Broken Relationships - 19

Today we come to a strategic but not very well understood text in second Corinthians chapter 6 verses 11, 12 and 13 which follows an outpouring of Paul's heart to the Corinthian Christians and serves as something of a bridge between the two major sections in this epistle and gives us insight into the heart of the apostle Paul helps explain why Paul vigorously defended his life and ministry. In this epistle furthermore gives insight into one of the major causes of broken relationships within our own lives and instructs us how to establish and maintain good relationships with others around us.

So today first or second Corinthians, rather six verses 11 through 13 message entitled, broken relationships in which we will see a common cause and cure for broken relationships within the body of Christ.

We shall see number one Paul's attitude. Verse 11 number to the Corinthians attitude verse 12, number three, the proper attitude.

Verse 13, Paul's attitude oh Corinthians. We have spoken openly to you our heart is wide open. Paul's attitude was intensely warm, openly communicative and affectionately loving. It was intensely warm.

Oh Corinthians, my Bible has an exclamation point is yours may as well. It obviously communicates strong strong feelings from the heart of the apostle Paul oh Corinthians. He says, and we study the epistles of Paul to realize that a personal reference.

The personal address of this nature in the body of an epistle, rather than at the opening is extremely rare.

In fact, there are only two others in all of his epistles.

Galatians chapter 3 in verse one we have such an address in their communicates strong emotional rebuke all foolish Galatians who has bewitched you that you should not obey the truth, before whose eyes Jesus Christ was clearly bored portrayed among you as crucified by the only other one and Philippians chapter 4 Paul is born it pouring out his warm thanks to them because of their personal fellowship with him and financial support of his ministry. The rights and Philippians 415.

Now you Philippians know also that in the beginning of the gospel. When I departed from Macedonia.

No church shared with me concerning giving and receiving. But you only so this personal address in the body have an epistle in the case of Galatians is a strong emotional rebuke in the case of Philippians is a strong emotional commendation inherent in second Corinthians. It is a strong emotional appeal. Oh Corinthians. We have spoken openly to you. Our heart is wide open.

So Paul's attitude was number one. Intensely warm and it was number two openly communicative.

We have spoken openly to you.

A more literal rendering of something like our mouth is open to you that is open to speak freely open to speak candidly when commentator loosely translated this my lips are unlocked to tell you everything about myself and indeed that's what Paul is saying because in the preceding verses, Paul has just communicated some very intimate details of his life and ministry going through those three lists each with nine elements. Paul is laying out before them very openly very clearly what his life was like both the joys and sorrows its trials and triumphs. It's good parts and bad parts and pauses ladled all on the table. He communicated that openly to them. He was open and honest about his life about the strong points of the weak points of his life.

The good parts and the bad parts of his life. He honestly shared his struggles and aspirations. That's what he had done to them.

He had openly communicated to them.

His heart we have spoken openly to you. But of course the problem was that they were not doing the same to him. As we shall see in a moment, thinking about what Paul says here make me revisit a familiar him and wonder what exactly John Newton was saying when he wrote in the him, behold the throne of grace, my soul asked what thou wilt not be too bold since his own blood for the was spilt. What else can he withhold beyond our utmost wants his love and power can bless the praying souls. He always grants more than they can express.

And then this since 'tis the Lord's command. Our mouth will open wide board open down by bounties and that we may be supplied. Our mouth will open wide.

I've always assumed that that phrase was speaking in terms of opening our vows to receive God's bounty.

There are at least one or two similar references of the Old Testament where it's a picture of a little bird in the nest of the mother comes to bring the food in that little bird opens its beak is, why does it possibly can. I do wonder how that teeny little bird can have such a big mouth and it opens its mouth wide to receive the food that the mother brings in always assumed that that's what Newton was saying here, since 'tis the Lord's command. Our mouth will open wide Lord, open thou thy bounty's hand that we may be supplied, but now it occurs to me that he may be talking about our expression to God in prayer. Since 'tis the Lord's command that we go to him in prayer.

Our mouth will open why we will we will lay our hearts bear in our speech before the Lord in our prayer because that's what Paul is talking about here will Corinthians we have spoken openly to you. Our mouth is open wide to you soon addition to being intensely warm and openly communicative. Paul thirdly was affectionately loving, for he goes on to say our heart is wide open. Not only is our mouth wide open a word speaking about his communication to them, but that open mouth indicates something else that's even more important, and that is our heart is wide open. Our heart is laid bare before you, our heart is open, that intimate details of my heart can be seen in known by you. My heart is wide open so that you can see what's in my heart and my heart is wide open to take you into my heart and warm affection, and brotherly love.

My heart is wide open with generous feelings toward you.

This is Paul's attitude toward the Corinthians. Thus we learn the gracious open intimate communication is a significant mark of love that we don't normally think of that I don't think I asked you my email.

By the way, if you're not in our in the no email list would be happy to include you and I generally send out an email on Saturday night to cause you to begin thinking about the text for Sunday and I asked you in my email yesterday if I would ask you to list some of the mark. Some of the indications of love. What would you list and would you include the one that Paul includes in our text today because Paul is telling us that gracious open intimate communication is a sick finca not an incidental not a trivial but a significant indication of love and it's true hearts that are wide open. Create risks hearts that are open before others have the risk of rejection by others and therefore the hurt that goes with that rejection by others. In fact, that's a bit of what Paul is dealing with. In our text for today but Paul is telling us that Christian love accepts the risks Paul's open communication of his life and thoughts and aspirations and hopes and trials is an evidence of Paul's love for them and no matter how some of them had mistreated him and indeed they had. He still love them and he demonstrated that by the way that he communicated to them. How could they possibly question his fervent love for them when he is demonstrating it in such an important such an insignificant way is to open his mouth to share these details with them, which is an indication of his open heart before them. That's Paul's attitude. What is the Corinthians attitude verse 12, you're not restricted by us, but you are restricted by your own affections.

Their attitude toward Paul was very different from Paul's attitude toward them. Their attitude is characterized as cold and indifferent is unresponsive to Paul's love is hindered by misguided affections, their attitude is cold and indifferent, which is indicated by the contrast Paul's mouth is open, Paul's heart is wide open to them and what is theirs. Theirs is restricted. He assumes that they already know that he doesn't have to tell them just simply says you are not restricted by us. You are restricted by your own affections. You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted by something that word restricted means narrow, they are confined in their relationship to him. There is a lack of room in their hearts for him.

Paul is not restricted toward them no narrowness in his heart. No restriction in his attitude toward them in his warm embrace of them. No tightness of room in his heart for them. His heart is open wide toward them but there's is just the opposite. Their hearts are narrow and confined and seem to have little room for the apostle Paul.

They have a very low level of love for Paul, which is the exact opposite of Paul's great warm heart of fervent affection for them. Their attitude unlike his is cold and indifferent toward him, their attitude to secondly unresponsive to Paul's love you are not restricted by us. The cause of the narrowness in their heart was not Paul that was not the cause of their narrowest narrowness that is not the reason why their hearts were restricted, that was not the reason why there was little room in their hearts for them. Whatever was the cause and he'll tell them at a moment whether real or imagined, makes it very clear. The cause is not with me. Now the truth of the matter is they probably all thought that it was if they had were aware of the narrowness of their hearts toward Paul certainly making them aware of it now, but if they were made aware of that and were asked for the reason no doubt no doubt they would've said it's because you this you that you the other. They were started pointing to the apostle Paul for the reasons and justifications of this poor relationship which they had toward him. This we could say broken relationship which they had with him. This narrowness of affection and of warm Christian relationships which they had with the apostle Paul and if you asked them why they would say it's because of what Paul did.

And Paul says let's correct that notion right now. Whatever you think it is. It's not because of me. My mouth is wide open to communicate freely with you. That's a demonstration of my love, my heart is wide open toward you and warm affection which you are not returning. So their attitude is cold and indifferent of their attitude is unresponsive to Paul's love, and their attitude is hindered by misguided affection. You are restricted, he says, by your own affections. They probably would say the problem is with Paul. Paul says no, the problem is with you. You need to understand that heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked who can know it. It's hard for us to know our own hearts many times and so often we think we see the reason the fault the blade in the cause and others when in truth more often than not the cause or lease the main causes found within ourselves rather than with others. You are restricted by your own affections by your own feelings by the condition of your own heart, which is not what it ought to be the question that arises in my heart, my mind is what prompted these wrong affections. We might even call it wrong attitudes that are found in their hearts toward the apostle Paul and I would say they are caused by at least three things number one by implanted doubts and suspicions number two by a troubled conscience and number three by incorrect judgments.

Part of the problem was that the false teachers were busy implanting misinformation suspicions doubts in the minds of everyone who would listen to them regard to the person and work of the apostle Paul.

They were forced tried to undermine his ministry there trying to pull people away from his influence and bring them under their own they were trying to cause people to doubt his teaching so that they would be more open to accept their teaching which was contrary to the truth and contrary to that which was taught by the apostle Paul so because there are false teachers who are busily working to undermine Paul's ministry.

They have successfully planted various doubts about Paul in the minds of the Corinthians release some of them various suspicions about Paul and the minds of these believers. These false teachers who are referenced throughout both first and second Corinthians we know they were there in the city of Corinth working diligently to undermine Paul's ministry and that explains in great part why Paul was so adamant in defending his life and ministry wasn't a matter of pride on his part was a matter of the damage that was being done in the lives of the Christians when they were misled by falsity should trying to get them to understand the quality of his ministry is trying to get them to understand the sincerity of his ministry.

The fact that he was willing to suffer. To the extent that he did in order to serve the Lord Jesus Christ in itself was great evidence that he was not self-serving.

He was not doing this for his own glory for his own wealth for anything that pertain to himself. He was actually spending himself and literally being wasted away in his service for the Lord Jesus Christ. Surely they could see that. But because people are easily misled. He reminds them of that and had just done so again in this chapter. In the opening verses, but these implanted doubts and suspicions by false teachers had caused some in the church of Corinth to doubt Paul to suspect Paul's motives to question whether Paul was teaching them sound doctrine to question whether Paul should be believed and followed and loved and respected Paul says that the problem in our relationship which is not what it ought to be problem or relationship is not found on my part. It's found in your part on your part. It's in your heart so your affections, some of which have been poisoned by the gossip, the slander by the undermining of these false teachers. Second thing which no doubt impacted the attitude and some had toward Paul was a troubled conscience. In other words, Paul brought truth that they didn't like and they didn't respond to it. They didn't obey it. They didn't believe it and obey it applied to their lives. They rejected it. They rejected the messenger who brought it. And yet there hearts if they are believers are troubled because things are right between them and God in between the truth which God has delivered and so they've got this this troubled relationship not only with God. But with the messenger. The bride has brought them the truth of God is a lot of correction in the Corinthian epistles particular, the first one but also to some degree. The second one were Paul and love in any canned or business affection can door the Paul had toward the they Corinthians was not entirely positive. It was also what we might call negative in the sense that he was saying this is going on the needs to stop. This is what you believe and it's wrong and this is what you are doing and you need to correct it. We've all heard the saying if you don't like the message please don't shoot the messenger, but that's what we normally tend to do. Don't wait. If we don't like what somebody is saying to us, we tend to try to distance ourselves from the one who brought that message tried to to erect barriers between ourselves and the one who brought us that message we try to denigrate the one who brought us the message the troubled conscience, no doubt cause the hearts of many of the Corinthians to be cold and indifferent in some cases even hostile toward the apostle Paul. The third reason is incorrect. Judgments member part of that list. At last listed Paul gave us earlier in verse eight when he was describing what his life was like as an apostle of Christ, and he said by honor and dishonor by evil report and good report as deceivers in your truth.

He was telling us that there were some who honored him and some who dishonored them for the same thing same person same message same man same actions, but some looked at those actions and saw honorable actions in others looked at them and saw dishonorable once he received from different quarters. At the same time both good reports and evil reports. Some people who valued the truth which he proclaimed gave a good report to others about his ministry and others who didn't like what he was saying gave an evil report to others about his ministry as deceivers and yet true.

Some recognize that what he was saying was the truth. Others who didn't like what he said tried to deflect the truth of what he said by insinuating that he was a deceiver.

He was not reliable in all of these wrong attitudes toward Paul do not always come from unbelievers. They sometimes come from believers again who are deceived by our adversary and misled by the slander of others and who are not making proper judgments there making subjective judgments based upon feelings which have been poisoned by various things and so there you go. That's what was happening in the case of the apostle Paul. Incorrect judgments because the judgments that we make in the judgments they make were not always formed properly. Remember what Jesus said in John 724. Do not judge according to appearance the judge with righteous judgment. The judge according to appearance that is things external, but look beyond that to things which are internal say how can you do that by the help of the Spirit of God by the enlightenment of the word of God will judge by the first impression that comes your way appearances, but rather weigh your judgments carefully to be sure that they are founded upon the truth of God's word. People who falsely believe that Christians are to make judgments of never read this verse one of the best-known verses in the Bible by by the world. The world does quote the Bible because the devil does quote the Bible. As you know the world likes that text in the sermon on the mount where Jesus said judge not that you do not judge the ticket out of context and insinuated that saying that you should never judge anybody should make any judgments. No, that's not what Jesus is saying he saying don't make wrong judgments don't make carnal judgments don't make judgments that are not based upon truth, but not only may we make judgments when they're right. We are commanded to Judge not according to appearance, but judge imperative judge righteous judgments. The Corinthians were not always making righteous judgments there incorrect judgments where they were quick to form and express opinions about the apostle Paul, which were not true and were slow to evaluate their opinions. According to the revealed truth of God's word had caused many of them to become cold and indifferent toward the apostle Paul. Paul tells them in verse 13 what their attitude should be the proper attitude now in return for the same. I speak as to children. You also be open now in return for the saying their attitude ought to be warmer reception Apollo sink down return for the same.

That is, in return for the warm open loving reception that I give to you now return to the same attitude that I have toward you as described in verse 11 we have spoken openly to you. Our heart is wide open now in return for the same now in recompense now for recompense inclined is one way to translate that Greek phrase work in exchange in an exchange rather that is exact is another way to translate it in return for Paul's love to them, and beyond that in return for Paul's faithful ministry to them. There response to him should be ought to be and surely would be when they recognize their wrong and corrected it. There response ought to be warm, open hearted affection toward him. Yes, the proper attitude is warmer reception the proper attitude is spiritual recognition because Paul goes on to say in verse 13. I speak as to children, which sounds like Paul is saying you're acting like a bunch of little children, but that's not what he saying, though he did say that about them.

Another place that's not what he saying here he saying I speak to you as to my children. My children Paul spiritual children. Some take this to mean that they were his converts and indeed clearly many of them were they were his spiritual children in the sense that they heard the gospel from him and came to faith in Christ. The message 20 which he delivered but is also clear that not all in the church at Corinth had come to Christ through the ministry of the apostle Paul that Paul said this back in first Corinthians 35 who then is Paul and who was Apollo's but ministers through whom you believed Paul and the powerless ministers, through whom you believe is the Lord gave to each one, and in another place he includes Peter Cephus and that number and in another place, and indicates that there are yet other teachers that were used of God to bring them to Christ. So, clearly, not all of the Corinthian church members were spiritual children in the sense that Paul had led them to Christ were that they had believed the gospel and listening to sermons by Christ. So what is Paul talking about when he says I speak to you as to my children like come to the conclusion that he's talking about the fact that he is the father of the church talks in that language. On more than one occasion said in first Corinthians 310 according to the grace of God which was given to me as a wise master builder I have laid the foundation, and another builds on it. But let each one take heed how he builds on though there were a number who preach the gospel to them and there were number of the Godhead used to be there spiritual fathers, as it were, to bring them to faith in Christ.

A number of them, through whom they had believed there was only one God used as the church planter is the one who laid the foundation, others built upon it. But God used one man to lay the foundation for this church. Paul, the church planter. That's why he writes in first Corinthians 414 I do not write these things to shame you, but as my beloved children. There it is again.

I warn you, for though you might have 10,000 instructors in Christ bit of sanctified exaggeration.

Make a point though you might have many many instructors in Christ. Many teachers, many preachers, though you might have 10,000 instructors in Christ you do not have many fathers for Jesus Christ. I begotten you through the gospel again.that they had all been saved through his ministry, but all of them were members of the church, which owed its origin to Paul, the missionary church planter.

He was the father of the church in that sense, every member of that church was a spiritual child to pull.

So Paul is talking about a spiritual relationship and he wants them to own that relationship should be recognition of the spiritual relationship. They were part Paul spiritual children as members of this church and the wider application to us is a little bit different but is just as compelling because all of us who are saved are members of the same family, and we have brothers and sisters in Christ, we are commanded to love Vasquez. He saying I have a claim upon your affection as the one who founded your church.

You wouldn't even have a church in God and use me to founded you should recognize that special relationship, but indeed every believer in Christ has a special God-given relationship with other believers in Christ that lays a claim upon us as well to the words of John in first John 421 and this commandment we have from him that he who loves God must love his brother also. I could multiply many fold versus the tell us that we are to love the brethren. But that's one of the clearest and strongest. It is a command. It's not an option if you claim to love God you must, you are obligated to love the brethren brothers and sisters in Christ.

There is this relationship just like Paul had a special relationship with Corinth. We all have a special relationship with other members of the body. These are relationships that lay claim upon our behavior. Paul is saying my relationship to you in Corinth lays a claim upon your attitude and actions and behavior toward me. Christ tells us that our relationship in the body of Christ because of the great love that God has poured out upon us the great grace that God has given to us chosen as his children lay some obligations upon us in one of those obligations is that we are expected, we are commanded to love others in the body.

Equally chosen by God. So this calls for appropriate action. Be you also open. He says in verse 13.

Now, in return for the same. I speak is to children you also be open open your hearts to me as I have.

Do you children ought to return the love of a loving father to them, show yourselves to be my children by your affection to me the love of children is a natural response to paternal love, the love a spiritual children is a natural response to this kind of spiritual fatherhood, but to do this of course will have to command ourselves to do it we will have to act over and above our feelings. It's clear their feelings were particularly warm toward him and Paul doesn't say no once you get your feelings straightened out.

Then you can affect the right way. He says no act properly now. Do it now. In other words, it's your responsibility to deal with all hindering considerations that might come between you and one that you have a responsibility love in Christ, it's your responsibility to reject all false insinuations from others that may have created a barrier between you and one that you are commanded to love in Christ, it's your responsibility to break relationships with error so that you might be listening to truth and not air that takes us into the following section B not unequally yoked together with unbelievers can execute. It's because of your ungodly relationship to false teachers that some of you have this problem now act properly break off those relationships and give yourself totally and completely to proper relationships based upon truth judge righteous judgments, not judgments. According to appearance, do what you know to be right. Another lie lessens a grout of this, let me see how many I can cover quickly because there are implications. There are practical aspects of this that could help all of us so much. Obviously, the first application has to do with the relationships of the body of Christ we are expected to cultivate warm relationships within the body. Nothing could be more clear from this text that requires personal communication with other believers. That's a big big big part of it. In some cases, that requires initiation on our part.

We need to reach out to others not wait for them to tackle us some of us are going to have to move outside our comfort zone that had people through the years. Come to me and said I just have trouble making friends. I don't know why I don't have any friends can't seem to make any friends in the church will who are you cultivating friendship with will. Nobody who have you invited over to your house for cup of coffee that piece of cake will know what who have have you suggested you go out have lunch together something like this will know what who have you taken a cake to their homeland and in their time of sickness and and show your love to them will know what and you start going to these things and they're just sitting around waiting for someone to tackle them and be their friend.

It doesn't work that way.

But above everything else. But this requires is your personal presence and investment of time in the body of Christ. Number one, you need to be present. This is part of why we forsake not the assembling of ourselves together when you say that almost most people almost automatically assume you're talking about. You need to be there to hear the sermon what you do. But that's only a little part of it.

Yeah, I know you need to be there to hear the sermon like and I can hear it on Lifestream yeah but you can't cultivate personal relationships of the body of Christ on Lifestream gotta be there when sickness makes it impossible for you to be present than it's wonderful to have Lifestream so you still have that much of a connection, but you can't sit at home, week after week, month after month watching on Lifestream and do what Paul is requiring you to do here. Gotta be present you got invest time, you can't listen to me now. You can't when it comes to church, you can't just ducky in at the last minute duck out as quickly as you as you can. I know it's stop preaching on the middle of but I think this is preaching exactly what this is saying don't make me your anatomy because I tell you the truth like some of these may polish their enemy because he told the truth. This is the truth church is more than just coming and being in the service church is developing relationships with people there which requires your being here before and after the service and spending some time in cultivating relationships with people. It requires communication. But this also has some very practical ramifications for family relationships, starting with marriage marriage like relationships in the body of Christ requires regular open communication for some of you. That'll require you breaking out of your comfort zone is not always demand that it often is that of the strong silent type.

The women want to talk and the men don't get over it.

Get over it. If that's you, Mr. or if that's you Mrs. get over it.

One of the most significant evidences of love is this, open, honest, candid communication, you need that and to accomplish that you're going to need some regularly scheduled times just like it's very difficult to cultivate relationships in the body of Christ.

If you're not coming to the scheduled meetings of the church. So it's very difficult to cultivate good communication relationships within a marriage. If you don't have any scheduled times to do that one of the most helpful ones is to have a time of family devotions every day say my kids are grown. Let's even in some respects better because now it's just you and her. And what a wonderful opportunity to do what I'm talking about have that time every day when you read the word and pray together. But, of course, to pray together means you need to discuss your needs and problems and burdens together. Your prayer requests and that leads into talking about what's going on in your life what's what's happening during the day your schedules in and talks about your needs and hopes and aspirations and that sounds like what Paul was doing here to the Corinthians. Yes it does. And that's exactly what you need to have a good marriage relationship that would address so many marriage problems and and likewise I must touch on it lightly building a relationship with your children.

It's the same thing requires regular age appropriate communication.

I'm not suggesting that you treat young children, like adults. That's a terrible mistake. I see that commonly occurring in today's world. Four-year-old Susie now Susie don't you understand why you shouldn't be hitting Johnny.

Let me explain it to you again. Listen, I can explain it to you in about five seconds time and if you do it again. I am bound and get the age-appropriate age-appropriate communication.

You can't treat small children, like adults, you're an idiot if you try that's not what I'm suggesting but as they grow older as they grow into their teens, middle teens and preteens.

You need to start more and more treating them like adults communicating with and talking to them developing relationships with them, which requires regular communication, you need to have times to do that, similar to marriage.

But this also broadens out wider into all kinds of human relationships, even outside the body of Christ, you need to learn how to cultivate open communication on your job in other places you need to be able to talk to others about problems.

I didn't say talk about others about problems. I said talk to others about probe need to learn to listen and try to understand their perspective and finally there's an application here for our relationship with God.

The problem with the Corinthians relationship with Paul was not with Paul.

It was with them, but they didn't understand that the problem of our relationship with God is not with God, it is with us. We don't always understand that it's a Tennessee the human heart. The sinful human heart to find fault with God. Problem was with God, he said this and I don't agree with that. He does this. I don't think you should do that. Find all kinds of reasons why the problem was with God, no, no, no, please understand God is never wrong. God is holy God cannot do anything that is wrong.

If it seems wrong to you, then the problem is with your thinking. You need a recalibration of the problem isn't with God.

The problem is with you within your own heart. It's your own affections. And so you need to be honest with your own sins, and why it is that you have a problem in your relationship God. You need to listen to God's word for the purpose of understanding God and understanding yourself, not for the purpose of finding fault and criticizing you need to talk to God in prayer communicating with him, even as you examine your own heart before him and confess your sins unto him, and seek to have a right relationship with him through the Lord Jesus Christ, broken relationships, yes they're all around us. They they are one of the biggest trials of life broken relationships in homes broken relationships in churches, broken relationships on jobs and worst and most significant of all broken relationships with God Almighty. But this text is very helpful in pointing us in the right direction, shall we pray. Father, help us to understand the truth that you have given to benefit from the light which you have shown in darkness.

Help us to come to the light, that we may have life. As we ask in Jesus name, amen