Tuning Up Tired Marriages | Part 1

Your marriage ready to listen to Adrian Rogers sometimes starts as my view becomes an order, you were looking for an interview.

What we need to do is not something new but take something to keep it fresh and one welcome to love, pastor, teacher and author Roger said is not your love that sustains your marriage is your marriage sustains your love is about learning more about the music of marriage.

Marriage ought to be a duet not do we sing the same song but we take different parts. Yet over time, our marriages may fall out of tune. At some point we all need to be refreshed and reminded of God's grand purpose and design for marriage. If you have your Bible turn to Ephesians chapter 5 will begin in verse 22. As Adrian Rogers shares more about tuning up, tired marriages open pleased to Ephesians chapter 5 moment were going to be generating some very familiar passages. We cannot preach on the home of music of marriage and ignore so that I may have to. I certainly pray that they will be fresh to you because were talking today about turning out tired marriages are sometimes marriage that starts out as an ideal then becomes an ordeal and they were looking for new video and what we need to do is not to look for something new.

But to take something old. Keep it fresh and wonderful Peter Marshall a great preacher of yesteryear said dearly beloved the marriage relation, when rightly understood and properly appreciated is the most delightful as well as the most sacred and solemn of all human relations is the clasping of hands is the blending of lives is the union of hearts that to may walk together up the hill of life to meet the dawn together bearing life's burdens discharging its duties sharing its joys and sorrows of émigré Dr. Marshall went on to say marriage is more than moonlight and roses much more than the singing of love songs and the whispering of vows of undying affection in our day is by many lightly regarded and by many as lightly discarded, but marriage will ever remain in the sight of God and a internal union made possible by the gift of love which God alone can bestow. I think that's a wonderful I think that's beautiful. I think it is well, but many do not have the music of marriage. Many do not have a magnificent marriage. Many do not even have a mediocre marriage. Many have a miserable marriage.

Now I want us to do something about that because the devil knows that if he can hurt us at home. He can hurt us all over.

He can hurt us everywhere.

They can hurt us in the church of the skill and society in the nation. If he has hurt us at home and so Satan and you know it is true levels. His biggest artillery at our homes and that right. Indeed, that is true now that doesn't mean that you're doing something wrong, it may mean that you're doing something right and the devil is trying to stop now. The apostle Paul who wrote the Scripture that I'm about to read to you.

He's a wonderful wonderful teacher because he tells us not only want to do, but he explains where we can get the power to do what we need to do and then he gives us an illustration that we cannot miss the show is exactly what it is that he wants us to do and he saying to be filled with the spirit and that's in verse 18 when I go to read that that's the power to do what we ought to do and then he's going to tell us to love our wives and love our husbands, etc. and that's what we ought to do and then he's going to give us an illustration of what it is like in the perfect illustration so no one can miss it is the illustration of a relationship of the Lord Jesus Christ and the church now what Christ is to the church. The husband is to be to his wife and what the church is the Christ and the wife is to be to her husband. With that in mind. Ephesians chapter 5 in verse 22 wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands, as unto the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife even in the same way as Christ is the head of the church and he is the Savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing husbands love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word that he might present to himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.

He that loveth his wife loveth himself for no man ever hated his own/but he nourishes and cherishes it, even as the Lord the church, for we are members of his body, of his flesh and of his bones for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined under his wife and they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but is it difficult to understand but then he says, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. I give you the illustration. He said nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself and the wife see that she reverence her husband Jim Wescott with you first start with me. What am I to do if I would tune up my marriage while I am to be joyous. What Jesus is to the church.

I am to give to Joyce.

What Jesus gives to the church that means three major things. First of all it means leadership. What if you will, in verse 23 for the husband is the head of the wife you see that lady you see that serve the husband is the head of the wife, how is he the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. Now how is Christ, the head of the church where he is the Lord of the church. He is the master of the church but he is not the dictator of the church.

As you know, Jesus never makes me do anything and so you're going to be in severe difficulty.

If you think that when the Bible says you are the head, you read that to say I am devolves. I am the dictator. No, no, no, no, Jesus is not the dictator maturities the editor and if the wife refuses to follow been waiting to see that she's going to rake repercussions, but he never forces me to do anything at any husband who takes that attitude of the dictator is going to say that his home is in severe trouble. He goes around using the Bible as a club rather than a sword say I marriage rights are a lot like traffic rights. I mean, yes, there are certain traffic rights and they feel Bailey get along fine, but suppose you come to an intersection and you have the right of way and another car is coming this way, don't you think you'll stop anyone here lies the body of Benjamin may who died defending the right-of-way. He was right right as he sped along but just as he did as if he were wrong.

My dear friend, we can learn from that that the husband is to lead why you all dear wife leadership week. We talk a lot about the chain of command in the home is not so much the chain of command as it is the chain of response to be the head means that you accept the responsibility sir all your desk as a husband is a sign which says stop here and I will tell you, Mr. if your home is wrong. It is probably because you are wrong. The great problem in America is rebellious women. It is slacker quitter sissy husbands. That's the problem in America. Husbands are weaklings and slackers and quitters and shakers say. As for me and my house we will serve the Lord, you will your wife leadership in a way to minute. What kind of leadership is loving leadership that brings me to the second thing look at it here if you will, in verse 25. Not only does he tell the husbands to lead many thousand husbands to love husband love your wives, as Christ also love the church.

What kind of love is this, we think of romance is not talking about romance here at all. What kind of love is this, first of all, it is passionate love now. Romance may be included, but he's not talking about it here.

The word for love here is not the word for erotic love is for sacrificial self giving love. Passionate love to see Jesus love the church enough to die for the church you want to love your wife enough to die for her or you say I do will bill you provide a one way I can find out the live for right until you die for. If you don't live for you see a man willing to die for his wife shows it. By the way that he lives for his wife and you don't have to die physically to dive your private ambition, ego, and your own particular proclivities and put your wife first on most homes in Memphis Tennessee need and where you live anyone they they need to funerals at a wedding. The husband dies to himself and the wife dies to herself and then they are led one to another. Mr. when the Bible says that you love your wife as Christ loved the church what it literally means is nothing is too precious for you to give up for your wife and your home, nothing except your relationship to God.

I hope you agree. Nothing is too precious for you give up except your relationship with God and on to something else. Most women do not mind being in subjection to a husband who loves her enough to die for her and shows it by the way he lives for her in that how you to love her passionately. But not only passionate love, but a purifying love look in verse 26 he loves the church. This way, that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word that he might present himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that it should be holy and without blemish they do now, dear Sir, that God expects more holiness out of a man that he knows a woman.

Did you know that God expects the man to be more spiritual than he does. The woman expects the man to be the lead in his love for his wife is to be not only passionate it is to be purifying dear what my chief assignment from God is. It is to make my wife Joyce and even more radiantly beautiful Christian you see I'm to love her as Christ loves the church what is Jesus to the church is both prophet and priest man in his home is to be both prophet and priest to his wife and as Jesus has forgiven the church. Husband should always forgive the wise and not be bitter against them. And as the Lord Jesus sanctifies the church.

The husband should ever ever ever see to it that his wife has every opportunity to live a pure life and should never ever ever encourage her in any impurity whatsoever birthday.

I'm talking about love. I'm saying is passionate love. It is a purifying love. It is pro protecting love look in verse 28 so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.

He that loveth his wife loveth himself not listen to me on man is sick food and take care of his own body and he will soon be sick. You see, you are to love your own body you protect your own body you keep your own body out of danger. And so it is that you are to love your wife as your own body because she is a part of you who is closest mother and child our mother and husband. One woman was asking.

She said that if you had to choose between your husband and your son. Which would you choose, she said I choose my son that husband is no relation of mine who have all dear friend, the husband is not a relation of yours. He is a view of man you are one flesh & if you hurt your why you are hurting you. Be good to yourself and love your wife, yourself and love your why you want to love her with April detecting love and you need to protect are many ways you need to protect her emotionally.

Protect her physically, she is not physically strong issue that doesn't mean that she is not worth as much as you are. Because the Bible calls are the weaker vessel silk is worth more than denim but is more fragile but more beautiful, more delicate, but you see, dear friend, God is given a husband to protect.

Many of you men are letting your wife work when you want to come alongside and help. I'm not about us. I don't understand that inside the home when she's tired, you're sitting there reading. She still in the kitchen.

You need to go in and help his jaws here today you need to little boy was looking at.

So an old album and a look back at a family album that was taken many many years ago was a wedding album and he saw his mama when she was a bride.

He said that is that when mama came to work for us. My dear friend protecting love and listen, you owe her parole violating love. Look, if you will, in verse 29 because it is the way you protect no man ever hated his own flesh.

She's his flesh. He cherishes his flesh even as the Lord to cherish I told you already in the series means to body heat entered marriage means to my trimmings to feed the mature. You see when you're cold. Don't you want to be warm and when you're hungry, don't you want to be fair, but the apostle Paul is saying by divine inspiration is see to it that her needs are met seek to satisfy her as you would want your self-satisfied, and strangely, you will be satisfied to see a man I tell you is sick, who does not want to care for his own body and a man is committing suicide who does not care for his own body and a man is committing matrimonial suicide who does not care for the needs of his wife.

The problem is that Joan, we fail to think of our lives as a part of this I mean we think of them as apart from us so many man thinks of his wife as a possession like his car and when he gets a new car shows and 1/2 dear friend, your wife is a part of you just like we are part of the Lord Jesus Christ look in verse 30 for we are members of his body on his flesh is below for an hour with a wind you hurt Jesus or he's touched with the feeling of your infirmity. And so it is that husbands are to love their wives to hear the third thing is the only wife you older leadership unit. Her love you all to her loyalty felt a look at it in verse 30 we are members of his body, of his flesh and of his bones and thought this because Jill a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife. The word limit means welded.

See you two as well. They too shall be 1/the word leave speaks of the priority of marriage. The word been enjoying speaks of the permanence of marriage 1/speaks of the purpose of man it's all right then that's God's plan. It is okay hi Dan, I want to say, the highest of all human relationship. Contrary to popular opinion, is not mother child, nor is it child parent it is husband and wife will be understand there is no other human relationship like this never ever as it said anyone else that day are on flash and so that speaks of the priority of marriage, and to be enjoying speaks of the permanence of marriage. Divorce is never the plan of God never the plan of God. You show me a young married couple that get married and with the divorce as an option now show you a home that has a great great potential for this integration use take the word divorce and cut it out of your dictionary just cut out of your mind, you save it if we have problems. Maybe we divorce and start all over again. Listen to me. Couples that get divorced in couples that don't get divorce have basically the same kinds of problems, but difference is not in the problems that people have the differences in the word commitment. Commitment. It is not your love that sustains your marriage to have you wear anything if you listen to me is not love that sustains your marriage is your marriage that sustains your love marriage is a commitment. The Bible says you are to be enjoying the same kinds of problems on no-fault divorce is an impossibility. What happened so many times is that 10% of the marriage will be in trouble. A wonderful marriage in 90% goes down the drain because of a lack of commitment to ally myself to be happy good Greek word for lab skull baloney firewood to myself to be happy. Therefore you enjoyed yourself to be happy you in the marriage offer you made about you with the beekeeping about your your wife your teaching Bible says what. Let not man put us in coming up Monday.

Will you the second half of this vital message from Adrian Rogers. In the meantime maybe you have a prayer request about your marriage or your family that you'd like to share with us and love worth finding is one of our great honors to come alongside, you would pray with you and for you if you can go to our website homepage@lwf.org/radio and scroll down to our prayer wall. There you will find the option to submit a prayer request or pray for others. This resource is one of our favorite ways to keep the ministry in the community praying continually for one another's needs. We can't wait to hear from you today after like to order a copy of this message in its entirety, tuning up, tired marriages: 1877 love God and mentioned that title this message is also part of the insightful series.

The music of marriage for the complete collection, all six powerful messages. You can call that number 1877 love God or order online it LWF.org/radio or you can write us at love worth finding box 38, 600 Memphis, TN 38183. You can also purchase our new Bible studies, much like this message in our online store for more information go to LWF.org/radio. Thanks for studying God's word with us today if you'd like to start receiving daily devotions and links to the program sign up for our daily heartbeat emails LWF.org/rating join us Monday for the conclusion tuning up, tired marriages might online where is a quick note, a listener left on her Facebook wall. Recently I listened, Adrian Rogers, a long time but his sermons are a great encouragement to me every time I listen to preach you agree with that. Your love refining our mission is to provide listeners with the timeless teachings of Adrian Rogers as well as biblical resources to help you mature in your faith you donate to love worth finding right now we want to thank you by sending a copy of the new book the music of marriage. This book is for couples of all ages and experiences to remind us that God wrote the music of marital love and gave us the capacity to play together beautiful request a copy when you call us at 1877 love God. Again, give a gift at 1-877-568-3463 will send you the new book the music of marriage and again thank you for your generous support of love worth finding