Understanding Gen Z

There's a lot in our culture that teaches us to put ourselves in the center of the universe. That's the environment in which our teenagers today are being raised here Sean McDowell Simon these commercials years ago was like Coke versus Pepsi and the idea was if you want a soda.

There's really two options and you buy your own soda making machine with a phase in the size tailored just for you. If that's not enough. You get a soda with your name on it, this generation is being raised to have what they want when they want, where they wanted how they will there's endless options and I'm not sure we really thought about how that teaches them to see the world. This is family life today.

Our hosts are Dave and Ann Wilson and Bob Payne find us online in family life today.com how does it affect our children's ability to understand the gospel when the world are living keeps telling them you're what really matters will explore that today with Sean McDowell and Jay Warner Wallace stay with us and welcome to family life today. Thanks for joining us.

It seems to me (think about this. This is a different world today than the world we grew up in something. Can our kids today different than we were when we grew up or is it just a grown up in a different culture, a different environment, but it does seem like teenagers today course because my parents looked at me and said what's the deal with those kids right.

I guess that's just generational divide who I mean I think every parent would feel that way.

It is a different generation, the ebb that I know my parents felt same thing but there is a different factor. It's what I think think I kids are facing much more that we don't have a history of knowing how to handle it because of the digital world I'm thinking that's what I was getting it. There's a digital presence in our son and daughter's hand that connects into the world that we never had I watch something online, called you girl. Have you seen a girl now and five. What are you doing, what is the girl. This was a tick-tock phenomenon that I'd never seen before but apparently there's this whole thing where teenage tween girls. They think this is what is called a girl so they they make these videos where like somebody pulls them into a room into the Eagle factory and turns them from being claimed teenagers into being E girls with the makeup and they got there their little hearts on their face in the right place and they got all the moves down and they show how they been manufactured and I'm I'm thinking I don't think I went to watch that show. But you have to have tick-tock you took that if I do not and so I think you're safe from you girl I just watched and I thought it's a different generation and it's a different world and digitals part of that somehow this is setting up our guest. Well, I do. I think it is. We got two guys joining us again today and were glad to have both of them back to Warner Wallace and Sean McDowell guys welcome.

Thanks. That is by far the boy or if we're just not sure how I fit into that as I have not seen it or okay well I'll will will look it up after days of hearing are both of these guys are authors, speakers, they are at by all University as professors. They are there involved in apologetics ministry and they've written a book together called so the next generation will know which is about how we how we connect with our kids and transmit truth in a way that it sticks. And do you think is this a different generation as generation Z different than we were us kids. So when you start time E girl I was hoping this was the direction they are trying to connect the dots.

And here's the way we kind of frame in the book. We have a whole chapter on Jens. He walked into how they think their experiences how the world is changed because we want to parent and reach this generation.

In light of where they are. But then again I give a couple give a couple qualifiers and one is that we have more in common with this generation than we do differences, so we tend to use terms Gen X and millennial's and Jen seen boomers and it kind of makes somebody the other and it creates distinctions so we have a lot of studies in the book, but we also say look. Studies can only take us so far every young person is unique. Anything but the culture of our world or the US will just look at a family. The culture of the family and kids process that differently. So yes there are some trends we need to be aware of to understand, but we have to remember the older we get, the more we think the world is completely changed like kids because they're made in the image of God, had the same exact relational and life needs as a whole that we did. Let's focus on what we have in common and he talked about that that the whole idea of a digital generation that does have an impact. So for example we all have the same, innate drives. The drive us as humans in certain ages. That hasn't changed. The hot said sometimes that whatever character you have are whatever the nature of your personality is in fugue have you had money to it just amplifies the person you were before. There's a sense in which this kind of digital technology amplifies all the innate characteristics that teenagers have always displayed that young people have always displayed, but now it has to be seen through the filter of the glowing rectangle it into your hand right so so the one thing it has done, I think, is it has reduced the age of skepticism.

So where you might've said. A generation ago that the first time you would encounter ideas that were contrary to the way your parents raised you. However, they raised you with those religious or otherwise, would be when you met new people and then University setting, perhaps where your outside of your home environment. What now you're able to get outside your home environment on the digital technology on the platform so that young people who are in junior high age so I think you will believe it when we have studied in this is to see when do we begin what's was her sense of urgency as parents as educators as pastors in terms of reaching this generation with a Christian worldview that used me to something we would wait and say well you're going to go to college next year, so will start talking about Christian worldview of you late in high school or look to get a phone you can be introduced to secularism to all the other work up any of the entire plethora of worldviews the time you get that phone your hand we had to have these conversations with her kids nothing much earlier you talk about what we have in common, but you also say in the book that there are some things we need to keep in mind about the characteristics of Jens C that are essential in terms of how we communicate truth to them.

So what are those things.

One of the big characteristics this generation. The gym was hitting on is that there the first truly digitally native generation's we have generation young people being raised, who been swiping smart phones and tablets before they can read before they can speak I still don't think we know what that means for brain development for relationship for worldview for so many different factors, so I think the key to understand the different ways we see this generation. Think enacting is through the lens that they have their smart phones. Sounds a kid like I remember the time we had freedoms when you got drivers license, you ask a lot of young people. Now they drive, would you rather give up your phone or your your car easy they go. Don't take my phone that's my lifeline. All the friend picked up I'll take over take my car.

That's how essential I mean they put in the category of air and water in terms of how they think about life now broadly speaking I think it affects him in two ways.

One, were seen that it affects them relationally. So in 2012, across demographics, we see a hockey stick increase in the level of depression and loneliness starting to hit young people, so both genders of the road affects girls more than it does guys across socioeconomic where people live, and I don't think technology is bad but what happens is that shapes the way this generation sees and experiences the world constant comparison. You see this depression starting to increase. No adults typically can handle this as a whole. We tend to be more mature, have life experiences but we had two young person without any rules and boundaries in context and we see this relational hurt the other side is the worldview and belief system of this generation and Jim was kind hitting at the fact that there's endless ideas and options. So I murmur these commercials years ago was like Coke versus Pepsi remember the soya and the idea was if you want a soda. There's really two options right next to Coke or Pepsi you get a 7-Up you get a square but really is Coke or Pepsi.

Now you by your own soda making machine with the phase and the size tailored just for you. If that's not enough. You get a soda with your name on it is generation as being raised to have what they want when they want it where they wanted how they want it and I'm not sure we really thought about how that teaches them to see the world before we get the hell it teaches them see the world to me as his dad's what you do with the smart phone for your kids but I was lucky my my kids are 31 to 22. Right now, so, so we were able to come postpone all of it until the end of their high school meals with the departments Breaking Bad flip-flops back to the point as we were able to come push this off until later, but I would do that anyway yeah the issue is that we responsibility the phone decently just John is mentioned about this idea related to making the free choices and having so many choices you could make what we've done is we train our kids and in the world were in the digital world we enter in is not just that it has all kinds of opportunities from the choices but that you can tailor your media consumption based on whatever worldview you possess. So if I say I got these political inclinations.

What we can find of new sources that just reflect the echo chamber of her own pre-existing inclinations and young people are doing this to the of complete autonomy. If you're looking for will what in a sport so I can watch on Fox or to watch on ESP I get almost 2 different worldviews from the two different platforms you could tailor all of your media consumption to whatever worldview you already hold and you have complete autonomy ever moving more more towards you see the cables companies are reducing now all streaming online platforms right Disney plus Hulu, Netflix, CVS now has got their own did the streaming platform I'm working on removing the splintered media choices just continues to affirm the autonomy our kids experience. Now, here we come along offering a worldview that at its very core, requires us to submit our autonomy to a generation that is been trained to maximize their autonomy you want. This can have an impact on how we share the gospel.

You're probably not paying attention the culture so with my kids in terms the phone, I wrote a blog while the why my son got a phone at 14 1/2 and I explained the whole thing. The point was not that there's something magical about 14 and half under the same thing in my kids that my parents did with me didn't say you get to drive in your 16 they said that's necessary but you get the drive when you show us you can handle a car with maturity. My dad was little overtop.

It's a son it's a death machine okay I get it like it fine but he was a young chicken dry because your 16 because when you say that your kids, you lose the power in their life with our kids.

There was a few things that we feel like respecting us in your siblings. There's some character that's there. We put grades to it because my oldest son was capable of that want to teach them. You have to put some work into that right now and it took him tell 14 1/2 to really be ready and to handle it. So I think the reason a lot of parents give their kids phones to early is because they don't want to fight the battle, Silas and I say their honesty are constantly and also to give in and that doesn't disservice to kids to the rest of us who are trying to hold back the phone my daughter Christian school.

Almost all map phones at like 11 and 12 what we doing this beyond a lot of it was we got was operating on one income as a police officer. So a lot of this I was able to disable a lot of what are our priorities as a family that would cause me with four kids to to embrace the phone charges of a self meet at some point you gotta ask yourself what are your priority.

Were you spending your time, your money or resources your passion.

Where is that going for my kids. I was able to delay a lot of this to say hey there's nothing for you to look forward to have everything you ever wanted is going to given to before you turn 16, so you didn't get cars that wipes I can afford to give them cars is pretty simple, but also I thought I taught them a lesson I'm driving on the Alondra right now. Okay it's it's about.

It's a 2013's was seven years old.

It's the finest car I've ever driven is probably going to be the finest car to drive, because to be honest with you is not a priority and I want my kids to also feel it when they get in their 50s they can afford a Hyundai launcher. Wow. I, so, so lot is trying to figure out what what is our priority would be to spend our money on anyway. I wonder if any of our listeners right now thought about what percentage of their monthly budget.

They are spending on digital platforms don't bring that up so that's a great question. We actually wrote out a contract that came up with that my kid, my son, who's only one phone. I now had to sign. We setting boundaries you're not using it when we jump in the car unless you asked for permission never at the family dinner table and at 9 PM. It's in our room or you don't use it the next day and shined. You guys are you looking and checking his phone. We are in. This is an ongoing conversation actually wrote into the contract. You'll probably fail and you lose it and will give it back and you'll try again, and that's happened on October 10 we done this perfectly, or trying to have reasonable boundaries.

This whole technology thing. In my experience as a teacher as a speaker is apparent. For the most part. If we have reasonable boundaries for technology and we express them to our young people and why, for the most point though respected, no understand, believe unreasonable boundaries. We don't say why. That's what creates conflict so I am a Gen Xers so I sit down with somebody assumption is like were not on our phones. Let's talk over this generation. The assumption is let's plot Instagram I were sitting together whatever Snapchat because we might be liking the same photos and that's how they bond and that's how they bond so these expectations and assumptions which are not stated are at the heart of at least a good amount of the convoy or here's a question, so I get to dads here and you know title your book is so the next generation will and those who are all about. How do we help the next generation. How do we transmit the faith. The foregoing is right.

Let's say your check and your son or daughter's phone history and you find all their looking at on the Internet is atheists skeptic Richard Dawkins urges study. In this worldview that is not what you've tried to raise them up. How do you deal with that is is apparent what how you step into that is not to look at games and there actually really searching and are going down a track that you will have a discussion about what you do well on them, what you start. That construct is eat his stories with him and Josh's dad I think are come illustrate the lessons your family was the definitive view of the up an apologist for a father there's a sense that apologist number for a father you're either to become an apologist or become an atheist. As I watched him or the other. So to share your stories about you, ask questions to you and your questions to him. The first thing I would do is I would not freak out.

We don't know why we don't have context. I think if that was my son. I'd sit down and and I'd say hey you know your mom and I now and then will check your phone yet dad, I know that I notice you're watching a lot of videos on Dawkins, tell me about that.

What could be some for class. It could be a whole range of reasons before I freak out. I also don't think son son Woody look at this evil. This is bad. Like I don't want to overreact because a lot of things I've done my kids. We were at it, we are up near Hume Lake at a camp in California.

We walked by this Jehovah's Witness booth and my friends had had their kids noun looking like no, don't look at that.

My son was instead us again pick up. Let's talk about it brings in the cars like what is this data like well here's a teaching opportunity. Let's talk about it so come down, take a deep breath. At least your son or daughter is interested in spiritual things and let's get to the root of it before we overreact and make sure that young person knows you love them no matter what direction they go even if your greatest fears come true and they're starting to believe this stuff you say hey I love you. This will not change.

I'm in the long haul this for you, but I guess the one thing about this that this drives me crazy as and as a writer as dad as a pastor is youth pastor. I'm at times we been an event where we've spoken an event and afterwards were the book table and submit what walk up and say hey you know my daughter is 23. She's no longer a Christian can you please sign up on your books to her and I was to the same thing Jan I'm happy to sign a book tour which is not. The reality of it is that we have to do to these things talk about last time we talked about relationships and truth claims information and relationship that that is the marriage we have to have and if you get relationship with your daughter but you haven't been able to answer her questions. That's the first need to correct right in and was a dead part of my responsibility is to build articulate the gospel but also to explain why the gospel is true to be able to answer these kinds of questions to be to preemptively explain what I believe and how I believe it is such a way that they're not gonna learn what the objections are for the first time watching YouTube tenure basin. At first Peter three want. I'm now at least a little bit yet I am I don't bounce on about both my sons what they were group in our youth ministry, which these kinds of conversations were happening all the time in their member. See the table with us as we were talking about the evidences it was part of our numbers you're going to share something about your faith with your kids.

I'm wondering what is worth sharing with our kids is our love of God I hope. But also I have cut questions about why God would allow evil of questions about whether I should trust this ancient manuscript. What do I think this is what resurrection actually occur. Why is a resurrection matter at all. These are things I've always talked about with my kids part of our our faith journey so that I know that then that context, I don't not worried they're going to encounter the objections for the first time I was always a dispatcher say look if you're in a glop and chase your passions in college and walk with the fate that's what that's on you. I get were all human. We all have passions will chase if you can leave go to college and then think is not true. Evidentially that's on me. My job was to make sure you knew it was true in my own kids life. I've seen them go out for a season and then say later on you by always knew it was true you had to come back home to Sean when you were 19. You went to your dad and said I'm not sure I buy all of this stuff and I'm in his whole career is riding on whether his son buys all of you remember that conversation. I remember very well, yes, I'm glad Legge to that point is a 19-year-old I think it was it was a couple things. One, if it was it so this is mid 90s and I member the first time in college I was given email address. You can Google but you could search around and find different blogs and it turns out that one of the secular web kind of Internet sites that began took evidence that demands a verdict chapter by chapter, historians, philosophers, theologians, writing, saying, why was wrong.

This is your dad's magnum opus on apologetics evidence that demands a verdict in summary going chapter by chapter refuted that's how they started the secular web as far as I'm aware, and as far as I've been told times can search around throughout this Internet thing and I come across this was like oh my goodness. At 19 I didn't have the sophistication to answer claims that Jesus didn't exist. Now look back on my head. Can't believe I was taken by that but I was 19 and also is it just emotionally the stage in my life trying to figure out who in my window I believe you know I took this class call authentic manhood and it was all about.

Like your father wounding and you know I'm just like processing this kind of relational stuff in college and so there was this relational component, and there was this truth component is this really true and so where in Breckenridge, Colorado, and I remember when out to coffee with my dad and I spent look at him say something to data one was true, but I'm not sure that I really believe this is true, and my dad is like the glass is 99.9% full I just the way he chooses to look at life and yes I think that's great like pause and I remember I looked down my dad did you just hear what I said yes. I think it's great. He does look I've raised you to seek truth and to follow it. You can't live on my convictions. You gotta decide for yourself what you think is true, and follow it. Your mom and I will love you no matter what he said just don't reject the things you've learned just to rebel only rejected if you're utterly convinced it's not true he's having. You know I think if you seek truth here and keep following Jesus because Jesus is the truth.

I love you something, something that effect is how I remember it, and years later, I asked him is maybe two or three years ago I said that what we really think is that you attract what you are asking where you really freaking out inside yeah and he said to me he goes I wasn't. I said why not. He said because I knew the depth of relationship that you and I had and that is not what I expected him to say, but I realize that relationship is the heart of it, it's the heart of and I think for recurrent listing.

That point has gotta be crystal clear. Remember, I don't how many times I heard Dennis Rainey say the relationship is the bridge you build that you can carry a ton of truth across that bridge as long as the bridge a solid blow up the bridge and the truth will go across and so if you gotta focus on something.

Make that your focus.

Make sure that's solid because that keeps the lines of communication open throughout a lifetime as mom when our kids were teenagers, we had so many kids hanging at our house. It was really because they had the freedom to be who they were nose because we had a bunch of food I think we laughed a ton. We listened a lot.

We asked a lot of questions and we had so much food and teenagers will gather around food in relationships and I think that there's a sense of loneliness and even if not having community and I think what you're talking about us create an atmosphere where kids can come and ask honest real questions that you're gonna love them no matter what and where they can talk and maybe eat a lot to have some good food think is important.

And then when they do have questions because they will about these kinds of things. Some of the things you'll have answers for some of the things Ricardo that's a really good question. We need to explore that together and maybe you've been run back your bedroom, get a copy of the book talks about a look it up ago okay what's answer that this is a good book to have around, and it's a good book to go through together as parents maybe with other parents. The book is called so the next generation will know preparing young Christians for a challenging world. If you have preteens or teenagers get this book or get the participants God and go through it with other parents so you can have some interaction, some clarity on how to deal with these issues. Both the book and the participant's guide are available in our family life today resource Center order from us online@familylifetoday.com or call to order one 800, FL, today is our number again. The title of the book is so the next generation will know by Sean McDowell and Jay Warner Wallace order online@familylifetoday.com or call to order 1-800-358-6329 that's one 800 F as in family L as in life, and then the word today.

I'm thinking back to what Sean shared earlier about the interaction with your son over of the Jehovah's Witnesses material and and I'm thinking we have to as parents and his grandparents be ready for those moments be ready in season and out of season. Not that we have to have an answer in the moment. For everything that we could ask what we have to be ready to say let's look at this. Let's ask the hard questions, let's do this together and here family like today one of our assignments is to help equip you as parents and as grandparents with the resources you need the information you need the encouragement. All of us need to be ready for those moments to be engaged with our kids and grandkids as they continue on their journey of faith. I hope today's program has been helpful for you and if it has, I want to encourage you to make ministry like this available to more people by helping to support the ministry family life to your donation makes it possible for more people to more regularly receive practical biblical help and hope for their marriages and their families. You can donate to support family life today by going to family life to a.com or you can call to donate one 800 FL today were grateful for those of you who listen regularly and for those of you who take the next step to help enable this ministry to reach more people. Thanks for your partnership with us that tomorrow we will talk about something that is equally important to truth is you're trying to lay a foundation of truth and the life of your child. This believe there is something the goes right alongside the find out what that is tomorrow with us for that think our engineer today.

Keep on with our entire broadcast on behalf of our hostess, Dave, and Wilson about see about next time for another family life, family life, to use a production of family life of Little Rock, Arkansas. Accrue ministry help for today hope for tomorrow