How I Found God Through My Abortion Journey (Part 1 of 2)

John Fuller and today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly will hear about one woman's unbelievably tragic journey of risky and harmful choices that could've easily destroyed her life and this is not going to be a topic for young blisters.

We need to warn you that what you hear today represents how lost and blind. Some people are today as they try to medicate. Fill those holes and pains in their life with drugs and drinking and sex to the point that they lose all sense of right or wrong can even comprehend the consequences of their bad decisions, and that was illustrated by this dramatized entry in Cynthia Wentz's Journal when she was just 15 years old. Thursday, September 16 went and had my kin murdered.

They knock me out as an IV Senate feel thing I wanted mine and Jay's baby so bad. John one of the worst tragedies in our modern world is how many teen girls and women are facing a horrific decision just like that. Maybe they're confused and afraid they don't see another option. Worse, they're not exposed to other options. In some cases, all too often these girls and women don't have anyone to confide in a responsible, godly adult who might give them practical help and hope for that nodding new life within them. As a result, millions of precious pre-born babies are literally destroyed every year and that man, folks.

This is why Focus on the Family has been a consistent voice for life for more than 40 years now. We believe God created each one of us in his image. Believer and nonbeliever, which gives us great worth and importance in the Christian community. We have a responsibility to protect and speak up, not only for the pre-born children who are at risk of abortion, but for their mothers as well and that's why we've chosen to address this difficult yet important topic during sanctity of human life. Week and we hope what we share today will challenge you to get involved in the pro-life movement and we been encouraging our focus, friends, and other community believers to continue praying about the upcoming Supreme Court decision later this year regarding Roe versus Wade. In the ongoing battle rollback pro abortion legislation later on today will explain how you can help save lives through our option ultrasound program right now, though, were going to introduce you to Cynthia Wentz.

She's an author or speaker pro-life advocate. She's written a powerful memoir about her own experiences with loss and despair from abortion. The title of the book is healed for life story of redemption and we got copies of that here the ministry.

The link is in the show notes or call one 800 the letter a in the word family Cynthia, welcome to Focus on the Family, thank you so much life matters. I'm so appreciative you care so deeply that it will in your story is so amazing and that's why I'm looking forward. You know it's a heavy story, but one amazing thing. God is done in your life and that's what matters most. Let's get right into it that you paint a picture of yourself is this vibrant, well loved child in a loving home.

Sounds like a Focus on the Family home if I could say it that way and describe what that younger child was like she was Katie Petitti seal his tiny tiny little little little and dancing on top of the Volkswagen bag in South Philadelphia, and the life you know maybe the black sheep of the family that the life of the family dancing didn't need an audience.

The audience was in my mind unanimous the bridge that the townhomes dead-end into in South Valley. There's the row homes and all the steps and I can remember being just larger-than-life tiny person so fun I couldn't relate everything when I was five. Your board is run around playing Batman in the alleys and having a great time right just trying to enjoy life. Yeah, that's what it sounds like we would've been a dynamic duo in our neighborhood but your grandmother nanny. I think she was a very important part of your life, why, and then what happened. This is my mom's mom or Italian, so we kind of commune together. She lived with us until August 12.

And I remember being scared and I was under my canopy at night sheet speaking – don't ask me why am not bilingual in Italian that I understood her and they would be nights where I was the candidate would wake up in the middle of the night at 4 AM screaming from the bad dream for whatever was in the dream, and she would be the one shuffling down that hallway and in her way of sharing her faith.

She had that beautiful blue crystal rosary Is her way of giving me a piece of her faith. She put it in my hands. She packed my hands. She take any time spent on JSA and she'd say you know it's okay and I remember holding thing that meant something to her and I remember looking at the canopy and I just remember feeling comforted by her faith in that way than from 12 to 15 there was a bit of that wandering feeling right words nanny. Yeah. And where is my rock, yeah, and your parents were doing well at the time describe kind up until 15 when I came off the rails for you, but there's so many young people that are in homes that have a lot of destabilization and you know kids struggle processing that sometimes and I want to capture that for people for parents to better understand, perhaps with their 1213 €14 a feeling when there's not God's peace in the home to challenging thing is and it is apparent how do you provide that in your imperfection and I think you for sharing with parents at large. My parents got wrapped up in self my dad who had a very rough upbringing abandoned in eighth grade supported three sisters turned to the ponies. The horseracing gambling and a bottle for comfort and escaping. You can almost understand it rationalized that my mother was his prom date. When these are South Valley kids Italian families grew at my dad wanted nothing more than to be the father he never had and in a way, provided it in his character's work ethic, his provision and who he was, but he couldn't provide it emotionally and spiritually because he had no point of reference in the well had no well and when they began to do this, I began to do this when this began to separate them in that context.

15 then became kind of a demarcation point of sound alike in reading the book the that was when you started looking for those hugs right places that want healthy scribes yeah this again your story is, is not your story alone.

This is a very common story, especially for teen girls don't feel like there's adequate love in the home so that your speaking to many, many people now and your minor yeah.

You're not required to process what's going on and see you grasp at things and so at 14 actually looking for love in all the wrong places.

I began acting out promiscuity and mean where Italian is plenty of alcohol in the house and you can find the outlets and begin drinking course the neighbors to help Havard down the townhouse alleyway and began you know my friend and I began going over these older men's home and at alcohol or drugs were provided that we kind of became the object if you will tragic the door was open in my home. My father was remote. My mother was working just because I was home alone and they were neighbors that thought it was cute the open door does not mean walk through it. I walked through it. I less sassy. I thought I could get out there and take the world by storm and get the world to me and I naïvely went into those environments.

Cynthia tells about that first abortion. What age were you what happened. What were the circumstances so right about this time I walk through that door. I walked into the arms of strangers couple months go by. My mother realizes I have not had a menstrual cycle.

I go to my mom said mom I'm pregnant since I've noticed him and asked for feminine product you haven't noticed, and I looked at her and she had the solution and this is where to your point, you can't look back and blame, but you can look back and go. She was doing what she thought would help me there's along the land that said it was okay and she borrowed cash so there would be no receipts for my father to see she got her friend Annette, who need it was our support system. We drove over to you know a road where there was an abortion facility. She checked me and under her best friend's name paid cash just turned 15. Enter first abortion while that journal entry that was read at the beginning of the program express that desire even as a late 14-year-old 15-year-old you want to keep the baby from yeah yeah I mean, so the longing of your heart. Was there even as a young woman, a girl described why didn't know that longing was there. Here's why.

As a minor that abortion enters and that veil of sin comes over that young woman doesn't have a process Chesney resources to process so what is she do she numbs she acts out so it wasn't until years later that I found that journal and I remember my husband and I were decorating for Christmas and pulling things out of the attic and I found the job analysis sweet liquor handwriting and I hit the page and it became a trigger in my healing journey because I had talked I had thought she just wasn't aware she was blindly carried away to the abortion clinic at 15th and just had no comprehension and that diary entry that journal entry was she knew she knew she was very aware that that was the taking of a life.

Our children may be naïve, they may be young but they're not blind and are not have the capacity to understand and that journal entry showed me. I understood what was going on. Well, this is Focus on the Family with Jim Daly and our guest today is Cynthia Wentz and she sharing very candidly about pain in her life there is hope. As the story continues about the book is called field for life story of redemption.

So contact us today for your copy and I keep listening. There's a lot more to hear of the link is in the show notes and her numbers 800 K and the word family Cynthia in recounting that that feeling of loneliness. I'm just touching that hearing your heart. I can imagine 15 you think your dad's going to go into those blazing rage your worst away secretly, your mom, the girlfriend all of the head be such a lonely place really lies. I remember we went from the abortion clinic to Denny's. We went from the abortion clinic from the removal of life from a young girl to practice while in probably didn't really talk about ever again. While I hope you feel that I can certainly see the Mets appreciate the ability of still tender for you. Sometimes we can say these things so often you lose the heart part of you have, that's amazing.

Let's keep moving. Yeah it's going to do dicey yet another heartbreaking story from your book yield for life which involved even though I don't want to choose the words well-meaning coach and swim coach what happened well so that's interesting right so here's a broken child to ease strong but immature. Here's this healing agent that comes along perceived healing agent will say and these coaches keep me busy. What is a young promiscuous child looking for love misplace the type of love. It's being administered and I couldn't distinguish between the two and I became. Oh wait there something being given to me and I'm being taken care of now something is doing return and I became the aggressor. If you well and I don't think it was aggressive like let's remember sex at that time was painful but became thinking that young girls mind away of this must be love. Therefore, sex must be part of it and it became this stumbling and what happened in that relationship and who was, that was me aggressing at displacing love for the coach thinking you're my Savior and now I want to put my arms around you because I want to feel safe with you and misplacing that and taking it into a sexual relationship that happened that's what I was getting the book of in the that he you know again he's the adult so you should've known better but you should move in that direction only asked for three and half years.

It was when he left the picture, the acting out returns enter second we started we saw another relationship to soothe the pain as our promiscuity at its best.

I mean no acting out. Yeah, you set together when you were really struggling. Absolutely.

And so that in essence the third relationship also resulted in a pregnancy, take us through the he was very gracious to say third.

I think there were many to count. When promiscuity enters the young woman's life. Promiscuity does not mean the first the second and the third, it means where can I act out relationship work.

I feel loved and it just becomes part of the norm. Part of the tragic know and you know it's important to make the statement because some people.

They haven't had that experience. You know they didn't have the that pole did have those warning powers within the minute I get it. But you know it's amazing. And this is a statement Jesus loves you all and through it all, regardless of the that's the amazing thing and I think we know we can lean into a judgmental attitude. So while Cynthia really mean, how come you could get your head together on this note multiple relationships have an affair with your coach, you brought it on.

Sounds like so the guilt of that it was me being the aggressor in the rebound relationship were looking for that affection again this next man in the department and I mean I'm telling you, I just think it's so important for people to realize you. God's love can extend to you viciously, so keep it going. What happens in that situation and I would even go so far as to say is, it doesn't extend to me he was present with me the whole time while grieving every wrong turn I took an I'd later prayed that out with the Lord, you know PC you can look back as a redeemed woman of God, and you can go wherever you Lord right in the comfort was I was with you your life because I was with you. You're here today because I was with you and so I think as adults we need to look back and say when sexual promiscuity drugs and alcohol.

Enter a young woman site when she's a minor, and she's too young to process it.

She becomes a predictable statistic and she begins acting out. She may have had this affair doesn't mean he was the only one.

And what happens when he meets. She goes off to college. She tries to begin a journey, a new journey and is at 19-year-old freshman in college. Here she is with a boyfriend in college.

Sex is the norm, the habits have been formed. Sex is now the habit of what you do with men you've already been there. You know the sacredness of object to the application of how to the sacredness of it and at 19, drinking, partying the collegiate life can kind of consume you. I entered a second pregnancy and a second termination tragic. I had gone home to Houston. I had met him.

Now I think I'm pregnant. I went to the beach in he mailed me hundred 90 box paid for the abortion but in this particular one. I was so drugged out zoned out just you kind of in your mind just you justify right your mind.

Just as a place where it can make it all okay well I was doing drugs and it probably needed damaged the baby anyway and it was probably you begin to tell you it's probably a miscarriage. It was probably the right thing to do.

Probably the right thing to do is kind of what abortion industry says to the matter what the circumstance young woman yes is always the right thing to do and that's the problem that we have is it's actually not. It's a convenience, and it's a misnomer is a perceived convenience and misnomer neither so Cynthia, I just want to make sure his weekend here on day one, we capture the conversation with your doctor third pregnancy the third abortion your pattern of abuse to yourself and to those children. What did that doctor say so I began acting out think we seen this pattern back in 15 unit 15. It was a coach at 29. It's an employer, whose on the outs with his wife so sad the predictable pattern could have been disrupted and it wasn't and it 29 I have this Guido much EC mile boyfriend of five years and I have this relationship outside of this one with a married man were acting out of course, what are we doing for drinking, sex becomes a part of that enter in third pregnancy and that doctor when you have that third pregnancy, the doctor says what why go to the doctor.

I am now bleeding through the pregnancy and I'm thinking why am I bleeding.

She does a pregnancy test. She says your pregnant. I go into hysterics at the doctor's office.

He'll kill me. At that moment I couldn't carry on and she says she sees my distress and I and she says your bleeding does a blood test.

HCG levels are dropping. She says you're probably miscarrying at that time she walked me into the next office she performs a complete D&C in office in the region suite. I'm clinging to the nurse that's beside me. My hand on my step and she sing relax like you feel the weight of the world and I can't get out of my own way and I might hurry up and she says she holds up a jar visual haunted me for years, since I think we got everything we complete the procedure and I gone come back two weeks later for a checkup is a pelvic exam your pregnant your uterus enlarges when you extract a child from the uterus. Your uterus should drink down.

She says your uterus is still very enlarged. This is where the Holy Spirit was with me and my best darkest moments. As I said I watched this mean she looked me.

She said we probably didn't get everything what is that even mean and my arm went up. I said can I see what's inside of me oddest requests as you don't know what you're asking. At the time she sent me to the hospital for an ultrasound so we could determine what's going on and it was at that time.

The technician is scanning scanning scanning scanning and I might check it out. It's the supervisor.

The supervisor comes back in the supervisor says that baby is moving so quickly we can't get a still image what D&C two weeks ago.

She flips that screen around and you see a little tiny baby, just moving, wiggling, wiggling, and you see a deflated sack on the right side of the screen and I had been carrying twins, 29, bleeding in obedience office. We had terminated between how did the twin survive. Thank God for the armed can I see because medically, we know when we didn't get everything it's retained feel matter what you see on the screen and yet my son survived an abortion procedure.

At this point simply him in the sea were were in the that's on you did give birth to his name is Roman for Romans 828 he stood in the capital of Texas at me and testified that sonogram should be required before abortion law passed on our state in 2011. He is noble and wonderful father of three, himself now. He has twin daughters boreal grandson twin granddaughters.

At that point I had to choose life, Cynthia. This has been so powerful and man I hate to stop at this point in your story, but we have run out of time today so let's come back tomorrow and complete the story.

Tell us more about your son, Roman, and the ways God began to heal the trauma of your past that so important for all of us to hear of for our listeners and viewers. I hope Cynthia story has touched your heart. I know it's touch mine and motivated all of us to get more involved in the pro-life movement helping to bring God's love, truth, and hope to people who really needed in one way you can do that is through our option ultrasound program where we raise funds to equip pregnancy centers to get ultrasound machines and training and all the resources they need to be a compassionate voice and offer practical help to women and girls were facing an unplanned pregnancy, thanks to the generosity of friends like you were getting close to get this 1/2 a million babies saved from abortion through option ultrasound. I'm so proud of that work that's being done and what a blessing that is to these women obviously to their children into the glory of God. We are just so grateful to this is happening, you could be part of it.

You can be part of the option ultrasound program that we've done the research and it's very clear that your gift of $60 saves a baby's life. Through this program, so please consider stepping up and donating on a monthly basis to save a baby a month or if you can a one-time gift.

Either way, when you contribute to the work of Focus on the Family will send a copy of Cynthia's book healed for life numbers 800 K inward family or stop by the show notes for the John.

Let's remind the listeners that if you're struggling. This has brought up emotions for that are difficult contacts or focus on the family reappearing Christian counselors who can talk with you and help you with the referral to a counselor in your area or with other resources certainly pray with you and next steps toward your you give us a call. Let us know how we can help her number again 800 K half of Jim Daly and the entire team here. Thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family I'm John Fuller inviting you back to continue the conversation and once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.

I was convinced that nothing can change what was going on in our marriage and I want to try anymore but my commitment to God, help me try one more time. We went to a hope restored marriage intensive and it was life-changing. Counselors created the safest environment we could imagine so that let us really talk on a much different course now I believe we received a miracle that week received your free consultation. Hope restored.com