Radically Ordinary Hospitality

We are facing in our day, a different kind of pandemic. A pandemic of isolation and loneliness.

Chris and Elizabeth McKinney have written a book about that and they say that message is resonating with a lot of people.

My sisters been reading them back and she said that they were at the park and she started interacting with this on their couple and the wife turned to her. After talking for about 20 minutes and said you know this is the most interaction I've had with someone in two years.

As far as like social interaction with someone and a lot of people are pretty isolated in front sometimes where lonely. This is family like today hosts are David and Wilson been someone family like today.com in a culture where loneliness and isolation are a reality.

Chris and Elizabeth McKinney say we have a lot of ministry opportunities that have opened up to us talk more about those today stay with us and welcome to family life today. Thanks for joining us. Is it proper to say you are convicted by something.

If after they were convicted.

You didn't do anything to change my theological you guys know I always do when I'm convicted couple years back we had one of our friends Rosario Butterfield as a guest on family life today. She had just written a book called the gospel comes with a house key. It is a great book.

It's all about hospitality. It's about. She calls it radical ordinary hospitality convicted by that I was convicted and I'm thinking that that was two years ago so that's the point, convicted, and I don't know that anything is dramatically Charles still year in sin, so we one of the things we asked her about was how do you begin the process or what what has worked for her. And let me explain back for you guys what she described I thought that's a great idea and it's one of those things that we still don't do and haven't done but here's what she said if you want your neighbors to come to Christ. Some of your neighbors.

Their lives are deeply burdened by both abuse and also by addiction and so if you want people who are struggling in those areas to come to your home for dinner. For example, issuing an invitation three Tuesdays from yesterday doesn't help very much because you know, quite frankly, they are nothing to be sober or safe, but simply saying hey every Thursday night were to have an open house and my open house. I mean we do we do this every Thursday night I cooked soup and bread. Not very glamorous you don't like it is minestrone. That's one of my favorite soup and bread.

Neighbors come in and then at a certain point the children gather the plates they go up to the sink and then the Bibles in the coffee cups so it's not an open house and in that were going to talk about politics.

It's not an open house and that were going to talk about plummeting housing values. At some point the conversation is going to switch and were going to bring our conversation to Jesus so that Jesus can enter into the conversation not to stop it but deep in so I hear that again. I think convicted Bob that's genius your convicted leaving Miriam.

I should have people over. I'm convicted that we should like you said it's like wow you hear that you're inspired yeah and it's what were talking about this week and we got some friends who are joining us to do this. Chris and Elizabeth McKinney are with us on family life today guys, welcome back. Thank you, thank McKinney is live in Columbia, Missouri been on staff with crew campus Crusade for Christ for 20 years. You are focused now on how to promote ministry of evangelism in the community, not on the campus. I mean there's great stuff going on in the Missouri campus, but you guys are focused on Columbia and Jefferson City amount whole area and you're focused on your neighbors not just as a part of your ministry but as a part of your life. Have you ever thought about like every Tuesday night dinner at your house soup and bread. You know I haven't and I love that Rosario nights I think neighboring it's not a one-size-fits-all. It's not a cut-and-paste kinda cookie-cutter type thing. It's going to look very different depending on your wiring your personality.

If you are an introvert or an extrovert on your season of life. I think even in our marriage. Chris is an inch friend. I'm an extrovert and we we come to neighboring and we we bring our own kind, hostile to look like you guys ever disagree like you have to have pleading with her appointment for you both. Gamers in this whole concept of neighboring me.

I think because it started off with just wanting to get to know our neighbors, and have fun. I think we both had a desire to want to help build community in our neighborhood we knew we needed that community when you are neighbors needed that community and by God's grace. I think we cut them both found our niche in it. So Elizabeth did a lot of the infighting for connecting the organizing extrovert housing, I would do and I got to you know it's not like I don't talk to anybody to help a lot with the servant you know II got to sling cotton candy for kids for a couple hours and and build into some of those relationships that I'd kind of established already and so and on the strengths Finder you have context which is so neighboring for you instead of every four years having to reestablish, like with college go straight to meeting all these new people all the time all the small talk.

You love the ongoing building and around Russian ships of people that are sustained over time to Arizona Tuesday night at the McKinney's house but there is some kind of rhythm and talk about what's that look like you guys are the models of what were all trying to book an expert but seriously, is there some kind of rhythm that you sort of have laid out there is for us, but we and our but our book is more of.

It's really a Bible study so we don't really lay out like this is the prototype for neighboring in our but we get a lot of different ideas for things you can try but our personal read them just because it works for us as we do love the parties will II love a party I'm a sucker for a party so we do kinda followed the school calendar year where we in in the spring where people have been hibernating all winter and were all lonely and we haven't seen anybody in the dead of winter we can start off with any Strat kind and we have a team of people who we said think we lived in white suburbia until we started neighboring and we learn, we have neighbors who want to help with these. With these events that are Chinese or we we have a lot of people with an Indian heritage or we had.

I think that our Easter egg hunt committee. We had people a mom from Argentina, Brazil, Mexico, China, India was all these really cool helping with these Easter egg hunts and then we do a bite of the world food fast in the spring where people bring different dishes from their heritage and kids can come you get a little bite from around the world and that's a lot of fun. We do our block party.

Of course we do a Fourth of July bike parade that we do Halloween we were doing a turkey trot on this year where I'm going to space out and we provide hot chocolate and and down at San.

It's an outdoor type thing. Last year we did not neighbors giving where an set of friends giving after Thanksgiving. We sent us some of our neighbors from Indiana will do leftovers at our house.

You guys bring your leftovers will have our switch we were obviously we came out the winners and that they brought chicken masala. All these different different dishes that were amazing. We had leftover turkey and mashed potatoes.

So we had pie till five. That was a lot of fun and then we do not normally when not done it this year but we do like a holiday open house where we take pictures with Santa and there's a hayride with tour the neighborhood lights and that type of thing. So here's here's a great thing about what you're saying we are Rosario and her every Tuesday night. We hear you guys and your 45 neighborhood festivals that you do. This can really be. What is what you're rhythm. What's your personality, what your temperament, how can you be intentional about having some kind of a connection with your neighbor and and worse. When we use the term labor you guys are.

This is one of the things you talk about were not talking about Maybury lay in a conceptual sentence right right you're talking about your neighbor neighbor with the real thing right here literal next-door neighbor. Imagine that. Yeah well I like that because as you are saying Elizabeth you like a good party. That's part of who you are and so to gather periodically to have a good party would be your personality and then because I was thinking how we would've done as I'm listening to all of this. I'm thinking I think sometimes it may require giving up something because our kids were in sports almost every night of the week email and I think it's important to ask God what could this look like for me because were called to love the people around us were called to love our neighbors but to also pray and ask again, what is this look like a family with young kids in the house, kids.

What could this look like for us to get to know our neighbors. We you know we yard our kids are grown up doing this and so they can have an idea but even just a small step that you could take with your family as every night not you don't most nights. Would you prayers.

I know for me especially we always pray that you know our neighbors would experience God's love and come to know Jesus, so it's just it's a prayer that we have that our kids are used to hearing. So even if we think about taking the small steps in your neighbor and just plain as a family starting off you knows a great way to start. Neighboring right you said in the book.

It could be just the small because when you talk about the parties, the Army gone Walzer. Those are epic right to strike a blow so I really get it. So I'll organize it, I'd be a clown or whatever circus Masters on second and because there's a whole section of book I thought is very important for us understand it set in its you can't love your neighbor if you don't see them, and I've often thought, if I see my neighbor across the street but I don't because I'm busy. I worked all day.

I can jobs of said honor stage and I haven't done it, but I've said our church.

You should do this you know your opponent from work and Bob across the streets in his driveway don't go in your house, take five minutes, 33 to 5 minutes. Elise walked to the end your driveway say man what's up man are you doing org for tenure get in the mail and strike up a conversation that five minutes could just say and I have even said this, tell me if if you agree, this is probably a misuse of the Bible story but when Jesus asked the woman at the well for a drink.

You think while what's he doing asking her for something and I thought if you really love your neighbor asking for some you think no way for them – right.

No borrowed tool and I have spent many minutes in my neighbor's garage. You can a tool that they have and the next thing you know you're not just returning a tool or you end up in a conversation. You never know where it's going to go. Is that how you see your neighbor. Oh yeah, I mean asking for help is one of the best neighboring tools ways to neighbor out there you can hear their story. There was a guy that I was coach I would call neighbor coaching will retry to help people begin to figure this out and and he we were talking about his neighbor, and I was like you ask for help. Ask for something, and so we got back together came back and told story where he needed his yard aerated, but he did have a pickup truck and he didn't want to hire somebody to do it in his neighbor had a pickup truck. He kinda knew him but not super well so he just said ominous can ask for help. Sue goes over and says hey, would you mind helping me go pick up a narrator and help me aerate my lawn and you have the pickup to user pickup and the guy was his neighbor was so excited to help like we love to help. It's Fonda it's fun to help and it's but it's vulnerable to ask for help – so he took that step.

They went and got the aerator they got it big big dude's lawn. They took it back. They spent the whole day together and then the sky that I was helping neighbor. It was neighbor coaching he said is it will thank you so much and as a way to say thank you. We want to have you and your family over for dinner as a way to say thank you. Which so that led to another opportunity to interact with his neighbor, and so yes asking for help is a great way to get to know your neighbor and set to start those relationships recently. Might my sisters been reading the book and she said that they were at the park with their kids and they said it was like a neighborhood park and she started interacting with this other couple and the wife turned to her. After talking for about 20 minutes and said you know this is the most interaction I've had with someone in two years. As far as like social interaction with someone and you know she probably works where she comes home from work can and if you work with a lot of people.

Or if you work from your home.

A lot of people are pretty isolated and lonely.

Any for any friends sometimes were lonely and that's where I think neighboring sometimes we can get this idea of like oh you know what we the neighbors need us.

We need we need to reach out to them, but we can meet that need in each other's lives. To answer this, how do you love your neighbor, you know like you have read this or not but you know it's like the called time of his vision of you know, our address is not an accident. So got his placed us and placed their address is not an accident.

So here we are. We know God wants us to love them, and yet they bog us you know they play music to their dog poop in front of their kid books that are fine. It's like this take me you know I am being hypothetical here because I never in my life experience is no seriously and so you see them walking toward your driveway or you see them in their driveway and you know you hear me in your head that cocoa spent five minutes with him in years I got I don't want to hide much rather going to spend five minutes with my kids. How do you love the unlovable will we call that the non-neighbor really and and and sometimes we don't want to admit it, but maybe where the non-neighbor fight since Harrison's socks my kids leave in our driveway and the neighbors driveway and I'm like you know we are the non-neighbor sometimes but really and in that parable of the good Samaritan where Jesus, he highlights man who stops and is the good Samaritan he he is a neighbor to someone who is very unlike him and I think in our culture, where were so polarized and there's so much hostility we can have an idea when our pastor says love your neighbor. If were honest, it's kind of our family and friends and the people we like those of the people who we think of when we think love my neighbor. I don't necessarily want to think of someone that I don't like or someone that might be different from the ends and in in a certain regard and I think it's important as and as we neighbor.

We can get outside of that bubble yet. We also been thinking about this came up with this idea of this neighboring grid and how to see people and in weave notice Francis Schaeffer. You know said that we are all glorious ruins. So we are we have this element of glory because were created in the image of God. But then we also have this ruined that's brought by the fall in in both our neighbors and not assert ourselves, and so the way to see people in our neighbors through a gospel lenses to see them in ourselves as glorious ruins and so when we when we only see the things that might be ruined or might annoy us. You know, it may not be because it's it's ruined it just might be a different preference on something would judge them. They become a non-neighbor. We find it hard to find common ground and we don't see them or interact them, but on the flipside, you could also see just kind of this glory part and not remember that they also are struggling and when that happens you to see this like perfect image of your neighbor and you like me and they have it all together. They don't need me. They don't want me to interact with them in a way smaller legal challenges that are the Joneses and and you forget that they have needs in their lives as well.

There's ruins and their stuff that's happening there. But to see people well the way Jesus is talking about the invisible neighbor right right that's when we don't see them at all just faceless. Their name list right that's pulling into the garage and and we don't even see our neighbors feel when you see people as glorious ruins you you the glory can motivate your respect for that person, you can say because they're created in the image of God.

Surely there is a point of common ground that I can find and in and there's grace for them like I want grace for myself and you see the ruin which can motivate your compassion. You know you want compassion for yourself or the ways that your broken will your neighbor once that as well and so kind of trying to pull those two together can be hard, especially people who don't think the way you do vote the way you do look the way you do. But that's called out into the have you have you sensed any impact on your family or on your marriage as you try to live out this we are place for a purpose, vision, does it help your marriage's argument raises impact your family at all. Does it impact your parenting or what your how you're given a vision your kids is a good thing. Is it a intrusive thing I think you know it is a family like unity here of mission you could take a missions trip with your family. I mean, that can be challenging to do right. If you want to bring all your kids and a lot of times I think we think of missions as something is going on out there, but if you begin to see yourself as place for a purpose, your family, you can be missionaries right where you are. If you begin to talk about it with your kids pray about it with your kids and in just say hey God is put us here and he's put our neighbors around her Siouan and yeah maybe it's, you know, we don't understand all the ins and outs but we could maybe love on them and and and do this together as a family.

So that's I think neighbor and provides a way for families to experience being on mission and now that's messy sometime but that's good to like our our daughter, Ginger, one of my neighbors came up to me in the last year and said oh Ginger, she's been asking me if I been reading the Bible to the boys and I will and this is at the mailbox and and she said well I told her no, I'm not. I'm not doing that but I appreciate whenever she talks to them about what she's learning from the Bible was so uncomfortable in that moment and that was I think it was a good uncomfortable your your writer your kids are getting a vision exactly you talk about it. Never do it.

It's one thing but when I see mom and dad do it. We had when we moved in our house were now 30 years ago right. We had the arm, wrist, neighbor, a widowed lady who was so mean just to you.

It just me, I mean one day she made one little comment to me about my sprinkler touching her driveway under the water would just slap over want to get the edge of my grass her drive.

Unlike site is ago. I agree you don't want the water to touch your driveway.

I want to go it rains you know what I said okay. I don't remember her name. It's been so long, but I remember we just it's almost like you made fun of her because she said her front window and she was at neighbor looking out and if anything happened she did, all know our yard and yell at your kids.

And so, remember we said to our boys who were young at the time were to go over and regularly wind going over there. She got yell at us on what she's going to do were to go over her lover and we went over and she yelled at us, she came out and said she didn't say to stop but she said we were doing it all wrong. I know the boys are like Phoebe should have come over him for free and this wasn't one time was multiple times and then we thought nothing happened. She never felt love. She never got nicer and then one day like a year or 18 months later I was on my front porch I heard this loud thud next door and I look over the side garage and she's laying on the cement in her garage and enter what was clear was slippery. I think it was, she slipped on ice. I ran over and she's almost passed out and I pick her up never been her house she'd never let anybody in her house and open the garage door walked in her house and she sort of came to and realized her neighbor was standing over and what it happened and she was so thankful and she just said thank you. His first conversation we'd never really had.

Then she goes. Let me take you downstairs.

No, no, that's fine.

Just I will show you some walked downstairs and she shows me her husband's workbench that she has never moved a thing, since he.oh well. She'd never showed anybody this and I now get that intimate moment with her because I was her neighbor and he heard the story of her son in his 30s recently having passed, so there's always a story behind his story and she ended up giving you all kinds of stuff bases long gone. That would give me a snowblower and I became one of her friends and I did not like the woman you never know and you realize it's just something underneath is really tender, you know. But again, it's just a reminder of everything you're saying is everybody longs for a good neighbor. Yes, we who are followers of Christ should be that neighbor and here's a take away a thing for all of us in the same way that we have come to use the noun Google is a verb we googled it. We need to use the noun neighbor has a verb as well and you've done that neighbor ring is how we talked about it here and say okay part of what were called to do by God part of the commission.

We been given by God is to love our maybe that's neighbor ring is loving your neighbor so you are here somehow because of this good I think Bob you set this up that I'm sure you're familiar with this, but John 114. I read it says the Word became flesh talk about Jesus and made his dwelling among us. I met when I study then original it means he pitched his tent among us. I did a sermon years ago called move into the neighborhood. That's what Jesus did, he moved into our neighborhood. He didn't stand up in the sky and say I love you. He moved in and became what one of us. He's called us to be. We are to move in and incarnate Jesus to our neighbors because of modeled this and now you're giving us instruction on it in your book. Thank you for being here for sure with the audio and for those who are inspired and motivated book convict him to go to our website go to family life today.com get a copy of the Chris Elizabeth's book placed for a purpose of simple and sustainable vision for loving your next door neighbors. We've got it in our family like today resource Center you can order it from us online@familylifetoday.com or you can call one 800 FL today order again the website family life today.com or call one 800 FL today at one 803 586-329-1800 FL some family L as in life, and the word today ask for your copy of the book placed for purpose by Chris and Elizabeth McKinney, David Robbins was the person family life is here with us and what we been talking about today. I know this is something that is you're very passionate about this.

You know it's really cool for me to have you hear from Chris and Elizabeth. When I joined Stafford crew. Elizabeth and I joined staff together and we were and a group together and are the seminary class that we were taking and it is been so fun. Through the years to keep up with her and Chris as they have grown this heartbeat for knowing that they were placed in the community they been placed with to share life to be Jesus and that place is John one says to take up residence in that place and reflect Jesus in that place and it reminds me of acts 17 because I think that's exactly what they have lived out and what their book is about is exactly what every follower of Jesus gets to participate and enact 17 verse 26 and God made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined at allotted period of times and the boundaries of their dwelling places that they should seek God and perhaps find their way toward him. The reality is that God is placed you exactly where you been, put the exact boundaries of your dwelling place, the neighborhood you live in the spheres of influence that you have, God is the one that determined those and we get to show up as ambassadors of Christ, representing him, to those people that God is put around us. Your call to those people. I would encourage you to pray and put into application some of the things that the Chris and Elizabeth have shared with us. Whatever God prompted you with take a step of faith, trusting that it is from the Holy Spirit and see how God's going to show up down straight challenge David, thank you for that and will we hope you and your family have a great weekend.

Hope you and your family are able to worship together in your local church on this resurrection weekend as we focus on the resurrection of Christ at Easter and I hope you can join us back on Monday when we talk about all the ways Dave and Ann Wilson messed up his parents. I'm really what we talk about they bring a new book called no perfect parent and working to talk about God's grace is a part of effective parenting will talk about where our focus needs to be as we raise the next generation to hope you can tune in for that think our engineer today. Keith Lynch, we got some extra help today for Bruce golf course our entire broadcast production team is involved on behalf of our hosts David and Wilson on Bob Payne. We will see you back Monday for another edition of family life family like today is a production of family life of Little Rock, Arkansas. A crew ministry help for today hope for tomorrow