Getting Rid of Clutter in Your Home

God knows your heart, and knows your heart to help people and to give country people are the most generous people I know that tiny step of that will start to show you that God does care about you care about the condition of your heart, and cares about your home to be able to invite people in The live joins us today for this best of 2020 episode of Focus on the Family president Dr. Jim Daly, thanks for joining us I'm John Fuller and Jim she used the word I don't hear too often cluttering generous and Jon, I feel like I'm a reorganized person.

I just know that went with being Scrooge very well generous you are very well organized and generous. I would hope but I've mentioned how I like to keep that garage pointed out that Wayne of mine sexually, but you know I keep trying. I keep trying to make sure it can be as clean as possible. I had to give up my garage to a daughter who was doing a van conversion this past summer and continued and can get their sawdust and everywhere Jim to get out there every night sweep up know she does well that's rare. That's a good point.

Noah 2020.

Behind us and as we head into the new year. You may be thinking about downsizing or maybe cleaning up your garage or maybe more, and it can be overwhelming.

I get it you might have a room full of your mother-in-law's antiques or kids artwork and close it just goes on and on and you don't know what to do with all that stuff.

Today we have some solid practical advice to help you get rid of the clutter and bring peace to your home. That sounds good son Kathy lip is always one of our most popular gas, which is why this is one of our best programs of 2020. She's helped thousands of people let go of stuff they didn't need. She can do it. She does it with humor and a great heart and you're going to be encouraged by what she has to share today. I think you will be… A popular speaker and author, she's been here a number of times and is the host of the clutter free Academy. The podcast with Kathy lip and she's also written a book called the clutter free home making room for your life in here now is the best of conversation with Kathy Kathy welcome back so great to be my garage health call. What did you think I am very prescriptive which is a nice way of saying bossy work. Yeah, the reality is you have dealt with clutter issues in your own home. These are things that for the most part you've learned on the job training absolutely will from a small child because my dad was a hoarder so I've learned this from the ground so that's an interesting insight. Sometimes I think God works in pendulum swings as I call it so you know if your for example your parents on a serious note come from an alcoholic or abusive home.

Some children will tend to move the other direction right never know that ruin my family have never and that's a good thing. But you can have the pendulum affect with clutter.

Yes.

So when I was a new mom.

I was Vito you guys to talk about is a busy stage of life.

That's where I was at ad you could. It was reflected in my house that I just accumulated all this stuff at night now understand there's a spiritual reason for that. But I also understood that the more I got my house clear of clutter. The more I understood about what I believed about God and what I believed about myself and so yeah I'm back at the other side and by the way my house is not picture-perfect. Nobody it from real simple is coming to take pictures of my house that's really a sign of healthy tonight.

I feel like you were in a good balance.

It looks like people live there. Let me put it out.

Let me ask you that because what does it tell us when we do have a lot of just stuff. Well, why do we have it and why do we cling to it.

I think it says different things about different people one things I think it says is when we keep stuff just in case. Like I'm onto that sweater just in case I gained 10 pounds or five now you hurt me. I understand this is I tend to step on a lot of toes.

The toes are usually buried in clutter. So that is all my genes in the corner of the club. My things out of fear. What I feel like that is saying is one trust God to provide for my future so I need to hang onto everything I've ever owned. For my entire life.

So for some people scare some people's guilt if they spent any money on anything in their entire lives. They need to keep it until Jesus comes back right. Otherwise, they can sit here they hear from their disc Christian era grandparents you know uses up where it out make do do without. And so the things that I actually love that saying but it's only for things that we actually you know you at one point I looked in my drawer and I had six eggbeaters the world except for yellow bakery need six eggbeaters but I kept holding onto them because I just thought well when I wear one out. I can use another one now wearing out. Eggbeaters is not my life.

So we got the fear we got the guilt and shame you if I in the guilt also is if somebody gave it to you so there's guilt and shame gave something to me and so I need to keep it till both of you mentioned the 10 principles of a clutter free home.

So let's cover those okay just hit him okay so I am the first one is going to challenge you. Jim may clutter management daily priority so you say you know it takes exactly a day to clean out your garage.

I thought that I didn't catch that. What a terrible way to spend a Saturday off right. I agree that's what you doing today that's right you do today but here's what I would say instead would be better to do a bunch of 15 minute spurts were you just go in there for your saying now okay just I like progress. I guess that's why I think progress has to be done in small steps alike. I don't want you to clean your garage for 15 minutes. I want to clean your workbench for 15 minutes is you can make progress on your workbench, but cleaning my garage on a Saturday is the most depressing I've ever heard in the English slang. Okay good enough okay designate a place for everything.

So I think often times we don't have things you were just talking about bills coming and stuff like that. It's because maybe the place is a little too out of place and so having a cute box where everything goes in something like that. My wife's desk would be a better place. As long as you know, because I want to be married to Nancy number three don't play the side put it away. I tell myself this all the time because what this is doing is taking care of my future self. If I put it aside.

That means I have to go really clean it up. But if I put it away. The next time I'm looking for scissors.

I know where the scissors are or the next time someone calls me and says where scissors I know where they are okay. Number four.

Stop being reactive and start being proactive in what I mean by that is, don't clean because mother-in-law's coming we should shine but don't let that be the only reason because what that is us – and – okay don't argue over stuff negotiate space. This is so important for people who are in relationships because if you say you play the guitar at 12 years. You're wounding you that little boy who played guitar to impress that girl like he's not going to get rid of that guitar, but if you say okay you get one gorilla rack in the garage. I get one gorilla rack in the garage that is a way to a peaceful solution about stuff.

Instead of arguing over the actual things. I promise you still have to make some choices. The person's choice or not saying the guitar saying hey can you know that guitar exactly what tar can fit on the gorilla rack you. I have an old guitar as every guy has an old guitar.

I learned one song on the guitar right so let's talk about that guitar. Next thing is don't use storage as a way to delay decision. Okay, so I yeah I know right that that's we come to me in the last year, but what I realized is the stuff I had so neatly organized in my storage space in the garage was just the late decisions. The ones that I didn't feel I was emotionally able to make you so once you diagnose the clutter. You can dispense with the clutter.

Figure out what's at the core, is it fear, guilt or shame. What is making you hold onto. Or maybe you just have too much stuff going on what a person says and this is a fair one. I don't want to pay for it again.

I don't have to use it in two okay that eggbeater let me challenge you okay if you know you're going to use it in a year if it's a snowblower you can use it in the year to. But if it's a sweater that I liked one time and maybe I don't like it so much anymore, but I could like it.

Under the right circumstances can trust God enough to get that into the right person's hands. Okay Fern, I'm not trying to throw the God card. I'm really not. But I really do believe sometimes stuff comes to us just for a moment and that were supposed to pass it on to yeah things are not relationships.

And this is hard when we have no aging parents are passing away. We have somebody significant in our life. But if we see that person in every item that they've ever given us what we want to curate the best and get rid of the rest because other people wanted to think exactly, just in case. Thinking is impoverished thinking.

We've already talked about this if I hold onto everything yet. If you give a thousand things away and you need to rebuy five of them. Your saving $70 on a storage unit, $150 on a storage not doing it and you deserve peace in your home. I think many of us feel like I'm so cluttered I'm so chaotic that we don't believe that peace is possible in our space. These are really great through them so quickly post a summary at our website. And of course were and encourage you get the whole book from Kathy called the clutter free home again.

That summary in the book on her website details in the episode notes Kathy you have made decluttering relatively easy.

In terms of the how to infect you. Therefore steps you identify.

The first one being dedicate write what you mean by that, and how you dedicate your kitchen okay that's a great question. I think so many of our houses are so multipurpose and we got kids doing homework in the dining room which is totally fine. You do homework anywhere that I we are not to discourage them from doing it anywhere but also if you work at home. You may be working in your bedroom. This guy thinks I say get very serious about like just fine. What that space is what you actually using it for. And if you're actually using your kitchen for homework and cooking.

And that's a hangout place. Then create the space around that make decision so if you need to have homework hubbies in the kitchen do that but don't pretend that the kitchen is just used for cooking and eating it because in most houses. It's not so really dedicate that space. It allows you to decide the purpose of the space and what things I love to do is actually just take a Bible verse or a quote or something and put it in each space to remind myself what is dedicated for Julia Child has this great quote that says my favorite people are the people who eat and I just I love that you know but the people are people who enjoy eating and so we had that happen in our kitchen and it's silly, but it's also the say hey this is a place where we want joy we want fine. We want people to gather around the table and feel welcome so willing to saying this is what we use this room for this is what we use this room for. And it helps sort and decide what you actually keep in that room instead of having it out the scissors and every single room you. You have the scissors in the room where you actually use. So think about the purpose.

Think about the perp maybe not even label the room has, but how you as a family. Use exactly could be defined by how your best friend or your mom use that rep enters Pinterest buddy use it how you want to use. Okay, that's good. So now you've made this dedication right then you decide, okay, I gotta go tackle it yeah well I want to do one thing I want you to decide how you want to feel when you walk into that room. So does that sound like your head. So here is what it is like in the kitchen. I wanted to be bright and clean and smell amazing so there's this limited Verbena soap that I just love so I don't spend a lot of money on my house but I love that limited Verbena and I've got soap in a candle and a hand lotion and that's all in my kitchen. So when I walk into my kitchen in the morning. It smells bright it looks bright. That's how I wanted to be my living room. I went to be comfy and cozy and have lots of texture and snuggle up in a blanket and I actually decide the words that I want room to feel like now I think give my has been Roger could care less about a lot of Roger.

But here's the thing Roger wants a comfortable blanket when he wants a comfortable blanket, he hasn't probably spent a lot of time thinking about that by I know what he left. He also loves to come home and smelled something great cooking in the kitchen so Delisa when he's home you know I want the kitchen to be functional so he can cook and I can cook supper. It's thinking through things like that. What we want to happen in that room and how do I want that room to feel I've never thought of that for you.

Gina spent time thinking of it because that what she makes the home and this is all about creating a home that we love to come home to. So the part again that I'm most interested given names now right you know what you what adjectives you want. This room yeah now tell me how to clean it. Okay, so here's what I want to do. So I've given you in the book and we can also put this on the website because we want to give as many tools as we possibly can. I want you take one room a day and just been 15 minutes and it because here's what I know you didn't get done more in 15 minutes. Then if you said I'm going to spend an hour cleaning the garage is 15 minutes or to set a timer here to take one little section of that room and you're going to get it done okay Kathy, I know what you're saying that it's helpful but I'm telling you, for me, doesn't feel like I have any satisfaction from 15 minutes. It's like I was just getting started.

Okay, so the number one problem I hear is people don't have time to decluttering okay so that's what you're trying to tell her I'm trying to say 15 minutes but I tell you two things I want to do. It's time boxing it's setting an alarm for 15 minutes you are going to attack and space boxing. So what you're gonna do, there is you're saying.

I'm not to go clean the garage and in a clean toolbox or something like that. Because yes, if that would be true. Yeah you if you get one little area. Now here's the thing. Like when I go clean out my Tupperware drawer and I only take 15 minutes but that keeps me from banging my head against the wall a thousand times when I can't find the right bottom.

I talked to that one right know a man who can live somewhere I don't know where not only that you try to match those words to the autumns right like this is important to Roger need to start back up right and so here's the thing. I also know that once I done it time I open that door.

It makes me happy that I look at it and I'm like okay there is some organization or its Kathy, do you recommend spouse helps out in this process should Jean be helping Jim clean the garage for 15 questions. I would not ask okay so here's what I think. I think it's everybody's responsibility. One person helps another person, but I have kind of a sacred space in my garage and Dean is is the kitchen and I cleaned up the kiln don't do that you think you know don't do that or affirming what I is yeah, let's keep your marriage happy everybody. It you rule the roost in one area go into the garage and rearrange things for Roger because I'm helping that's not helpful that's me being controlling. And so that's not how I'm going to roll.

But if Roger went into the kitchen because I optimize the kitchen for you for you to be able to cook better. That is not marriage enhancing. Now we also have other spaces that we kind of just carved out as our own. I think it's always wonderful as you say, is there some specific task I could help with that would be helpful to you. But all those common spaces. That's for everybody to help out. What will I appreciate your clarification. Yet, get with it. John yeah okay Kathy.

More practical tips right you describe your three toque to bag system. Getting rid of clutter okay so what clutter is is decision fatigue. It's not being able to make one more decision. So these three totes ones orange it says other rooms once purple it's for Browning got the idea is happening in my teenager's room right now. I love that is been happening for a while and well there are some projects that are larger than the Jones and then green is for giveaway.

You have those three and then you have garbage and recycling and so I want to do this is everything that's out of place in that room. I want you to either put in other rooms put back means it goes in that room, which is not in the right space or giveaway garbage and recycling.

Because what happens is we clean everything out.

We make a giant pile. The kids come home. They go through the pile they pick out the treasures they haven't seen in two years and nothing ever happens, but I want you take those totes and then deal with them. So 15 minutes you decluttering them for five minutes you're throwing away garbage you doing the recycling. The giveaway goes directly to the card not to be seen by a child other rooms and then put back all that can really be done in about five minutes but seems phenomenal it really helpful and so with 15 minutes you do for 15 minutes and you're not overwhelmed. Yes, you have your day-to-day homework's coming and groceries coming in males coming at stuff you have to deal with, but to get to the root of a room that 15 minutes once a week is segmenting takes away the decision fatigue – what's a good question that you should ask yourself, or maybe gently ask your family member for the request.

Okay, do I love it if you absolutely love it. You get to keep it but if it's in the garage in a box.

I question your love you use it if you use it regularly or however it's supposed to be used. Absolutely you can keep would you buy it again. Now if you can answer yes to all three of those obviously keep it on your shelf yeah if you have a really strong yes to one of those keep it but if it's kind man to all three. I think at get rid of it out of their way and because what you're doing is you're making space for the rest of your life yeah and you know you in those four things were in the post because we didn't get through the mall, obviously. But the do your own thing. What's I gotta catch that. What is yeah so that means that pillow that you love it T.J. Maxx or that you saw target when you get your room, 60% to cluttered.

I want you to really think through what you make it pop. What's gonna make it. You don't buy the things before you decluttering because that's just putting cute on top of clutter and just get sucked. I like acute on top of clutter like lipstick on a bigger drag exactly okay so your your son demonstrates the art of cure ration that separates all similar so my daughter's boyfriend and my son were at the same concert and my daughter's boyfriend just got to go with some friends, but was in the VIP area, so it was very very thought is rational yeah add found out that Jeremy was there was. Jeremy was so excited to see them in everything, but Jeremy was just there as a fan, he regular CT bought the cheap seats, the nosebleeds, and so after the concert. When my daughter's boyfriend found out how much Jeremy love this man. He had a signed poster for he said you know what I would enjoy this, you would love it and gave it to Jeremy and I love it. Such an illustration of how sometimes pop things pass through our hands. They're not supposed to stay in our hands this post to go to the right person. So there's a lot of stuff in your house right now that needs to get to the right person and I we can trust God when we take things to a donation center or when we take him to a rummage sale or we put them out for a garage sale, not in our own neighborhood. Jim, you gotta take those to a different time to get rid of people will find their stuff, but we can trust God that those things can get into the right hands without us holding. I like that.

If you watch the history Channel.

I think they have that shows American pickers obsessed.

Now this is another thing I can't watch that show why why why do people have that much junk that was like, don't you know every one of those things is going to be so want to go clean it up to see but that's your motivate like you leave that car out beside the garage for like 70 years that the hard covered in dirt right as anybody ever know is yeah exactly what I love about that show is older people get, they realize that the stuff is not the people. True, they got this from their grandparents. It all has a story right and sometimes there's a collector or somebody who is into that certain kind of memorabilia, it would mean even more to that to that part I like that storyteller. Yeah, just going through those garages right yeah you know your garage cannot Kathy. There's got to be somebody listening to Billy who wants to have a peaceful home.

What you describe. It's comfortable and inviting home all the things you said about the room and the adjectives of the room and have good smelling and all that but they just don't know where to start. Rather, stuff.

Basically it owns them. Yeah, and it's hard to let go and you've given us some great practical advice on how to get started but speak to those people were there, just holding on. The just in case people you know just in case that her can come just in case something really big one.

The big earthquake. Whatever. What would you say to encourage them spiritually to move out of that place of fear is how I would describe it and move on. Yeah, you know, I don't please hear that I am not judging anybody because I have so been in this space, but I really do believe that the more were holding onto stuff often times it's an indication of us not being able to trust God with the circumstances of our lives. So please hear zero judgment for me because I live this way. So much of my life, but also understood. When I gave things away freely. It was amazing how many times one. I never miss the item and to the time I needed that exact item that can arrange circumstances to bring something back into my life.

It happened over and over and over again and so I would just say to experiment in trusting God with your stuff.

Yet Jesus spent so much time in the New Testament talking about our money and our things because Jesus is not surprised that clutter is an issue for just not surprised, and so God knows your heart, and knows your heart to want to help people and to give and cluttering people of the most generous people I know, but it's that tiny step of faith that will start to show you that God does care about you care about the condition of your heart, and cares about your home to be able to invite people what a fun and practical conversation with Kathy lip on best of 2020 episode of Focus on the Family and I'm sure you got a lot out of it and that you're going to get rid of a lot as well as you are inspired to de-clutter your home.

John it seems like a little thing but clutter can overwhelm your life and the John. This is an intervention. Dino wanted me to know is out but you know your focus that we do want everyone to have peace in your home so you can create strong memories and enjoy the relationships with your family. Not with your stuff and mostly with the Lord. Yeah. So go ahead and get started today. Order a copy of Kathy's book the clutter free home which is packed with some great insight and wisdom, and some fun that you heard along the way here, along with a lot of practical ways to decluttering and release yourself from those things that might be holding you back and that just remind you, you can order that directly from Focus on the Family and know that all that proceed goes right back into ministry providing hope and help families just like your so I know it's easy to do the one click with an online retailer, but your dollars will go much farther helping families here focus and I'm sure most of us are glad to put 20/20 behind us. It was such a challenging year with the pandemic violent rioting in the contentious election. It just goes to show we all need the hope and peace, Jesus Christ came to give us, and that's our mission here at Focus on the Family we want to provide you with the tools and insights to help you be a better spouse and a better mom or dad one listener Carolyn Roden to tell us this. I have listened to your program. From the time our two girls were children. Now they and their children are benefiting from your programs, books, CDs and DVDs and you have been ministering to us for generations now and since my husband passed away your information programs have been a support to me so grateful to have a kind of an impact. Well, we are all grateful John we can't do it alone that we need to hear from you and your support will give families that hope in Jesus Christ. When you give a gift of any amount today to the ministry will send you a copy of Kathy's book the clutter free home is our way of saying thank you guys going to do some possible things through you and Focus on the Family in 2021. Contribute today and get your copy of the clutter free home. The notes have the contact information and links on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team. Thanks for listening today to Focus on the Family I'm John Fuller inviting you back. As we once more help you and your family. Thriving Christ