Dealing With The Loss of a Loved One on Christmas; click here to listen

Every man his wife doesn't usually feel that way.

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We're glad that you're with you to tell you upfront work and have a different kind of radio.

I would be a way to put it in so many ways it still the masculine journey, but we are to be talking little bit different than you might hear this, this time Christmas now here we are is not too far away to spend a week away where the week away from Christmas and and so you know a lot of what you see on TV this time year is or shall the Christmas specials.

While I love the light of those in as a kid and still enjoy with my kids, but also a hallmark shows that you know everything really works out in the end that's not everybody's story. Sometimes Christmas is a really hard time here. Bought about being happy and joyous and Merry Christmas and thought it was going feel that way as Christians there's a lot to celebrate. It's that the remembrance of Christ's birthright enough, it wasn't at this time a year.

That doesn't really matter that were remembering and there's a lot to be joyful there. But what about when pain comes in your life in the midst of it because it's not always been a good year and I know that there's there's people out there that are listening people in the studio that have been through potentially marriage this year that that have has ended or the loss of a loved one apparent someone else you may have loved very very well. I know Rob and I both lost our moms this year and it's been a really it's been a hard time getting ready for Christmas as joyful as I want to be is still just been kinda hard little bit and that's really where this topic came about in order to scan the talking and thinking what we can't be the only ones really wrestle with this socialist talk about and try to see you know we can figure out to help ourselves and maybe help smother people and so I rather you say this years been a little different than past years. Is that an understatement. Now my mother and I love Christmas and and you know a lot of my memories you know of with my mother rotate around at him and so yeah come into the season.

I felt it and realize that there are some workouts that have to do to cope and and half the joy that I know the Lord wants me to have that I'm feeling now there's a better subprocess here and what a meet topic to begin the flesh out what is that process look like and how can we delve into this topic is no doubt a lot of folks are looking at that you know there's an empty place at the Christmas table absolutely not to say it's only has to do with in the loss of a loved one dying happens. Of course, but divorce or loss of relationship us a friendship that was very close to you, and I think about kids that have lost tradition, you may be that the families always been together and now they're going to be living a split Christmas in on so there's loss, there's lots loss at this time and if you're not careful to sound like you want this buck up and and pushed through it and God wants us to go through it, but he's got a journey force along the way but a story clip on here, but it's not the traditional clip you have, where it's a movie clip. We love used TV shows and movies and other there's plenty of Christmas time. There's a song that came out from Mark Schultz. I think a couple years ago as a Christian artist and the story behind it was that as he was Britt being brought into his wife's family as he was dating his wife and getting married.

He really spent his first Christmas with his father-in-law and although the father-in-law wasn't much to really say a whole lot about how he felt he was wanders and to demonstrate it, especially Christmas time and love to put things in stockings and Mark said in his for stocking the first time ever really had stocking stuffers that he had been at Vienna sausages, a flashlight and tube socks and Sify was going to go into an underground bunker would've been perfect Boy Scouts that you have stocking but as he grew in that family and hurt his wife, tell stories along the way. Stories of how every year when should leave a letter for Santos and would leave one back saying that I've been talking with your dad and he tells me how proud he is of you and these things that you've done this year and just how he loved on her in that way and so password a little bit of been married and her.

Her father dies and so they both kind of struggling with that and is Christmas was approaching him and his wife came in and told him you know Mark, we can have a different kind of Christmas this year and that's where the name of the song got its name from Angela solidify the whole song we don't normally do that. It's three minutes and 30 seconds. It is an amazing song. That's all I can really say this this listen to American talk about all I know this thing. Please see no nothing down the C is a pain. She know me and he is no man me on me and looking over my two brothers look like this hurts this year and first of all, love you, but on the fee be willing to share with folks with what's going on with you right now and where this coming from because I know this is a tremendously hard year for both Robby and Sam.

I think the were probably slightly different places in the in the process for me and I need to thank my daughter Cindy who sent me this on on Facebook and first time I watched it I currently make it through it and I went again to the show tonight into Sunday Robby and said it's can be hard to do when your swing out around other people.

Every time I listen to repairing you know it was hard in that second part of it comes in and talked about this legacy in this is Christmas my mom for Christmas every year for the last several years made each of her kids Christmas ornaments for Christmas things under the plates. You know whatever they're called because underneath the plate so I had placemats or something really cool and so going through that Christmas stuff. Was initially incredibly hard. It is this week kinda progressed in and out, and I've actually downloaded this song on my iTunes account and listen to quite a few times been able to look at the Christmas tree in and see just all the love and the legacy of love that she left through that tree or through the placemats is a call or whatever that might be in. I'm on the verge of moving towards healing in this and probably a lot healthier place than it was before we started preparing the show but it's hard. It's honestly really hard as much is I love Jesus I love the fact were celebrating his birthday doesn't it doesn't really change how much my heart hurts missing my mom for me not Mr. and only met Mr. like you would miss somebody but I didn't want to have a Christmas so trying to process that an enclosure in my thought process and what in the time I'm spending it with Jesus eager this year to find a place for that legacy in the song is immensely helpful for me to see that part of the reason that I enjoy the season. The way I do know part of the reason I have the life I have quickly Robby thank you.

Things and for this he got really just laid on my heart and I didn't originate the idea that I've seen it before. My son Eli and I made ornaments for his siblings as if he seemed not to have a picture of my mom and the metal, so shall always be with us for Christmas every year and so never you should be looking at us from the tree in able to celebrate the suspect is in the mail earlier this week and so just and in saving anybody can look forward to knowing that my mom's shining since 11 heard from her on Christmas we come back and talk about more about this topic but also losing a loved one may choose right now because they died when you do with that. And how do you handle that God really calling for you in this time of transition mescaline journey wonders if you would consider giving that man in your life. Christmas present.

He'll always treasure his heart. We have a heartless drawing coming up April 6 and want to listen to what it did for Randy.

He showed me truly hear from God.

Only $169 for five payments of $33 masculine journey radio.org man in your life something you never forget my son Eli talk about ways you can help support the smile that he was on the information that Facebook.com where we can get PO Box 552 7285 now Christmas salmon. I can't tell you how many times are mom can we please put some sometimes it's as great. Think about it if you haven't gotten your loved one something for Christmas men in your life or your order can sons over nephews over brothers parents dad still live a gift of a boot camp would be an amazing thing you know he can really go off and see what God has in store for Manoj Maeda menace difference in our lives it in many many times as we went in, seeking out a mask and journey radio.org is different payment plans. If you can afford that right now we try to break those out as much as we can help people this time year or if you are able to just purchase it all at once, but to be a great plans if it's only hundred and $69 and includes all the meals and most importantly you. Now it's time to process stuff like this with you in the Lord and to get your heart back and it you know I don't know what I do about anyone to ask you little bit before we transition the second part of this topic in several years ago we know. In talking with you last week that you lost your wife read December 7 20 years ago.

I bit along the way there's lots of things that that happen for you with you and your children and remembering her legacy a little bit at times wasn't there a lot. I got a slot and you're probably going to say what the name's sake, talk about.

I've got a start in 1941 I was in the movie and United States was ball and Pearl Hall during in the movie were within 10 years old I was saying is all everybody knows about Pearl Harbor, I guess, but that was that okay and I seen what we went on ice actually seen the movie sub film of that in the news in the movie. It is but anyway 1954 I got married.

Not a happiest time of my life was marrying this lady and she love Christmas.

I mean, she had more ornaments than Walmart. What are you doing great at what are you doing all shut up.

That's the way she was now will get back to light Christmas I was mired 44 years and she picks December 7. The high she picked out a good one needed help for a job and I'm sure she did it well and when she died on December 7.

It brought back to me miserable before he swore to me. Seeing all that killing and bombing people burning jump on the ships.

It brought that back to me which I had forgotten. She dies she dies on December 7 Christmas at that time became very, very sorrowful, many, many indicate tried to break me out of it.

I would visit them on Christmas and I see old ornaments that Rita would buy and I and I would yell out as much autumn is we had three freeze put up in a household, but we had another extra foot three more things so the kids took them all and they used him and when I would visit them on Christmas. Rita was gone naturally you remember this that you remember when she got bought this 1 AM where she put it, she had a spot for everything while they were just trying to be helpful to make dated know that you know it was killing me, but I had to play the part grandfather and all the cities young ladies and grandchildren so Christmas as a kind of hard feeling every December 7, like the specimen last week. I mean no I just stay in bed and I pray and I pray it will never go away the images of Pearl Hall. The images of my cuckoo wife buying stuff that was what I get. Now it's my kids turn and they turn around and they say that I understand what you talking about December 7.

Mom passing away as I can never understand it unless you see what actually happened. That's my story. I'm a little bit on the Donna with Christmas, but not anymore because I know God is going to pick me up and take me to a better place is coming down to save a soul amazing and she passed on her legacy 11 Christmas here kids and that was a pretty cool thing for her to have done and Dennis want to ask you about what's what things you absolutely time (and just to talk about what's missing you can do if you find yourself there. This time year what some things you can do to try to help you get to that next place along the way and we got some stuff off the Internet. There is a great website. It's at the top of the page. I can remember can't read my own writing.

You can read my writing 65 tips for coping with grief at the house like you Raffaella for glass of 64 tips you would like to go throw 64. While I think it's then he brought up a couple of things. They were talking about what is being true to yourself and true to what your feelings are.

It's okay to cry.

It's okay to feel that grief that you need to process I seen some people that will unit out do things like that will make a favorite food or they may have the ornaments up that that a mother or a loved one had I think that probably depends on where you where you are asking families. It'll sit around and it just makes it worse for them doing that and others that love to play the old Elvis all and think about how much mom loves that.

So that's probably true as well. The bigger one of the biggest things I saw on here that was self-care. I mean it's important that we take care of ourselves through this process and and make sure that were doing okay that were feeling well that were taking care of ourselves. It's so easy for folks during this time of the year with not feeling well to maybe do some things that are going to ultimately make it worse for them a lot of alcohol on food, things like that it's temporary fix, lack of sleep like a slow speed that self-care is actually you know when we're getting ready for the show. I went looking for a movie where somebody lost her mother and came across the movie the Christmas shoes and I got the clip and the clip fascinated me and I could see that part of the self-care was that I needed to sit alone in Watson's my weakest. My family already hates our crime movies they I knew this was going to be bad.

It was bad but it was also good in this movie the Christmas shoes little boys losing his mother to cancer and he goes throughout the movie trying to get the money together to buy the shoes and these collecting cans and doing all sorts of stuff but there's another older man there who's lost his mother to. Unfortunately, in order to mask the pain he pours himself in the work and he doesn't.

He's an attorney won't come out from work while the two meet in the line Christmas Eve. The boy's gonna buy the shoes he hopes and the other man has been buried in the work is standing behind him in line and this is what plays out next is 1995, reduced the five dollars and 56 did I stutter or something. Your $5.50 short look kid, you don't have enough money come back after New Year's will probably be given away his mother's literally dying coming within moments of the times were he rushed to the stored Masters waves in such a hurry to get these shoes with the other man did not realize it, he had buried himself so much of the work that his wife and volunteered for this other lady who was dying to take her place directing the musical which they've moved in front of the boys house and so this man is. It's quite a movie and in the point being that it it gave me time to enjoy my mother to spend time in that legacy and spent time processing you know what I think the Lord has for me here and how is walking with me through this time.

Absolutely. And maybe that's not where you are right at this moment. That's okay that's regards trying to take his mother things that you can do things times feel like it's okay to say no to some things just because you've always done something you've always went here Christmas or Christmas Eve or this time it's okay to take care yourself.

It is okay to take yourself and say no to something that you don't really feel like going to, maybe it's time to say yes to some other events were some other people you want to be around that bring you joy right at this moment doesn't mean it will be that way forever. Maybe that's what you need right now. Maybe it's time you can start some new traditions right it's a new new era so nothing you can lose sight of the person take time. During this time to love them and remember them and tell stories about other things in your capable of business memories. Feeling they bring love. Much they love you. That's just a present father in heaven has for these and so we just touched on this topic next to her talk more about similar topic of how to deal with depression change Christmas but this week will you have for me store if this is your story.

Take it to the father of all stories he's got a new one for you to start