, can you do that now you are right.

So if I was come before you and that we think you for your word and for the way that that we can examine something that we've read hundreds of times we thousands of times and that it can still take on a new light. And so, God help us to match up our intentions and our actions help us to close that gap between that the way that you have told us and encourage us to live in the way that were actually living and God give us specific people bring bring those people to mine and in father give us the courage to lean into those mildly awkward moments as we begin to connect with the people that you place right around us in your name. Amen, amen. Thank you Dave and Jay hey thanks for being with us reminding us what it means to be a good neighbor, and the we can't wait to have you back next time and maybe we can grab lunch as soon as we canned up there in Arvada John and I'll drive up and spend some time with you.

We do it the great are to be great. Let's do it, let me turn to the listener here Focus on the Family I want to know we're here for you and as you navigate the physical distancing issue and that the other challenges that are connected to this pandemic environment know that were here for your family and if you're looking for answers to questions a call us. We may not have all the answers but will have some and will have some resources to help you as well. Just like our guests content.

Today, it would get lots of great resources including the book the Art of neighboring and then the art of neighboring COBIT 19 toolkit of the PDF so ask about both of those and anything else that might help you as you make your way back into the new normal, are numbers 800 the letter a in the word family 800-232-6459 or click the link on your screen for more and John, as we often do, if you can support the ministry here. Focus will send you these resources as our way of saying thank you for joining us in ministry.

Yet we need your support on an ongoing basis. If you can make a monthly contribution.

We sure would appreciate that this Jim said will send that both the art of neighboring to you as a thank you gift. Once again our number 800 the letter a in the word family on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team.

Thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family I'm John Fuller inviting you back next time. As we once more help you and your family thrived in Christ