Laura Story: The Change You Never Wanted

We'd like each other. We didn't like ourselves and it just is a tough time and a lot of it was because we just kind of putting on a happy face, rather than acknowledging that the change we've gone through was hard. The loss we experienced was real, and once we had people help us understand what good biblical grief looks like we could really grief the things that we had lost welcome to family life today. We want to help the relationship. You can find his way we live today that family life.

So it is an everyday singer-songwriter in the studio all your guitar playing the guitar besides me and my band together to get a baseball yeah Laura story back in his life today and she's get the guitar in her hand. Borrower I did that you're here again I meet this week to be with you guys fun yet so what. When we got here and have a new song book out called.

There was also normal in the song is called hello unknown and so it has been forced to embrace a new normal 15 days to stop the spread of the original thought and even asking the question of winning things and get back to normal.

We can all realize we are so prone to want things to be found to be normal again or want things to be sturdy again. This song talks about just the excitement of planting bigger then just returning to in think it's Ephesians, Paul said it talks about God doing exceedingly more than we can think or ask Ephesians 320 favorite life verses here reminded that normal is way too small for God for what God has in store for us children. This is only you and you and not one of with that song means to you as you walk through. We all have leaving normal as you write about so long, normal, how do you get excitement about the abnormal not abnormal but is not normal.

So you write a song in a positive note of what we've been through, but you're always looking at now what is ahead. And this is a good place to be that we've left normal and one of your lines as were freefalling yeah Jesus went to sound like I haven't grieved it all of the Outlook client normal here, but the loss of things, whether that's with because of it, or even with our own story with Martin and I and the things we walk through our marriage our family with his brain injury the very beginning of it all.

We spent our first link for five years in a little bit of denial, I'd say that we definitely were much we were in denial but as believers we didn't know how to grieve when we knew that we had gone through this complete change and where expectations seem to of been dashed.

In a lot of ways and everything about our future ended up looking different, but as believers, I think we kind of felt like we needed to just cut up one of those Romans 828 bandages on it and go. We believe all things working together for God we trust God believing dreams consider it all joy, my brothers, when they encounter trials and so when you're not counting it all joy you just kind of feel like a lousy Christian must not trust God. And so it was probably five years into things with Martin's brain injury that we kind of were at the place in our marriage in our personal lives, where is very much a crisis of faith is what we didn't like each other. We didn't like ourselves and it just was a tough time and a lot of it was because we are just kind of putting on a happy face, rather than acknowledging that the change we've gone through was hard. The loss we experienced was real, and once we had people help us understand what good biblical grief looks like we could really grief the things that we had lost her with what does that look like yeah one thing acknowledging that that grief is not the opposite of faith. For a while I for some reason I just thought I can't be sad about what happened. If I really trusted God to work together for good one Psalm that was especially helpful. Psalm 13 where the psalmist said things the God that I would like like a bad Facebook grant. I'm going to get in the Bible. He says how long the Lord, we forget me forever. How long will you hide your face from me.

How long will I take solace in mice and justice this long complaint. He was just being honest about how weary his soul was in you and you see that in different places in the Psalms did you read that and think that is me. That's exactly what I there so many moments when were honest, that it does feel like God's hiding progress or it does feel like he has forsaken us.

We know that his promises are true, but somehow we can't quite figure out why it doesn't seem to be applying to me in this particular situation. I'm thinking of the people that have lost loved ones. Coping can even be with them that deserves to be grieved, you're saying yes. Especially when you thinking about God. I know that he has this plan for abundant life from me and inherent you're going to the situation, your husband has his brain injury that you've prayed and prayed every day for God to heal and he hasn't yet. You're going to really does feel like you have forsaken me, and so I think being able to be honest about that was really helpful but I love even in that Psalm, the psalmist doesn't stop there looking at it yes and it said six short verses you yet you have time to stop whatever you do to stop and read it to us.

Okay grieving and it is written by David versus how long the Lord will you forget me forever. How long will you hide your face from me. How long was there to counsel my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day. How long shall my enemy be exalted over me.

That's just to versus an inverse reconsider and answer me oh Lord my God lift up my eyes lest I sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemies say I have prevailed over him, lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken in the last 2222 W. one turns but I have trusted in your steadfast love. My heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord because he is still bountifully with me going you think about what David lays out there. He begins his worship of God with honesty.

He begins it with his grief. It's not with the check in at the door and put on. :-) As we come to church yet, but he's honest with God about the sorry that he feels he doesn't stay there in the Bible talks about us grieving but not as those without hope, and love just that even the progression there of what's our role in this were honest before God and then we trust that have trusted your lovingkindness, my heart will rejoice in your salvation.

And then I think this is especially special for me because I will sing that for you to because you have dealt bountifully with me and it keeps turning around and looking at his life in God's track record of faithfulness and he says that is worth singing about it.

I think sometimes when we read a song like that. We tend to think it's quick six verses of verse one is how long. Verse six is trusted and singing like a two minutes, but it often can take days, months for you to gear so takes years. Also I guy I appreciate the progression in the Psalm, but I don't necessarily that he moved from a place of grieving to a place of rejoicing.

I think what I've learned that you couldn't yes can happen simultaneously and your praise can begin prior to you. Understanding why the things that are happening to you are happening your praise is. It's kind of your response in the waiting worship isn't that this thing you do after that's explained that it's this thing. You especially like a Job. It's not at the end that he says that he slay me worship is not when he begins to see God's hand more clearly is in the midst of it. He says not only Landon to get through this is to continue to sing it from me, as I've just five years I talked about you know us, hitting a really hard season for each of us personally and press enter marriage and I wrote all say a journal entry that ended up being a song and it was probably the most honest in the most vulnerable I've ever been in songwriting that is a song called blessings and I began by talking about my fears and my doubts and then asking these questions of you have God. Is it possible that you could use all this pain for your glory. Is it possible that it's the sleepless nights that are actually providing me that closeness that have so long prayed for half with you it was that song again not writing about something some trees that I've mastered, but I feel like it's what God knew that I needed to saying night after night for the next 10 years. And because it's not about everything is resolved in my soul can be okay. It's no long as I have the Lord as long as he is with me as long as I'm clinging to his promises. Things don't have to be okay in order for me to be okay. The first time I heard that song where I can remember where I was. Funny how some kind of connect. Remember I was driving on the highway and I turned because I had never heard it was new, turned it up and I just wept because I was thinking how some is being Inc. credibly honest of what this feels like when you're in pain so much truth, even though I'm one of the thousand sleepless nights you hear them like a thousand nice, but the presence of God and that is even worth it tells the story about your kids well really about my kids. It's more about me and how you find out more about what you believe when you have kids you see what you're modeling because they'll really tell you out yet so they will call. They will definitely call it out and one of the verses that thinking about more now being a parent is in Romans five where Paul talks about rejoice in your suffering because suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and it's so often is apparent like I want to see my kids growing those virtues during think there you don't want to go through pain. Now the thing and it's been that's been hard taking up with my kids that my job is and sincerely to protect them from suffering or to teach them to wiggle out of situations that are hard, because I truly want to see that in their lives, but I'm just as guilty just as guilty of wanting to learn things like endurance and character, and hope we have through the latest Bible study or you learn these things some other way, but Scripture so clear and they are but through Scripture talking about deep work of the spirit comes only through how we meet with God, suffering i.e. different based on the suffering that you've been through so absolutely you be hadn't gone through. Not as different as I wish I was selling out as much like Jesus as I wish I was that there has been somewhat of a freedom yet the problem is 31 woman he laughs that the days to come is been somewhat of a freedom when your life gets not so far off the tracks that you think this idea was a family trying to keep up with the Joneses different. Our life looks different than most people's lives. The best option for us.

And there's something that's freeing about something that's freeing about how we have to function because of my husband's disability case that we have one driver in the family. Martin's unable to drive because of his vision, so we do less activities. I don't think were going to get to heaven and go. I just wish I'd been busier saying wow to bad guys.

I plan for you to do a lot of activity that is exactly right or or with Martin Luther's disability. Sometimes we just can't move at as quick of a pace it's just how we are and so we we find ourselves just going at a slower pace sometimes and that's always a blessing we've learned so much about how our greatest fear having kids was how Martin's disability would negatively affect our children okay that was Martin's greatest fear.

I knew God would take care of it, but I think I'm really being honest. That was a big fear might as well and what were seeing and learning is yes, things look different for our kids. Yes there's limitations that we can't when I can sugarcoat but Martin's disability has been one of the clearest ways we've seen God work in a family.

One of the clearest ways we think.

I work in the lives of our children. I was picking up Jesse from preschool.

This was a few years ago and I get on the road with may still be on the road until like late at night or early in the morning however you want to see it and we had one of those I brought Desi to preschool on only five hours of sleep I get, but I was picking her up and the teacher said can I speak to you know is he pulled me aside and she said I want to brag on Jesse for a second thing again, this is not at all and she tells me about a boy who is doing their class who had some pretty severe learning disabilities and how Josie had been so just kind of attuned to making sure he was getting in the line when he needed to make sure he was keeping up with everything in the question she asked me questions. He asked me said so what have you done as a mom to teach Josie to be so compassionate toward people with disabilities. Just wanted to laugh but in that week. I just had such a tough week. I think I've been driving around so much and I'd been working so hard and sometimes it's like I know you're working it all together for good, now I'm just not seeing it that she asked me this and I had opportunity to say to her, you know my husband has a brain injury and pretty severe learning disability and that is what God has used, to develop character, endurance, and that hope in our children because he promises he's not gonna waste our suffering knees. I remember Chuck Swindoll, years ago, I heard him say, your pain will never be in vain. And I've heard so many pastors and Dave you said this is our pain when we give it to God can become our platform some ways, thinking about your daughter who knows what God will do with that. Your kids their heart and compassion you know is shaping them in their character and beautiful way that you have never chosen for your chosen God and his goodness and mercy as I look back on my life.

The areas that been the most and most uncomfortable are the prime areas that God's work in my life to bring me not only closer to him, but closer to my spouse closer to my kids.

The fact is you lean on God more.

When you're in places of discomfort. David and Wilson have been talking today with Laura story and she is pointed out that principle to us what we want to be normal is often not what God wants for our lives because we want normal to be easy.

And God wants to use the circumstances and people in our lives to draw us closer to him to go to deeper and become more godly people. Laura has written a book called so long, normal living and loving the freefall of faith. This is a book that talks about things like finding true community and encouragement in our struggles with uncertainty, discovering comforts and gifts to steady us on our journey as opposed to releasing us from our difficult circumstances when you head over to family life to a.com and make a donation of any amount we are to send you a copy of Laura story's book so long normal as a way of saying thank you for contributing to the ministry effort of family life.

We care about getting resources like this into your hands into the hands of anyone so that God will be glorified not only in our personal lives, but in our marriages as we parent and as were neighbors as well. Again, you could head over to our website. Family life to a.com, make a donation of any amount and will send you a copy of Laura story's book or you could call at 1-800-358-6329 that's one 800 F is an family L as in life, and then the word today and while you're at family life today.com if you wanted to see Laura story form.

Her song hello unknown you did that in the family life Studios you could find that link to family life.com and watch the video of her performance tomorrow.

David and will be talking with Elise Fitzpatrick and Eric Shoemaker about gender rethinking our identities and roles and relationships around right with the culture on behalf of David and Wilson.

I'm she'll be back next time for another edition of family life, family life today is a production of helping you pursue the really