How to Avoid Marital Failure (Part 2 of 2)

If you've used as part of and you know the for one reason or another. A balloon can pop it can explode.

Most balloons however will just slowly leak until their deflated that can happen in a marriage to today on Truth for Life will learn how to avoid broken relationships by paying close attention to the basics, Alistair Beggs, including his message title how to avoid numerical as with most matters in life. The breakdown in marital affairs comes not as a result, usually of the extravagant and the bazaar, but on account of a failure to pay attention to the basics consistently know some of you are perhaps tempted to press say I kind of a mental injection button. At this point because you know that you've had all this so many times now that your experts added while then my the first thing I wrote down on my notes will be particularly appropriate for the likes of you. So here it is number one in preventing marital failure.

Do not be so foolish as to maintain that it could not happen to you. Secondly, do not assume that a great marriage can be discovered and enjoyed without some solid hard work. Thirdly, do not allow the busyness of life to disguise neglect.

Do not allow the busyness of life to disguise neglect 43 this is a simple one.

Don't make the mistake of taking each other for granted. First Peter 37 Peter says to their there his readers. He says husbands be considerate in the way that you live with your wives.

I'm going to be biased to speaking to husbands at its inevitable since I wrote a note to myself. You ladies can just apply in the other way around. But this is what I found most recently I found this strange phenomenon, especially as it relates to the great calling of motherhood. I'm deeply saddened to find how many men after a period of time begin to denigrate their wives because they have chosen to make the ultimate sacrifice in the calling of motherhood that you will be a keeper at home that you will be a tender offer children that she will be a provider that she will give all that sustenance and security within the family unit find many man saying out loud what my wife is is this and they somehow find far more attractive.

At 11 o'clock in the morning somebody wearing a navy blue suit and high heels than the thought of what they have left behind within their own home and they begin to take their wives for granted. In recent days and talking with a couple I asked him to write down what it contributed to the demise of the marriage on the problem of contributing to the demise of the marriage. The man had written my wife appears to be content just to be a mother. Life goes by very quickly. And if you've been given the privilege of having someone in your old who is prepared to be there for you and to you and to your family to get down on your knees and thank God every day. But instead of that there are too many people that are reading the Bible too little and reading Cosmopolitan magazine too much and if you read that godless drivel and allow it to filter through your brain.

You will inevitably spread out the world's view, and you will not have sufficient biblical awareness to be able to declare's beauteous what is clearly's beauteous number five don't don't dig up old failures of past disciplines is a really tragic thing to see how many times especially in disagreements, husbands and wives have discovered an immense capacity for remembering the bad stuff. Philippians 314 I press on toward the goal to win the prize, forgetting those things which are behind, I press on some hundred and three verse three God forgives all of our sins. He heals all of our diseases.

He renews our life's the devil's great strategy is to bring us down and having brought is down to see if he can keep us down. Don't let them bring you down. If he brought you down. Make sure that with Christ's enabling you stand back. Sixthly.

Don't compare your spouse unfavorably with others in terms of Luke's abilities on anything else. I remember these are notes that I wrote to myself, I'm simply sharing with you out of my own note, you understand. Again, Solomon is really wonderful when it comes to these issues in Proverbs chapter 5 he makes this wonderful telling statement which I will now quote to you. Verse 15 of Proverbs 5 drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.

Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers.

This is within the framework of a call to marital purity and the resisting of adultery. You understand what he's saying. May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth are notice it is the wife all of your youth.

He doesn't say, may you rejoice in the wife who looks like your youth.

He describes her then I'm not sure necessarily want to send this on a card to our wives are over lunch reminder that she looks like a loving door and a graceful dear at Slee has some kind of Middle Eastern sentiment to it.

It's not usually on cards and Hallmark picture of a deer on the front with your wife. May her breasts satisfy you always may you ever be captivated by her love to give the impression there that this is something that is directly related to the will and not to the emotions you're right come across with clarity to what Solomon is saying there is that this is a decisive Trinity of the mind preparedness to say this is my focus. This is my commitment.

This is all that is my everything else beyond that is nothing. Do we really think that we can set on the plane and leave through people magazine.

I and read about the exploits of the rich, the famous the foolish acute allow those images to penetrate the computer of our brain and then realistically to apply the Bible to our marriage. The factors it can be, and the degree to which we playing with that stuff in our minds is the degree to which we make it increasingly difficult to live out this principle, namely don't compare your spouse unfavorably with others in terms of Luke's abilities or anything. One thing for you ladies to make yourselves attractive.

It's another for you to make yourself deliberately seductive. You know the difference.

So I so is every guy so in the eastern picture when the bride of Isaac comes to meet the attraction. He couldn't see much heed to see her eyes sticking through the eyes you find the soul we can baptize so much of our Western traction to biblical orthodoxy. We have imported so much garbage into our lifestyle that we don't know how messed up we really and that's why our marriages are in the dreadful condition in which the cars we are playing around with stuff in our minds while all the time professing to be paradise straightforward 73 speed up now. Don't take someone of the opposite sex into precincts that are the exclusive domain of your spouse.

Don't take someone on the opposite sex into precincts that are the exclusive domain of your spouse cut through it.

What is it mean means this is a lady in your office or things you have broad shoulders and she like to cry on them. Tell her to keep moving. Go find someone else to cry on because your shoulders are only for one girl to cry on or a few more if you've got doctors only three people can cry on here girls that is so Michelle and Emily all the rest can go cry somewhere else. You call yourself a pastor and you say things like that. Yeah why because I'm going to be a sensible pastor, because I want to be married pastor, because I want to be a pure cash for my kids growing up under me all will pastor there's this lady in my office doing is witnessing to her at lunchtime just get a sandwich and we go down and she's got all these questions about the Bible stop stop it. Yesterday she will listen to anybody else. Secondly, don't fatten up your ego with nonsense like that.

If she is interested in the things of faith. She'll listen to anybody. She doesn't need you so go find a girl that she will listen to all your away with it.

Pastor mean what year you some kind of foolish individual or stop no the situation that I just crossed the Atlantic for in four days started with. If you ever heard of the four spiritual laws and ended up with the disintegration of the family. Don't be so naïve as to think that we can take into our life's that kind of stuff you can universal posted started to understand the principles of women ministering to women and men ministering to men in a way that takes us beyond those kind of policing I could say more about that I can.

The only intimacy that should be enjoyed with some of the opposite sex.

Is your wife or your husband, your sons and your daughters hatefully hatefully do not allow each other. The kind of freedom that so readily breeds neglect don't allow each other. The kind of freedom that so readily breeds neglect. What is that mean in practical terms it means this when you say you're going to phone phone and phone I don't often business trips and say wow call you whenever sale call you at 6 o'clock or I'll call you on route, but I'll call you. You know where I am.

You know who I'm with. You know what I'm thinking why out of a sense of fear now because it's a great pain to be separate and is a great joy to be united even if it's only to hear the sound of one another's voice he lived in their fence, only to see the scrawl of one another's handwriting number nine will get eight more. I'm just going to tell you women were done. I want to expound on the metal after I'd written the easy down. I decided I better write some positive ones down to myself as I had clear know what I shouldn't be doing.

And then I thought what what should I be doing so. Nine be daily in prayer for the health of your marriage and the harmony of your home daily in prayer for the health of your marriage in the harmony of your home 10 be sacrificial in the expression of your love for each other. You want to check that. Just ask yourself the question, what I done in the last seven days. That was an act of sacrifice on my part for my spouse. 11 be imaginative D-ring and occasionally extravagant in displaying your affection be imaginative D-ring and occasionally extravagant in displaying your affection.

Righteousness is not a synonym for boarding how your marriage very holy's speak to me a little bit about that. What is that mean while we have a very holy marriage, or even you always keep a Bible between your son anyone wants to be unkind to tell you something I am scouring the face of God's earth to find good marriages that I can call.

Maybe I'm just missing them all and you know where the are you going to tell me where they are but I don't think so, and the amount of boring marriages that I uncover in the course of my days is incredible to me guys whose imagination went south after they walked down the aisle.

They thought about the craziest things to do, to tell their bride-to-be they love them. They are so light on big sheets of wallpaper and roll it up and send it UPS huge regulators. I love you send in a role of welfare them for the girls that he's crazy but I love okay she would do these bizarre things making ties and embroider them and to others and get these amazing ties Thompson wallpaper, no ties, just business as usual, here's the funny thing the guy goes off and takes a lot of suddenly he's Mr. imagination. His wife is laughter say he never thought of that with me. He never said he'd meet me in that place he never planned to take me on that guys let me tell you something if you don't get creative daring, imaginative, with the wife of your youth. You will die as a boring all claptrap are all you will find yourself getting Danning imaginative and creative with somebody who is the wife of your youth to your three choices, boring old joker involved in adultery or give your best at home only one choice may keep you on the Christian path following after Christ. 12 be sure that you don't use your children is the glue that holds you or the wedge that separates you the children that hold you are the wedge that separates you, happens all the time. Remember this, the kids are the ones that are leaving where the ones that are staying there going where say so if we have to talk about is then did you go to school today. Yes I was fine and did you drive in there, yes, did you pick her up. Yes, did you go to the cello lesson yes, how was it when this business.

After about five minutes of that we thing we find the most meaningful family time conversation that we haven't spoken about anything naturally stand up and walk out the room and a slight while which we do now.

Unless, of course, what happened so many times 13. Be ruthless, ruthless in resisting anyone or anything that will draw your affections from each other. 14 be ready to listen to and willing to speak about what's going on inside each other's head's okay everything is what it tell me she never listens to me or he won't speak to me there is no intimacy in our marriage says it will says no man what you mean and see, and he things in physical terms she's thinking in emotional terms she's thinking in companionship and abiding enjoyment of one another's company and his brain is completely gone, gone, Peter sources in the 60s at a song where you go to my lovely when you're alone in your bed.

Tell me the thoughts that surround you. I want to look inside your head. You know what your spouse is thinking about jobs leaving about something funny over there. But the fact is many has been somewhat a clue about their wife's fears, their hopes or dreams because he never asked them in the longest time never said you know tell me five things that have been bugging you about me never said we hope for someone so on.

And what happens is again you go in the office and and somebody comes and says can I like to talk to about something and then a husband driving home the conversation was wonderful having a conversation with such a talkative person so open, so easy knowing my wife the last time we had a decent conversation.

Click can't wait to get back tomorrow for another one of those conversations. 15.

Be certain that a great marriage is possible with divine enabling and human effort. God is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or even imagine what I just settle for adequacy when God would give his abundance. Finally, 16 be aware of how quickly time is passing and sees the day sees the day yesterday is dead and gone tomorrow is out of sight." Chris Christopherson so this all the time we got 60 seconds.

Right now, that's it. All the thank you notes. We never will. Yesterday all the cards we never said yesterday all the endearments is we never send yesterday all the complements we never gave yesterday they're all gone and tomorrow is not here. There's just today. There's just this afternoon, so what are we going to do about our lives are like a vapor that appears for a little while and then passes when we neglect enough of the little things marriage relationship. Eventually that can add up to something that is seemingly insurmountable.

Details matter. This is important and practical advice for all of us were married or who might be one day your listing to Alistair Begg on Truth for Life. What we just heard reinforces what we know that marriages can become strained and are at a greater risk of failure will a couple strays from God's design. Unfortunately, as sinners, we bring our shortcomings into our marriages and this can create some of the difficulties the book gospel trip to marriage grace for sinners to love like saints looks at some of these challenges, the authors, who are longtime married couple provide biblical insight for how to resolve marital tension as you read gospel shape marriage.

You learn ways to remove the strain from your relationship and to make your marriage more fulfilling and more God glorifying this is the last week were offering the book, so be sure to request your copy today is a Truth for Life.org/donate or you can call us at 888-588-7884. If you are finding this series, we too are one valuable you can only study along with other teaching unchristian relationships. This collection of studies from Alister is titled God's design for life together. It's available on the USB for five dollars you'll find it@truthforlife.org/store. In addition to listing the Truth for Life.

You can read Alister's teaching when you use his devotional book titled Truth for Life 365 daily devotions. This book presents a verse or passage of Scripture for each day of the year, followed by commentary then you will be prompted to consider how what you read will shape how you approach the day can purchase your copy at a cost of eight dollars. Life.org/and shipping in the US is Bob Lapine. Are there biblical grounds for divorce is remarriage permissible if you're divorced or widowed. Join us tomorrow to find out how the Bible addresses these issues the Bible teaching of Alistair Begg is furnished by Truth for Life learning is