The Cause And Cure Of Shame - Part 1

Today on Fellowship in the Word pastor Bill Gebhardt challenges you to become a fully functioning follower of Jesus Christ is a healthy change. Yes, we sin against God.

It drives us to. There's an unhealthy sin against us. Unfortunately, the drug is Lewis Mead states this clearly this sure he said the shore secure for the feeling of shame of being an unacceptable person is the discovery that we are accepted by the grace of the one whose acceptance matters most for joining us today on this additional Fellowship in the Word pastor Bill Gebhardt Fellowship in the Words the radio ministry of Fellowship Bible church located in Metairie, Louisiana doing pastoral number now is once again he shows us how God's word meets our world.

This morning I would like to speak to you about something that virtually all of you experience and some of you are experiencing it. Even now, it's also something that you have probably never really talk to anybody else about want to speak to you by shame. Even a week can clearly define shame. I think we all know the feeling shame is that sense that we have that we have radically disappointed ourselves or others, especially God. Shame tells us that we not merely have done something that was wrong, but that somehow were fundamentally wrong that we are flawed Australian psychoanalyst offered Abner said that shame is linked to any sense of inferiority that we have developmental psychologist Eric Erickson said that that shame is our perpetual identity crisis, it's interesting.

Erickson believes that shame begins with the great toilet training crisis, a very early life Chuck Swindoll says a little bit differently. He said this, he said. Shame comes from years of physical or sexual abuse or the lonely suffering that emerges from disability such as a speech impediments, anxiety reading disorders.

A prison sentence or time spent in a mental institution, rehab clinic shame pushes victims of the corners of the room into the shadows of society.

Shame becomes a relentless accusing voice that whispers in our ears. Your worthless you don't mean anything to anyone.

You're totally unworthy. You will never amount to anything. You blew it.

Your finished see the real issue to me when it comes to shame is profoundly simple what causes it and how is it cured. You see, mankind wasn't created with it, but it shouldn't take us very long to acquire it, open your Bibles to Genesis chapter 2 Genesis chapter 2 verse 22 very familiar passage, the Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which he had taken from the man and he brought her to the man and the man said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.

She should be called woman, Isha, for she was taken out of man. Each for this cause a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife may shall become one flesh. Then Moses wrote this in the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed that amazing. They were not ashamed. They were totally transparent. Physically transparent, psychologically transparent, just imagine what that be like nothing to hide no insecurities, no hidden secrets no greedy aspirations no fears no lust. That's right, no sin whatsoever will we know what happened. We know that they send in that they fell and then in verse eight of chapter 3. Moses writes this they heard the sound of the Lord walking the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden and then the Lord God called to the man and he said to them, where are you and he said I heard the sound of you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked so he had myself.

Don't miss this idea that what shame does to us as people didn't see God. They didn't go to him. They had they covered themselves with fig leaves and they had and it was God who came to them. This is really the first steps of grace in the Bible the very first steps God moving to meet man's need shame was now to become part of the human race, and boy we spent thousands of years making fig leaves hiding trying to be something were not coming. Think of all that. Think of all of the things that happened was shame by the way God shows he wants to deal with it in verse 21.

The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and he called them, God provides the answer.

Fig leaves are never the answer God's provision. He sacrifices an animal in a make skins for them and it covers them, but they continue in their shame. Not only do we try to cover ourselves up and we become by the way, think of is how many of us are preoccupied with our fig leaves me how many times that we just buy clothes for a utilitarian idea that we want to be covered really want somehow to look like something that we think somehow the people solace in a different light date and really nicely dressed, that they would see us in a different way. It's probably just shame really do the same thing with our bodies only. I mean, I think exercising for the sake of health. A wonderful idea, but come on, you really believe most of us exercise or have surgery for health is for health or is an appearance see what's going on inside of us that causes us to do this or something else about shame. It makes you defensive Marie what happened.

God confronts them is what happened here you see what happened here what Adam say I was woman I was just here that she should maybe do this. I have no responsibility what the woman say what the devil he he did it.

He did it. And boy got a shame we have been doing that for centuries. Albert Camus, the French ashes existential philosopher and agnostic if there ever was one road in the fall. Each of us insist on being innocent at all cost. Even if he has to accuse the whole human race in heaven itself, and that's what we do is people because were ashamed when lots are wrote this shame made Adam and Eve fear rejection from God and from each other.

This feeling had them bound they would spend much of their lives seeking new ways to remain hidden, justifying their behavior to others would become their obsession for the most part they would retreat into the Nile simply refusing to admit their personal responsibility, refusing to see themselves as others do, and even insisting what God's word says about the human heart.

Shame. No, I understand the world we live in. If you read any anthropologist or psychologist they will say that all shame is bad categorically, I respectfully disagree. I believe there's a healthy shame and there's an onion healthy shame. Let's take a look at the healthy shame. Let's go to Jeremiah chapter 6, Jeremiah chapter 6. Now there's a prophet where you think it fine. Shame it be Jeremiah Wright. If if you get up in a really good mood and you feel all bubbly. I don't be Jeremiah and your devotions. Okay that's not the kind of book.

Jeremiah is if you feel lousy and you want to feel worse. This is the book for you. Jeremiah is a very depressing book and the reason is that almost every chapter.

Jeremiah is about God being angry and about God's judgment which is coming in chapter 6 is no different. He talks all about the certainty of judgment, but one of the things that God is so upset with these people is there's no healthy shame.

Notice verse 15 Jeremiah writes God speaking. Were they ashamed because of the abomination they have done they were not. He said they were not even ashamed at all. They did not even know how to blush and that interesting that's God's perspective. They want ashamed at all. They didn't even know how to blush. Therefore they shall fall among those who fall at the time that I will punish them they shall be cast down, says the Lord. There is a sense when I sin against God. There is a sense of my shame, that's healthy. Lewis Mead's growth. This a healthy sense of shame is perhaps the surest sign of our divine origin in our human dignity. We are closest to health. When we let ourselves feel the pain of it and be led by the pain to do something about it.

Maybe a better synonym would healthy shame would be this conviction do you feel conviction when you sin against God. Do you feel conviction when you come to God.

You see, that's what healthy shame does healthy shame will get you to the position where you will come to God and if you are God's healthy shame will keep you close to God. The apostle Paul said this in second Corinthians 4. He told the Corinthians that he renounced the things that are hidden in his heart. He said because of shame. In other words, positive things in me that I'm ashamed of. I renounce those things she there's a healthiness to it. But that's not what I want to talk about. Primarily this morning at all. I want to talk about unhealthy shape which I see in people all the time. Believers in Jesus Christ to carry with them unhealthy shame I hate to say this with some of you have probably grown up in a shame-based home is a terrible thing a shame based home. It's sort of like a put a slogan to it. You lived with the you're not good enough syndrome and boy you heard it all the time to create shame. It's an amazing thing.

How children grow and shame.

Shame that is not theirs at all. Shame, not based on their activities but shame based on the activities of the parents. Shame-based their children who are abused physically, sexually abused, and when you talk to them. They feel shame. They feel that somehow they did something wrong. They didn't do anything wrong at all and so many homes when a homelands up in divorce the children feel a sense of shame as though they will respond Constable for something which they were not see a shame based home can be described to me with maybe one word over there is over control there is this whole sense of over discipline over ridicule over criticism happens all the time. You never quite good enough has enormous effect on us when we grow up. John Bradshaw wrote this he said in this dead-end quality of shame is this dead-end quality of shame. That makes it so hopeless the possibility of repair seems foreclosed.

If one is essentially flawed as a human being and is been told that throughout their lives. Add to that the self generating quality of shame and one can see the devastating soul murdering power of neurotic shame. He then says this. No wonder shame lies at the core of so many mental and emotional illnesses. Shame the effects are astounding. Surveys have been done up. People who have been convicted of criminal behavior and one of the most common characteristics. Shame they grew up ashamed, ashamed of their family ashamed of their neighborhood ashamed of their heritage ashamed, ashamed of their lack of ability to achieve and ends up in criminal behavior. People who have trouble.

Shame often paranoid and who can blame him. See that's been the imprint of their lives are whole life. Perfectionism. So many people as adults who are perfectionistic are perfectionistic because somebody told them they were quite get it done right there whole life and so they keep trying harder and harder and harder to be as perfectionistic as possible, sometimes even people who have shame in their life since the early childhood become what is called super passive they become doormat syndrome people. In other words, they lost all self-confidence at all. And all they do is allow people to push them or on their whole lives.

All because of this idea of shame is unhealthy shame. Using the unhealthy shame is the shame that it's not based on your sin, but on the sin of others against you would grow up in a culture.

You know what it's like you grew up you understand it.

There's a certain amount of shame that comes from our culture me. One of the things our culture does is constantly show you images of what the great life is in reminding you that you're not living it. You see, in the light is you feel shame for that particular group of kids you have any any kind of physical abnormality and you had a schoolyard. What happens what happens starts you start believing it you actually start believing it on your own. You spend your whole life about right now. You can always go back to early childhood and you can think of things people said about you and hurt and you still remember now is an amazing thing.

By the way you had friends and teachers, and aunts and uncles.

It said wonderful things about you and you can come up with one of them right now, but you remember those you see that kind of thing produces and you will shame and unhealthy shame since the Garden of Eden God's offer to secure. There is a healthy shame. Yes, we sin against God. It drives us to God. There's an unhealthy shame when people sin against us. And unfortunately that drives us from God. Lewis Mead states this clearly this sure he said the surest cure for the feeling of shame of being an unacceptable person is the discovery that we are accepted by the grace of the one whose acceptance matters most, that secure. You see basically what it means is I see myself as God sees me. I take a bath in the grace of God. You do that you watch shame leave and come right off of you Michelle. Your passage illustrates Joshua chapter 5 Joshua chapter 5 now the book of Joshua tells you immediately. It's the conquest they're going into the promised land. Moses is no longer the leader, Joshua is Israel has spent 400 years. The slaves in 40 years in the wilderness and now they're about to go in and you know what these people are filled with at this time. Shame, shame. By the way, don't you think 400 years of slavery would make you feel shame 400 years, 10 generations of your family slaves. They thought shame, enormous shame. Yes, someone told him that they had been Abraham a covenant that they were going to be blessed and they are the people of God but 400 years of reality told them were ashamed of ourselves. We are owned by other people and then they get out after the deliverance by Moses into the wilderness and instead of going in and taking the land, whether they do, they ignore God.

They didn't believe God.

They were afraid of the enemies when you think that produced shame. These are people just filled with shame and this is what God says to them in Joshua chapter 5 verse six. They're about to enter the land the Lord said to Joshua today. I have rolled away the reproach of Egypt from you.

So the name of that place is called Gill gal. To this day Gill gal means rolling away.

They got a town they named rolling away. Why does God want to town. They rolling away right at the end of the promised land is because that's what I want to do to your shame is that I want just rolled away some amazing thing about God. He doesn't want you to keep that kind of shame. He doesn't want that stigma to be in your life. God says I want to roll your shame away.

I wanted done with it because it's so do you debilitating to us. That's their past. What about yours. You seasonally in your past you just keep holding onto you feel shame and assessment. Someone gave you. Things were said to you how you were victimized or things you've done in nurturing the shame with you glasses Gill gal. This is role that away. She lets be done with that now. If there's one single thing you remember this morning and I always go just for one.

Everything else is laying at this this there's more grace in God's heart than there is shame in your past, there's more grace in God's heart than there is shame in your past is a very important message for you and I do understand God truly understands shame. I mean, you might say, are you sure that he does yes yes I know it. I know it because of the cross in Hebrews chapter 6 the whole book of Hebrews is about a bunch of Jewish believers who decided that it's too difficult to remain a Jewish believer in the world they been saying for 20 or 30 years, but the Jewish community is rejected him. The Greek and Roman communities rejected so they said maybe what we ought to do a service slide back into Judaism and that's why the writer of Hebrews is don't do that. Whatever you do don't do that. And so the whole book is showing why Jesus Christ is the fulfillment of June.

Of Judaism that was a shadow.

He is the substance and so when he gets the chapter 6 they thought maybe we could go back to the sacrificial system of the Jews and the writers is don't you dare do that he so if you do that as a Christian you know what you're going to do you get a read crucified Jesus Christ to keep read crucified was only crucified once and that's forever and it says you better read crucified him and subject him to open shame that the writer of Hebrews understood something that's with the cross is all about the cross is not just about the forgiveness of sin dealing with the shame path you will never on the radio ministry or fellowship in the Lord. If you ever missed one of our broadcast or maybe you just like the sum of the method one more time.

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