Going All Out for Your Wife (Part 2 of 2)

Friends of Focus on the Family and give families help this Christmas with a gift of appreciated stock by donating appreciated stock you create tax savings while turning resources into help for hurting family and you will also receive a tax inaction on the fair market value of your gift. Let our team help you make the most of your giving to learn more visit give families hope.com that give families help.com today on Focus on the Family encouragement for men. Education is what people think you will character is what you are when no one else is around. We need to be made of godly character hear those questions addressed by your speakers before this book is Pres. Jim Daly John John we live in a day and age when technology puts all sorts of temptations. Writer your tips and you don't have to go very far to find them. There are explicit images available on your phone, your laptop or tablet temptation is entered your home.

You don't have to slip in your car and go to the and of the seedy part of town to find these things today. So how do we overcome these enticements Steve for our is going to provide some ideas as he encourages us to be men of integrity, especially as it relates to our marriages and what I love about Steve for our is his positive approach. He wants to equip each of us men with the tools we need to succeed in our marriages and for the guys who have made some mistakes in the past, let me say don't give up the fact that you're interested in doing better is a sign that the Holy Spirit is working in your heart.

So stay tuned.

This message will provide some tools for you to fight these battles that we all struggle with and let me just quickly reintroduce our guest for those who work with us last time Steve for our is a popular speaker and former pastor is the founder of men's leadership ministries and the author of a number of books including point man how a man can lead his family.

On this occasion Dr. for our was speaking to over 50,000 men promise keepers event at the Charlotte motor Speedway in North Carolina and near the end of our last program he shared a great illustration that he'll be referring back to and it's worth hearing again so were roll back to that point and then ease into new material and let me mention will be getting into some sensitive content that will mean you want your children elsewhere. You're going to want to use your earbuds or listen later online with adheres Steve for our today's episode of Focus on the Family is doing everything he knows how to between me and my wife was, how was it that they don't finish it because the you know what to the same woman that I married today and you do to. You may say Steve R America number four you my friend, by the power of the living spirit of Jesus Christ you make this marriage work. You implement the principles along with all four. You see, were talking about keeping commitments in 1519.

Hernando Cortez undertook this responsibility little 11 ships hundreds of men and went to Mexico.

No awaiting him.

But he felt like there was pressure like there was conquest possibilities in Veracruz and the men unloaded their stuff as they were going up the cliffs and making their way and no they did know if there were to be attacked and diseases but is there going up inside.

As they got the guys yelled and suddenly back down the base. Hundreds and hundreds of feet down with a father 11 ships under 11 ships were all going up in flames all morning and there was nothing they could do what happen how to expire.

Cortez is on fire because what he did all the escape route. He made sure those guys were committed because there was no escape. We need to burn one of the ways that we go to first Limited chapter 3 and in that passage, Paul is talking to young Timothy and he's talking to Timothy in first three about to find some leaders for the church and Paul getting some qualifications and he said don't look for guys on the basis of their education.

Look for guys on the basis of their net worth to get Timothy a bunch of character qualifications in first Timothy chapter 3 verse two Paul says an elder or an overseer or spiritual leader must be above reproach. What that means is that ministry is a character profession again. I think it was when all that said, this couple years ago. He said you know you can be as good CPA sleep around and still be a good CPA but you can't be a good ushering sweep around you can be a good Sunday school teacher and sleep around.

You can't be any kind of ministry and sleep around because ministry is a character profession.

The next thing he says is that a spiritual leader must be the husband of one wife. What's interesting to me in different denominations at different interpretations of that whether or not a man with the divorce and background can be a leadership that's not my issue this morning. Why is this when it says that he must be the husband of one wife in the Greek gentlemen in the original language. It literally reads this he must be a one woman kind of man that is so pregnant with meaning for all of us that we are called Steve, I'm not. I don't want to be a deacon in my church.

I don't want to be no, that's fine.

But if you're married to a woman that you love and you love Jesus Christ, you need to be a one woman kind of man, and I think guys are five ways that we do that there are five things that I work on every day of my life to be a one woman kind of man we give these. This is called application number one I'm to be a one woman kind of man with my mind with my thought life Oscar Wilde once said I can resist anything except temptation will Oscar had a problem with the apostle Paul said, Paul said, we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ is a gentleman when temptation comes it comes in the thought life when temptation comes the enemy fires those dark he tries to get us thinking along the wrong path. Some you guys do some traveling as I do was go to Spokane, Washington, nobody knows me in Spokane. I get in and checked into the hotel late the next morning, go down to the coffee shop.

Normally the copy shop. I stopped to get a paper. But that new standard newspapers surrounded by pornographic literature. Why go back to my room and there's a television set on that television set is a card advertising paid movies at least 345 pornographic who would know if I were to grab that pornographic magazine who would know if I were to get the wrong channel and watch the mask itself.

How do you know last night that I was in my room watching pornography because I'm telling you it was available. You don't know what to tell you guys some God knows but my wife doesn't know my kids don't know my son Josh knows as he was with when I'm by myself nobody knows here's the principle reputation is what people think you are.

Character is what you are when no one else is around. We need to be men of godly character that's hard to do if you're struggling with pornography. Let me just bottom line is the thing about it is pornography's insatiable. The more you get, the more you want you can never get your field if you're struggling with pornography, bottom line is for you if you want to get over that. If you want to deal with that. James says this and this is not comfortable. This is what the word of God says. James says, confess your sins one to another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.

If you need a buddy in your life that you can trust that will not tell anyone this in total confidence and maybe your pastor may be different but you need to shoot straight with a buddy telling your problem you need to make yourself accountable. You guys want farms and to respond to the one by the power of God, the enemy, and that habitual sin in your life.

CS Lewis once said, if you look upon him and exit must you've already committed breakfast in your heart.

I love that because that brings me to the second point number two I'm to be a one woman kind of man with my eyes with my eyes and you guys remember group from the 50s called the flamingos they sing a song only had one hit. I believe the song was. I only have eyes for you right song. She bumps about two months about when we stand and sing that together, sing the first of the fourth time this guy was one of the SATA you know what is a great song because here's what the guy says in the song he says of the stars out tonight.

I can't tell if it's cloudy or bright as I only have eyes for you, as is my love is a special kind of blind love. I can't see anyone else but you. She bumps about gentlemen that are to be the theme song of every Christian husband in this stadium. I only have eyes for you. Joe said this in the Old Testament. Job said I made a covenant with my eyes that I will not gaze upon a young woman in less than me ask you something. My friend made a covenant to see that stuff. I know it's tough they will be you driving your car in Sun Valley walking on the street where some she should beware we know what our natural reaction is your natural tendency is our natural tendency is to look into dwelling to continue to look, but listen I need to be a one woman kind of man with my mind and with my eyes when I got to do is what Paul told Timothy he said Timothy discipline yourself for godliness. I got a get control of my eyes.

Gentlemen, so that when I see that gal I got to get on the office.

I gotta take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. What I have to do is go against my natural instinct when President Reagan was shot using the videotape as I have hundreds of times he was coming out of the Hilton DC shots rang out when shots ring out what's the natural reaction you hit the deck.

Everybody did that except two Secret Service agents. The agent behind Mr. Reagan putting down in the limo that other agents standing off to the side earpiece standing there. They played in slow motion shots ring out. He closes his eyes in response. But then he went against his natural reaction and is that turned towards the shot takes a shot. My question is why did that Secret Service agent go against his natural instinct because he disciplined himself and trained himself. We must do the same thing as virtual Reno so that when you see that dower in some she should beware of by the power of Christ within you.

You do what doesn't come naturally by the power of Christ. You steal yourself and you will away. You look the way you look the other way because you're a man of God. This is important stuff guys not too long ago. Well was it was ongoing. I was about four years ago my subscription to Sports Illustrated run out and they were offering this Michael Jordan, Larry Bird video and it was football season. I need to get SI so I called the number and I said yeah I want to do all this and the lady had her spiel and she said yes Mr. for our for the price of this will send you 32 weeks will send you the video will send you the T-shirt will send you the swimsuit edition will yes I said don't send me the swimsuit edition she said what I said don't send me the swimsuit edition. Please be civil so I'm not sure we can do that as a computer. He said you you have a delete key. Yeah you can do it. She said this is highly irregular as I'm sure it but I don't want the swimsuit edition. Please don't send it to me just what they said to me in the mail was on the kitchen counter as I came home the mail was there and on the top Sports Illustrated was some gallon swimsuit unit was interesting.

My daughter Rachel came up to me and she said with a concerned look on her face and she said that you're not to look at that. Are you I said, sweetheart, I'm not going to look at it and you know what Rachel I asked him not to send you know what guys are daughters need to have daddies that will show them the priority of sexual purity in their life. Your boys need to know.

You know, gentlemen.

There little eyes are watching his every day of our lives are and you know your boys. See if you look limitation. We need boys in America who have dad that don't look we need boys America who have dad that they know in their heart. Their dad is thoroughly and totally committed to their mother. If you want your boys and you want your daughters to grow up and have godly marriages and you show them what a godly marriage. Looks like that's our job. Gentlemen were the point man number three I'm to be a one woman kind of man with my lip with my lips.

What that means is simply this. I'm careful what I say to other women. You're a man of God, you're a promise keeper. So let me tell you what that means you don't make sexual innuendos. You're not a floor at the office. You don't tell jokes that you shouldn't be telling your head hurt a guy so you know I shouldn't tell the story will then don't. If you shouldn't tell it, then don't tell John that we need to be pure and clean with our speech. Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth. Number four I'm to be a one woman kind of man with my hands with my hand. What that means is simply this is very easy. I'm careful how I touch other women when I was in seminary. There was a deacon in our church who was also a greeter at the front door and every time a woman, a good-looking woman under 35 and walked in.

He would become anointed, but it wasn't anointed by the Holy Spirit of God.

He was anointed by a wrong spirit and he would these women when he would do is mall them and embarrass them and embarrass his wife and quite frankly, several years later when he ran off with another woman. I wasn't surprised because he never was a one woman kind of man with his hands. Gentlemen, we are to be so clean with our lips with our hands, that if the charge of sexual harassment were ever leveled against us, our coworkers would fall to the ground in hysterical laughter that say not that guy. He's so clean that guy's a one woman kind of man is the last one I'm to be a one woman kind of man with my feet with my feet because somewhere I read flee immorality. You read that yeah flee immorality. Why do you flee you use your feet. I was talking with a young guy in Dallas not long ago, he had a new job. He was about 30 went to Atlanta with his boss on a business trip just for the day's boss was about 50 there with the client was about 50.

He just been on this job a week or two after a full day.

The client said you guys been so great. I want to take you to dinner. Let me take you my favorite place is a great to get this car. They pull up in front of this high-class gentlemen's club topless bar.

They get out. The guy realizes what's going on. He says to his bosses as you. I think I just go back to the hotel's boss is on on I come on, will have a good time is not. I just think I'll go back to the hotel's boss looked him in the eye and says it's very important that you be with us tonight on this meeting.

Jim guy looked at his boss. He said Sir I can't go in there because if I go in there I'm in to violate the valve that I made to my wife on my wedding day and I can't do it. I'm going back to the hotel. Lotta guys wouldn't do that.

They say why guys say you know you might fire me letting fired the Lord Jesus will get you a job my friend, your wife will love you for your kids will thank you for you guys something the Lord Jesus Christ will bless your life beyond belief. I know you will bless me why because the eyes of the Lord will roll about your looking for those whose hearts are fully, that he may strongly support them. Gentlemen with me. Those men, to the glory of our great God. What a powerful ending to a dynamic two-part presentation by Steve for our today's episode of Focus on the Family. He was speaking to a stadium of over 50,000 men at a promise keepers event in Charlotte North Carolina and I appreciate how Steve for our text scriptural principles and updates and for the situations we men face today. But as Solomon said in Ecclesiastes. There's nothing new under the sun is not so true. Sexual temptation has been around for a long time like about as long as humans have been around and always will be, until Jesus returns. You know, whether we like it or not, God made us guys to be visual creatures, even in the Bible, we have the story of Solomon's father, David, gazing lustfully at Bathsheba on her rooftop men are aroused by visual images. Just a glance can lead to a stare and then to lustful thoughts and then wanting to act on those fantasies, but Steve's illustration of Secret Service agents is a perfect example of what can be done.

We can teach ourselves to overcome our predispositions and those agents are trained to override their natural instinct to duck when there is a gunshot and instead to turn toward the sound and put themselves between the shooter and the person they're guarding. So if Secret Service agents can be trained in that way we can also train ourselves to not entertain lustful thoughts. It's not an excuse and Christian men have an advantage there because we can ask the Lord for his strength to do that. The Bible says in first Corinthians 1013 no temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind, and God is faithful.

He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you're tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. That's a promise.

We can all claim in the gym that promise came home to me as a new believer in Christ. Many years ago somebody brought that very same Scripture to me. First Corinthians 1013 he said he ought to memorize that John Metz can help you out in a lot of circumstances. While there's hope in that there is, yes, and I keep going back to it because temptation is in a variety of forms and packages of right of ways. Some guys are listing to hold onto that truth. I hope from first Corinthians and say yeah. God help me not be tempted beyond anything I can endure right now right you know, that reminds me of a story from pastor all Reese of Calvary Chapel Golden Springs in Southern California and I have met roll a couple times, but he is such a powerful speaker and he was speaking at a men's event to a crowd of about 1400 men, and he felt led to start his presentation by saying listen, if you're struggling in the pornography. I could hear him saying it now. I want you to come down to the front of the auditorium and rededicate your life to the Lord and ask him to forgive you of the sin and half of the men about 700 of them got up and walked down and sobbed on that stage and gave that sin over to the Lord and that shows the degree of the problem. Pornography preys on that craving that is so basic to who we are as men, and we need to make a daily effort to flee. Those of us, and control those passions yeah that's so true Jim and for those who are struggling with that right now let me just say for thinking I need help. We have hell. Focus on the Family in addition to this really powerful message from Steve for our we have other resources for you as well, including curing Christian counselors who are safe to talk to.

If you've never shared that part of your life with somebody give us a call will connect you with a like-minded counselor in your local area if that's helpful, you just get in touch will take your name and number and will give you a call back as soon as possible, but we want to be here for you see can bring the light to bear on this part of your life. That's great, John, and those free counseling consultations are just one example of how Focus on the Family is standing in the gap for marriages and providing hope to families are free online marriage assessment tool can help you identify the strengths and yes the weaknesses of your relationship almost 1 million people are taking the assessment since 2016 and we are so grateful to be able to provide those insights and then supply those follow-up resources to strengthen your marriages and for marriages in more serious trouble. We offer our hope restored four day intensive's which have an over 80% success rate when we survey those couples. Two years later, I hope restored is truly an answered prayer for those desperate couples that we can't do this work alone. We need your financial partnership.

Your prayers for this ministry as well. So please donate today. Pray for us today and when you give will say thank you by sending you a CD of this entire message from Steve for our for a donation of any amount you can reach us when you call 800 the letter a in the word family 800-232-6459 or request your CD of Steve's message to share with a friend. All the details are in the show notes and when you're online with us.

Be sure to look for a link to a podcast hosted by Dr. Greg and Aaron Smalley hear from Focus on the Family.

It's a six episode series called no porn marriage and you can learn about the impact of pornography on our culture and honor marriages and how to rebuild trust in your relationship. If you struggled with for a great weekend sure to join us on Monday as we hear from burnt shall be explaining how abiding in Christ can improve your walk as a believer. Benefits to buying. Certainly we get that connection that love that relationship with Christ himself to become people who can make a difference in our world because he are the branches that bear the fruit that dispenses blessing information in the lives of the people in behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team.

Thanks for joining us today for this Focus on the Family podcast take a moment please give a rating for the show easier for others to find this great content tell a friend a listening next time with you and I will thank you in advance for doing I'm John Fuller inviting you back. As we once were, help you and your family thrive in Christ. I was shocked when she gave me the divorce papers. I was so time I reached my breaking point.

I was desperate for a shred of hope. So I called the hope restored team. It Focus on the Family they they listen to me and they asked about what was happening in my marriage. They encouraged me and my wife to attend one of their marriage intensive's for couples in crisis and they prayed with us. They help me believe that my marriage could be saved agreed to go but was skeptical that anything can help us but the whole environment was so safe and nonjudgmental, high-tech and open up as we worked with the counselors. Both of us still have work to do in her marriage but for the first time in a long time we have hope again Focus on the Family's hope restored marriage intensive program has helped thousands of couples who thought that their marriage went over find out which program is right for you and hope restored.com