Good Enough

Author and podcast are Jamie IV says all of us go through seasons in life where were trying to figure out who we are and what were supposed to do. She says that Susan can go on for a long long long long time.

The same question that people are asking their 20s as I think that for us who are in affording a bond we can look at a €20 bill you just try to figure who you are out so we were still trying to do this as well as I don't think it's I can ever show up yet. I know exactly what is going on this journey all the time to figure out what is needed today and tomorrow and the next day. This is family life today. Her hosts are Dave and Wilson on Bob Lapine. You can find us online@familylifetoday.com. The journey of self-discovery is an essential first step as we figure out how we can best accomplish God's assignment for our lives talk more about that with Jamie IV today. Stay with us and welcome to family life today. Thanks for joining us. You know I remember the day that Maryam and I got married I hope you remember the lives of distinct memories of that they one of those is that the the pants of my tuxedo split right before the wedding ceremony seriously never told I like the splits know what I I bent over or something and all of a sudden I heard this rip and we had to get that fixed quickly and then it was all covered up. It was good but I also remember being back in the back 30 minutes before the wedding and thinking to myself what if she changes. I mean I'm I'm about to pledge my life till death do us part to somebody who might change a year from now. What I do might change that's that's what I was think of is what what do I do if she's a different person a year from now, and there was a song on the radio. This is a terrible song but was on the radio and I was getting married. It's sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along well and I'm thinking that what if the right one comes along three years from now and she's change. How does anybody do this that I was and he told Marian is all about okay and it was like God said she's going to change your going to change.

I'm still God I got this right working to get through this. I was think about that in the context of what we been talking about this week as we get Jamie I be joining us as we Jamie welcome back. Thanks guys.

Jamie is a podcast or an author or a speaker, a mom, my wife, her husband Aaron is a worship leader Austin Stone in Austin. I got four kids one by 03 adopted right yeah and you talk in your new book which is called you be you. You talk about learning to embrace who God made you to be, but there's a part of the book that says but don't just settle for who you are, God doesn't want you to just stay who you are. He wants you to be someone more than you are. Yeah I had a conversation with a friend a couple of years ago and she was talking to me and she works at a church she worked in ministry. She was phenomenal writer material for women and what I could see she was just telling it and I had a conversation with her, she, she was quitting as I care quitting and she said I looked in the mirror recently and I don't like I'm becoming. And I was so taken aback by that because from what I could see she was doing all the right things she was doing so much for the kingdom benefiting so many people and she said I don't like I'm becoming and not really. It hit me, and it struck me because I thought meant how many times in our life. We doing so much and were doing and were doing and we look in the mirror and go wow I don't even know who I am anymore like my becoming an and it made me think like I want to spend the rest my life becoming more like Jesus. And so hopefully Marianne change because she was becoming more like but there is this sense as people who work in Christian ministry, and we do things for diet quote unquote that's what we do. But if waking up one day and going again to I love like the attention and my job and that success in whatever might be or do I really love God just saying I want to know you more. You know, and said that changes who were becoming.

We had this idea, I would become one IQ of the day in Ottawa. I think it's Interesting Way, Jamie. I was in a meeting this past week and a guy was up talking about his vision for the future and I remember sitting there gone. I don't know the last time I felt like somebody a preacher, a minister of full-time Christian worker was leading and it was so apparent it was an overflow of his walk with God, and I was sitting there watching this young man do so. Mike that's rare and should be rare because that's you talk about your book. It's like what is success is a far cry talk about and you probably thought. I'll follow you wherever you have this is amazing yeah you want to yeah yeah just a time of success in just a couple weeks ago at our church. The pastor was preaching and he was going to the Beatitudes and he said blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, and have heard sermons on all of those blessed are the winds and and and and this hit me because he said what do you hunger and thirst for everyday and I thought if we had to write a list it's knocking to be pretty. Some days now and so it just hit me like you I hunger and thirst for righteousness more than success or fame or friendships or love or good candidate to fill in the blank and I thought a lot about that in the past couple of years with this idea of success and I think sometimes in Christian circles among women in particular. Success is like a super scary word I want to be successful. Successful actually mean it is okay if I'm successful in my prideful and Michael and myself all the things and so I specifically put that word on the front of my book is that in the subtitle because I wanted to kind of take some of this kind of scariness away from it because here's what God show me the past couple of years. Success is good, but I need to reevaluate my idea of success because the world standards of success is like a moving target. It's constantly changing.

Okay your successful if, in your career.

If you hit this and then you hit it and you like I'm amazing. And then they say what's actually not the best thing anymore, so you now three more levels to me or you know whatever your career might be and I decided I want to be faithful and I think that when we are faithful with what God ask us to do, no matter the world standards of success.

God looks at us and says you're successful, right where you are. That's what I ask you to do a particular example that I often think of is I've been podcasting for 6 1/2 years but four years ago. The platform that hosts my podcast where you would find out how many people listen to your show. They emailed and said okay so we been measuring this all wrong you had X number of people listening now it's this for my particular show. It was half so I wake up that day and I think I'm a successful podcast or by the end of the day on the failure I need to quit.

I am the worst person ever labs why don't even have a job. I put anymore, says okay to be dramatic that you see what I'm saying is that ideas success. I thought I had with one email all this and on failure, and over the next couple days after I you know moaned and groaned to my husband Aaron and he politely listened and pointed me back to the gospel all the time back I had this moment where I thought change anything about my show from the day before to the day after that email. Nothing changed.

My mission is still the same.

My show is still the same.

When I create a show I needed to be encouraging and inspiring a point people to Jesus and so that email change nothing about my faithfulness to what God asked me to do and that was good for me because numbers matter and work.

Let's not be down here you know like you people have jobs, you got it paychecks and got me quote all the things number still matter in my job, but I'm not consumed by because I know if I'm going to be faithful to what God asked me today I'm to be successful and you can translate that to anything if you think okay will a successful mom is one who her kids always obey the first time. They always say yes, then no ma'am and then they grow up in their ministry and they change the world. But what if that doesn't happen if my child was just to walk away from the what if they become an X or what what is in my now failure as a mom, I'm not a failure if I was faithful every day to love my kids. We got asked me to love them or you know if you think like a woman I would if I'm a successful one and then I'm like woman of the year my community like we have a party at the end of the year and the like. You're the best woman that this community's ever seen it that that success than good luck because that just doesn't happen, but faithfulness to be. I'm in a love the community to got me in and so it was this readjustment for me.

That brought me some satisfaction and so much freedom to do exactly what God asked me to do, even if it looks different than what she's doing. So here's my question as we think about who you are and who you are becoming.

Should a person be content in who they are and who God made them to be, or should they be discontented. Holy discontented HO LY discontented that they are not who they ought to be giving if there walking and disobedience of the Lord. Now I'm just talking about an average Christian who looks at their life on the go. Should I be content that I am God made me to be, or should I be discontented that I'm not who I ought to be, well, I think that if you're not living the way God wants you to live like you're living in San and you're throwing about out the opportunities that he's given you that the places he's put you that's a story where you can have like some discipleship come in as a mentorship to maybe get you back on track. But if you're just looking at your life and going man then look as good as hers. I'm to be discontent. That's not okay. But if I'm looking at Jesus and going when I'm not like him yet so there's some level of discontented that I'm not who I ought to be.

Even as a faithful follower of Christ.

Even if somebody was not in open rebellion or knowingly violating some Scripture. I'm trying to live a faithful life, but I'm still so far from who I ought to be so should I be happy with who I am or should I be discontented with who I ought to be what I think Paul tells us the verse that we all know well I was on the back of my letter jacket when I was in high school and I didn't even love Jesus so oblivious 413 yes I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me that this verse were like yes I can do it all.

I'm good. I can do it with the athlete Jenny is just we like it. But what we forget is that Paul wrote this from prison, and the verses before that were saying that I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger and abundance and need I can do all things through him who strengthens me. So Paul is saying how we fight discontentment it because I can fight that because of Jesus. So, on this side of heaven.

I don't think that were ever to be fully content in who we are because we had were broken.

We have sin. There is evil in this world that we had to fight against their forces at play here that are bigger than what we see in the flesh, so we are not content here because it's on our home but can we know how to do things in need and abundance and how to be brought low, and how to abound yeah we can, and Paul tells us because in all those things. I can only do it through the strength of Jesus and so can I be content in hard situations on my own no only with Jesus. I think there's this there's a balance that you're talking about is what you're getting at Bobby's. I don't be satisfied with where I am right. That's another word to say that I want to be content. And I don't await lay in bed at night, like I'm not as good as I should be. II understand the gospel and I am accepted in Christ in my Denny's in Christ, but sometimes like only a better husband tomorrow. There was today and is not a bad thing like oh if I don't reach the goals so it's a motivating thing I want to be a better dad. I would be a better man of God, woman of God than I was yesterday.

My content where I am. Yes, because I'm in Christ, but the same time pressing on. Paul said to the go on pushing him on race in a race that said for me. You know you set balance right. Yeah, there's a him.

We sing at church from time to time.

That includes the lyrics to wonders here that I confess my worth and my unworthiness. I remember sing about for the first time in going that that's profound my worth, I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I'm created in the image of God. I'm accepted in the beloved. I can go through all of the things that declare my worth and then my unworthiness. I'm not worthy of any of the blessing I've received, like Paul in Romans seven. There are things I hate I end up doing all wretched man that I am so there ought to be simultaneously of us both, then I am in Christ and I am accepted in the beloved and I God rejoices over me for who I am today. And yet he is not satisfied to leave me who I am today, met Chandler would often say it's okay not to be okay. It's not okay to stay there and that's I think when we talk about you be you, which is what you talk about this book the whole last third is about who you are becoming and that becoming is the ongoing trajectory of our life where we never sit down and say well I'm here have arrived. That's right, I think that's my continual prayer is Lord, I want to fulfill everything you put in me. I want to use all of my gifts, I want to be free when Jesus said that the sun set you free. You will be free indeed. In John eight I know that he wasn't saying only, and you can be free. I mean I want to be free and not shackled by lies or my past or the pain that I've gone through because he has renewed me he has redeemed me. I am a child of the King and I see so many women stuck and not for filling that God called them to do anything if it's just being a mom that they are satisfied and content and this is what he called me to do and this is success yeah yeah and I think that we are on that journey. It's it's a big word like that sanctification is that through the Holy Spirit's work in our life that were continuing to look more like Jesus every single day and that should be our desire that was the whole point of what I want to unbecoming.

I'm not becoming white cheese and was working for him and there's nothing wrong with being a Christian ministry.

I wanted this table as we want to work to see more people know Jesus but in a day. Am I being sanctified to look more like him. I have to wake up every day and say got that's what I want and listen God's going to do that in different ways that we have to be proactive in that as well in our lives, then you're saying that success is success yeah definition yes and so we cannot continue to look around and think I'm not successful because I don't have what they have and this is not a woman thing does everybody think this is a middle school thing. This is everybody looking and going there good I'm bad they are successful. I'm a failure instead going God.

What if you asked me to do today in my life and my community where you planted me in my church. I'm in a survey here in a skillet different and that's okay.

I think that takes an ongoing relationship and dialogue with God because we can get into situations where we forget.

I was in a meeting with these amazing women, strong, smart, gifted remember sitting there like this is good. This is really good were going somewhere we can do something great and then as I was listening at that how so much better than that of so much younger.

It was just sent it came on.

Just like where I Going deeper and deeper in and by the end that I really have nothing to I really have nothing to offer. I'm old and out of date and what happens to us, especially as women when we start feeling that we start to become smaller and we lose our voice.

We stopped using our gifts. We stop opening our mouth to say this is who God is and this is what he's doing and I went out of that meeting and now that I'm older I have this ongoing dialogue get in the car and I'm talking to God my father say Lord what happened in there and I remember him just kinda prompting me like let's talk about the gifts that these women had and I went through it and I think they had this and this and I felt he singing isn't great, great, how I gifted them and then I felt like he said and don't forget what I've gifted you in and don't become small to become who I created you to be in remember crew IN you that makes a big difference so that continual dialogue with God. Have you found that to be important mental yeah I guess what happened to you that ring was Satan getting into your head and saying you can't do what God says he did success. You're not successful. You have nothing to bring a table you're not gifted you, not your accuser.

It's exactly exactly. He's throwing those areas that you naturally we have this battle. I mean, that's not just lesser but we had this battle for our souls and that is he he wants to get into your head and say you don't amount to anything. You're not good enough and so I have a friend she told me this one time and I've never forgotten that she had these notecards. I think people have Scripture note cards forever, but what she did was on one side. She wrote the lie she believed yeah. On the other side.

She wrote the truth of Scripture to combat that when she there's no cut out of her purse. It look like they had survived the Titanic.

I mean they were torn and messed up and I said you read these a lot. She said I read these every single battle that is in the battle and you know what I think we don't take it serious enough.

You left that not had that conversation with God. The next meeting. We believe the same thing right. The next meeting. You believe the same thing and not in the word you're not putting the tree sent in and before you know it you're not the right to limit, listen, if you're fighting that's a good place to be. Nothing's wrong with you because you to fight the enemy if you're not fighting the enemy I'm below concerned, you know. And so began the battle be in the fight, put the treat that's what he says guys were said is it pierces it gets to our soul. It changes us. God's word is living and active and so use it to fight the enemy. You also say tort in your book Douglas soul care and community care.

I also thought, even as and Sharon at a new Jimmy is like you gotta have somebody you're telling these struggles to besides God.

None underestimating the power of prayer and talking to God and being honest but what other woman knows not guys on the tongue, guys." Whatever women those for women because I've done what you said before Jimmy Udall walked off the stage like after sermon and thought I was faithful in that success, and then an hour later or a comment later that didn't like what I said or didn't think it was a 10 who have 9.80 you know you go from always faithful to all. One good enough and so success becomes did they like it or I pop up somebody else online, which is now real deal or by my connotation, such as going your great day they're going, you're not as good as I got in so it goes back to success, and if I hold that just to myself and I never tell Bob or a friend and go do that I'm struggling right now and they go to Japan faithful yeah about soul care, but you also talk about community care. Oh I went through an intense discipleship in my church in 2011 and those girls and I went through that with. They are the girls that I could say anything to me. I could look across the table and say I read my Bible since December 31, 2015 Dr. guys but they would love me and they would counsel me know.

Point me to Jesus, they would tell me what is true. I was listen to podcasts either day there was a man on there. He was talking about our digital age and how we are so consumed with it and he said when the last time you sat around like a bonfire you sap the friend and he told the secrets and he did mean sequences and that Gossett like the stuff you don't want to say out loud the secrets of your soul. He said you gotta have the person you tell the secrets to and just hit me so hard I me I just had lunch with a friend the day before and I had just cried to her and told her some hard things are going on in my life and I sent her a message I just said thank you for being someone I can tell the secrets to you have no idea what that means to me is that I can tell you the secrets and you love me and you push me to keep going push me to faithfulness.

You do all those things I say that we will as Christ followers gets into this world still following him because of his word.

The Holy Spirit and our people. That's arrogant to make it. I can't make it to the end.

If I don't have the secret holders and the people that I can be real with and it was a sin and they do full-time ministry in their front of people.

I'm to say that is. It's imperative that you have a secret person because you can't survive public ministry without it. I've always said is a woman I need a woman ahead of me, beside me and behind the shed. I can eat some and that's that's older than me, or at least more spiritually mature that I can go to when I need insight when I can't figure something out. I need pipes here who's walking beside me and everything I need to be pouring into someone said okay and I let my friend in on a secret that I had and I know sometimes when I speak. I'm so attacked by the enemy when I'm done that I go into hiding in my house and I am just being battered by Satan's lies and so I had gotten done speaking and I had really revealed a lot of abuse that I had been through and I felt increase credible remorse like I did share that people probably think I'm this this and that and my friend calls me I don't answer the phone. She text me I don't answer that.

And then she leaves a message and she says I know you're hiding because you told me this is what you do.

I don't answer it two days later she comes to my house. She's knocking on the door and said you know you're in there. Don't wallow in it and I opened the door and it was the worst and the best thing that I did to tell her that because she brought me out and she said I need to tell you the truth of what you've been listening to the ear hearing Satan's lies and tell Dave all to hear about it right now, honestly, but I know I've said on here before as well as two ways to live, conceal, review, conceal equals this review equals life and it's just it's biblical it if you keep it in a dark dark when you have the faith to tell a trusted friend, including God, you are going a step toward life and I would say to the listener.

Right now you've got a secret. I think I'd sent today's today and if you don't have a friend you've gotta find one and don't blame you. Nobody cares about me ditch on you go find their friend bit God's Artie brought you one tell them the secret and you're gonna start the step toward healing that is such good counsel unit was started with me talk about my fear that Marian was good with change after we got married and she did and I did what I didn't consider that day is that she would change for the better and I say the same thing about you, but that in Christ. If you are suing Christ.

She's better than I could've imagined who I was marrying on that day and that's the point.

It's almost like the subtitle of your book you be you should be you be you. But don't stop there going to be the you God made you to be that I got add this because I know someone is listening and there going yeah, but my wife can change for the better.

My husband in change. That's what we do really go right there and you know what, it's not about your spouse. It's about you know you better.

Yeah, you can beat me. Thanks for the book. Thanks for the conversation. This is been so good thank you and I hope blisters who have not yet tuned into your podcast will will start putting in.

You can go to our website family like today.com to find a link to Jamie's weekly podcast called the happy hour. You can also get a copy of Jamie's book. In fact were making it available this week to those of you who can help support the ongoing ministry of family life. If you'd like to invest in the marriages and families of people in your community who listen to family life to the and people who are listing all around the world finding practical biblical help and hope as they to them. You can make that investment today and request a copy of Jamie's book as our thank you gift her book again is called you be you and were happy to send you a copy when you make an online donation of family life to the.com or when you call to donate at one 800, FL, today we are grateful for your partnership with us in your support of this ministry and we hope you enjoy Jamie's book you will be you. We have a lot of family like today blisters who have been wondering when is the weekend to remember going to start back up again and we do have plans for weekend to remember getaways happening this spring course, all of that is fluid based on what's going on with the pandemic but were hoping to have some of these events later this spring and in the meantime, our team has been working to develop a resource that is designed to help couples continue to have meaningful interaction with one another, even when you can't get up for weekend away were developing something called the dates to remember date box and David Robbins was the person of family life is here with us. David sure with her blisters a little bit about the purpose for this date box yellow goes back to a few months ago, when our team was embracing okay. We look forward to getting weekends remember up and running again as soon as possible, but were embracing.

That's good deal longer than we were hoping and our team just said the magic of a weekend to remember is that time together over time was truth where you look each other in the eye and you have conversations that were prompted. That's probably otherwise wouldn't have, and that is what our team is created with the state box you did it in the mail you unpack three unique moments that forming craft conversations that that you probably wouldn't be having. And it's done in a creative and fun way and our whole goal is to certainly frame up some timeless truth that encourages you to really get you looking at one another's eyes talking about intentional things in this very unique season. Well, if you'd like more information or to be talking about this more in the days ahead.

But you can find out more about the dates to remember date box when you go to our website. Family life to the.com David, thank you for that and I will encourage her listers to will be with us again tomorrow when word about acknowledge the fact that this Sunday is sanctity of human life.

Sunday talk about the value and worth and dignity of every human life beginning at the moment of conception. Hope you can tune in for that thinker engineer today. Bruce Goff, along with our entire broadcast on behalf of our hosts Dave and Wilson about looking back next time for another edition of family life, family life, to use a production of family life of Little Rock, Arkansas. Accrue ministry help for today hope for tomorrow