God’s Purpose and Plan for Gender, Part 2

Today on Summit life with Judy Greer. Jesus is way more manhood in the manger that out of the garden in the garden. Adam look like a member, you avoid the major Jesus bore but it was the most manly thing imaginable. He was fighting for the ones that he loved means of salvation will come to the world. As men begin to follow the second Adam, they become like that for another week on Summit light pastor Judy Greer of the Summit church in Raleigh, North Carolina. As always, I'm your host Molly made a batch today.

Many people believe that the biblical view of marriage is outdated and patriarchal. But God has a reason for the way he set things up.

And his reason is much more than just setting a cultural norm today pastor Judy Greer is in Ephesians chapter 5 talking about what it actually means for a husband to lead as well as clearly defining what submission does not include an important distinction no doubt if you missed the beginning of the sermon. I just want to remind you, you can always hear previous broadcasts at our website.

Janie Greer.com entitled today's message God's purpose and plan for gender so let's get started castigating the dominance of the man as if she existed as a servant in his house dictated all Venezuelans. If I am to be the one that lays down his life for his wife, 97.4% of the disagreements in my house. I should voluntarily lose his headship was not given to me so I could decide where we go out to eat and what color the carpet should be and how we spend our days off man was told to serve and submit to his wife the land.

That is why.

First, she was told to submit to her husband by submitting to the harder task will save the man who's going to lay down his life because that means any power he has these using it to leverage the benefit of his wife and his leadership is characterized by that question I gave you on the second week. How can I serve you.

My leadership is all dominated by that question.

How can I leverage any power I have. How can I leverage it to serve you. Submission does not mean number three. Unconditional obedience by the woman. A lot of people misread Ephesians 522 it is alive. Submit your husbands as to the Lord, that does not mean submit your husband as if he were God but me. Submit your husband's way of serving God. What that means is that if your husband is ever telling you something that is clearly contrary to the word of God and you disobey your husband and obey God. Paul tells us in Romans 13 to submit to the government uses the same word right will submit to the government, you know, we submit to the government's way of obeying God, but the government ever tells us to do something against the will of God than we disobey the government obey God same thing is true. And in Ephesians 5, it does not mean number four independent decision-making on the part of the man. Remember that God put various attributes into each gender. Which means that I is a husband and incomplete without my wife. She got a whole different set of filters that complete my now I didn't know guys like me back to be very emotionally detached yourself will happen to me like lastly I will have that you feel… I don't know about about just how do you not think about that. That's because again stereotype. That's going to be cut open.

The man's head what you usually find a place of his brain is waffles with these various compartments sealed things often one finger touch the other thing you cut open a woman said what you thought is not a waffle but his big pile of spaghetti one things connected to every other thing and so you know how things work with the kids in the husband and the work and publishable mom and is all interconnected, which it what is it better to be compartmentalizes a battery interconnected neither is better than the last 50 years. Professionalism was primarily described in masculine terms to act professional manger totally disconnected from everything and you just gotta write that's professionalism. What's interesting is we read the last 10 or so years of leadership literature. You'll notice this explosion and recovery of female values that are appearing in leadership saying these are really important.

All this means my wife's perspective is crucial. That means it is only a full of a guy who takes this principle starts making decisions without the counsel of his wife if she tells you don't get the second job is going to hurt relation with your kids listen to me.

Number whatever number were on that women should not have the highest leadership positions in business or politics you will click here Ephesians 5 and Genesis 2 are both given in the context of the whole and ideally were both partners of the gospel as their center. Now Paul and some other places in the New Testament is going to apply this principle to the church, but those are the only two places where this kind of headship relationship between men and women is to be normative when this principle of headship is enforced outside the home. Not only is it biblical it's dangerous because all the other safeguards the Bible puts in place are removed by gospel centrality like the fullness of the spirit by covenant loyalty those are not in place this principle in no way means that a man should never work for a woman or that if your man, you should resent working for a woman because this is not right. It mean that women cannot or should not occupy the highest places of leadership in society. I plan for my daughters to be president of the United States of America. I'm writing a vision into the national wall for her when she gets to that place by me, doesn't mean that you start your shows were little warning, the bottom like a warning to try this at home. Paul would put a warning label on this passage that would say warning only try this at home, but it is not something he's put out into society because all the other safeguards are not in place on it is not number 16 mean that the man is a power leverage over his wife appointed outlet on the second week, but the first word is wives you husbands you get out your wife. Verse this is not yours to apply to her and demanded she obey it right you don't like her and your stuff. She did like you and her verse between her and God be Martyn Lloyd Jones very conservative Bible interpreter said after studying this passage for years. What I can tell a guy is. If your wife is not doing what she is supposed to be doing.

According to this verse. All you can do is pray for her and try to live in a way that earns the submission of your wife you get a lead that between her and God right so she's not doing what she supposed to be doing verse 22 men.

This is not yours to demand. Maybe you can leave your Bible open on the pillow Ephesians 5 every night, get on hold. I will say that by the make quite a sermon over and over again. You know, but not yours to demand. It is hers to give those are six things that I know the submission does not mean making one thing I know the submission does me. Submission does mean that the man breaks the tie in a split decision. I've got a couple of an example of this for my life, but one the best I've ever heard Tim Keller in his book meaning of marriage talks about the fact that back in the late 80s. He was a pastor in Hopewell, Virginia, and there was an opportunity to plant a church in Manhattan and in New York City. After discussing it and praying about it with his wife. He felt like they should do it. She felt like they should not. So they prayed about it again.

MH fasted about it may spend a lot of time discussing what they should do at the end of that long time of fasting and praying.

He felt like they should do it and she felt like they should not. So finally he said all right, fine. If you don't thought we should go and we won't go that she will back at him and said oh no you don't. You are not putting this on me. God gave you this leadership role, which means you gotta cast the deciding vote you vote yes I vote no.

You get about twice so believing it was in the best interest of his family. He moved his family to New York City and the Restasis is kind of history that's what submission actually means now will tell you the number of times that is happened in our marriage.

I can count on one hand, it just means that there are times when there is a split decision, and the responsibility to decide what is in the best interest of my family. God lays that upon delays that upon me.

People say well will just work it out will to figure how to come to consensus.

Yeah but you know in any in any relationship that doesn't always work. It's like a dance in a dance. Somebody's got to leave the lead role in the dance of marriage God gave to the man CS Lewis says that the physical dance of sex corresponds to the relational dance of marriage in the act of sex. CS Lewis said man plays the role of initiator. He moves toward the woman.

The woman plays the role of receiving the initiative of the man we are given corresponding roles. Lewis says and how we relate as husband and wife. Now these are the parts that we play.

It's not some statement of superiority or inferiority, which is why Lewis, in his inimitable way goes on to say the crowns. That manner is there are given to wear in marriage is a one is made of paper and the others made of thorns thorns because he lays down his life for her, like Jesus did paper because he's a player role in his marriage. Not because he is superior now. That's about all I can tell you about what submission doesn't look like you need to take these principles and wrestle with them and have a long discussion and just work out what it looks like in your marriage.

I want to spend the last few minutes just talking to the guys specifically about what this means for them. Now admittedly, in the next few minutes a month or more.

The guys and the girls that bothers you, but I would do it that way will just look at Ephesians 52-3 verses for the girls and six for the boys are just being biblical in all more common. The guys and the girls as lightbulb had to take up your argument. Paul guys you were given five areas to be a leader in number those writers down. I hope you did talk about a couple of romance verse about college age.

Single guys are young professional guys.

I do not mean to get off on a soapbox to be too hard on you but I've told you this before. We have raised a generation of guys who don't really lead in anything including this they got the courage to ask the girl out your courage to state your intentions.

You just prefer to coast along be and what we call a friend Dacian ship or do what you want up referred to as the sneaky date was to see how things work out, maybe get some sex along the way her friends with benefits. That's not a man that's a boy, a man in Genesis 2, is characterized by one who takes initiative and girls. I'll just throw this out there. If he does not have a leadership capacity to lead and state his intentions and take the initiative and romance. I'm thinking he's probably not be a leader in the rest of your life and I just don't think it's the kind of God, probably look will return to teaching in just a moment. I wanted to remind you about our shared resource. This might connect easily and quickly without adding something else your plate.

We have what we call a set of conversation cards their smart cards with one question or prompt on men to pull out while you're eating dinner or on a long car ride to help you and does your closeness with talk about relationships and even rats also comes with 15 devotionals at the same time. Thanks.

Receive it with your gift to the ministry right now calling us at eight 663-3552 training or checking out@jeanniegreer.com. Now let's get back to the conclusion of today's teaching married men would never give up the responsibility to keep romance in our wives. I am still the leader in romance now will admit you I don't do a great job in this but I'm trying.

I have determined that I can never stop competing for the affections of my wife.

I was good at it. We were engaged and were dated. I was really good at competing is under B. That'll be the losers right but but now after I became a husband I started this, take it for granted. Just go slow. Now I do not think that in a thousand years my wife would ever be unfaithful to me. I am not saying that but I'm saying that I have to continue to compete for my wife's affections.

The way that I did when we were dating because I want to make it ridiculously impossible for some guy to come along and out wooing the and how he treats her one my counselor friends gave me this piece of advice years ago this really help me should you become a student of your wife. You gotta learn how see what what what turns her on. You gotta learn how she feels love.

It is not the same as how you would would do it and he gave me this concept some of you heard this and I don't have time for long time. I was concept of the five level images in your this is a really popular book and basically the love language is concept is that we tend to speak and receive love in a language like any other language. The person that you're talking to Esther speak the same language to hear what you're saying.

So, Gary Chapman, the author's book identifies five different love languages that people have the first one words of affirmation. That's where just hearing words means a lot to your spouse to say I love you. You're doing a great job. Some people give and receive affection. That way a second when he identifies his acts of service you to serve them by giving them helpful.

Belated mass for 1/3 when gifts that are given is bring your wife a bouquet of flowers up to work your buyer perfume are close. That's a language physical touch. Hugs holding hands, touches of affection right up five spending quality time.

That's were just full undivided attention just speaks volumes. Now here's the catch. Most people don't get how you speak and receive love is not always the way that your partner is going to speak and receive love for me when I got married, my love language is there were three like an old but use words of affirmation little gifts and occasional after service you want to make my day you come up here tell me I'm awesome. Give me a gift card and then wash my car and I just love you forever. I will so I thought let's all love my wife and occasional good occasional lack of service but a lot of words and she's not good when communicating with her and I had to learn the different ways that she would one that is not my life. I could just touch don't come up here and touch me I'm not gonna like it are items telling you just touch for like with Allstate a little quadrant. You know you saved their house every year will be five, Lawson from over there okay I but hers.

You just need occasional reaching out while watching TV and and touching my wife that it was in a way that was I was not designed to move from one base to the next, but just that the affectionate touch just did IT. It's it's becoming a servant to her in learning how I can leave in romance guys you quit doing that what happens is I'm not excusing her having an affair undertone. You should make it really difficult. You're responsible to lead in romance guys. This also means that you're responsible for your relationship is I'm having time to see this in our office. Some woman Dragon some guy don't want to be there but their marriage is in trouble.

Not as loving seven and by my marriage but I will tell you that when my wife and I needed help in our marriage. It was me who arranged the Council. He was me leaving took care ranges of the child care for it because I knew that where my relationship was was my responsibility.

I'm the leader in romance and I got for Utah for a minute about spiritual leadership. God gave you the responsibility for your family, for which he is going to hold you accountable. I'm just make sure you see Ephesians 6 that when he starts talking about the discipline of the children he addresses fathers fathers are you leading in the discipline of your children for that something you turned over to your wife and if I keep him off my back. I thought what I do I make money for the family. You raise the kids. That is wrong. It is on biblical and it is setting up your kids for certain disaster. I love the words of Tony Evans who said spiritual headship is essentially God telling the woman to.so you punch the man. That's what headship is if you really want to want to get to it guys that leadership is a sacred responsibility. You are the servant leader. You were there to take initiative for the benefit of others. Spiritual headship is not licensed to do what you want to do its empowerment to do what you ought it to that single guy is pleasant. If you become a leader in the five areas I cannot explain to you how attractive you are to become. Thank you. I because this is what she was created for.

And it makes you in the image of Jesus was the most attractive person in the universe. And here's the other thing that just burns in my heart for this. I know that as God heals the man the healing of the family and the healing of society will just follow the Genesis 3 situation when down it says you look great.

Later visit here.

The woman just reopens up it won't have a conversation with the serpent and it says that the man was in Hebrew with her help with her in Hebrew, doesn't mean he was with her, like over there doing something else with Hermes.

He was standing right there beside her. He was given responsibly to protect her and delete her spiritually, but he knew that God had said the that you that fruit you will surely die and Adams like one of us true.

Here's what he's offering the fruit to my wife, he's listening to the conversation. The dirt bag says why don't I just let her take the fruit and she drops dead on those not true toys I got on my own good. You know it is if somebody did anything wrong. He just didn't do anything. He wasn't there.

It wasn't a sin of commission.

It was a scent of omission. Now I know that's true, was first question got asked when he came looking for the couple Adam where are you where are you, you can really transit that Adam where were you when you when you were supposed to be leading and protected conversation so don't servant him of the woman, and as he started to get into a self it's been a minute snake we don't talk my wife more than the snakes. My wife and I were just unaware of the tree of life will have a succulent buffet of the tree of life and you are talking about this trashy tree of knowledge of good and evil, not in a million years. Snake back in your old that's how that conversation should on them. The fall of mankind happened not to a sin of commission by the man, but the sin of omission and it is still the question of God is asking the man, Adam, where are you where you and the leading of your children where you and the church. My friend John Bryson says we have a generation of males that just never grow up to be men who never take the role as servant leaders.

We created a new name for this group of guys who are not boys because they're both pubescent but are not men because they're not leaders that we got a new name for we call it Dude's most guys he says like a good husband if they provide food and shelter for their families. That's the standard he said possums provide food and shelter for their families. Is that really the standard of what we've given for what a man is a true man is a servant leader leading spiritually, romantically taking responsibility boys blame men own boys take men give boys complain men figure out boys pout men endure boys wish men do boys start men finish boys stiffen their neck men bend their knees. The world fell into sin, to a failure of a man to lead, but God save the world by sending a new man. A second Adam, who would lead with the first Adam followed who would serve the church for the first Adam served himself.

That of course was Jesus. Jesus is way more manhood in the manger that Adam did in the garden in the garden.

Adam look like a man, but he acted like a boy in the manger. Jesus look like a boy but he was doing the most manly thing imaginable. He was fighting for the ones that he loved and that means of salvation will come to the world as man began to follow the second Adam, and they become like him. Listen, every sociological study done points to the fact that the leadership of the father is the greatest determining factor on how the kids turn out Tony Evans and as goes the man sobers the family as goes the family, so goes the church as goes the church sobers the community as this community sobers the nation you want to change the nation change a community want to change family want to expand the change. The man God give us a generation lesson of man who will lead a servant leader is the way that God has called us to leave because I'm telling you when that happens. It all begins to flow way.

So how can you do this will give a clue is back in verse 21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. The gospel is the power for your marriage. It shows you a God who served you this way, a God who submitted and lay down his life for the church and as you become more aware of who this God is actually what power looks like it shows you a God who is a lover so you become the kind of lover that he is after seeing what Christ did for you. You begin to look at your spouse and you begin to say what can I do serve you because his question was, what can I do to serve and lay down my life for you if you do this because your spouse are gonna lose motivation. That's why says submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

When your horizontal service to your spouse has a vertical dimension of worship, then it becomes joy and you have the strength to endure marriage. You see, at its core listen is gospel reenactment but that's why. By the way some of you resist this really resist this. First of all we hate the word submission want submit anybody right so course you resist this because your center. But God appointed various relationships that you would learn to submit in if you're single. That's why this still applies to you because you might not be a marriage but you're a bunch other relationships, real or to submit for your to serve. The point is not marriage appointed Christ likeness. The point is gospel reenactment for many of you lesson what is missing from your marriage.

The reason none of this makes sense is because the gospel is missing from your marriage. You don't know a God who is a servant so you turn other people into your servant and you getting connected to Christ you trust in Christ as your Lord and Savior would do more for your marriage been 10,000 sermons or seminars or books. Whatever new because it would reconnect you to God, and that's the decision some of you need to make is you need to receive Christ. You need to surrender to him because that's what your marriage is falling apart. That's what your daily life.

Done work for.

That's why it's all in shambles because you're not connected to the source.

If you've never done that you want to do it to reconnect with God to let me encourage you to learn more about what it means to be a follower of Christ, we have lots of resources to get you started@jdgreer.com. Thank you for listening to Senate life.

We had a 15 day resource called devotions for the distracted family and as I mentioned earlier, it also comes with a set of 20 conversation cards the conversation cards have a question or prompt to kickstart dialogue around important topics. Some will be more lighthearted and others will get you into deeper conversations quicker because of your partnership that others around the country even the world can hear God's truth. So when you get a financial gift of $35 or more will think you are brand-new set of resource and request them. But today when you call 335 228-665-5220 or donate online. Clear.com hi Molly, that events join us Tuesday when Pastor Katie Ephesians chapter 5 bringing clarity and direction here on my