How to Raise a Healthy Family in a Modern World - How to Raise Godly Kids in an Ungodly World, Part 2

Did you know that almost 70% of students from evangelical homes walk away from the faith five years after high school. How is it possible be raised in a Christian family go to church and pray over meals, maybe even go to Christian school and then recheck the talk about today. This is stay with.

Thanks for listening to this addition of living over you with Living on the Edges of international discipleship and history between the daily Bible just a minute Chip wraps up a short series raise a healthy family in the modern world for the past couple programs we've been studying what God's words is about building relationships strong family in society that's often the values before we get started. If you missed any part of this series. Let me encourage you to catch up to the ship and remapped.

It's a great way to listen anytime all right. If you have a Bible, had he turned out to Psalm 127 storage part two of his message how to raise godly kids, ungodly world when you what you do when you blow it as a grandparent I can tell you I had to learn over the years when they were small to get down on one knee and look in there.

I really get their attention. Sometimes at their head.

You know, and I would say their name and I would say when you did this.

I want you know you disobeyed me and made me very upset to I chose to respond that way and what you did was wrong and I forgive you but I want you to know that the way I talk to you. In fact, the way I yelled at you.

God spoke to my heart and he told me that was very wrong and so will you forgive me and we started that very very early and you know it's an amazing thing to see a four-year-old, look at you. I forgive you settle. Thank you and then normally I would, I would sit down when they were small like this cannot happen climb in my lap put my arm around him and we would pray together and actually some of the times were I discipline my children or I confessed my sin to my children were some of the precious times what they learned that inland their dad or mom was perfect. What they learned was my hearts desire. I want to be holy and loving before my God, I want the life of Christ lived out in me and so that's my number one goal for me.

My number one goal for them what they learned was the role that I play as I want to be that example I want to be that example doing the right thing and I want to be that example when I don't do the right thing to my stop and to repent and so they understand how to own their stuff is right. Sometimes our expectations are so unrealistic of our kids are they we look back at our childhood we did this and this and this and this and then market principle of modeling someone has wisely said your children will come today where they will not do what you say but when you look at your children by and large they will become what you model the little line that I thought about many many times has been. I want to be. You might jump this down what I want my kids to become and is never too late nights I've seen it happen where you got 28, 30, 35-year-old kids and you're sitting here thinking you know I wish I had this series, I would've applied this years ago. If you will be right where you're at your stage in life what you want them to become I will tell you the spirit of God will begin working not just in you with your work through you.

So three questions have shaped our parenting question number one what your number one priority.

It's like kids would be holy and walk with God. Question number two. What's my number one role. I have a lot of different roles but number one role is I want to model a dependent, loving relationship on the living God and walking and holiness.

The third question is what's my number one responsibility as a parent there's a lot of responsibilities but what's number one. The apostle Paul would write to the church in Thessalonica follow along. It's in your notes just as a nursing mother cares for her children, so we cared for you because we love you so much. We were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God, but our lives as well. And then he goes on to say, for you know how we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children. How do fathers do it, encouraging, comforting and urging you what to live lives worthy of God who calls you into his kingdom and glory. Now that you notice the apostle Paul. He gives them two pictures he said how do we live among we let them on you like a caring, sensitive nurturing mother is in the issues of the heart and we lived among you as a father, and he uses I did a word study on those three words those three words, is this week we encouraged. We urged, we implored the word comfort.

There is a decent translation but in essence he says we did what ever it took we would say it nicely. Then we would bring up the intensity and the final word.

As we brought whatever consequences necessary to help you learn and so it's this picture all of our kids need clear boundaries that produces security and all of our kids needs. Very very tender hearts and lots of love and if you can imagine, you're like there's this highway and your kids are on this highway and you're the parents, and your kind when the real small euro close to a woman and pretty soon they get farther and farther away but but the one guardrail is.

Here's a boundary you can never have your own selfish way is it's it's can be some tough love. And over here is a boundary there's nothing you can do. There's no action, there is no crime. There's nothing you can ever do to make me stop loving I will love you unconditionally. But I will not allow you to have your own selfish way and you will find that you will be on this journey and you'll bounce back and forth in the be times where you will cry with your children and you will love them and forgive them when they met Karen this mistakes because they are human just like you in the arms of God will be your arms in the eyes that weep with them will be your hikes and there's other times where they'll be in milder very strong rebellion and you'll set some boundaries and you know what their you're the worst person in the world and they don't love you anymore and I slammed the door and leave me got four kids. We we went through lots of ups and lots of downs in any sense that you mistakingly have of my sweet wife and me and where they just loving godly family and all of our kids just turn out right.

Nothing could be cute farther from the truth. It was a battle. It was journey. We went through difficult times there in the wrong relationship, seasons of rebellion. Seasons were one of them just to slide all the time, one that was so negative all the time, one that had no confidence and each individual child. It was a journey. There's not some formula that works for all of the here's my number one responsibility my number one responsibility is to build the kind of relationship where they feel deeply, deeply loved significant and where they clearly know where the boundaries are secure. See that's what God does for us and that's what God wants us to do for children.

I called the principle of relationship your values and beliefs, not these are not the values and beliefs that you say that you on a test would tell you.

God is important and oh yeah families next. These are my values and on and on talking about the ones you live talking about if I look on your calendar.

If I looked at your finances. If I could read your mind about your dreams, but I could hear the words that come out of your mouth to see that's what your kids get in the Grinch.

If you want them to have a heart for God.

If you want them to walk in a manner this worthy.

If you want them to be caring for other people. If you want them to be people of integrity is what I'm gonna tell you, the stronger your relationship with them and you know their heart and to know their heart, then you need to understand that each kid is wired differently so you become a student of every one of your children. There's one of my sons that I raise my voice he would feel crushed. I had another son and I never did this by the way, but metaphorically, if I took a 2 x 4 and just went right across his head and it splintered. He would go like this and go that all you got.

There were just so different I had I had one.

It was supersensitive. I had one that just wasn't sensitive at all. I want to need a lot of personal time, one that doesn't doesn't want to talk deeply all the time. Each one of your children are uniquely made by God with the unique DNA and what my job and your job is is to help them feel deeply, deeply love and deeply deeply secure done a lot of research about what helps kids feel secure and loved it. Here's eight things to build a relationship with your child where there's a bond because what you get me I been through all this there can have a crash in some area. Probably more like I think I have across some of them and some addiction there and have a crash where another gonna break up with someone they can have a crash for their super disappointed.

They're going to go through all kind of ups and downs and here's the key. If there is this bridge that's built between you and them where they can come even when they've really blown it and be honest and share and know that no matter what you still love them. But also know no matter what you to be consistent and hold those boundaries and help them learn. Here's eight ways to do that. Number one express unconditional love and by the way, I know were doing better as a culture, but verbalize that way you might not these big grown boys of mine how they and every phone conversation still love you like tell them and then model that let let them know that their performance is not what you value you value them and a lot of that happens with the kind of words that you can say not just you look pretty external or you got good grades, performance, or you you're really good athlete.

I watched you in the game today son. I thought the way you responded when they call foul on you.

That didn't happen really impressed me what where my going.

See you want to affirm character by the way, you had a great game 12 points. Way to go second scheduled time.

This is absolutely critical scheduled time. In other words, it doesn't just happen dinner time I'm in the research is amazing factors websites now about the value of eating together believers or unbelievers eat together scheduled time. Bedtime schedule time as they get older you go out for coffee or a smoothie or whatever you like, you know, every other week with each kid. Third, focused attention, no TV, no screens, by the way, when you're in the car. Don't let everyone put in headphones and don't go on a trip and have screens going everywhere.

If you want a little bit of that.

Okay they can't get away there in the car with you maximize it and it's okay they rolled their eyes but talk, share, tell stories about your life telling where you have fears. Share your concerns, create dialogue for his eye contact.

It's just all the powerful when you talk look into their eyes start very young look into their eyes let them know that you know that person inside of there really matters.

This is consistent communication and whether you do that around the dinner table, whether that's going on dates with your kids but consistent communication, whether that's texting during the day were that that's an email or you want to what I think I have my kids read certain books and the night I made do a book report and I paid him for the book. I want to get good things in their mind, and I want to communicate with them on a regular basis especially for those of you. The tribal may get that face time thing going. Don't don't send the message that you're always busy busy busy busy.

Because no matter what you say, no matter how many gifts you bring from your trips, your kids heart resonates when they know that you care and you communicate number six is meaningful, touching, and this is his reason why kids love to wrestle me. I just love to be with next to you and so dad's, especially as your daughters are reaching adulthood and womanhood. You know those those those 12 1314 and their coming-of-age.

They need nonsexual hugs from a big strong man. They trust and that's you meaningful touching HotDocs to those boys seven is as have fun together. I know I sound intense but may we had so much fun playing games together played sports together we did crazy things together and just have fun together.

It's like loyal to the whole family relationship and finally pray together and pray often I just I cannot tell you the power of how God draws our hearts together.

If you're married and not a single parent. This is an important thing for you to do together. It starts out very uncomfortable, but it will change your marriage and then do that and not just perfunctory you know. Thank you for the food.

Amen. Heartfelt prayers pray about problems because when something great happens.

Let's just think God right now and I don't make it just always at church around the table. Or, you know, right in the middle of in the car taken a walk in battle. You don't have to close your eyes.

Did you notice that Jesus looked up to heaven.

Any freight you can pray with eyes open just let your kids know that talking with God together is just the normal Christian life with his application for this message. How to raise godly kids in an ungodly world from a series raise a healthy family in a modern world. As many of us know raising a family abuse days comes with lots of challenges in raising a healthy Christian family is becoming increasingly more difficult to do so. What hope to moms and dads that through this short series chip on Paxil parents can create a home that's built on love, respect, and most importantly the Bible. Don't miss the ways you can establish a well-adjusted countercultural family that they look odd to some, but truly honors God know if you happen to miss any part of the series chip and remap is a great way to catch up anytime one joins in studio now by Chip and Chip today.

You talked about practical ways, moms and dads can build relationships with her kids to pass on their faith and to defend them against dangerous ideas. So would you give some insight into what our kids and grandkids are facing and how living on the you're just trying to help. I'd be glad to Dave.

You know the world has changed a lot since I was a kid. Things that were once just normal aren't even viewed as tolerable anymore and things that were once unheard of our becoming normal.

Here's the thing, relative truth is a lie. The generation coming up is being taught that it's offensive to believe that evil is evil and good is good.

The Bible is being falsely represented as hateful and destructive.

What is truly heartbreaking to me is that the truth of God's word is where we find the answers it's how to create reconciliation between divided parties and it's what provides help to hurting people in the world you know it. Living on the Edge were committed to biblical teaching and discipleship and how to live out the actual truth is revealed in Scripture as a result were on a mission for the next generation. Not just generation C and Jan alpha, but the millennial's, and the young Gen Xers raising families of their own. There's so many of these generations who have distanced themselves from the church and from the word of God. We have to simply stand in the gap for these people that we care about and stop the cultural Tidal Wave that the washing away the faith of the next generation. And here's my question. Will you join us in right now is a great time to partner with us because every gift that you give from now to July 7 we doubled dollar for dollar. Thanks so much for praying. Thanks for your gifts and thank you for allowing us to spread the truth of God's word all across the world. Well, if you're already supporting us like you. Your gifts are helping us in profound ways. But if you're still looking for a way to make a difference. Let me suggest that you become a financial partner right now is a great time to join the team because thanks to a handful of donors. Every gift we received through July 7 will be doubled to send a gift call us at AAA 333-6003 that's AAA 333-6003 or go to LivingontheEdge.org hapless nurse Donate will ship as we wrap up the series you've been pretty candid over the years about some of the struggles you and Teresa had in raising a family. So as you look back was the key to getting through those difficult times. Because let's be honest ups and downs are a normal part of parenting. Absolutely Dave, there are going to be times is going to be days that you're going to have challenges with your children. They don't want to listen. They disobey they get involved with the wrong crowd.

They make some bad decisions.

But here's what you need to know the stronger the relationship you build with your children the better. That truth will stick into their heart and the better they be able to curate in days that are ahead when the storms come in. So the eight things that we talked about.

Let me encourage you go to the website download those notes and then post those eight things and practice one each day what I can tell you is, is that those storms will come.

There's times when they listen more to their teenage friends than you. There's times when they go to their little rebellious times, you know, even eight, nine and 10 years old and there's times when you won't feel like loving them, but when you do these eight things regularly. What happens is your heart gets connected to their heart with great intentionality I had these on a list and I practice these because what I knew was when I feel my heart, disconnected that I don't treat my kids the same way and they don't receive and feel my love. So let me encourage you if you want to prepare for the dark days ahead.

Practice building a great relationship today. That's a very Encouraging Word ship thanks. You'll find the message notes Chip mentioned a couple places go to LivingontheEdge.org and click the broadcasts tab hapless nurse will find them by tapping fill in notes you get chips outline all of the Scripture references. Lots of fillings to help you remember what you're learning. So I hope you'll take advantage of this resource. The next time you listen well from all of us here, this is Dave Drewry saying thanks for joining us for this edition, living on the