Simple Ways to Organize Your Home and Family

Finding trust and faith building entertainment for your kids is easy with the adventures in Odyssey club. It's an online community with almost every episode ever had a Focus on the Family clubhouse magazine subscription AIL club.org/radio and I wonder if you got the last part of that is that your old saying she likes to organize and that is not something you hear every day today on Focus on the Family really talk to that little girl's mom to get some tips for getting kids motivated to get involved in your home organization and your hostess focus presidents and Dr. Jim Daly I'm John Fuller hey keeping a house tidy and organized is perhaps one of the great challenges of all of us today. Especially when you have young kids living that that comes a real challenge. It's almost like trying to brush her teeth while eating Oreos just doesn't work out today.

We want to offer parents and help for establishing a chore system, business, and it forces them very sophisticated and that's how to get kids involved in housecleaning and tackling common issues like laundry and storage and maybe not in the kitchen maybe will tackle that one along the way we have Christie clover with us today she's home organization experts and mom of five kids ranging from preschool to young adults, and of course one of those children we heard earlier, she's eight Christie is also an author and her book is called mom MOM master organizer of mayhem simple solutions to organize chaos and bring more joy in your home and it will encourage you to get a copy of that we got a link in the episode notes Christie first time here. Focus welcome to be here. It was good to have you here so that little girl and how much money Kaman distress I now write what you pay or I just flip there's 100 kids not having me.

I like that she's Mike on the little girl that fun.

You've raised a daughter who loves to organize. I don't think that was always the case that had to do it. How did you really without money and cookies. Now you know honestly I think it's a lot of prayer back seat as now that she is truly one of the nastiest. She's the one that like she's walking and she's done with something she does not care what I mean will find things everywhere and one day we were in a comfortable room and I was working with my signs and she can manage his money coming looking like that and I was waiting to see things like stuffed and under a chair, stepped in and she really dead look and see what I see she had looked at the room and put things right. And did you do let me the difference to you and she told me while I looked at the room and I thought about what I wanted it to look like and so it's something about that light clicked with her that morning and she has just been the person who loves this was at eight right this is that yes so we had that same epiphany with our oldest, but he was like 18 something you did a little differently. In fact, we have a clip I want to go and play right here of your daughter. Let's listen all the part about her conviction.

That's all the good stuff right.

The reality is it always wasn't that way, not just with your daughter but with you yeah you had a point in your in your life where you thought it was all fallen apart and it was kind of the D day of home organizing.

So what happened, Mike and I saw my story from not simply try to keep on top of things and kids come into your life and so we when people say everything that could've gone wrong went wrong. That was where we were at my has been transferred to San Diego, which I know for me that whether in the world and my coming to territories at the time and that she was telling my crazies that he just blindly had stress in our marriage we both between the two of us had three surgeries that were completely unexpected house we were moving into was just not getting finished.

It was like a new bell that is crazy. Just crazy and we were just not getting the work done into this one morning I apparently was so stressed out that my body had a little sentence I'm trying to nurse my son and nothing is happening as I called the tractor and really nice crystal and being gay people over here within the next hour. I just believe that I got my son crying. I am so that my milk will not let down and the hardest part was when I came home to Ellen Baron and I came home you think I'm so sorry that our team hear what you think and how to melt. While I never had a call quite like the hamster he great tip for other one is one of the things that you mentioned in the book is this homemaking ADD so my wife Jean totally connected with defined, that is when you just a concert distracted so my in-laws took my kids for a weekend and I like sweets for an attack of the house project down dream job and do what I'm doing and went downstairs and I started a project and the quest I needed something for the project upstairs. I go upstairs and I realize I can get this, like multiple projects all over the house and said that's really what homemaking ADD is as well, as is the normal mom thing which kids you are interrupting moving things picking things happen just and to wrap she was so it's really hard in homemaking to stay focused that that's what I really try to help people to figure out ways to do that and to stay focused. Pick one thing and tackle that one project you develop a strategy called the master list. Now you know sometimes I'm coming on no more more to do here but what is the master list and how is it effective… But I encourage people say I got too many projects to many things to get done. So what I encourage them to take this master list.

You basically put a room labeled around anyone when you're literally looking for things that do need to get done are things that are driving you absolutely crazy and there's something magical that happens when you write down things that need to get done on a list that she takes the stress away because you realized thinking about what I now know that this is something I need to get done and it's on this lesson, I'm going to tackle one project at a time in example let's go through what you yeah so staying for me is always the garage. I person and then all of a sudden it's not you now and that is a definite collecting area and said that's when I infer that when you need a bigger chunk of time that a small weekend thing. It is okay, let's say you have the kitchen on the list you have your bedroom and you know the bathrooms okay so just walk us through that.

How do you say okay this is good be first, and wise. At first I well what I do is I can. I encourage you to categorize at sea. Look at each round you might circle the things that I be crazies in each room and then you want to go through and I have an ABC system so first of all you got bathroom in the new got drawers out the drawer. You could go that far in trying to attack like so when our bathroom. I noticed my my problem areas my bathroom sink often that I realize that I need a system for this and so I basically went there and that's when I did reorganize address. It wasn't working and signing a way to easily put things in the drawers in a nice neat place and that's what I did for that particular problem, but is massless in picking know what bugging us the Maoist closets closets are paid when there can be generalized. He's not the thing is we live it we are normal disorganized and we all struggle and so I like to encourage people to give themselves grace to pick one thing and so when with ABC as I know.

What absolutely do need to get done because there sometimes when you know something might be driving you crazy, but it can wait. So you know this is really serious marriage advice so okay so I'm the owner of the garage. That's my thing and you know all cleaned up all spent 810 hours getting back to where I like it and over the course of a month. It goes right back to the disarray that I cleaned up, but Jean was very good because I would come home walk through the garage and go what has happened to my garage and so the first thing I would say coming through the garage door into the house would be. Have you looked at the garage. She schooled me to say you know when you're coming home to say hi how bad the garage and you know it. But seriously, she was taking it very personally because I was probably jabbing her very personally like you not respecting my space and so I mean seriously, how do we manage that conversation our marriage.

When you not respecting my space that I spent a lot of time cleaning up yeah I will as I mentioned, my husband's been traveling on. He's traveled for 2021 years of our marriage and when he would come home. I put all the stress and myself like make the house perfect and there is mean I don't have it looked at all the research that there is this element as a wife and a mom like the state of my house really does trying to how I'm feeling. I'm doing so self-esteem absolutely. And so when I am feeling and this is how it feels is I feel attacked. Like all we need to get on top of that is like once I have been doing a good enough job and then I start feeling like a failure and it hasn't always just because he's like how I interpret it. So what I learned one time is my husband had been gone and I just this week's had two little boys running around the house and it was just his route. Things are crazy and I he came home and I literally greeted him in tears like I'm sorry I failed and and I just I felt so guilty and he is back and he said something I had never even expected, and he does really counters and just knowing we have a game plan for dinner.

That's all that matters to me and I realize in that moment that we needed to be communicating better self righteous are your thing and maybe that's something that either you or see or both of you together. You know have some ground rules there so as the thorn in my side really tough around you, moving things from the house he really needed to go in but bottom line, I really do want to make sure people are listening. Couples backup don't don't use it as a weapon against her spouse, in either direction right a lot of wives feel that way, you know, the husband might feel good about is going garage.

But when he comes in and starts critiquing the dirty kitchen yeah just be wise better communicate about it. I want to spend a little bit time on the parenting side of this, you say that if a child is old enough to walk your old enough to have chores while really absolutely actually was for a two euro charge for training when first job is helping to put away the silver and the silverware drawer inside like when they command the dishwasher. I'm literally holding her legs wait one second I need a disclaimer should not be touched by children place.

I clear out the shop for moons and knives and so their learning in a matching thing to us. To them matching to seek homeschooled with their mouth on it before they put it in the drawer is a quick question, or the like, you know, do something for the dropdead like that you speak to that your system again some organization around that would look like the chore system all different thinks is different. See that sometimes broke everyone in the house is a hot mess in the times and everybody's a neat freak and that a combination of everything in between. And that goes for the kids to know just like that. You gotta find a system that works for you.

So I go through several different systems that have worked for us in the past. Our favorite, what we use is this big tour board. In fact, I lack the head is really pretty chalkboard that when I normally for the beginning of the school year.

We go through we reassign things that during Kelvin season I got a bagel whiteboard and because we didn't have housecleaner sites every day. We could and I thought it was going to be temporary and then kept happening just kept happening has not made it to the chalkboard yet, but you go through and I just assigned different toxins and sometimes I cut my youngest is seven shall be a buddy because she's learning to tour our buddy Ellie asked him why don't my older son knows that she's his body in a social do the that bathroom counter in the sink and then he'll pennant to make sure that romance that's great child to his management skills element when you teach something you learned and so that you really become a master of that thing when you're teaching it to someone else and I do think because the absence of when we listen to the audio. She's the oldest daughter saying that she's number four in the lineup. She is older than her sister says she's become that example and says she's really taking ownership of a lot of things effectively had that tour board like this and that she was like all over everything and it lasted for like the first week or so and she was like this is a lot Mike told you it help you experience true. In addition, you have three tips the kids need to stay organized. Moms are getting pen and paper right now.

Right now you just post the website should write a dedication driving but what of those three tips whenever one is decluttering and what's actually getting there are times when I do cutter without kids around a nice black trash bags that are not going my trinket from you, whatever that Lego oh my goodness they're dangerous to decluttering in one of what I think is good when you're helping kids to learn to clatter is that you want them to realize in my really playing with it doesn't have value and that also is no does it is a totally broken and not worth saving.

I just toss it or can I bless someone else with that and it's really neat is that we've been blessed hand-me-downs through the years and so getting to have them start thinking like this is a toy. Don't play with. I should give this to someone else and then we also have a child, absolutely. And so whether I'm dropping it off at a donation center or sometimes they'll say things for garage sale that doesn't always happen to be honest and so you know, maybe I'll think about selling things a special item that may be worth something more than they're going to be thinking about selling. That is great you are one of the things Jean did so well just give her so many kudos for this. The boys started doing laundry pretty young liked him a lot and that there About gender so they proclaim close claim yourself and that she really stuck to that is probably one of those great stories because they are good at doing laundry my do their own longer than I have been for years. You did something similar to do it to do the laundry will laundry on. I always encourage and so I'm big on doing a load of laundry like my own laundry their own laundry once a week because you want your loads to be small and so the smaller the load the easier it is to actually get out and fold it and put it away. It's when you are trying to these massive loads are lots of loads in one day that gets overwhelming. So with the kids I just I train them to do it all on cold and I don't buy a lot of white clothes, and so I kind of others are wise now, and the white because they have, they noted, not washed with everything else.

I'll put it to the site like a put it, usually in our laundry basket.

We do separate are closed in a way to start young and so I have been helping me some of the really little. They are the helpers that are moving it from the washer over to the dryer and helping me bring it out and go through all the different things so so what age do you say you've got it, it's yours.

You do it's really child dependent but usually around five.

I was happy.

Hey, look at all the bleach I'm putting in mom improvise and they usually need some help with folding elements like parts of that, but that's my other tips for kids. The number one will be decluttering but number two is having the right tools and so with the right tools Dell to have more fun with that.

So the tool for laundry them easily on this thing called the flip fold flip fold all online or working on doors used to put the shirt to write you sell fine mean they literally get excited that the day I brought it home.

There like what else can we fall they were taking everything off the hangers to fold them hysterical, but it's still fun it's novelty you're acting like a about hog and so excited about what you need to get yourself flip around one with no because you been doing all that I had a college roommate. The use of doing laundry was after comes out of the washer goes in the basket and your drive legal mess that would be really bad is a friend of yours. It was all I know that for those fold when it comes to kitchen organization with get back there. You say using labels has been a lifesaver for you. Don't tell me you're labeling the soup area not always good okay so you just put what you seriously to use that punch label things like canned goods, how to punch the potential financing went now paper okay so the caveat here you OCD budget is actually an intervention labeling on the shelves. Yes, I did big where families 75 kit another family come and live with that.

And that means six months they had five kids and so we had 10 cans. Oh we jumped. It was like family camp every single day.

I mean it was so fine, but when I would go the refrigerator there be three Apple classes and two or three peanut butter's inside. That was when I don't always recommend it, but when people aren't figuring out where things are. You're wasting food so from even a bike and point it makes sense to label things to my kids now that if it's not on that shelf. Yes please do a quick little glance to see somebody put it somewhere else, but that was the day I started doing our refrigerators. I started labeling things, refrigerator and even just mild labeling, and the pantry because I really needed people to know where things were. Because we were going through food enemy when you're paying for that much food you really need to take and take a step back was the same with what happens. I'm the oldest for my mom really I think you did this to do this. My mom had us choose a glass for the day and there is someplace that I put my glass for the day and nobody else had that same place you've got something similar absolute lonely had the family. As I discussed the water glass is up on console.

But if you got 10 kids go through like like was lying a little to the left of the rhyming, then you have classes everywhere else. We had a spot on the counter and I just got Mason jars and I got these really cute colorful Colossae tape just as colorful tape and everybody decorated their own thing put their name on it and then suddenly we knew who's one of us was his. It was super simple and it kept it to sort of speak to Jim's concern is a balance record you if you grew up in a militant home about place you have kids were nervous of anything. It just depends on the dynamic of money so you don't have to do that to him okay you write one for you now can you set your glass down the last one you sent that class and you decide you forgot your one person. Then multiply that by all the people in the house to probe this will know it's it's teasing you. We mentioned this but I do want to come back and addresses once again for those that may have joined us a little later in the conversation.

There was a study that found that almost 90% of women feel like the cleanliness of their home reflects their success as a wife or mom genus felt that way. That's what burst through the door and make a comment about the garage.

It's not the best way to start my reconnection in the late afternoon when I get home but speak to that woman and then those husbands that may not be understanding what they're doing. Disconnect from their spouses. How does a wife and a mom were not to take that personally. You have to disconnect me, there's definitely have to realize that my worth is in Christ and in my worth is not and how clean my house is that you also I think it's an area that we don't think to discuss with our spouse.

We just kind of every doing their thing and okay can you help, you just can't get stressed and busy, so it's a good time to slow down. Pray together like I was encouraged to pray for vision favorable pray for vision for your home and do that with your spouse and then divide and conquer and figure that out. You have to give yourself grace and I really want to encourage husbands and wives to give each other grace because it's too much and it's a lot to me and I love the fact you're using the word guilt is spiritually speaking. That's the whole ballgame of our behavior. Guilt of our thoughts, guilt in Jesus is come to set us free from the field, maybe even in this area that is a bit winsome. I mean, these are funny things.

We had a great time talking about it, but not to be too serious about this stuff. This is not eternal. In fact, you experienced.

I think of fire down in the San Diego area, which put all of this into perspective what happened. Yeah when we were.

We had two little boys and I was pregnant with our third and the fire was coming right up far back Canyon and so we were told to evacuate, like 2 AM. We got the call you evacuate and we kind of known so idea taken some time to come to think through what should I grab that you grab what input what's most important to you and for us that was now our children, Steve and I got there so that means that you grabbing your important documents and photos.

That was the one of the big things that made the left and a dog and dog that I was proud of myself remembering dog food and we laughed and I will never forget that moment because we got to the hotel. My checking and everything you're watching the news. It was like there can have three days a strong wind. This is the direction it's going, and our house was like in the middle of all of it and said and that's what's of really wild about when you are truly decluttering your home or just trying to organize your home is your trying to free yourself from a lot of the stuff you just don't need it. You can think about that. Both my spiritual standpoint and you know your health standpoint and that's the beauty of these are metaphors this one you know is living out how your books and how you feel about it very much would be rooted in your temperament, your personality, all those things but Chris you done a fantastic job with the mom master organizer of mayhem. Generally, love the title. By the way what. What a great read, and one a great tool to help people get better organized when it comes to their home. So thank you for that. Thanks for being with us and listen. We want to get this tool in your hand. Make a gift of focus for any amount and we will send it as our way of saying thank you you donate on a monthly basis or make a one-time gift and will be happy to send a copy of this great book by Christie Clover mom master organizer of mayhem is our thank you gift for joining the support team numbers 800 K in the word family or stop by the episode notes and will have an opportunity for you donate there and get the book.

Christie just at the interim and make a commitment. I will not complain about the garage to Jean anymore.

That's the impact of what you have done here in the sprocket how Lily really thank you for having me this really has been great and I know a lot of women benefited from what you feared and be sure to join us next time. Just as we hear from Patsy Claremont can be encouragement for you in difficult times for on behalf of Jim Daly of the entire team.

Thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family I'm John Fuller inviting you back once more help you and your family thrive in Christ.

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