Love Sex and Lasting Relationships - Wake Up World! There's a Better Way to Do Relationships, Part 2

If you can ask God.

Lord wants the best way to attract a person of the opposite sex in a way that would really please you and really work out for me.

Would you like to hear his answer. Let's today stay with thanks for joining us for this Edition of Living on the Edge with shipping Living on the Edges of international discipleship ministry featuring the Bible to get your preps up a series called love, sex, and lasting relationships tell you this is powerful life-changing based on the calls listed in the previous programs suggest going to our website LivingontheEdge.org or downloading the chipping remap will have free access to all of the messages in the series trips a directed message notes and all the special offers the go with.

If you have a Bible open it out in Ephesians chapter 5. Let's join Chip for part two of his message. Wake up world there's a better way to do relationships number one, a revolutionary way to think about human sexuality will be required okay if you can answer the call and be a part of a second sexual revolution you got to think completely differently about sexuality number one sex is sacred is not casual sex is about knowing and communication when the Bible says Adam knew Eve and then they had offspring the very interesting Hebrew word it has to do about knowing and caring in connection when David sinned with Bathsheba word for use for sex.

There is David lay with Bathsheba as a transaction, she was used sex is sacred and holy is not casual, was never intended to sell stuff or get us excited sex is sacred in all things sacred mystery is not hooking up. There's a there's there's a mystery it's not some. It's not about just bodies coming together. There's a there's a mystery of knowing there's something that happens in your soul in your heart, and communication in growing the relationship were the culmination of that in the physical act of sex is God looks down from heaven, and says this is a life giving life uniting act that typifies what's happening in the hearts and souls of people bound them together and is a testimony of Christ relationship to the church. He writes in Hebrews chapter 13 marriage is to be held in high honor among all and the marriage bed is to be undefiled in other words it's sacred it's holy and any ads for fornicators and adulterers God will judge sex and worship work so closely aligned. The second is that sex isn't just sacred and you need to teach your kids it's sacred but serious is not just a little thing on the side and you do so. Your wild oats and it really doesn't matter what you think and it doesn't matter how you dress and its serious lesson with the Scripture says in first Corinthians, he says, do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ.

In other words, you belong to Christ. Shall I take away the members of Christ and make them members with a prostitute, but may never be or do you not know that the one who joins himself to prostitute is one body with her for the Scripture says, quoting from Genesis.

The two shall become one flesh, but the one who joins himself to the Lord is one in spirit with him.

Application flee immorality.

Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man or woman sins against his own body. Paul me speaking to this group and this society that coming. They don't need the Internet. It's everywhere. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who is a new whom you have from God, and that you're not your own, for you have been bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and so you know what that starts with me, sex is sacred and sex is serious, and then as a parent I teach my kids that early on where the interesting thing happened at the church and I don't know the people I don't know the names and I don't mean it offensively, but it was ironic to me.

I just thought it was so so sad actually ladies been driving by on the sign out front for the series. It says love, sex, lasting relationships in she came to the church and doesn't go here and designate our score anything just was. I I write so upset that she says every time I drive by that I have elementary school kids and they're asking me what sex and this is just so inappropriate and she's mad and I have some other mothers and were mad and what kind of church are you and you and I thought to myself, I would've paid someone I'd paid someone 50 bucks to get my four-year-old five-year-old seven-year-old or 10-year-old asked me hey dad, what sex so that early on I can sit all son or daughter while it's a it's an amazing thing. It's sacred in its serious it's holy and it's this way where God brings about life and it's it's it's it's built-in of attraction to men and women and and when you get older I'm can explain it all is one of the most amazing and holy gifts God forgives and we talk about a lot more as you get older and by the way, I will tell you a four-year-old who think that sheet what what what happens is we don't say anything and when there nine they see something you don't know about when they're 11. There are to talk about stuff that you thought doesn't happen 11 by the Condor.

13. Their view is sex is already completely distorted. You get a teaching early and often, I was talking to the team. It's leading her high school group right now and in midweek. They ask all the kids so have you talked about this with your folks. Is there, in evolved in the same series right now, and over half of a high school kid said yes and and any civil. How many of you initiated the conversation. Two of them did is wow way to go in others.

He said how I did your parents initiate conversation.

They all said yes and I love the sea since it will have it go mean honestly visiting the something was kinda weird enough talk about love and sex with my folks, but it was great. It was great. They long to hear. The revolutions can occur and then there's applications. All of that is not dirty holy motto. If you don't teach them and you don't have boundaries and pre-decisions. I came across a study by the University of Utah and when a when a girl starts dating her people stood when a girl starts dating age 12. There's a 91% predictability that she will be involved sexually before she's out of high school. She starts dating at 13. It goes down 56% had 14 is 53% at age 15, 40% at a 16 about 20%. Interestingly also teams that come from homes that are not very or very strict parents compared to moderately strict word. The people who were the most sexually active. So if you not strict at all your kids be sexually active toward you try and control your kit sex don't do that if you ever do that.

I will tell you what it's like all it must be really some great if you're that uptight about we get a think differently about sex. Number two, a route revolutionary way to attract the opposite sex. Do you think differently, but we got attract them differently. The world says sex appeal, physical attractiveness, seductive dress, focus on bodies. We live in a world I don't say this sort of in a sanctified way that all attraction is around Bresson biceps and you have kids, and single people in Austin people to my divorce and getting back into running.

We think it's all about the externals and saying it's not an intellectually say well I know that's really not what the real issues are, doesn't bring about any changes.

I was with a guy that did a lot of work and consulting for mergers and acquisitions, and he developed the whole theory in use with multiple companies about mergers and acquisitions of what makes for partnerships and why they fail and why they don't and he taught me one lesson. It was really great when he said ship. Here's what you need understand about when people or are working with one another and you're trying to pass on values and what's going to work and what's not. Do not listen to their words only listen to their behavior. Just listen to their behavior. He said all were in this words were sold out. Whatever it takes. You do this will do that.

He goes because just I just completely eliminate people's words listen to their behavior. Let me ask you parents if I just listen to your behavior about what you're communicating with your kids by your lifestyle. If I listen to just the behavior single people in this church. What you're communicating about how you're attracting the opposite sex if I just listen to your behavior of those of you are widowed or divorced and you cut it back in the game and where you go and what you're doing how you're trying to attract the opposite sex are you doing it God's way or with this defunct model that is for most of its it's the only thing we knew, listen to God's way in first Peter chapter 3 it's addressed to women, but the application is absolutely for both sexes is a group of women that were trying to figure out how can I get my husband on board and nagging hasn't worked and so the apostle Peter writes your adornment must not be merely external the breading of the hair, the wearing of gold jewelry for the putting on of dresses, but let it be with the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable quality of the gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the side of the Lord and basically what he saying in that day's anything dressed really super seductively all and that day I guess we do that now to and so are you ready I want to give you a game plan to attract the opposite sex and a game plan to teach your children how to attract the opposite sex.

And so's I owe you and that you know what I owe you is right. You write that out and say I OU you give that person that I owe you so this is an IOU that you owe to God. This is an IOU that you owe to yourself and this is an IOU that you owe to that person or that partner is to be the person that you want the I stands for.

You attract the opposite sex inward character inward character. You need to be the kind of person that you want to attract.

You need to be the kind of person you want to attract you are looking for a loving kind person who keeps their word whose other centered and who is generous, you need to be that kind of person you need to teach your kids the best way to track a godly kind unselfish, high integrity, faithful, loving, loyal person is to be a faithful kind. Love right so you always get what you advertise for and we got we got our little girls and are not so little boys inundated by the world system inundated by commercials wearing and dressing and acting in ways that attract exactly what they get on. Think about your daughter and think about 18-year-old in the room on think about a single person is 26 and unit to be sexually pure means you don't get very many dates I'm talking about a divorcee who is 51 years old and you're lonely and you're hurting it seems like the only men Christian or not say unless we sleep together.

I don't think I want to date you and everything in your goes well and there's a way that seems right to a man or woman, but the end thereof is staffed so the way we attract this first inward character. The second is outward modesty outward modesty and you know what it goes. Both directions you know and how much, how many guys in the young guys are always buying once you're too small and how many girls realize that you know if you where love to get a lot of attention and people just can you hear me recruit and train wrecks inside the church and they say why can't we watch this movie. Why can't we go here. Why can't we do that and you know what I was as not been a pastor of all these grown kids now and here we we made some pre-decisions and they just thought I was terrible and when I said you were not doing that here or when we got up and left a movie because of some of the images it came on it was like not my dad is nuts and all the other kids in the church can do this and you know they do that and I said you know what I just love you more than they love their kids nonserious. That's what I would tell him they didn't like it but he was apparent. Here's the deal you to decide whether you want to be popular with your kids can be their best buddy and friend and then have all the fallout or be a dad or mom who loves them and gently models and tells them the why and and consenting.

I know it's difficult but we do not start dating till this age and were not gonna look at that kind of stuff were not do that because guess what, there's a beauty that you don't want to miss and the way you can attract that kind of person is to have inward character outward modesty and then are you ready for this last one you've got have upward devotion. You gotta be a young man or young woman or single person or mom or dad or not so young person that you know what upward devotion that this was a journey for me and I've tried to share it. Along the way and be honest about it but one when I finally begin to walk to the process of what God really wanted. I made a commitment that number one I was going to find a girl that when my relationship with her that she would inspire me to walk with God it wasn't. It wasn't like well if you Christian will she sort of the Christian or she goes to church work and I think God's word of the part of their life. You want to track them by being a person of great character and you want to help your kids become people that that dress with modesty sharp. I don't mean old-fashioned not only legalistic. I don't mean weird I mean modest winds is mystery and finally where there's an upward devotion where what you help your children, speaking to parents here, especially in and for you is a you know what, if if you're not in God's word.

If you don't talk to God. If you not some sort of a small group. No one can do this alone. And so the revolution is gonna start with thinking differently. It's attracting differently, and third is relating differently.

You gotta relate to the opposite sex in a different way.

There's a revolutionary way to relate to the opposite sex, not as an object to capture or even a person to find not for romance or for recreation, but I want to give you three pictures of how to relate to the opposite sex. Number one is a friend start their I don't care if you're 55, 62, or 16 start with being a friend. Jesus said this John 1513 greater love has no one than this, that you lay down your life for your friend the moment you make it romantic the moment you pair off the moment you go down that path. Now you start posing minutes.

Gotta be about the external the real you doesn't show up you be a friend was someone teach your kids all I'm interested or I like him or I like her great become friends hold back the emotions pulled back the romance. The percentage of people that when they go steady this Utah study when they begin to go steady in ninth grade. Those who go steady separate skyrockets.

They're not ready to peril become friends unpopular helpful second.

Not only become friends become family members. The apostle Paul is writing to a young pastor and I'm assuming that because he's a young pastor.

He has hormones like everybody else. And Paul writes to Timothy and says do not sharply rebuke an older man is talk about family relationships in the church but rather appealed to him as a father to the younger men as brothers of the older women as mothers and the younger women as sisters and all purity. Teach your kids and you act like become friends and and treated like a brother and a sister and is it what's it really mean will how do you hug your brother and sister you hug and don't you, but there certain ways you never hug them right. You express affection to a brother or sister will you express affection and you touch and don't you, but there certain places in certain ways you would never touch your brother sister right using which of these have huge implications. That's the point. You don't defraud you don't defile what what would happen if you learn to be friends and I'm gonna treat this person like a brother or sister in Christ, so that what I would realize is that if sex is sacred and sex is serious.

I realize that this may not be the person for me, but their experience with me should prepare them for that right person instead of me being a bad memory of someone who exploited them. Third you track them as a follower of Christ. Hebrews 1024. Consider how to stimulate one another to love and get the so you're asking yourself this. This is what you want to teach your kids and this is what we want to do your interrelationship your friends as your friends, your family members and then then God begins to eat. There's a real traction.

You begin to build a relationship. It may go somewhere.

It may not, but your behavior your speech and your time together. When you quote break up or realize this isn't the right person this girl would say for this guy would say you know we dated for 18 months or you know my relationship with her and that 18 months caused me to grow spiritually, more than any other relationship other than maybe with my parents were in the small group of guys on, and I will tell you what. If you think differently. If you attract the opposite sex differently. And if you relate to them differently. There is a vision.

There is a picture and it is so beautiful and by the way, no matter where you're at, you can stop and turn and God will forgive and he will restore and he can get you on the right track but you gotta say Lord not now my way on your way. I entitled this wake up world there is a better way to do relationships and I want to close with a story and then I want to let you know that when I close with the story. Everyone in this room knows you know what if I'm to do it God's way is probably something I need to stop something I need to start any of the trust, but as I was teaching this material.

This is the email that I got. I accepted the Lord in high school so far for Christ to college in my mid-20s and then I fell away big time. I got involved in three consecutive relationships of women were gotten pregnant with you three abortions.

Wouldn't you know it. All three relationships dissolve.

Soon after, here I am now greatly blessed in a marriage to a Christ centered woman we been unable to have children of her own been devastating to me in light of the fact that I paid with my own money to kill three babies that were my own was sexed on no question.

Was it worth it. I can't scream loud enough. No, like you said the deepest desire in my heart was a committed lasting relationship. And I didn't get that through any of the flings at work. Thankfully, the spirit finally interceded and gave me an option and he gives his name all will make it up. Bob your fork in the road.

You can either keep the same path you're on to your continued detriment. Or you can get your heart right with God. Your choice. I ran to God without ever looking back. And I've been in fellowship with the Lord, with believers ever since Crossroads crossroads. What you need to do to stop what you need to do to start the begins with the decision. You don't slide out of sexual there's a little farm houses to people gave me a picture that said that's what I got on some this application. Just a reminder this message.

Wake up world there's a better way to do relationships is from his series, love, sex, and lasting relationships in these messages strictures the candid truth about romance sex the way God designed it and true love because we long to love and be loved. This series will help you discover God's way to make a good match grow in intimacy and build a love that lasts a lifetime for a limited time, resources for love, sex, and lasting relationships are discounted. The MP3s are always free to order your copy or to send it to a friend visit us online at http://livingontheedge.org or tap special offers on the app for additional information. Just give us a call at triple late.

333-6003 will chip this is the last program of the series and were feeling pretty passionate about doing whatever we can to get the content of these messages into the lives of his many young people as possible.

You're making a very special offer but it ends today. Would you give folks the details absolutely debris doing something a little bit crazy if you're the leader of a high school group, a middle school group, a college small group and you would say to us. I will take my group. Through this we will give you up to 10 study guides absolutely free with the video that you can stream my heart breaks when I see so many godly young people get involved in the kind of relationships that go south and destroy the relationship with Christ were going to do what ever we can to help you and those you love in your junior high, high school or college ministry you contact us you commit to do it on the honor system and we will give you up to 10 study guides in the video absolutely free. Now I want you to know today is the very last day of this offer. If God has led you to lead your group through this, let us know and act on it today. Great ship. Thanks for that. Okay so let me give you the final call if you're the leader of middle school, high school or college age youth you commit to taking your group through the series, love, sex, and lasting relationships will send you up to 10 free study guides with video streaming, but this offer is only good while supplies last. Today, so we hope you'll get in touch let us help you get this content into the hearts and minds of the kids you care about.

For all the details, visit us online at http://livingontheedge.org tap special offers on the app or give us a call at triple late. 333-6003 as we close today's program and wrap up the entire series.

I hope the goddess spoken to you, and literally giving you a fresh desire to do relationships his way, and of all the things I've counseled so many people over the years and I would say 90% of our about relationships that are working whether it's a dating relationship or whether it's a marriage relationship and you know God has a plan, but here's my question.

Do you really want a love that last sex.

That's exciting and holy in a relationship that is fun and meaningful, and where there is real connection and intimacy, and if so, all I want to tell you is listening to this or even reading the book is great exposure and it's a completely different paradigm. I mean God's formula versus Hollywood's formula is like night and day one works in one doesn't. But here's what I would challenge you if you're serious about that if you really wanted to happen.

It's gonna take a commitment and the things that get down deep in your heart to become convictions rather than I ought to do it that way, but under pressure. I probably won't is getting with a group of people and saying let's all get the book. Let's read a chapter each time and will do the questions at the back and get really real, or maybe better.

You know, get the small group resource.

Watch the video and then sit down together and talk about what would it look like you to a group of gals are a group of guys who are or you know, maybe some couples or if you're thinking about where you want your junior high years high school or college students to be in the future. This is something that you have to teach them what I find is you long for it to happen, but is not going to happen in our culture even in the church. If it's not taught, discussed and applied God's dream for every relationship is intimate, deep love relationship that last emotionally, physically, psychologically, here's my challenge. If you really wanted lean in and do the work and gotta show up just before we wrap up if you heard the offer earlier in the program you know are in the process of providing free study guides to every youth leader who agrees to take the group of middle high school or college students through the series, love, sex, and lasting relationships with those resources don't come at no cost. If you believe in the mission of Living on the Edge helping Christians live like Christians becoming a financial partner would be a great way to be on mission with us, you could be part of helping those leaders get the truth of God's design for relationships to as many young people as possible. We'd love to have you join us to send a gift or become a monthly partner. Just go to LivingontheEdge.org tap donate only up or give us a call at triple late.

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Your generosity is always appreciated over all of us here, this is Dave thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge