Can Disciplining My Child Provoke Them To Disobedience?

The Bible tells us not to provoke your children.

But how do I know I'm provoking my child instead of disciplining and instructing them. That's is one of the questions will be answering on today's edition of core Christianity this is Bill Meyer along with pastor Pedro Sanchez and this is the radio program where we answer your questions about the Bible and the Christian life every day.

You can call us right now with your question.

At 833 the core that's 1-833-843-2673 and you can email us with your question at questions at core, Christianity.com. What you probably heard the old expression fake it till you make it a new study from researchers at the University of South Australia has confirmed that the very act of smiling. By moving your facial muscles can trick your mind into being more positive in the study, which was published in the Journal of experimental psychology. The researchers had subjects hold a pen between their teeth, which forced their facial muscles to replicate the movement of a smile, and they found that yes, forcing yourself to smile actually generates more positive emotions.

I feel like the whole cheesy smile thing man that I don't know Bill, you know, when you get up there and really are behind the pulpit do you do you just do the cheesy smile thing. I don't actually start doing a spread spread the happiness around guy. I don't do that. Not so funny because we were first starting this radio program till I remember reducers help in a sense, and you know what you're talking. You have to be smiling because you can hear the smile through the Raven and I actually think that's true. I mean, if you really cannot my smiling right now what you think, unaware, hoarding of code to my regular strong war may be picked up and I remember you listed to our first quested of the day and this one came in from Allison. She sent us an email. I accepted Jesus many years ago but I still sin. How will I make it to heaven when I still sin. I do not always perfectly obey. What if I'm not close enough to God.

What if I don't read my Bible and pray enough, or have enough good works well Allison, it sounds like you believe that in order to get to heaven you have to attain this level of obedience, and even use the word perfect obedience and actually in some regard. You're right.

That's what God requires God's law requires his holiness is perfection.

When Jesus preached his sermon on the mount. It was really amazing. You Imagine how shocked everyone must've been because so many people there thought I do an okay job keeping God's law.

But Jesus talked about how out ultimately law is not just about you know what we do externally, but even what's going on in our hearts.

If you look at someone lustfully you've already committed adultery.

If you have anger in your heart toward a brother or sister as if you've committed murder is everyone there was probably thinking how we thought we were doing pretty good. We really don't do that well and I think all of us who want to faithfully follow Jesus come to grips with that reality every day. I want to follow you. I want to serve you, but I still am battling with sin*going to be a reality for our whole lives. This side of heaven. Allison mean John said in first John, if anyone says there without sin. There a liar and the truth is not in them. So one thing you're going to have to realize is this side of heaven sister you can have sin still there. There's this battle is taking place between the flesh and the spirit. Paul talks about this in Galatians chapter 5 really highlights in Romans chapter 7 where he talks about how the things I want to do. I don't do and the things I hate those are the things that I do wretched man that I am Paul said there who's going to deliver me from this body of death thanks be to God through Jesus Christ else in our hope is not in ourselves and how well we do and how often I read my Bible and pray. My hope. The only hope that I have the only hope that you have is in Jesus, and we look away from ourselves from our obedience from you know how much I read the Bible or how perfectly I've obeyed God's rules when I look away from myself and I look to Jesus. That's the only time I can rest. That's when I'm comforted because sisters you know when we look within what we find this indwelling sin. Still, that doesn't mean that by the grace of God. You know the Spirit isn't working in our lives day by day to sanctify us to put to death those sinful desires and sinful actions know to me that that's the beautiful thing about Jesus is he saves us he justifies us by faith, and then he begins renewing us internally by the grace of the Holy Spirit day by day, but that's a process and it's not a process that's going to be complete until were in the presence of the Lord glorified new bodies at the resurrection.

Until that point were still gonna fight with sin, and so sister except the fact that your never going to be perfect this side of heaven. Don't accept her embrace your sins, but realize that we still live in this fallen world that we still have these these sinful inclinations. He sinful desires and we take those to the Lord and we receive his grace, his mercy is forgiveness. I just want you Allison to rest in Jesus.

It sounds like you have to be exhausted. You look within, wanting to do better wanting to find comfort from the fact that you get a euro bang in your reading your Bible at the end of the day that's not we supposed to look for comfort turn away from yourself and look to Jesus and receive his grace, his mercy, his goodness, and in light of that goodness pursuant pray to him. Read the word serve him, not in order to earn salvation because he's already given it to you through his work on your behalf. The message of the gospel is so freeing and April. One of the exciting things about this program is on a regular basis. We get to help people understand that the work has been done for them have to do it themselves. What a beautiful gift. It is such a beautiful gift and and let's just be honest, it's easy for all of us to slip into that mentality is in it. Bill the God loves me he loves me not. He loves the husband and usually it's it's on the basis of how I'm doing today and I haven't read my Bible and a couple of days I just I don't know.

I don't know. I do know if he still is all know we have to look away from ourselves and I remember even as a new Christian that insane burden of feeling like a man if I don't read my Bible today. I'm condemned and I would wake up early in the morning just feel like I had to do this. It was such a chore and it was so works based. I was just resting in Jesus. It's not that there's anything wrong with duty and and doing things even when you don't feel like doing them. I think it's important to have these disciplines in our lives and I think it can be very very helpful and I want to encourage that.

And yet at the same time it's not. We put our hope that's not what we rest and if it is working to be exhausted and were knocking to find any peace but you can find peace looking to Jesus and resting in his work for you and and that's we want to do and in as you said Bill that's we get to encourage people to do all the time.

This is core Christianity with pastor Adm. Sanchez are number if you have a question 46833 the core that's 1-833-843-2673 let's go to a call we received from Jean all about my doubtful about that.

Thank you very much. Hey Jean, so glad we could get to your call and I what an excellent question because you you don't you don't hear people talk about that very often what is Paul talking about when he says my gospel is his gospel different than peers gospel. James is gospel. Jesus is gospel.

Do we each get to have our own gospel. No, not at all.

Another the verse you referring to is in second Timothy chapter 2 verse eight. Remember that Jesus Christ of the seed of David was raised from the dead according to my gospel.

You also see this in the book of Romans Romans chapter 2 verse 16 in the day when God shall judge the secrets of men by Jesus Christ according to my gospel and then later, at the very end of the book of Romans. I think this is an important verse to bring into this the discussion and thinking about your question. Romans 1625 now to him that is able to establish you according to my gospel and the preaching of Jesus Christ, according to the revelation of the mystery which was kept secret since before the world began there again, you have this language of my gospel. Now one thing that we have to establish right away is that Paul, like I said is not talking about his gospel as opposed to James is gospel or Peter's gospel that kind of thing.

I think he's highlighting here is the fact that he received the gospel directly from the Lord by revelation that this is something that that he brings out in the book of Galatians, in particular because there were people that were questioning his preaching of the gospel.

They were saying there was a scruple where we refer to them as the agitators in the book of Galatians. They were saying that his gospel wasn't really you know a legit gospel that he wasn't a part of the apostolic company and if you remember right. How did he receive the gospel he received directly from Jesus when Jesus knocked him off of his horse and and call them into the ministry and any he heard the gospel proclaimed preached is a he even went to Jerusalem.

On one occasion to talk about the gospel that he received directly from Jesus. They were all in accord up altogether with the church in Jerusalem that they they agreed on the reality of the gospel when he refers to the mystery he's talking in particular there. He highlights this in the book of Ephesians of a Gentile inclusion.

The fact that do the gospel, the good news of what Jesus is done for the forgiveness of our sins. Not only would Israel be blessed but all the nations would be blessed God is welcoming and Gentiles into his family. His covenant family. That's what a part of what was revealed to the apostle Paul.

That's what he clung to. As he continued to preach the gospel that was revealed to him by Jesus Christ and so I what is the gospel. The gospel is the announcement of what God has done in Jesus Christ to redeem us from our sins through his atoning death, his life, his resurrection from the grave. His ascension into heaven. That's the good news of the gospel is what God is done and that's what Paul is proclaiming all over the place when he talks about it being his gospel is highlighting the fact that he received directly from the Lord by way of a revelation and he's also focusing on this idea of that inclusion of the nations into this wonderful family of God, to receive message of salvation. The good news for you is that means that the gospel is for you.

You listening is this not just for you know the religious Israelites.

It's for you, whoever you are, what Jesus did, applies to you he calls you to believe. To receive, to embrace the goodness of the gospel. Thank you so much for your question. We appreciate hearing from you. Your listing to core Christianity hi Bill Meyer with pastor Adm. Sanchez and Pedro we have a great Bible study that we are offering our listeners today. Can you tell us a bit about that you were sharing a popular Bible study core Christianity 101, he downloaded it our website free of charge. Why, because what you have a strong foundation. As you grow in your faith. This is a great study to go through with the group of friends or by yourself.

It's a 10 week study that covers 10 of the most important topics Christians need to understand today and again.

It's free to download it for free. Head over to core Christianity.com/offers to download core Christianity 101 and I'm thinking about if a person goes through this study, chances are there and are probably no more than about 90% of the people in the pews in America when it comes to the faith. I just think it's such a powerful and important study.

Yeah, that's right, in and of course you know we don't go through just to know more than other people. We go through it to know God to have a relationship with him that's grounded in the truth of his word, and that's what we want to encourage the reason we dig into it core Christianity 101 or theology or it even just the Bible. On this program is not so that our heads can get puffed up so that our hearts might grow in affection for Jesus for who he truly is deceased, revealed himself in his word and soak it all that resource today.

By the way, you can call us for any one of our resources at 833-843-2673. That's 833. The core let's go to another question that came in a realist. One was from Amani, who posted on our Instagram account and the money says in Ephesians 64 Paul tells fathers not to provoke their children. What does this look like, how do I know that I'm provoking my child instead of disciplining and instructing them and this is a really important passage of Scripture and me. Not long ago we received a question from someone who is trying to encourage a friend of theirs who'd been brought up in the church really just kind of been in an abusive household and Christianity was was treated as a weapon to strike fear into this person's heart and so a phone reached out to say how can I encourage this individual whose been in this really horrible situation and and had this this kind of upbringing. We have to be aware as fathers and putting on the data for kids we have to be aware of how it is that were teaching our children and instructing them and we have to be conscious of the fact that we we can if were not careful, provoke them to angry for being harsh. If were being heavy-handed if were not disciplining them in the instruction of the Lord. But if were disciplining them based on some other sort of principle I must be honest, it's easy to get frustrated when your parenting bill.

I know you have kids to having children it's sanctifying the minute it helps you to see all those areas of selfishness in your own heart and I think one of the things we have to be careful Amani, and in our parenting is that we don't let our own frustrations bleed through and as a result, respond harshly, sinfully, toward our children. I think when we do that so we begin to provoke them and it has a negative an adverse effect instead of guiding them in the discipline of the Lord in the care and comfort of God's word and his truth. We are frustrated and angry and that's coming through. There is a lot of practical just sort of things I think we can say here in Mandeville. I want you to chime into because I know you work with families as a counselor. One thing that I would say is be careful that when you discipline your children or instruct them. It's not out of the place of frustration and anger. And that's when when you'll tend to be heavy-handed. Sometimes we have to back up and say okay I need to get centered. I need to fix my eyes on Jesus, so that I can lead my children and encourage them in the Lord and that doesn't mean not correcting that doesn't mean not disciplining what when they disobey conscious disobedience, but it does mean doing so in a way that's honoring to the Lord. That's gentle we have to be so careful because there there is the reality of of abuse.

Now Bill, you're a counselor and you're also a parent I I know you have insight into this, I'd love to hear your thoughts to what I think you mentioned how important it is to be calm before we discipline, MS, always easy because as you said sometimes we are frustrated we are angry we do things in the heat of the moment and so maybe just to take a little time out yourself as a parent to say okay what I want to say right now how do I want to say it. One of the other things that I think is very biblical, is the appropriate use of consequences. You know the Bible does say we reap what we sow. The Proverbs is full of all these commands you know it. If you live this way this is going to be the consequence. The wise man does this, the fool does this, and so I think there's a tendency on the part of some parents, including myself at times to talk and talk and talk and get more and more frustrated when in reality what we should be doing is using a clear consequence there is one psychologist who says act don't yak which I think is really well said so to be able to say you know what we've discussed this and this is your consequence for this misbehavior and to deliver that consequence again and affirm what calm way.

I think that goes a long way in dipping our own frustration in the bud. Yeah. And when you say also build it. That consistency is so important for us to consider as as parents as fathers, because if there are consequences sometimes, but there are consequences. Other times, and it it it it then becomes really confusing. I think that's one of the ways we can confuse our children and make them angry provoke them in a sentence.

I think part of it is taking a step back in grace and love and humility, always disciplining out of out of love and I think that's that's important.

That's one of the things the principles that you see. Also in Scripture referring to God's discipline of his children in places like the book of Hebrews.

It's always out of love. It's it's always from this place of kindness, love, wanting the best for his children, so that we are not meant to understand God's anger and hatred when were disciplined or that kind of thing, but his love for us in keeping us all we communicating that as were instructing our children as were correcting them. It's from this place of love and want to be consistent. It's not just the job of the pastor at your church. The youth pastor that the Sunday school teacher to teach your kids about God. It's your job to miss it.

It's primarily your job as a parent is one of the things that God calls us to in the home to be leading, guiding, instructing in the truth of God's word and that's why it's important for all of us to know those truces and it will know you know the last couple weekends there because of coronavirus.

Our church is not meeting so we been watching this really great pastor online named Israel Sanchez got to check out his criminal resist know it's in our kids are really asking great questions based on your sermons in real.

So kudos to you that's awesome Lenny and it's a great opportunity mean those of the kinds of things you want to do. I think in the home is to talk about the word that's a part of how this instruction happened.

So Amani� Hopefully there some practical nuggets. Therefore, you know, not responding in anger not responding in frustration in taking timeouts for yourself at times to be able to say Lord in my instruction in my discipline only communicate your love, your goodness your truth.

The truth of your word, and creating those contacts in the life of your family where you are sharing the truth of Scripture with your children training them up in the truth of God's word that looks like praying together that looks like reading Scripture together that looks like singing songs together to the Lord as the faith is instilled in their little hearts and and God uses faithful parents to do that is the means to do that so may the Lord bless you and your family money per share question Amani and the very fact you're asking that Mitt means that you're really giving a lot of thought and we appreciate that so much. This is core Christianity with pastor Israel Sanchez we have time for one more question. Emily tweeted this to what she said in second Corinthians 521. What does it mean that Christ became sin. Other places in Scripture, affirm Jesus was sinless and that he was God.

So I'm having a hard time understanding what Paul is saying here. Yes, Griffin's 521. I'm glad that were taking this up at the end of what a great way to end the program just meditating on this beautiful verse still for our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him that is in Jesus, we might become the righteousness of God Emily this is this is the great exchange. This is our sins imputed to Jesus. Know what I mean by that I mean credited to him. It's not that that Jesus becomes sin as if he's being transformed into the substance of sand or something abstract like that.

It's that legally if you will, before the judgment seat of Christ is bearing our sins the punishment that we deserve. There been credited to him so that he stands before the father in our curse in our sin. Paul talks about this. Also in Galatians. Now he's perfect. He's holy he's pure he's not transformed into the substance of sin, but he's bearing our sins. The penalty the curse, the judgment that we deserve, but it's a great exchange if he doesn't just take our sins we receive his goodness, his righteousness, his mercy for our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God and how is it that we become the righteousness of God will again it's credited to us by amputation we receive as a gift. The righteousness of Jesus Christ by faith so that we stand before God justified whereas Jesus stood before the father on the cross as the condemned criminal.

Now we know he wasn't a sinner and he was vindicated, he rose again from the dead, ascended into heaven, but he or our punishment on the cross so that we might receive his righteousness justified.

Even though we are guilty sinners. So the way you don't want understand this is is in the sense that you know I think sometimes people can read you know Jesus was made set of ethical what is that he's transformed into center something weird like that. No, not at all. Think of it, just in terms of the legal analogy he's bearing our sins.

The punishment for our sins. There credited to him to his account and his righteousness is given to us credited to us so that we might become the righteousness of God in him that is the very gospel that we proclaim Emily that that's the good news of the Christian faith is that even though we are sinners, we can be justified, not because of what we've done is a big question that we answered at the very outset of this program from Allison.

It's not because of our perfect Bible reading is not because of the amount of time we pray it's not because of our perfect obedience.

It's because of Jesus is perfect obedience, and that given to us by faith in his name. Thanks for listening to core Christianity to request your copy of today's special offer. Visit us@corechristianity.com and click on offers in the menu bar or call us at 1-833-843-2673 that's a 33 core when you contact us. Please let us know how you been encouraged by this podcast and be sure to join us next time. As we explore the truth of God's word together