How to Divorce-Proof Your Marriage: Reinforcing Relationships

You are listening to a new beginning with Greg Laurie, a podcast made possible by harvest partners, helping people everywhere know God. Visit our website and learn more about harvest partners@harvest.org those horses. I see we board today. Pastor Greg Moreno helps us reinforce our marriage and warning about every effort should be made to restore marriage measures because morality is not only grounds are the board also grounds for forgiveness. Why is God. Adultery is when a husband and wife stand and make commitment to others also making God and the Lord takes Arvo promise very seriously today on a new beginning.

Pastor Greg Laurie is doing so adultery unravels the very fabric of American doesn't have to be the end of the marriage into God's work today – the greatest popular series title of my message is how to divorce prove your merits some years ago we had one of our famous wildfires. Southern California and a lot of homes were burned in a very nice upscale neighborhood all these homes were devastated just all these foundations are reduced to charred rubble and in the midst of this truck of beautiful homes stood all home are wrapped almost in perfect condition. A little bit of smoke damage in the midst of all of these devastated burned down holes and so the press went up the what what on earth happened here in the interview this man and they said, why did your house not burn down his answer was, well, and I found this article about baby. He says we went beyond that which was required made it even safer. Wanting to do particular yet double P Windows extra thick stucco walls sealed the concrete tile roof and abundant insulation.

So when the firefighters came. They said that's over going to make our stand working to defend this house and it did stand. I would ask everybody listening to this message right now right at this moment to make a stand for their merit and say I'm to do everything I can to secure this marriage to keep it strong to keep it vibrant to go the extra mile not to give some token effort to go the extra mile to keep my marriage thriving and saddling every one of us listening to this message knows at least one couple if not more that have had their marriage devastated by adultery.

Think of how many marriages would still be together today. If this one sin was not committed just if America alone stop committing this sin for a year which changed the face of our nation.

How many families would still be together. How many people would still be loving each other and then this is gets passed on from generation to generation. And when you commit this said it's going to catch up with you. This is what people think about. I would be the exception and I'm in a get away with it now never be caught not true.

You will be caught. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not five years from today, but ultimately the Bible says your sin will find you out. It's going to catch up with you eventually why is it such a bad thing to go down this road will number one you do incredible damage to yourself, you damage your self. The Bible even says that when you enter into a sexual union with a prostitute.

You effectively become one flesh with her so when you say was a one night stand, and it didn't mean anything. Actually, it means a lot. Also, you do incredible damage to your spouse, you damage that oneness you damage that bonded a devastating sin. Thirdly, you do incredible damage to your children to find out.

Maybe their young and they don't know at first but later though.

Get it figured out, someone will tell him and so often the sins of parents are repeated by children. The Bible speaks of the sins of the parents being visited on the children. I found a description of some mystical generational curse.

Rather what that is saying is, your kids will end up doing what you do and we see this happening in the life of King David. Remember he fell into adultery with Bathsheba and his own children repeated his behavior.

David son M then raped his half-sister team are Absalom murdered and as the prophet Nathan said to David, the sword will never depart from your house.

There's another thing when you commit the sin of adultery. You do great damage to the church. The Scripture says when one member suffers a whole body suffers were all interconnected as believers when one of us is exalted were all exalted when one of us calls we all are affected by it, and a lot of times we will think about this, but there's your testimony to a lost world. You told him all about your faith in Christ and how much you love your spouse and then you go and commit this and lastly you do great damage to the cause of Christ. After David fell into sin with Bathsheba, the prophet Nathan said because you've done that you give a great opportunity for nonbelievers blasting.

Let's not give nonbelievers more ammo to use against us. And of course the worst thing of all is you sin against the Lord himself. Okay so that brings us to our text Matthew 19 and this is the most serious threat against the marriage today and that is divorce. Matthew 19 starting in verse seven they said to Jesus, why did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce and to put her away. He said of the Moses because of the hardness of your hearts permitted you notice a work permit. They use the word command uses the word permit he permitted you to divorce your wife from the beginning it was not so when I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery, and whoever marries her who is the Boers commits adultery. There note again that they said commended. Why did Moses command us to get a divorce and Jesus is skews me. You never commanded. He permitted because of the hardness of the callousness of your heart is he to protect the woman from the hardship of endeavoring to carry on in a home where she was unloved and unwanted because the men didn't understand the high ideal of marriage clause was given a release clause and what is the release but I think there are two reasons in Scripture that you can use to say, we may have cause for divorce. Most divorces I've seen could have been avoided. Most marriages that are having conflicts that I've seen could have been restored but because of selflessness, a lack of communication and unwillingness to commit themselves they were unwilling to go through with that make the hard choices, but other arm. These two options in the Bible. Number one would be when immorality takes place back in verse nine of Matthew 19 anyone who divorces his wife except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery is not to say of adultery is committed. Divorce is mandatory, or even recommend it. Every effort should be made even if adultery is taken place to restore the marriage and examine the steps that led to the sin and apply some preventative measures because immorality is not only grounds for divorce also grounds for forgiveness. So there can be forgiveness that I've seen marriages survived this, but there's some guys and sometimes goes to. Usually guys I have to be honest who are serial adulterers, I mean they just go from one thing to another thing to another thing that comes a point worldwide says I can't take it anymore and far be it for me to see know you have to keep forgiving him forever. Other can come a point where you can say you know what you do have these grounds pray about it. I would love to see restoration in your marriage somehow what you actually do have a release clause given to you by Christ himself conquers the second reason for divorce. Her second legitimate point that you can make and that is desertion desertion.

First Corinthians 713 says every Christian woman as a husband is an unbeliever and is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him.

First of all this addresses the idea of being married to a nonbeliever in many people find themselves in the situation may be because they became a Christian after they were married to now you're married to this nonbelieving guy or maybe a non-believing girl sometimes.

Unfortunately, Christians will God and intentionally marry a nonbeliever say well I'll lead them to Christ. Well, maybe you will. And there's a good chance you will and then have you been married for a year or so you say wow really made a mistake in.

I just met this really cute Christian guy at church and the Lord spoke to my heart and he said to me dump your heathen husband and bury the cute Christian God know God didn't say that. Why do you know God didn't say, because God said this first Corinthians 713 of a Christian woman as a husband who's an unbeliever, and is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him then it goes on in verse Corinthians 715 if the husband or wife who is in a Christian insists on leaving. Let them go. In such cases, the Christian husband or wife is not required to stay with them for God wants his children to live in peace. Okay, so here's how this works out. So you're married to some person will think a guy example any just as I'm leaving you, and he walks away. He moves out of the house he's living in another house. He's even living with another woman and another house which are technically married still. So you're waiting in a month goes by and by, months go by, and a year goes by and you're waiting in your being patient and then you say, are you ever going to come back he says no I'm never going to come back so some well-meaning Christian might take would just keep praying no peers of the Bible says you will release clause that you may want to keep praying, and you may want to hang in there and I've seen situations where that person came to their senses and by the way, you know, in the King James it says that the nonbelieving the part I don't think this is really about. If they claim to be a Christian or not just any man.

The walks out and his wife effectively to me is behaving as a non-believer that the Bible even says if you don't provide for your family. You're worse than a non-believer so he may or she made to the point were seen this happen with women today. Now even walking out on their husbands in even their children. And this is mind blowing to me why Greg are all sinners. I don't know I just can't believe a mom-and-pop account and her children. We know guys are dogs and they been doing it for years, but a mother who bore the children to walk out on the bench is so shocking that that's the time were living in now. We sure this thing happening. There comes a point when you could say they're not coming back and that versus God has called us to peace.

And so you have grounds for divorce to a biblical grounds. I never encourage divorce. I think as I said most divorces can be avoided, but there are times when these release clauses can be utilized to Greg Laurie love the second half of his message in just a moment, emails, phone calls, and even text messages from listeners are so encouraging to us and they let us know the effectiveness of these studies by Pastor Greg listening for a decade now and grow closer to God because of the way you speak. I also listen to your podcast. In my free time while driving in your teaching through God's word is given me hope to work.

There may be some child that they carried me into adulthood. I'm now married, has been, and I listen to getting he served in the Army live in nursing school.

It's a little silly that we sometimes spend quality time laying on the floor with our dog and listening to your messages as a grown woman and wife Allison thoroughly enjoyed listening to your wife Kathy speak I can just see her love for God and others. And I want to thank you both for providing such amazing resources for every stage of my life were so grateful to hear of the changed lives to harvest ministries and if you have a story to tell of how the studies touched your life. Email Pastor Greg greg@harvest.org that's great that harvest.org Pastor Greg continues now with this presentation called how to divorce proof your marriage. You can get a replay of the full study@harvest.org even when divorces happen. That's not the end, I received a letter from one of our listeners to our radio broadcast a new beginning. She says there Greg listening your program for 15 years. I was struggling with the marriage that wasn't going very well.

I've been married for 25 years ago my husband and I got a divorce. However, I was a senior marriage series and I was able to grow and be change and she writes I learned to love my husband in a way I never knew possible. And now we are married again for the past five years.

So here was family broken. They got a divorce and they got remarried again. We need to divorce proof marriages so periodically you gotta step back and ask yourself the hard questions like husbands, my loving my wife as Christ loves the church the wives my respecting my husband and submitting to his servant leadership and for both MI denying myself and putting the needs of my made about my own sort of asking the question, are there any flammable materials you have lying around in your relationship, you make your stand there you stop and ask yourself, is there any activity I'm engaged in that is putting distance between my mate and myself as a ready relationship I have with any other person that is hurting this marriage was as important because one day you're going to be old like me and before you know it like to be coming to an end and you get to be sitting on that rocking chair or in that retirement home or maybe on your deathbed and you can reflect back on your life and I tell you this much, when you look back across your life. The big accomplishments are knocking to be how much money you made, or how well known you were of those big accomplishments you're going to find are going to be your faith and your family and you can think about your children and perhaps her grandchildren, leaving great grandchildren and if you know on that day that you been faithful to your spouse and you had a marriage that is lasted a lifetime you're going to be one happy person because the regrets always, when we've neglected these areas. So let's take some preventative steps to keep our family strong. Here's a few closing points that were done number one walk with God. This is the greatest thing you can do even above. Keeping your marriage strong just walk with God. If you are walking closely with the Lord you will have this relationship with him and the resources you need to do what God is called to the because there is no way I can love my wife as Christ loves the church without the help in filling of the Holy Spirit on a regular basis and there's definitely no way that Kathy can submit to my leadership without the help of the Holy Spirit. So we need God's help we need to walk closely in his presence. No David of course fell into sin with Bathsheba and I've mentioned him. It all started when there was a breakdown in this fellowship with the Lord. No, David was known for his closeness to God's intimacy with God, but that was neglected and then other things began to crowd into his life. So walk with God. Point number one. Point number two walk with your spouse. Walk with your spouse to be literally walk with your spouse take walks together long leisurely walks but even more, spend time developing friendship and romance don't grow complacent enjoying each other's company.

Spend time together break away from your schedule and be that I was talking with Kathy recently in the series a member we talk together and that she said one of the things I did early on in her marriage that she didn't like. At the time was.

I said we need to just take a little time up just you and me because she didn't want to leave the kids and I said no we need to do this now. She looks back on it and says I'm glad we did it and I would just periodically think we need a little break to shoot me let's go somewhere.

Let's do something, even a four day ledges you and me go. Let's put that stinking cell phones away. Let's have conversations together and talk together and be together and it doesn't have to be an exotic or nice place. Just maybe a different place in your normally in away from the pressures and demands of possible of your life and just enjoying each other's company. Number three. Don't walk in the counsel of the ungodly, so walk with God.

Walk with your spouse don't walk in the counsel of the ungodly, the wise person of someone it says of him or her. Blessed is the man that walks not in the counsel of the ungodly car stands in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in it, does he meditate day and I don't walk ungodly counsel. So needless to say this would speak of any kind of relationship with a member of the opposite sex, especially obits done a little bit flirty. You know, here's a little word of advice. Don't ever go to a member of the opposite sex for marital counseling and outgrow you work with having problems with my marriage. Can you counsel me are you an idiot. That's almost like an invitation hey let's see what happens now. If it's your mother it's okay you can talk to your mother or you know, but I'm get my point. Don't walk in the counsel of the ungodly, if you know people that sort of encourage and faithfulness are encouraged illicit activity don't hang out with people like that and finally count the cost. Remember some of the warnings we brought up those along with an intense love for God and your spouse will see you through the rough waters of sexual temptation. I mean, pay attention. There's a cost you cross these lines in your marriage falls apart. God, that's a heavy cost to pay. You don't want to go down that road know someone might symbol Greg, I have gone down that road actually I have committed adultery or I am divorce. What about me is like just over know it isn't because we serve a God who gives second chances. Think of the story.

That woman caught in the act of adultery. She was brought before a crowd of people who wanted to stoner Jesus looked around and said well let him that's without sin cast the first note in the Bible says he wrote on the ground, and I've always wanted to know what to the right on the ground didn't. It was like just doodling down there something I think he was writing me because it says the Elizabeth said let him that's without sin cast the first of many road on the ground and then he stood up and they started leaving from the oldest of these offending party with names Kayla maybe commandment number three that he broke or for five and six.

Or maybe the word or something that that guy had done and they left it all that was left was this woman he says woman where your accusers. She says I have to says neither do I condemn the go and sin no more. But here's the key. He says woman, where are your accusers, she said, Lord, I have not she has the word Lord so that woman who'd been caught in adultery.

Good sin. At that moment recognize Jesus Christ as Lord and he for gave her self welcome to God say Lord I failed to fill in this marriage.

I failed in this choice I filled in this other thing, and if you will turn from that sin he will forgive you of that. And here's your marching orders now go and sin no more.

Don't go do it again. No, you can't change the past anymore then you can unscramble in it, but you can start today to say I would do the right thing from this moment forward. Some of you listening to this message right now may not have a relationship with God. Maybe you've never asked Jesus Christ to come in your life to be your savior and Lord others.

Others of you that have known the Lord for years, but you have a laptop that you made a big mistake, you sin against God, and you need to get rid of that sin to get right with the Lord. It was David, after he sin, who said in Psalm 51 against the and the only have I said and done, this iniquity, and then David said restore to me the joy of my salvation. God wants to forgive you but you like that woman caught in the act of adultery need to acknowledge your sin and you need to acknowledge him as Lord, and you can be forgiven of everything you've done that is wrong and sinful before God. If you've never asked Christ to come in your life to be your Savior and Lord of you need to make a recommitment to Ken, you can do it right now.

Let's all bow our heads and pray father I pray for any here that do not know you. Help them to come to you and believe in you and find your forgiveness in Jesus name important prayer if you'd like to make a change in your relationship with the Lord today. Pastor Greg will help you do that in just a moment before today's addition of a new beginning.

Concludes what were making available a unique book called divine disruption by Dr. Tony Evans. Many people are familiar with that name, and many also know that he has four adult children who were also all involved in ministry and they co-authored this book along with him at the Evans family has suffered some terrible tragedies eight family members passed away over the course of the last two years now and we all experience some rain in our lives. Problems, worries and crises.

Sometimes it's even a downpour and sometimes it should a flood and Pastor Greg. This new book, divine disruption is from a family that survived the flood and grew through it is not right. Yes it is right and you know that probably the most profound loss for Tony and his children was his wife going to be with the Lord. Lois she was sick for quite a long time and that her faith was strong throughout her suffering and her sickness, but then she was called home to heaven. There is one quote in this book, which says we have one goal in this one short life we have on planet Earth.

Do not lose focus serve the purposes of God. Lois Evans did that. The rest of the Evans family is doing that. Are you doing that that's what we all should be doing serving the purposes of God, you know, let me be honest and I think you know this already. It's not a matter of if you're going to diets a matter of when. Death will come but death is not the end for Christian it's not the end of the road. The road continues on into the presence of God. Jesus said I am the resurrection of the life and he that believes in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live. And whosoever lives and believes in me shall never die.

Then he asked this question, do you believe this, I mean really, if we believe life is short and I want to live it well were going to want to live it for the glory of God. We don't want to waste our life. We don't want to waste our months and our weeks in our days, we want to invest our life into honoring and serving God. So here's a book now that I want to offer you called divine disruption written by Tony and his two sons and his two daughters, telling you how they dealt with losing their mother and other members of the family how they dealt with it in faith, but it's also an honest book. It's candid to talk about the pain of the heart ache that comes with losing someone that you love so much. So this is going to be a hopeful book is going to be a hopeful book and it's going to be an instructive book for many of you, and I want to send you a copy of divine disruption by Tony Evans and his family for your gift of any size whatever you send will be used. To help us continue to preach the gospel and teach the word of God. So if you believe in what were doing. Please respond to this offer will rush to your copy of divine disruption. Thanks in advance. It's powerful encouragement for those times of serious challenge and heartache and we hope you let us send us your way. Thank you for your generosity as you request this thank you gift divine disruption by Dr. Tony Evans and his family.

You can call us right now at 1-800-821-3300. That's 1-800-821-3300 and you can make your donation and request online@harvest.org and then the faceted would you like to speak to those who would like to make a change today, and their relationship with the Lord. I would deny I receive so many letters day from people from every walk of life from successful businessmen to those who are incarcerated to mothers struggling is are trying to raise her children to young Boys and Girls Club writing and saying they've made a commitment or recommitment to Jesus and maybe you need to make a commitment to him right now.

Let me lead you one word of prayer.

Yes, you can meet God right now and I would just ask you to pray this prayer out loud after me and this is what you are asking Christ to come in your life. Pray with me know if you would, Lord Jesus, I know that I'm a sinner. I know that I've broken your commandments and I fallen short of your standards but I think you that you have loved me and you've called me. Be yourself. So I turned for my sin right now and I choose to believe in and follow you be my Savior be my Lord and be my God from this moment forward. Thank you for calling me and loving me and accepting me in Jesus name I pray, amen. Hey let me just say God bless you. You've made the right decision and welcome to the family of God. Everyone to follow up with you by sending something called our new believers growth packet to help you get started.

Living as a Christian will send it without charge. If you prayed for the first time today to receive Christ. Just ask for the new believers growth packet when you call 1-800-821-3300. We are here to speak with you 24 seven and again at number 1-800-821-3300 or go online to harvest.org and click know God when next I Pastor Greg has the final message is this popular series called home sweet home more marriage advice straight from God's word join us here on a new beginning. Pastor and Bible teacher Greg Laurie everybody thinks or listening to an beginning this is a podcast made possible by harvest partners. So for more content can help you know God and equip you to make him known to others or to learn more about how you can become a harvest partner. Just go to harvest.org