Has the Nuclear Family Bombed? Part 1

The Bible instructs children to monitor their parents.

Are we worthy of honor is a real Rogers birthright. I cannot teach your children that your responsibility so I want us to look at it, primarily from the parents point of view. How parents get out of the children so I want to talk to you primarily about being the kind of bothers and mother that the children cannot welcome to love where the pastor teacher and author Adrian Rogers said when the home. A nation begins to decay God created the nuclear family with the world and the stated sin, we may be tempted to ask, has the nuclear family bomb. We can never be perfect parents and will ever have perfect children, but there are five ways to parent our kids. The Scriptures give us that are worthy of honor. If you want to find out more, turning your Bible now to Exodus chapter 20 will begin in verse 12, once again, here's Adrian Rogers.

Chapter 20 verse 12 honor by father and thy mother that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth the have this as you know is the first commandment with promise, honor the Lord and honor your father and your mother that you may live long in the land that the Lord your God has given you.

God created the nuclear family.

We have to ask is the nuclear family bomb I make to say yes there and there is one God give us families but first of all living so we could live together your families a little part of the garden of Eden that we have carried with us children be families that you don't have to be a rocket scientist to understand that. But not only for living, but the learning these 10 Commandments were given primarily to a whole lot to the SKU not to industry, not the government. They apply what they are given primarily to the whole. As I've told you before, we need to stop complaining about the 10 Commandments not displayed on the walls of the classrooms we ourselves don't display them and teach them in our very own homes. The home is given for living the home for learning and for the last thing he says that that you may live long in the land. Look, if you will, in verse 12 that by days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth the when the home begins to decay. It follows as night follows day the nation begins to decay. I want to talk today, not so much about honoring your father and your mother as to being the kind of fathers and mothers that the children cannot because very frankly I cannot from this pulpit. Teach your children honor you that your responsibility so I want us to look at it, primarily from the parents point of view. How parents can honor the children so that the children might honor the parents I want to talk to you primarily about being the kind of mom and dad that is worthy of honor. Now whether you are worthy or not there is a sense in which all children not to honor all of the parents, but all how much better when we live audible lies before them.

I would say war just put a little caveat here before we go more deeply into the message and relieve you from the burden of perfectionism. Let's just go ahead and admitted there has not been a perfect parent on this earth since Adam and Eve and they fail get the idea that you have the perfect parent you not a perfect parent and your children are not perfect children and I want to say something else. You cannot guarantee the way your children will turn out. Some people of almost put themselves in an early grave, because they had a wayward child and they have prayed and sacrificed and loved and thought and that child is done wrong. If somebody is taken. Proverbs 22 verse six and beat that personally admitted to doesn't the Bible say train up a child in the way they should go and when he is old he will not depart from friend that is a proverb. If you read the book of Proverbs and try to turn the Proverbs and the promises you lose your faith, a proverb is a proverb, a promise is a promise, a precept is a preset a parable is a parable, a prophecy is a prophecy and when you understand the Bible correctly. It's a wonderful book but you better be careful. I mean that there Proverbs that tell you the way to be wealthy. Does that mean that everybody falls on these Proverbs is automatically going to be wealthy, then why are the godly people are not wealthy. A proverb is a general principle generally apply brings a general result, even our normal natural Proverbs you want to proverb is it's a short sentence based on long experience we will use Proverbs today like early to bed early to rise, make you healthy, wealthy and wise. Well I suppose that's true, but you might get hit by truck driver it's it's a general principle that indeed it is a promise that this is a principal I'm not trying to say Bible is not true or not be taken seriously. It is, but you have to understand is that God gave your child a widow God gave your child will God had two children, the garden of Eden, and they didn't turn up this with why because God gave them a will. That's the reason that you're not have goals for your children. I don't have goals for my children.

I have desires for my children you live goals for me for me. Why because I can't control them. I can control me, by God's grace. So my desire is that I will have godly children. My goal is I will be a godly bad understand the difference. I will, God helping me I will be a godly dad. I have a desire for godly children and I do believe there is a principal, a proverb that if I will train up my child in the way that he should go here. She will not depart from it. I my trunk which under a guilt burden today Ray I'm trying to encourage you, but it at all. You must understand that your children do have a will of their own, and I want to relieve you from the burden of perfectionism to think of your child fails is because you were perfect will then prepare success depends upon your perfection. They will fail because love is perfect.

I'm not you, not it is of the grace of God that any of us survived this thing called parenthood a man and a man. Don't pretend you children your perfect number one they already know you're not already know what they don't want to know are you perfect they want to know are you real are you are you are you genuine if they know your radio and they watch you handle your mess ups in your failures and your problems. They will learn far more from that and they'll learn from your phony perfectionism.

But now the Bible says we are to honor our fathers and our mothers well. How do we live in such a way that our children can give us on. Let me give you some ways number one and I will give you about five ways number one by loving them but now listen carefully.

Love is not giving your child why he wants our walks she wants is giving to the child want that child in the that is love. Let me say again. Love is not given to the child what the child want is giving the child what the child needs. I mean I am a grandfather. I got the credentials and the scars I can prove it. I now let me tell you how to love a child number one by touching them by touching them.

I like the bumper sticker that says kids need hugs. Not drugs that and and and I don't get the idea that you're not supposed to touch and hug your children even your grown children. I was reading about the prodigal son when he came home and Proverbs chapter 15 verse 20. The Bible says his father fell on his neck and kissed Melissa grown man and grown sentimental way living in riotous living. His father fell on his neck and kissed him, and Jesus gave that with approval at soil father supposed to do you know how to keep your girls and your boys from growing up to be sexually impure, hug them off. That's one of the ways. Don't let them get the idea that Hollywood has given that the only way to get hugs is sexual intimacy hug them often hug them affectionately hug them supportively and tenderly, playfully anyone at all teenage wax like mama, they still want you to do this.

Glad and hugging and bad hygiene and let the children see the parents hug one another. Joyce and I were locked in a tight embrace when our grandkids came in the want to catch it. They just stood there and looked at while they walked away, but well you know what, what are they up to well that's okay they need to see also loving one another.

They need to understand that in order to be huggable and lovable.

I don't have to be in the sexual intimacy. Charles Swindoll said this, he said many a young woman who opts for tomorrow sexual relationships does so because she can scarcely remember a time when her father so much as touched or un-affectionate dads without wishing to do so, can trigger a daughter's promiscuity. All of this leads me to write with a great deal of passion.

Dad's don't hold back your affection demonstrate your feelings of love and affection about sons and daughters and don't stop once they reach adolescence, they long for your affirmation and appreciation.

They will love you for. More importantly, they will emulate your example. When God gives in their own family that you love them. Therefore, by touching your love them. Another way by blessing them video the Bible teaches that we have an awesome weapon is called a blessing.

We can bless our kids with such an incredible way.

When you give children the gift of the blessing. There are few things in life.

They give them more peace and confidence they need strokes, not folks they need you to bless them for say in the name of Jesus.

My child I bless you.

Can you imagine what that does to child what a dad just picks a child up with the child in his arms and says Billy I bless you out of heaven they'll never forget my blessed me. I wonder how many children have been blessed by a baddie by touching them by blessing them by affording them well. Children hire. Don't ever laugh at their pain when the doll is broken when the lizard dies on the turtle does a bottoms up close to the top and back pain and their world is just as real as yours. We had several funerals for dogs in our family. I mean the full thing flowers and everything Barry that hounded hold hands and it's real to the child, sometimes as real to the adults if we would admit it, and we need to give comfort to these and and pick them up in and say I understand I will feel better later in and kiss away those tears. I know what it is all overgrown child in my arms and when her heart was so broken my heart was broken both of us cried like babies. Another way to love them best by listening to. We think we listen, I wonder how many times do we ever let them get a full sentence out of the mouth before we began to tell them here's what you need to do. Here's what you need to do is what you need to do.

We know listen the finest forms of communication is saying nothing but just simply listening and if you have a teenager you have to wait for the right time to allow all guarantee there comes a time when they just clam up and close up and generally is when you're so sleepy you want to go to bed about 11 o'clock. They'll start talking Leventhal just say I will pay the price.

If I don't sleep I will sit here I'm going to listen and speak. Ashley if that teenager has a problem in his or her quote love life" or if they are having problems about their own feelings about themselves. Sit down and listen love them steadfastly and consistently know they need to know mom and dad love them regardless and folks, this get your kids time to go through all these different stages. There are all kinds of stages. We live in an age now we want everything we wanted. Now is that we got computers and fax machines give the kid time just be consistent love them with your prayers. Pray for them, pray for them and pray for them some more and lift them to the Lord, the most loving thing you can do is to call your children before the throne of grace and prayers.

So the first thing I'm saying. Number one is this you must love them, you show you the parents worthy of honor by loving them number two by lifting them listen to this verse. Colossians 3 verse 21 fathers, provoke not your children to anger.

Now listen to this last they be discouraged.

Why is encouragement. Here's the principle. The first principle was real love gives them what they need, not what they won't. Here's the second principle wise encouragement is better than lavish praise.

Learn the difference between praise and encouragement. A lot of people think there is no difference, but there is a vast difference between encouragement and praise. Children need encouragement like a plant needs water. I may say that again children need encouragement like a plant needs water. They needed over and over again and you need to catch them doing something right and let them know through your encouragement that you believe in them. Let your speech affirm them beeping positive, and constantly affirm faster what is the difference between encouragement and praise well. Encouragement is twice as powerful as praise. For example, if your child comes home he has straight A's and bats one brilliant you're a hard worker you get all these things that he is so proud of you because you got straight A's. Her mom is so proud of you because look how clean your room is. I can see the rug. Some you mamas need our riding vacuum cleaner. I see the rug. Look how clean you clean your own. I'm so proud of your unit so good you clean your room below that says it says I get approval when I do good, I can earn approval if I will do good. Then they will approve of me when my performance is good. The approval rate goes up when my performance is bad then my acceptance goes down in my self-image goes down with it. Praise says you are great because you did something that is nothing wrong with brains, but I'm just saying that encouragement is twice as strong as praise praise says your great because you get something encouragement says it is great that something was done and I really appreciate it.

There's a real difference that listen encouragement looks at a child and values that child not primarily for what the child achieve, but for who the child is who is achieving it and saying you can do it.

Thank you. I'm so grateful for you to finalize what you think about it how you love them, how you were there by letting them by lifting them.

Thirdly, by limiting them by limiting them.

Here's the principle it takes firm restrictions to set children free hello. It takes firm restrictions to set children free is your responsibility to liberate them by limiting them first Samuel three verse 13. Here's what God said to Eli Fry have told him that I would judge his house forever for the iniquity which he know it because his sons made themselves vile and he restrained them not heated and set limits your child needs some limits when God put Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. He gave them all that they needed but he also gave them some limits. God said there's some things you shall not do now when you give your child limits. These limitations will be tested over and over again. The restrictions that you give your child will be tested by the child is going to push against them and if they move that child will have no security but if you set limits and those limits are firm and reasonable and you love what Josh McDowell says he's a rules without a relationship, bring rebellion, but they know you love you got those rules.

They push against those rules and those rules don't move.

Then they have security. If you don't place limitations on your child to a child.

It implies rejection.

I want to taste something we all inwardly desire limitations. We want and if you don't conquer your child's will somebody else will. I'm telling you, if you do not conquer them they will allow someone else to conquer them now society looks upon setting rules is something bad and that I want to say for most families is one of the toughest in one most needful things to do what's wrong with many of our church gets today I drove out in evangelical churches, then no more bow shouts, and thou shall not today with Mike Bradford going past the 10 Commandments to call ABC's Nightline personality was addressing the 1987 graduating class at Duke University.

Listen to what he said. He said in the place of truth.

We have discovered facts for moral absolutes. We have substituted moral ambiguity we now communicate with everyone and say absolutely nothing we have reconstructed the Tower of Babel and it is a television antenna on a thousand voices producing a daily parity of democracy in which everyone's opinion is afforded equal weight regardless of substance or merit and then here's what he said in a listen to this what Moses brought down from Mount Sinai were not 10 suggestion bear Commandments they are and not work Commandments, the sheer brilliance of the 10 Commandments is that they codify and a handful acceptable human behavior not just for Danlar now but from all time coming up tomorrow will you part two of this important message may be, as you've listen today. There is something rolled around your soul.

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This resource is one of our favorite ways to keep the ministry in the community praying continually for one another. We can't wait to hear from you today go to LWF.org/radio and scroll down to our prayer wall if you like to order a copy of today's message has the nuclear family bond, call us at 1877 love God, to order this message is also part of the powerful series a perfect 10 for homes that win with a complete collection all 10 insightful messages: number 1877 love God or go online to LWF.org/radio or you can write us at love worth finding box 38, 600 Memphis, TN 38183 thanks for studying with us in God's word today. Maybe today's a good day to evaluate your relationship. Do you honor your parents.

Are you a parent worthy of honor. Pray for God's guidance and grace as you learn to love your family. Be sure to tune in tomorrow for the conclusion of as the nuclear family bond right on love worth buying. We love hearing how this program is affecting your life, here's the testimony received not long ago I love listening to Pastor Rogers and I believe he was a man filled with the Holy Ghost and the true word of God, truck driver driving at night, and it's the best part of my night when he's on the radio. I always look forward to sharing his sermon notes with my family.

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