Sex Mystery, Part 2

Today on Summit life with Judy Greer what such guards outside of the context of all the wealthy becomes a curse to become something that destroys your ability to relate to covenant and to have a stealthy function in such a relationship, and unfortunately some of you know exactly what. As always, I'm your host Molly benefits. Today's culture tends to paint sexual expression as a matter of personal choice and simply physical activity.

These magazines and music.

We are encouraged to follow any path that leads to pleasure. The poll shows us in Ephesians chapter 5. That marriage is a divine mystery that points to something higher, and deeper, and that is Christ and the church. As always, if you missed any of our programs or if you're in the search for our featured monthly resource you can find it all online@jdgreer.com or by calling us at 866-335-5220 today.

Pastor Jenny concludes our teaching series called first left with a message titled sex history also is fully from sexual immorality because every of us that a person commits is outside his body for the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. When you send somebody else you do damage to them.

If I can walk in the room and I will point you in the face of your eyes wide, but I'm not really hurt by him a little bit more that I guess you Lisa. Sexual immorality is different because you are actually taking a razor to your own soul. When you commit sexual immorality. And I know that you may have a hard time believing Absalom to spend a few minutes front of Jada from the flesh about a little bit last year I reviewed a book called Holt is not a Christian book, but it is a scientific study written by a couple of urologist who were trying to show scientifically what having multiple sexual partners, especially when you're young. Does your break what they show in this book is that sexual multiple sexual partners actually rewires your brain in a way they say that makes genuine, lasting, selfless relationships much more difficult. They say, and I quote the individual who goes from sex partner to such partner is causing his or her brain to mold in such a way that eventually accepts that sexual pattern is normal. The pattern of changing sex partners therefore seems to damage their ability to bind in a committed relationship, but kind of attachment damage that occurs after repeated sexual encounters is in many respects, more pernicious, more damaging than pregnancy or STDs because it typically goes unperceived by affected individuals, while causing ongoing difficulties in establishing a lifelong and satisfying relationship. The authors use the metaphor of tape which you have probably heard that the idea that if you take a piece of duct tape you put it around my arm. When you rip a piece of duct tape off you would take with pieces of payer and pieces of mylar right but didn't you take a safety statement wrap around somebody else's when you do it.

It would still hurt them, but not quite as badly hurt me. You get 10, 20, 30 times the time you get the 30th time that that Tate has lost every bit of its cohesive power.

They said that's similar to what's happening when you have repeated sexual encounters is that it's losing your ability to actually bond with your soul in a committed self relationship with somebody else. The same is true they say for pornography or for auto eroticism was a score that what you're doing is you're separating that part of you and the rest of you, and what's happening is it's actually damaging the ability of your soul to commit and have a normal healthy sexual relationship not a secure sites that let me give it to you from from a different perspective from the perspective of a pastor Tim Keller mean the marriage which I would highly recommend that you didn't read. I tried to reword this among words and I just couldn't do it is like there's no active say no as well. So then I thought about the street plagiarizing it and not tell you where it but then I am so guilty about that.

So it will be read to see you as often. It's only about six chapters not getting consistent just a few a few I'm here to listen. If sex is a method that God invented to do whole life entrustment.

It should not surprise us that sex makes us feel deeply connected to the other person even when it's used wrongly unless you deliberately disable it, or through repeated practice. You numb.

The original impulses of sex sex will make you feel personally interwoven and joined to another human being as you are literally physically joint in the midst of sexual passion, you naturally want to say extravagant things like I will always love you. But even if you're not legally married, you may find yourself quickly feeling marriage like ties viewing the other person's obligations to you.

But of course that person has no legal, social, or moral responsibility even to call you back in the morning. This incongruity leads to jealousy and hurt feelings and obsessiveness.

If two people are having sex but are not married.

It makes breaking up vastly harder than it should be. It leads many people stay trapped in relationships that are not good because the feeling of Saul having somehow connected themselves.

By the way, the margin of my book I wrote, this is the plot line of every episode of friends I have ever seen in my life. Therefore, if you have sex outside of marriage. You will have to steal yourself get sexist power to soften your heart toward another person to make you more trustee. The problem is that eventually sex will lose its covenant making power for you. Even if one day you do get married ironically been sex outside of marriage eventually works backwards, making you less able to commit to and trust another person know what is essentially done. Is it exactly thing a scientific study to show you that what sex guys outside of the context of all the things God intended for. Instead of being a blessing for becomes a curse to become something that destroys your ability to relate and to covenant and to have a filthy file functioning such relationship and unfortunately some of you know exactly what I'm talking about because the reason your relationship with your spouse right now so dysfunctional sexually probably goes back to be immorality to both of you brought into the marriage not want to say something before you get overwhelmed and that is the power of God's grace is amazing because the blood of Jesus not only washes away the guilt and stain of your sin. When God say this.

He also raised Jesus from the dead, which means that God is able to take the parts of you that sin has killed the parts of you that you have killed and send against yourself. They could take that and he can raise that from the dead, and he can make it more alive than it was when he created it � is the beautiful power of God's grace. So if you are someone who has been sexually damaged.

It is my delight to be able to tell you that you should run to the cross because that's what God does his best work if he takes dead bodies and brings them back to life and that's what God can do to your sexual passes what he can do you we can give you the ability become new again, but what I'm doing all this for the reason I went through all that is for those of you who have not yet made those mistakes but are on the brink of it and I'm just trying to show you what you ought to obey God. It's more than just God said so because document was an arbitrary rule because he was a bad mood.

One day God gave you rules because they are life. This is not an idle word. Deuteronomy 32 seven. It is your life you're going to get. I hardly think it's going to hurt a lot a lot of students and when we wait to have sex because they're afraid to miss out on something God tells you to wait to have sex precisely so you won't miss out on something. A lot of young adults believe the colossally stupid idea even ever express it again. I believe it well.

I want to practice it a few times) that I don't want to go to the marriage. I like you would not know and I will work and everything so I got going on, want to embarrass myself a little stupid little tip for Michael JD look stupid look stupid even if you think it looks stupid because it is not skill is not sexual skill that actually produces intimacy in a relationship.

It is exclusivity.

And so, if you will go into that night with the assurance that I am yours forever, and this is the only place in the only time they were going to experience this is with you that will produce an exclusivity to join your marriage that no kind of sexual skill ever could. It's not like a sport is usually good at it and then you know that you got all but you are awesome you get an award on it yet. That's not how it works. It is something that God intended to be something of a much larger, much larger whole.

Which leads me to number three. Sex is service sector service in Ephesians 5, Paul tells us to submit to one another. Paul tells us to lay down our lives for one another. Paul tells us to serve each other.

There is the question what does that look like sexually, but these are commands. Paul gave the husband and wife want to look like when you apply that to the bedroom that you a job. These questions that I just think about B's over the week okay answer them.

It probably will lead you somewhere fun. Okay for Mary. What is it mean to submit to each other sexually simulate. I know I said what to me to serve each other with me to wash each other's feet sexually Prozac you can answer that question for you right so I told you hold your finger first Corinthians, look there again for scrimmage ever. Seven verse 31 River from from chapter 6 both think the same concept just about the genetics but flush valve it 73. The husband to give his wife her conjugal rights and likewise the wife to her husband for life does not have authority over her own body.

The husband does, likewise the husband and as I have authority over his own body.

Wife ties in the marriage. Paul says literally, your body belongs to your spouse, at least in the sense I told you that when you apply this before it is it unique guys walking through the supermarket.

He pitches his wife herein in his life is like stop. I don't have my rent. He's got a verse he says that's not your Marin. That's my rear end and I will fix it if I want to I girl in Mary's sister guy. I don't want to have sex yet. I want to feel around for a while because of why body is ready.

You know she's like that's not your body with my body and this is what I want to do it and she says I want to snuggle the fastest knuckle come on, let's just have sex and what SportsCenter better yet let's have sex while we watch for sex and she says nope that is my body and I want to snuggle with.

You gotta submit to me. Ephesians 521. I got a verse in marriage.

I am to consider my body to be under the authority of my spouse's sexual desires what is that look like I can tell you that would mean that sex is not a reward for your spouse when they've earned it or is not a tool to manipulate your spouse so girl says when you deserve it exactly exactly that is not a reward that you give. After they have earned it. That is a gift that you give him grace. In fact, when you are are serving your husband or your wife that way when you don't feel like it. You're actually just reenacting the gospel. If God only responded to your prayers when you earned it. You would never guessing what I'm answering to what you are doing is you are reenacting the gospel, God intentionally had you marry a disappointing jerk. So you would learn to love like you are teaching in just a moment but first let me tell you about our latest resource created next lucidly for arsenic like listeners 15 day devotional on relationships and rest called devotions for the distracted family better time to commit to daily study and reading of God's word. As with all her resources.

This is exclusive to arsenic my family so you want to contact us right away. This study and the accompanying conversation cards are perfect for using with friends and family. Reserve your copy today by calling 866-335-5220 or visit us online@jdgreer.com. Thanks for being with us today. Now let's get back to the final moment of our teaching series titled first live. Once again, here's Pastor Jim way if I hear what he says will they just want to do a lot more than I do traditionally think of men being in this category want to do it more than than than their wives. But that's not always true. I'm not say I play marriages I know were to exactly the opposite right so this is what you do in that situation what means you quit thinking about what you feel like you start thinking I'm going to give this is a gift to them.

Now if your spouse wants to do a lesson you want the ways you can serve them is by taking that into account. Sex as servicemen.

Sex is a gift that you give to one another metastable week. My wife and I would rock and I got married. This was very difficult for us with a lot of different problems in our relationship, but like many couples that seem to be a place where a lot of it came to the forefront national wife. She would come up you're not, you talk about this to me. She said not on your life, but she said but you know those all this pressure is.

It was like you gotta perform. Gotta perform and if she did have a good experience in it. Then she was frustrated because she thought of failure and then you know then there's like then there's the judging of like we don't deserve this and not doing this for me. You think about my need to members on the other side of think about the same thing just becomes this like toxic things you want to touch with his explosive right.

It was a couple concepts and totally change them were still learning. I want to miss this idea that that it's a gift is something that I'm giving to my spouse's way of serving them to the gospel irony in that. When you begin to serve somebody you begin to put their interest in their needs above your own what you find is that yours and up being met along the way. It is beautiful and the other thing sex as covenant renewal, what sex is, is it's literally renewing the covenant you made when you were married because because of that will better way to do it. Here's all I'm giving all of me to you when the Old Testament gotta make a covenant he would follow it up several times they renew the covenant. That's what's happening in sectors you are renewing the covenant that you made when you stated your bowels on your wedding day.

So how did that help things one it separated just the physical pleasure from the act of sexual a lot more than that and it took the pressure off of evaluating it by whether we were successful by whether or not that physical pleasure then worked whether not she got pregnant. If that's what we're trying to do in December we do is run renewing the covenant to one another.

Those things changed our sexual relationship and things are so much better for as you have a servant attitude during sex.

Verse five. Quickly this for 27 five know the problem. Another brakes ever has my agreement for limited times you may devote yourselves to prayer, but then come together again to the site may not tempt you because of your lack self-control. People deprive each other if you do, it should only be for a short time and a lot of a lot of prayer involved but no enemy girls when he comes in the bedroom you have done your knees are doing a quiet time I at the misapplication of verse you like what okay what is all this me the simplest explanation of that verse is that if you're married, you should have sex often juggle how often is often I don't know, but enough to qualify as often goes like this is the best sermon I've ever heard in my life. Maybe restaurant. What is my spouse wants to have sex for whatever reason I can't handle it right now you have encouraged Ford the 24 hour rule that is to say no say yes within 24 hours.

Beyond that, I would say that your depriving your violation for screen is seven and you probably incident number one. They just won't do it just won't do it. They had a headache that's less than 7 1/2 year to me what little I do then the patient that's all you can serve, then you can be patient with them by forgiving them and yelling them between the gotta lead them to God is a certain limit. You can obey Scripture for your spouse and you can't hold over their head so you told your other points of his relationship with her not doing their part.

You have between them and God. But I will tell you this if it produces in you rage and anger and bitterness and hatred that's not your spouse's issue that your issue that's why back and listen to sermon before the series whenever those emotions are producing you they don't want to broaden your spouse a point or problem in you a problem of idolatry and so you need to take that to the cross need to have that dealt with because you should be able to be a happy fulfilled person, whether or not you have sex and when something is so poor to who you are that you cannot. That means there's a problem going on in you. If you are a couple like that because in your sexual life is very infrequent and fraught with difficulty. My need to get some counseling. Sex is symbolic sex is sacred and sexist service. If you're single limit give a quick word to you and perhaps the biggest key to a happy marriage is marrying somebody who loves God more than you because that's the way there really can be committed to those three things symbolic sacred site.

The only way they can do that as they love God more than than you Charlotte to challenge you that are single to a profound life defining at the faith that was going to scare some of you to death. There are some of you that are in here that are in sexual relationships right now you might be living together. I'm going to challenge you to from this moment right now so I'm going to do it God's way and I might mean you have to sever relationship. If you're dating a non-Christian, it most assuredly means you have to sever that relationship and you begin to say, God, from this day forward.

I'm going to do it your way. I know it scares you because you enter into a realm of singleness and I know that is going to be painful, but I promise you listen to me you will for the rest of your life. Look back on this weekend and this day is the moment that God begin to put blessing in your life and not cursing God always blesses faith. It may not always look like you think it's going to God always blesses faith. This is the area where probably most single people demonstrate both their idolatry under unbelief and if you could come to a point where you loved and trusted God in this area. I'm telling you like an explosion and like a waterfall.

It would cascade into every other part of your life because in this part of you to go to the deepest part of who you are. If you would love God here if you would trust and obey God. Here, that would become the defining moment for you were God begin to speak life and blessing into your life. We got couples in here living together that you need to. From this point I move out get engaged to get married and live together again and you decide you do things God's way. The whole point of this whole series, culminates in this appointment today that sex is not just physical things are mysteries a point beyond themselves to the souls relationship to Christ. That's what some of you have been missing. That's why your marriages are in the state that they are in. That's why you're so unhappy in your singleness is because as other do with her marital status and assiduity relationship with Christ, who is the thing that all the things point to is the source of ultimate happiness. He is the source of identity source of significance that you been looking for is the one that saw you and all of your nakedness and all of your shame and loved you intentionally, he is the one who served you, not just to where he washed your feet, and met a few of her needs. He took upon himself the sin of your rejection, rebellion, and he died for these the one that is giving you an unconditional uncompromising covenant that he will never ever leave you or forsake you.

He's the one that loves you with the never stopping, never giving up. While that you've sought all of your life. This is the area where you are probably most challenged to believe God in this is the area where the rubber meets the road. What I want to tell you just don't believe the lies of illicit sex, there's probably no live. It is more deceptive, more harmful that our enemy tells them that when because there is no idle that promises more and delivers less, it doesn't deliver. If you are single does not deliver illicit sex is not deliver. If you are married, how many married people do. I know that there's either there comes a kind of a stagnation in the romance, the dullness of their their their sexual life so sensitive feel that they go outside the marriage. Proverbs talks about businesses that that stolen water becomes like sweet bread, even secretly comes pleasant but at the end it goes down, and it leads to death and elite style font that you don't believe this promises is the false promises believe the gospel. Jesus is the ultimate spouse is what you been looking for.

I want you married or single, to feast upon Christ who gives unconditional love. If you have never trusted in Christ as Lord and Savior. In these moments, I would invite you to trust in Christ for the first time as your Lord and Savior. It's a very simple prayer that you would pray it's not words but it's it comes from your heart. God hears it. It's simply saying Jesus you're the Lord, and I've lived in rebellion against you say to me than right now. Jesus you are the Lord and I've lived in rebellion against you, and I surrender Jesus.

I believe that you died to pay the full penalty for my sin and I receive that gift is my own. I receive it.

Right now Jesus.

I receive you as my Savior.

Repentance and belief, pointing beyond itself to Christ and the church and with that we completed this timely message from the book of Ephesians here on Senate life with pastor Jamie Greer as a reminder, if you missed any part of this teaching series. You can listen again online, free of charge, or you can download the unedited message transcript Jamie Greer.com. Our current Summit life resource that have conversation cards and assurance study called devotions for the distracted family 15 days on relationships and racks.

Jamie I know you have a specific name and my altogether like these. So what do you help listeners will take away from this study grow best in our faith in communities.

Whatever the community is your family small group friends who are like family. Of course your local church. Our goal is to you and those you closest with talking and communicating in that group about important things like faith relationships and even rest. We created a vote for anybody who feels distracted, disconnected, at times given you into this conversation cards that will help kickstart conversations, ask meaningful questions of take your conversations places they may not otherwise go. I think you finally really really helpful when you combine them with this book of devotions, you might be surprised at how you and those you closest with talking about how you your faith brings you rest up bringing moment. We would love to be able to give these resources to you as you participate in the ministry that that God is given us here taking people deeper the gospel all available Senate life is kept on the radio and online hi listeners, thank you so when you are hearing our program you got another listener to think gift today and remember to ask for your copy of devotions for the distracted family and a set of conversation hi Kelly, 663-3552 24.

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Jamie