Purpose FULL - Disagreeing Well, Part 2

I got a question for you. Is there someone in your life, with whom you've had a falling out.

Maybe at your spouse.

Maybe it's a son, daughter, maybe it's someone at work were at church how to make it right how to fix that relationship stay with us today on the welcome to this Edition of Living on the Edge with shipping which is a daily discipleship program. Motivating Christians like the little of our new series called Wyoming in These Uncertain Times Living on the Edge of the Two Occasionally Turned Perspective Challenges Facing Our Mission to Motivate Christians Live like Christians Remains the Same Church Teaching or a Special Guest Speaker, so We Hope You're Enjoying Right Ensure the past Several Programs and If You Missed Any Part of This Series, Go Back and Listen Either LivingontheEdge.org or Via the Shipping Program before We Begin, I Want to Remind You to Keep Listening.

After This Message to Hear Ryan and Shift Share Some Deeper Applications That You Have a Bible Turned out to Acts Chapter 15 for Part Two of Brian's Message Disagreeing Well Second Movement Thinking about Them to Pray and Examine Our Heart and Then Is It True That the People That You Have a Disagreement with That. They Just Keep Coming Back to Your Mind and You Keep Thinking about Them and You Maybe Think about How You Want to Win That Argument or What You Would Say If You Had the Guts to Say It, or All Those Sort of Things Move from Thinking about Them to Praying for Them. Jesus in Matthew Chapter 5 Says Listen Bless Those Who Persecute You. Pray for Your Enemies.

Every Time Was Make a Commitment.

Every Time That Person Comes to Mind When You Pray for Them Who I Wonder What Would Change in Our Hearts. I Wonder What Would Change in the Atmosphere. I Wonder What God Would Want to Do If Every Time They Came to Her Mind, That of Moving in to the Mental Dialogue of All the Things We Want to Say in All the Ways They've Done. See That We Turned It's a Prayer for Them and Then Give the Generous Explanation for Their Behavior. What Is the Most Generous Explanation for Their Behavior Similar to Write down and Examine My Heart. I'm Gonna Move from Thinking to Praying and Instead of Jumping to the Very Worst Explanation.

I'm Going to Give Them the Best Explained to Do for Them. I Am Going to Give Them the Benefit of the Doubt That I Want Them to Have Given Me. What Is the Most Generous Explanation for Their Behavior Do We Have To Be Careful about the Stories Were Telling Ourselves, and We Jump to Conclusions.

We Jump to Judgments, We Jump to Motives Immediately Define the Problem on Your Own. Examine Your Heart Move from Thinking to Praying Given Generous Explanation and Then Finally, If Necessary, Seek Wise Counsel Ryan.

Why Would You Say If Necessary. Because Here's What We Do in Our Culture Today. Much of Our Seeking Wise Counsel Is Trying to Get People on Our Side Trying to Get People to Agree with Us See Life from Our Frame Telling People How Bad That Person Is Scripture Speaks a Ton about Seeking Wise Counsel and Is Your Defining on Your Own If You Find Yourself Stock You Go Okay. Who Is Someone That Loves Jesus That Knows God's Word That Knows Both Myself and This Other Individual Who Can Speak into It and Give Me Perspective You Know When I Try to Bring Something That's Frustrating to My Wife. The Frustrating Part Is, Instead of Her Gone like Yeah Because That's What We All Want. We Share Something Frustrating Norse So-And-So You She Gives Me a Maybe There's Another Reason or Have You Thought about. I Don't Want to Think about That. I Don't Want to Wrestle with That. I Don't Want to Give Them the Benefit of the Doubt so Define the Problem under What Own Navigating Disagreements. Well, First We Have To Define It on Her Own. Secondly, Then We Have To Set up a Time to Talk and Do Not Put It off Set up a Time to Talk. Go Directly to the Person in Our Culture Today We Go Directly to Social Media.

We Go Directly to Our Friend Group Set up a Time to Talk.

Don't Put It off. How Do We Do This We Do This First Face-To-Face Face-To-Face Note Not in a Text, Not in a Voice Text Not in the Marco Polo Not in the DM, Not Even in a Phone Call I Can't Tell You How Many Disagreements Have Gone over Text Messages That Have Been Completely Taken Out Of Context and Just Watching Two People Who Love Jesus Were Going Back and Forth and Then Eventually What Happens Is One Just Stop and Then They Stopped Talking Altogether Go Face-To-Face. In Fact, Psychologists Tell Us This, That the Mere Act of Listening to Someone Humanizes Just Listening to Them What We Know about Communication Is That Our Words Only Make up 7% of What's Actually Communicated 38% Is Our Tone. 55% Is Your Body Language. If You Choose to Communicate Only Via You Know, Text or Email like Nobody Does Email Okay Not Email Whatever Your Taking out 93% of the Communication, and Allowing the Other Person to Fill in the Tone and the Motive in the Judgments Is Our Going to Do to Set up a Time to Talk Were Not Gonna Do It on Tax Were Going to Do Face-To-Face and Then Run As Go Sooner Than Later Sooner Than Later.

Ephesians 426 Says Be Angry. Did You Know the Bible Says Be Angry. Three. Care Don't Be Angry. Don't Be Angry Says Be Angry, and yet Do Not Sin. Don't Let the Sun Go down on Your Anger Do Not Give the Devil a Foothold to the Issue Is, Is the Longer You Stew on Something. What You're Going to Allow Is a Root of Bitterness to Grow in Your Heart, It Will Produce a Heart of Judgment Where Your Moralistic and Right and They're Wrong and Eventually It Creates Division and the Devil. One Sooner Than Later. Take Time Take Process Be Angry and Do Not Sin. Jesus Thinks This Is Such a Big Deal.

By the Way He Says Aleave Your Offering and Then Go and Make It Right Is Such a Big Deal. You Should Skip Church to Make It Right with Another Person like As Were Worshiping and If You Been Worshiping in Your Realizing There's Something Not Right between Me and Another Person, the Spirit of God Is Convicting.

I Need to Walk Away from This Moment and Go Make a Phone Call.

Hey Can We Meet Can We Get Together We We Need to Make a Rights like How Can I Worship God and Not Be Right with You at the Two Great Commandments Interlinked Love God with All Your Heart, Soul, Mind and Strength and Love Your Neighbor As Yourself. The Overflow of My Love for God Is Represented in My Love for Others Set up a Time to Talk. Don't Put It off for What If They're Unwilling That Might Happen As Far As It Depends on You, Be at Peace with All Men.

You Take the Step You're Not Responsible for Their Response.

What If They're Unsafe. First, I Would Say We Classify Unsafe Way to Quickly These Days, so You May Need to Get outside Counsel As Whether or Not There Unsafe or Not and If There Unsafe and You Need to Go through a Process of Forgiving Them Is Great Book Called Forgive and Forget. Really Really Good Book on How to Process the Wounds That We Cannot Then Go and Restore with One Another. Set up a Time Talk. Don't Put It off Number Three Address the Problem. Do Not Attack the Person I Love Paul and Barnabas Here. The Issues Ruby Clear the Issue Is the Issue of Calling As You Catch That Barnabas Is Called to Come Alongside Those to Help Them Reach Their Full Potential.

He Did It Was Paul Nepal Shows up in Jerusalem and Nobody Wanted to Be around Him and Barnabas Comes Alongside and Walks with Them and for Paul to Live out His Full Purpose and Calling in Jesus and Then John Mark Is His Cousin. Obviously He's Got Some No Skin in the Game with Them. John Market He's like I Am Called to Come Alongside and That Is My Calling Paul What Is His Calling His Calling Is to Go Reach Those Who Have Not Heard the Name of Jesus to Go into Territory That Is Dangerous and Share the Gospel and Is the Issue of Calling at Some Point These Wonderful Godly Men, Their Callings Collided and They Could Not Partner Anymore. So Instead of Going You Always Barney Come on Man, Get a Grip. What's up JM to the Desert of This Last Time, and You're Always Given the Second Chances. Come on, Don't You Care about Those Who Don't Know Jesus. You Gotta Make the Hard Choices Sometimes and Barnabas Isn't Gone. Paul, Come on Man You Got a Second Chance. I Gave You a Second Chance. Don't You Care about People Attack Each Other. They Didn't Address, Date, Address the Issue.

How Do We Do That First. We Have To Be Specific Focus on One Issue, Not Many.

Be Specific, Not Vague Everyone Others You Always Be Specific Not Want Many Issues We Tend to Jump to Another Issue When We Feel like We Are Losing an Argument Going and so Were Talking.

We Have One Issue and Then, Well That Starts to Fizzle out, but What about This. What about That and so Addressing the Problem Going to Be Specific, Are Language Matters, Speak the Truth in Love. Ephesians 4 Says in Speaking the Truth in Love Will Grow into Full Maturity. How Do We Do That Was Not Dropping My Truth Is, We Think, Speak the Truth in Love like This Is My Truth. The Truth of the Matter Is Speaking the Truth in Love Means I Gotta Do A Lot More Listening Than Speaking, Be Quick to Listen, Slow to Speak, Slow to Become Angry. Kobe Talks about This in His Seven Habits of Highly Effective People to Seek to Understand before Being Understood Disagreeing Well Means Listening Well, It Means the Truth Is I Have a Limited Perspective and I Want to Hear and No More Speaking the Truth in Love Says When You Did This, I Felt Hurts. I Felt Sad When You Did This, and He Began to Share Things and Compassionate Ways but Clear and Finally Seek Resolution and Extend Forgiveness. Paul and Barnabas Said You Know What Our Callings Aren't a Match Anymore Is Not That's Okay Here's Resolution You Go This Direction Were Gonna Multiply Impact on What to Go This Direction and Were Going to Do More for the Kingdom of God Because We Realize the Ark Were Gonna Lean into Our Calling and Extend Forgiveness.

We Cannot Say I Can't Forgive Them. I Hear That A Lot from Christians I Could Never Forgive Them. And Jesus Calls Us to Forgive in the Same Way That He Has Forgiven Us, Doesn't Mean It's Easy.

But When We Recognize the Depth and the Grace and the Forgiveness of God When Were Overwhelmed by That Reality and Recognize That We Are All Spiritually Bankrupt before a Holy God and Jesus Says I Love You and Your Fully Forgiven Is like How Could We Not Then Extend to Others around Us. So How Do We Navigate Conflict or Disagreements.

What We Gotta Define the Problem Set a Time to Talk Address the Problem. Don't Attack the Person and Finally If Stuck Seek outside Help. Matthew 18 Gets Really Clear on How Were to Go about Disagreements If Stuck, Get outside, out Matthew 18 Jesus Talks about Go Directly One-On-One to the Person.

If Your Stock Get One or Two Witnesses Someone Who Sees the Situation Who Understands Who Can Speak into Still Stuck Go Get outside Help Bring It to the Leadership of the Church You Not Everyone Gets Stuck. We All Get Stuck at Some Point Please Don't Stay Stuck Point. Please, Please, Please Don't Let Your Pride Keep You Stuck in a Relationship Where God Wants to Row You through That Relationship.

You Know, Is about Eight Years Ago Jen and I Were Just Stuck, Just Stuck in Our Marriage.

We Just Kept Hitting the Same Problems over and over Again and We Do It Just Felt like Were on This Loop Right We Can Break out of It and Just over and over. It Just Felt like Men.

If Nothing Changes Then I'm Not Sure Were Going to Make It Not Really Encouraging As a Pastor. It Was through a Process of God Breaking Me to Come to the Moment Were Said You Know What I'm Willing to Get Counseling and We Need Counseling and We Reached out and Got Some Help and for Those Who This Moment, It Just Might Save a Relationship. It Just Might Save about Your Relationship with Your Kids or Your Relationship with Your Spouse or Relationship with the Friendship When You Don't You Know I Maybe outside Help Is I Need to Get a Good Godly Counselor That Can Help Me Navigate and Walk through This Because I Can't Do This and I Am.and We Just Acknowledge It and Is One of the Best Decisions of Our Marriage at the Beginning It Was Hard. The Beginning of Felt like It Was a Bigger Mess Because There's A Lot to Unpack A Lot That I Needed to Work through.

We Needed to Work and through That Process. God Is Done Such Incredible Things in Our Marriage in Our Life.

If Stuck, Seek outside Help Everyone Get Stuck at Some Point. Just Don't Stay Stuck How We Go about Conflict Will Make or Break a Purposeful Life. How We Do This As a Church Business Will Either Enhance or Diminish the Reputation of Jesus Listening to Living on the Edge Chip Ingram Brian Ingram Has Been Our Guest Teacher for This Program Disagreeing Well from His Series, Purposeful Chip and Roy Will Be Here with Us in Just a Minute to Assure the Replication for This Message. Have You Ever Thought to Yourself, Does My Life Matter or What Am I Here for If You've Wrestled with These Tough Questions.

This Series Is for You. The Lessons Were Learning from Ryan Really Speak to the Deep Desire inside All of Us to Know That We Matter and That Were Here for a Unique Reason. Our Hope Is That This Series Will Cause You to Live Your Life Centered on Jesus. Let Me Encourage You to Get Plugged in with the Series and Get Everything You Can Out Of Ryan's Messages. For More Information about Purposeful Discovering God's Calling on Your Life. Just Go to LivingontheEdge.org and If You Have To Miss a Message. Catch up Anytime with the Chip and Remap You If There's One Thing I Hear from Christians A Lot Is How Do You Study the Bible. I Mean, It's so Thick It's so Big. Where Do You Start I Mean for Us Regular People That Are Not Going to Go to Bible School or Seminary. How Do We Learn to Study the Bible in a Systematic Way Where We Can Really Understand It, or Is That Just above Our Pay Grade. God's Word Was Given in a Way for All of Us Regular Ordinary People without Any Formal Training to Really Hear His Voice. Because the Goal Isn't That We Get Smarter about the Bible or That We Get to Be Experts. It's That We Know Him You Know It's Interesting the Scripture Says, the Common People. In Other Words, the Uneducated People Heard Him. Jesus Gladly and We've Done A Lot Of Things, Small Groups, We Obviously Have Lots of Broadcasts and Out Of the Covert Pandemic.

Something Got Burst I'd Never Done It before, but Sort of Almost on a Lark at a Spiritual Experiment If You Will. I Said, Our Team, What If We Set up the Camera and I Got a Couple Coffee and I Just Met with People Individually and to Our Shock, Surprise, Excitement Literally Tens of Thousands of People over the Course of a Year Would Meet with Me Individually and I Literally I Am Going to Take My Coffee and Get Taken Open Bible and I'll Meet with You for 10 Minutes.

I Will Do What I Would Do If You Were Sitting across the Table from Me with a Couple Coffee and Open Bible and for about 2 1/2 Weeks Every Day Will Meet What the Bricklayer Did for Me When I Met with Him in the Mornings, and He Taught Me How to Study the Bible and Meet with God. I Will Do for You What I Can Tell You from the Feedback from Those Thousands of People Is They Don't Think I'm a Great Teacher. The and They Think There's a Great God That They Can Hear from and They Have Confidence to Study the Bible and What's Exciting Is Working to Study Romans Chapter 12 about What It Means to Be a Real Authentic Follower of Jesus. That's My Invitation. I Can't Wait to Meet with You. Thanks Chip What Were so Excited to Share with You This New Daily Discipleship with Chip True Spirituality Based in Romans Chapter 12 Our Heart behind This Video Series Is to Really Help You Dive into God's Word and Discover How to More Intentionally Live out Your Faith for 17 Days.

You and Chip Will Walk through Were True Spirituality Looks like and How You Can Put These Truths into Practice. If You're Looking for the Next Step along Your Faith Journey. Let Me Encourage You to Be a Part of Daily Discipleship with Chip. True Spirituality Preregister for the Study Today and Will Send You Our Friend Lance Witt's Devotional Based on Romans 12 Called Leave Ordinary behind at No Cost.

Sign-Up Now While This Offer Lasts by Going to LivingontheEdge.org or by Calling AAA 83336003 and That's AAA 333-6003 or Go to LivingontheEdge.org App Listeners Just Tap Discipleship. Now Here's Ryan and Ship to Share Some Application for This Message. Ryan I Know so Often When Conflict Arises in a Family Key Relationship and Especially in a Marriage. You Know, Our Temptation Is to Kinda Dig in Our Heels Assume It's Really the Other Person's Problem. What You Say to That Person and May Be Specifically a Wife or Husband Who Feels Stuck.

The Way You Felt Stuck. Who Says I Can't Resolve This and When We Talk, It Always Ends up in a Fight. How Would You Coach Them Either to Get outside Help Especially Is Maybe One of the People Is Not to Open to It. What You Say to That Person Who Just Heard This Teaching, and Says I Want to Get Unstuck, but I Just Don't Know How Yeah Absolutely so Good and You Know As You Were Talking I Was Reminded of One Wedding I Went to during That Season Where Jenny and I Were Just Stock and We Eventually Got Counseling to to Really Help Us and I This Is the First Wedding That I've Ever Gone to I Saddened There's Another Pastor That Was Performing It, and I Started Taking Notes Is like This Is Good Stuff and I Just Started to, You Know, Write down What He Was Saying and in His Wedding Sermon.

He Talked about the Five Stages of a Relationship and This Was Profound to Me in This Season and He Talked about the Honeymoon Stage. The Disillusionment Stage the Misery Stage the Awakening Stage and Then the Intimacy Stage.

And I Remember Just Typing in My Phone As Quickly As I Could to Try to Get These Because Is like He's Outlining the Process That I Feel like I've Been Going through and I'm Stuck in the Misery Stage and I'm Not Exactly Sure How to Move on.

But Let Me Just Define the Stages Real Quick for You. The Honeymoon Stage.

You Know Everything Is Great. You Know the Honeymoon Stage. Everything's Amazing Their Perfect Their Awesome You Know You Say Things like This Don't Change a Thing and Then You Get to Know Them a Little Bit Better in the Honeymoon Stage Wears Often That He's Talking about the Disillusionment Stage, and You Begin to Say Things like This. If Only They Would Change You Know Their Their Spontaneous, If Only They Could Be More Consistent or You Know There They Do the Same Thing Every Day. If Only They Could Be More Spontaneous If Only They Were Cleaner If Only They Were More Organized. If Only They, You Know, and We Just Start to Look at and We Become Disillusioned in Our Relationship, and Then He Said the Third Stages, Then the Misery Stage and What I Love Is As He Walked through the Processes, Then This Is These Are the Stages That All Relationships Go through You Walk through These We Expect Him. That's What Were Going to Experience in the Misery Stage Is You Realize You Can't Change Them. Now Some People When They Realize They Can't Change the Other Person, They Just Opt out for a Another Person but This Is a Powerful Realization Because Much of the Problems for Us in Our Relationship.

Specifically, Our Marriages, with Our Kids Close Friends, Family Is Were Constantly Trying to Change Them. They Are the Focus, the Awakening Stage As You Begin to Ask This Profound Question What Can I Do to Change You Shift the Focus off of Them so They Won't Go to Counseling so They're Not Willing to Meet You in the Middle so They're Not Owning Their Side of It. Okay, Great. Instead of Focusing on How Can They Change and What Do They Need to Do, Begin to Ask the Question What Can I Do to Change.

They're Not Going to Counseling.

I Can Go to Counseling You Know What They're Not Going to Pray with Me. I Can Begin to Pray for Them. I'm Going to Begin to Identify Areas Got Where You Want to Help Shape and Change My Character Shape and Change My Attitude Shape and Change Who I Am and How I Respond.

And by the Way, I'm Just Gonna Love You the Way Jesus Love Me That's Just My Commitment to, and That You Always Have a Great Definition for Love.

Love Is Giving the Other Person What They Need Them Most When They Deserve It the Least at Great Personal Cost. The Awakening Stage.

What Can I Do to Change and Then Finally through That Consistency. Oftentimes You Get to Break through to the Intimacy Stage Where You Become a Team and This Was a Helpful Framework for Me to Understand Where I Was at and What Was Happening and What I Needed to Do to Get Unstuck Just before We Close. I Want to Thank Each of You Was Making This Program Possible through Your Generous Giving 100% of Your Gifts Are Going Directly to the Ministry to Help Christians Really Live like Christians You Found This Teaching Helpful, but You're Not yet on the Team. Would You Consider Doing That Today to Donate. Just Go to LivingontheEdge.org Donate on the App or Give Us a Call a Triple Late. 333-6003 and Let Me Thank You in Advance for Whatever the Lord Leads You to Do Well. Until Next Time for Everyone This Is Dave Brewing Saying Thanks for Listening.

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