Finding God's Healing for Sexual Brokenness (Part 2 of 2)

Today on Focus on the Family pastor Sy Rogers continues her presentation about pursuing sexual purity and harnessing our basic human biology. Just because there's a predisposition. What was it GK Chesterton and CS Lewis said very well about mother nature, giving you a predisposition hundred years ago they said this just because mother nature gives you a predisposition doesn't make it natural nor normal to indulge because mother nature is not your mother. She's your corrupted pollen sister you'll hear more from pastor side today in a presentation that is designed for a mature audience in your hostess Focus on the Family president Jim Daly I'm John Fuller. John, as we heard last time Sy Rogers suffered a lot of trauma by the age of six and was sent to live with female relatives after his mom was killed in a car accident. Up until that time he had been repeatedly molested by a trusted male in his mom's life and he fully embrace the homosexual lifestyle as a teenager. He even considered gender reassignment surgery and lived as a woman for almost 2 years, but eventually side discovered that God wanted to be his heavenly father.

The father he'd always wanted and he embraced the sold-out life for Jesus Christ. Sy married his wife Karen in 1982 and they have one daughter he served for many years as a teaching pastor with life church in Auckland New Zealand. Sadly he died. Just last year at the age of 63 from kidney cancer and our hearts go out to his family. I'm sure he's missed. Let me know they were picking up size message as he explains why it's so important for parents to push back against the cultural messages that our children are exposed to, especially regarding sexual intimacy. Now with that background. If you have kids in the room. Use your earbuds or listen later and here now is Sy Rogers at a devoted conference that was held at wave church in Virginia Beach.

Today's episode of Focus on the Family wants to upgrade the conversation today. My daughter came home from school, high school books down on the dining table. I was in the kitchen cutting something up. Then she says so what about masturbation daddy.

I put the knife down. I said to her, as all fathers do in a moment like this. Go talk to your mom.

Actually, I talked with her and her mom talk with her. But here's the deal. I'm hardly a perfect day.

I just hope my daughter doesn't like daddy dearest one day but I thought like I had done my job because I would never talk to my parents let my culture tell me what my peer group. Tell me. I knew my daughter she had better sex ed curriculum and school said that now she wanted my opinion to discern through the voices.

That's why maintaining the bond even if they roll their eyes is better than dictating this when you break the awkward barrier it says hey I love you enough to give this a try. So I have to learn to discern the voices and that means what is Romans 12. You been listening to. Don't copy the pattern of your pagan culture adopted you into God culture copy this path of wisdom. As you know, frankly, not living out God sexual advice and its explicit and direct over 30 standards, not because God loves rules. He loves people and you don't have to be a Christian or a rocket scientist to recognize that mismanaged sexuality brings terrible consequences.

All 50 years ago, the sexual revolution brought us all a lot of casual sex, but it also brought a lot of sexual casualties and God doesn't love standards. He loves people. But thank God he is a history of redeeming sex and he redeems everything we give to him that abuse that abortion that label that boundary crossing those feelings and attractions. He redeems everything we give him that we can walk in health, wisdom and freedom I so just starting so I don't copy those things that means I could see what the things are.

The world is saying and then find out what is God saying to discern truth from a lie healthy from unhealthy wisdom from folly beneficial from detrimental. I have to make those assessments every day.

In a world of many voices calling my name wanting my mind my loyalty and my money I have to hear the voice of the shepherd and Jesus says my sheep learn to discern it. So start to practice now you're made to succeed and hearing him and Cypress judges don't believe everything everybody tells you don't believe that post get the rest of the story from that article and don't just let your hairdresser tell you what your truth is I don't just allow your friend or your cousin to tell you what you should think about this thing. Instead, discern the spirits don't just listen to the Teleprompter reader on the news show. Instead, what is God saying what's this path of wisdom telling you discern it in June.

Verse four. Beware of people who teach you the grace of God let you do what you want sexually. Grace gives you room to grow. You license to do what you want and therefore you know I look at a two-year-old and I cannot expect a two-year-old act like a 45-year-old I give you grace.

They can help me understand the poopy diapers and 15 they can't help they approved Beatitudes. But when you're 45 and acting like a self-indulgent boundaryless through your old then there will be trouble, not grace.

Then we got biology. Good heavens wouldn't start we got a set up with Dennis. It's not our fault. And we are not assigning blame. Certainly, God is not. We have the impact of biology upon sexuality and relationship and sexuality is a struggle because our biology sets us up, not our fault that we have to reckon with it so we have a DNA code and there can be some predisposition within a stored sex just because there's a predisposition.

What was it GK Chesterton and CS Lewis said very well about mother nature, giving you a predisposition hundred years ago they said this just because mother nature gives you a predisposition doesn't make it natural nor normal to indulge because mother nature is not your mother.

She's your corrupted fallen sister hormones coursing through my veins of this manual.

Hormone these these hormones between the ages of 12 to 17 sex hormones increase 600%. I know would try to get a meaningful education during all of that, these hormones make you feel sexual but not release these hormones from your glands are not released from 12 to 17 in a nice little IV drip daily dosage for convenient management but the released and waved his rhythms and some days your hormonal type is low when you don't feel any sexual pressure you think I've been delivered from that demon of lust and then proceed to cast out all the demons you want. You cannot cast out your hormones and so two weeks later the urge to merge begins to surging your thank you so much. Anyway, I'm so glad you could relate but anyway urge to merge begins to surging you feel like a werewolf and people will cry out, try out, and some purity messenger and some young adult group at the altar. Lust got a take away these feelings taken away got I don't want to append you. I think I would say no do you have it wrong. I take away guilt not humanity and by my divine design you are laced with hormones that make you feel sexual and I don't take that away. I give you grace overhearing guidelines over here and in the middle. You will learn to grow up and become a responsible steward for what you think and feel.

I will be with you to help you walk in freedom culture that says that I have to be true to my feelings to be authentic.

Now, dear, nowhere in the word of God does God suggest you be true to your feelings. He suggest you be true to him in spite of your feelings we all have feelings and integrity, and purity are not the absence of feelings, how we manage them so you can own it. It's good mental health to admit you're attracted but attractions proved to be temporary unless you keep reinforcing and indulging. That's what we pick up across that's why we crucify flash that's why we say no to this. To say yes to this and that's why we become responsible stewards of mind and body. He doesn't take it away. We learn to bow down and obey. But that may take practice and that's okay were not earning love or not earning salvation were learning to grow up as responsible stewards for what we think and feel and do agree this for our success and so's I don't offer the parts of your body as instruments of unrighteousness like you used to. And the real members here that are sexual or not. My private parts. It's probably my imagination. The last Bastian to surrender that you know that old song I surrender all, should be retitled. I surrender incrementally at best. But God will take up using it for the long haul and then first Corinthians chapter 16 psych your body belongs to me.

You claim my name. I claim your body for my dwelling place. Therefore, he goes on to say, do not misuse it sexually becomes incumbent upon me to find out what is God's definition of misusing my body sexually. Now that I think about my culture thinks my culture changes its opinion all the time that God's got a transcendent truth of wisdom that I want on it. It will benefit me I will not hurt you I will walk forward in a greater freedom that if I bow down to my flesh. You are the temple of the Holy Spirit.

And finally, Ephesians 4.

Put off your old corrupted Cel-Sci. The inferences are not judging you that you have a corrupted self or just owning the truth put it off and then in its place. Put on the new and better way. You see part of this problem that keeps us struggling and limits our freedom is because we have trained our brains toward bedforms of pleasure. The brain loves pleasure.

God made it that way. You like chocolate even if you never read it again. Your brain will never forget you loved it and given a chance she would return to it because your brain loves pleasure, and sex is very pleasurable, both physically and emotionally and so your brain doesn't care if you were naughty before Christ, sleeping around and crossing boundaries your brain only recognizes that brought me pleasure and so now that you're wanting to walk seriously with God.

You know, morally, you ought not to do it, but the want to do it remains in your brain, and this creates a conflict called the war with the flesh, but not this flesh. The problem is the pattern in your brain, because the blood of Jesus washes away guilt not chemically reinforced patterns. But if I can train my brain in ways that are self-defeating. I can retrain that brain in ways that work in my favor and take me down a path of freedom so it's not like this. If I build a freeway that takes me to a self-defeating destination that freeway will never be dismantled in my brain but I can taken off ramp called however and not arrive there but arrive at another location like this, I'm so mad I can slap your face off. However, the Bible says not to give full vent to my anger that might even be more regrettable than being mad right now so I'm a calm down will have a chat, talk to my lawyer or I'm so scared. I don't know what to do. I feel overwhelmed.

However, God is with me.

He will help me and he puts skin to call a friend to get some reality check. Churches are not receiving this very well. I may be afraid.

However, I can reckon with it instead of reckoning with or all those years of theater finally paid off. I'm so lonely and so horny I really really hate this feeling.

However, I am not going to go to the bar and get drunk and hookup, that will make me feel worse call God, talk to him and to get a reminder that he loves me. Then I call my accountability partner you arrive at a better place and not be exploited. That is how you put the old by putting on the new phone. However I get to own one's give it with the bigger, better truth, not too late to retrain that after Sy Rogers today on Focus on the Family and we have a CD of this entire presentation parts yesterday and today making it available to you as you donate to the work of Focus on the Family make a monthly pledge or one-time gift of any amount when you call 800 K in the word for 800-232-6459 or you can contribute to the ministry and request that CD, follow the link in the episode's let's go ahead now more pastor Sy Rogers came to me one time the married man who said pastor Sy's adultery always wrong. I said, you're not wanting to be philosophical are you I said what happen he said well you know my wife and I don't love each other anymore, but my secretary and I just have this anointed connection and were in a relationship and I wanted to know your thinking. That is adultery, always wrong and I said well you know God fair enough. Sometimes we have to chew through the word to Kenneth get to what God is saying, but I thought he was clear on this one. It's like in the 10 Commandments don't do that and there's no*at the end of the command saying adultery may be permitted under the circumstances. Now look at you and I would agree. I don't three is no laughing matter because it hurts people.

That's why God has parameters around our feelings and our sexuality because he doesn't want us to hurt ourselves and other people, but you know, at the same time I have seen marriages burn to the ground that it been restored out of adultery because God can redeem everything we give him and even if the marriage doesn't survive the individuals involved can be plucked from the fire and they can be recalibrated with newer healthier foundations and they can grow forwarding God's redemption because he redeems everything we get him. He writes redemption over mistakes.

King David Samson sexual misadventure anointing and appointing did not stop them but they came to their senses returned to the father who restored anointing at appointing speaking to us in the 21st century that God's ability to redeem our mistakes and misadventures is bigger than our ability to make them so always run back to him that that brings us to this idea about dealing with the devil. The real issue here. I said to this man I wish you just tell me the truth back to the matter is you're willing to trade away the life you've lived in you and your marriage because your heart and your flesh want this other woman. That's the truth.

But when you're trying to rationalize it.

I'm concerned because when you're saying, did God really say I can't have it. You're harkening back to a voice in the garden, the got the mess started, so there's nothing wrong with using your good critical thinking skills to find out if what God said is true that when you're wanting to rationalize is a God of love going to deny me something so satisfying and loving and of love is loving God is love, and how could this be boundary crossing and so you got to be careful who you listening to and that's why God invites us into a posture of submission. It is not a one-off event when we get saved.

That is the beginning of an initiated posture of bowing to him instead of other things. So I'm not bowing to the voice of the devil to lacerate me with the words of the bully that make me feel inadequate and inferior because they may call my neighbor. God calls my name and I'm bowing to his words of like I no longer bowing to the idea of a dysfunctional family trying to put qualifications about me so that I'll ever measure up, because you know adequate enough. Instead, God has given me a different standard. And he is backing me with his love and I'm bowing to him. When Satan calls my name in that dark garden. I am reminded of Jesus.

It was the second Adam in the second garden called Gethsemane. The first Adam failed in the first garden but Jesus was under the pressure of his life, not to bow down. He did not say in that garden. Hallelujah, I'm about to be crucified and tortured for these things I did not do. That's the will of God, bring it on. He said, get me out of this. I don't want my flesh to be persecuted with any change the history of the universe of your life and mine, when he said in spite of what my flesh wants in spite of my fear in spite of wanting to indulge my own interest. I'm going to bow to God's interests you and I are in the room because Jesus submitted to God and he did not want to less dramatic way.

I am not the Christ. But I am his follower and there been times when Satan is put a target on my back, don't you think.

Don't you think you'd like to trip me up. Don't you think you'd like to rub my face and all of that failure so that he can cite half as good. My critics, but instead there been those times under pressure and that I have a 37-year-old marriage.

I am a daddy and granddaddy and I have a global ministry because in spite of my flesh and all of its vulnerability to me the path of freedom and the key that unlocks the door of freedom was bowing down to God in my own dark garden but I didn't want to say no to this enables me to be here saying yes to you saw you walk by the Spirit you will been therefore not satisfy the cravings of your flesh walk in freedom you may have cravings but if you submit to me and my word, then you will walk above it. In other words, don't just try to stop it.

That's not your goal. Your goal isn't the negative.

It's the positive.

If I'm walking with God, then I am fulfilling the path to freedom and I can say no to it. Finally, there is a finally here. I find the biggest reason why people struggle sexually is because of history they have been starved of love and the hungry.

They're hungry to be life and many times people have been wounded.

Can I tell you that when I came to Christ.

I walked away from the only bread I had ever known and I don't know you think I'm a strong cup of coffee today. You should've been in the skin of the men and women in that church.

40 years ago and they would've felt inadequate to know what to do, but they love me well and especially the men in my church. My problem was and the girls understood masculine attraction to the feminine. But before boys grow up into men who have the capacity to rightly love women.

They have to bond with their own gender to properly form secure identity and I had missed out one childhood robbed me, I now had a new father in a new family with a new opportunity to have the blank spots feel that I could grow forward. That's why it's relationships that save you. It isn't going to be rules and rituals. It's going to be raising relationship God and God was skin on this communion and this communion Jesus paid a high price that I could feed my need with the good bread and so the men in my church. They help me.

They hugged me they love me. They talk to me. They took me to the men's camp demonstrate women's Bible study in the men's breakfast and they proved to me. I had value to them and it did not have to include exploitation and it changed my life. Finally they healing of the soul. God knows how it took God 10 years before he put his finger on the issue of my childhood sex abuse. I finally grew to a point of maturity stability without addressing could be productive and I went to a therapist and he help me walk through like God was skin on.

I had the support of friends and family colleagues to, but I had a professional help me map out the way forward that I could walk in freedom today and one day the Holy Spirit, said to me, your daddy sees this in your daddy sorry and he wept and broke over what had been taken from me. You know why that matters ladies out of a billion things God could've said or thought to do. I had never known that my suffering mattered to anybody.

My God, let me know. It mattered to him because I mattered to him that was more powerful than being wounded was being wanted, and given justice before him, and he wept over me and no one had ever wept over me.

He didn't take away my history to make it painless. Instead, he entered into my pain and carried it with me forward up and out of the ditch of distrust and there he turned the wound not just into a thing that had crippled my ability. Love and trust, and he allowed me not just to survive it. Then I began to heal and then I began to thrive and he turned the wound into a great big wellspring for a global ministry that makes the devil pay for ever having conspired to rip me off, and he will let you walk them out. Freedom he says in Psalm 107 I satisfy your craving the right way and in Ecclesiastes chapter 8 is going to happen for you that healing. But the wise will understand there's a time and a purpose for everything, even if right now it seems to weigh heavily upon you. That's not the permanent condition. God will lead you in freedom his way and time. So on that note, I will conclude but I will conclude this in LA I was doing a message and we had a time for questions and answers and people wrote their questions down on paper with like a writing instrument and the question filtered its way up to me and this is the beautiful thing in the question, he said, your pastor, sigh.

I grew up in a Christian family, but I did not want the faith of my parents and I thought I knew what would make me happy so I wandered away from faith, but now these years later I find myself in a very dark place, but what you tell me to do.

I thought about it and I said to him like an instinctive reaction as a daddy. I said I know what I'd say if you were my kid, I would say come home. We can figure all this other stuff out in due course. But first, once you come home because that's the path of freedom. This is the path of what it means to be a believer you going to depend on God to bring you through your to discern his voice above all the others to learn to grow up and possess your mind and body responsibly. You will walk out of the freedom for submission to camp instead of submitting to other things and therefore you will find greater connection and communion from him and with God was skin on in the family abatement that will bring you through. In spite of all the risks out there and the vulnerabilities in here that will be the path of freedom for you.

At least that's what's worked for me. It's been my pleasure to invest it. Let's pray Lord Jesus, thank you for your faithful love to us.

Thank you that you understand that you have compassion on us and that you were bigger than any vulnerability or we is present in our lives. You would rather have us mess even not at all, and you won't leave us missing you are going to walk us escort us and live in us and take us as the good Shepherd to the destination of greater freedom for getting even this conference and will work with the rest of the lives of these women in Jesus name, amen. Pastor Cy Rogers has been addressed the last couple of episodes of Focus on the Family Roger pastor site is really a great example of how the Lord can change a life or molest a child to promiscuous homosexual to a forty-year ministry providing hope to those who struggle with their sexuality.

Cy Rogers really made an impact on this world and let me remind you, so I talked about seeing a therapist to address his early abuse that such an important step toward healing and if you are in a similar situation. Please give us a call one of our wonderful counselors would count it a privilege to spend time with you on the phone and even refer you to a like-minded Christian counselor right in your area and we have so much help is just a phone call away 800 K in the word family 802 326-4590 when you call just request a call back from one of those counselors. You can also reach out online will have the details in the show notes.

Pastor Cy also addressed adultery and how marriages can be saved in spite of that terrible situation. So if that's your story. Please let us help you.

You can talk to one of our counselors and would also strongly recommend our hope restored four day intensive's which have an 80% post to your success rate. Here's a note we received from Sonya.

She said I have been so blessed by Focus on the Family. My husband and I were at the end of our rope but we attended hope restored and it was a wonderful experience. We received a scholarship to attend and I'd like to donate today because our marriage is better than ever. Thank you to the donors who make hope restored possible. I love hearing stories like the gym and of course they happen every week it seems folks whose lives were changed by hope restored well and I want to amplify what she said there so accurately that it's the donors that make that happen. That's so true.

But to keep going. We need your help. Please consider making a monthly pledge to Focus on the Family.

It doesn't have to be a large amount. It's the consistency that really helps us month to month and when you make a pledge of any amount I'd like to send you the CD of this two-part presentation from Cy Rogers as our way of saying thank you and if you can't make a monthly pledge. We understand that we can also send you the CD for a one-time gift of any amount.

The bottom line is join us in ministry today and you can do that when you call 800 K in the word family or follow the link in the show notes and request that CD when you coming up next time on Focus on the Family and offer help for parents. When your child is still in so if fear is the primary emotion my kids right then I think I'm missing an opportunity to chemistry God loved missing an opportunity to show them the gospel, on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team. Thanks for joining us today for this Focus on the Family podcast if you would please leave a rating and comment that helps others find these podcasts and then sure about this episode with a friend, I'm John Fuller inviting you back once more help you and your family thrive in Christ. Christmas memories making sharing stories with your family. That's typically been playing from Focus on the Family titled family traditions this story and paint by artist Morgan was of a lively family kitchen scene will find a special place in your home and find out how to get a signed version of the special edition print and focusonthefamily.com/family traditions. That's focusonthefamily.com/family traditions