How to Get People to Change [Part 1]

Pastor author and Bible teacher Alan Wright only three people own things slaves don't own things slaves don't think like a heirs and it people see themselves as owners don't ever really to their full potential.

That's pastor excited for you to hear the teaching today.

In the series for yourself yourself. Fire program I want to make sure you know how to get our special resource right now could be yours for your donation this month to Helen Wright ministries as you listen to today's message go deeper as we send you today's special offer. Contact us at pastoralan.org or call 877-544-4860 that's 877-544-4860. More on that later in the program. Now let's get started with today's teaching here Alan Wright title of the message that corresponds to the title in that chapter in the book for yourself yourself is how to get people to change and I know that title. I do say upfront that bothers a lot of people because half of the point that were trying to make is you can't get people to change. You know you are not responsible for other people said this is kind of meant there to pique your curiosity and it is to ask the question for for us thereby that's joining us by video for their small groups are just for personal growth.

Okay, if you been with us and learning about shame, learning about the fact that is a lie. This is, I don't measure up.

I have to measure up and and and I not to make myself acceptable and how contrary, the gospel is to that the gospel such good news that says that know God's love goes first and he accepts eyes and out of that radical acceptance in Christ we are empowered to change but it leaves us with the question okay if I would make a decision as apparent as a spouse as a friend or coworker or teacher or coach. Whatever position you might be in that.

I'm not ashamed people in order to try make them better. How am I going to help them to change. Well it went.

It went viral, here recently on the Internet.

Unfortunately, it's amazing how these things wind up catching also quick but it was a preacher that was on his video and the video had him in the middle of his sermon where he was preaching and all of a sudden all you see is the preacher's stop preaching and he said not know know I'm too important for you to fall asleep during my sermon and he stops and he walks down out of the platform and goes up to the guy who'd been sleeping and goes over there and and and shames him right there in front of everybody for for sleeping in church and then he turned start railing against people as young company said that you guys are where you been seen you in too long and I see on my calendar. I'm supposed to officiate your wedding, is that I'll not be appreciate your way here the sorriest church member. I got you not were 15 set in any point, up to the sound you kids out there in the sound booth is in the time for you guys be up there how to party.

As I start railing on the truck picking out people by name, video, and I wonder who posted that on YouTube but anyway it went viral. The time I'd seen it hundreds of thousands and already seen it.

By the way, I just want to say to anybody that would be in my congregation or anybody watching by video that if you do fall asleep counterpart of my ministry to have given you some nice rest and, in fact, it reminds me of the man who said you know, if you take all the people that sleep in church and you just laid amended in the a lot more comfortable. I bring up that story to say, not just to say how is it possible that a preacher could be that far from understanding the gospel to think that he's been throughout shame people and humiliate them. And that's the way but here's the question. Was it wrong for that preacher to want his people to be awake know. Was it wrong for him to want that young couple that was a church to have been more faithful in coming and into the body of Christ where they could learn and grow, know was wrong and maybe wanting the young people that I don't know if they've been messing up with the sound is to build Excel and what they're doing an end and put their work is is a high priority with honor it once was, be honest, it was wrong of him to want people to change what was wrong with how he did it. She always told people have told people of told people in premarital counseling over the years I've said it.

Other people listen. Don't try to get her to change. You know you're getting married or you might as well accept the fact that you can't change anybody and so you need to accept them. So don't go into wanting them to change really have said that because it sounds spiritual in all but it's just not true. We do want people that we love to change. I mean, let's be honest about it. I mean that there are there are things in my kids. I like to see them changed. In other words, when you grow you change so if you want somebody to grow and they're going to change that Jesus came in his ministry hand around him saying, repent for the kingdom of God is at hand. And what is the word repent mean it comes into words change in mind, change your way of thinking. In other words, Jesus said, I want you to change you have fought the kingdom of God was off in the distance, but I'm saying it is now at hand is, and you have thought that God was simply a distant judge, but I have come to show you that God is love. I want you to change your way of thinking. I want you to have more faith like for you to understand the mysteries of the gospel that are invaded, unveiled in Jesus Christ. The reason I preach the gospel.

The reason I write. The reason that we are developing these videos is because would like to see people building grow and to grow means to change. I finally just accepted the fact there's nothing wrong with wanting people to change the reason that we feel like it so bad is because people try to get people to change by using shame. They try to get people to change in all of the wrong ways, but it's okay for a teacher to wanted students to learn is okay for a coach to want a student athlete to be better trained it's okay for a leader to want people to gain new vision. Moses one of the Hebrew people to change. He wanted them to to become obedient to the law. Joshua one of the people to change for them to have courage, Paul wanted his congregations to change. He said be transformed by the renewing of your mind. We don't care wanting people to change.

We air will use a nonbiblical strategy to help people change so let's get kinda practical.

If you'd like to help people grow and therefore change but you don't want you shame you don't want to withhold love and acceptance as a motivational force. How can you help people grow and change. People asked me that all the time. Okay, I repent. I don't want to shame my kids anymore, but how do I help them. This is where the rubber starts mean the road. I spent time just meditating, praying through the Scriptures are there some biblical ways that God has given to us to help facilitate real change in others and I came up with three.

Maybe there's some other other main categories that I've missed, but I don't know what they are. I think of three and and these three ways of helping people to grow. I would say are God's ways. The way that God helps us to grow the very same ways we can help others to grow in.

The first is this just so good. See, here's the basic principle. Paul says in Romans 12 verse 21 do not overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Everything, everything in this world is built upon the principle of sowing and reaping and sowing and reaping teachers is essentially that this is the design of God for the universe.

Everything reproduces after its own kind you put an orange seed into the ground. Get the right conditions. What will grow is an orange tree and what it will produce oranges and orange seed will never in this world produce apples. So if you were to plant and orange seed somehow hoping that you're gonna wind up getting an apple out of it would be the utmost folly, because you can't, there's no way in the same way in the spirit.

What we so is what we can expect to reap so if there is someone in your life.

Let's start with our kids and you would like to see your kids be more patient because they're inpatient and they're always there always talking about how they wanted want now and they're inpatient acute way on this.

Can't wait on that the temptation is what to be just impatient with them to be impatient about their inpatients to associates inpatients into some child's heart that is already full of impatience is going to only produce a bigger harvest of impatience talent right will have more teaching moment from today's important series accepted perfectly free to be yourself with no fear of injection rolled her eyes. Last no more anxious feeling that you feel like the pressure is always on right here in my longing for life with no paradise before sin came into the world's relationship since the fall of the human heart has been riddled racing around camp into the temple condescend out tiny perfect in order to meet my lover. Now roll the heart is pleasing shame and there's only grace of God in Jesus Christ only claimed look for yourself yourself exposes the house of soul. He leads you into a revolution of God's love that heals your cell discover freedom joy as you show performance-based living. Shame and fear for good life-changing full-length book from Alan Wright for yourself. Gospel is shared when you get Alan Wright Ministries.

This broadcast is only possible because of listener financial support.

When you get today.

We will send you a special offer. We are happy to send this to you as I banks from Alan Wright Ministries, seven 877-544-4860 877-544-4861 come to our website past hour and work days teaching. Now you once again is biblically what Paul is saying is don't be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. So the spirit you want to see cultivated in the one that you love whatever it is you want to see developed in the other is the very thing you should so so often times what I try to do is just stop myself because I feel my flesh want to just respond if somebody sows unkindness towards you because a lot of sowing and reaping that sowing of unkindness towards you is trying to place a demand on you of a harvest of unkindness. That's what you wonder why do I feel so much like going to be unkind to them because they were unkind to me is because of the principal sowing and reaping the very judgment they brought against you is closing there to be with in you a demand in the natural, to cause you to judge them back, but we are not under these natural commands of of of of the spirit we are under a higher order of grace we been set free so we have the potential by the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. The site was being sewn towards me of unkindness. But what I have in me is the Holy Spirit and the fruit of the Spirit is love and joy and peace in patients unkindness and allow the spirit of kindness to be so it go. If contrary to everything the flesh wants to do what we tend to want to do is just just look at somebody that's frustrating to us and they're not doing what we want to do in our tendency is to just treat them by sowing seeds that are just as negative as what they're demonstrating but it never makes sense to expect and orange seed to produce an apple. Whatever you want to see developed in the other is what you can so towards them, sowing and reaping, and it all starts in Genesis chapter 1 it goes all the way through everything Paul teaches.

It goes all the way through the Bible everything operates according to this principle that all things reproduce after their own kind.

I think that something very practical. You can do.

I think you can stop when you get a difficult situation in a relationship of any type you say what should I do here. How can I actually help them get a vision of the harvest you want to see what change would you like to see. So the seed that can produce a harvest. That's number one. The second thing that I've discovered biblically that I think we can do is to treat people like errors, not slaves. To me this is one of the most fascinating themes in the entire Bible you ever notice that when the people of God were set free through the Passover is not familiar with the story. It's the story where the blood of an innocent lamb was split over the doorpost of the Hebrew homes while they were slaves in Egypt and wherever there was blood over the door, the destroyer passed over those homes and yet it's killed all the firstborn of the Egyptians were there was no blood over the door and through this Pharaoh let the people go, so they were set free by the blood of the Lamb is a great story. The Passover story will as soon as they are set free. There's an odd thing, we will turn there now to look it up sometime is a odd thing you see. And that is the board hold the Hebrew people to plunder the Egyptians on the way out of Egypt is not in others. He said tell him to give them that you're there gold or silver jewelry stuff their valuables is odd about this is in part to provide for the people of God as they went on their way, but I think there's something else going on. I think that God wanted the people to begin to learn early on, you been slaves.

Now you're free, but I want to learn something other than the fact that you're free. I want you learn this you own something. So what was the whole narrative about it was about the movement to a promised land that God wasn't just saying I will set you free from slavery. He was saying. I want to give you a territory I want you to rein in that territory which have dominion in that territory want to rule in that territory you have an inherited you have a promised land. So the gospel is not just the announcement that you are saved from your sin and you get to go to heaven one day the gospel is an announcement that you are safe from your sin by the blood of the lamb. But you are safe so that you would know that you are an air to air of these incredible spiritual riches with which you've been blessed in Christ Jesus. God wanted his people in the Old Testament understand themselves not only that they were free people, but that they were responsible people. They were errors, they they are they are they are recipients of of of a great gift with great potential and they have a destiny one day we were I was.

I was out of the office on Saturday afternoon. Years ago and I just was out doing will work, but Mickey Thigpen, our Executive Director was up on a Saturday afternoon and he was in office and he was doing some of those many years ago and in and he was doing something some task honestly doesn't make you so quiet you up in all Saturday afternoon doing that task. He said well you know, such as such didn't get it done this week cycle.

Why didn't so-and-so do that as part of as part of her job you know and he said I don't know I guess it's just a matter of ownership.

I was saying was, you know I said I got ownership over this is no I'm not gonna rest until this is no I'm responsible for this and take ownership of this and he said I need to do it, someone else said about a particular employee at that time just is just no looked on it more like just a job. You come to Newton you go away from your market and then they Mickey said I'm trying to convince her that she's not a slave and I was thinking about the idea ownership and slavery and who was actually taking ownership heard the Holy Spirit say to me were staying in their off the herd always. Say only free people own things slaves own thing. Slaves don't think like air and until people see themselves as owner, though never really work to their full potential in making I start talking about this guy had a glory fit right there in office you is revelations is like seeing something I've never seen before. And here again in the same way that if someone is acting with unkindness toward you.

You're tempted to sow a seed of unkindness in a similar way when someone is acting like they won't take ownership of anything we tend to turn around and treat them even more like a slave. Alan Wright today's teaching how to get people to change from the series. Free yourself yourself would get a parting good news thought with Esther Allen coming up here in just a moment to be accepted perfectly free to be yourself with no fear for Jackson rolled her eyes in front of you.

I love you last no more anxious feeling that you feel like the pressure is always on your life with no show paradise before sin came into the world's relationship notion since the fall has been riddled with shame you can't beat some condescending small tiny perfect in order to meet since I'm not a measure at them as well. Right now the road ahead is pleasing shame and there is only the grace of God in Jesus Christ. We cleaned look for yourself yourself exposes the lies he leads you into a revolution of God's love that heals your cell discovered freedom joy as you shall performance-based living shame a few from good life-changing full-length book from Alan Wright for yourself.

The gospel is shared when you get Alan Wright Ministries.

This broadcast is only possible because of listener financial support. When you get today. We will send you a special offer.

We are happy to send this to you as I thanks from Alan Wright Ministries, seven 877-544-4860 877-544-4861 come to our website past Rowan.org now with Esther Allen in the studio and I love this message. I love the title. It always gets my attention because you know how to talk to me okay I need a step-by-step plan on how to get people to check each.

There's a twist to this well it's a provocative title because of course we can't change people, but it's a myth to think we can't help them grow and change. Of course we can. God wants us to change wants us to grow in all growth means change and so God can use us to help others.

But the way to help them is not my shaming and so today and will continue to more Daniel to give biblical ways of helping others to grow and change and I just would say is we close the you think of that person in your own life who really needs to get a better understanding of who they are, so they can change tomorrow were going to talk about the power of blessing and its jot God's wonderful secret of helping others flourish. You can speak life and empower the people you love, guilt and shame are two words that the typically in the Christian world go hand-in-hand together, but there is a distinction between the two right well will learn a lot about your guilt is a real thing right but commit a crime guilty and I have guilt so were all guilty.

We all we all have sin, we all fall short of the glory of God.

To say shame off you is not to soften up on sin was not what it means is not to say that grace means that you get salt on sin either as statuses was the solution. All this and what we're distinguishing between is what some have called true guilt and and fault guilt but shame is something that's not just the same thing as false guilt and is not even the same thing exactly his condemnation.

What will you learn is that shame really is a system of thought. It is a whole stronghold, the house of thoughts a way of looking at life way of looking at your own life is subtle at times and you don't realize it. And then there are others who've been through the deepest and darkest types of trauma, for whom it is a poison that's been taken in very deeply is very toxic, but the conviction of sin is will discover is a good thing.

That's a gift from God is good to know how we can go a better way is good to know how the grace of God can lead us into a better way of living. So that's the grace of God conviction. This is not something to be ever shy about is something we should run to this good is from God. Shame the shame that I describe in this series they know something we say at its toxic. Today's message supported production Alan Wright