Handing Over the Baton

And welcome to family life today. Thanks for joining us. Her hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson on Bob Lapine. You can find a someone of family life today.com you know I Bob probably said something like that about us about about 7000. And I like the math on that and so that's the last one we are doing here and you're laughing about it. Well, you know trying. We are back to where we started this week. Everything there's a season and a time for every purpose under heaven, and this is that time. This is the the last time I'll be on family life today as a cohost with you guys. You guys will take it from here and you'll you'll do great. But we been spending time this week just reflecting on some of the big lessons I've learned in 28 years of being the cohost on family like today, first with Dennis Rainey and then with the two of you over the last couple years that we need to learn to say welcome for you can start out talking over here crying well and I don't want to trivialize this because I know we've had with blisters on the relationship through the years and I've met people who have graciously said the program has made a difference in their lives.

God you is used in their lives. It's been a real privilege to get to do what I've gotten to do over the last 28 years that you have marked out unless you and your really good at what you do here faithfulness to Jesus just pouring out of you. Near desire and love for God's word and theology in the family have shifted generation. Thank you.

It has been a joy and and what's been good for me has been all the people reporting to me over the years the past 28 years guests we've had on family life today and we talked this week about marriage, principles of learned parenting principles of learned the differences between men and women things I learned from Dennis Rainey and now I'm just going to kind of catch up today with a mixed bag of some of those things I've quoted these things to people over and over again since I heard them the first time on family life today program back in the first year we were on family life. Today we did an interview with our friend Gary Ross for Gary and Barb were speaking up the weekend. Remember, marriage getaways with us.

Gary had just written a book about resolving conflict where his whole idea was you gotta close the loop as an open-loop you gotta close the loop. You remember that and what came up in that conversation was the priority of pursuing peace when there is conflict and I would tend to be a conflict avoid her and talking with Gary that day he brought Romans 1218 verse that I don't know that I'd read, or I didn't remember he brought it to the forefront. It's a verse that says if possible as much as it depends on you, be at peace with all men and I thought that's a principal.

I need to learn so here's here's our conversation with Gary from back in 1993 you Paul put it one sentence in Scripture that I grab onto an absent sense as far as it depends upon you when ever possible.

He gives us two caveats are as much as it depends upon you when ever possible. Be at peace with everyone and for some of the listeners and maybe sitting back in abusive situations. In situations where another person doesn't want to move towards restoration and we cannot control that other person what we can do is choose in our own relationship with Christ to receive God's forgiveness and then secondly, to forgive ourselves and do what we can as much as we can to step up to the plate to try to open up the restoration of the relationship with the other person, just a quick moment with Gary Ross Berg but it was so powerful for me, the priority of pursuing peace and the necessity of forgiveness and reconciliation relationships, not just in marriage and it it does start in marriage, but all relationships extended family relationships where there's been a fractured relationship. The onus is on us and there's a fractured relationship. The illnesses have I done everything I can to pursue peace and sometimes it's not possible. Yeah I was going to say sometimes it doesn't work out on their side, but if you can sit before God set I've done everything I can do, then you can live at peace after the next to go to sleep and be in peace.

Those two caveats. If possible, as much as it depends on you and that's your responsibility and if you've done that. Like you said, you can be at peace but we have another early conversation with Jim Ellis, who had written of a short book on childhood conversion kids making an early profession of faith in Christ. What should we think about that when your child at age 4, says I want asked Jesus into my heart and you pray a prayer with them to then go okay this is settled in heaven, or how do you think about that. I remember the conversation with Jim Ellis thinking the same child who says I want asked Jesus into my heart also thinks and when I grow up I want to be a dinosaur for five years old so they don't have a full concept at the same time a child can genuinely believe at an early age. Sure, and so I asked him in the interview. What should we do as parents if our child makes an early profession. How we respond to that and here's how that conversation went. The idea of conversion. Of course, means to change or to turn that's literally what the word means. The Bible teaches that conversion is not really just a nice option to make better people to live with but conversion is an absolute necessity without conversion. People are damned.

That's a strong word, but that's literally what the Bible says there is such a thing as the wrath of God and the Bible says that God leaves a person in his own sin and then to an eventual hell who will not be converted who will not be another biblical word justified before God within this word then is, is there repentance.

Yes, I think a couple of words help us understand the idea of conversion. The word repentance would be one on the negative side against sin. The word of faith or believing in the Lord would be the other. Often these words in the Scripture found together sometimes. One word is used in the other is assumed, but they represent a turning from turning to the Lord. Turning from sin and a lifestyle that we've been living, and it is moral. Repentance is moral. It's turning away from real sin in our lives and then turning to Christ by trusting our lives to Jesus Christ the only one who paid the adequate price in our place for us and a child can do that a child can be converted.

Dennis, I believe that I don't have any questions about that, but in the history of Christendom. It was always believed that children could be converted but it was not always accepted that we could know if children are converted until a later age when their faith was tested so that they could see if what they had was genuine LSA difference. That's an interesting distinction that you make their bedeviling strife between child who who professes to be following Christ and then some validation of that later on that because I think we've all heard that if a child or for if anyone for that matter makes a profession of faith we are to assume that God has done a work in that person's life will our assumption is certainly not always correct because the evidence I think is in the lives that we see, here's a child, it comes up.

Peace, seven, eight, nine years of age.

He makes some profession of faith. He prays a prayer by the way, we don't find in the Bible and you're speaking there of the rip enters prayer are the prayer of the child who is crying out to Christ to say yes it's often called the sinners prayer weep carefully word out a prayer in our booklets.

In this that the other you know that that is common among of evangelicalism. But you don't find anything really like that in the Bible. The Bible says for the person to repent and believe often that took place during the hearing of the word or while a man are child or man was alone. This is the essence of our response to the gospel. We have a problem with focusing on prayer because we put more faith in the fact we prayed a prayer carefully worded prayer than we do in Jesus Christ.

God doesn't do this in the Bible.

He puts the emphasis on Christ. So I'm trust in Christ. So as a parent. Should I be hoping for leading my child in praying the kind of prayer that we've all been taught. We should teach a child to pray. Well, I think we can improve the way we communicate with God by being a little more biblical and talking about repentance and faith.

That's one thing but I think that we should in fact encourage our children to pray and to talk to God about this repentance and faith they might deal with that many times before they know if they've actually been converted you're actually talking about prayer being the expression of a heart attitude yes and that sometimes we get into a rut of thinking that her prayer expresses a heart attitude that in there yet. Child really isn't repenting and believing that the child is merely reading a prayer are saying a prayer because mommy or daddy are grandma or grandpa want him or her to say a prayer.

That's right, we formula rise.

This idea of Christianity into a prayer.

If we can say this prayer that is like putting money in the vending machine. And God has to give us eternal life, but I contend that there many many millions of people who prayed a perfectly worded prayer that they found written someplace or you been given to them by somebody else, but don't know Christ at all and are on the way to hell. Unfortunately, the emphasis the wrong emphasis on that issue has has deceived many. I was at half.

Isn't that interesting. I'm just thinking of all the conversations of parents that I've had come up to me when their child maybe has turned and their rebelling that they feel very much to Sherry because they'll say, but my son prayed a prayer when he was three. Right, and I'll ask the question, are you seen fruit of that prayer and I think his parents were desperate for hope and and I want make sure parents as they hear. This will make sure they understand anything your child does. That's positive. Spiritually that's moving in the right direction. Affirm that sure that on celebrate that, but keep looking for evidence of conversion evidence of change, not perfection. Not that your child is never going to sin again.

Corsi's goodness and again you do but keep looking for there to be evidence about a living, active relationship with Jesus and in those times when your child sins and you go. I wonder if he's really saved or not share the gospel with your children and in those times when you sin share the gospel with yourself and keep coming back to the gospel end and we need to keep believing the gospel over and over again. Okay, here's a great story. We did an interview with Dr. Robertson McClurkin who was the president of Columbia Bible College and seminary in Columbia South Carolina and in 1992 he stepped down from that role to go home and take care of his wife Muriel who had Alzheimer's disease and I remembered the speech he made when he stepped down. He said it's not that I have to ask that I get these made my life possible. I could care for her.

It's a delight to care for her and it was such a powerful picture of covenant love and he came and we talked about that decision and about caring for Muriel and about his life.

She was still alive at this point, but he told a story about back before she had started showing signs of Alzheimer's a trip. They were on the conversation they had and he was trying to explain to her why she was just not thinking correctly. Here's how the conversation went. I think you're referring to the time we were in the evening in bed discussing some earthshaking theme with should I do not remember and I was just demolishing her arguments with superb logic. Are you saying you are arguing with her discussing so but if if I ever do seem to be prevailing in a situation like that. Then I start feeling bad about it and and get but she didn't wait for any sympathy or pity she just read up on one elbow and flashed those gray green green eyes at me and she said well let me tell you something logic. Not everything, and feelings. Not nothing, and I heard that and I thought how many times have I tried to logically explain to my wife why what she's feeling just does not make sense and I've been rebuked by that state was even today I had a situation where I was reading something I'm good at.

This is just this does not make sense but it was an emotional plea and logic is not everything, and feelings are nothing. You quote that several times God and it's true. I suppose the feel so now I mean obviously it could.

I don't know if it could be said better. I mean, it's not even proper English and you'll never forget it because it's so true and when you're in the middle of a communication or in a conflict that's the truth you've got to lean into feelings through like what she's feeling or what he's feeling. It matters that are teenagers are feeling that it's just so good. So many times stories like that from guest on family life today. God's use them in my life to say you need this.

This is for you.

I sent this person here whether the listener needs to hear it or not, you needed to hear it.

There was another time like that when Pastor Tommy Nelson, you know, Tommy, Thales Jared Denton Bible Church in Denton, Texas. He's been a faithful servant of God in that location.

For decades Tommy had been getting ready to preach through the book of Romans at his church.

They were to videotape would put up the video series.

This was a big deal. He said if I can do this I can die a happy man toy been burning the candle at both ends to get this ready and his wife came in one day to talk to him and he was unresponsive.

He was awakened and functioning, but he just could not respond or to come to the hospital they thought maybe a stroke. The doctors checked them out to the spine was only later that a doctor said you're depressed because I'm not depressed. I love what I do and the doctor said no, you're you're depressed because you have not been resting the way you should.

Here's here's how he tells the story.

I struggled with elation more than depression. I just love what I was doing but I peered back in from a distance and I go do it all, keep the base had you keep the pace I did it because I loved it and I would run for miles.

They lift weights every day, plus everything else I did just out of pure love.

I love what I was doing MAR is not just like I would go to bed a crash at about 1010 30 and then I was always up at five. Never go to sleep much.

Five usually get up about four because I was excited about the day because it six.

I got to handle the word with 40 top guns and so at six. I would take off and teach till seven then I would usually go and answer email than I would to work out and then incumbent you to take a nap in the afternoon and then you know get ready for we can conference and head off on Friday.

Do three times Friday night, three times Saturday morning come back four times on Sunday on preaching get up and go 6 AM and I loved it.

Just because you know just the idea of the gospel being expended for the gospel and that that's what I'm trying to it in my hearing you right because I'm I'm hearing you say this came on me but I'm also hearing you say I brought this on it. I can look in retrospect and see three years before it was continual putting myself in unrelenting pushing without any rest is what did and I could see it happening over about three years but it did hit me literally in a moment.

My body said that's all in the process of kinda going for the stress going after this stuff did you let in your spiritual discipline slide. No reading the Bible was my love, my joy is the vocational hillside every in the vocational you did everything that is true then I was reading my Bible and loving what I was doing but done so my Carlotta sabbaths in your own other no service.

I was an effort day and I love being stretched of the old Vince Lombardi deal of life being lying exhausted and visual field of battle 11 of the office like that and Tommy forgive me because I don't want to simplify our quickly spiritualized, but there is a message that you just sent a lot of people there is a reason for Sabbath rest – and we do need to embrace that aspect of God's word and quite honestly I may not be a draft horse like you, but I'm married to a wife.

She communicated me over and over and over again about Sabbath rest, setting a day apart getting an island in the midst of the activity in the midst of the pace of life and that we didn't do it perfectly, but there's a great lesson for all of us regardless of your lifestyle. You need to honor what God told us to honor in the 10 Commandments and setting apart a day and honoring Hampshire but I remember I needed to hear that that day because my tendencies gonna be just keep going keep going fast and I played it for you today all play that for you as because you guys lean into activity and stay busy and all of that, there's a cautionary tale from one of our brothers was gone before us. It says part about the time get the rest refresh your body and soul and don't keep going going going that's a good word when I was a to be credited. I'm trying okay but I get 100 things running when I know when I when I heard Tommy say that he was just unresponsive that he just stopped. I thought I wonder why my body hasn't done that yet because I have run fast. I am still running fast and I in some ways I think over it forces all to go slow a little but I need to slow this down. That's a good word. Well it was convicting me because I never said I always go and not only is there work, but there's kids and his grandkids and I'm always trying to meet everyone's needs and actually before we came to record and remember thinking not feeling good at all this week. I don't think I've had anything to drink today.

Not just taking care of our bodies and our spirit telling part and rest. God said you need rest Sabbath is he that is huge and you needed to. Bob and I live here next time or when you're a doer and a go. One other thing Tommy said this was in another setting, another conference situation. What I heard him say this. I quoted this to single people over and over again I have to. He said this is your job if you're a single person listen to what he says on the great word ever heard on marriage whenever you pick a mate. Here's a way you do it you run as fast as you can for Jesus Christ commit your life to him, love him sellout him devoted to him. He ran as fast as you can you look on your right and left things running the same speed and you and what it was when people cried when my wife is when the price you want to spend her life in the sharing the gospel sure she will drink his children love the Lord.

She was a Christian home.

I wanted that and we just said heck.

Let's do it together and we did it together.

That's the way you get married you run as hard as fast toward Jesus.

And if you see somebody running in the same direction of the same speed. Take a second look over just wave at a TV that so many times that because it's so good. It is so good at that.

On the subject of singleness. We had a conversation with Elizabeth Elliott and I've never forgotten this. She was talking about the gift of singleness and she said every single person wants to know she do I have the gift of singleness, and here's how she explained that this was so good when I have a chance to talk to singles, especially older ones that are getting to despair. I say number one do not put your life on hold. You only have today is this present moment in which God wants to be glorified and you are single this present moment what women will often say to me.

I just know that I don't have the gift of singleness. I just know I'm supposed to be married.

I'm so maternal I just feel God wants to give me a husband and having all this and I say to them, well you know today's Saturday. Are you single yes then you have the gift of singleness on this particular Saturday. Maybe next Thursday God is going to bring along the dream and if your life maybe he's not but you must learn to glorify God in the situation where God has assigned you and I go back to Psalm 16. Five. You assigned me my portion is a genus classic the gift of sin. If you are single you have the gift of singleness today.

She said a lot of people say, but I want to know if I have it like forever. And she said I say to them. I don't know what he knows will you have it forever.

What we know as you have it today truly tied to another principal. She shared that I've never forgotten when her first husband, Jim Elliott was martyred in 1956. She's a new mom living in Quito, Ecuador. Her husband has died. I said how it works you overwhelmed by what am I gonna do, how I survived this I got a baby my husband is dead.

I'm in the South America she said I learned a very important principle, and that is due. The next thing, don't be overwhelmed by what's next, we can look like do the next thing to what Jesus said when he said tomorrow has enough troubles of its own. Just be focused on today. Cory tendon is to have that same philosophy. God will give you today what you mean. He won't give it to you today.

What you need tomorrow to give you today. What you need to integrate one, Bob. Let me ask you this, because I'm sure listeners are wondering what's the next thing for about so the next thing for me is to get to get a little rest when I'm staying connected to right to family life connected to the work of this program and I would be more focused and more intentional with our local church where I have been pastoring now for 13 years. There's an assignment.

Therefore, Miriam and me in working a guy been in and embrace that assignment as well and more time with kids and grandkids were looking forward to that. So we are excited about this chapter, and where were headed were God has us, but that the last 28 years have been adroitly been a privilege and we tried to sum up this week. What a been some of the highlights. I hope listeners as they have a chance to go back and listen to this and just refresh themselves with these truths that have lived with me now. Over the last 28 years. Hope they been out that's been helpful for them, and I need to say here. Nobody does this alone. This radio program is not something that I've made happen. There's a team here at family life.

You know this great teenage team and some of the teammates who had been a part of this team have been at this for more than 25 years. When you stop and think we started family life today. In 1992.

We got colleagues here who have been with us since essentially the beginning of the program and so people like Christie Bain who has been my administrative assistant for all of those 28 years. I'm in this this program is as much a labor of her work as it is my work and time donations who is continuing to do the research and the guest interaction getting things ready for us.

She's gonna continue with that. She's been with us from the beginning. She's been amazing and then every day as I've ended the program and said I want to thank our engineer Keith Lynch, Keith spin across the glass for 1/4 of a century doing this. It's unusual you know this for people to be at something like this that long and so listeners may know my voice and have heard me say things but I've been enabled and set up and prepared for what I do. I helped along by people like Condon Christie and Keith and so many others whose names I could mention, but it's been a privilege and a great ride and I'm excited about what God has as you guys move forward with this well I don't know what to say besides, thank you.

I'm looking over there, I did. I know what to say.

Keith love Jesus you love Jesus. All those people you mentioned they love Jesus.

They love the listener, who often we don't even get to meet and we love you, that's kind of what I was going to say as you listen to a radio podcast, you always wonder, is it real what they're talking about.

Are they living today.

Love Jesus, though any talk about him and does their life reflect the principles that they been teaching and Bob.

You do like you are the real deal. Everyone he mentioned is to eye care integrity you faithfulness your love for Marianne. Your wife and kids.

It spills all over your love for Jesus is foremost and I think that's why we all trust you trust your voice we trust your life and you have blessed us immensely freely mentored Dave and I and we can't thank you enough for your faithfulness to God to us to this team and to family here pretty amazing and we really love you well and you guys know how thrilled I am that what God has in store for you and for the future of this and I'll be listening. I'll send you emails and so you should ask this question. Why did you have some fun here and let me just pray for you guys as we close this father, thank you for Dave and I am for the way you have gifted them for their passion for you. Their desire to see others come to know you and live as faithful followers of your son Jesus I pray your blessing on them and on this program on this team. As things move forward or keep your hand on this program keep using it in the lives of so many people every day.

We ask it in Jesus name, amen. And as we wrap things up. Today I want to remind you that all of the things we talked about this week. The 28 principles that we've gone through these conversations were making available on a flash drive along with the original programs from which those ideas came through the years that flash drive is available to those of you can make a donation to support the ministry of family life today going forward. Your donation today is can be matched dollar for dollar getting down to the wire on this matching gift fund that's been made available to us through the month of May goes away pretty soon so in order for us to take full advantage of the fund. We need to hear from you today. In addition to the flash drive to send you a couple books from Aaron and Jamie Ivey about marriage and those of you who can join us as monthly legacy partners and help support the ministry on an ongoing basis.

In addition to the flash drive and the books were to send you a certificate to attend an upcoming weekend to remember marriage get away either this spring or into the fall as the getaways started up again were excited about that and your donations over the next 12 months are to be matched dollar for dollar has long as there's money available in that matching gift fund. So if you can become a legacy partner today or make a one-time donation go to family life today.com to donate or call one 803 586-329-1800 F as in family L as in life, and then the word today and extend the reach of family life today through your giving thanks in advance for whatever you're able to do, and the final word of thanks here to you as listers the time we have spent together over the last 28 years has been meaningful for me. I hope it's been meaningful for you as well and I will miss the regular connection with you. Thanks for the kind notes you've sent through the years.

Thanks for the suggestions we've gotten from you through the years those of been helpful as well and I am confident that the best years are ahead for family life today and with that we can wrap things up for this week. Thanks for joining us.

Hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church this weekend. Hope you have a refreshing weekend and I hope you can tune in Monday Dave and Anna to talk with Levi and Jenny Lesko there to share about a critical moment in their families life and I will going all the details now, but it's a powerful story.

Hope you can tune in on Memorial Day for that think our engineer today. Keith Lynch, who has been they a great friend and a trusted companion over the years. Also I think of Bruce Goff, who added some help today and our entire broadcast production team on behalf of our hosts David and Wilson and Bob Lapine join us back again Monday for another edition of family life today. Family life today is a production of family life of Little Rock, Arkansas. Accrue ministry help for today hope for tomorrow