Love One Another - How to Connect Deeply with Others, Part 2

You long to be connected to other people, you find yourself getting real close to them, but you don't have breakthrough to feel like there's an invisible wall between you and getting deeply intimately connected with other believers just don't know why that's working to talk about today statement. Thanks for joining us for this Edition of Living on the Edge Chip Ingram drip survival teacher on this international discipleship program and I know that invisible wall trip just mentioned very real to you today broken relationship is keeping you away from church or even relationships in general friendship series called love one another. Looking at a few of the key things that it takes to build and keep healthy relationships. I hope you're settling for the next 25 minutes and strip talked with us about how to do that well open your Bible. If you have one to Romans chapter 12 let's join ship now for part two of his message how to connect deeply with others.

What did Jesus say he said love one another. How as I've loved you sacrificially from the heart tenderly as a family that can happen if we don't know each other.

The clarity as we are members of one another and now the first command be devoted to one another, and asking that second question.

The first one was member you feel connected like that. Do you have a sense that sense of moral responsibility. That sense of from the heart. Are you devoted to other believers in brotherly matter how they're doing.

Did you feel the moral way toward other believers like you would someone is a physical brother or sister relationally or to a mom or to a dad or to a niece or two nephew to see what I want you understand the Bible talks about this the supernatural community he saying that we each move toward one another in connection and I need to own the moral weight of saying if you're not allowed to supply it and I didn't need to be a part of the process of you getting connected in love and so then the question is what is it that keeps you what is it that keeps me from experiencing this authentic devotion, the supernatural community and so with that follow along. Get your pen out if you willing to make it work a little bit what I want to do is just do some things that are very, very simple, but what you know first what keeps us from experiencing this authentic devotion one another one. It doesn't happen automatically business it is not magic God and design the body where you just come to church couple times and all of a sudden something happens inside.

I'm just devoted to everyone in brotherly love and having that way if I can. So is non-automatic multiple times in the Scripture were commanded were reminded to make this the focal point lest we end up with just some sort of intellectual relationship with God and with others. Notice what it says in first Thessalonians 49 10 know about brotherly love have no need to write to you, Paul says, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other and in fact you do love all the brothers throughout Macedonia yet. We urge you, brothers to do so more and more seats nonautomatic. We all need urging second passage first Peter 122 and 23 now that you have purified yourselves by the by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart for you been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable to the living and enduring word of God to get the idea. You have the ability, I have the ability because I have a new birth to love people. But what, there's a command. Therefore, love one another out superficially when it's convenient now authentically from the heart final passage. Second Peter one verses five through seven.

For this very reason, talks about what we already have in Christ. Make every effort to add to your faith goodness and your goodness, knowledge at your knowledge, self-control, and your self-control, perseverance, and your perseverance, godliness, and to your godliness, brotherly love and to brotherly kindness, love, notice the word and to add to add to there certain things God is already done for us.

We cooperate you see it's not automatic.

Learning to love one another takes real effort takes role focus. It takes a plan. In fact, number two, what keeps us from experience authentic devotion one another. Number two. It takes time and effort and intentionality, now I let you know up front. It takes time.

The payoff is awesome. It takes effort and it takes real intentionality means someone is not just an unnecessarily I hope it works this way offered some good stories like this, but as you walk out of the church.

I know I know what the probabilities of someone just stopping using high winds.

Bob, I like to believe authentic relationship about you. You might be little concerned if someone didn't like that.

The fact of the matter is it's probably not quite like that sin require some intentionality on your part.

Well, third reason that we don't experience this kind of authentic devotion to one another is that it is especially difficult for some of us to share the feeling level.

I think there's three reasons are just some of us that this whole emotional side of life. Let alone Christianity makes us nervous. The first reason is because we fear rejection enough.

You've been in relationships somewhere along the line somewhere and you been rejected. What what what we all know you're just like me, you don't have to reject me much all voyaging motion but to get love to take risk.

If you never take risk of rejection. What happens you can be safe and isolated.

Second reason that we some of us it's hard to relate the feeling level as we come from poor family backgrounds. You know, when I say the family of God, and for some people, you will I say God is your father you think you he's anything like my dad, and is implanted in your mind, and it's hard and there's emotional barriers in blocks and it's just hard for you to say move you know hard. I understand that recognize that as the barrier though, rather than unconsciously not know why and and and pull back from people. Third reason it's hard to relate emotionally as we had negative church experiences in some of things I'm talking about. If you been in a church situation somewhere sometime in the past and they talk about loving each other and you got set up and you got burned like this going off the land tenets up like this thinking man and not anatomy here right summary. If you have a hard time with the feeling level recognizes barriers, but don't let these barriers keep you from taking the risk to get loved.

Okay, don't let them hold you back and forth reason we don't experience authentic devotion one another is personal unresolved anger and bitterness enough you realize it, but people with real anger and bitterness in their heart there not a lot of fun to be around you see if you have unresolved anger, whether it's toward a X mate, family member, a boss, a situation and you have unresolved personal issues of anger and bitterness. You are not a fun person to be around and we will probably not get it we will figure out ways that your defense mechanism to keep people away and we want you to know it works. So maybe what you need to do is find out why you're angry. Ask God to help you get some help. The fifth reason that we don't experience authentic relationship. This devotion one another is excessive preoccupation with ourselves. Member good friend. He said he spent a number of years here mad at everyone because they were all bunch of clicks and he said he tried to break into groups break into groups and they're all bunch of clicks is really hacked often so then he went on a trip with the team.

He came back and he said I was a click to artist and realize I was one person click he said.

My focus is always on me.

Why don't they like me. One thing to this one of the do this. He was just what what honesty incredible honesty, a set on that trip, I realized I'm not can be a click anymore.

I'm going to ask what's going on in their lives. He came back he said I experience more love on that trip and it began with. I got my focus off number six.

Failure to recognize our limitations and personal capacities in relationships.

This is the other side. Some people don't experience authentic family love because they're focused on themselves. Some people don't experience authentic family, love, and the body is they don't know they have limitations and they don't know their capacities and so anybody who asked him to do anything. They always say yes and they've got 19,000 superficial relationships there tired the church wears them out there doing this are doing this are doing this are doing this they have no deep relationships and they don't feel connected they look connected. They're not connected their heart shriveled up inside. No one really knows what's going on you. Why they don't. Other limitations and I don't other capacities. Some of you can handle five deep relationships, some to some maybe one or two, some 15 world different figure out years. Dante what it's better to have two or three great deep relationships than 20 or 30 acquaintances when you're in a jam in your heart hurts 20 coins is don't do any good to friends do final reason why we don't experience this authentic love for one another in God's family is idealistic, unrealistic expectations. What that means or to let you down. It means that a great relationship she do what work through conflict you have misunderstandings.

People just flat dropped the ball. They say that in a call back. They don't. They promise you this, they don't, like what I've done now and then see and know in what happens. You take a risk you combine if you these you have little rejection over here negative family background. Here you have enough tears over here and you step out over here we have these idealistic expectations and you try it menisci.

Sleep and work the work I know I know I know what you have done a notion of try no no no no no no you just need to get realistic need to move slowly need to trust God and need to let them work and you need to realize that as I learned even as a seven-year-old. My best friend growing up was my best friend after he put a worm in my brand-new felt cowboy hat and we went to blows in the rain rolling in the grass and I punched him in the face as hard as I could seem to have little impact. He sat on me and I could not get up and we were best friends ever since. Some of the greatest friendships you'll ever have is working through a disagreement, a conflict is part of the process. Now let me give you another seven ways that you can develop deep family godly devoted to one another relationships just to run through but this is where I want you to shift from on listening, I'm evaluating I want you to shift gears. I want to put your little hat on that says you know God. If you would want me to get closer connected. I'm open to that. I'm a little fearful but I'm open to. So as I walk through these seven things specific ways to get involved to get connected so that you can start to give love and receive it. Just keep your heart open, ready first honestly evaluate your level of connectedness and just be honest, mildly, moderately, deeply connected. Choose one. Second, identify the top two factors that are keeping you from building warmer, deeper family relationships number three prayerfully determine which subgroup you might feel most comfortable to see the fact the matter is, is there's a low probability that you get to go from being in a worship service to best friends with someone you know any.

Fourth, prayerfully decide on a specific time event or activity that would allow you to take the next step toward devotion and connection, and if possible ask someone you know to go with you wherever would be. Choose the time the event make a pre-decision and go for five join a growth group or ministry team for a specified limited time notice on getting a chocolate six weeks eight weeks for that time and within that time knowing a sale. Why are you quitting and acquitting you fulfilled your commitment what no guilt.

If you like it let you sign up again.

Urine six. Be friendly, even if it doesn't come naturally.

What can I say there's an amazing thing.

Try putting a smile on your face reaching out to someone and saying hi amazing things have happened. Finally, seven ask God to let you find someone who's feels less connected than you this week and love when you do something magic happens spirit of God shows what did Jesus say love one another. How even as I have loved you.

Question number one. You want that kind love join the family fear here tonight. You're not a believer in Jesus Christ, you can be loved. You can be a part of God's family. Secondly, do you want to experience more of God's law. If you already part of the family then be devoted to one another in a specific tangible way begins, and God will show questionable about that kind of love is the one you're still thinking about what you know we'd love to help you make your commitment to Jesus and become part of God's family.

You can reach us at triple late. 333-6003 that's AAA 333-6003.

We'd love to talk with you would also get a free resource in your hands that will help you take a few next steps as a new believer if you'd rather go to the new believers tab on our website LivingontheEdge.org or tap special offers on the app will find that same resource.

I hope you give us a call today.

Now here's chip with a quick thought. I'll be right back in just a minute with some practical application to today's message but as we went through this message. It reminded me of a great quote by one of my mentors prop Howard Hendricks.

He would always say you cannot impart what you do not possess. No words if you're not experiencing God's love. God's forgiveness. God's life. You can't impart that to someone else. So let me ask you, just before we move on. In today's program who is God asking you to love right now that it feels impossible or to be maybe a little bit more honest. You don't want to okay right we all get there.

You let you know their name back to might might be married to them were there in your family or someone at work you know God wants you to love them and either you can't or you don't want to.

Well, you have to receive God's love and God's power. How does that work will what we knows it obviously comes by the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit uses the raw material of God's word, and so being in God's word even when you don't feel like it is critical, but what I find is so many people don't read something in the Bible close the Bible and 20 minutes later they couldn't tell you, even what they read, let alone apply at one of the tools that is been most helpful for me and those that I know who walk closely with God is they have a journal that is open and as they read God's word they write in their journal. This is what God is saying to me from this passage.

This is what I'm going to do today. I often put a little box next to mine so that when I do it I come back and check that box. Here's what I want you to know you can't impart what you don't possess. You need to experience God's love and I don't mean just emotional. I mean, you need to experience his truth going into your heart and your life renewing your mind. And as you interact with his word and as you get a pen out and actually write some things down what you can see is he's going to speak to you in ways that will empower you to then love others. We put together a tool. It's a beautiful 200 page journal with some helps inside of it that will help you experience God's love in a deeper way. If you think that would be helpful.

Let me encourage you to get that tried out while it's easy to be excited about our new prayer journals because there's so well done there beautifully bound in a couple of different colors with embossed gold or silver trimmings and inside it's even better chips given you a few of his journaling tips.

There's a dedication page. If you want to send it as a gift and there's tons of room for you to do your own personal journaling for limited time, our brand-new prayer journals are discounted so we hope you'll check them out today. You'll find all the details of LivingontheEdge.org app listeners will find it when you tap special offers and for more information just give us a call at triple late. 333-6003 without. Here's chip with a final thought.

It's amazing isn't it. God has made you, and he's made me to be deeply connected with one another.

You notice I gave some very practical specific steps about how to do that and so as I close. If you have a pen or pencil want to grab it.

If you can and let me walk through the steps again. I know I went pretty quickly as you listen, I want you to listen for what specific steps could you take this week to make a real difference in your life. Number one.

Evaluate your present level of connectedness and God's family, whether you're involved in a church or parachurch or a small group on a scale of 1 to 10. Ask yourself how connected am I second identify the top factor in keeping you from warmer deeper biblical relationships. I went through them in the message. Nothing back.

Is it the fear of rejection is at the fear of taking risk. Is it a former bad church experience. I don't know what it is but identify it.

You can't cope with it and move through it into you identify what keeps you from going deeper third prayerfully determine what small group of believers you are going to get involved with where would you feel most comfortable.

Got to identify this week and say to yourself, you know I'm going to go to that midweek finger. I'm going to join one of the small groups of the church were one of the men's groups or women's groups or couples groups. But you have to identify what the next step is going to look like fourth. Are you ready this week.

Decide on a specific time or event or activity that will cause you to take the next step and you know what, if you need to have someone to go with you and then go and try it for six weeks. Don't try once and say all that when a good experience for six weeks go to that small group or that midweek for that activity and say Lord I'm gonna be here for six weeks only get connected. Help me fifth, be friendly, even if it doesn't come naturally.

I mean, try it like smile, stretch out your hand. Even if you are an introvert reach out step out. Be friendly to people. You'll be amazed at the response and then finally, this is the kicker walk around this week and see if you can't find one person that looks more lonely, more lost more disconnected than you and see if you couldn't help them get connected and what you'll find is an amazing thing happens to them and to you.

God bless you and go for your great way to stay engaged and connected to chip and Living on the Edge is with the chipping roadmap will get free access to all of chips recent messages is message notes and much more. Not only that, but it couldn't be easier to call or email directly from the F overture five. Everyone here, this is Dave really saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge