How to Raise a Healthy Family in a Modern World - Guess Who's Behind Families that Thrive, Part 2

You see your family relationships, improve you know genuinely love each other like Paul with each other with respect and kindness raising a healthy family is impossible, but it does require some counterculture think today we'll talk about one of the key people behind families that drive stay with thanks for joining us for this Edition of Living on the Edge survival picture for this international discipleship ministry focused on helping Christians were currently in the middle chip series is a healthy family is a quick reminder if you miss a portion of this program encourage you to catch up tripping going to listen to living on the no less time. Chip revealed that a godly woman. The person behind a thriving family. We learned that her influence is a wife and mother credibly valuable bells we get started. Chip continues to impact the specific qualities of a godly woman laid out in Proverbs 31 – let's join Chip for today's message.

The fifth and final one in terms of her character is God looks down he goes. When I see a woman's godliness or character or encouragement. Her love first intermarriage in their home or work or ministry. Lastly, in planning and priorities.

This is a very interesting passage that when it snows. She has no fear for her household, for their oral all closed in scarlet circle the word scarlet.

She makes coverings for her bed.

Underline the word for her bed and she is clothed in fine linen and purple underlying linen and purple. There's three things where I get. She is a wise planner has great priorities that word scarlet it in Hebrew the word. It has a picture of something that's double folded and it kept coming scarlet but it can mean double folded and I think the translation. It's not like all her kids had read stuff on it's what she didn't have any fear because what she did as she planned ahead in Chino.

Her kids are going to be warm like all you do right wingers, school close time. All the kids have what they need. The second she makes coverings for her bed. This is not like he was into embroidery. What a wise woman understands is you have small kids.

He's working and especially if you're working, you have no time together and what happens is your romantic life can go down the tubes. When your romantic life goes down the tubes then pretty soon a distance occurs in your relationship. Here's a woman, he says I'm going to plan in times for us to make love. I'm going to keep our love life alive and the other research and I don't know why required this way there's few things a man feels more empowered and love and actually even what happens in the brain when he makes love with his wife in terms of opening up being understanding and being engaged so this woman says you know what I can apply ongoing plan for my kids and to plan for my husband and ready for this. She's closed in fine linen and purple. This is nice.

This is a luxury item, a Jewish woman in fine purple and in linen, which probably came from Egypt is like she's taking care of herself. She looks good. She realizes you have to help the kids have that I got all these demands, my life matters. Here's the application for permission to be good to herself. My wife is such a responsibility oriented person and we were really really poor. Most all of the early years growing up in, and I mean we got a number we had like $300 total in savings and for us. That was great with lot better than zero and a member taking $20 and I gave it to us and honey you care so much for the kids and you do this you do this, would you just take this $20 may not be a lot now the for us. It was lot just go do something for yourself. Mean what I do know your nails your hair at some go do something for yourself. Two weeks later find out she gave part of it away and then spent the rest on kids and we had a big argument. So honey you know what you and that comes out of you still believe in these lines, you think everything and everyone else is more important you know there's some of you ladies that you have stuff in the closet you bought. You haven't even opened and a good day is going to the mall buying more shoes this this part of the message is not for you. Pause hexagon guys lighten up here. There's some of you, however, that you feel like all you hear is I need you I need you I need you to meet everyone else's needs and then and then over time you feel resentful in your life ends up like there's all these needs and so I'm in a hurry to put my hair in a ponytail to put on a baseball cap. I don't put on the makeup. I did get the kids here than to go here.

I'll change later. I got sweatpants and so you have a life were pretty soon, that becomes habitual and then, because you don't feel good about yourself you feel better when you eat some stuff so you eat some stuff against what you don't like and pretty soon you're looking in the mirror, some with no makeup sweatpants is getting a little bit awake and you don't like you and guys you gotta step in. You say you matter in ladies you have to believe here's God's view, you are valuable you are precious you are worthy. And you know what you should have some nice stuff and you should take care of and that's why your husband to take you out of town a couple times a year minimum and that's why there to be a part of the budget.

Yes, the kidney choose the kids need that they have enough sports equipment to flow a ship you got money for this ago money for that. We got money for that.

How about what is your wife need. What's the mother need when we set aside some money that she feels deeply valued. You are worthy as evidence. Anybody ever got a promotion without a raise if you have one of those you're doing such a great job. We esteem you so much. This used to be your job and manage your new job and there's $0.50 more an hour. Hope you enjoy it, what, what's the emotion.

I think I got more responsibility and get a raise. No matter what our words say the time in your job when someone connects money with your value. Olson, three more bucks an hour, or we just we just want you to this level and by the way, here's all the new benefits.

Some of your wives need to raise what's the impact this is such a high calling for women, but is such a strong calling for us men and for children when a woman progressively lives out a faith like this.

Over time she walks with God sheet.

This is a kind of marriage. By the way, she doesn't she's good to him when he's not so good to her.

We men sometimes a little slow and this is what I do in my home. This is what I do in ministry. Here's what I do at work. Here's the impact. Three things one in her marriage. Her husband is respected at the city gates where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. A godly woman has incredible impact on her husband's character and therefore his whole life. I jotted in my notes here.

My of all I've I've had to go to lots of schooling and I had to learn Hebrew and Greek and been mentored by some great people.

I will tell you the number one impact in all my life is my wife, her integrity, her prayer life and the way she has run her home shaped everything I I'm I'm sort of the means justify the ends personality. You know close is good enough. Very insecure wanting to, you know, impress people, and so the very first church of 35 people and I mean I'm up all night with my messages and and so we did a Bible study for kids in the neighborhood and we had Blacks and whites and Hispanics and all kind of different kids and I took them all church and you know when you bring 25 kids to church is only 35 people. It made some waves and is trying to tell them that we have to care about this community and I was you know in my most passionate self and I said we had cancer last weekend and some of you don't even care about these kids and you know I thought I really had a good weekend and I'm going to tell them so that enough were in the currencies required beyond this, the young, insecure pastor on now in older insecure pastor and so you kinda want to hear from your wife like you. How did I do know silence so it have password of what you think. Silence finally turns to me. Why did you line church today. What why did you line church today so when you line church you said they were 50 kids chip. We counted them. There is 37. I said I rounded you round up 13. I would love to say that's the only time I have lived my whole life with someone that more on a few occasions visit why July like that just exaggerated.

I don't think God closet exaggeration. You have to run three years.

It was just forget it. I'm just not going.

I'm not in good exaggerated anymore. Not worth in you that end justifies the means of manually with this high integrity person is like oh my gosh, I just, I guess I'll have to be honest and little things.

Guess what that does change the course of your life.

She's prayed hours for me and for our kids through huge times of marriage that I think deep in my heart I wondered if we make it through with at times with our kids were. I wondered if our kids would ever walk with God or be in a good place ladies. Here's what you need understand you are such the core of any success that we have in our application. Is it we need to remind her of her role in your success. Most people don't know my wife started radio ministry is a really weird doing five services I was getting burned out and she got a prayer partner. She does every week morning to pray God takes the message outside the walls because it's killing my husband like this at the end of one year. Some guy I never met came in and said hey I think you some pretty good be good all radio. I said I want to go already.

I don't listen to radio and a businessman set. I think it's a good idea to sit with you guys want to make it happen. Go ahead, but I'm overwhelmed as it is and it got birthed because she prayed and who would have ever dreamed. Years later, that millions of people would find Christ and would grow in Christ because a woman saw a need and did something that no one will probably ever know about the lessons of this passage to help anyone that's that's the impact she needs to hear that and then understand any success you have or ever will have is rooted in this relationship. Second, her work she makes notice linen garments.

She sells them and supplies them to merchants with sashes as time and priorities change in a woman has more freedom, and they have different energy in different passions and there's different seasons for them. Here's what I would say cooperate with her creativity and her life transitions cooperate with her creativity in her life transitions. I watched attorneys take five, six, seven years off to raise their kids and they go back in the practice.

I met all kind of people that have all kind of things and those transitions are very difficult and usually there's feelings of what I do now because I figured out how to be a mom I get such fulfillment in I have four kids for those you don't know me very well and are spread out my oldest twins are 13 years older than my daughter, but I think that makes you you parent for long time like that and I remember when when Annie was coming, not just out but I mean she's now this adult she's on her own. All the kids are done I'm thinking great and you know that they love God. This is wonderful more time for us.

Let's go. But being the sensitive husband that I am I thought I probably give her a few months to adjust so she was kinda mopey and grieving and struggling so after three months I sit and mope around forever. We look at all this new time we have in the house is empty. We can do whatever we want and let's let's we had our emptiness. It was not pretty.

About nine or 10, 12, 13 months that we were not on the same page and I was honestly I was resentful and hacked off like can you not get with the program here so you care about kids that aren't here more than me this year the guys that they feel that way and then in her great wisdom. She said chip can ask a question she did it at the right time. You know, I was closing in my right mind. I was ready to listen to one of those rare moments question sure she said what if 24 hours, like this time tomorrow you could no longer speak no longer write no longer be a pastor.

How would you feel who thought of it that way.

I have to reorient my entire life and she looked at me with tears come and ask us now you get my life.

30 years my world has been around packing lunches getting kids ready, sports teams, development, school, organize my world around all the crazy stuff that you do and I've given my life to that and I've loved it is been the most fulfilling thing ever and I love our kids and I'm so excited for them and I'm glad they're out of the house, but my world completely changed and I'm sad and I don't know what the next season looks like I'm not sure how to figure it out and just running around the world with you is not really what I had money and I remember I just in a rare moment of maturity decided him to shut up and I'm and I'm to give her as much time she needs. And I'm not can make a lot of suggestions and I'm going respond with yes question, I'm gonna realize life transitions but is not just empty nest. You know the first child and that's a big transition more than one child transition coming home from work or going back at work big transition teenagers who big transition you going through your ups and downs, the death of mom or dad big transition.

Moms got all timers dad left her big transition. We understand part of our role in loving the women that God has given us is to be on their team and cooperate with their both creativity and transitions and then finally here in her world.

I love this.

She's closed with strength and dignity. Notice it doesn't give the size of dress or if there is any logos she's she's closed with things you can't see strength, character, godliness, faith, wisdom, love, compassion, things that no one can take away and no one can buy dignity. She's class.

She laughs at the days to come. Why could she trust God.

She is a sovereign God she's developed the faith. She's a woman of the word.

She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue. The mouth always speaks from that which fills the heart. This is a woman that godly people want to know what you think about this and could we meet together. Could we get here. Can we get coffee and I'm having a struggle over here when my kids going through this over, people are seeking her out. She watches over the affairs of her household, and doesn't eat the bread of idleness application focus on compliments on her inner character, not simply external behavior.

In essence, God says her marriage, her work in her world is a way better place because she is a woman who walks with God who loves her husband who runs her home who works at appropriate times in the appropriate way. Who ministers to people and there is a woman that fears God and notice her reward her children arise and call her blessed. Her husband also, and he praises her words of affirmation, many women do noble things, but you surpassed them all, your wife or your mom needs to feel like that you surpassed them all charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting. It's a shame, but it's true. There's not enough cream or enough surgeries to keep us the way we want to look, but a woman who fears God is to be praised command give her the reward that she has earned more than just on one day and let her works bring praise at the city gates. That's where the action is in Hebrew culture, private affirmation public acknowledgment God would say ladies you are precious and you matter and it is not based on how you look what you accomplish. It will be based on who you really are the kind of person the kind of woman that is kind and loving and patient and selfless and holy and just in the end, or walk our wives or daughters or mothers are grandmas and her sisters need to know that character is more important than curves that integrity is more important than influence likes and Instagram the surety is more important in popularity, that godliness is more important than later in the commitment actually is more important than cosmetics love end of the day will be way more important occasion for this message guesses behind families that thrive from a series how to raise a healthy family in a modern world. As many of us know raising a family view stays comes with lots of challenges in raising a healthy Christian family is becoming increasingly more difficult to do so. What hope to moms and dads have through this short series chip on Paxil parents can create a home that's built on love, respect, and most importantly the Bible.

Don't miss the ways you can establish a well-adjusted countercultural family that they look odd to some, but truly honors God know if you happen to miss any part of the series chip and remap is a great way to catch up anytime chips with me and studio now can ship. I know that over your many years as a pastor you've made encouraging parents of priority and will hate to moms and dads need a lot of support nowadays to help meet that need. We've developed a great resource called intentional parenting cards which take just a minute and talk about those will Dave I can tell you I am super excited about these cards because I just know as a parent I did a lot of research and I tried to work really hard to be intentional but I always didn't know like intentional about what and what these cards do is they provide a simple way to stay on track is apparent in other words, it talks about how you develop strong belief or be a role model or make sure that Encouraging Word's are a part of your family life or genuine affection there just like for five cards and you review a section of them.

Yeah, just every day for like a week or so and then pretty soon you find yourself hey I'm building into my kids their belief or delicate discipline or or active responsibility. Your I love one serious fun and what they are there 10 different areas and they have very pithy clear specific ways to be an intentional parent, where over time as you just review these instead of trying hard. One day, or taking some course you are renewing your mind and focusing your life each and every week around one area that here's what I'll tell you when you are genuinely affectionate when you provide encouraging words when you discipline delicately when you build strong beliefs.

What happens is over time. You're an intentional parent with children who respond in very positive ways.

These intentional parenting cards are a tool that allows us in a fast-paced world to do his parents what we want to do and build into the lives of our kids the way we want to do it.

I can't encourage you enough to get a set of these cards and put them into practice. Thanks to all of you're wanting to be more deliberate about your calling is apparent or grim. Let me encourage you to order a set of our intentional parenting cards to cover 10 specific ways to help you be the mom or dad your kids so desperately need to order your set of intentional parenting cards just go to LivingontheEdge.org or call AAA 333-6003 that's AAA 333-6003 or visit LivingontheEdge.org Listeners top special offers without ship. Let's get your application would you want to highlight from today's message I want to take a minute and I want to go over that little list that I gave you at the very end. It's not on your notes. I know a lot of you love to go to the website and download the notes for free and there's some good stuff there that I shared some things in this message that I don't have in the notes and I'm really speaking specifically to parents, and even more specifically to men dads, brothers, grandfathers, I made this little parallel point and counterpoint about what we communicate to women. Day after day after day they are bombarded with lies that you are how you look at that you are how many likes you get.

You are what school you get in. You are your grades you are this you are that it and as I close that I I came up with a few little catchy phrases that help me remember what I wanted to praise and my wife and my daughter and into the young women that I come across in my life I talked about character is more important than curves that integrity is more important than influence that purity is more important than popularity that godliness is more important than glitter. That commitment is more important than cosmetics and love is more important than looks in his what I would remind you, you always get what you praise.

You always get what you reward and his men sometimes we unconsciously keep praising the things that the culture is praising and word were doubling down on the message. Of course, do I tell my wife. You look beautiful today or to my daughter. You look so lovely. Of course I do what I want you to know is that over the years I've tried with high intentionality to use words that praise their character their integrity.

I'm so proud of the effort that you made. I'm so proud that you didn't cave. Then when everyone else was wearing those really dresses that were super immodest and you looked great but you really had your integrity. I'm so glad the way that you loved your brother what we need to do is think of the one or two women, and our lives right now. Man and they need to get a text a phone call. Are you ready even pull out a napkin at a fast food place and shot a note of all the things about who they are there character their love your purity and integrity and you write that down in some way, you affirm that in their life more than anything else. What you find is you help a woman become a woman of God, thanks to just before we go I want to say thanks to those of you who support this program through your generous financial support. Your gifts help us reach countless lives around the globe with the word of God know you haven't given to us before, but you'd like to be part of that work. There's never been a better time between now and July 7. Every gift we receive will be matched dollar for dollar to send a donation go to LivingontheEdge.org or call us at AAA 333-6003 that's AAA 333-6003 or go to LivingontheEdge.org Listeners top donate and let me thank you in advance for your generosity. Until next time, this is Dave Drury saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge