Embracing the Better Angels of our Nature

There seems to be appetite in the country right now to reconnect and to avoid the civic divorce. This is mainly policy motors with family Pres. John Weston thanks for joining us this week for family policy matters. Our guest today is dedicated to restoring respectful dialogue and what has become an increasingly hostile and politically polarized country are in fact he is helped to form a new national nonprofit organization focused on providing tangible ways for individuals to embrace what Pres. Abraham Lincoln called the better angels of our nature or guest David Lapp is an affiliate scholar at the Institute for American values coinvestigator of the love and marriage in middle America project, and of particular interest for our discussion today, lead organizer for an organization entitled better angels David Lapp welcome to family policy matters Detroit Algoma show again, thank you, John. It's great to be on the show will greatly appreciate your time out in the past you have been on our program to discuss your excellent research. What led you to make the jump from count of analyzing and studying data to taking this more hands-on approach toward political discussion and engagement in our nation. I as mentioned, I have been working with my wife, Amber lab that we have been interviewing mostly working-class young people to hear their stories about forming families and how their thinking about marriage since 2010 and you know we've always thought about you know the family and marriage. As you know it's it's families and marriages are only as far as strong as the communities that surround them. And really, what better angels is trying to do is trying to strengthen civil society. You know that arena between the individual person and the government's near the private associations their houses of worship at churches is where we come together to work for the common good and fix the problems that address the problems that that we see in the country and so for me of a better angels I got started. After a couple days after the 2016 election. My colleague, David Blankenhorn is the president and founder of better angels called me up and he lives in New York City and he said David it's it's like a morgue up here and I know in New York City. Everyone's depressed and I live in Ohio and I particularly live in a county that is 65% Republican so you know, the county was pretty happy in a couple days after the election and I said well I said David that's interesting. I'm hearing people talk about hope and change, and said this or we we were talking and we said, you know, it really this far apart of the two sides really that far apart that we just can't even imagine. In a continuing chair the country because you know they're already there had been a lot of protests that started and I knew you know that this is that it's much more complicated than this and that there are good people. I deny no good people on both sides. Yes I have on a conservative I approach better angels as a conservative, and so I have my own convictions, but I know that there's good people on both sides, and I know that there's areas where we do agree, and so I just thought that it was that we that it would be a shame if we you basically said that we want to divorce. We want to civic divorce from another unit were no longer one American country working together for you notes to food, to form a more perfect union, but nowhere was this going to condemn each other. It seemed like we could do better than that and we have a long tradition in America of trying to form a more perfect union, and so to me that's what drew me to this project, but finally, also, I just as a Christian you know someone who's trying to follow Jesus. Jesus said blessed are the peacemakers, for they be called children of God and were trying to do here were trying to craft a space where we can be ourselves, but look for those things we hold in common and seeing. Also, we can agree to disagree a little bit more civilly and responsibly help them in the context of that.

What is the goal of better angels and how are you seeking to address the way that we operate within the culture today.

The big goal is to help unify our divided country, and were doing that by one building a better way to talk with each other and then to to participate in public life together so there is a there's a talking in a doing here and we do the talking part, primarily through our red blue workshops and these are typically involve about eight and a conservative Republican leaning people in about eight and a liberal or progressive or Democratic leaning people. It consists of a series of exercises designed to deepen understanding of each other. So were not really focused on persuading the other side to change their political affiliation but going into it with the goal of better understanding how the other side is thinking. And then from that. Also seeing if there are areas of agreement and so for instance, one of the exercises it's the stereotypes exercise the Redskin the group.

The blues get in a group and the question is what are the stereotypes that the other side has about your side you believe exaggerated or unfair. In a follow-up question. If you think there's a kernel of truth to the stereotypes and then there's a discussion among the reds and among the blues about then we come together to share the results of those compensation notes I took it's it's enlightening and eye-opening to see how you the you know reds, a lot of times you will save with the other side just says were racist but on Bill say I'm not racist but here's what I do believe and then you know sometimes blues will say will date the red think that were unpatriotic but know I you know I I love our country and so it is always enlightening to hear how we stereotype each other and how we process those so there's that there's the talking part and were right now in the pilot stage of doing those red blue workshops, but then it is the doing part which is after people participate in these workshops. They have tended to say unit with this is great but we want to keep the conversation going and so like in Ohio where we had the first two red blue workshops.

We formed that we had. We had a follow-up meeting that we formed what we now call a better angels alliance and this is a local group of Ohioans here, reds and blues were meeting monthly to keep the conversation going to begin to identify some areas where we do agree and see if we do some work as citizens on those issues and also just unit continuing to get to know each other terms at the level relations and so those are two ways were doing it and our and our vision, our hope is that citizens across the country are concerned about the divides in our country today that you know they don't just way that we not just wait for the next politician you know war or Washington to to address this, but that was there something that we the people in our communities can do and so the hope is that another ultimately thousands of people who are uniformly these red blue alliances and in their communities. You're listening to policy matters of resource to listen to our radio show online, and someone resources have a place of persuasion in US community.

Our website and see family.org about great sounds like a very laudable goal and much-needed as a matter of fact, how then David does better angels applauded so many you're talking about having these red blue workshops and groups of I just 16 to 20 regular people get together. How do you multiply that across the nation to such a degree that it really will ultimately have an impact, yes, what were beginning to do and where to start in North Carolina in the Raleigh area is were going to have some training workshops for people who are interested in you who have some background in facilitation so we will be training people to lead these red boots off themselves and the ideas that they will you know go into the prisons in Raleigh will be about 30 people who are getting trained and will be from all over North Carolina and even some other states. The idea is that if there is a each redwood workshop is cochaired by a red and blue organizer so that it's always in overdoing this is red and blue together. So if there are is a conservative and you know Republican or Democrat and and let's say you know West North Carolina and they wanted to. A red blue workshop. There will be a you know turned better angels person who could who could go in and help the lead that workshop and so that the model for what will be doing all over the country and really turn the spread that this next year in 2018, and then again it's it's not just the workshop. It's what emerges, would so far has emerged a lot from those workshops is the no core group of citizens, red and blue thing we want to take responsibility for the divisions that are confronting a country we want to do something together and you know that it for us.

That means forming a rebel alliance and so that's the idea that's the idea of how this grows and the other thing I'd add is you were not the only one doing this kind of work. There seems to be appetite in the country right now to reconnect and to avoid the civic divorce and so I think it is a way. If we do our job better angels were just responding to that desire.

So it's not as if were trying to manufacture something that that most of us don't want most of us do want the conversation to be better will sure and I think there is a widespread recognition that the society amazed this hostility that existence is not in the best interest of our country. It's not what we all desire. However, it is interesting to note that this American experiment, even from our very founding seems to involve some level of conflict David from your experience and knowledge of this. What did the founders of our nation see as the appropriate role of conflict and maybe even a necessary role of conflict in a functioning society. Yeah a better angels we think of it as we can have our theory of conflict is that this kind of three approaches the conflict. One is that we are slaves. The conflict that conflict is just the master and rules us all and were just incapable of seeing the other sides and were just all the conflict and that is kind of what happened in a certain sense, you know, after we had the Declaration of Independence in 1776, we first had the articles of Confederation and you know that the founders realized that this we needed a little bit more strong central government to to work through these conflicts in a healthy way so they formed are now our concept of the Constitution that we have and that forming the Constitution was kind of a way of getting at the second idea conflict not being is enslaved by conflict but managing conflict so that we, we, as you said you we acknowledge its presence and we acknowledge that it's no disagreement is as important, if were trying to understand the truth, but the third way is also is that the approach of transforming conflict and in this in a way transforming conflict.

I think that our founders kind of left us a set of ideals to in which we do this so for instance, our national motto.

E pluribus unum is with out of many, one is is of the rustic Latin translation of that and out of many, one so that we are a very diverse country unit with all the current coming from all these different backgrounds, but we are doing what were trying to form a more perfect union were trying to do with all of the you know different backgrounds.

We come from, were trying to kind of form a synthesis e pluribus unum out of many, one that's important idea for us and it means that we are are not just trying to could be mostly moderates, but we think of ourselves as a coalition of Republicans and Democrats, conservatives and liberals coming at the questions and issues as we are, but then allowing ourselves to be open to common ground when there is common ground so that we do not just become slaves of conflict, but that we can find those areas where we do agree and make her country better working our listeners go to learn more about the mission of better angels also stay up-to-date on your activities and events, and please be sure to mention those upcoming events in North Carolina get if you would go to our website better-angels.org and we will be in North Carolina on November 6 of the 13th on November 8 will be in Kinston, North Carolina, November 9, 10th, 11th, will be in Raleigh and then November 13 will be in Hendersonville so if you're in in the area and are interested in participating as a in these workshops or in learning how to lead one of these workshops. We'd love to have you be a part of it.

You can go to your website and you'll see email address that you can wave contacting us here is I and with that they don't want to thank you so much for being with us on family policy matters and for your work to help restore productive and respectful vowels in American culture. Thank you very much listening to family policy matters production ends to listen to our radio show online resources and information about issues important to families in North Carolina website family.org follow us on Twitter and Facebook