Teens and Anxiety

The number of adolescents and young adults being diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorders is on the rise biblical counselor and pastor David Murray says we ought to be asking ourselves the question why is been something really significant but shifted in our culture, something big has happened. Or maybe more than one thing that is producing this depression starts or is in the realm of 20% of teens. By the time they reach adulthood will of the clinical depression is one of 500 you look at your kids you classes of churches and just go through 1234 and it is strange.

We never talk.

This is family life today.

Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson on Bob Lapine can find us online@familylifetoday.com what is driving the increase in depression and anxiety among adolescents and young adults talk more about that today with her guest David Murray stay with us and welcome to family life to. Thanks for joining us. I don't know if there is anything much more relevant than what were to talk about today.

I mean, I've been watching statistics of how many teenagers are struggling with issues of anxiety and depression, loneliness, alienation it's growing, it's increasing, and to know as a parent what to do if you're observing things with your teenager. I think a lot of parents are on high alert, and then all of a sudden, by the way it 2020 and maybe there been a few things going on this year that have increased anxiety and and loneliness and alienation, depression.

I think this is the topic that's causing parents to feel desperate for answers and help. And I think this is a great topic network and discuss today that it isn't just parents. It's all of us. We this past year before COBIT did. I think in 30 years. First time I've ever tackled mental health as a series weekend at church and church did three messages in a row on it and it was attended like nothing else. We were like we need help in this area as parents but as just as adults and as kids.

But how do we think about this.

What we do with Calvin. Everything is increased so it's on the rice, I'm so glad David Murray is joining us to help us with this David. Welcome to family up today. Thank you is wonderful to be with you here today.

David is an author and a speaker for years. Now a seminary professor at Puritan theological seminary in Grand Rapids and he has an accent really think that is cool you're gonna love this David is now a pastor, a local church in Grand Rapids and someone who as a part of your own personal spiritual journey has dealt with the issues that you've written about in two books one is why my feeling like this and the other wise my teenager feeling like this.

Books about anxiety and depression that was a part of your spiritual pastor and given a month since Sam something that you can know from a book and that something you can know from personal experience and their very different ways to why arm about this topic and it was really my wife's depression.

First of all, that really brought home to me the reality of mental illness and how a Christian can be depraves them can be anxious and had to deal with but then Jeff or myself just over the years. Couple of bar notes which affected me physically maybe more than emotionally, but that was there to then raising teenage girls yet. This is all right and does is wonderful to hear of you doing.see these in your chart to your more and more passes doing this and it's just such like a breaking of the day from people. It's like at last we can talk about this. Yeah, in the big tension was if you're a follower of Christ. You don't struggle, you shouldn't struggle with anxiety, worry, depression, even suicidal thoughts, so people don't talk about in the way.and the church wasn't talk about it and so to be only go this can be a part of even a Christian struggle journey which you obviously walk through. I have to be honest that's what I believed when I came assuming if your depraves driver Noah Christian organic Christian in table 7 below is my belief and it was utterly useless and kindly people with depression and anxiety as a result, I'm going to miss Providence put me in the Northwest Highlands of Scotland to pastor Fred was a huge tree of depression, largely due to we hardly see the sun far healthier and and then, yes, I said my own wife come dine with it and I knew she was far more godly than I was sold like this turns my whole bottled José died in a meeting lots of godly people who are going dine with depression and I know they're not living in sin and I need to be look at lesson study and listen base. I think that was the first thing I started doing and eventually rule a bit Christian's gate to place to which was really the office that awful. I used to believe and yet from what people tell me it's been incredibly relieving.

So explain to us what we are talking about when we talk about depression is it more than just sadness over circumstances. Yeah, I think when I talk with the patient or client talk about it in three dimensions of trying talk about the date of feelings so that we all of Monday morning blues.

Thus motivation is much deeper.

We also may be to have anxiety and things like that we may be of aches and pains in her abilities, all of which can be symptoms of anxiety depression but you really need a width of these need to take a wall of books is for it to be eventually classed as not an end, thus avoiding which is how long it goes on for another words a bad week is not a place in this criminal interior three weeks, then you're beginning to look at depression and anxiety and I often speak of them together because they often come together in a lot of cases so you go to look at the way the date the length before you really move from just ordinary sadness to yet a depression program. What was your wife's experience. Yet the strange thing was she was actually a doctor and as she was doing a lot with people with depression and yet when it came in total in life. She didn't recognize and scream except to fight. She weighed I was going to this must be a spiritual problem I'm actually spinning a year or more in I would see part #of fighting what was the sin all at once. The problem we have had she gone wrong. She more than me because I conflict new from looking up from the site.

This is no my wife year she's she's a godly woman. She's she loves the Lord and she was so the Lord felt like did you see well I so hard just becoming eventually incapacitated, unable to work, unable to care for the kids and unable to sleep, crying all the time and I would say to you why you crying you know when the lovely congregation goes, given his lovely kids above all your money to me and she would see David all these things are true, but I can still trying like that wasn't a rational man comes with logic and rationale and no it's not there. You're not going to find it and eventually resolve realize it was actually throwing the birth of our fourth child who was a hormonal thing she'd been homeschooling she'd been doing some part-time medical work as apostles wife would lift their church split. It was really just multiple factors that eventually exhausted her ability which exhausted her mind was exhausted. Total emotions and the spiritual things we were focused on were not the cause but the fate of that the patient notices of lightbulb moment photos that because we put the close wrong.

We weren't really gating the cures right and once we started focusing on the physical and the social and we really began to get some traction in our spiritual life begun to revive again that you know this is something that there's there's a lot of kind of broad thinking on this subject.

And some people would say well you said it's not a spiritual issue, how can it not be a spiritual issue. Yeah, I mean this is a spiritual issue in every problem to some degree it on the far we can't say. The soul from the body right. The question is that all was a pricing model he spiritual coldness which is I believe a mystique, but one I believe that increasingly, Christians are seeing is a mistake so we don't ignore that site, but we don't focus exclusively on either but trying to take this holistic approach looking at the physical, the emotional, mental, or spiritual, relational, and just try to take that much more human approach were not just disembodied spirits go to meet us with abilities and that were all connected and therefore when the boat goes wrong, so goes wrong.

The soul goes wrong. The border goes wrong you see that in the Bible some 51. Some 32 and so you need to holistic approach to causes and cures your new books are focused on how this is manifesting itself among adolescents. One book for the teenager and another book for the parents.

What's unique about anxiety and depression among adolescents in some ways that that isn't anything unique that, but we fail, the boots were required because of the slave team abilities to read and understand are different to an adult.

Therefore, just trying to bring it dive into an accessible level really trying to be centered narrative stories of teens through the book that hopefully they can identify with and also, although the flow of overlap in many of the symptoms and causes. There are some unique aspects of being a team which really ploy into team anxiety and depression as well and the stats you quoted in the book are astronomical. Right now, even the fact that the suicide rates at a 30 year high among teenagers. What going on is heartbreaking to start to talk about if they get an emotional debate that you know because I've seen so many of these kids and this is a dark pit that something like 33% of teens will have an anxiety disorder is not just of Unilever AG.

It's an actual incapacities and overwhelming disorder, one third one third yeah and effects to put into sort of real people as I was reading recently about Christian women trying solar who went into canceling 24 years ago, one in between tickets or came to Harr came with anxiety notes 16/20. And I think it reflects this. There's been something really significant that shifted in our culture, something big has happened. Or maybe more than one thing that is producing the synth depression stats are is in the realm of 20% of teens. By the time they reach adulthood will of how clinical depression is one of 500 you look at your kids. You look at your classes with your churches and you just go through light 12345 say not yet scary to guarantee payment and it is strange.

We never talk about from Davis and they finally laughing.

The trail three weeks. That's it. Seriously though, I know. I mean, you know, you know that our loss of moral problems in our world and your program covers them wonderfully and wonder if we've got the balance right considering the proportion of people with these challenges compared to some of the issues we focus on why is it higher now Landis flat tire when the happening I use this and little Bart Pitt's PI TA's because you end up in the Titans but I think the first when this pressure. The second one is instability. Third one is technology in the fourth one is split spiritual problems of pressure teens are under just incredible pressure to perform to the member, growing up a minimum 50 forcible thoroughly for two years ago I did exams twice a year and I played and so problems no training.

There was no barcode see his tongue, but Masaki think like the school is fine.

It was fun. We just played pickup silk at the park all Italian, may I look at my teams and thus tastes exams and projects and assignments every day every week for months and months and months is not just enough to play sport once a week. It's three times a week four times a week and then you got to go to get scholarships of the globe are working to go to be doing volunteer work in the boat involved in the charts and I just think a lot of teams are being crossed some of its pavement driven some of its culture driven, school driven, some of us themselves as well. So is not that huge fish I think is inordinate levels and then the instability that they're seeing Ola writing them by things spatially post 9/11. Very different models shooting things in schools yeah that's massive and family instability that something that something that came to mind for me. How families are healthy nurturing intact family is him and even if you then one you're surrounded by breakups. Evidently then kids what a signal to be mean the extent of the our family next time you think back to my childhood. Yeah, again a long time ago. But think about the kids sit in a classroom today. They have drills about what to do if the shooter oxidant. Did he ever have that we had a tornado drill tornado drill. We went outside at was the fire.

I remember thinking I was the only kid in the entire elementary school had to be a thousand kids are 500 kids. That's from a divorce home again.

That's anything that the condo today know it's a different world is about instability and pressure. Here's another thing you use the same example I can member summer I led the league in home runs across the street at the church with my buddies.

We did have a legally didn't play Little League till you have 10 or 11 years old and now I'm coached and I watched an eight-year-old with bases-loaded strikeout to lose the game and walked to his car with his head down them. Pressure then again it should just be fun but man it is taken to a high and high level and you think that, in effect, the kid eight and 18 years old assured hundreds we feel the pressure is thinking getting the right soccer league. They won't make it to the next level and so then we I think put Pressure on our kids unknowingly exactly to pressure instability yet. Let me add one thing on Zionsville to think this gendered instability to his is another huge destabilizing force in our schools, impugning some just rain the stories about this talk about that with that.

Meanwhile, just, you know like take for example one screwing the wall over there in one class, there were 15 kettles and five of them are not going through change of transition. The majority of transitions are female to male. What age does middle school not given high school so the law of instability technology was the third one. The T and the digital overwhelmed which I think is hyperstimulation of the attainder.

Teenage brain is to the just not up to this a moment of stimulation and intensity brings the done time. They need quiet time they need still time and we had exhausting them just we never put our devices then we can stop a red light without shaking a nest by enough adults, but for a team brain that's just making connections and is being formed of things for damaging information overload on that front to our teams know like the worst things are going on in the wattle as soon as they happen. 24 seven with live video coverage things that I might have picked up a newspaper once a week for them as a team and I might have seen a little pot I get off somewhere about you know the latest war disaster unnoticed is 24 seven coverage that Techworld brings the first to end the play is this all mixed up) instability, have them compared to my other friends and seeing what's happened in their homes and how perfect and it never and never essential media.

That's the depression part.

I thought of is that the comparison that's going on is your looking on Instagram or Facebook and sing all my friends are this and that shot looks better and they got a boyfriend in life looks good for them. It doesn't feel good for me and that comparison is driving a lot of kids time to list is not the most enlightening, well I think when people queued at the begin to see a guy explains, and it is one of the worst things, but anxiety and depression feels like this key might of the blue light, tool victimized is inexplicable in the none of us like that.

We like to feel like this because in those fake so it's actually a major element in healing. When you understand the clauses because they need to be some to get your hands on them. You can grab hold of COP. This is not just like accidental or bad block. There are some factors here that I understand the causes then I can begin to look at some Q and the S is the spiritual dimension the spiritual dimension just so again it goes back to technology Davis you said it's all mixed up, but the pornography issue is causing huge guilt and shame, which is devastating to kids and rule and development in every way, but spatially spiritually distances them from gold only one it can give the monopolist the only one who can calm their fears make some that want to read their Bibles done during the parade, the woman would go to charts. I think of you. Also look at just the general spiritual and moral culture that the relativism the multi-fee theism is Vinnie. She came to kids to have just well you flick 100 people of 100 different religions Hydro.

I know mine is right, and maybe it was churches we've which shut diving, questioning, at times, instead of helping teams with the question of goal and service. But unlike strictly a culture all of you can ask the worst questions you can possibly imagine. And I'm not going to drop dead in front of you with an ability to kill you either. You know that's where we got to get to to help them pro se.

Some of the spiritual creation, spiritual dates, which left unresolved can cause a really deep-seated fear and anxiety enters are also the aspect again.

Think of the teenager. Maybe that's a part of a church and maybe going to use group.

There's a stigma that church are and that you grouper in that small group, you can't talk about darkness or just anxiety. You sorta put the mask on because church kid I'm good and I don't about all I'm good and you may really be strong suicidal thoughts or maybe you got a porn problem this cause you to doubt you just hide all that put on the mask is not allowed be talked about is that a part of the spiritual, partly because it's covered there live in darkness but nobody knows because they're not supposed to share weakness. You're absolutely right and I think this is spatially for youth pastors have a tremendous responsibility as well as opportunity that instead of like every event being out analytes G everyone often know let's be real plates just be honest with one another. Where not all good were no all have paper know all the piece likes to talk about so I've heard you talk about environmental and emotional contributors, spiritual contributors, you haven't brought up the biological or the the medical side of this and again there is there is debate on some of this and you're married to a doctor right. If a teenager is experiencing depression. Does that mean there's something going on in their brain given I'm talking about tips we were talking about the cultural factors playing into depression there but yay statistically a physical ailment and may need to creations and just based we have thing to illustrate this unit in the woods one day and you meet a beer or fight or flight system switches on. We are adrenaline and cortisol pump. Since our bodies we are blood thickens our muscles get stronger, our senses get quick more acute and sensitive with why does this happen is a God-given survival system goals given us so that when we do face danger. We can either fight it, and when our runaway, and when or if the bear does get as well.

The blood thickened up and hopefully won't bleed specifically.

Good thing the fight or flight system is a good thing. A stress response system, but it should switch off after the 20 minutes either you beat in the bear, you run away from the beer argued in the stomach and the problem is sometimes the system stay switched on or it switches on for no good reason whatsoever, or maybe after many traumas, difficulties, challenges, traces for a long period of time its patent as noted exactly be our label.

But it's no to chill level and this is very unhealthy Faribault disc disease. These bad chemicals in big doses and they eventually start fixing our brain or nervous system are blood oxygen levels and this link almost to sit in your car with your fruit and the accelerator raves that the highest level was eventually going to happen. That cost will eventually fall apart him. So when we put in our teenagers under always pray sure the feeling this instability. They are being overwhelmed with technology hyper stimulated and keyed up all the time by that the spiritual challenges you put all that together and you've got kids to it in constant fight or flight mode is stress response system is just up the all the time and it's never diving and eventually that wears and tear is on the ability and the breeding initially with anxiety and then when everything crashes you plumb into depression and that's involuntary right and in the fight and flight.

So if on a teenager or an adult and I'm in fight and flight and I can't stop it. I feel like somebody's pushing the accelerator and it's not me. When I do double the thing but that's where sympathy has to commend this intent were not going to come to her teams and condemn them, teach them we want to have compassion on see this is an awful expedience. This is not necessarily your fault, your many factors of played into this. I know one young woman she had for bereavement's and her family in one year that's for great losses for greats traces if you weren't depressed and anxious at the end of the that would be a medical that's normal. No abnormal is and I click to call it normal abnormality and they of course if a kid is deliberately exposing themselves to hyperstimulation like horror movies Goldie video games the worst media pornography, then you go to hold your hands up and silk after a degree of guilt here and we can deal with that we can bring that to the cross we can get that removed and give your fresh start. By the grace of gold and the atonement of Christ is not whatever way that you're to blame or not to blame their ways forward date of this nothing but the overall message of hope that will get across today in our discussion the battle. The problems are glottis provided multiple solutions and we want to spend some time dealing with those solutions I think we've illuminated the problem today in order to continue the conversation in and talk about the solutions but that's where you go in the book is written for teenagers and the one you written for parents. The teenagers book is called why am I feeling like this. A team's guide to freedom from anxiety and depression.

And then there is a book for parents called why is my teenager feeling like this to help you understand what's going on with your team and help prepare you to walk the path with them that leads them to a better place. We get copies of both of David's books in our family life today resource Center you can order them from us online@familylifetoday.com or you can call one 800 FL today to get your copy of either or both of these books again go to family life to a.com order. Why am I feeling like this.

The book on anxiety and depression, preteens, or why is my teenager feeling like this, or you can call to order 1-800-358-6329 that's one 800 F as in family L as in life, and then the word today, we want to take just a minute and express how grateful we are for family life today listeners who do more than just listen. I'm talking specifically about the family life to a listers who had made today's program possible either as monthly legacy partners or as people who from time to time will make a donation in support of the ministry of family life to we could not do what we do with that work for your generosity and your support and we've heard from a number of blisters this week who have contacted us to say we want to extend the reach of family life to a through our donation.

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