Teach Your Children Well (Part 3 of 4)

There are a lot of things we can parents that cause our Korean but what exactly does the Bible mean when it talks about exasperating our children today on Truth for Life Alastair Bragg addresses this question as he continues our study in Proverbs 22 study that reveals several challenging pitfalls of parenting and turn to Proverbs 22 and also put our finger in Ephesians chapter 6 and as you do that will pray memo studying the Bible, Proverbs 22 and Ephesians 6 and father we pray that as we study the Bible together, we come to this most crucial part of our worship. We have spoken to you. We have prayed we have sung and now we believe that you speak to us through the Bible by your spirit. Grantor is then listening years. We pray for Jesus sake.

Amen. All returned to the book of Proverbs.

Although leaning fairly heavily as a cross-reference this morning. As you will discover on Ephesians chapter 6 heading one of the reasons that the book of Proverbs is so desirable and so accessible lies in the fact that these proverbial statements are ones that called to visit Skinner says across the street they're not particularly churchy to address the issues of our life. Laziness, friendship, the use and abuse of words and language. The place of sex. The privileges of the learning what it means to be done with a jealous heart and then as we saw last time the responsibilities the peculiar challenges of raising children and in the course of my reading. I was handed these great truths about life. The children have learned that adults of learned and wait truths about growing older son of proverbial statements with which I think Solomon would have been able to identify, for example.

Great truths about life.

The children know when your mom is mad at your dad.

Don't let her brush her hair. You can hide a piece of broccoli and a glass of milk. Those of us who have grown to adulthood now realize that raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree begun to discover the wrinkles don't hurt that laughing is good exercise like jogging on the inside. In the Middle Ages when you choose your cereal for the fiber enough of the toy for myself, I've given up on the health food completely. I need all the preservatives that I can get is frustrating to reach an age for now, I know all the answers but no one is asking any questions at all. When you fall down you wonder what else you can do while you're down there and you know you're getting old when you get the same same sensation from a rocking chair that used to get from the roller coaster proverbial statements that immediately make a point of contact. That's what song is there is taking these statements that are God-given, admittedly, but he is addressing the issues which are issues of great importance, not least of all, this matter of raising children.

Is there any more daunting challenge in all of the earth and being entrusted with little children and being asked to look after them and raise them. We saw last time.

That wisdom begins at home. Children are ours for a limited time only, we can begin to late, but never too soon or we recognize that much that is represented in later life of both good and bad has actually been formed in the minds of our children in infancy. The responsibility that is identified in the six verse year, which is before you is that of training our children in the way that they should go recognizing the fact that there is a way that the word go. The challenge of Christian parenting is to recognize that the direction in which our children would naturally go is another direction in which they need to go and therefore were immediately given the responsibility of a corrective challenge where to dedicate them to the Lord with her in a public way, but certainly in private in the way that was done in the life of Samuel Hannah brought her son and said here I give them to you asked for them. You gave them to me. I want to return to you. We want to do that with our children. We won then having dedicated them to the Lord to bring them instruction in the Lord. When Paul writes of Timothy in two Timothy 315. Remember, he says to them I want to encourage you and remind you of the Scriptures which you have known from infancy and the reason that he known them from infancy was because his parents had been encouraging them.

He and the rest of the family in that way now to think in these terms is to put ourselves immediately cross grained to the world in which we live. When we listen to society. Today we recognize that it largely leaves young people without principles or tall.

The notion is that we are setting young people free, but an actual fight were making them helpless in the mass of humanity deals with their children as if they were born for only this world.

If you observe if you listen to people speak all of the emphasis all of the energy is completely earthbound and of course that is understandable because it begins with a where it with a worldview which says we are only here for the moment carpe diem sees the day yesterday is gone tomorrow is not coming.

There is only now, and there is no eternity. And so what you find. You find that they educate their children consistently time but not for eternity. They leave out the most fundamental question of any action any activity any involvement which is this how does this education.

How does this trip, how does this relationship, how does this opportunity. How does this friendly fact, there souls affect their souls because the Christian understands that encased within this shell, which will one day be laid into the ground is a soul which will live forever in eternity either in the presence of Christ and his followers at the redeemed, which is called heaven or absent from the present of Christ, Christ and those who are in Christ, which is called Hell and the Bible says that we are moving in a linear progression towards that destiny. Any parents who seek to provide for educate their children stir within them principles that leave out the question of their souls educates them in a way that is ultimately futile. So all of their accomplishments and we want them to be accomplished all of their scholarships and were delighted if they get them all of their refinement and we would love them to have it all of their manners and we hope that we instill them in them. All of those things rolled together in this great, wonderful, well bred young girl or young man. If, at the expense of godliness and faith is an education without God, without his promise without hope, without rest and without peace know if you doubt that education leaves people high and dry. Simply go to the highest forms of learning in this country I have in my files I can bring it here. I'm I felt the stories of suicide in the Ivy League schools.

Why would people with so much brainpower to be able to be included in in the most rarefied intellectual group in the country. Why would they do this because they are so clever that they've seen to the end of the chess game and they have bought their package and they believe that there is no hope, and there is no future. Therefore, they might as well punch out now while they have the chance.

I speak this morning I recognized to a gathered group of people from different backgrounds. Some of you have come today for a variety of reasons. You walk right into the midst of this, you may be investigating who Jesus is. You may not have read a Bible in a while you may be wondering is there really any validity to the Bible story or tall and what we been discovering and reading Proverbs together is that it is full of wisdom, which comes down from heaven is first of all pure and peaceable and gentle and open to reason and it is this wisdom which is founded in the fear of the Lord, the recognition that he made us and that we send and that he came to redeem and that in redemption were made in you and we look forward to the day when one day it will all be made perfect in heaven and living in the middle of that we recognize or to reject biblical principles of child rearing is absolutely ruinous because our minds are poor vacuums, and if we do not fill our minds with truth, then they won't have nothing in them. They will be found to have error in therefore it is not that we can simply say this doesn't really matter because after all, I leave my child with a blank slate.

No, we don't leave them with a blank blank slate. The fact is there going to be filled up with something that's what makes this verse, all the more compelling doesn't it's not difficult to understand train a child we know what a child is going to discover what it means to train. Train them in the way he should go. So there is a way that seems right to a man that ends in death. There is a road that is a broad brother leads to destruction, and by natural bend our children would go on that role. The narrow road that leads to life is not a road that they will find themselves on by heritage or by nature or by inclination only by grace, can we enter and only by grace, can we stand God's grace operates through all kinds of influences and one of the significant influences in terms of seeing children come to faith is the parental structure in which they are found, and particularly the role of the father who is given the responsibility as the head of the home to make sure that he's doing what needs to be done now is for that reason that I asked you to put your finger into Ephesians 6 because when you turn forward to Ephesians 6, you find that Paul, who of course had been reared in a Jewish home who had been brought up seeing the Shema that he is driving home the same principle and he says I don't want you father's to end up exasperating your children but instead bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

It's almost a commentary as noted on Proverbs 22 six. Just yesterday I was driven to the airport by a policeman and an off-duty policeman, I should say.

And as we drove there I find out that he been born in Massachusetts that he was now living in Kansas City and that he was the husband of one wife, and he had a little 3 1/2-year-old daughter and eyes and inquired about his daughter and how she was doing his hopes and dreams for her very quickly became apparent that he felt tyrannized by the environment in which he was living so much crime he said so many pressures all of the influences that are upon us and we see them already feeding into our homes and we need to learn to resist them in our hearts.

So we spoke a little bit about that, of course, is the common thought of any sensible person the world around us is antagonistic to biblical truth and biblical conviction. Therefore, unless we are prepared to stand against the tide, then we will drift with the tight and every day that passes it seems to be a greater challenge. Some years ago our father, wrote to his son and part of the letter read as follows your daughter is growing up in the wickedness section of a world much farther gone into moral decline than the world into which you were brought. I have observed that the greatest illusion is to suppose that our children will be devout Christians, simply because their parents have been or that any of them will enter into the Christian faith in any other way than through their parent's deep travail of prayer and faith. But this prayer demands time, time that cannot be given. If it is all signed and conscripted and laid on the altar of career ambition failure for your son. At this point would make mere success in your occupation. A very pale and washed out affair. Indeed read Ecclesiastes 5. The description of the man who was around the house and he sees that in the bedrooms of his children. All these things that he bought for his children, but there were no children there is a man who is all alone is a lonely man that his funeral none of his children will stand up and say I wish my dad had gone to the office more often than he did.

My purpose this morning is to try and work through with you.

This exhortation which both in Proverbs and in Ephesians comes negatively and positively. First of all, what are we not to do while we we have to make sure that in doing the positive things we also do the negative switches do not exasperate your children not exasperate your children and I was don't embitter them and don't provoke them now. Of course we have to say that some of us exasperate our children just by our mere existence existence is a say good morning is a get out of here � right after Schultz allowed a high only say good morning everyone, this is so low okay sorry good morning, pardon all forget, we run the gauntlet we get dressed. It used to be you could get dress and just go out now you have to try and find a way to get out before the senior because you exasperate them just because of your clothes remembering out like that. Are you for going to say.

Sometimes we exasperate our children because we do the right thing because we see them were going to church and is a family event and their exasperated passes the listening child, you're not allowed to do that. Ephesians 64 not exasperate your children, your exasperating me. You're not allowed to exasperate me when I okay now you get out of that one and only obviously the Bible is not talking about adjusting our behavior in the light of their silly response. The Bible is talking about adjusting our behavior in the light of biblical principles and biblical principles take precedence over anything else. Therefore, I have to talk about this when we walk along the road and when we lie down when we get up violently draw them out is that the Bible said we must can you turn it off well maybe in a while, but for now I think is good time to talk as well as align your bed at night. Well, I don't want you in my bed and I volunteers my bed.

I bought him lying on Jerry want to talk about knowing you have nothing to talk about. Okay let's okay what is line so I am.

Note we could spend the whole morning delineating the way in which we can exasperate our children.

I'm gonna give you a number of them both from personal experience. Sadly and from biblical principle I'm going to go through them very quickly because is not the crux of what I want to drive home this morning we exasperate our children by failing to allow them to be what they are, namely children and we illustrate that when we make irritating or unreasonable demands upon them when we fail to take into account their inexperience their immaturity. The fact that they say silly things they have silly ideas that are not particularly mature. Their brains are not fully developed, and yet you listen to these silly parents talking to their children.

Now Jonathan. The premise is this of course the sub premise is this here is my thesis and speaking and aesthetically course the synthesis is and all are trying to say is tie your shoelaces realize how irritating that is. I'm sure there was more reason than one that my mother never let me wear long pants until I was 13 years old.

Part of the reason was she wanted me never to forget that I was just a little boy and when a little boy starts to dress like a man and walk like a man and be conversed with is if you wear a man we do that, boy.

A great disservice as we do our girls when we allow the maturing to assume the role of significant young lady before they have gone through the stage of little girl your parents you have to make your own decisions. You can exasperate them by doing.

Secondly, by treating them with harshness and cruelty their heavier fragile life's we don't push our weight around were not to be guilty of physical battering we not to be guilty of verbal brutality. The danger of a kind of criticism which leaves them always guessing themselves failing to take responsibility. Unable to find where the really going because on the basis of misguided love. We have felt that it is important for us to clumsily point this out to point that out to point that out.

That's not right that's wrong change that fix this do this do that because we want to make them feel bad is because we wanted to become the best they can be, but it is misguided love and it's exasperate can I ever do enough, the child says John Newton said I know that my father love me but he didn't seem to wish me to see the early and obviously by ridiculing them in front of others, especially their peers. Fourthly, by portraying favoritism, displaying favoritism entertaining unhelpful comparisons.

Why can you be like your brother. Why can you be like her sister she so sensible you're so stupid for free by our failure to express approval even of their apparently small accomplishments sometimes were going to have to give them great approval for small accomplishments because small accomplishments is all they have not everybody's mother is right and wrong time of the minivan with 15 stickers on the back about how brilliant her kid is 20 years ago that was regarded as arrogance as an indication of how messed up we are now no mother in her right mind, 1/4 of a century ago would've driven through the middle of Solon with a gigantic sign on the back declaring my kids are brilliant. I would have been regarded as crass and it is crass. Let others praise you let others praise your kids to be sent by someone house you need to have it in neon lights on the back of the van we exasperate our children by being arbitrary, in the exercise of discipline so that they never know where they stand. They don't know whether they're going to get another not going to get it. They don't know if this is the day when they get another don't get and often that emerges from the fact that we ourselves are arbitrary in our own self discipline, so you will never learn.

I will never learn to discipline my children properly unless I learn to discipline myself and if I am arbitrary in the way I deal with sin in my own life, then it would be inevitable that I arbitrary the way I deal with in my children's lives. When my children hear godliness from my mouth and the see wickedness in my life then I point them to heaven but I lead them to hell when they hear godliness out of my mouth and the see wickedness in my life then I point them to have and I lead them to hell convicting thought about how the line consistency in our own lives can be detrimental to our children. This is Truth for Life with Alastair Bragg will hear from Alastair again.

In just a minute, so please keep listening. In the meantime you have heard me talk about a book called living well and if you have not yet requested your copy. I will remind you it's still available. Our study has been a great opportunity for us to dive into the wisdom and instruction that God gives us in the book of Proverbs. This book living well takes us even deeper into an exploration of the topics that are covered in what is a unique book of the Bible. Don't miss out on requesting your copy of the book living well today. When you make a one time gift to support the Bible teaching you hear on this program you can give through our mobile app or@truthforlife.org/donate or if it's easier, call 888-588-7884. Now here's Alastair to tell us about an opportunity taking place later this summer.

You know, I've been invited to be the Bible teacher on this Holland American cruise ship that is going to take a whole host of us up the coast of Alaska. At the end of August. I'd love for you to come along. Not just because of the beauty of the surroundings, but actually mainly because we get to be in one another's company. One of the things about doing what I do is that I talk to people that I largely never see and I'm looking forward to meeting many of you, I won't be alone. My wife will join me Laura story Michael O'Brien be leaving us in our praise and all in all I think it will be far more than justification new friends and lasting memories as we cruise up the coastline so considerate and consider yourself welcome. You can find out more about joining Alastair on this Alaskan adventure can reserve your spot you go online to deeper faith cruise.com you can call the cruise line directly at 855-565-5519 about competing thanks for joining us today. Never experience anxiety and parenting. Alastair addresses that on tomorrow's program.

We hope you can join us.

The Bible teaching of Alastair Bragg is furnished by Truth for Life with the Learning is for Living