Help Her Be Brave- Amy Ford

What if abortion became illegal today with the church. Be prepared to help women with an unplanned pregnancy brought a lot of time there to fight when you want me to go to church or modification when really about heart formation and not what we want to show them that love through it all in his church.

Welcome to Building Relationships. Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the New York Times bestseller "The 5 Love Languages" yesterday believes that it became illegal today. The church would not be ready to help women practically urgently and emotionally. She says it's time to change that president of embraced Grace Amy for joining this is a summer best broadcast that aired in March of this year, featured resource using boards book help brave discover your place in the pro-life movement.

Hope Gary is this conversation would encourage people to do not simply to talk about how important life is to mobilize and get involved. This is your we talk about this. As Christians we believe in life and yet most Christians really don't know how how can be involved can be be more involved, so anticipating this conversation with Amy, and I think her listeners are going to post really practical ideas. Amy Ford is the president of embraced grace Inc. nonprofit organization formed for the purpose of providing curriculum and leadership support for churches nationwide to open their arms to young women with unplanned pregnancies embrace grace is utilized for more than 700 churches across the nation around the world.

She's also the cohost of the helper. Be brave, podcast show, which can be viewed@helpherbebrave.com Amy lives in Arlington Texas's been married for 21 years.

She and her husband have four children. Welcome to Building Relationships where glad you're with us.

Tell us your story. You were 19 and you faced a huge decision while I grew up in a Christian home, and like all have a relationship with the Lord went through that action going to church and things that I didn't have that that relationship ended up finding myself pregnant and I was terrified to tell my parents. I thought they were meeting of the enemy lies to you when you're in that situation and you think The most terrible, worst case scenario situation happening, I thought we'd be home right then that the black sheep of the family.

All of that and fell. Even now I knew abortion was wrong. It became an option for me that I was thinking about. Like maybe just the magic button that makes everything to make this go away and deal with the consequences of a broken heart later and Alice is being deceived and found me and the father of the baby.

We scheduled an abortion appointment and we had paid for it. I when they were explaining how they do the procedure and everything. I ended up actually hyperventilating and passing out in the abortion ram and when I came to the nurses were fanning me trying to get me a drink of water and a failure to emotionally distraught to make that decision today.

You can come back another day.

But today you're not getting an abortion. And so I went back out into the waiting room and told the father the baby were still pregnant. He could see my face was swollen from crying so hard and we just looked at each other like a case like this is what were going to try to figure that out and we had been together for several years and we knew that we wanted to get married someday, but not never expecting this to happen, but we went to hide and if I did to get married while I was pregnant and I only told her parents. It wasn't as bad as what we thought it would be you know they deftly were disappointed in the timing that they were supportive and whenever we got married this man had a pastor that had led my husband to the Lord years before he would marry and he said no I'm sorry I can't bless this marriage because he's a friend and so I will not marry you and we were like oh my God, that's like we are such horrible people we can write and then we found out that Marianne, but it felt like a scarlet letter. You know, on her wedding day and we try to go back to church but it's like the elephant in the room. People don't know whether to say congratulations. I'm sorry though they don't say anything and just feel alone in a crowd of people so we can stop going for a while. But one thing pretty cool is pastor that went Marianne a couple years later he called my husband out of the blue and forgiveness. He said he felt like it was his worst mistake in history that he had ever made and my husband loves this guy. He was going to forgive you. And they're still great friends to this day ends up having a fine, and he is amazing he actually is 22 when love the Lord just graduated from Oral Roberts University with a degree in theology and he just got married and I just can't imagine my life without him when he went 16. After that went.

Marianne asked me to come speak at his church about embrace grace this ministry that I started in and talk about the pro-life movement, which is something that we talk a lot about about being pro-life and pro-11 and so I shared afterwards he asked me to come back on stage and he said for many years ago I your husband for forgiveness, but I never really ask you, will you forgive me.

I was 16 years ago, I forgive you a long time ago. You know all about Lavinia -16 years old, to come up on on the platform and he said I'm just will you forgive me for planting seeds of rejection in your heart while you were in your mother's womb. I rejected you, will you forgive me and my son 16 in front of the whole church that I forgive you and it was such a powerful moment and that hurts like you could just feel church was being listed on just all over and that the fact that he would humble himself and that way is just so beautiful and so all of this is really just helped open my eyes to the power that the church has an actually helping women stabilize. I didn't feel comfortable going to the church to talk about my situation.

I was the last place I wanted to go to and so what we do it embrace grace as we want the church to be one of the first place of the girl runs to that of the last because of shame and guilt circle well will tell us about embrace.

Grace wanted to start this organization words the title come from well. We prayed about a name and we really felt like embrace great girls embracing God's grace for themselves and even the church embracing gracefully's girlfriend but what we do is we have support group in churches all over the nation for women with unexpected pregnancies.

We want the church to be a safe place for them to get back on their feet to be de facto discipled to be loved on the weekend, the church is all the curriculum and training to be able to welcome these girls and we connect them to local pro-life pregnancy centers where girls go to find when they find out there pregnant and they referred the girls to the local churches have embrace grace groups and support groups. They get the 12 week study and make it a baby shower as part of that and I have a princess day which is all about their identity and their value in their word and we just want to help them fall in love with Jesus and introduce them to their heavenly father and just because their baby is unplanned by them. The baby is planned by God and that he knows what he's doing and so to really just and empower her and her decision in choosing life and helping her on her feet that were in over 700 churches in 47 states and countries that do embrace grace groups that their churches have the support log when you were going through this yourself.

Now I am fact I just felt so alone. Even though I was married, you know, a lot of these moms that we have embrace grace the baby God is an involved and they just feel completely alone and then your friends kind of distance themselves and like I said earlier, people don't know whether to say congratulations. I'm sorry Phil just kind of feel like you're completely alone and I know that I would've loved to have a support system like this when I was pregnant and I can't tell you how many people women come to me and say if there was something like this years ago, I probably wouldn't have chosen abortion and and and so we want.

We just want the church to be known for their love and and to be like these girls. A lot of times are just like weight want me to go to church. Did you know that I'm pregnant and I'm not. I'm single and their first thought is that they think it's about behavior modification when really it's about heart transformation and that's what we want to show them God's love through his people in his church. We began our program with the question if abortion became illegal to would the church be ready well or get in there and I'm seeing a huge change from even 10, 20 years ago, but really working I have to ask the church be ready to help when, physically, spiritually and emotionally likely can't just vote a certain way and then when a girl find out she's pregnant at the church to say hope it works out for Yale, can't really help you, and we have to be ready. I was talking to a girl the other day. She said that when she first matches pregnant. She was crying so hard. So emotional didn't know what to do and she emailed three churches in her community had never step in a church at all ever and emailed three churches to say I need help. Can you tell me what to do there someone I can talk to you and only one responded and not one had an embrace grace grip and that are connected in and so if we can even email it down and have a conversation or respond to an email were not ready and we get the church ready what ways is the pro-life movement extend beyond just the decision to have a baby. Wow. You know I never had grown up in church my entire life and I never knew that with the pro-life movement. Like when I thought about pro-life movement. I thought that meant picketers standing outside abortion clinics and telling girl to repent and you know all that all the media show like they don't show anything really more and so I was asked to speak at this pro-life conference on my first book came out even starting a break.

We weren't like starting a pro-life organization that never even crossed her mind's ear. Just like let's help with women with unplanned pregnancies, like I just never knew I would have to speak at this pro-life conference and I had never heard of the organization ever now and and grown up in my church a whole is a huge organization. Now that I look back at believe that I had never heard of, though I show up and we had her bills and I was blown away by the hundreds, just they are at that specific conference of vendors and booth organization of boots on the ground helping these women not only through just the pregnancy but for all like single motherhood and going into just being a young young single mom and in embrace grace thickly. I believe that the church like we can help her whole life. If you'll allow an initial three spiritual family and we help each other you know and sell the pro-life movement specifically within the church is forever. These organizations that are out there.

I just was completely blown away at how many people want to help creative ways on how to help and they go way beyond just the pregnancy and going into empowering her as a woman in her walk and and parenting. But if she chooses to place her baby for adoption or our Tuesday parent what you say to those who criticize pro-lifers so well you did all you care about sick on board. Yeah, we hear that sometimes it's really a lack of education of not knowing what's out there and again like an embrace grace.

I'm just witnessing the church coming together and so many great away like just looking at that might not have been. He's great at finances and financial things is an insurance agent so he helps other single mom mentor her with showing her how to do her finances because that's one thing about pleasing people help with childcare wasting people help with helping her start her resume and get a new job. I mean the church all these amazing people and resources that we can use to make a difference. I know one time there was this woman that came up to me who the pro-life atheist and she just believe in the science side of the of being pro-life and she asked me to speak at Berkeley College and onto Pro-life speakers there all day and she's likely you think I said wall. Yeah, I guess like you know I talk about God and the church and not the kind of limp. I think I get passion about believing in God, but I believe in the power of your people and if you get your people to actually do something issue wouldn't be an issue anymore was like oh wow that is a statement and actually really really have over 300,000 churches in America like if we really were doing something, anything, whatever strength action gift that we have inside each of us.

How can we use that to help a woman. Be brave in her life decision and I could be more like as a single mom helping someone with her with her child care or babysitting. Sometimes little things like that help empower her to know.

Like I have all of the support that out there. Why would I feel the need to go. Choose an abortion when there are so many amazing people out there that want to help me along the way necessarily handouts left and right hand up like let's empower her and help her toward your dreams so that she can sustain and parenting and be able to do and not just survive but thrive. What about the woman who decided to follow through with an abortion or maybe she's already had one. We minister to her. Oh my gosh yes I'm passionate about that too.

I believe that every church that have abortion healing group within our churches. There's great curriculum out there to choose from and having a small group of abortion healing. I once was on speaking at conference at my church and it was a big women that they have every year that they convention center and there were 10,000 women there and they were interviewing me about embrace grace.

And, you know I say when they choose life are brave and all the staff and so the lady that interviewed me with, like, okay, thank you so much for coming and sharing. I said I just felt the Holy Spirit prompt me and I said hold on. One thing I want to say one more thing. I said there are 10,000 women that are in this arena and that means about 2500 of you have experienced an abortion because one in four women and men have expansion abortion and I just want to let you know that I love you and that you're not disqualified from ministry that you are qualified.

He wants to kill your heart this weekend at the conference, and an ending. Revelation 1211 says we overcome by the blood of the layman. The word of our testimony, so use your story to save lives to change lives and be bold and couple offenses that was that when a 51. Afterwards, I went back to our booth after that session ended and we were completely overwhelmed and inundated with women.

They had no running down her cheeks and you look in there.

I like you knew why they were there and I remember specifically, there were three women and matching T-shirts. They were sisters that were having fun conference weekend and the one in the mail could barely walk. They were like even holding her, and they brought her to me and they said she's very overwhelmed with emotion right now that she can't she gathering her. Her thoughts, but they she wanted to come talk to you and I will never forget.

She looked at me and these tears there's just running down her face and she said you mean to tell me that God can use me for something that had never dawned on her that that God can forgive and that God can use her and I believe there women and men in our cues that feel the exact same way and they're not telling anyone about their past abortion and it's really holding them back from all of the things that I want to do in and through them because it is a shame that they're tearing from it. And if we can help that people free.

Free people free people believe it can be a revival in our churches like it would change everything and all you know it didn't have to be a big sermon on why abortion is wrong or anything like that and just had a couple of sentences at the end of my talk and that which is like a breakthrough that happened in so many women's lives and on and not girl went on to lead an embrace grace group and so she's able to be the person that she wished she had years ago when she made her abortion decision. She gets to be the person she wished was was around for her in it so healing to be able like that. Revelation 1211 appealing be able to tell her story and help when and not feel like they have to make the decision that she did years ago, or that I almost did your listeners are involved in churches. Of course, one of the first absolute church can take towards supporting mothers who are facing an unplanned pregnancy. While I think for sure. Knowing what to whom and what your local pregnancy center and where it is, every community ties these pregnancy centers are completely free for the one man to get a free pregnancy, sonogram find that know where it is, so that when you do meet someone has an unexpected pregnancy you can take her there and she can get the support notes that centers know all the resources that are out there in your community that can help her be brave and her decision and so first and foremost, and in fact and starting an embrace grace group at your church and and welcoming her and and all of these girls help each other as well and they know what resources are out there the growth or pregnant leaders get to lead them and help them in their walk with the Lord and and that that is integral and then just even knowing what resources in your community are out there and the pregnancy centers can help you with that but II think that every church should have a resource list of all the organizations that want to help in your communities so that if a girl is making a decision to choose life, but she really needs help in this area or that area that you know what support is out there and everything every community is different, but most communities have a lot. You just have to dig into know where that is and have every pastor acquits with that list so that they can be ready if a girl comes to them. A lot of pastors feel like oh you know we'll Pregnant people in our church when I hear that a lot and number one yes you do.

You've got people in church or just an older church with older people and you and it's small and you really don't Bring people in your church.

Well, we went to change the perspective of the back and you we have to look at it as an outreach like go find them there and everywhere go to the pregnancy centers and tell them you want their clients that come and go to the Facebook buy sell trade pages I see them post all the time that there pregnant and need help and are scared or go to the high schools and talk to the nurses that are that the student nurses that are there because they find out there too and just even letting your church be word-of-mouth you know what my hairdressers daughters pregnant or whatever and be equipped with all of that so that you can welcome them into your church so that they can be loved, unsupported and powered and equipped person will discover what is going on in your community through the pregnancy centers primarily starts or they probably know what's going on there the rest the community sure to let them know the people in your church are willing and open to help if I can give guidance on that you're into it right.

One of the most common reasons why a woman chooses an abortion and how can the church step in that address reasons while the root of every abortion and if you look at you now the top five reasons it fear of being alone or the baby died, leaving fear of my parents hating me fear of education being interrupted.

There is also fear financial fears not having enough money not being able to support child but fear is the root of every abortion decision and so that's why my book help her be brave discover your place in the pro-life movement. That is why her tagline if it is what it is to help her be great. How can we help eliminate the fear and help her be brave in your decision. You know I wish there was like a cookie-cutter way we help save the baby and empower a woman you know able speak will see a baby save a woman empower, but it's very Holy Spirit led it's very unique with every girl situation of what she needs. What support she needs and still walking alongside her in that is super important and so but I will say this book help her be brave. It had over 300 ideas of how you can use your strength, passion, and get us to help a woman. Be brave and her decision on lots of stories that will inspire bet especially just practical things that you can do to help her in her decision and unity, and in doing and awaken complicate strength and get inside each of us things that we love to deal already and so how can you use that in a way that actually is empowering a woman in her decision and helping her. Be brave. I will do what you said just a minute ago and I want to come back to it because I've always heard hurt people hurt people.

I know that instance, people who are hurt spread the herd around, but the opposite corollary as truths free people free people. You give other people wings and and to think that you could take the hurt and the pain you've experienced and turn that around and help somebody else be free. Just sit in that for a minute and explain that people help you know people you know freedom is contagious and the more in other than me to movement with with sexual abuse stories that kind of here in the last year to have kind of gotten a lot women have become a lot more vocal in their media stories that I believe even with abortion stories. We can create a me to movement here because a lot of times I'll speak and I'll talk about embrace grace and all of that and afterwards always have someone at least one usually several whisper in my ear and say I had an abortion. Years ago, but God healed me and I look at her now.

They will wire you whispering it might go and tell people tell help women be brave go server the pregnancy center and talk to the women, no growth, and entire story you can be bolded to the more people talk about it, the more freedom and healing and help three other people actually happened so many times and it's amazing and completely true that free people free people.

Thanks for joining us today for Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman find us online@ 5lovelanguages.com we have some great resources for you a tool to assess your love language you can hear a podcast of the program and find out about our featured resource. It's the book by Amy Ford help her be brave discover your place in the pro-life movement. Just go to five love languages.com limit we been talking about your organization embrace grace explained is exactly what that is the difference which might in lives of women the minister to, well, we want to share the gospel and and help when both spiritually and emotionally and physically through embrace grace.

Support groups support groups in churches all over the nation for women with unexpected pregnancies and we want to help her and in every way we want to share the gospel give her hope empower her and in her life decision and empower her as a mom and I know we had one girl wants that she's awaken. She believed in witchcraft, but she wanted to come because we give them a free baby shower, and she told me ahead of time. She's like, hey, I'm white and it's okay but succumbed your group would like sure you and she goes through our entire program all 12 weeks.

She never misses a class actually would have a car so I would pick her up and take her back comments we get to spend even more time together and and she was super smart and one day she said have only makes me feel when I come to this group and held onto that. I was like Lord, I believe she's can have a salvation experience. I'm so excited to get the whole master never missing a class and does the Princess day baby shower all the things and I remember being upset because she didn't, I thought that she would choose Jesus by the end of it and by the time and it wasn't it. She didn't make that decision. I remember I was upset talking to God about it even felt a little offended.

Even though I would never tell her I was like what happened here.

She did the whole thing. She like the way it made her feel when she came in all of that and I heard the Lord say do you think a girl that is what weekend would have ever step foot in a church up yet and created a safe place for her to be here and so I was like okay you now say he said let just let me do what I do track with her for a while because she a lot of single mom packagings or phone numbers because of whatever random reasons and I lost track of her. But one day she called me a year later, out of the blue, totally freaking out and she said Amy I feel like lately God been trying to talk to me like I wasn't for sure if it's God I would think like I would think something and then something would happen and she said one day she was going to work. She's working at restaurant/gas station and the manager and she said I told God.if you that's trying to talk to me and show me things like I want you to do something bigger. I don't want to just think that your real I went know that your real and so she goes into work and right before closing. A guy walks after, remember she said that he looked a little nervous and he looked at her and he said I felt like the Lord wanted me to tell you the total stranger that he sees you and he loves you and all he wants is your heart like straight home and she pulled her embrace grade curriculum out. It's got a salvation prayer and there she said she put the tiara from Princess day on her head and she looked in the mirror because she said I wanted it to be a moment that I never forgot that I wasn't like I think I surrender my life to Jesus, she's like I knew it I knew the date and the time ended.

This was my moment that she prayed a salvation prayer and I love that I was the first person she called and afterwards I was just thinking died in and he reminded me of. She liked the way it made her feel the church and that's what it IS not kindness that leads us to repentance that what she is God's love that change of heart.

And I think about how that man is obeyed in obedience of the spirit of the Holy Spirit, prompting him to go talk to her and she even said he was nervous and kind of you clamoring a little bit and he had no idea.

I walked out the wind like a dork with no idea to write home and surrendered her life to Jesus like I can just imagine someday when he's in heaven and Jesus can show him you know.

Remember that time I told you go talk to that girl what he or she is and here's her kids and her grandkids and the legacy that has been left behind because of his obedience and and it's just love and and it's all of us working together and allowing the Holy Spirit to work in and through essence and so I weeded we got the point feeds through embrace grace through opening our doors to her that she only came because she wanted the free stuff and ended up surrendering her life to Jesus through embrace grace group, which is amazing. It's powerful powerful. Well, the love of God flowing through his people reaching out not condemning trying God the Spirit draws people to himself to talk about the shame culture and how it affects unmarried mothers and women who have had abortions. Can you tell us what this means for the church and how we can make a difference change things. Well, the abortion rate is exactly the same and by the church as it is outside no different.

So there are women and are cues that are going and getting abortions because they don't feel like the church is a safe place for them to talk about or you know for help or guidance things like that. They just go get the abortion and then deal with PTSD priming abortion is a trauma extremely hard and and hurtful and and so she just sits there in her pain and she doesn't feel like she can talk and I believe we had one church, one spot to break it for one semester and I wanted to change some things and it was like they made a rule no leader is ever allowed to tell a girl with an unexpected pregnancy that a baby is a blessing and that they didn't want the baby shower to be a celebration, and they would didn't want any presents wrapped because they didn't want to feel like a party or celebration and is just a shame culture when feeding into going and getting an abortion. I mean I just feel like that pastor has he ever read the prodigal son story. It wasn't like yesterday's left over. It was a feast. It was a party celebrating with laughter now and now he came home and even prodigal son story you know that my favorite part is, it says, and while he was a long way off.

The father ran to him and he had a servant to robe on his back in a ring on his finger and since I'm so glad you're home and a lot of these girls are still a long way off, but they turn they turn towards their heavenly father and we can be a part of the brain showed that the throwing the party and in partnering with having to show her what real lovely women same day and night of the baby shower surrender their life to Jesus because they're so overwhelmed by the love of the church that gave her through that they're getting a little glimpse of how much God must love them.

We actually had at my you know I read the national event that actually have at my church to a gateway church in Southlake. We have to do an altar call baby showers with hundreds of people come and our like losing ever talking about it and saying you know that you're welcome here, and that if you have an unexpected pregnancy like you're welcome here. We want to help you through it and and help you make the right decisions and and and wrap her arms around you and help you and support you will go support from others who lose their babies will ask but like yeah that happens, and it's so hard.

I know there are a lot of churches have group for miscarriage or infant live. I think even embrace racing as a girl have an unexpected pregnancy in and she's going to embrace grace and that we've had this sometimes unfortunately happens or she loses her baby and so then you fell back to the like do you take her out of the group but yet it's really hard for her to be around other women that are pregnant you Nelson we want to make sure that she's handed off into safe hands of someone and maybe at your church that has walked that road or to start an M and a miscarriage and loss group. There's also connecting Arctic counselors that are out there. I know when can we had a girl that was very far along in embrace grace and laughter baby and it was right before the baby shower in class we just felt so terrible about it so we ended up doing a private party for her and we just loved on her. We had a hair team in a makeup team just make her feel beautiful and outside. We had like a in memory of table for her little girl that was lost, and just talked about her and just sat with her when she cried and held her hand through it. We had a big feast and just and in honor of her. Her baby that was lasted just being Holy Spirit led there there so many different ways that we can help her, but just really making sure that she never feels alone to the process we use the term in your book pro-holy laws.

Yes, I use the word pro-love a lot to you.

I just believe being pro-life is a stance, but being pro-love action action behind you know we can vote a certain way and make it said that abortion is illegal, which is important, but we also even more importantly, need to make it unthinkable and so that means that the pro-whole life look of consistent life ethic of helping her and empowering her not only through the pregnancy, but as the church for her whole life shall allow it. We can't just vote a certain way and then take a lot, you know. Hope it works out.

We've we've got to be able to to get her connected to the resources that are out there to walk alongside her and to make abortion unthinkable because of all the great resources people that are boots on the ground that want to help and I just feel like people do you have a heart to want to help it alive and just don't know how like what what can I do. And so in my book help her be brave and have hundreds of ideas and ways to help her and uphold having a hope pro-whole life look at this issue are single moms in the Bible.

So what can we learn from well for sure Hagar she was the first single mom in the Bible and I love that she referred to God as God sees you know she got to the place where she didn't have any food or resources, and tucked her son under a tree one day to just take a little break in and she could hear him crying at is is Ishmael and she turned away because it just hurt her heart so much and and that's an angel came in they and provided water in and she referred to God as the God sees and I love that the first child. You know raised by single mom. His name means God hears Ishmael and love that God see the single mom. His heart is for anything on mom and he hears the prayers of their children and he loves themselves so so much and it's hard you know there are consequences this man and it's hard to be a mom. There's a lot of adversity and things to overcome but we can walk alongside her and provide the water and help her through this journey that she's on and help her connector did to God because of a single mom and her baby please God.

It can be a complete family leaning on him. He can show what a complete family looks like.

What can man do you know what some people say well this is a women's thing about moon. While I don't agree with that at all. I feel I can then have a powerful role in helping win and choose life. In fact, one of the main reasons why women have abortions if one of the top five is because of the of the man you know thinking that he won't support her, he may be mad and leave her things like that and so we need more spiritual father in this movement to help these bad know how to parent. A lot of them never had dad themselves so they don't even really know how to step in and be a father.

We actually are launching this month. The embrace legacy, which is a new program for single young dads are young fathers, and that can be in churches all over the nation as well and are really excited about it because a lot of them just need men touring and help.

But there are.

I like I said earlier in and show that my husband help them with her finances and I may just there's a lot of things we have guys doing helping with auto repairs in helping a single mom and that way using your voice on social media for life that we've had some dads gonna step in to be kind of for my husband. He and help sometimes with finances with birthing a mom he'll sometimes help with showing up to certain things that they beat like a dad to calm you now think that there are so many ways that men can be involved in the movement and that for sure. Check into embrace legacy embrace legacy.com if you want to help start a group for young single dad at your church teenagers teen motorhomes their differences. If you're pregnant as a teenager, as opposed to your young 20s middle 20s for sure. I mandated completely different scenarios you know we when we have embrace transit for teens and 20s and 30s and felt he moms are kind of more still focused on what's going on at school and the dynamics between having parents that are or may be really upset about the situation and then we have the 20s and 30s that are more focused on Mike how am I going to pay my bills and how I might be able to work through this pickup with life and how do I do I overcome some of the adversities that look like could be standing in and not my way. So we work through both of those that he moms want to help them get back on their feet. It's hard for women that have grown up in the church. The you know, we've used loosely.

This word purity and in others purity rings and things like that but the thing is is a girl can't lose her purity she can lose her virginity. She can't lose her purity and so because we've kind of pushed back onto women in the church for years I've seen these girls are growing up in a church in a mess and may you now have facts or get pregnant and they throw their purity rings in the trash because there like I lost my purity and that thinking is just not right. And so then their dislike will I guess I'll just go have sex with whoever and I'm dirty now and no one's ever gonna want me their value completely diminishes when we have to change that having a pure heart would look like to have a pure heart like the Holy Spirit guide her decisions and letting God's word that her decisions, but you can't lose you purity, you know his mercies are new every morning like start again and you are valuable and you are worthy. And just because you messed up doesn't mean you know your dirty now and so were trying to read the wire that especially with teenagers and and that they're not valuable. They are very valuable to retraining their thinking without so important. We know that many Christians are pro-life to read the scriptures, I think you almost have to be pro-life but what about people who are Christians by religious or religious wash of the pro-life movement better to avail well even with people that are pro-choice like you can't argue with loving people where like adumbrates grace and all a lot of these pro-life organizations were just loving and empowering women like you can't argue with that but for their finances on our side.

You know that this is a life a human life and a heartbeat starts eating at around 20 day 22 days after conception of me that is a life with a beating heart. And so just looking at the client side and plus abortion is a trauma to women and you can talk to women that are Christians are women that are not correct. Christians and most of the time you would hear the same answer that they still have PTSD there are from their abortion decision, sometimes even physically. It has hurt them.

Maybe sometimes they can't have children in the future.

There's all kinds of ramifications and end abortion isn't healthcare me this is taking away a life healthcare is helping your life be better helping heal you now nine taking away a life and so no one grows up and think oh I would have abortion. When I when I get older you know this is something that no one wants to have so what can we do to help her in her decision not be able or not feel like she has to go and have a trauma you know inflicted on her by having an abortion. We know that adoption also employs into this wholesome area of marriage. What makes some people hesitant to choose adoption as an alternative to abortion how well there a lot of girls.

It's a mystery. The thing that they don't quite understand. Talk to girls about you know if there abortion minded and now they will. How about adoption.

Have you thought of that in there just like I feel like that's weird enough they will why and almost all the time. They just they can articulate it now.

I mean wife you just run into your kids someday like that just kinda weird and I thought about it I feel like years ago there was a lot of shame around adoption like if you think about it. If anyone you knew growing up like they were sent away you know to know they went to so-and-so's house for the summer, or whatever.

But really, they were sent away to a maternity home and there's a lot of secrecy around it and shame around that because he didn't want to talk about it. I feel like that's been passed down from generation to generation.

For now, the next generation is like weird you know I don't know what felt weird and still being able to really help show her what is it look like that are connected to another birth mom that it placed her baby for adoption that can talk about the good and the harm it is hard to place your baby like it hard to sacrifice your body for nine months to save the baby's life is one of the most amazing things in a woman can ever do. And so helping her get connected to other birth mom to ask questions interconnected to adoption agencies where she can ask questions that will advocate for her. There's a lot more opportunities out there where you can choose between open and closed, and it's a lot more work work work trying to be more open about this is a great organization called brave love who really is putting out there great birth mom story is if we can talk about it more, then it doesn't have all this weird secrecy and shame that may be generations ago. This issue had so were just trying to change their thinking about it and help them see that it actually is a viable option it but if the last option you know and it's always better to parent if she can, but if she's going to the abortion, then adoption is definitely better than this is going quickly know that our listeners can sense your passion about the subject. Know that many of our listeners also posted about and I do believe that will ensure today your Truman Bryce Bryce is going to help build positive steps in making things happen in their church and their community which you describe is already happening.

So thanks for the help her be brave and great title in the subtitle is Discover your place in the pro-life movement by Amy Ford and we have link that her website.

Five love line.com five love languages.com next week. Our summer best of series continues with the secret circuit in your brain that can help your relationships. Find out about Joyce which one. Well, a big thank you to our production team Steve Wick and Janice Todd.

Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman's radio in association with Moody publishers a ministry in a violent