Teaching Children to Celebrate Racial and Cultural Diversity

Taken mark their lines and even their trombone to let them forget their Bible. There is a bring your bike across the nation and encourage your kids to carry their mind and empower them with Joshua 19 them to let God's word honored held and heard and never forgotten your voice heard. Sign up for your Bible. I look for culture everywhere because I celebrate all cultures because I'm such a mixture of them. Yes, I have purposefully set out to engage with other cultures simply by learning a new link which God has given many opportunities to engage with different cultures than me, including my own family who adopted the black girl. My family's way to fellowship and work with all completely different. I've left it.

I love asking questions and have people telling me stories about how they grew up, and how might be different. Some really good ideas for yourself and your family about looking through a lens that sees a wonderful variety of culture and racism ethnicities that we can see and experience our world today.

I'm John Fuller Jim Daly is out today so I'll be carrying the load here. I think it's fair to say to her guests that we've made some really good strides generally is a culture and across the world toward equality and having more pluralistic society and we value and engage in positive ways with those who were different from us. There is at the same time still some work to be done right. We have a lot of work to do in addressing some of the serious problems that still exist many Christian families are doing as well there embracing diversity either living out the biblical mandate to love and serve and treat others with respect and with no regard to who they are where they came from or what they look like we in the Christian community can be leaders in this we have a biblical mandate will get into that as we as we continue the conversation to take the gospel to all tribes all nations, all tongues all peoples, so we've invited a couple of great guests to help us think through and apply some of these biblical truths we have doctored anywhere. He's a colleague here and focus the head of our parenting and youth department here at Focus on the Family and is a psychologist and licensed clinical social worker he's got a private practice in Colorado here since 2003 and truly a new bill is joining us for the first time today. She is an author, speaker, blogger, editor, and today we discussed what the book she wrote in its it's different for us.

We don't do lots of kids books, but I think the way that you approach this topic can be a great conversation starter for families to discuss what we talk about today.

So the book is called creative God colorful us and discuss really nice paintings in it and it's really good fun stuff get your copy from us here at Focus on the Family. Just click the link in the episode notes or call 800 the letter a in the word family will Danny tell you thanks so much for being here today. Thanks for having us in the limitation so let's just throw this out on the table either one of you or both. You can address this feels to me just from observation that a lot of kids are prejudiced, they just hang out and play with other kids. They see other kids. Somewhere along the way. Though the culture war family impact affects how they see people and they get uncomfortable with people that are like me what you think about that. This developmentally normal where there's an us versus them right.

They don't know the other child in sports, we naturally see the other team is the enemy, rather than their kids are playing a sport with us and competitiveness leads to some of that naturally and then as you as the agent of culture that naturally struggles with this worldwide. They begin to step into those sometimes out of fear competitiveness out of scarcity as a resource I want and there's two of us and I'm in the dominant group and so now you become an enemy right and so there natural things in the environment that sometimes cause a child to begin to develop this internal anything. The address I would also it's learned so there are if you're talking about prejudice and racism in any kind of negative window looking at someone watching the way their parents speak about other people. The way their community response to people believe that children notice is different, since very early. My husband is white I am African-American and when we look at when my son was about to, he started to recognize that mommy and daddy look different and he called himself peach cottage that peach because he is either skinny called me Brown and so he was a peach brown trying to relate the world out notice differences when they put that negative aspect or date their same nature or some of that is natural as he is so eloquently said in other parts of southern looking responding to make their parents or the people around them doing well. So let's go to that that awkward moment when you're in the store with your kids in there like mommy or daddy why is that person and fill the blank and they say it loud enough for everybody nearby to hear it. How do you lean into that moment and not shame the child for asking a question. Born out of curiosity, how do you explain that it's interesting the brain naturally prejudges because it needs shortcuts otherwise it takes too long to think about things and so teaching our kids that is not a wrong mechanism but understanding what the questions about there's no shame in that question that persons different. That's true.

Hey, let's look at those differences and celebrate that which is different than what makes you feel comfortable with that.

What what's great about that and it doesn't always have to be negative in the prejudices of prejudging we have to figure out are we judging out of a pure heart or out of a heart that is prideful and so if it's prejudging with humility.

What is that mean because our brain naturally does that and so that that can be a whole conversation itself. There really love that answer, and I'm so glad he said it hundred percent accurate difference is wrong when we gone where we've gone wrong and can be celebrated can be enjoyed and so if your child points out a difference. You can acknowledge it have a dot on their forehead. We go home looking up. Maybe we learn where they could be from what is culture about different response in point because the wrong difference. Is there something negative about it and you shouldn't pointed out, acknowledge difference and so I really do believe that if we can as parents or as adults respond better it will help ignite a curiosity in our kids and help them understand that it's not wrong to ask questions if a person is offended, we can't control that we can control conversation with their kids and in that moment. If a child that's innocent asked that question in my lifetime. The parents are reacting to the potential fence on the phone at some we can't control but we can certainly respond are child and lean into the teaching moment. This is truly was appreciate that. So let's look at this matter of diversity through the lens of an adult who says one colorblind to see people is that good way to approach this sensitive matter of differences, cultural and ethnic differences are what would you recommend truly I would say no that you're not colorblind unless you really are colorblind. If you're what people actually are trying to say is I'm not racist. Why don't see color, but you do you recognize when I came into this room that I have dark skin. Good thing it's an okay thing. Why, because God is created me that way. I'm created to reflect God in the way that I speak and think in acting to hopefully glorify him in what I do so creatively. He thought of meeting me in my mother's womb.

We say those things all the time. Well it applies to cultural differences as well, so you should not be colorblind. I often say you should be color smart appreciate that part of the book, so go ahead and explain what you mean by that. Yes. So what I mean is that you get to know people get to understand first inform us that what the Scriptures say about culture and diversity of people we've already we started this program thinking about we are to go and make disciples of all nations so there's this beautiful mandate in the Scriptures already, so about what the Scriptures say, but also that we can support really loving our neighbor to get to know them and to understand and grow in our understanding of culture and people.

And so we don't have to pretend like they don't exist.

That's actually what we can instead pressed into that and get to know people. So we'll that's what I mean by color smart understand history understand culture understand people ask good questions and understand what the Bible says about different let's go ahead and reference that little bit. The great commission. There a lot of verses in Scripture. Why do we look to the Bible as our guide when it comes to what culturally can be a pretty sensitive or even divisive conversation whether the Scripture talks about about one another. It's all throughout Scripture doesn't say one another just with these few people it's one another with everyone love one another and encourage one another and exhort one another, teach one another. Everyone has something to offer and then Ephesians 210 is my favorite.

There were all God's workmanship is masterpiece created for great things in Christ Jesus were created for Christ Jesus and all of us different races, colors, cultures, even homes have their own cultures or ministers. God is a creative God, they created different flowers different animals different plants different people and thus the richness of this creativity and it creates a color and a richness to our experience together as humans.

I appreciate that. Truly, while I'm just like you mentioned in Ephesians 2 because these 213 10 possible possible gospel. We are united to God. He is brought us to himself. When you go to Ephesians 11 to the end, we see that the valve hostility has been broken down in the body of Jesus Christ, making one new man brought together so we see this beautiful picture of God uniting us to himself into one another. All throughout Scripture from Genesis 1 all the way to Ramallah I was going to say there is God's created begins in Genesis, we have the, the and in human terms.

In Revelation, all woven through that is the celebration of different units interesting as Jesus and Paul challenge the church on things similar to what were Hamilton were trying to handle in our culture today, which is division and Paul talked about unity over and over again in the church in unity together different cultures different races in Jesus challenge the culture of his time was go ahead and hear a little bit of your story because you were born here in the states. I wasn't so sure sure about that experience and what I remember the day that my mom had told me you need to learn English. We may go to America some dishes from United States, Modesto, Mexico.

I was born in Mexico City I soon will you live in Mexico City forever and she said you need to say goodbye to your your friends were moving to America in the panic button, said that I didn't realize was it happen there. We ended up in in Colorado Springs because Jim Irwin had talked her family and in our family wanted to Christian education for Ross's kids in.

As I arrived I the teacher thought I was a deaf mute in the classroom. I was 8 1/2 and my mom was a teacher. She got a teaching job as a kindergarten teacher at school and they didn't have an ESL program and they in the teachers lounge. The teacher can my mom after a month and said I think your son is you have to go to special school I think is a deaf mute and I was what I was doing as I was drawing all over my sheets of paper. I do know was going and your pretty stressed out I was stress. I ended up actually with warts on my fingers just anxiety was there.

I didn't know was going on at night. I was very connected in Mexico and here I didn't feel connected at all, but it in the lunch room. I got to sit was a girl from India girl that was left-handed and then a boy that stuttered he slowed everything down for me so I second really understand. So his gift. Yes I love Carl was his name and I got invited to play some sports with the kids up in the during the lunchtime. That's right started to feel a sense of connected so the kids invited you. They did play that's a great spiritual year on the schoolyard. You look for the wind and he's good.

So your family of origin, truly because it was not totally rosy picture. Well I in a really loving home.

I went to a Christian home and my father experienced a lot of racism growing up in Tennessee and to being beat once. Yes, so he taught. However, to love and forgive and it was really an interesting upbringing.

Because of that because he experienced such deep racism and that so that racism turned into physical expressions that relate toward your dad because he was black is wacky yes yes he passed away when I was 19, so am yes and so it really informed us. However, because we we learned a lot about history quick and we I experienced some pretty overt racism had brick thrown out the window at me once and called the in word and in so it was something that I had to learn okay what how my response to this. What is that going to do for me. It didn't make sense because I love people I continue to love people I love people even as a unbeliever I had there was because were made in the image of God he gave me a love for people and so didn't understand why someone would hate me just because of the skull color my dwelling you learned forgiveness from your dad. So how does he grasp the importance of forgiving those who were actively demonstrating hatred toward you know I wish I could ask him to grasp that dad because I would just say I imagine it was also his parents who grew up in the South also were learn to live in some harsh and segregated South environment and there is something about the last generation that is enduring. They endured through suffering. They understood trials that I think phoned him, informed us and so we've learned to endure into. Also, I think understood understand people, even though again I can't say that was a Christian, but to understand that people are sinful, so fast forward to you became a Christian right, and if I'm not mistaken you attended predominantly white church yes tell us about that experience so the girl who shared the gospel with me.

She share the gospel at 19. It took him few years before I submitted my life to the Lord. So I was 22 I just went to her church, she said the gospel with winter church and and I remember the day that I heard you know the him rock of ages, wasabi Savior, or I'll die. And at that moment I was saved in the Lord. He well he changed everything about me. So things that he changes. I always had this something in me about justice seen something in me about the right and wrong and on this particular topic started opening the word of God, and I realize all this from him, and he desires unity and he desires us to love each other and to die to self and so it was Saturday, so encouraging but that attorney really was just God's faithfulness. He drew me to himself. I was not looking in any way develop good friendships in the church obviously had laid a foundation, the community, despite you being different than most the people in the church absolutely welcomes you and supporting you slowly actually reminds me of Danny story except for I was 22 I have friends and so I started doing accountability with a white female from the Chicago area and a Chinese gal from Nashville and we did accountability for many years and the board had prayed for diversity in the church because it is slowly being one of the only, though there were families, so the Lord gave me friends and family and sisters, and that is what God did for me and Danny going back to kind of the immersion in US culture here from your days growing up in Mexico then you got married and you gave the gift of culture clash to well it's like when I moved from the upper Midwest out of Texas. There was a culture clash there so describe a little bit of what Heather had the first two years were rough in our marriage.

She had to seek out counseling from about because my family wanted us to be with them all the time every Sunday would be ideal for selecting away as you family is more private than my family was overwhelming to her family has put it that way very lucky know I remember growing up we always had somebody coming to our house for dinner. I thought my parents house on the overview table.

They just with their very hospitable, very involved in missions and so they assume once you get married more people we vetted you know of a spouse in the and our daughter loves in the Camorra house every Sunday.

Try to put some boundaries there that we are forming our family culture now and I had to do that.

Take my wife and account and for us to begin to develop what rhythm was going to be like that or your family enough for her in your extended family run just because it's cultural doesn't make it right. It just means that's the culture that you grew up with.

Now you need to figure out how does this work for a relationship because we assume that just because it's cultural makes it gospel or yeah that's what I have to follow the sense of loyalty to now you have to figure out. Now I have to just another person that is loving now, you create a new culture got together appreciate that Danny and Troy as we come turn the corner toward the last portion of the broadcast. Let's go ahead and unpack some practical things for parents. Some of the things in the book so how do we press through and helper kids grab onto the beauty and wonder of God given diversity so thickly preach the word so that is practical though all of it. And so for our family that's been really important is that were grounded in the gospel but we understand all of the text we understand Jesus and the Samaritan woman. We understand what's going on in the Bible.

And so that's one practical step when regarding church for us. We pray for diversity. We have sought out church that is slightly more diverse. I live in Tennessee so you know it's probably white and so we have to be pretty intentional. So were not in a church that is like super multiethnic, but Christie and so that something that was important to us to practically look for but not everyone has that and so I think that's why it's so important that you're preaching the Bible so that when someone comes in who is of another ethnicity or culture. You're bent towards love very bent towards what the Scriptures say towards a welcome and not favoritism, is it safe to say our kids are watching us for the cues okay absolutely I think so also think that kids, especially these days they're going to touch the cultures that are different than them probably even more frequently. I don't know. I don't know if that's been our experience because we live in a natural area and yet my son is in school with someone is German and French and Indian MNEs sets all over which experiences much and so I felt like I don't know if there's something that's changed or if it's just that I was from Tennessee but they are seeing more cultures and diversity themselves.

But I do think that inviting back in opening that up, especially as it comes to church is really important and then I know you're probably gonna turn the corner to in the home, but I believe that's of utmost importance, because if you're mean this is like with everything right.

We don't want it just to be on Sunday mornings so we we want the way that where living in talking about people to be throughout the week and so for us it's also been very important that we introduce different cultures and tradition of doing cooking from around the world, yet so we cooked the nation so they were young we would I would have them look at a map and decide what what country or continent or where. Where should we cooked through and we we do that, and it's been such a fun time and on Black history month. We talk through the whole month we cooked or something and then we go through different talk about history and culture and and so not honestly, not just February. We do throughout the year and opened up the world for my kid. My son was is learning German and Cherokee and is just as this interests that's it. How God is made them also think we've invested we've helped open that door from a professional perspective and with your heart is a bad talk to the parents were listening, thinking well I guess I have some work to do but I don't know where to start. By the way our home.

They only mimic the good things and never know what all of it you so with my kids just in our home in really in my practice.

We talked about self-awareness and developing that discipline that skill we all have stereotypes of some form or another.

If you really don't have the racial stereotypes of prejudice, sometimes discrimination will own and we need to own it, the more were in the life, the more we see our own son, Paul learned and so being able to be open to the and his parents were begins is we begin to teach character traits are gonna naturally lead to loving other people. The most foundational one being humility, make that a center of your home, kindness, compassion, humility, empathy these things that are central to the development of a child. This can be loving down the road to people that are different than it really begins with humility in Scripture tells us that very clearly and that's where you can begin it doesn't have to be complex with racism, and in those tough topics start early with your kids start building in them a love for God's creation in all the differences within all of his creation.

When with humility comes repentance. And so one of the things that we have to do because he's exactly right. Even the most aware struggles with stereotypes struggles with bias struggles with. So we have to be repenting people. So we repent. If we set something that's inappropriate or wrong, and we try to help our kids learn to repent two to be people who ask God for forgiveness and turn from our sin, and so I just think that's really important. With humility comes repentance lumps are grateful to both of you for sharing from your hearts, and again securing the Scriptures like that and show you. Thank you for this book creative God colorful us. We do recommend that you get that for your kids or grandkids. Maybe for yourself magic.

His book is a great starting point for you unpack some of this.

Get a copy from us here at Focus on the Family and support the ministry as you do. As Jim often says a one time gift of any amount or if you can't run a monthly recurring sustaining gift to the ministry helps immensely. Donate today.

Get a copy of this book and you can do that by clicking the details in the episode notes or call 800 K in the word family along the way you talk about not just doing some introspection, but equipping our kids so they can do well and in you and your team have this great parenting assessment. It's free, like over to just give a one sentence summary of what this assessment is all about what's really based on the high level of demanding. This is apparent boundaries and also high levels of love and it's called seven traits of effective parenting assessment for use apparent to see how you can grow and what strengths you bring into your will.

That's can be free again. It's available on our website just checked the episode world very truly, thanks much for the energy and the insight you brought to thank you thank you think on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team. Thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family I'm John Fuller inviting you back once again help you and your family thrive in Christ by his click away seeing the adventures in Odyssey club find trusted faith building and attainment safe online club features almost every episode ever special monthly club only episodes in content and Focus on the Family clubhouse magazine subscription. Sign up today I'll club.org/radio