Hillary Morgan Ferrer: Mama Bear Apologetics

Mama bear apologetics.

It's like doing what ever you have to do to protect your child no matter how much you don't want to do it but if it can to protect your child get a rise up and do it do it with fury. What if we could take that monetary instinct and she liked Cory looking at challenges and defenses of the Christian faith. Welcome to family life today.

We want to help you pursue the relationships that matter most and Wilson Wilson.

You can find us if we live today.com or on our family life, family life today. Okay, so if you think back to when we raise our boys. You know before they're out of the house. No grandkids. What would you say is apparent was your biggest concerns spiritually for their lives.

What I hoped was that they would walk with Jesus and be totally surrendered to him. My concern is that I would fail and being able to communicate that I have so many and my fear was that the world would shape them instead of the gospel. Yet, I thought you'd say some like that. One of my fears was that their faith would be so shallow that when they left our home destroyed why there is part of me as a dad at least asked her.

Yeah, that's part of the reason is like in my giving them enough depth foundation so that when those beliefs are challenges they can stand up sooner with your sands alive.

Because of this, and I think so many parents worry about that, especially when our kids leave the house and they go to college tell you that. So I would talk about this today. Yes, because we have the woman that can help us really do this, we have the mama bear Henry Morgan for rare in our studio and again you get those in a minute why you're called the mama bear apologetics, but all welcome for today. Thank you, thank you for having me I had a great time so far that when I picked up your book, you don't.

I know you've written a couple. But mama bear apologetics empowering your kids to challenge cultural lies, of course, my first question was, what is a mama bear and what does that every woman is like I don't know I just know I am one in the matter like that mean that get going all philosophical there so I thought of it. There was a woman. I think we have this in the introduction to the book where she was talking about how she had raised her boys in the church and that she had a gondola wanted a Ghanaian youth group and one of them had even rededicated his life and when he went away to college. He was fine.

It wasn't until his first job that his boss basically said Jesus is like Santa Claus for adults and for some reason that just rocked him and so she was talking about how every time he came home she was saying okay, tell me your questions, and she would go in research.

She wasn't academically inclined. She was a fitness instructor with kind words you know like the physical stuff that she would dive into apologetics in philosophy and history in geology. Whatever it was that he needed to have a question answered she was going to do. I thought instinct that I don't think we've really seen, but I can almost have it. It's doing what ever you have to do to protect your child no matter how much you don't want to do it but if it can to protect your child, you rise up and do it do it with fury.

That's a mama bear – asked her kids that I love that she was super intentional was an even worse thing, knowing what he thought protect my kids and protect his son dig in and find out so you started in ministry. Yeah I never thought it would become what it become today, but I just thought you mama bear apologetics.

It's like I just had this phrase going through my head of what if we could take that mama bear instinct and channel it towards looking at challenges and defenses of the Christian faith and credit just repackage it like that because a lot of times I think people think of apologetics is trying to either talk to people who are unconverted are trying to answer skeptics or atheists which very rarely are you really full successful apologetics used in that way.

Apologetics was introduced to me when I was young and I attribute it to the reason why I never walked away from the faith, because I couldn't.

I know what I knew and I just knew that I knew that I knew because of the evidences for the resurrection evidences for the reliability of the New Testament documents I was grounded in.at age 12, was when it was introduced to me by my pastor and walking away from the faith. I felt like I would have to check my brain at the door to walk away from the faith which is able to bridge the door to become parents, though, are called to develop our children's faith.

But why mom's you know what, so that I came across this quote saying that the average mom, especially of young children gets more questions per hour than the Queen of England does in an interview told lysine that I was that child and so it's like monsters had the questions kids come to mom with the questions first when my ministry partners. Amy and I saw some research on it that basically everything kids were asked who you asked first. For this type of question. This type of question all age groups and everything.

It was always mom until it was like maybe in the midteens and politics that they would go to mom first and so I thought this is the one we need to be equipping and I also noticed every other conference will happen at church the hot childcare until you go to an apologetics conference and then there's not child care and so since a lot of times men have traditionally been more interested in apologetics. The men of God and the women have stayed home to someone has to take care of the kids and so I thought we need to be reaching them with that they are that apologist you can have in every home that are very very motivated to see their child grow in this area just because of that nurturing aspects of being a mama bear that is so true. Like wow that is a unique perspective you think water women. But there's also the side were a lot of women might look at your background and go well, you know, Hillary is school that you have a Masters in biology.

I'm sure the sciences are big in your brain.

A lot of men and women would say what's on my background like I'm down my brain cells are gone and I can even make dinner knowing to have and now I need to do apologetics with my kids yeah and so I very purposely wanted to make the books fun and funny wants to read a textbook when you got soccer practice and dinner and folding the laundry like so. We started out thinking we are going to mostly do audio stuff because I think women have this unique ability to listen to a conversation, not a lecture, a conversation no matter what they're doing because everybody knows the mind is like talking to someone else and screamed something across the house. She ordered part of that conversation. So like I wanted everything that we did to be very conversational and so I purposely much harder to take a lot of that the book learning in the philosophy and to boil it down in a way that is fun and funny that is much harder than writing for academic stuff and so it really was a challenge, but I wanted to make it to where mom felt like I can do this week we can all do in fact have my email signature were all in this together. So yeah so that's that's what we really aim for. With the book when the publisher came and asked us for what some people might be listening going okay. I'm sure I understand the word, apologetics were using it in your title were just talking like we know apologize and for some exactly as so exploited help us understand what it means that the Greek word Apple again. That means to give a defense for so for the ones that are growing up in a Christian family, not necessarily having to defend them against their objections, but your building up their faith to where it is firm foundation that can withhold the questions from science and from philosophy from archaeology all those different things and it's just building a more robust faith. My husband and I had so many people challenge us on this same well if you knew everything and why would you need anything you can't argue people into the kingdom.

I mean even you name it we've heard it but I like the passage from Hebrews 11 where it talks about how faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see. And I'm not sure which version that's and that's when I guess I memorized when I was in high school or middle school whenever so it makes you more sure in more certain, which it is the evidential aspect of the faith, anything that makes you stronger about this more sure, more certain that actually increases your faith.

I think a lot of times people don't understand that because they have this bogus definition of faith where I was at Roy Rogers faith is believing in something you know ain't so definition of Christian faith. It's like you would not say I have faith in my accountant. If you would never work with that account before.

It's because they faithfully follow through and you seemed evidences of them being faithful.

That's why you have faith in them and it's the same way with Christ that we see how all the claims that we see in the Bible can withstand any kind objections the world has to throw at it and we can say because of that my faith is even stronger. So Hillary when should we start times – I got when she we start talking about this stuff in teaching golly, I don't think it's ever too young. I mean of course we want to start out with the basics they need to know what were believing that once they get to the point where they can start asking questions, answering those questions I think needs to be a part of our regular discipleship because one of the things I think that happens with kids is that every time either question is answered or answered poorly or just left you decide to come stick that in their back pocket thinking all that's too bad. In one day. If something really big happens either something emotional or sin that they don't want to give up all of a sudden they want to walk away from the faith in the pull out that list of questions they never had answered, but in my experience from growing up with apologetics. What I discovered was whenever I had these even questions. I didn't know I had because I didn't know I had these questions when it was first presented to me, but I had this history of really tough questions have really good answers. And so whenever we get to a point where there was a tough question that I didn't have the answer to. I could at that point in faith say there's probably a good answer to that.

If I look for it and if I had always had the experience of there's not good answers. I wouldn't even go looking for them. Okay I have a question for you because this happened in our house and can you answer the our son was for and we had been reading about King David and Goliath and so we read the whole story went through it and then he's going to bed because mom so David loves God's family Guy and then he cuts off Goliath's head.

Why is it okay for David to kill someone. But then it also says in the Bible that we shouldn't kill anyone, which is such a good question for a four-year-old or any age that scroll through the smartest kids yeah now I think that that would probably be going into the difference between war and murder. I think there is a difference in that in these were the people. If you look at them. They were taunting and mocking the living God, and God in the time Israel was showing his eyes God when you had all these other gods that people would claim think I am glorifying the Lord over all these other gods. Yeah. So I think God sometimes uses people to execute judgment. Now, I don't think he does that today with our lives now, but back when you had a theocracy, as opposed to a government. The Lord had the right to have capital punishment, and he had the right to ask people to execute capital punishment. So I guess I would talk to them about the laws of the land versus the laws of God.

What kind of government were inasmuch a zeal for your younger looking understand that and that's pretty much what you answer Dave that I love my love when Dave said no is my Papa bear, I know this is only the beginning of questions that are going to be difficult, but I love that Dave walked into the room.

He said I'm so excited that you're asking those kind of question, yes, even that great question and to be excited and not fearful when our kids pose those questions any sort is apparently my perspective is I wanted him to be asking questions word that way. I'm always as I want to dig deeper. There was never fearful to me. It was like exciting like I'd rather have them asking them while they're still under our roof. Then later the a course to keep asking them, but I wanted to encourage it.

Yeah but at the same time. I think a lot of parents are afraid of it. Maybe because they don't know yet what they believe in what they're going to tell you how to help them. They need to get all of Hillary stuff they will know I would say just that in the idea of encouraging questions like that is evidence that your child is trying to piece together this worldview and you want your child to piece together the worldview because it fit here. She pieces it together with you, then it can be a lot harder to destroy than if someone piece it together for him and then someone comes above the table, visible puzzle. There also know how everything fits together because he didn't put it together in the first place. And I know you do this almost daily now with especially mom how are you helping them ground their own faith so that they can answer and pass it on to her kids.

Yeah, there was a study done I believe by Fuller youth Institute that talked about doubt in one of the things that they said that helps alleviate doubts was just being able to express the questions and so many people who walked away from the church instead the church was hostile to my question so it's I think we want to be encouraged that sometimes you don't even have to have all the answers, encouraging them to ask the question is get at least take away some of that, you know, just the wind out of the intensity of it. So encouraging the questions first and then maybe happy about this is one of the things that that I would love to do is have a book where if we are really good question was to write it down the book and then were to spend some time with the family. Sometimes researching this or finding a book that we want to read together like maybe we notice a bunch of these questions have a similar theme okay will let consorts to see if there's a book out there that answers a lot of these and so start going through that together and so it happened that follow-through but you don't have to have all the answers right away. So there's that and there's also if they're young enough and this is like if you get young enough presenting the question before they have the question where they got.

I guess that's a good question so they like Natosha Crane's books are great for that has a kind of different questions and discussion guides that you can go through. We start doing that as a family you actually preempt some of the questions.

So parents need to know that you don't always have to have the answer right off the bat, just encouraging the question itself that creates a safe and opening environment for your child's face time to go that such a good idea to sit at the table and even this procedure.

Kids get older. One of the questions you have about the Bible about God, let's just talk about those and I like the idea of writing them in the book because your kids to think that taking like this is for real and working to talk about it and saying they know all the answers but they're saying like, let's research that let's find out more.

I think that that's a great posture because it's teaching our families and kids how to become biblical thinkers, and I think that's really important. One of the questions that I think a lot of parents have is our kids walking away you know you should hear that our kids are grown up in our homes and maybe going to youth groups may be part of our church and I want to go to college or leave at least you here they're all walking away or not all walk away. But what is happening yet. So were seen it like walking away from what are they walking away from church. Are they walking away from Orthodox Christian belief because I think we would be surprised at how many people who claim to be Christians actually don't believe what the Bible actually teaches.

So first off that and second all people notice when they walk away in college, but a lot of times the process started much earlier in a lot time somewhere around middle school, middle school and high schools when that process started. And they keep going to church because that's what their family does. That's what their parents do, but mentally they have already kinda started to distance themselves and there are some who do return and who do come back. I think we have all the statistics in chapter 1, which I can't remember off the top my head, but I think especially now we have even more that are leaving so I think IP researches came out for the people who identify as a religious nut and were not talking about none like a Catholic nun, but in O and E back in 1950 was 3% and then in the 90s that when next I think 8% and then maybe 2014. It was up into the 21% and now it's almost 1/3 of all adults say that there no have no religious preference, but then you look at the ones that still do have a religious preference, and what do they actually believe about the Bible and it is not a biblical worldview.

So I think we need to get past this idea that were living in a Christian nation. This is a post-Christian nation and we can't rely on culture to reinforce these ideas.

I think even back when I was young we still had a lot of positive peer pressure for church, especially in the South for church and for religion for Christianity, but that's not assumed anymore. It's like we kinda have to almost be treating this like were raising kids in a semi-hostile territory, and so being able to establish their cultural identity as a Christian thing.

This is what our family follows. This is what we believe this is why we believe it and this is how we are going to separate ourselves from the rest the world while still loving those who are around us. It's a completely different calling, and what we had before. But anyway I do think the statistics are showing that so many are walking away, but not all of them. So here's my question, parent, raise my kids the way I hope I want to resume seeing them come to Christ in faith may be in their middle school years, or even earlier high school, but I'm starting to see them walk away whenever we define letters from their parents, faith, or from the faith they once professed. We do not.

A mama bear a mama bear or probably are when you start to see this drift and it's the opposite. What we dream girl life and there it is right in front of us is maybe still in our home but we do that's David and Wilson with Hillary Morgan Ferrer on family life today will hear Hillary's response in just a second.

The first is a listener at family life today. You have heard many stories of how God can do amazing work in even the toughest marriages and the amazing thing is that God chooses to use people just like you to help one way you can make an impact for more marriages and families is by financially partnering with family life today all this week is our thanks for your partnership. We want to send you a copy of Hilary Ferris book is our thanks is called mama bear apologetics you can get your copy when you give this week in family life today.com or when you call with your donation at 803 five 832-9800 FS in family L as in life, and then the word today. Right now, back to Dave and Anne's conversation with Hillary fair about what we do when we start to see our kids walk away from the faith.

I think that's where you start you start asking questions and you really start listening because a lot of times there is going to be a root and it might be a root that's different than what is expressed to you right now.

Personally, from what I've seen, and from what I've heard from a lot of parents is that the root right now is said gender and sexual identity that it's actually messing with this idea of what does it mean to be male. What is it mean to be female because if we don't have male and female, we don't even know what that is that we don't know what the image of God is image and likeness of God. If we don't know what the image and likeness of God is we don't know who it is that were worshiping and so it's kind of one of the things that staff might have to refer to it is kinda long game in terms of falling away and in terms of what the enemy is actually attacking.

He may not be going straightaway for that faith. He might be going for foundation to that faith right now that just the whole LGBT movement I think is undermining a lot of things and you'll see kids start to fall in line with culture on that and it kinda slowly starts morphing them in their ability to see God accurately. So that's one thing.

Sometimes it can be something emotional that's been going on where they don't understand the goodness of God because their suffering. In a way that we can't see we look at the mental health statistics for young people especially, basically, once you introduce the smart phone mental health issues have been steadily rising since that time, and so I would start looking at what some of the roots are talking to them see what they actually believe and then loving them through that because I me back before we had any of this technology we all still had identity crises at that age and how much more compounded is that now, which is all the technology that we have so you're saying like getting there. Know your kids ask them questions. I think sometimes as parents we can get fearful and so we pull away thinking, oh no oh no, but I think his parents to first like get on your knees.

I've prayed countless hours for my kids and and I have this this place in the woods where I have these rocks. I have dates on the rock. What I've prayed for, and I've created like an altar monument. I just went back to it the other day makes me teary because my dad just passed away and my mom not too long ago and I put their dates on there and I just thank God, like loud.

This is been an answer prayer what you've done and my parents arrived I can't type hundreds hundreds of these little rocks like I'm praying this for my kids. Like when you feel like they're slipping or their questioning to not run away from it. The first go to the father who already knows what's happening and loves them but then to start asking Mike kids questions like a sweats clan what you think and don't jump on their answer in fear like that's wrong and you should be thinking that it's that question of tell me more, and that's interesting and even ask this question.

If your kids feel like they are not an answer truthfully – then this lady friends but a kid in school. Yes, that's a good way of kinda getting around at what you hear other people in school saying about XYZ topic. That way it depersonalize is it's not is what I think it's heard this, and they can interact with that idea without feeling like it's going to be a person yes that my excellent parents are going to freak out if I yeah I'm feeling this they say my friends and don't. I made this mistake. One time I remember saying to myself always that that that kid to smoke pot. I said is a bad mom because he smokes pot. Is that what he is. I've learned like, don't judge the kids and what they're doing or what they're feeling or what they're saying but asked genuine questions like, tell me more like about your friends what their thinking. But don't place judgment of good or bad on their friends for thinking that you be careful because God loves all of us and sees a soft and I love the prayer you put in your book you wrote down my notes just a sample prayer reduces help me to teach my children to hold the biblical rather than cultural definitions.

May my children never align the Bible to their thinking, but rather align their thinking to your word of God. Just thought what a beautiful prayer for us as parents were things that we mentioned your many times is when our oldest CJ was born 36 years ago I took Fridays and started fasting. I thought I do that for couple lines tell you how powerful fasting is an especially for I don't know if this is an isolated thing, but having a male in authority, my husband fast for me.

In the meantime say it's not very often. He loves his food but I get to the point of where there's so much chaos in my brain and I can't even think straight and when I can even pray for me anymore. I'll say John it's time I need you to fast for me it's like for those days that he's fasting there really is something special to how there's just this. I know it's like being in the pouring rain and some just puts an umbrella over you for that period of time and discoveries you so could you for fasting for your kids that I think spiritual strongholds get broken you with fasting and I don't know why I don't I can explain it, but there's something about it.

36 years and now I just sent to the parent whose baby fearful of what their children are walking into her what they're starting to believe you can pick up mama bear apologetics, which would be very helpful and I'd say you also have to get on your knees and say God I can't do this. Only you can do this and I'm going to surrender again my child to you asking you to do a miracle even listening to David and Wilson with Hillary Morgan Farrar on family life today.

The book is called mama bear apologetics and you can get your copy when you give this week@familylifetoday.com.

If you know anyone who needs to hear conversations just like the one you heard today would love it if you tell them about this station you can share today specific conversation from wherever you get your podcast and why are there a simple way you can help more people discover God's plan for families by leaving a rating and review for family life today for tomorrow David and Wilson will continue their conversation with Hillary fair when she lays down some easy realistic ways to start engaging your kids to build their biblical foundation on behalf of David and Wilson. I'm Shelby Abbott will see you back next time for another edition of family life today. Family life today is a production of family life accrue ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most