How Do I Honor My Father and Mother When They’ve Hurt Me?

The Bible tells us to honor our father and mother, but how can I do this when my parents have been the source of so much pain in my life. That's just one of the questions will be answering on today's edition of core Christianity hi this is Bill Meyer along with Pastor Israel Sanchez and this is the radio program where we answer your questions about the Bible and the Christian life every day. You can call us right now with your question. At 833. The core our phone lines will be open for you for the next 25 minutes or so 833-843-2673. You can also post your question on her Facebook, Instagram or twitter accounts and you can email us with your question at questions at core, Christianity.com first up today let's go to Crystal and Beggs Oklahoma Crystal welcome to the program.

Your receipt and letter in the mall with Clark and ministry quoted from 130 that basically asked for a donation at the hundred and $30 and the only time that I've seen on TV and said there's another place that, and pragmatically go to their holy land they had fanned on any pico attached the standard that you will get direct healing during what you and how do you perceive that something so the question I hope that you did not send them $130 for a blessing because I perceive this is just an absolute is the way in which court" ministries take advantage of people promising them things that really they should never be promising them because they're not God.

They don't control the Lord that it made. Frankly, it it it really is just abuse, and abuse of God's word just opened up to someone hundred and 30 right now. This was someone 30 says out of the depths I cry to you oh Lord, oh Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my pleas for mercy. If you oh Lord, should mark iniquities of the Lord who could stand with you there is forgiveness that you may be feared.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word.

I hope my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning more than watchmen for the morning, O Israel, hope in the Lord.

For with the Lord there is steadfast love, and with him is plentiful redemption and he will redeem Israel from all his iniquities for the hope even of someone hundred and 30 is the forgiveness of sins and the fact that God is a God who is forgiving so that he might be feared. We fear the Lord because we we know that there is forgiveness with him and we want that forgiveness. We long for that forgiveness.

Crystal these kinds of ministries. Frankly, I'll say it, they don't fear the Lord.

They take God's word and they twisted and they use the word of God in order to take advantage of other people and so I think that you know we we really shouldn't get involved with these kinds of things in no pastor or ministry leader can say God is good to heal you if you just do this because they don't know the mind of God that we can pray for healing.

We can ask the Lord to heal us. James chapter 5 talks about if you have a sickness or or some need for healing to go to the elders of the church and to pray and have the elders to pray with you to pray for healing and I think that's totally legitimate, but no one can say yes for sure God is going to heal you, and if he doesn't, it's because you don't have enough faith or because you didn't give enough that kind of a thing and so I'm I'm really concerned about these ministries that you see on television and and in other places. Also, years and years ago.

I remember calling into one of these ministries and I knew at this time that they were already kinda kind of out there, but I called in because I wanted to seal it if I asked them what's the gospel. What will they tell me and I got on the phone with someone and of course you know that they were just looking for for your money for a donation in and they said I asked the question.

You know what is the gospel. What do I need to do to be saved and the person on the other line said I'm sorry I don't know. I don't know how to refer you with that question. I just got man this is such a joke and and sadly that's what you see.

And a lot of these ministries and so it sounds to me Crystal like your discerning and like you, you know that already and and I encourage people not to get involved with these things. So thank you for your question and may the Lord bless you so much Crystal for your call. I didn't know about the sand from the holy land, and drink a lot of sand there in San Diego. If you want to yeah stupid.

He got up. I mean, that's the thing they're basically selling dirt. That's what they do and they say that if you just get a hold of this little bless you and it's it's it's absolutely crazy and so know dobby who knows where that sand comes from. We do have nice and though in San Diego.

This is core Christianity were faster Israel Sanchez. Let's go to Benjamin from El Paso Texas.

Benjamin, what's your question for Pastor Israel hello Dr. hey Benjamin, good to hear from you what your question rather also. Recently I saw a quote by one of currently my favorite theologians and pastors Charles Spurgeon, he said that many good books to live in the Bible and other young Christian man I'm really getting my feet wet in somebody's books by Dona get into debt, acquiring a library for myself what books or authors would you recommend a young Christian man like myself acquire by men such as a cure you're already reading some Charles Spurgeon number years ago as a new believer, I read a book by him that really was impactful for me.

It was called all of grace. That's a book you might want to get your hands on other books, you know, we oftentimes recommend core Christianity on this broadcast excellent book written by my friend Dr. Michael Horton core Christianity find yourself in God story, but this is really to ground you Benjamin in the core Christian doctrines that we think every believer ought to know the sad reality is so many Christians don't understand the basics of good theology anymore were not being taught this and so we we really need to to dig into the Scriptures. I love that make make your home in the Bible, but also getting good books, good resources that are going to help you go deeper so core Christianity is another one in terms of apologetics and worldview, a book that we oftentimes recommend on this broadcast is called the story of reality by Greg Koegel. That's a really wonderful resource. I mean it's it's accessible. It's easy to understand.

It's the kind of book. Actually, you could read and even give to a nonbelieving friend afterwards to expose them to why you know we we think Christianity is is true good, true and beautiful why you should believe it, and I would say ditto CS Lewis pickup CS Lewis as well. Mere Christianity. Some of those books that Lewis wrote the classic Christian books. I think digging into the classics of the Christian faith is really important. I remember when I was in college I took a Christian Classics course and I read St. Augustine's confessions. It's his history of autobiography how Jesus brought him to the faith and and everything that was until now that's a really wonderful book and so there's a handful right there for you Benjamin. I would say, you know, take up and read and and be encouraged and may the Lord continue to bless you as you study the word Benjamin would like to send you a copy of core Christianity.

So hang on the line will get your address and send that off to you. Okay okay okay alright alright thank you you have a great day this is core Christianity with Pastor Israel Sanchez. We would love to hear from you. If you have a question about the Bible or the Christian life. Here's the number it's 833 the core that's 1-833-843-2673 let's go to Judy from Sioux City, Iowa Judy what your question for Pastor Israel hello Judy how are you doing today year duration here going to improve your grade say you cannot sell without being seen produces what their yeah so are you thinking of a specific verse here. Judy 2521. Okay so right you were talking about the Sabbath year and then and then easily go on Moses going to talk about the year of Jubilee and one thing well for some to say I think it's awesome that you're reading through the book of Leviticus.

A lot of people skip over Leviticus. I am one of the few pastors who preached through Leviticus. I am daring in that way and I think it was an edifying time for people, but it really is such a wonderful book because the book of lip Leviticus is all about how to dwell in God's presence.

It's God calling his people into his presence after they had turned away from him and had all these these challenges is difficult. He send it's it's God making a way for his people to go to his house, the tabernacle so wonderful book and then you get to some of these later chapters and it really is, what is it look like for the people of God to live in the land to have longevity there in obedience to God's law and what you had with the Sabbath year and then also the year of Jubilee was this this period of restoration of letting essentially the land rest.

Even the land was to rest in the same way that the Israelites would arrest on the the seventh day on the Sabbath day there was a rest for the land and this was a part of how God's people were obedient to God's law at that time in history.

These laws primarily pertain to Israel is this political body and so is not something that we do per se as believers under the new covenant today, but it was really a way for the people of God to trust the Lord what I love is a little bit later in chapter 25 in verse 20.

You don't miss what we read and if you say, what shall we eat in the seventh year if we may not sow or gather in our crop. I will command my blessing on you in the sixth year so that it will produce a crop sufficient for three years. In other words God was saying look be obedient to my law and I'm going to provide for you.

You can trust in me you can you can follow. You have to you know doubt that I am going to care for you because I am going to provide for you and that's one of the things that were seeing here in Leviticus with these commandments.

And certainly that we see throughout the history of God's people is God's provision for them when they were obedient to his word, and so that's I think the best way to to look at this and appreciate that question when encourage you to keep reading the book of Leviticus send digging into what the Scripture say there so thank you for your question. I love the fact that you have preached through that book federal that's a challenging one for all believers is yes it is an area that is funny Bill.

It's one of the books that have preached through many books of the Bible now, and I would say Leviticus is the one that I personally as a pastor, so studying for that that sermon series. I took the most out of that damages really is so wonderful when you when you dig into the Scriptures.

Often those books that we sort of set aside that we don't that we don't want to read because I got is nothing there for me know.

There is so much there for us, especially when you think about that.

The reality of sin and the way in which God puts sin away so that we might dwell in his presence and so really wonderful to see other believers digging into this book as well. Your listing to core Christianity with Pastor Israel Sanchez Easter coming up this weekend and we have a special Eastern devotional. We want to send you that will really help you get into the Easter spirit this week. That's right. And and were really encouraging you to get a hold of this today because it really is a week long devotional and so you know, starting today. If you go through it each day to lead you right up to Easter and it's just un-incurred medical sayings from the cross where we take different sayings from our Lord Jesus, and unpack them digging into the Scriptures in a way that will build you up in your faith and so get a hold of this free Easter devotional today. All you have to do is go to core Christianity.com/Easter.

That's core Christianity.com/Eastern as Adm. said get that today so you can start going through that each day this week leading up to Easter.

You can also call us for that resource at 833-843-2673.

That's 833. The core was go to a voicemail we received yesterday. This is from mom, one of our international listeners and one of the ways you can actually leave a voicemail, is go to our website. Click on the little microphone icon and record your message there. And that's what this gentleman did I there all day.

Not so much with the belief started believing God is not feeling what to do with the file you and one of those bodies is honor your mother and your father do that because tomorrow we can't a little over a long time good kid and I went been estranged now well over four years and not try building those bridges, but my question is when is it okay for me to not feel bad about that anymore just to move on with my life now I have a life baby on as much as I feel my daughter's notice. Such amount of the field good about the way things turned out that it doesn't feel peaceful doesn't feel like doesn't peace with it. I just I don't know what to do about a situation.

Thanks, I really appreciate this question and it's one that moves my heart, one that I've personally wrestled through. I don't have the greatest relationship with my dad may have talked about that before and it's it's one of the I think that the struggles that you can have in a situation like this is closing your heart to a parent that you don't feel like you have a very strong relationship with the just so you know what I'm just in it. I'm just gonna brush this aside and so is a Christian for me really really rustling through what does it look like for me as someone who embraces the teachings of Jesus to obey God's word and in particular, you mentioned the fifth commandment to honor our father and our mother and if if what honor means there is will do we just pretend like you know they were the greatest parent in the world and we put them on a pedestal and sort of brush everything under the rug that kind of the thing live.

And then this sort of lie that's not what were called to do their it's not saying be dishonest about the reality I think it is a call for all of us to love our parents to cherish them to honor them and to be respectful, but it doesn't mean pretending and I think a lot of people wrestle with that and so I think the way in which we honor our parents, is by loving them is by forgiving realizing look, no one is perfect. We all fail.

We all sin and and one of the values we talked about the values of the Christian faith brother. One of the core values of the Christian faith is forgiveness. I love the way the apostle Paul put it in Ephesians chapter 4 verse 31. Listen to this. He says let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you. And so forgiveness is so key for Christians because we have been forgiven so much by God through Jesus, his son and we take that forgiveness that we've received the mercy that God is given to us and we extend that to others, even those with lettuce down even even those who really should not let us down but they still did. We can forgive them. We can forgive them to say to your your your father now.

I've been a father for about 10 years and you quickly realize that this parenting thing isn't very easy that we all make mistakes that we as parents also need forgiveness, the forgiveness of our own children, and so I think we we forgive we pursue. We continue to love.

We don't allow our hearts to grow hard and cold towards those who have hurt us, including our parents and that does not mean that we just sort of indoor abuse right. I know that there are situations where where there is abuse even in the family relationship and I and I would say that that's separate from what I'm talking about him talking about you when our parents let us down and there's conflict and in the home and and difficulty. Well we pursue forgiveness and again we do that, while also being honest. You can have honest conversations with your mother to look. Here's where I've been hurt. I want to be forgiving. I want to forgive you because God has been so merciful to me, and you can forgive regardless of what your your mother, your father do whether they they say I agree with you. I distribute the week were called to forgive as Christians.

And there's freedom there now. If they recognize like yeah I I've I'd really dropped the ball here then there can also be reconciliation write up a sense of their also saying man I failed. I'm sorry and there's healing there and that's a wonderful thing. That's a beautiful thing but we don't always experience that and so I would encourage you to forgive, to love your mother still not allow your heart to grow cold and hard toward her but to but to keep the door open not to burn the bridge but did it but to be open and to be honest, honoring your parents doesn't mean pretending like they were the greatest parents in the world when they weren't. It means loving them even though they weren't forgiving where they failed extending mercy because we need mercy to, and Jesus gives it to us and and and pursuing healing in that way and so brother thank you for your question and I pray that the Lord blesses you and your family, your listening to core Christianity with pastor Israel Sanchez. Our phone number if you have a question for Pastor Israel is 833-843-2673.

That's 833.

The core let's go to Mari in Wichita, Kansas marred what your question for Pastor Israel again a nine and can love never fails a little early fall options, they shall fail childishly similar technology shall vanish way over no important option on our loved one that will just come and I want to depart from nonwhite you explain nine and Jan got her a non-enchanted me, shall have a better understanding the MRI thank you so much for that question versus come in the context of Paul, essentially rebuking the Corinthian church, he does us throughout this letter, and part of the problem at Corinth was they were really passionate about miraculous spiritual gifts you know and and that the issue was while they while they were diving headfirst into into the Dean of the gift of tongues and some of these other things they really want loving each other as a Paul is helping them to see look your guises priorities are missed placed over there in Corinth you're talking about tongues and prophecy. But the reality is you're you're really not caring for one another like you shouldn't and he actually highlighted this back in chapter 11 we talk about how they were gathering together when they were taking the Lord's supper is what Paul is trying to do here in first Corinthians 13.

In particular, is he's painting this picture of what love is calling the Corinthians to that love because they really falling short of it and he's helping them to see that really this love is the ultimate sign of being filled with the spirit you can have all these other things. But what you really need.

Corinthians in front of what we need today brother's love and the fruit of the spirit that the apostle Paul described in first Corinthians chapter 5 per second, exhuming Galatians chapter 5, a person could talk all day long about how gifted they are and so on and so forth. But if you don't have the fruit of the spirit that you're missing the ultimate sign of the presence of the spirit in an individual's life seemed Paul wants them to know the importance of love.

These other gifts pulses that can be done away with the need those gifts in the new creation were in the presence of the Lord.

We see him face-to-face. When the perfect comes in a perfect there is a reference to ultimately to Christ and being in the presence of Christ like these. These gifts that they're not to be around when I do need those gifts that God gave to his church. Why because working to be in the presence of the Lord is going to be perfect love. Love is going to Internet what he goes on to say in verse 13. So now faith, hope and love abide, these three but the greatest of these is love. And so there's this call for all of us to prioritize love and the perfect picture of love that we have in the Scriptures is Jesus himself. I love this.

When you read first 2013, Paul's description of love right. Think about Christ and how he lived, and what he did and in every single unit thing that Paul mentions, there's this is you painting a perfect picture for us of Jesus and of his love for us and so we can rest in that as well brother thank you for your question and I keep digging in the Scriptures. Thanks Mari, this is core Christianity with pastor Israel Sanchez.

Let's go to Jonathan from Terre Haute, Indiana, Jonathan, what's your question for Pastor.

A drill a lot of stuff that I'm alive and like I like kind of always believed in Jesus.

Our group Christian family, but like I thought. I've used is my prayer just for when I needed something and then hear racialism stuff happened in my life that like I just gave everything turning like a not block everything shines like I don't really judge nobody just a forgiven everybody and like this just every day I wake up or when I go to bed I'm being talked about past sins and I just don't know what I don't know what's going on like I know that Jesus was with me because I pray to him and I know that stuff like stuff to be so much worse. And I gotta be thankful that the way it is now, but like I just I just keep being taunted by past sins and I just I know is forgive them. It got a merciful God, but I just what will could it be will look you know, first, let me just say, praise the Lord for how he's worked in your life, Jonathan, and for how he's brought you to this place where you feel like it's at you, and I've given it all to him. But even even with that, we can still be reminded of things that we've done in the past and frankly even as Christians. Jonathan, we still fail.

We still sin, we still fall short, and the devil can use that the accuser can use that he can remind us of it and and and there's a lot of guilt that can be had a lot of shame. But here's what you need to know you have an advocate in heaven. Jesus Christ the righteous, and were told that when we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us of our righteousness is. So here's what you know, Jonathan, regardless of how you feel God's word says when you confess your sins to Christ believing in him you are forgiven take that brother and rest. And thanks for listening to core Christianity request your copy of today's special offer. Visit us at core, Christianity.com and click on offers and the menu bar or call us at 1-833-843-2673. That's 833 when you contact us. Please let us know how you been encouraged by this program and be sure to join us next time. As we explore the truth of God's word together