How a Strong-Willed Woman Can be Used by God (Part 2 of 2)

Hey this is John Fuller and Focus on the Family is looking for talented writers and editors to help reduce our audio programs and podcast go to focusonthefamily.com/jobs to learn more about these and other job opportunities secured focus, and I believe in strong-willed women in the church. I believe that we have a place but I believe we get it, not by demanding it by demonstrating our ability to do it with a sweet spirit with a compassionate heart with a totally sold out life to God. We have more encouragement for strong-willed women on today's episode of Focus on the Family featuring Cynthia Tobias and her hostess focus. President Jim Daly I John Fuller this is really a powerful message from Cynthia Tobias helping strong-willed women see their strengths and perhaps some weaknesses and how to harness that strong-willed to God's greater purpose and let me just point out that last time Cynthia said that she is not promoting a Christian brand of feminism. Here she appreciates the skills that men bring to the table as well. But it's also important for church and ministry leaders to embrace strong-willed women and not expect them to fit into the stereotypical role of meek and mild personality types.

So here now is if you Tobias Christian teachers on today's episode of Focus on the Family. I'm willing to take risks. I am unwilling to step out there. I share in the book we read it kind of a crisis point with the business a few years ago and and I just I couldn't decide whether you know if we step forward in one direction. It would cost a lot of money and it would be risking didn't know if it would work out an athlete. We can play it safe that we didn't know, but would not go anywhere and I was just kind of debating about what we should do in I went to church Wednesday night and our pastor the time he shared the story and you know that nothing is a coincidence and he said he shared the story when he was young pastor in his 30s in Southern California and it was a growing church in and he said it was going so fast that they desperately needed a new associate system met as a board and we all pray together. We prayed through. We knew that God would bring as an assistant. We just prayed that the offerings would commence only get paid and assist. He said that every single week.

From then on, waited for the offerings to come and they didn't know extra came in anywhere at all.

He said after several weeks he said I was so discouraged I went to my mentor and I said. Philippians says that my God shall supply all your need. He said we have an overwhelming need easily prayed about it.

We feel that God wants us to hire an associate, but he has not provided the money to do so is mentor said, have you had the associate said no we don't have the money. He said you don't have a need. He said God is not in the business of hedging your bets, providing safety nets out there. If you believe it's what you're supposed to do step out there then you got a need and then have supply we did and he did and over and over and over the last 10 to 15 years. It happens over and over and over again when you step up to God. He can't guide a car at the Tim Park.

You gotta put it into a hive and you gotta move forward and if you move back there and you have a need to supply sometimes you need a good strong-willed woman to remind you that as a compliant woman in 19 known will just be pray for you. I'm very diverse in my interest in careers. I rarely talk to strong-willed woman who is working at least two jobs volunteer here they're doing like a million things because it's not that we can't hold down a job, although sometimes it looks like that justly conquer MoveOn conquer move on. I know how to do this one about this.

I've never done that before.

I've always wanted to do that so we discussed the etiquette training do that okay I can do that but that about that one, that we where other people out going why you just stay in one place because I've been here. There are so many other places I haven't been. We can give our young strong-willed women a lot of grief because you know you're supposed to focus and you supposed to settle down you supposed to know what you want to do and I'm going out I would never want to be stuck in a job where I had to be there. Never-the very beginning.

I was determined to be as diverse as possible so that I would never have a job where I would look around Monday and go well and kinda bored with it, but what else will I do that will be strong-willed women that work at jobs they hate for a what, but it's only a stepping stone to get where they need to be to conquer what they need to do. I don't know any strong-willed women who live and work in 40 years in the same job they hate done happen than but the downside is we don't have much patience for people who do and complain about all you hate your job I get another one. How tough can it be if you have to go flip burgers at McDonald's for little while before you judge it just is not that easy for a lot of people. And although it seems easy for us it's hard for us to remember sometimes that that's not how everybody works and were so impatient with them so disgusted with them for not just getting over it and get a grip and moving on. But you know what when I do with people who are to strong-willed as me.

I can become accrual that way because that's not how everybody thinks and some people need a little softer approach. Some people can't just move on like that so I have to pace myself and I have to understand that not everybody thinks like me that's hard.

I want you to think like me. But then if you did, I would resent you because I can be different. You would think I knew what he was doing, making us he did and we can celebrate so much about our strong-willed nature, especially after we've given back to the one who gave to us in the first place because he doesn't tame us and he doesn't neutralize us a dozen take away. He just gives it back in such a consecrated holy form that he gives us the desire deep in our strong-willed, stubborn sometimes arts that with my whole heart. I want to serve God.

I will do it relentlessly. I will do it constantly and I will do it forever.

Even though I veer from the path. Sometimes I will let him bring me back because with all my heart all my strong with heart. That's what I want and if I can instill that in my children.

I know that I can guide that stubborn, strong-willed nature on the path for God and change the world who breaks down enemy strongholds better. Nobody breaks them down better. Are you Dr. Bryant are you discouraged by. I've been through some terrible personal crisis last couple years, and there more than one time when I got up in the morning and said to the enemy. You think you're dealing with.

Who in the world you think you you are so smug and you think you are wrong. You have no dominion you have no power because the blood of Jesus Christ covers my life and you have no dominion you need your strong will and in times like that you need in times of crisis. I thought it was interesting only did the crisis chapter my focus group were taught about strong-willed women crisis. We had all these free-flowing ideas and we all discovered that we are talking about other people's crisis.

None of us even admitted to having our own because in a way it would make us seem weak when it we think and how well but it's not bad happen to me would seem like I was a victim and and and and you know, hard on ourselves because we think you know I should've been able to prevent that. I should've seen it, I should've known about that you know that the song we sing, sometimes in church about your righteousness. Righteousness is what I want, what he longs for what I long for. I never sang the verse that said brokenness, brokenness is what I long for, I would. I would always think you'd be crazy to ask for that winder would ask for brokenness because you get it anyway and you know brokenness for strong-willed woman is really tough and it was hard for us as we said, even our focus group to humble ourselves again before God and be able to say I couldn't prevent some of the things that happened to me I couldn't. It wasn't in my power to it was out of my control is so hard to come face-to-face with something that you realize wasn't in your control, you couldn't control it. We like to have our life in control. I don't always have to control you. But I just don't want anything to take control away from me so it takes supernatural intervention by God to allow me to give my heart and my will to him and allow myself to accept the brokenness and learn from because I hate feeling like I made a mistake that you just natural, but God uses it and molds it and sanctifies it and brings it back and gives it back to you stronger and stronger than ever. Well, you know, the downside of being diverse in your careers is that you can be real flighty and never finish anything and just because someone becomes boring. You just abandoned knife.

Your godly, strong-willed woman. You don't let people down that way. You just don't. But if you're not a godly, strong-willed woman.

You don't think anything of it you shrug it off and just move on a well then work out big deal but a godly strong-willed woman will stick with it long enough not to let anybody down. We don't just do it, drop it and move on. We conquer it. Finish it.

Move on, but I'm not going let you down because it deals a deal and very loyal and very true, until you betray me, but I won't let you down.

Have a strong desire to do the right thing. I buy think were just born with it in some ways I want to do the right thing. I'm in a champion.

The causes of the downtrodden.

I'm not going let somebody make fun or bully somebody else and I just I want to do the right thing deep in my heart I want to do the right thing even if there's not a rule for it not lawful and I still want to do the right thing, but when I don't use it in the right way. What can happen is I can flaunt the rules and authority to tell you I do resist rules if their picky little rules and I don't know that and they don't seem to work for me. Then I seem to make any sense. They pick pick pick at you. You got involved you don't have to tell me that because I would've known that the classic thing in the focus broadcasts and I got so much mail on it for the last 10 or 15 years when my sister had her youngest was still in a stroller. We were at Sears shopping got to the escalator and with the elevator is never in a very convenient place. So I started to take the stroller on the escalator and there's a sign right there. It says no strollers in the escalator. My sister the rule follower. She said take the stroller and the escalator says no strollers on the escalator.

I said what are the S are the stroller police going to come and arrest you don't understand this is for people who don't know how to safely put a stroller and escalator. I said I know how to safely put it on there. It doesn't apply to me. Give me stroller you take the child that you hold them securely pull the empty stroller up that's easy. I sister she when you come upstairs. She could not believe that somebody would so blatantly disregard a rule it's an guideline a few months later as a Dallas-Fort Worth airport in coming down escalator and I saw this man and his wife and baby buggy coming up the up escalator and I could tell, even from a distance, I mean she was reading in the right.

I honestly do when you're not supposed to put it there and as I passed them.

I heard him say to her nobody died.

Did anybody die. I just wanted to do the right thing.

But you know what why he always says out of order, but I just maybe it is. Maybe it isn't.

Try they make these rules for reason you know what will just tell me the reason I don't know exactly but I figured out if there's no good reason for the rule where you why Elaine Alanis we have it weekly innately and in you, knowing inherently want to do the right thing.

But you know I don't have to say with the dark side is Dennis, we can be hit we can just make your life miserable by just flaunting the rules and especially in our younger years and her adolescent years were, you know, flaunt authority anyway all your rules seem to be pick pick pick pick pick, so we just dump them all was dump among and and that's not the right direction, but we do it really well.

I'm willing to step up even if no one else is unwilling to step up on exactly what to do, but I think that's a good idea. I went to South Africa this last fall with a group called adopt a cop and it's a couple of us are former police officers and the couple current police officers and then some support personnel and we went down to work with the police departments in Cape Town South Africa and some of the worst crime in the world and the police officers the least equipped to lease train. We did some training and some exercises with them. Then we minister to the police officers families while we were there was a really cool time is extremely dangerous. I just had no idea until we got there. How truly dangerous it is that the police department within the police department had the highest suicide rate, highest homicide rate highest divorce rate in the world. They have their of their armed robberies are committed with AK-47 their gangs make ours look like social clubs, you know, really, in order to be in a gang in the Cape Town in South Africa you have to molest and kill a young girl and it usually happens right. The school gates you have to insert or stay in the gang have to kill a cop 80% of their children are molested often by their own family members before the every reached age 10 and was unbelievable. The crime, the evil just bare rock evil.

And of course a couple of us wanted to do a ride along. It was the absolute most terrifying four hours probably of my life as a cop here in the United States. You know you live for the live for those moments. You know the man with the gun you want to still be there and you know all the danger and stuff but this was different. I mean around every corner, every single second on the right along every single second. We knew our life was in danger.

Every moment, there was not one moment a safety when I wrote about it later. My mother wrote back and she said why did you do that you have to 14-year-old boys to raise. Why would you do that don't take those kind of understand what she was meeting, but I was thinking what if we all felt that way.

But if no one is willing to take a chance. What if no one was willing to take a risk with their family with you. I do see him I can risk my children out and bring with me to South Africa because I that I knew it was dangerous and I know that it was dangerous and I could've been killed with what I did. I prayed about it and I know that God had our safety and I know that he that I rest in his hand should be safe in the harbor, but that's not what ships were built for. They were built for the harbor Zoe to stay if you're strong-willed woman here this afternoon. Today, I guarantee, God has placed in your heart. Something to do something important, something a little risky and something that some of you haven't done yet because you're a little hesitant step out step out you have a need.

He'll fulfill it.

You are you afraid to take a risk, why, why is God not enough. Is he not enough. He has enough can I just tell you that he is enough.

It's amazing. It's harder for me now to doubt him than it is to trust I'm old.

I've been young and now mold, mold, but I have never ever had God fill me want to view. Has he ever failed you. Has he ever failed to come through heavy panic at the last minute. The other one my favorite books.

I think Stan Freeman wrote called God is never failed me yet, but he sure has scared me to death a couple of times get right to the edge and you go. I sure hope you're out there because while we have come to the last moment and he steps in and takes care of every time step, step up.

He has something for you to do something important, something for a few of you that the whole reason you came this week and that's a whole reason you came is to send this place right now. Let me just be a messenger and I stand in awe that I get to be messenger some this great is not me.

It's just God speaks and he has a message and I think you know who you are and you know what is messages to you today step out do it step go. I'll keep you, I'll hold you.

You can trust me, you can change the world. Now, if I'm willing to step up but I don't do it for God. I can be like a bull in a china shop. I can just move my way through and try anything and not care what anybody else thinks but I do care what people think I care what God thinks is not so much that my life is ruled by what other people think you know Ethel Barrett.

She wrote that the court said we would worry a lot less about what other people think of us if we realized how seldom they do. My other favorite saying about how the moon would never get this job done. If it paid attention. All the dogs that barked at it, but the one I care more about than anybody else, is what God thinks of me and how he judges my heart obedience, submission, all of that I believe in but not of the traditional way we think about submission being all will. That's just me can do it anybody tells you to do understand how much strength of will. It takes to voluntarily submit to God it take everything in your whole strong-willed heart that you will ever hope to gather to force yourself to the foot of the cross and give it up on purpose obey is that weakness were talking about Stephanie were talking about when God nudges you having the strength of will step up and obey him do what he says do you know that's the most compelling exciting life.

I can think of living my strong will for God in obedience and finding out the unexpected joy.

There is in obeying do we fight against the biblical principles no, no, absolutely not.

Because we are strong-willed women who trust in God, who doesn't process.

He lifts us up. But, in turn, we lift him up and draw all men unto him, not us.

Break down enemy strongholds. Images will part of Proverbs 31 this is the first time. I love the message it's got. It is designed for the strong-willed person I think that I just love and and here's the me just read your little excerpt from Proverbs 31 in the message. See if this sounds like you a good woman is hard to find and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trust her without reserve and never has reason to regret it. Never spiteful. She treats him generously all her lifelong could you know what if you don't treat your husband generously and if you speak to him spitefully can't justify it. Not if you want to bring honor and glory to God. She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises bow that would be shopping. I can so do that, she looks over field and buys it. Real estate acquisition I could do that with money she's put aside plant the garden she senses the worth of her work and is in no hurry to call it quits for the day were no timeclock punctures she's quick to assist anyone in need and reaches out to help the poor, strong sense of compassion. Her clothes are well-made and elegant Nordstrom and she always faces tomorrow with a smile when she speaks she has something worthwhile to say.

And she always says it kindly. She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive I could do that to okay everybody must march her children respect and bless her, her husband joined in with words of praise.

Many women have done wonderful things, but you've outclassed them all time can mislead and beauty soon fades the woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the fear of God. No one said it would be easy but you know what, there is no greater calling for a strong-willed woman than the call at the foot of the cross where God says give it.

I'll take it and I get back to you and you love what it looks like because you will be able to draw men unto me with a powerful powerful will that shows the world you have surrendered and want to use it for my glory.

Would you buy heads with me for just mom Lord we have the power to hurt or the power to bless I just ask again this afternoon for myself.

Would you just keep me constantly in the center of your will so that my power to hurt is overcome by my power to bless and that my strength of will is a strong-willed woman might be used, to live my life completely and radically and sold out for you and I thank you for the women and the men in this room, the men who love them. The men who were trying to understand us who want to keep us close.

I just ask that each of us, you would give a special dispensation of your grace, and a special awareness of how we serve you and let us, Lord, be sold out for you what is in your name we pray. That is a powerful prayer. Today's episode of Focus on the Family from her guest, Cynthia, Tobias, that was really good job and I so appreciate Cynthia's ability to celebrate the strengths of strong-willed women, but also to explain how that strong personality can run amok without a daily recommitment to the Lord and his purposes, and as I said last time. I think all of us with strong-willed male and female need that reminder to stay in harness with our creator. If we run ahead of the Lord are fall too far behind we can find ourselves operating outside of his will for our lives and our main purpose here Focus on the Family is to encourage you in your walk with God and of course we give marriage and parenting advice, but a relationship with Jesus Christ is paramount. That's the most important thing we can do in over the past year almost to million people say that Focus on the Family has help them grow closer to the Lord and we praise God for that. So let me remind you to take advantage of the resources we have to offer a great way to do that is by downloading our app you'll be able to access this broadcast plus her marriage and parenting podcasts with two new episodes each week. The app also provides access to adventures in Odyssey for kids of all ages are boundless podcast for young adults and are weakly plugged and show that focuses on media discernment.

It really is a pretty amazing library of content and are also devotionals and great articles as well. Look for the link to the app in the show notes if you can donate to this ministry to support these great efforts. The best way to do that is with the monthly pledge to sustain us month to month and when you make a pledge of any amount will send you the book by Cynthia Tobias. It's called a woman of strength and purpose, and if you can't commit to a monthly pledge.

Right now we get it we can also send the book for a one-time gift of any amount. Just give us a call our number is 800 the letter in the word family or follow the link in the episode notes to donate to the work of Focus on the Family and request your copy of the book when you visit our website look for the focus app as Jim mentioned she can take her helpful programming with you while you're on the go. It's much more than just this broadcast to check it out and let us know what you think next time on this broadcast you hear from Jonathan McKee. He'll have insights about your child's digital world how to help them navigate all that we can start talking about who God is and their identity in Christ and have those conversations regularly to be able to come to these winter tick-tock going.

I don't have enough followers have that foundation of the word of God on behalf of Jim Daly in the entire team here.

Thanks for joining us today for this Focus on the Family podcast if you would please take a moment and give us a rating sure about this episode on John Fuller inviting you back next time you once more help you and your family thrive by.

This is Jim Daly with Focus on the Family. I will let you know about an online experience called sea life, 20, 21 in the six episode video series were sharing stories and encouragement that will inspire and empower you to live out your pro-life views. You'll also discover valuable resources to help step up and get involved in the cause. This is a digital experience, you and your family won't want to miss all the details are Focus on the Family.com/sea life