It’s Never About You

Eagle and Americans were very big argument around locker room drink beer was like an eagle on the loud talking gossip three letter word Eagle easing God out. And that's what most guys end up doing date. He's got out of their life and apply God for themselves and family like today where we might help you pursue relationships that matter most and will think and I'm Dave Wilson and you can find this in family life today.com or on our family life and death family life today after 33 seasons of working in the NFL as a chaplain.

One of the things we've seen, I think, is that so many players find their identity in their job absolutely almost like they do not know who they are. Apart from right that identity and we had a chance to work with both husbands and wives and the divorce rate among pro athletes is about 85% and a lot of times that divorce doesn't come until after they're done playing, and I think part of the reason is this, because apart from their sport. These guys don't know who they spend their dinner, their whole life and I hate to admit this but when I finished playing just college ball but when I finish planning I became the chaplain of the Nebraska corn huskers. I would be introduced didn't say All-American quarterback didn't say that they just say they will seize on staff with athletes in action. I literally did know who I was. Apart from that, so I said in one night.

This is so embarrassing. Hey, you know, I'm introducing only knows I'm actually somebody I did something so could you throw it in because I can't go hey, I was so could you just throw it in and say hey and my husband is a minister sounds pretty lame Tired to so tell him what you did, I did help you with what you talk about not knowing identity was totally tied to some I did on the football field is ridiculous.

Will we have a couple with us today who has the title of incredible sports legacy but it's not there identity Darrell strawberry and his wife Tracy are with us. Many already know Darrell from major league baseball but they don't know Tracy and she is dynamite yeah and so welcome to family life today. Things are having us there were glad to have you here.

Have you played 17 years in league All-Star games World Series titles you know in 30 years with the lines you know I didn't ever get to Super Bowl anywhere. It's a whole or, thanks Eric. You got there I got to the very top and you've written a book or times, four times written a book called turn your season around how God transforms your life.

And I gotta be honest the first time I heard the Darrell strawberry had become a Christian. I was that skeptic only have her do you know the pro athlete, the celebrity, the movie star gives life to Christ will see hello that last I got Riyaz that was my first thought and then when I met you, not just here but in other places it and then I heard you test my Mike, my goodness, just the real deal. This man's he loves Jesus on have you ever heard that before.

You know, could a lot of people think that worry yeah how could that happen from the lifestyle you broken the Savoy was what we saw all the headlines and stories and jail all the rational just so many different things and people say there's no way there's no way now is also to talk about Jesus course lot much he may start that way to form treatment soon but would like will see how long this love was been about 19 years now will still be walking with Jesus.

And it's a great walk on. It's not a man's transformation in Scott's transformation and see what we experience out in our life are real and we don't straddle the fence and don't be a hypocrite no more, and talk about Jesus just send his name and known norms power, which is far greater than just knowing his name I think too many professional people have that oh yeah, praise God, thank God, glory to God, but they never have that real transformation encounter with Christ as our guy came to the place where I had an encounter with Christ, for real and not really am so grateful that I had to encounter and just ignore his name anymore because we have the wrong identity because we been built with this new identity of who we are and what we do instead of you know we are in the character of who we are just two different places know that people go to your what we do has nothing to do with character. Yeah, it's a big difference in the character of a man of the character of a man when he comes to know God. He starts to shape his life in God's plan and he becomes a different person. He walks a different way he talks and therefore you ask of the foyer and so a lot of the guys that I play with her so way for me to come back is still hanging out is like will have it back.

One day Walt I think some of them were truly convinced that he's not coming back. He's gone, he's what he was really serious about. He's a new creation.

Praise God, born of a different spirit. You live a different way to know and understand the biblical principles and live according to that always told me doesn't make me better than anyone.

I just made it final decision that I was going to follow Jesus. I was on the line myself. Also pick up my cross and I was going to follow Jesus and that's what a real believer becomes about when he denies himself so was no longer about me.

Nuno Eagle and the man is very big you been around locker rooms and you know was like an eagle on the loud talking gossip three letter word ego using God and that's what most guys end up doing. They ease God out of your life and apply God for themselves and they run raggedy until it's over. And nowhere else to go and hopefully it's not too late that they can look up just like I was able to before was too late and what I mean by too late when you did. You can't find your people always and will how did you find Jesus. Jesus never billows what you find Jesus eating lasagna is just waiting for you and for you, make a commitment you to surrender yourself to him. He's always been waiting for you. He always will be waiting for you so hopefully more guys who play professional sports will have that encounter your why the plan sports are after the dumb plan sports but hopefully get to the place of have an encounter with Christ so they can identify themselves of the right person will talk about a little bit. The new creation part because we've Artie talked about you know you get to the big C end up addicted you and $3 million in debt your sword in the gutter when you said that I thought always just tongue, but know you're almost like literally in the gutter and Tracy and you walk into each other's lives at a rehab center right rehab convention where you're both there to try and get your broken lives back together. Talk about what happened then because Tracy really you had a major impact and Tracy you are at a point where you are about to lose custody of your kids yes because of your own addiction. But you had given your life to Christ. Yes, and you wanted to follow him and begin a new asset so you walk in to this convention. You see, Darrell, and you see something and something that we talked about earlier something. His mom saw he saw the greatness she had been praying for years and you saw the same thing. Yes, I saw the same thing and it's amazing where God will keep placing his message in your life through different people over and over and over again the same message that Darrell's mom had for him was the same message that God put into me yeah because even though his mother crossed over because a Christian never dies, his message will never die. It's not just going to stop there.

He's going to send someone else to speak that same life and truth into your life. I didn't know at the time it was going to be me because I was very rough around the edges. I was brand-new saved, not knowing what saved wise I was tough I was strong, rough around the edges working on my own walk with Christ and I came to a crossroads in my own walk with Jesus thinking okay well I got saved.

I am no longer doing drugs. I'm not drinking alcohol anymore.

Lord, I'm trying to live for you. So shortly I will win the custody case and for sure because I'm a good girl now and because I'm living right. My reward is going to be pray whatever you ask in Jesus name and you will get.

So I have this idea that I'm going to have custody of my children and that doesn't happen, but this I want somebody to hear this because this happens along the way in everyone's life, and this is where you learn real biblical truth in real biblical faith is to find my faith. I had a choice to make what they can walk away from Christ or was I going to run into him with my anger and my emotion and everything. I didn't understand. I made the right choice.

I ran into him, even though you didn't get what you wanted at that time and I didn't get what I wanted at the time and I share that story because that's very important. Going back to Darrell and I when he and I met and letting your faith evolve in the midst of the hardship in the midst of confusion in the midst of what doesn't make sense in the midst of your pain in the waiting when you're in the waiting in your weary and your hurt, and the expectation is there in your being Christ over and over and over again. What do you do and Darrell and I were going through this within our relationship because we were trying to love each other but we weren't equipped to love each other.

We were wounded. We were making each other pay the price for our wounds.

We were making each other pay the price for all the past that we are bringing in. We had a whole Lotta story, but we didn't have the love of the Savior. We had a whole Lotta story and a whole lot of pass that we could sit around and talk long hours about, but there was no power. There was earthly passion, even lustful passion but there was not the obedience of Christ in us and Darrell, were you a believer. At that point I was I was lost in the mist of why was everything I got saved and 91 of the crusading Bible and I was using drugs and I was teaching her to buy. When I was telling her stay with the Bible. Don't go back like I did God stay in the word zero because I said if you go back to school, you will be tormented and she saw the torment of me, so I'm Rosie realize that there was no reason to go back. She just let me go and we didn't know if you will be together. We didn't know what our plans were anything. We just really had to let go and let God be God. In the process because we didn't stay together yet because I was still another bad boy and she had to let me go and I had to go my journey. I had to go my journey to get well and I went to my sister house Regina and I stay with her three kids in a two bedroom apartment and I got my journey out. Well God I want to stop using drugs aside from sex starved dorsal cigarettes I start doing all these different things and I just saturated myself in the word of God for real six month and a glossary back to marry Tracy and do a> start.

We start on the journey would nothing always sick people say Walt what you call God's plan for your God's plan. He rescued me he redeemed me and restored me and that's what he does. If you walk out his plan out your plan. Everybody Wanted Their Way near Tracy finally realized it didn't have to be awake and needed to be God's way and if we put it in God's hand and trust a guy like we say we trust God and understand the Bible like you understand the Bible. Now you can fulfill the life that God wants you to have together as one to Be, you know, I there is no I in team DOM people need to understand that 14 the coming of the marriage of the team 14 become the government to win the cannot be about.

I has to be about us and we have to walk through these things together. We walked to the whole process to go. I'm curious.

Take me back to 1991.

You give your life to Christ. Was there any discipleship along the way. After that, no, that was a part of Miss right here.

I got radically saved at the screw say that I accepted Christ and have just a moment like everybody comes out all the help this moment but there was next.

Most people don't get discipled, they don't go to the discipleship you missed that part. That is the most important part, for want to receive those discipleship ports so he can grow as you can understand holy years. In Christ, if you don't I remember I had to sign the biggest culture, like 20 made all controversial but happy McKee screw Sam client and I did radically saved Paul Dr. moment and then what happens. I don't get discipled. I run into the wall at dodger Stadium and dislocate my shoulder is my first year. My first to dislocate my shoulder, and the next day the they patted to wall the next day. Plus I give a little late writing on the walls of the remnant dislocate my shoulder out the first half of the season and I just saw all the text that came with me getting save you know I remember the press and the media talk about look at them he's passive he doesn't play with the past anymore like you played in New York and I wasn't being aggressive. You just so many things being said about me at all. He's gone into this religion.

You know he's gone into this Jesus thing you know he's not goby to St. Clair so it was a real struggle and it was about a for me. So what I'll discipleship the legal question without discipleship. I went running after rented to the wall, dislocate my shoulder, went back to drinking and womanizing and I went running for another 15 years. Really hard. Yeah, I have to go back to this. We talked at one point where Tracy say you're knocking on the door telling him to get out what yes yes when he would relapse and still use drugs. No one could find him, but because I came out of that life I knew where to look, and I would find in the on he would steal my car so I would find him and go looking for him to something in me would just say you have to find him. He's going to die out there and get him Jesus going after the one leaving the 99 going after the one that you like Ashley Wright going.

I yes I would go and I would find him and I think this was the beauty of my salvation. Most people are very zealous when they first get saved. There's this supernatural power of the Holy Spirit that is in you, even if you don't know what it is and you can't define it, it pushes you into wanting to do good and wanting to do great. You already start to look at life differently. So when Darrell is in this like he needs to be rescued and going down and banging down these doors but I was also very rough around the size banging on the doors and want to fight everybody inside to so I can see that. I think he is mouthing his personality unbridled through the Holy Spirit now and going in and pulling him out and telling them in the car getting a car, but then there is this one time and going in and pulling him out and he's with this lady in her apartment and the Holy Spirit just comes over me because I want to fighter literally and I'm being serious but here's a move of God, even when your baby Christian. You don't understand and I just look at her with compassion and sorrow, and I pointed at her and I said and you don't have to live this way either and she starts crying and I said Jesus loves you.

I'm still trying to figure out what that means. I came out of the life that you're living in. You can do it too and I found out years later that she didn't follow up on that as he came out of the life and she was a powerhouse for Christ. After that yeah so you to listen to your story.

Obviously, here you are sitting. I mean, there's part of me is like, I can barely believe you know where you were, which is the beauty of the gospel. Praise God's what he does. He hasn't just you rehabilitate people he redeems from darkness to light, from loss to found from death to life him him looking at two living new creatures in Christ and does that mean you don't struggle other still struggles those life struggles over force because sacred is 517 therefore if any one of the crises in the creation old things passed away behold all things are become new doctoral people. You cannot get to the new. If you hold multiple, and so many people want to get to know so many Christians want to get to know what they hold onto the old Varco the shooter. Whatever it was. That's all you gotta let it go and I realize that you gonna walk with Christ our walk with Christ is. We have been redeemed. The reason why say that is because I will sit here my whites. Also, there were not a victim were overcome by the blood of the Lamb. And you have to know that you have to know that the word of God.

I think so many people want victory but they don't want to do what you need to do to get fixed. Yeah, you got to do the work to get some victory to get the victory did you taste to see that the Lord is good, then you know for sure that not only to taste anything else the Bible lawsuit you wake up every day to this here and feed yourself a good meal I think so many Christians struggle because they don't feed himself any feed himself with social media, other television news all the things are going all in our society instead of empowering himself would God's great wisdom and knowledge. Because if you get that the Bible talks about Clifford my people harassed because of lack of knowledge – why was Parsons so much because I didn't have that knowledge.

I didn't have kingdom knowledge had earthly knowledge like a lot of us do what we don't ever get the revelation of the kingdom knowledge. If you ever get the revelation of the kingdom knowledge then you will suffer anymore.

You don't allow yourself to be well, victim nor not a victim normal, because of the blood of the less interesting as you guys talk.

You obviously have now been discipled yet another word you have a solid foundation. A heat hot like you've matured spiritually. Talk to our listeners that haven't experienced that. What should they do, how do they get discipled and talk about how that happened for you guys.

Discipleship is where the freedom is found. That's how you experience the newness of who you become in an instant over a lifetime.

So getting a Bible-based teaching church take notes of the sermon that the pastor is preaching. Take those notes home, especially the Scripture references and say Lord speak to me start there instead of the confusion of where do I start in the Bible.

What do I do in the word so with some practical things were.

I knew I had to get rid of my old people, places and things which had is the power of influence. It will take you down every time it's a set up of the enemy. You cannot become new. Like my has been said by bringing in the old you just can't do it so I had to position myself in uncomfortable places, such as meeting with Christian women putting myself out. They are going to church events going to Christian events going to places I was not comfortable with that first and stepping out there and introducing myself and allowing myself to be taught and meant toward what you mean by like it was uncomfortable at first because I was living in the world so strongly I mean I was going to the club and I was confused by what you mean you don't sleep with somebody before you get married with two them. How will you know them and did you feel like an outsider. I felt like an outsider. I felt like they were too good for me.

I felt like there is no way I could be as good as these Christian women or they would judge me or there's no way I could tell my story because I'm just so bad and I've gone down so far. Doesn't God even love women like me. I had a lot of questions, yeah.

But discipleship brought me the truth to those answers and healed me and restored me and empowered me.

Discipleship is the walk of faith that the word of God is poured into you, and it's the Avenue it's the gateway it's the way you experience the newness of who you are and without doing that you will never get to experience the richness of Christ that you received the moment you came to salvation. No other questions. That is still in my mind as I hear about you talk about the growth process through discipleship which is so critical and honestly as a pastor for 30 years so many in our church never take that step things really don't get discipled and it's really on us. We have to decide to pursue that and it got a bring the people we got pursue about one of things that you and I'm just got ask you is about forgiveness is when you think about your background and I had a dad walked out when I was six and I struggled for three decades to forgive him.

Not even realize I've got a journey I have to take you talk about it in your book and I was there when I read that what you said. I'm in tell me if I'm wrong, but I'm to read you said God didn't tell me to forgive my father. He told me to ask my father to forgive me when I read that I might what you said you soaked. Walk us through this journey because then you also talk about going to your kids and asking for forgiveness now since it was an incredible journey that God walk you through the officer saving me and I remember I was going to preach at a men's prayer breakfast on this Saturday morning the gospel to be on a Friday night I was in California so to go down and I want to go see your father. He's in the hospital with my brother told me to go see him and asked her father for forgiveness. I want you to ask him to forgive you for keeping him while your career, your life, the grandkids and everything else like are you serious and I call my wife and I saw, so you need to pray for me. God is all over me. This Friday I can go to sleep McNugget is minced purple if you will forgive my father. She said what you need to do exactly what he said and I did. I woke up this Sunday morning I went to the hospital in Osama. He said a little girl send all saying anything about what he did to you and I get there in us is how you doing at the salmon was having conversation memo brother there have been conversation you notables change my life in a different person now.

That's it. Would you forgive me for keeping you out of my life, my career, and a tear came down as a successor.

Yes, I just lost it. I laid in the sloppy nudges lost it.

I just laid there. I was weeping so hard to say I'm so sorry and I just remember the divorce raise up and he says now leaving Minnesota prayer and there was, as it would you like to accept the Lord of your life, and he said yes is a repeat after me leaving him in Singapore. I just remember God's hand.

How dare you not forgive him for gave you see, we have to understand grace know he gave me grace. Why would I give him grace and I just remember God just sent to me, the forgiveness was not for your father did forgiveness was for me is that you stay broken all those years because you wouldn't forgive cried.

I cried driving home I was but I just remember, to the whole process how God tortures how God just released me after I did that to my father, you know, asked him to forgive me if you released me he set me free.

I was wholly different person. It took me to a whole another level I thought was just at this level. Okay, got them during your because like no you would do my will, but you still have some things down that I need to get out to you. So he asked knowing Jesus. Jessica was later house like six months later he goes home home to be with the Lord. And what about your siblings. I would end up leaving all them to the Lord just because a lady told me and my mom said all you gonna do it.

Yeah she says you are dog all over spoke to me you will be want to do it. Everybody's will come alive. And I remember Sr. Regina was Diane. That's age 51 she had cancer to the hospital. California outgoing ministry somewhere got to get to California is the will to get everybody out of the room and I want you to go in there and I want to go the heart. It was the hardest thing I had to do was my favorite sister.

It was the hardest thing I had to do and he says I want you to go meet her. He goes this is valid.he says but I want you to leave her to me and I going to everybody's around the first LCS air break.

I get all familiar startups are to resume us a Regina Lord save me 1/5 said he really she suggests she single-handedly let him assume for this acceptance reflects who God I'm glad that's over was the hardest thing to do because she was nervous like this you know that there was leaving her and then Tracy takes her says Tracy Pfizer and I'm gonna take her back home to St. Louis with Oscar there was almost reconciled Tracy some taken her and she goes on she takes her and she takes care of her while on the road traveling to ministry in this present way of a house in St. Louis so and Tracy what about your boys.

My boys are amazing and restored to all three of my boys have an incredible relationship with my kid.

God is so good. We just have to trust them. We just have to trust him even in the places that not knowing places and not being able to understand and even watching my boys go through severe challenges because of the choices I made in decisions I made, God has also now used me as the restoration agent to bring them to him and to bring them into that healing process because I know that process well. I understand their pain and God is so good that he would put me in the position. From what I took for that and that he would use me is the one that would give it back to them in a greater way that stories whole Lotta story, but God is that good. He's incredible.

He's unbelievable that it is amazing and it took me years to understand that he often uses our pain to point us to our purpose and the pain that you a lot of it was self-inflicted. A lot of our pain is self-inflicted. Even then we make these horrible choices. God forgives God restores God empowers and he says that very value walk through that darkness is going to be the thing of any use for your future.

You know it and I don't if you've ever heard this quote Darrell when and when I was trying to forgive my debtors witness forgiveness book by Louis Smedes and he says when you forgive someone you set a prisoner free only to discover you're the prisoner you and I remember what I read that I thought I locked my dad up you don't deserve to be in my life and I'm like I lock myself up.

I couldn't be free to be the man God called me to be and I'm hearing your story thinking while when you were set free and he said when he valued as about you when you were set free.

Look what he did.

After that he still doing. You are free to be used by God in a powerful way can imagine what your future looks like. Seriously, I think, is beginning guys armies of your contact in ministry arrow thanks to this. You guys are having have to think there may be somebody who's been listening today who thinks my situation that the mess I've made of my life. I'm beyond God's ability to help pull me out of the ditch.

I'm in and I think what we've heard from Darrell and Tracy strawberry today is that nobody is beyond God's mercy God's grace God's redemption.

God doesn't just save us, so that will be with him forever. God saves us, so that eternal life can begin for you right now.

New life in Christ can begin for you right now there is help and there is hope. Darrell talks about that in his book turn your season around how God transforms your life and it's a book we got in our family life today resource Center you can order your copy from us online@familylifetoday.com or you can call to order at one 800 FL today again. The book is called turn your season around by Darrell strawberry order online@familylifetoday.com or call 1-800-358-6329 that's one 800 F as in family L as in life, and then the word today. Now as we get down to the last few days of August for the last few weeks we've been asking you to prayerfully consider becoming a monthly supporter of family life. What we call a legacy partner David Robbins who's the person family life is here with me and David help our listeners understand how vital and how important legacy partners are to the ongoing work of this ministry. Well first of all I just want to say that I am so grateful to be able to meet many legacy partners as I traveling to different events and it is just such a joy to meet people who are faithful listeners.

As time allows and space allows in their life and also partners to help get the message of the gospel in the ways of Jesus that can the hive and a home and help families flourish to get those to as many people as possible and so I'm just so grateful for you who are currently legacy partners and given an ongoing way. It's that ongoing support that allows us to know what's coming in so that we can plan accordingly and get these great messages around marriage and family to as many people as possible. You really are an engine to help fuel our mission of effectively developing godly families who change the world one home at a time. It's the last week of August and we would invite you to become a legacy partner and be a part of the team that is taking this to homes that may not know the hope of Jesus and as many of our listeners know what what we've been hoping for praying for this month is that in every city were family life today is heard there might be two families who would step forward and say we want to be a part of the team that makes family life today possible in our community and if you would be one of those too if you'd contact us today and say I want to join you as a legacy partner were to send you some thank you gifts a certificate to attend a weekend, remember marriage get away as our guests. You can pass along to someone else if you'd like will send you David and Wilson's new book, no perfect parents and exclusive access to messages from Dave and I am all of that is our way of saying thank you for your partnership with us in the ministry of family life today you can connect with us online@familylifetothe.com or call one 800 FL today and thanks in advance for praying about this and considering joining with us as a legacy partner and we hope you have a great weekend.

Hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend and I hope you can join us on Monday when were to talk about betrayal about broken trust and how we can rebuild a relationship when that has happened and how we forgive a person who has betrayed us. Lisa Turk first joins us on Monday for that conversation. We hope you can join us as well on behalf of our hosts Dave and Ann Wilson on Bob Lapine. Have a great week and will see you Monday for another edition of family life today family like to use a production of family life accrue ministry helping you pursue the relationships that matter most