Overcoming Emotions that Destroy - Learning How to Stop Stress Before it Starts, Part 2

We hear a lot today about reducing stress in the health benefits of living with less stress. The question is how do you do it. How do you keep your cool. When the pressure heats up, how do you stop stress before it starts. Don't go away. Thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge with children Living on the Edges and international discipleship ministry start helping Christians live like Christians vapor in just a minute you picks up where he left off last time in a series overcoming emotions that destroy with the second part of his message.

Learning how to stop stress before it starts. After this teaching trip will be with us in studio to share some additional stayed with us for that.

That said, let's tortured nosy continues unpacking ways to minimize stress in our day-to-day life. Number four admit mistakes and imperfections.

If we could just liberate one another. One of the core values we only have four Living on the Edge and we did with the acronym LOT and the Alice for live it out. We discussed we can it be what we want others to become and the O's for own your stuff.

Don't blame. Don't tell someone else.

It wasn't on time. It was your light we I love it when someone says it one of the new guys that's working with us in and I get this email. Hey Chip, sorry man haven't done this in years.

I thought my plane was to leave at this time it's no one else's fault.

I didn't look at the thing I miss my plane all missed the meeting I blew it.

Sorry I wrote him an email back. I said hey Rick, let me tell you this. You made my day. Thanks so much.

You didn't tell me it was someone else's fault you didn't tell me your assistant Blewett you didn't tell me that you'd renegotiated things and thought it might be better to come. A second day, but you're really sorry there was no smoke there is no mirrors. You made a mistake. Welcome to the human race you owned your stuff way to go. Keep it up. You realize how much stress were under to slightly bend the truth to say the traffic was really heavy. Of course it was very heavy and you left a half-hour late right you know you would really love to do it. You would never want to do that in a million years right but you can't, you know, just you.

You forgot about that one. You know like you know what I forgot to call you back.

There was one I was checking my messages from somewhere in I called the guy and I and this is his human I think I thought myself okay. I was busy. I was traveling. There's got to be a legitimate excuse is this important relationship to four days and then God thought you had this little thought from the Holy Spirit.

What is she just telling you forgot.

Isn't that what happened yeah some very spiritual or no but is it the truth. You think human beings ever forget to yeah why she just telling you forgot. Okay, so I called this goddess that hate is really what is really important type things and I said hi this Chip and not by the way, I realize it's been a number of days and you know sounded pretty urgent and I just forgot.

And you know it was the other in the phone was. It was like you are a terrible person. You will now be sent to. If there's a purgatory. You will now go there.

I mean, it was just hey man understand what happens. Admit your mistakes five and laugh more often. Don't take life for yourself so seriously. Proverbs 1722, says a cheerful heart is good medicine.

I mean the people that I know that have inspired me and help me. Have a great sense of humor and they laugh and they have fun.

I just want to encourage you to a lot of anger a lot of the stress will leave just lighten up a little bit and enjoy yourself. Number six is take care of yourself.

I mean, this is one that you know you almost don't want to say is that it's going to go over the top.

I'll just say it just so can have good stewardship is you need enough rest need to eat good food.

You need to work out enough to keep your body in shape and when you don't do those things when you don't have very much rest when you eat stuff that's no good for you and you don't do any kind of exercising. You can be angry more often just the way it is less sleep, less energy and I don't think anyone has to be quote a health nut but I think Jan ask yourself if this really is the temple of God first Corinthians 6 1920. If this really is the temple of God and my treating it like God's temple and then you know you to start slow with where you're at and start put more good stuff instead of bad stuff in your body and if you've never jogged or anything you do start walking and just a little by little by little, you take care of yourself and you just find your anger. By the way a lot of people that have not good eating habits and don't work out.

Guess who you're angry at my background in undergraduate grad work I did and in undergrad, but then in just few classes in grad work in psychology and there's this weird thing. The way our minds work.

Is it when people don't like themselves or they feel guilty or bad they feel like they need to punish themselves and we will actually create behaviors to produce outcomes to make the peak equalize things inside of us and so people will will eat and do things that are bad for them to create outcomes that sort of say well this kind of person I am. This is what I deserve. Now that is where does that sound. Take care of yourself.

You matter your important your precious your loved and then finally know what triggers your anger and let me give you acronym here. HA LT Holt when you're hungry, angry, lonely or tired stop Holt don't make a big decision.

Don't go anywhere. Don't try and take on something and and I guess that what I got from the acronym is what I found is when I'm hungry. I'm a lot un-nice to be with right I'm angry when I'm lonely my anger quotient goes up when I'm tired. Ewing want to go there right and so I just want to encourage you some real practical learnings about the your HQ your anger quotients can be your environment. That's what we talked about here.

Plus your perspective will look at that in just a second.

That's times obedience to 426 is in real life.

These are things that will minimize the stress and help you with your HQ. The ED is you minimize stress to get the right perspective, we want to maximize God. You will get a high, clear view of God limited to six things here to maximize or enlarge your perspective this is what I call spiritual wisdom. Number one get right with God, believe in him. Confess your sins, and forgive others.

If white whatever chance you're here and you don't know Christ personally, don't leave this campus until you put your faith in Christ allow him to forgive your sins and give you a piece this indescribable and a power that's within you. If you are a believer here and take to heart submit therefore to God. Resist the devil, he will flee from you. Submission anything. You know the God wants you to do or to act on that you're not is called lack of submission you want to say to God all that I am all that I have is yours.

And if he's been speaking to you about dealing with anger, dealing with your mate marriage dealing with alcohol issue dealing with prescription drugs. Dealing with forgiving someone in the past. Just do it. You'll be amazed things will submit therefore to God. Resist the devil Hill flee from you. The notice draw near to God and he'll draw near to you and I talked about what to mean to draw near to God, cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your heart, you double minded and anything to go on in the passage in this passage later on to talk about. This is the picture of humbling yourself before God so that he can come and lift you up and help you God is not an angry mean God whose arms are crossed with a bony finger in a tapping toe that thinks you have messed up and you're messing up again and he wants to whack you once were.

Your spiritual knuckles and saying get with the program.

He is not down on you he loves you. Peace for you he died for you now.

Certain behaviors and certain stiff arming of God will bring about what I call Hebrews 12 the velvet vice of consequences.

He loves you so much that when you are living in a way this contrary to your best in his word. He will begin to bring consequences into your life and it can come in finances and relationships it can come in and your kids can come in your health. He just wants to say hello I love you and some of us we keep thinking why are all these things happening to just stop and say, is there anything in my life that needs to be realigned. What I know is true in the perspective that you'll get in the piece that you receive some people have someone that's wounded you. You just need the last line you need to forgive them release some God's affair judge. He knows all things. The reason we don't want to release people was well on taking him off the hook to come off the hook. Vengeance is mine says the Lord today. What is God's absolutely fair and is all wise and he knows all things actual possible. He knows why the person did it. What the circumstances were use. I gotta tell you what either on can be the referee. The referee I don't know the whole story. I'm going to give this person to you and here's what's help me God. When I really have been really honest about stuff in me. I do not want to get what I deserve. I mean, not at all to talk about this later, but it is if I'm gonna receive your mercy. Ephesians 432. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God also has forgiven you to get right with God, your perspective, your life a halfhearted partially in partially out relationship with Jesus Christ is the most miserable people on the face of the earth just come clean number two experience God's unconditional love and acceptance when you wake up in the morning at this picture and I try and remember a lot of mornings when my eyes open.

I have this picture of God looking down upon me and him him saying to this the Lord personal God Elohim is in your midst, the mighty one, will save network savings will deliver not just save you from your Senate means he's a deliver. He'll help you. He'll take care of whatever you're facing, he will rejoice over you with gladness, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing is that your view of God is how he feels about you will.

That doesn't come naturally to me. And so one of the things that I do and I don't know how it works but some of us believe that God loves us, but mostly we don't even feel like he likes us twice hard to pray a lot a lot of Christians are like duty and I was right you like walk with God is like no like Castro knows really good for its taste terrible primal pride outings with management read the Bible is really fun. You know you little Italy spiritual liver quiver just now and then it was pretty good. You know God wants you to experience his love. A lot of that goes back to how you were raised in some teaching you God and family background.

Now this is loaded with music. The top causes my heart to remember how much God loves me and almost every morning part of my prayer time.

There's two or three or four songs and sometimes I just tell God I just want to hang out. I don't get anything done. If you want to read some let me know of that program. I usually follow.

I just want to hang and I put this on and I sing along with the songs and I just worship God and all I can tell you is I I get up I feel loved you, no interest I got for coffee. It's not like okay what he wanted, sheer okay when you get intimate okay I love you Mary said you let me do good okay got that off okay plan for the day.

Let's hold hands at 101 great. Let's walk the dog and look up and say, isn't it beautiful okay that when that okay you think we could squeeze sex in here and make a romantic little bit later not important enough.

I made some of this approach. Her relationship when I am with Teresa. I just want to hang I just like being with her. I just like look in her eyes. I like just walk in the park. I like getting up at five in the morning when the moons out. The stars are just coming out when it's cool and sitdown the porch in here and all the birds and sipping on a cup of coffee and just sometimes will sit quietly for 15 minutes sometimes will talk.

I just II like her I love her.

I want to be in her presence. God wants you to experience that there's multiple ways you can do that you can take walks in nature but see, gotta slow down so this is helpful for me so that's a little tool that I use as second tool for me is my view of God was so warped that I have the read portions of this book for about the last 32 years is called the knowledge of the holy by a W toaster and I will never forget hitting the chapter on the goodness of God. In reading the goodness of God is that which disposes him to be kind, cordial, benevolent and full of goodwill toward men.

He is tenderhearted and quick of sympathy in his unfailing attitude toward all moral beings is open and frank and friendly by his nature.

He is inclined to bestow blessedness and I love this. He takes holy pleasure and happiness of his people believe that or or or yours, trying to measure up to some he takes holy when you're happy. God gets happy and I love the line. He says if the whole the whole outlook of mankind might be changed if we could all believe we dwell under friendly sky and the God in heaven, though exalted in power and majesty is eager to be friends with us. I will tell you this is the PF perspective. When you have a big God and you have a big perspective.

Your problems get small, and when your problems are small. You don't get so angry. It's not such a big deal. God is good God is powerful on the object of his love. You know he's got the whole universe under control and I bet he can handle that business deal is get the whole universe under control, and you know they can handle without and with the economy the whole universe in control and you are the object of his affection. So experience God three except two God made you to be Psalm 139 classic passage deformed your inward parts are fearfully and wonderfully made his eyes. Sawyer ends form substance. How do you learn to accept who you are. There's lots of tools. This is the one I'm using right now. I probably have about 30 of these, maybe 40 I started in my last couple years of college.

I don't think it's for everyone. If you don't do this. Don't feel guilty.

In fact, anything that I share that happens to help me that you think that doesn't work for me that I would not do. I have a sneaking suspicion you're not me and I'm not you.

I've heard lots of wonderful things other people do and I think that sounds idiotic.

That done work for me but I used to try. I'm learning to accept me because I'm tracking the journey that I have with God is not formal and sometimes I make a list sometimes write out my prayers. Someone start out got I'm really tired. I'm really bummed out like Brian at all, but I thought I'm checking and here's what's going on in my heart and when I when I realizes the more I process life with him and I realize you know something I was struggling with this two years ago and while you something I really am changing the grace of God is willing and working in and through me for his good pleasure and and you know when you can't see it and you can't track it. I mean, you know, S&P 500 don't they track stuff down, don't they track stuff NASDAQ don't they track stuff businesses don't have quarterly report. Most of us have no idea where am I spiritually where have I been where my going and I wonder where I'm at right now. And sometimes, like this is hardly Leno I get really tired and really discouraged and I just think you know what out in my life going anywhere on the God use me at all and out thinking of you know this was a condemnation journey and I'll go pull out one of these from like five or 10 years ago and this is a sorry dude the road this you know and that's as sincere as he could. I think while and then I'll read I was praying this outlandish prayer, did that while he did that for me. Sure must love me because I know who I am.

And you know it's just just a journey, and by the way. Most of these passages I told you before to help.

You can write them on a card. Don't put too much pressure on yourself, read them over read them over.

Pray them out loud to God, your mind gets renewed want to maximize God trust God in his sovereignty, let him be in control. Looming this Isaiah passage to whom then will you liken me or who is my equal. Lift up your eyes see has created these things he brings out their host the stars by number. He called all these unit 200 billion stars and behind 200 billion galaxies all by name. Who can know the strength of his power. Not one of them is missing. Why do you say of Jacob and Spiegel Israel my way is hidden from the Lord. Have you not known, have you not heard the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. I don't mean I will never throw my brains in the trash and just say oh whatever. But I will do the most rigid rigorous research I can and I will study the Scriptures and I will review everything I can get my hands on. To understand all the what's and the wise of this life, and then when I get done I just realized I don't know anything and I have to entrust the mystery of this life and what God's doing in the world and people I love in me and at the end of the day I have to backup all the way up to this big big P for perspective and say he's good he's holy he's loving he's wise.

He knows all things on the object of his affection. He has a good plan.

I won't always understand it and he is absolute control and he's trustworthy. That will give you a different lens to look through.

You either tend to look at life through the problem.

The 5% of your marriage or 10% you don't like the part of work.

The three or four things that are bugging you, and you tend not to look at the 97. Of all the grace of God and all the things that is done when you look at the problem. Pretty soon you look at people and everything through the problem and you become an angry, resentful, not very fun, sort of the drink in the lemon juice.Christian or you take that and you pull it back and you get a high awesome view of God, and you don't say there's not a problem but you see the problem of you who God is. You maximize him, you minimize stress.

We covered this would be merciful, just you and all I can tell you is as you read Luke six, love your enemies, do good to them God's that way just let people off the hook just given Ali Ali and remember when you play hide and seek. You just need to do a spiritual and free and you got for 11 years I bananas you for 10 you been talking about me bad. Everyone knows you have Ali Ali and freight just taking off the hook wrote your name on a piece of paper offered to God bring peace paper. I'm just done with that.

Just let some people off the hook and the person that will get free. You finally number six, pray about everything and we all you know know this very familiar passage about not being anxious, but in everything by prayer and supplication of making requests known to God and a great promise of this piece and prayer is hard for me. I think it is for most Christians, this little tool. It's called handbook of prayer by Ken boa and what it does is it takes just Scripture personalizes it and will start with praise, renewal, petition, intercession, affirmation, Thanksgiving and just, I mean you can you can just see the short, but you can read out loud a little portion of God's word that's personalized and it leads you and then you can pray in thanksgiving and their sometime confession and some renewal and now I don't like I don't do anything every day.

I mean, I read my Bible and I pray, but sometimes I read a lot. Sometimes I pray a lot, sometimes you not, but like I don't get up with Reese everything go okay now let's that we need to talk for 37 minutes. We need to walk for 14.4 minutes.

We need to have to have meals together and then we need in other words, what's the relationship need, let's let's get out of the three chapters keeps the devil away. Let's talk about a heart that hungers and thirsts for the living God the pants to be in his presence longs to enjoy him and discipline ourselves, and blocks off time not to fulfill a duty to check off a list but to me, to God who is eager to be your friend. You get a high view of God, you will get small problems.

Were you get a different perspective on them and now we go back to where we are your anger quotient equals environment minimizing the stress E plus P perspective maximizing God times, O obey Ephesians 426 be angry.

Don't send the let the sun go down the right's application this message.

Learning how to stop stress before it starts. His series overcoming emotions that destroy have you ever been told you have an anger problem. Has your temper damaged or ruined a meaningful relationship are the frustrations of daily life weighing you down will let me tell you, there's a better way to handle these emotions in this series trip reveals how we all struggle with anger and breaks down the most common ways we express it.

You learn practical biblical solutions to reign in anger before it destroys you read your most treasured relationships. Don't miss how we can be, as Jesus said angry but without sin know if you miss any part of this series, overcoming emotions that destroy want to learn more about our helpful resources with Chip Ingram up is a great way to get plugged in, which if you spent the last two programs explaining the importance of reducing stress, but you know just talking about stress is actually going to stressful. All kidding aside, now this topic is one that really requires some time to think about it. It does David. This is one of those where in the issue is renewing your mind. A lot of people don't understand that a lot of their anger is about 90% preventable, and they learn to live in such a way that create situations that produce stress that violate expectations they have in other words, like traffic will be perfect going to the airport. Therefore, I leave myself no margin and when I'm stuck in traffic and going through security. Why am I everybody I have to admit I used to be. This was many years ago.

The last person on the plane and I thought oh is my life so busy and I realize that my blood pressure and my emotions were so shot because I unwisely just didn't leave margin. I remember I for two years. I went into during a time when I was studying this I was all I was also the guy that was weaving in and out of traffic to say that 30 seconds over 20 miles and I'll always be frustrated. Weave in and out of traffic.

Then I get a red light and some little Volkswagen that was you I pass back there pulls next to me and who God would. This is killing me.

But my point is is that you know you got it yet to train your mind to think differently and different people learn in different ways.

So I literally put an extra half-hour going to the airport I drove for two years in the right lane not passing people. I mean it was like killing me and then I relaxed and listen to music during that time, it changed my commute now people hearing that our thinking I could never do that.

We you can't do that because you don't believe it. And the way to believe it is to renew your mind. If a viewer and audio learner, I would get this message on MP3 and I would put my car and listen to every day for 10 days every day for 10 days and you know what you did for you and the unconsciously start doing that. If I was not an audio learner, I would get the book and I would read this chapter in the book every day is not very long read the chapter and book every day for 10 to 12 days. What I can tell you it's been one or two things you start doing that, you realize all I always cause stress when I come home like this and I asked these two questions, or I cause stress at the dinner table because you know I don't pre-decide what I'm going to cook there's a million ways to prevent stress that leads to anger, but you need to go into training and renew your mind and we would love to help you do that makes trip will help you get the most out of this series for limited time we've discounted all of the resources for overcoming emotions that destroy with the order chips book stream the video teaching download the MP3s or get the small group study guides, we've got you covered. Learn more about the discounts on all of the series resources by going to LivingontheEdge.org or by calling AAA 333-6003 that's AAA 333-6003 or go to LivingontheEdge.org app listeners to have special offers. As we close today's program maximizing God will greatly reduce stress in your life. I went through a number of very specific things very quickly. If you need to see those and get some help. Go to the website LivingontheEdge.org and you can download the notes for free now under each one of those things in the book we actually develop very specific ways in and tell stories and show you how to do it. So if this is helpful. That might be a tool just for our purposes today.

Let me just remind you of the Holt H a LT when you are feeling hungry, angry, lonely or tired. Know that you just gotta stop don't make a big decision if you even feel mildly tempted just realized Holt stop.

That's when really good really godly people do very stupid sinful things that one's worth a whole day today. I member when someone shared that with me.

It was like while I've been in airports hungry hired someone jumps online.

I feel the anger and it is draws will wait a minute Ingram Holt just Holt.

Father I pray for those under overwhelming stress that you help them today to Holt to stop to pray to take five minutes. They don't think they have and open the Psalms and read them out loud and tell you how they honestly feel and I pray that you would call their heart and give them perspective. In Jesus name, amen. Before we close. Let me take just a second and think the generous people who make monthly donations to support the ministry of Living on the Edge of your faithful gifts help us inspire Christians to live like Christians.

Every gift makes a huge difference. If you haven't partnered with us yet.

Would you prayerfully consider joining the Living on the Edge team make a one-time gift or set up a recurring donation by going to LivingontheEdge.org or by calling us at AAA 333-6003 that's LivingontheEdge.org or AAA 333-6003 app listeners top donate and know that were blessed by whatever the Lord leads you to do. Until next time, this is Dave Drew saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge