Forgiveness After Hours

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This is the Truth Network coming to an infringement barricade in the heart of a letter masculine journey after hours time to be more transparent on the topic covered. So sit back and visit venture. Masculine journey after-hours starts here now. Welcome masculine journey after-hours. We are glad to be back with you live mostly live in the studio you will be here to some podcast so it's almost life is removed.

But now we've had a couple weeks of the best of shows we played out of studio for the last couple weeks but were back were glad to be with you and I'd be back as a group. Jim you want to tell us a little bit about a topic that were talked about in the last show will continuing the after-hours and is life for us is for us and we are talking about forgiveness and the first part of a large part of that is looking at the different places. Forgiveness comes from and goes to need forgiveness from God.

Sometimes we need to forgive God we have forgiveness between one another, which is the toughest one, and certainly the most common and then maybe the toughest one of all is forgiving ourselves, and we say forgiving when I'm playing God needs our forgiveness, implying that we've cast off on him right that we consider to be his fault.

Well, I now do a quick story on one of the most impressive times I've ever heard God's voice was left.

This was six or seven years after my father died, Val's boot camp and Colorado and I went to the closet to talk about that. My father wounds that I had a wonderful father have struggled with coming up with any and about the time I stepped into the closet literally.

I heard from God and very audible voice. That's why are you angry with us and I immediately knew what he meant asthmatic God for dying three weeks before my daughter was you that that what I said he's a God, oh Shirley, I like you don't hold that one of three weeks after my father is on earth died. My daughter was married and they I'd pray before that I thought I was okay with it because I situation where I was watching people die miserably. He died suddenly, and that's what I prayed for.

This was like three weeks later, but I didn't want it to happen that soon and that God made it very clear that I was living in anger at both of them and the weight that came off my shoulder and that closet that I then came out was I had to do that to somebody else would. But it was his wonderful and free to forgive God and my father for him checking out when he did it because you have a story for us. We've heard from you tonight. So it is what make sure you're still there. I had a funny incident. At least it was funny to me about 13 years ago, a wife came down with the pneumonia pleurisy in a staff infection so we were over at Forsyth Hospital and no so her regular doctor was off that weekend and a substitute doctor came in and like come in and tell me that she's got Mercer well I made mistake of getting home that evening and jump in on the Internet and if you got Mercer and lung infection you have a distance so I get back down Saturday morning.

I'm sitting there all day. Well I can't tell my sweetheart that Sunday rolls around the arm there all day and on into the night Monday. Her regular doctor comes in as he comes in he's starts picking up that protective apron and stuff and he stops midstride and he said what's this I said they told us that she has Mercer. He jumped down in the chair and flip through some paperwork and stuff. He said she doesn't have Mercer so off goes the way well that evening. This tiny little sweet nurse comes in very sheepishly and she's just all abashed because she had misinterpreted the lab report, which said it was methicillin sensitive and she misinterpreted it so my wife did not have Mercer so I'm standing there an app I put on this real stern face. I look at her and I'm short but she's, she's, you know a good bit shorter than me and us a will are some very important that I need to say to you, and she just turned another shade of light in her eyes open wide and I looked right square.

I said are you willing to be forgiven and it was like I could see that behind your eyeballs. I can see the brain turning and she looks up and says yes.

So I reached over and gave her a hug messenger forgiven so that that's my funny story about forgiveness but also with this covert stuff and what we had to go through with being isolated from one another and everything it brings up to me that we don't need to take the easy way out and say I forgive that person because if they don't know it is worthless. You gotta go like Danny was talking about. You gotta get nose to nose with them and let them know that you're forgiven if it's for them or that you're asking to be forgiven if it's your fault so that's sort of my thoughts on forgiveness. I don't disagree totally going and says what is awkward got a knack in some situations may not be safe you know if you if you have a battered wife you and wanted to go confront concerning that has been got McCarter forgiven a different way. But I agree with him have a deposit whenever possible. That's definitely the way you need to do it because it's about them in. How was thinking. Don't be a coward like me can text or email request.

Forgive me for this contact is better than not doing it all. I guess marginally anywhere USA summary display microphone over case. Ask yourself yet because you're like loaded timeout forgiving God is aimed daughter that was taken away from me that I got back. When she turned 16.

She also did like our our church rules.

She didn't like our Sheila evening. I don't think what so she works out you'll see she's going to live with her mother and I am just leaving this and I'm thinking, here we go all over again and what it revealed in the story was that I was angry at God. It wasn't just my wow angry at God and I go out on the deck and I'm praying through this thing and I'm gonna like GM.

It wasn't totally alterable. I don't think but what he said was going go in there and bless her, not a southern blessing, so please other guys. You is your heart, but so I go in there. My mindset is I'm going in there and I will bless her, and she's going to stay in everything's gonna be wonderful so I go in there and now blessed are we to Europe. We she finished packing and her mom shows up as you go to mom anyway. I go back out on the deck. Okay begotten and I don't recommend you do this, but we're having a conversation got dynamite and what he says what he says you quote the Scripture all the time. He who has begun a good work in me will complete to the end.

He said you believe that in your own life, but you don't trust me with her and it just struck everything you mean I don't trust so I had to let her go and also had to learn to trust human goals. Fast-forward her mom put her in a Christian high school, which was all because of funny at the time when she graduated she got to say a few words and she thanked her mom for Denton and she turned and she looked and we were sent home opposite sides of the auditorium and she turns and looks at me and says dad, thank you for telling the truth when no one else would end at Presbyterian Hospital about cut a Pentecostal fit because I knew God had spoken.

Johnson is also bonus of having a teenage girl with her mother and not with you. Amen. I wife and daughter are both wonderful people, not when they were together during the trip from puberty tell leaving home.

There's a fear's a little sketchy getting out of player. Another clip cannot coffee God taught me a lot in this clip he taught me first-line very judgmental, which he continually has to teach me. Apparently, as I did a search and no YouTube for forgiveness and to see what clips popped open and one of them said there's a Dolph Lundgren Ted talk on forgiveness like really suffering and the guy that played in Rocky for you played the Russian guy and I obviously can be very bright and I mean IEEE just look at the guy you really can't be right is big and I'm in all these things with all these thoughts come to mind, and they picked him for a Ted talk. Then I watched the news and amazing tent.

Talk.

It was about forgiveness and I learned his story. Learn more of his story that he actually was very very bright and got a scholarship to MIT and engineering. It ended up finishing their but he got accepted there and was bright enough to be there. He just chose acting and when in a different direction.

Well, when you hear something his story, which relisten to her in a second small version of it what you don't hear and there is a couple people he ends up forgetting what to talk about afterwards, but also the depth of his life, went to because of some of the stuff that happened to him and his lack of being able to forgive it lead them into some situations with bad choices with intimacy issues with his first wife and losing his family. Those types of things and in seeing the pattern repeated until he got some help for insulin, a good listener that will come back and talk about. I think I remember the first time my dad hit me was about three or four I think and he was walking from the TV and he kicked me and I flew into some bookshelves and members blog and my mom screaming see my dad had low problems and he took it out on me. My mom never touch my brothers and sisters in this started when I was about three or four went on to that was about 11 or 12.

It was really hard part of my life because I have to go to school with a black eye and also my hair was missing leaving yanking my head. I think some of you may know what I'm talking about understanding feeling you see when you get abused at home after choices like an animal fight or flight if either runaway, which was impossible for me because I was a little kid living at home.

We can fight back, which according to Chris and I was his little kid, my dad was my size and later there is 1/3 choice you freeze just freezing go dead. All the emotions of bottled up inside. I was later there he was hitting me. I would even cry to make a long story short, I took up therapy three years ago and it totally changed my life. Suddenly this fall I was living and lifted the therapy. We go back in time to read really your experiences, cry screen, roll up in a little ball he hit the couch with a baseball bat to anything I do to start attack this party's frozen part of me that was running my life and slowly started to become smaller and smaller practice of see my life come back to me that you have to come to terms with yourself after yourselves you can appreciate those things and others. I think if you take time to look inside and find a little boy the little girl inside yourself then treat them well.

The ready to look see little boy little girl. Next you dummies because if you do that, it's just the greatest feeling like so upset Ted talk and then felt about an inch tall like I was had to even try to look up his contact information forgiving for me in some judgmental give asking for his forgiveness for me being so judgmental, but there was a lot in that and what I didn't get in that part of the clip is where he did go back through therapy and forgive his his dad. I don't think ever had a relationship again as he talked about he would forgive him at a distance. Anything any forgive his mom's mom is right there when was happening as well and in protecting the nursing things there that in his heart he needed to forgive her for with the biggest breakthrough that he had was a forgiveness of himself that often. Often happens when you're in an abuse situation you take on like somehow it's your fault Ray and Jimmy will you talk better. Sometimes the hardest person to forgive is yourself and that was my story and it was through some counseling that I got with her right local counselor Kim to help me to walk back into some areas. As a little boy and actually asked that little boy for forgiveness my own self for forgiveness for how I've treated him in my outlook of him in the past of how I viewed myself as a kid and how I held myself responsible for things were my fault right but my struggle with pornography. My struggle with trust issues and relationship that could ever even start to get better until this piece got out of the way because I didn't even I didn't know they were connected. I didn't know I was doing it. It was a big part of, I had to forgive myself and Artie forgiven the personhood abuse me that part. In retrospect, was easy compared to forgiving myself for something I didn't need to forgive myself something for right and solicitous story does remind me of how powerful that is and how therapy is such a great asset in got completed a great therapist will help you walk your way back into some of those things and move past them with true healing and forgiveness and move move into a healthier place in life, so that will allow also in a little humor and I think Robby would agree with me on this. We big guys are better brilliant, are used. Being prejudged as being the big were okay with that in your forgiven because it is very nice sometimes to have people underestimate you. I would say they are.

I have to ask for your forgiveness. Later I saw this big rod he would ask you little bit about the first part of that, the forgiveness from God's you write so how does that play in forgiveness is something that is not a Christian or non-Christian thing I forgiveness is a choice in their good therapist that are necessary Christian therapist to lead people to some healing but to have experience forgiveness in your life, which in a much different place doesn't yes that's were talk about before the show was, it does fall under some common grace we get we get the world and beauty of the world we get logged we get so many other wonderful things from God that we all share in secular world are Christian and that's one of things I can imagine the same about counseling some of the people that are hardest to get the counseling are Christians because it's like were admitting something that God can't do something, I gotta go someday will work through us right to others in the will bring people in your life that can help you in its is not a shameful thing to go get help. So God working through an bringing in healing into your life is about a lot giving and getting forgiveness and what we should be doing is looking for those areas in our lives. I love what Danny was talking about with the yellow steps 15 and making a list of okay this is exactly who they are and then Harold reiterated yes get in the face and talk to people if you can.

When it's appropriate and in your take on making sure that were praying through at worship we we going out what words would be using a how are we to approach different people because each person has her own different areas and you're going to be a different place now.

Two years ago to where you are today and where you gonna be another two years. It's constantly changing and you definitely walk with God getting help from a therapist and being you know trying to get help away from God as one placed you can go get some help, but the lasting love and the intimacy with Jesus is something that goes for some people, beyond description. You know, because are so in ways we describe it was saying it over and over. Then there is evidence our lives and things of this nature. But when you feel the warmth and the love and the forgiveness of Christ and you know what he did for you on the cross that brings another level of joy to your life and you want your forgiveness. Speak to me, becomes even deeper and more meaningful because you know you can't just cheapen it by just saying oh I forgive you.

Going on and never meaning at all sites on the things you really start to climb in bed with Jesus and get in his lap and you know your very relationship your close you're not at a distance anymore and it's always about becoming closer and closer and we were the ones always want to shut away now when you talk about that forgiveness that you're given from God that you feel right. It it humbles you. It takes away that pride in it for me a lot of times asking for forgiveness. If I really get down to it, it's probably an issue of pride one I'm afraid of the reaction is daily, you can talk about the number 357 or whatever, maybe right, but then there's also some level of pride. I think that has to be humbled free to go and be able to approach the people there is for me in every time I turn I really pray and I look at that ice ice you can see the price will show it to its is there. It's like how could I have ever missed it so obvious as the very presence of it is is that he has made stakes in forgiveness and there are times when I don't feel forgiving are times when I don't feel saved but is not about the feeling this amount. What is been done across what is been done and whether or not a person forgives you, you talked about earlier. Sam is really irrelevant in the process.

Most of it.

It does work out.

Lots of times, but there are times when it doesn't. But the reality is is that like in the clip I was able leg over his throat and being able let go of your anger toward God, or toward evening goals. It ultimately is up with whether or not and he details Mac pretty plainly isn't that you're not able to is that you won't and is about our won't and it it it does it erodes everything inside you is what I was talking earlier about my sister. We got waking up and asked me to forgive her. I didn't mechanic play that short a little bit scattered asked me to forgive her know Mike, I'm you know what she's done to me.

Why would I want to forgive her and why would I why would I want to do when I want to pray for her.

He was not. I'm sorry I didn't say that right is coming to pray for Mike. You know she's done to me. Why would I prefer. Why would he do any disabling.

Pray for you. Nine. I would go back to sleep and wake up a couple hours later. This went on for a couple nights until I finally gave in and it was about my heart I knew calling her was not an option. She had some mental issues and that would not of went well.

She had some medically confirmed mental issues. This in on it wouldn't of went well and there was not an option to have that in a bit. Whether that's a person can't physically talk to her God's calling you to forgive somebody in the past. It's no longer live. Please call me to forgive my dad on some things in my my mom on some things in a great mom, you know it's still there were times that you bring these points reset. I need you to forgive. Here it was always about my heart and a lot of times that other person is impacted and that's an amazing thing, but I'm telling you most the time God's after your heart rate it it's it's about you it's about making you whole and healthy in at a place where you feel good about yourself the gift were Dolph Lundgren talks about loving yourself truly not something I had not over loving and like we have many in society today to just love themselves and that with any thing else).

This is true love for yourself because I love my neighbors will I like who I am as a person and I like who I am is apparently cream his own anger and know who you are in Christ and you have your identity in him and and that's what he's after this whole thing forgiveness so that's whether somebody on Facebook at somebody in a social post whether somebody intimately in your life is still calling you to forgive yeah and that's where one of the counselors.

That's a pastor that came to talk at our church. I really try to use it to help self counsel myself is EEE uses this only comes in with I got this problem. Whatever is like okay will. What do you feel, and then make talk and discuss okay that's what you're feeling.

I gotcha gotcha okay okay what what is it that you cash back my go to the last update what you feel, what you think then it's okay this is what you think about it okay is what you're thinking and then what do you know so what is it that you know that God says about you and when you can go there and start to understand what you know get back to Scripture and what God says about you.

You can live with yourself so much better and up. Try to use that will be okay. I feel a certain way and I think certain things but what do I know. And that helps me get around a lot. I guess that the route I'd ask you what has holding onto unforgiveness done for nothing good exactly. Name one positive the things that that just sort of came and I think most of the blisters may be Artie made this connection, but interchange the words love and forgiveness biblically and in your life that the real source of forgiveness needs to be love. God's forgiveness for us came through his love for us and it's unconditional close is forgiveness and were not capable of that. But Jesus talked about 12.

He loved the people. Love you big deal.

He forgive the people that give you big deal if you can get to the point of loving someone enough to forgive them even know what they've done is unforgivable. That's being Christlike in Indiana.

You didn't get a talk I moves the show but you're talking earlier about that the Scripture in Matthew where he talks about you know the guys forgive and a whole lot of that and he won't go out and forgive the evidence was great evening Scripture and I want to make sure I gave you the credit for that direct the Scripture into it's great to read that Matthew that that's the forgiveness that we sometimes don't have right having we get a great forgiveness from someone else and then we won't forget this little minor thing you and got to know that's not good.

That's what Jesus was saying is that's that's not good right those little things count the big things count that ask you to just spend this time this week is praying to God. Maybe make the list together.

Who are you calling me to forgive this week and I love you to go register for the boot camp coming up in April asking 30.org this is the Truth Network