Seven Reasons to Say "I Do", Part 1

One match ever.

They were as far as the world goes compatible different family backgrounds different family tradition. They were geographically part one had grown up in idolatry and paganism brought up a follower of God, one was a mature believer, the other one a new believer.

One was rich.

The other was poor, but they had this job. They had both surrendered their lives to the God of Abraham, Isaac and often there are two extremes when it comes to deciding to marry some people rush into it quickly and others over analyze it and put it off here on wisdom for the heart. Stephen Devi is looking at the love story of Ruth and Boaz as he does he finds seven principles or seven reasons for saying yes to a marriage proposal.

This lesson is filled with practical advice from God's word today. It's called seven reasons to say I stay with us. Stephen open Scott and email somebody sent me a better way to number of interesting facts were highlighted seen these that are rapidly changing world is amazing. Many many facts and give you some of them facts like these, the average person will have had 12 jobs by their 38 birthday that's a lot of changes in it.

Lot of change, the top 10 jobs that will be in demand in 2010 did not even exist in 2004, which means we are currently preparing students for jobs that don't yet exist where they will use technologies and tools that haven't been invented in order to solve problems we don't even know our problems yet interesting 70% of US United States.

Four-year-olds have used the computer. I believe that they not is a better idea… Trust me, I'm convinced that there are over more than 100 million registered people on MySpace.calm, which means if MySpace were a country, it would be the 11th largest country in the world. Interesting. The first text message was sent in 1992.

My youngest daughter probably said no. She wasn't even born yet. 1992 the first text message was sent. Now the number of text messages sent and received every day exceeds the population of the world and you get half of them. You probably think right.

There are nearly 3 billion searches on Google in one months time. One of the points made in this list of rapidly changing dynamics in our culture that just stuck out to me was by the year 2005, one out of every eight couples who married met online. 1/8 that number has increased dramatically in the last three years.

I did a little digging and found out that the fastest growing trend in dating is either dating more and more relationships are developing online fact that red one author who did a lot of extensive research on the subject and recorded. Conservative estimates indicate there are currently 50 million people who are using online dating service 50 million people that you've been around here for a while. You probably heard me take a cracker to it. You know, eHarmony or whatever and I want to know that it dating service is not the bad wolf all right.

I wanted to track with me through the course of this study and I want to say a few things and you need to hear everything in order to believe that I'm balanced, which I hope I am prayed as I prepared this you know we have wonderful couples in our church met through an online dating service. I've met several of its one of those gray areas.

There is another verse in the Bible about online dating. I look for what I couldn't find it is in one how you communicate with the one you fall in love with it. The Bible just doesn't address it.

Unfortunately by the time I started dating the telephone you know that is been around for a while, UNICEF black glossy plastic thing used to hang up on your kitchen wall.

Well I use that. However, I think there needs to be a warning for every single individual, not just for online dating services but dating. The word is sort of risen to the top of the dating scene it's promised by online dating services is pursued by millions of singles worldwide is is this word compatibility. That is the leading word one web dating service promises to match you with numerous dimensions of compatibility, which are, and I quote scientifically based predictors of long-term relationship success.

Those are interesting words scientifically based predictors of long-term relationship success.

Part of the emerging problem is, is the fact that reports are now coming in because this phenomena has been around for a few years estimating that is high or as many as 90% of online daters are lying about something. One researcher wrote for men.

The major areas of deception in an online relation course you can't see them.

And so you won't know until you get to know them better, but that the key areas of deception are for men. Their income, their height and their marital status for women.

Major areas of deception are there weights and their age. I'm not even going to go there. Okay so listen to this, a scientifically-based predictor matching you with someone you've never met could actually be created by someone who is lying. In fact, online dating services are now estimating and I'm telling you this further to terrify you even more that at least 12% of online male suitors are already married even more commonly singles are developing online relationships with more than one person at a time which in a church setting or social setting. He would never be allowed to do one of our pastors on staff emailed me this weekend said that he's aware of individuals in our church have been hurt by this very thing. One woman discovered the man she was falling in love with the road involved with another woman online the same time she found out later, another couple cancel their wedding plans after dating in real life because they realized what match them on the line didn't gel with primary goals and real Pastor hardball wrote me this saying we believe online dating sites can only give a person an introduction. We advise them to spend no less than six months. Seeing that individual live their life in person where they can be observed day in and day out making decisions, choosing friends, watching how they treat other people relating in the body of Christ and so is good advice. A keyword that sums up the advantages of dating over time. In real life, is the word accountability.

Accountability with friends who observe your relationship accountability with the pastors and spiritual leaders to get to know you both accountability with peers.

You rub shoulders with an and even parents who might offer insight and feedback. All of that is invaluable.

The truth is, whether online or on or on out on a live date. We all know what it means to put our best foot forward.

That's what you do right. We all did that my first date with Marsha to a church service in the last I have been taking her to church. Ever since I showed up at her dormitory wearing my best suit. I mean it was it was something it was dark blue heavy wall with large Mafia stripes, pinstriped I had on dark blue shirt and own white polyester necktie. They just shown. She told me that when she opened the door to meet me. She nearly fainted. She did know if I was there to pick her up her suitor. She told me much, much later, she said she that Steve and I wanted to be with you, but I didn't want to be seen with that. I thought I was ready. I even had on a pair of baby blue satellites first just want to top it all off. Oh yeah get the same good taste. She does what you don't go out on the Dayton, you know, tell the personal your idiosyncrasies in all the strange things you wait till later after you're married by me later dated a while dating in real life provides time for that later. It allows for later things to develop online dating speeds up the process because a person is been given the reassurance that they have been matched.

They have found someone just like them, as if marrying someone just like you would be a good thing right so let's be honest, were all fallen were all clay pots and romance happens to take place between two sinners and don't misunderstand as well. Similar tastes similar desires. Similar interests are wonderful things but those differences and those distinctives and those different perspectives and tastes can be used by God who gave them to your God planned. God created spouse and they are intended to complement and to broaden and develop and deepen who you are and how you thing and how you live the biblical view of marriage is not so much compatibility as it is complementing complementing means there are differences to work out. There are perspectives to sharpen their our thought process process is to balance and God puts two people that have differences together to make a whole two sinners seeking God's grace and his will for their lives that covenantal love each other for better or for worse. They happen to provide the best illustration on the planet of the love of Christ for his church. Think about it. We happened to be the bride of Christ. How compatible are we that him which reminds me, don't forget that two people can share a lot of similar tastes and interests, but if they do not share a relationship with Jesus Christ they will never be truly compatible where it really matters that search for Mr. right that search for Miss right is not a search for someone like you is a search for someone who wants to be like Christ. That is foundational so conversion to Christ is the starting point is extremely dangerous to consider dating someone. It is an opportunity to evangelize her. We don't believe in evangelistic dating.

Some of you may have married an unbeliever and you knew it when you started dating your heart was swept along in and you married him or her and they came to faith after you married and we praise God, but you are not the rule.

You are the exception to the exception churches are filled with spiritual widows married but do not have spouses who love Christ so you begin with conversion.

If that Internet dating service you've chosen doesn't include your relationship and commitment to Jesus Christ. How can they find you a batch factors, like Paul wrote it when he talked about not making unequal yokes between believer and unbeliever great context for the marriage relationship in second Corinthians 6. He says because what fellowship has light with darkness, what fellowship you could translate that compatibility what compatibility is Alliance with darkness so you can put all your compatibilities over on one side you both on the same kind of music a food career, number of children sense of humor and personality of background geography accent. Whatever put all over here in one pile, but if there is not spiritual life by virtue of faith in Christ all of those will eventually become incidental. Bottom line is conversion, then character. How do you detect character over time with prayer asking the Lord for discernment and guidance and building that into your own life as well as looking for that in someone else's life you'll detect over time to discern truth character if if Boaz and Ruth had had a checklist. I wonder what what it would have looked like.

It occurred to me as I was studying this Texas I kinda want to slow the train down and and and talk about this issue because it it occurred to me that no one would have her match them ever. They were as far as the world goes incompatible different family backgrounds with different family tradition. They were geographically worlds apart. One had grown up in idolatry and paganism. The other had grown up a follower of God, one was a mature believer, the other one a new believer.

One was rich. The other was poor.

One was a business owner, the other a migrant worker one was single. The other had been married already wanted to experience the death of a spouse and the other hadn't one was financially independent of the other live hand to mouth in the list could go on and on and on but they had this in common.

They had both surrendered their lives to the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and as we will see to his word from their brief love story. I think it's easy to see in this encounter at the threshing floor were Ruth propose marriage to her kinsman redeemer.

We can make some observations about genuine character affect what I want to call. This is seven good reasons to say I do. Here they are number one and Marty talked about some of these already in this introduction but will pull them out of the text spirituality spiritual mindedness go back to Ruth. Chapter 3 we've already learned. By the way, if you been with us in this study that the relationship of Boaz with God was living was active in in the days of Judges when everybody did that which is right in in their own eyes. Boaz lived with the sense of spiritual awareness. You find them in chapter 2, where he is asking for the blessing of God on his employees. We talked about how it would be so interesting to have a boss that comes to work, walks by your desk and says how are you doing with God today when that be wonderful to have someone who cares spiritually about you in the workplace would be certainly unique and his employees were no different in understanding the uniqueness of him when he first met Ruth, the guy starts praying he asks that that she would find shelter under the wings of God. I imagine right then and there she is saying that that's while that would be a guy would be interested now at the threshing floor after after the love of his life is already fallen in love with her, asks him to become her kinsman redeemer, which means you know the go well, to be the one to marry her buy up her late husband's estate pay off all of her family debts.

The first thing Boaz said in verse 10 of chapter 3 is in response.

May you be blessed of the Lord. My daughter and I said last time that Hebrew word is simply one word yet basically is what he meant.

God bless you Ruth what he said this wasn't an act, it really wasn't the best foot forward. This was life for you love God, and God was always on his lips. He had an active living, walking, breathing relationship with God. This is this is foundational but women. This is where you you begin why because in the last the Lord builds the house, you labor in vain to build it on your own. Someone 27, one like I am so convinced of that being foundational every couple have challenges and difficulties in whatever I'm involved in a wedding. It is always very moving to me to come to that dedication prayer and I'm always close to tears because I realize I'm holding their hands. They have their hands clasped and were having that dedication prayer. I have no idea what they're going to face in their lives no idea how high the mountain peaks are going to be in half deep valleys are here. They stand up at the threshold of life and they must stand there united in their faith to Christ.

It will be tested.

It will be challenged and so at some point in the wedding ceremony. It's my tradition to ask the young man of the older man young woman older woman at some point, would you say in the presence of these witnesses. Understanding the significance of having a relationship with Jesus Christ that you have invited Christ into your life and I have that man say out loud. I have do you believe that this marriage is the will of God in your life. Yes, I do. Do you promise to make them not only the Lord of your heart for the Lord your home as well. Yes and I say the same thing to his bride.

Understanding that were sinners were progressing.

We we we make great statements of faith and we have times of doubt, but there is that underlying relationship with the grace of God, and it is foundational. So for those of you who are single it. It really doesn't take a long time to discover whether or not this very first quality is present spiritual mindedness or spirituality to find out whether or not there are sincerely walking with Christ is really your first search so you ask yourself the question again been on one date to dates. I've had two conversations, or maybe three. Have they brought God into the conversation. Do they talk about. Do they talk about pleasing him today. Talk about being related to him that he said anything about wanting to live for him. Did they encourage you to follow him to. Have you ever seen their Bible yeah I think it's in the front seat of the car to sign written in the sky run another character quality of this list would be humility. These two attributes don't necessarily sharpen the same body it's possible to be spiritually minded and proud. Look at verse 10 of chapter 3, Boaz says to her. Now these responding to her proposal. You have shown your last kindness to be better than the first. By not going after young men, whether poor or rich long way of saying I can't believe you chose me. I can't believe you want me when he refers here to her first kindness is referring to the way she's treated Naomi that kindness is nonbiased. All that first kindness wow that was amazing to see the kind of commitment you made to this woman, your mother-in-law is referencing her care for Naomi, but then he says all but your last kindness is greater than your first what's the last kindness you want me you are so kind to want to marry me you guys are married, wasn't so kind of your wife to marry you. Amen.

All that's good to hear that, ladies was strong never told nothing about Boaz's age. By the way that he does reference her as his daughter indicates that he's probably older than her. It can be.

However, an expression of kindness and care. Furthermore, the Bible, by the way doesn't tell us then tells what Ruth looks like one word and it doesn't.

Also, Boaz looks like doesn't tell us anything about his physique and we don't know if he's if he's tall dark and handsome or or tall, skinny and bald, which is so much better. We we do know that he was wealthy enough to hire employees.

He was wealthy enough to own fields but that makes it all all the more obvious how how different they are. Here's a destitute woman one step away from being a beggar from another country with nothing tangible to offer but dad, and potential derision as we'll see later in Boaz says I am so thrilled you want me so happy is humility is obvious. We watched it we watched him care for his employees. We we watched them communicate concern for those around him. Now he's got his sleeves rolled up and is adhered to the threshing floor is even spending the night out there, he could've he could've bought people to do that for the truth is, in his culture. He was near the top of the food chain. He had every reason to be proud instead of humble and yet every time he opens his mouth. The quality of humility comes another character quality might want to add to your list is the word priority in other words, know what matters most in and Ruth evidently does as well. That's clear to look at verse 11. Boaz goes on to say, listen the reason I'm so pleased with your proposal, and was a yes is because all of my people in the city. No you are a woman of beauty.

No all of my people in the city know that you are a woman of of rare talent know all of the people in my city know that you are a woman of class know all the people in my city know that you are woman of personal charm, no all of the people in my city know that you are a woman of excellence.

Your text may read noble character. That's what you're known for.

She evidently had priorities as well. The same word is translated virtuous in Proverbs chapter 31, by the way, lest you think I better Proverbs 31 to start a sermon out of their it's also the same word used in chapter 2 of Boaz translated well I think unfortunately same word you know this is a person of moral character and strength hear a lot of sermons about the virtuous woman. Too bad you don't hear sermons on the virtuous man. Same word is used both here is then the making of a good man's they are both committed to the priority of godly living guys. If you study this along with me. I hope you are challenged already by this well there are more ways for us to be challenged and encouraged by the example of both Boaz and Ruth however working to stop here and conclude this lesson on our next broadcast. This is wisdom for the hearts the Bible teaching ministry of Stephen Davey. Today's message is called seven reasons to say I do. Stephen is the pastor of the shepherd's church in Cary, North Carolina.

Carrie is located just adjacent to Raleigh. If your travel plans ever bring you through this area. We enjoy having you join us for a worship service on the Lord's day.

Until then, thanks for listening will bring you the conclusion to this message. Next time on wisdom