Redemption Through Pain After Hours

I met my cohost Breanna Michael: I am like Mormonism to be brighter than we were told it would be doing is for discussions about our journeys in the morning to Jesus as this is the Truth Network barricade the heart and vascular journey. After our time to go deeper and be more transparent on the topic covered.

So sit back and masculine journey starts here hello are so glad you are joining us today for us to start off a little masculine journey to review to see how the team is will last contract review Sadie every week if you listen to the podcast before the after our show you here the two problems, one of which is me talking about the boot camp and the second one is Sam and his son right, so here appears. Who knows our team here or anybody listening razor have a patent actually what music is behind Sam and Eli which is Sam son actually is talking with him and that promo anybody have a guess I have the know because I mixed it okay we don't need to guess, you know, I could tell you the music behind the boot camp.

That's because it was picked up for anybody or the music behind Sam and Eli.

This is this is for you to know next time you listen to that promo just to attention. If you ever ride the ride sore and I went to Disney World. I love that music so I went home and clipped it says you feel like you're getting on the ride sore and as you listen to Andy and Sandy and Sam and Eli save any new hello there you go in.

This is just totally off topic and a complete rabbit hole but hey, I just thought you'd enjoy that right might my promo what is the song what is music there about the book and I don't know exactly the thing that is from last it is. That's the theme from last Mohicans which I cut specifically for Andy because he loves that life that that's what you do when you little brother types for some next time you listen to those you be able to know it's only good thing from that movie actually don't like any of the.

The opening scene had turned me off these guys. I don't care how good they are. They are running through the woods like that without going down. I did the movie was nothing for the book to Sam.

It was actually awesome. But meanwhile, getting back to the topic of today. Jim is is bringing family trying to give you all that pain so you'd be ready. Mrs. finding redemption through our pain right and when we left our hero Wayne actually he was describing quite a difficult situation. He had gone through and you know, even Jesus, as we know is for now share in his sufferings and we ask God to take that cup from him so he's obviously not just lining up for the pain either, but Wayne, you asked God to take the cup from you this year to yeah good. Last year, and began actually have equipment I had ideas and understanding online after you continue to get harder and harder father had to take me through that pain and that hurt the he really is my life, but that like one of things not mentioned. Like cry out, he got he can handle whatever whatever you have there in the pre-discussion about how Jesus cried out my God, and if you if you study Jewish culture.

No, never. The first one of the Quoted person after all the pain collection all you see, it was so strong that he didn't like white dotted league ignored all like that is being an and a lot of us have gone through that again you get into the park to the end of 20 changes in the hurt we live a lot of to fire burned down bedrock training all it brings. What's it for you, not by the affliction of the afflicted. Neither happy but we decried the Curtis based on the and there we lost Wayne in the midst so go read all of Psalm 22, which is the point he's making. That is in it really is a powerful Psalm, but it does point to where Jesus was raised on the couples and all of our redemption for every person listening. That is, redeemed, came through the pain he suffered, but he did it willingly, and that's where we want to try to get to tonight is that we go through the pain with God rather than trying to avoid the pain because I don't know anybody that hasn't been through painful situations that hasn't been made stronger from it and I don't know anybody attend an easy life that is shallow right you know when I personally think about the subject.

While you and I struggled with pornography and we contract and I'm sure a few times. One of the pains I did not want to go through but had everything to do with relationship was do I want to share my struggles with my wife right and that looked phenomenally painful.

I mean it it it just did.

But if I wanted to be loved for who I really am. If I wanted to have a relationship for my wife knew what she was really married to and if I was willing to lay myself out there to try to get the forgiveness I needed in order to push into the relationship, and it it it it required that so I know God told me that's what he wanted but I can think of 40 billion reasons why that shouldn't happen while interestingly he put me in a boot camp experiences actually magically Sam and Darren at the time and they they had at the will of the one and only in a joint covenant of silence that I've ever seen where we went in there and there were like now you need to to go into this covenant silence and talk and share with your spouse something you know some type of deep inner intimate detail that you've never been able to share with them before and oh my gosh I was called out right on the spot like God ordained this moment for me to do that and as as I pushed into that. You know, I just brought in intimacy with God and my wife like I could not even begin to tell anyone what it did to feel loved for who you really are and not the landmass that you been wearing and and and only have hurt her a lot and oh yeah I had to sit there and watched with the result of all my sin, you know, come down on my wife but that the thing of it is by pushing into it with God with me.

In other words, I didn't just take it on myself to go ahead and I'm not recommending this rock you know what I'm saying is, God says, go do something and and push into it with him and in the situation and oh my goodness. And it wasn't you know six months ago maybe three months ago we had another God and I had another secret that I'd never talked about my wife and I don't really have permission to share with all the people involved. Right now, but but I will tell you it was another situation like are you going to trust in this is really where it comes down are you going to trust God. Are you going to trust the person that you love.

But more importantly you trust God with the truth with with me where that really is and what's really going on and I can't going to say wow I am so thankful enough to have brothers that help me up.

Really, through these in an even never with any condemnation whatsoever.

Always just to support I didn't feel like I had, you know, a group that was watching over my shoulder saying Robby got to do this this and this. It was always just they were there. They knew the story they love me, you know, and that was a deal by selecting him a hesitant dump on adherence topic well and in the after hours were tried this gives stories that are our going to pain to redemption. The Most Poignant Way, Nandi be ready because right after me, but most poignant one in my life was about 35 years ago my wife and I married 13 years we were at that point, just angry roommates and I got a job that was a different town and I went out there got well on this, but this way I feel for a proverb seven woman and as I was headed towards the ultimate outcome that those were things have which is a euro in the liver but that read proverb set the new get that, but I was in trouble when I was just nuts for this woman.

Then it was. And that's is the best way to put it. But God know it wasn't as hard as well long after the fact that I was we were headed towards the act and I got an inkling from God.

I wasn't really listening to them at that time that the only thing I have left in my marriage was physical fidelity that part fidelity. I got out the window so I went home and I told my what wife I wanted separation.

She heard horse that was probably more accurate is I did bad things, and I was expecting when I said that to her that I wanted to leave. I was going to get a good riddance you jerk that I was I was in the wrong. But she started crying and that that broke my heart saying you know that she still cared and she said, trying to make a long story shorter, that she had looked forward to this move is a new start and that's what God gave us and we had been that they were both believers that much carnal Christians at that point I went to church just to saying to them of something she didn't go because it's presbyterian and she was Baptist. We moved together.

There that my desire for the other with woman quickly went away because I found out what kind of woman she was very quickly and I can focus on God and my wife and I would be sitting here today if it hadn't been for that extremely painful process and that was one of those self-inflicted wounds, but it doesn't really matter because God's good a user pain, whether it's caused by someone else. Whether it's caused by yourself, whether it is a seemingly random event. He will put pain in your life to draw you to it. If that's what it takes. Danny so is hard to follow Jim coming this to hear the guys stories I've heard him before but here again. He just realizes since the guys heart date the payment they went through their family and then to see the redemption of the use of God that uses that in and everybody here that my story you know I tried out I used my this story a lot. It's it's basically how I ended up in the masculine in and I don't want to just repeated the same way and always have always shared that her probably come across similar to that but really it was I was probably 10 years ago and I and a nice family and and was somewhat fulfilled Borden and God saw that it might harden and there's some things that happened to where you know we got hooked up with the home church and I really thought that there was life there and then that fell apart real quick quickly and them innocent. Soon thereafter memo I separated and I knew that there was always something that you know that was kind of missing out.

And I cannot delve into that and started learning more about the masculine heart, but the pain that that brought on it was devastating and I didn't realize at I think we take our families for granted sometimes until the you know it. In jeopardy, and certainly was during that time, you probably the first 5 to 7 years. You know I wasn't happy about the pain whatsoever. I knew that I was growing I knew that I was learning God was using that time and it was redeemable time I felt, like it was that wasted time there many times I thought this wasted my life because the world tells us that the only thing he way we can really receive life is to be in relationship with somebody or have some human connection. And that's a big part of it. If you get that out of order you make a relationship or a family, a person, your God, then you that's upside down.

I think I had done that someone so in God's mercy.

I mean, he saw where I was at and he thought at times he tested take us through some kind of a Valley some some something painful so that will look up and and I really did.

And through that process through that time you not just I have to say I mean I've heard other people say things it people would say were bad. My mom had cancer, she said, was one of the better things that ever happened to her because it taught her to really rely on God and I really think God for this am still separated and why. Have a good relationship, but with that being said, there I would not be the man I am today without when I know that and and induce it breaks me off sometimes is to realize how far Kim because I was a really an unfinished man.

I have these brothers that I learned from. I have God teaching me on a daily basis and it truly is the redemption out of the pain and I just appraising Ford. I think that I would know that I wouldn't said this in the beginning.

Obviously you don't know what you don't know, but starting down that path. I didn't want this. And most people resist pain because that's just in our body repels that mean nobody likes it whenever he sprained ankle coming is not pleasant. Why would I like it in my relationships anything for me and hope that I can articulate what I'm trying to say on you not look back over relationships with females that had over the years being married twice. Having girlfriend and things like that and there's a couple patterns that emerge in one of them being and that's what it's on wasted time almost moves me to tears. A lot of times I felt like there were times that I lived in that cycle.

I got a lot of good things of the rush of great kids you know those things would never trade any of that right. But what I've come to realize you moving from being married and then going at some point in the online dating was the I didn't like me very well because I believe a lot of the things that the enemy throughout me about my identity in and on my woundedness and and that's who I was and I was a molested kid that you had issues.

I was get a phone speaking apparently my guy and I was pornography at AK was this, I was saddened.

I did like myself and so I looked to the women to give me identity right and there was no rest there. There was no peace there. In their third times I was married. It was a great, great part of my life I'm to sing holistically. I was looking for the answers that they couldn't give me the God had to give me and so you and I haven't really dated much in a while. Now little bit here and there, but I haven't really wanted to. Not that I don't want a deep intimate relationship and to be married again at some point and I do want that but I'm finding in the meantime is redemption through God that is helping me. Like me is helping me walk more intimately with him and helping me rely on him in ways I never have, you know.

And those things are really, really painful to go through that. I'm grateful to have gone through them because then it allows me to have perspective now that I didn't have you know and I can walk this sounds arrogant, but there stays a discogram, happy with me right now and that's not a normal thing for my life over many many decades but has been for a while now and every day. But most days you know that I can be happy at me, I'm happy with my relationship with God and you know I I'm entering into an in ways I never have likes entrusting him in ways never have known it. I think that there's a lot more fruit to be had and and when that time does come, I'll be more ready to do it in a healthy place right and not asking from them to be the good to give to have her that that female is it is interesting you talked earlier on the show illusion.

My father-in-law and with death comes pain there some family dynamics going on right now that I will get into the but I think God is trying to unpack in my life is that there's a difference between a true honest open authentic relationship and positional affection that I have positional affection for some folks just because of who they are level but there is no relationship and there's a huge difference in that and that does beat come painful at times because you obviously wonder why you feel about you. What do you feel about the human and that you look for Sam's that it will that affirmation in relationships and it can't come from there. It has to come from my heavenly father and there is no other place to get an he just keeps peeling away layers and pillowy layers in and so it is interesting to see what we unpacked so heard a lot of discussion about what has been these guys have gone through all I'm in the middle of that right now.

My situation is my wife and I are basically growing apart. Right now it we have tried all kinds of things to reconcile and you know grow back together seeing counselors and other things and it's his. It's painful but it's not working out and it is very sad. It's hard to take. I don't know if this if this finding going through this, you know. 20 years ago I was not walking with God.

I don't want to be doing.

I pride these now okay I'm out to get mine and that's not where my heart is I my heart is not out to get mine. My heart set really need to take care of my wife's heart.

The best I can. Best liability even though that the relationship is very strained and if it wasn't for God. I know I know my heart.

I would not be there because it hurt.

I have those thoughts of oh yeah, I got even with you and I have those thoughts, but it is kind, I can quickly counted – them away and put them away right now. It's something that helps my sanity. At this point in time keeps me from getting depressed, as was the memo first went to counseling, cash it had to be on if it's been 20 years ago, but maybe 15 years ago, at least in the counselor wants to talk to me alone in her alone before we initiated this couples counseling now is like asking these questions so have you ever yell but about committing suicide.

Yeah. Oh, really, how often will attend who doesn't think about that and out to me that was just ordinary who doesn't do that all the time and he's like stops. Amanda says yes you do have depression need that is that is that is a huge sign on the site. I've never been depressed yet… Prescott well understanding that an understanding where you're at your knees things you it's where I owe my gosh. That's why I am like this in my relationship with my wife and why I act certain ways that I do and it's it's very painful to know the pain that I have caused someone I love and if it wasn't for the forgiveness that I've been received in no that I have any chance of even trying to forgive myself and I have no it's much easier. Forgive my wife but trying to forgive myself for what I have done is also very hard thing to do with. That's why I'm walking right now and quite honestly I wouldn't say these award but again, back to the word content site okay this is cards I've been dealt by God and he could still redeem things thoughts, where I met some okay you did the one the composer rabbit out of a hat, not me. Also talk about rabbit trails that that's where I'm that's why Matt on the board during your the one leading this you're getting this year and I'm praying heavily and got family members praying so you know it's like walk with him. Rodney just stay with him.

Stay with Jesus Eisen, ears and everything else on Jesus and just you know then it's like, okay, where is your wife's heart just kind of make sure that you're taking the best care that you can access on with intermediate redeemed soon as you look to the 16 Psalm. I do, for a lot of things because it to supply so much here that this is a come down in the Psalm where were favorites.

Can I bring in for landing. He says I have placed the Lord always before me because he's at my right hand I will not be shaken. Therefore, I my heart is glad my glory rejoices in my flesh rests in a secure place man now yes it just that, so that's a mouthful) and and and I couldn't think of a better prayer to pray pray all the time like I will place the Lord always before me because it is right hand. I will not be shaken and if we can get there right through the pain is at the end of that Psalms. You get to the bottom of it says right you show me the path of life in your presence is fullness of joy at your right hand are pleasures for evermore. Jim had to fix and use the word content all about her statement shows to be limping that choice. If you are depending again so outthink your Philistine lately. Can't tell you how much we appreciate it we appreciate.

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