Reconciling Broken Relationships Part 2

One wasn't doing was raising his voice looking to Jesus phone number for making things right with someone you have wrong someone who was wrong. You is not easy but when things are right.

The joy overwhelms even long years of pain today, more practical steps to take to reconcile with another person from church in Chicago.

This is Dr. Sir teaching helps us make a cross the finish line. Pastoralists are they say Rome wasn't built in a day and that it takes time to reconcile broken relationship which you agree Dave, I do agree, but somebody has to make the first as I look at family dynamics. What I sometimes see is that there is a standoff because we think that the person who wronged us should make the first move when in point of fact, perhaps we should.

But somebody has to begin the process and often times what we need to do is to commit these relationships to God because after all, only he is able to change the human heart, but these are the kinds of issues I talk about in my book entitled the power of a clear conscience and this is one of the last days, we are making this resource available to you for a gift of any amount. It can be yours. Here's what you do go to RTW offer.com that's RTW offer.com or you can call us at 1-888-218-9337. Now let's go to the pulpit of Moody church and to try to think through the thorny issues of reconciliation. Well, I'm following Gary Chapman now number three for him is this how can I make it right. How can I make it right. Other somethings you can't make right but there are other things that you can and one of those things is what we call restitution and on the 19th chapter, the gospel of Luke is a very interesting story of a man by the name of Zakia's who was a small man and so he goes up the sycamore tree to see Jesus going by Jesus just apparently from our standpoint arbitrarily says to him like he has come down from the from the tree, I'm coming over to your house.

I remember he was a tax collector and tax collectors did not have a good reputation they really did not 99% of them. The other 1% had a bad essay. I think that that floated past you far too quickly and so Jesus is there and done Zakia's evidently believes on Jesus and he says half of my goods I'm giving to the poor and if I defrauded anyone under to pay them back for full and not the next words of Jesus where Jesus said that salvation is come to this house. You have been converted because of the fact that you have understood the principle of restitution.

Now you don't always have to repay five times or four times but when ever possible repayment should be made to give you a couple of stories.

Here's a man, for example, he's a Christian and all the stories are true.

By the way, most of them did not happen here in this church, but they are true stories he loves God and comes to church but he was injured in a hunting accident, but when he filled out the form on Workmen's Comp. He blamed it and said that it happened on the job. Why not get a check every month and that you get paid basically for the rest of your life workers comp is pastor found out about it and this was another pastor, a friend of mine and he said you know that sin you had to deal with that. The guy said you think on if I were to go to the Workmen's Comp. and I were to explain to them what I did I could be put in jail.

I'm not going all right, but he comes to church he wants to sing some of the songs that we saying this morning about Christ alone. Christ is all that I have Jesus say he wants to worship God. But there is so how are you able to worship God. Getting a fraudulent check every month because you lied and you defrauded the Workmen's Comp. well I just bungle along you. Let me give you another example.

John Claypool 1975. He's a teenager he killed was a neighbor and his wife and for no other reason than to just see what it's like to blow somebody away while he lives with Eddie gets married.

He has a couple of children. His wife divorces and then he gets a Bible and he begins to read, and he becomes a Christian now the question is what is he going to do. He said it was as if God said to them, if you want my full blessing you can have this without confessing it, no matter what the consequences are. So he turned himself over to the authorities was sentenced to second-degree murder. I don't know if he still is in jail but he was given a jail sentence, but I have the actual transcript of what he said and I'm summarizing it for you. He said I am free here in jail than I was when I was out of jail.

The fact that this finally was taken from my conscience which I could not bear because you go to bed and you think about it, you wake up and you think about it you put it out of your mind during the day, but during lunch you think about it now that all was gone because he had come clean. He said within the confines of this jail. I have found the freedom that I didn't have when I was out of jail restitution honesty, desperately wanting to be fully right with God. Let me tell you another true story.

Rebecca and I know a man who is very wise now is also old.

Sometimes wisdom, age, that's why some of us aren't as wise as we might be some way because were too young. Let me tell you here to teenagers from Christian homes kicked out of the school because of misbehavior and the suspicion that they were into pornography. So he invites them to his house and says come live with me because he has a redemptive mindset. He wants to redeem the boys while they come over and they bring their suitcase and he goes up and says you can stay in this room and watch it open your suitcase while we can't open the suitcase because we don't know where the key is why it's okay I don't have anything to do.

I can sit here while you're looking for the key little while later the phone rings he leaves and he comes back and lo and behold the key was found in all of this stuff was put throughout the room. The few things that they had and so he says okay where is it where is what where is it you guys goes under the bed and there's their stash of porn is a very wise guy what he said was, look, here's what were going to do first of all, were going to burn it. Now he was in more of a rural area we could burn things and that's what should be done to trash you burn trash so I said were going to burn it.

But before we do, were going to add up the cost of all of these magazines and see what it comes to and he said he told Rebecca neither was near $300 so they burn it.

Then he says I have work for you to do. He said I'm going to put you to work your going to work for me and I'll pay you something. Not a lot, but enough because you are going to earn that money. That amount and when you have that amount were going back to the convenience store where you get the stealing. So within time. The boys earn back their money.

The amount of money that they had stolen and they go back and they tell the owner look this is the money that we are bringing back for the stuff that we stole from your back and the man is smitten in his conscience because in the wise man older man who was with them said you really want to be corrupting boys like this and he said no.

He said even my wife told me I shouldn't be selling the stuff he said nothing to sell the stuff in, but just so that you finish the story. These two young men are missionaries today and they are just missionaries.

They actually head at least in one instance, a mission organization so my friend today. When you are dealing with teenagers or those who are older or those who are younger and you're thinking of restitution and taking care of the issues always think redemptive way because we serve a redeeming God and blessed are those blessed are those who have the wisdom to know how to restore well all right now let's go to number four in Gary's book I want to change. This is now repenting.

II want to change and we talked so much about sin and repentance before God in the previous messages, so I'm just going to give that to you as number four and then go to number five. Ask can you forgive me. Can you forgive me. Can you find it in your heart to forgive what I'm whenever possible. It is very important that the person whom you have offended the person that you hurt be able to say yes, I forgive you that's important in relationships now maybe they won't be able to forgive you.

Maybe they'll say no I The hurt is to deeper, I need more time or they may be one of these toxic persons who are never going to offer forgiveness.

But whatever. What you are seeking is the forgiveness that should be extended to you. Hopefully you ask for it.

You know there's so many situations can I tell you another one. True story this woman comes to us and here's her story okay. She and her husband have three or four children. He leaves runs off, gets married to the woman of his dreams.

But now the children are in school and they various events that they need to attend to and are involved in. He is their father wants to participate in their kids education and their children's work, at school, and so forth.

So he comes to his ex-wife and says why can't we just be friends.

I mean We just go out together after the play in, and that you and I know that I'm with my new wife but why can't we just just enjoy you know each other a let the past be passed in this instance, I wrote him a letter. Wish I could find it because I believe that God gave me very specific wisdom for him. I said you know that your ex-wife wants exactly what you do. She also wants to be able to go out let the past be passed but you can't act as if nothing happened. Never any asking for forgiveness never him that maybe he did something wrong or offended her and betrayed their marriage and destroy the relationship know let's just pretend that it's all okay Canelo, I mean, let bygones be bygones. Let the past be passed.

Not so fast. Not so fast.

What I'd like to do is to give you a couple of bottom line comments here as we apply this to ourselves. First of all asking for forgiveness asking for forgiveness begins with receiving forgive. Asking for forgiveness begins with receiving forgiveness and so if you're listening today and you don't know that you been forgiven by God's obvious Allied confessed my sins.

Let's fine, but what you need to do is to receive Christ as Savior. Because confession only takes care of past sins you need a relationship with God that will endure forever. That doesn't happen just through confession. We explained that in a previous message, but isn't it wonderful to know that God is a redeeming God and the God who knows all about us and all of the details invites us and as we get to know one another and our sinfulness and are proclivity think I'd use that word in years but it seems to fit here in our Polk proclivity so are proclivity to sin.

We exercise the same grace that we have been shown in Jesus Christ our Lord. That's the standard and that's what we must do now. Gary Chapman tells a very sweet story in his book that I have to repeat and that is that his little granddaughter came over to their place. I think her name was Davey Grace and she was about five or six and she asked whether or not she could have some stickers and her grandmother told her yes you may have three stickers she knew the drawer in which they work.

Any three you want, but only three. Pretty soon stickers began to show up all over the house and that so they went to her and they said you know you were told that you were only to have three stickers you disobeyed grandma and the little girl began to cry. I need somebody to forgive me. I don't care who you are you and I need somebody to forgive us and thank God that in Jesus Christ. He sent somebody to forgive us and he can cleanse all unrighteousness you've never received Christ as Savior. That's the beginning point then you can talk about reconciliation. Secondly, we will reconcile we will reconcile when our desire to be right with God. This is absolutely critical.

I hope that your writing.

The place to write. We will reconcile when our desire to be right with God is greater than our pride in our reputation when the hand of God is really on us. We will reconcile when our desire to be right with God is paramount. And that's the stuff of revival the early 70s in Canada there was a great revival that swept Western Canada. I actually wrote a book about it though that book is out of print now and a great way in which the revival caught the attention of the world was all the people who were coming back to make things right. I mean, the Canadian equivalent of the IRS was being sent checks on asked.

Yet people going back to stores you had all of these things happening because God was working mightily and the world was definitely convicted done and I'm thinking of my own sister-in-law who went back because and $0.99 bag of potatoes was on the bottom of her carton. It wasn't seen. Now she goes to the manager and confesses and he says either.

Either it's my lucky day or something's happening in this town. You're the second person that has come to me today to confess something was happening in the town because people were so desperate to be right with God. They said even though my reputation. You see, the reason that God blesses people who reconcile you know in Matthew 18 it says were two or three are gathered together their mind the midst why does Jesus say that they're not talking about a prayer meeting, though he is there. He's talking about reconciliation because it is the final way in which God and who of us has not been humbled because we've needed to confess, I can think of many instances, I'm going to tell you only one that was in when I was in seminary we had to go to the chalkboard. This prof Pattison. We had to write out some Greek verbs over here and you know the various forms of the verbs I was never good at languages. Unlike the philosophical big idea theology.

Now that's better, but the guy next to me, whose name was Paul, who was a missionary today. I knew that this guy knew he had a facility for languages so I just stepped back from the board a bit and I saw his thing and I wrote it down later on in seminary week or so later the timeline we're having communion during this communion service the Holy Spirit so convicted me because of my cheating on tell you when the service was over.

I beat him to his office, waited for him and said I want you to know today that I cheated.

He was very forgiving because he knew that the temptation being on a chalkboard close to somebody else's great but I think of another man who taught me chemistry actually in high school. He was a person who was in church as often as the pew's. I mean they were there all the time as a family be taught Sunday school. He was in the leadership of the church, but when he graduated with a Masters degree years earlier he had cheated on a term paper. I won't go into detail how the cheating happened from our standpoint was in that big a deal, but he said that when he walked across the stage to receive these honors. It was as if his feet were as heavy as lead, but he received the honor worked in the church for 20, 30 years. But now, the Holy Spirit was working and he was going to really pray to God for his daughter. I mean, just not a little.

God bless her. I mean this was the Holy Spirit seem to say Henry don't bother.

Why would God say don't bother Henry regarding iniquity in your heart. There's something that you need to make the right and then you come to me and pray went back to the University confess what happened and he was willing even if they took his degree away because the desperation of wanting to be right with God was more powerful than his own humiliation as to what he went through. I leave with you with the final comments sometimes we must risk it all, particularly our reputation.

Sometimes we must risk it all to have radical transformation. Were we simply say, for the good of my conscience for the good of God so that he can bless me abundantly. I will take care of this. No matter the cost. Some of you need to take care of things and you may not know exactly how maybe you can receive counsel from someone whom you respect is wise to walk you through it but blessed are all those who have a conscience free of offense before God and before man, you can't straighten it all out but you can straighten it out to the best of your ability to be free. Father, help us. We ask Lord Jesus that 10 as this word goes out there all kinds of people dealing with you right now all kinds of issues that are coming up.

We ask father that whatever the cost may be, we may humble ourselves broken in your presence and be willing to say, Lord, whatever whatever hope father do that, even as I've experienced conviction in my life bring that to all who have outstanding issues we ask in Jesus blessed name Amen amen wait a moment. Now before we close this prayer, would you talk to God for just a little bit.

What did he speak to you about. Are you going to follow through. Are you going to say God by your grace all do it. How many of you here in the sanctuary today would raise your hands and say, by God's grace and do what God showed his see those hands she has. It's wonderful to see all for the sanctuary balcony folks, you're not exempt though I see your hands. Look at that all over, God help us to do what you show us in Jesus name, amen coherent community church. When I preach this message once again there was a great response as people throughout the congregation raise their hands, indicating a great need for reconciliation. One of the chapters in my book is devoted to that. How do you navigate these difficult human issues. Also, discussions of impossible people you know there are people with whom you can't reconcile all of these issues are talked about in my book entitled the power of a clear conscience would like to send a copy to you because we think that this resource will be of great benefit to you will also benefit others, and so for a gift of any amount we are making it available and I need to tell you that this is one of the last days that this resource is going to be offered the title of the book is the power of a clear conscience. How do we navigate difficult personal relationships.

Here's what you can do. Go to RTW offer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337 I'm going to be giving you that contact information once again to give you time to get a pencil or pen to write this down but let me share my heart with you. I believe that this book can be transforming not just for individuals but also for families. There's so many families who are alienated from one another because of all the past that is never been dealt with, so for a gift of any amount were making it available. Go to RTW offer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337 thanks in advance for helping us in our desire here it running to win is to help everyone they could successfully across the finish line.

And we pray that you will enable us to do that you can write to us at running to win 1635 N. LaSalle Boulevard Chicago, IL 60614. The devil tells believers the lies to get us into the bondage of having defiled conscience next time. To combat those lies and walk in victory.

Thanks for listening. This is Dave McAllister running to win is sponsored by the Moody church