R392 Husbands and Wives

God has an encouraging word for you and me today.

The Bible-based preaching of Dr. Don Wilton and a message on the husbands and wives. This is The Encouraging Word and Ms. Dr. Don opens God's word together with us in Ephesians. I pray that you know that he speaks not only as a pastor is a former seminary professor and author want to share truth with each of us as we discover God's Encouraging Word together as we do so know that we love to encourage you.

You can do that on our phone lines up to pray with you and for you anytime day or night at 866-899-WORD 866-899-9673 or email us at online@tewonline.org tewonline.org oh RG now.

Today's great teaching on husbands and wives from Ephesians chapter 5 with Dr. Don Wilton going to cost you to turn your Bibles with me to Paul's letter to the church at Ephesus. Chapter 5 Ephesians chapter 5 in Ephesians chapter 5. All is talking about relationships and he begins Ephesians chapter 5 in verse 21. By providing us with perhaps the most fundamental statement that can be made with regard to our relationships. He says submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Yet we have the absolute fulcrum all the pivotal point of all about relationships is what God is trying to say to us, God is trying to say to us that if relationship with God is what it looked to be.

If we are living lives which will pleasing to him, then our relationships with one another are going to fall in line with God's monster plan for how we should live. God doesn't say to us. Listen, I've created you and I'm going to leave you to lead your own lives exactly the way you want to leave.

God says I have a monster plan.

I bought a purpose for you from man to woman for boys and girls for employers for employees and in fact caring.

Chapter 5 the letter versus and in chapter 6 the first two verses, Paul uses three illustrations to illustrate the intricate nature of the relationships that we have with one another under the Lordship of Jesus Christ. He talks about husbands and wives and how they should conduct themselves. He talks about boys and girl talks about about children and about how they should conduct themselves and then he talks about slaves and monsters here in the context of the New Testament. He talks about employers and employees. He talks about the work place and how we should relate to one another. From Monday through Friday in our interaction with one another. Let's look first bull this morning at husbands and wives. Briefly, I want to read this passage again.

I hope I get the opportunity to read and study this passage a thousand times over in my ministry. It's a vital passage of Scripture. Don't ever get tired of reading husbands. I would encourage you to read this in your homes from time to time. Verse 21. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church's body of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for to make a fully cleansing her by the washing with water through the word and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without spraying wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless in the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself often roll. No one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for just as Christ does the church, for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh.

This is a profound mystery.

But I'm talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself and the wife must respect her husband by the Lord right he's word upon our hearts.

I'm going to say to you, according to God's word that the absolute fundamental basis of any society is the family. Paul here is putting it into perspective. I'm going to make an announcement to you this morning. Most marriages begin will. I'm in the business of premarital counseling as I know many others.

All nondata say to you that perhaps with a few exceptions, most marriages begin will, in fact, if you ever wanted a definition of good intentions just got a look at a couple who are about to be married, but many times things go wrong. Divorce results families are broken apart relationships become strained and we also questions we say what can we do the Bible has some very distinctive on schools God has an older his monster plan for the family and I want to begin today by starting with some practical ideas. Now there are at least 175 of these when I lost count. I'm going to share with you 12 practical practical suggestions with regard to some of the axioms that are available to us in our marriage is not, you might say to me will pasta that eliminates me being 40 been married for 40 years wanted to turn your wife right now and tell her honey. We've been married for 40 years. I'm not interested in a happy marriage anymore. You been married for seven years already have you wanted to turn to your husband and save him husband we've been married for seven years we been there, done that. I'm not interested in a happy marriage anymore.

I'm not interested in a happy home. Let me make some suggestions to you. Some of you need to write these down so bring those pans out this morning, gentlemen start to. Get them out. These are very important. They are suggestions and then we going to dive into the word of God number one vocally and frequently declare your love to your spouse vocally and frequently declare your love for one another. That means when lost, did you tell your wife or your husband that you loved him or her site now wait a minute pasta. We don't actually need to cite it. While my understanding is, yes, you do both husbands and wives, husbands particularly are very poor at this and I know that counselors and those of us have been married for a number of years. We know that saying you love one another has different significance for the husband and for the wife. It's no different in my home. I remember one time leaving my home in a great hurry. I was in a rush. I had a very important meeting. It was absolutely critical. My life depended upon. And as I went out of the door. My wife said to me you didn't tell me that you love me. I say.I beg your pardon our marriage was about to reach an all-time low. What you mean I don't love you. You know I love you. Besides you were privileged to marry me. What is this, she said you need to tell me.

I said listen, just think about all the things I washed the dishes lost not mean I burn the chicken on the barbecue. I mean we did this and she said but you didn't tell me. I said listen now wait a minute, I bought a very important meeting IT off in five minutes and I'm gonna be like, and you know that I need to be. Then she says, but you didn't tell me that you love me so I cite are okay. I love you.

She says no you don't see friends. I think we understand that love is not just a word. It's something that comes from our very being number one vocally and frequently declare your love for one another say it kiss one another in public, hold hands show open affection. I can never understand why couples get married they hang all over each other in the moment I get married something happen and touch each other wouldn't hold hands don't do anything. I mean I just like all of a sudden something happens that is a kind of a disease that gets in the my I submit to you today friends listen to me the greatest gift you and I can give our children is to show them that we love one another to show them that we love one another and that covers such a wide's perspective.

I'm not reducing that the holding hands.

It is what we do and actually see through these things so easily. Number two Michael spouse happy. Make your spouse happy. I'm not trying to commit a passage of Scripture here but you know Jesus said in Matthew 28 in the great commission. He said go and make disciples is God's imperative he doesn't say think about it he says make disciples.

He says my submit to you today Mike. Your spouse happy. It is more important than your jaw and I'm going to drop a bomb headed by folks making your spouse happy is more important than your children. I know some couples that have wonderful children that I have given so much attention to the children that they've neglected one another and one day those children grow up like graduates and they leave and there's the empty nest syndrome and one day mom and dad are saps left sitting there at the breakfast table looking at one another sign. Who are you and who are you. Many marriages become very strained at the edges.

When children leave home.

You see, you have no foundation upon which to stand. From the time you get married. Make it your business to make your spouse happy. Number three.

Write this down, don't have a roving eye don't have a roving eye and all that is. It means my friends that when God calls you, and when God sets aside that spouse for you. God says do you have eyes for one another only going to cite you with all the love in my heart. If you have a roving eye and a flirtatious attitude. It is going to do harm to your marriage and if you continue to do it and you don't repent of it and you don't stop it. It will do irreparable harm to your marriage and I'm going to say to my friends if you begin to look upon that mantle. That woman and you have a roving eye you are going to become a prime candidate to fall into the last temptation you going to follow your eyes with a look, Doug. Six families make that a principal talk to one another about it and if I can say to you friends if you want to safeguard against fleeing temptation don't have a roving eye. Don't be flirtatious in the workplace.

With all those secretaries with all of his business associates that you work with don't make it your business to constantly be going out and having private little lunch meeting. Be very careful set parameters for yourself and what ever you do.

Keep your spouse immersed in love so that he or she is not going to find the necessity to want to look around elsewhere. Number four never do anything you think will be fun without including your spouse and all we do a lot of fun things done pre-don't don't leave one another out of the grand picture. You know, surely the greatest fulfillment that we haven't marriages that are spouses are based. Allow your spouse to be your best friend. What a great reminder from Dr. Wilton. You're listening to The Encouraging Word with our speaker. Dr. Don Wilton. He'll be back with the rest of today's message in just a moment but he insisted I interrupt to remind you that maybe there's something going on in your relationship that would be best be addressed by prayer let us pray with you and for you anytime at 866-899-WORD. That's 866-899-WORD 9673 or email us at online@tewonline.org. That's tewonline.org large, he will discover great resources like this spiritually dressed for today's battles. As Christians, word of God click sites on how to prepare spiritual apostle Paul reminds us in Ephesians 612 that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers forces evil in heavenly places joined Dr. Wilton's fortified powerful message serious to help you understand the spiritual battle. We are in teaching how to put your spiritual armor plus to further equip you, you will receive the bonus strategy for how to detect and defeat him by Warren, 66996699967 strategies of Satan for a gift of $25. Thank you for supporting urging word as a senior to proclaim the life-changing gospel of Jesus Christ around the world. Now back to today's great teaching with Dr. Don Wilton here on The Encouraging Word. I just a word.

If you are hounded out of the house every time you leave the house with hundreds to play golf or whether it's to go to the shopping mall, or whether it's to do whatever in your spouse founds you out of the house and you have to apologize and ask for permission every time you do something, maybe just maybe your spouse is trying to tell you that he or she has been left out of the fun side of your life.

Think about why not include why not make it us instead of me.

Number five plan and do unexpected things together like that appoint I don't mind telling you, and you forgive me but it's the only relationship in marriage that I know my wife and I love to do and plan unexpected things together we get great joy from I can tell you, dear friends, is your pasta that there is no one that I would rather do things with them while, and sometimes it means that you have to sideload other people. Sometimes it means that you cannot always go with the crowd.

Sometimes it means that you have to turn things down. Sometimes it means that your neighborliness needs to suffer little bit do things together, plan them, strategize number six number six when you're away from home. Contact your spouse every day.

There are many business people in our congregation who do a lot of traveling. Contact your spouse everybody. It's an axiom for a happy marriage really make it a point it doesn't matter what it costs. It's worth the price and it's not the links of the phone call. It's the contact that is my pick up the phone check-in find out what's going on, just checking in to see how you all how is your day been let me tell you what I'm doing here I am in Chicago for me tell you something folks. One of the things that that will do for you. It will help you to flee and resist temptation because you will be retaining the order and the priority that God has given to you. And when you're away from home on a business trip where ever it might be. Always make a point of calling her by the way young people. When you go to college.

Don't sign off.

Please call her your mom and dad want to hear from you Dorothy. One of these silent people who vanish and go off to college and mom and dad pay all your expenses, and full of motor car with gas and do everything for you and you just vanish. Call your mom and dad want to hear from you. That's just by the way, number seven.

Don't criticize your spouse, don't criticize your spouse be very careful about criticizing one another we to be the greatest champions of one another. That's how we got married, for better or for worse, richer or for poorer. Listen folks, people lose their jobs. People suffer physically listen. It's a hard life that we live and there's some very real things we smile about man sometimes don't stop and think about what having babies does to a woman's body. We expect our wives always to be Miss universe. But then we expect them to do everything under the sun, and we forget what our vows are all about, and we might smile about it and we might make jokes about but this is what God expects of us.

Marriage is not a convenience.

God says submit to one another out of reverence for the Lord Jesus Christ. Number eight shaman gossip and unilateral advice you and your spouse make a point of not being the subject of the focal point of gossip and advice from ungodly people that I've had some people say to me from time to time but listen Don I can't help it. People always come to me.

People always want to come to me. Basically they signed. Listen, I'm God's personal gift to the church and the community everybody who's got a complaint any room or any gossip they come to me watch out my friend.

Birds of a feather flock together.

Gossipers will go to gossipers rumor mongers will go to rumor mongers and if you say people always come to you. You better be careful because it means you one of them and the reason I coming to you is because they know they got an ear they know they bought a channel to sow seeds of destruction make a point as a couple you going to shaman gossip and unilateral advice listen only to each other to God and godly friends. Number nine plan time alone together spend weekends together, get away, go to the beach, go to Ashland check-in to have you noticed what a beautiful place we living folks. By the way, the trial and Landrum and up into the mountains in Brevard and Henderson have you been in Hendersonville.

Have you been up to Asheville and Black Mountain have you been down the Columbia and Lake Murray have you been down to Charleston down to the low country in and have you been have you open your eyes regarded length of this Charlotte this wired mountains and rivers and streams and cottages and in and motels behind every bush when lost, did you type your spouse and go to some little in up in the mountains and get away and stay in bed until 11 o'clock in the morning and have breakfast in bed and order everything in between. When lost, did you do that, when lost, did you hold hands and walk around the neighborhood do these things go on vacation together. One word of advice avoid separate vacation. It'll get to you.

I have met couples to go on separate vacation she goes and he goes, I've met couples who go to their point of origin. Like go to where they grew up.

When they arrived that he goes to his parents. She goes to her prayers.

At the end of vacation like come together. Don't do it don't cultivate separateness in your family. Number 10 which I could spend a lot of time on this. Beware of money problems have a plan in the program. Don't talk about my money and your money. My wife won't mind me sharing this because I think it's a beautiful illustration.

We were married in 1976 and as we got into the motorcar to go on a honeymoon on that Saturday off moon we were driving down the highway. My wife turned to me and she said to me she got out her checkbook with all her money and she said to me, Don, God is given you to be my husband you are the head of our home and everything that I have I give to you.

I submit to you. She handed me her checkbook with all her money. You know what I did. I turned back to her took that. Probably hope I see the whole nice things. I took that checkbook and I look back at her and I said to her, God has given you to be my wife and I love you for what you've done and I give this back to you because what is mine is yours, and I gave it back. Are you listening folks are you listening today. You cultivate separate bank accounts and the his and hers policy in your lives. You gonna have a his and hers life you going to destroy you going to mull all the oneness that God is given to you. Number 11 never compete with your spouse never compete with your spouse. The lighting want to know the number 12 go to the same church. Whatever you do worship God together.how does this match up with God's word the legal announcement here in verse 31 leave Cleve and become one flesh.

God saves you must submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

How do you do this by leaving leaving your father and mother. What is Paul sorry Paul is saying leave your growing up years behind you. That's what he saying he is not saying concerning your parents discard them throw them away b.i.d. to them, disrespect them, reject them. He's not saying that at all.

He's saying, but when God gives to you, your spouse, you need to be to behave like a married person or two behind.

That's what Paul is saying he saying you have a new responsibility. You have a new home. You have and you love you have a new focus and you have a new discipline.

He says not only leave but Cleve means to cling.

He says if you want to understand what it means to cling you got understand the first point, leave your kinship for cleaning ship leave your kinship for cleaning ship leave all these things and cling to your wife and your husband.

But then you must become one flesh. You must serve and love God you must love one another.

You must love his church, you must love godly friends and thereby you will become one in Christ Jesus physically and emotionally and spiritually, and in everything that you do. Paul says listen listen submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Tremendous insight from Paula today from God's word. Are we ready to submit one reference to Christ. Perhaps we can pray with you about your relationship right now. Would love to communicate any way you'd be more comfortable.

Whether it's online@twonline.org that's TEW online.org but in this day and age of mostly texting and typing sometimes the opportunity to speak with someone to have someone pray with you and for you is a powerful resource. I pray you will jot this number down or start your cellular connection one of us 24 hours a day at 86689.

That's 86689673 and that we heard tremendous teaching from Dr. Wilton from the pulpit but as he steps in the studio.

I pray you to open your heart to a Dr. Don Wilton share next are you ready to give your heart and life to the Lord Jesus Christ. Why don't you pray this prayer with me right now. Dear God, I know that Iversen and I know that Jesus died for me today. I repainted myself by faith I receive you into my Jesus name, my friend.

I welcome you today into the family of God. This is exciting news. Perhaps moments ago you were praying along with the pastor to give your life to Christ or we dedicate your life to Jesus as Dr. Don mentions often. It's not the words of the Savior, but it's the attitude of the heart and if you are ready for a new beginning.

All how we are ready to walk alongside you and encourage you once you give us a call… Has resources he wants to have absolutely free.

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