Love Sex and Lasting Relationships - Wake Up World! There's a Better Way to Do Relationships, Part 1

You long for deep rich. I mean, intimate relationship with a person of the opposite sex with actually last a lifetime.

Me that God's plan. That's God's will talk about something hard to navigate in our day will today and share with you how that can be your future. Welcome to this Edition of Living on the Edge with your finger Living on the Edge features the Bible to shipping on this daily discipleship program nature continues his series of sex and lasting relationships with a very personal story which changed his approach to love sex as a young single teaching time trips always bring some additional thoughts about this out sure to stay with us will extort your bill for talk from Ephesians chapter 5. Wake up world there's a better way to do relationships. I want to share a experience I had just call it a night that I'll never forget. It was one of those that change the course of my life in this whole area of love and sex, and lasting relationships. Let me try and picture it. You know we all have a handful of memories where it's literally like etched in the back of your brain and when you think of it, you don't even have to try and remember it. The images are so clear because it was profound. I was the sophomore in college. I've been a Christian about two years I begin to read the Bible in the mornings and I got the Bible study with some guys. I actually saw God radically change my life and yet the biggest war raging in me was I knew God wanted me to be sexually pure and I certainly didn't grow up thinking.

Pure thoughts are viewing the other sex, and appropriate ways. And so after two years of walking with God. I was just in the midst of this battle and as many of the kind of things I've heard from you. I've had people all over after every service in our more just tell me you know I really want to live that way. I really get it.

I understand that you just don't understand.

I'm trying as hard as I can I fail I fail I fail. I try not to logon or I know I'm not supposed to and I don't want to go to this but I just do it and that's where I was living in this couple didn't know it but it's a little small college I went to, and maybe 3 to 5000 students up in the mountains you would drive about 1/2 hour and then you come to a clearing and you would see on this huge plateau. This beautiful college like out of a storybook and a small little town.

The college had one when I say small.

There was a little red church a little white church to bars and one gas station and the gas station was only open for you, like a few hours a day and so I mean, you were kind of stuck up on this little place in and so getting a home cooked meal was like awesome and very rare and there was this young couple looking back they were young.

They were kind old at the time because I was like 19 maybe 20 and they said at church tonight.

I started were started going to church, which is really new for me and they said would you like to come over for dinner. I mean answers, of course, and I'm in cafeteria food or home cooked meal and so I got my little green Volkswagen and I drove that is seven or 8 miles took about 20 minutes is West Virginia. All the roads are like this and then I came over a hill and there was there little house and literally those of you that can remember or even know who Norman Rockwell is. It's just like a snapshot, a picture of a Norman Rockwell there's a little barn that need some paint a little white you know farmhouse a little gravel driveway and I pull up and I sit down and I walk into this couple that at the time I felt were kind old. They were late 20s early 30s and I thought what could they ever know and so we can we come in and I didn't think about it the time, but they were they were probably pretty, for he was actually a a farmer and doing a couple little odd jobs and there had been a lot of rain but everything we ate was cooked dinner right out of their place in and so we we came in and that's we came in there was, I noticed there weren't doors so II guess didn't have a lot of money and they had a like a line in sheets that they made for curtains and that's how they would sort of open and close little bit of privacy was very small little farmhouse and then you go into the kitchen and some of you can remember. Remember that the aluminum type legs and sore the tables with the plastic cost of the floral patterns coming.

That was it. It was just like retro retro it if you could get it now be super cool probably with a lot of money on eBay and so I sat down and my elbows got kinda sticky and I took him often so Dave and Lanny and they had a four-year-old and a two-year-old and they were just a little bit ahead of me they been a Christian about three and half years knee for about two and they were just beginning this journey and you know that we we sat down and it we had to cheat cooked a great meal and you know they don't know. I've got this battle inside and I feel like you know everything fun.

God says no tonight like Jesus loves me any change my life that you know we could just renegotiate the Bible to like about seven commands or even eight but they were like two that were like are you kidding me God you gave me hormones certainly don't expect me to and he said certainly I do it's always felt like God was on this side and I was on the side and there was this big barrier and through these things. I was supposed to do, no matter how hard I tried, I always failed and in the midst of that I'm sitting at this table with this older couple who I do. I think probably don't know much about relationships. By now, and I notice how she looks at him and I notice how he kinda helps out picks up the dishes and as were talking and we talked about everything in and I noticed that you can reach over and sort of held hands and you can see this energy between them and I thought what like maybe married people still know really like each other and there was the all I can tell you there sort of like a beauty in this little home and in these two little kids and then they said excuse me. Dinner was done in which we pick up the plates and wheat were learning something were trying this out with our kids and so would you mind just waiting here will be back and be back. They went like 10 feet and then they open the little and of sheet and there was one twin bed that both kids slept in little kids and Dave got down, and then Lenny got down, and then a four-year-old and a two-year-old. I mean it's like Norman Rockwell again and they all folded their hands and Dave just told a very brief kind of story about Jesus and then that the mom folded each of the little kids hands and then Dave prayed and then the mom prayed and then I don't know if you've ever I mean if you cannot, I didn't grow up as a Christian I never even open the Bible, but when you hear like a four-year-old dear Jesus, thank you for my mommy and my daddy. Thank you for this man who came to our house and thank you for loving us in the two-year-old was like blah blah blah blah blah Jesus a man and you know it's not like I'm trying to eavesdrop. I mean there's only a sheet between us right in and they came in and tell you something happened I just it was like you know you grow up with dreams, and I was a young man with dreams I thought something somewhere like to get married.

And someday somewhere I like to find someone that mean was, like the way this couple got along and someday somewhere I may not.

I like cats and kids and was just like God gave me a snapshot, but there's like a short little movie and then after I saw that something inside was like I couldn't even verbalize it for Scott.

That's what I want someday and then they came back in and score she made homemade apple pie Allah mode and we drank coffee and you know we talked at all like all I could think of was, these people don't have anything, and they've got everything that they don't have anything that I got everything that I really want and I'm going up on that campus and you know with the basketball team evaluating girls and feeling guilty and when I get my behavior right in my thought life is in the trashcan and and a member got my little Dragon I'm driving and I thought you and I just can have a talk with God. I was learning I learned you could pray with your eyes open.

I did know that I learned he could talk into anywhere. I didn't know that either, so I'm trying out all kinda new stuff so I'm in my little Volkswagen God.

That's what I want. Okay, I just want you know what I just saw that's what I really want and I didn't know anything about the Holy Spirit. I do know how we work and I know I brings thoughts to your mind is not audible voice was clear as I could ever hear anything from God.

I heard the most gentle voice chip. That's what I want to give you. That's what I want to give you that's a picture of love and sex, and lasting relationships in chip, you think all these barriers about no sex before marriage and barriers about not living together and and barriers about your what you watch, what kind of movies what you read and you know how you look at a woman or you do you really think like all those are like prohibitions to keep you from something good chip.

What I want you to know is those are the boundaries that all the exploiting and hurting and negative and pain and disappointment and feeling used in shame. I don't want you to have any of that. I want you to get what you saw and do you think it's an accident you think that people just walk up to a random college student and ask them over for dinner.

Can't you understand, I orchestrated this this was my gift to you. I know you're trying hard in failing willpower doesn't bring about sexual purity where there is no vision the people perish, but happy are blessed are those who keep the law where there is no revelation to actual Hebrew word is translated vision, but it's where there isn't a revelation of truth or word from God.

The people go unrestrained if we don't have a clear picture of God's way and the beauty of it, and what he wants for us, then what we do is we try our own way to get those needs met. We all have a need for love will have a need for sex will have a need to be connected and if there is no revelation. If there's not truth from God, and we don't see the beauty of it. We try and do it our own way and the writer of Proverbs would say there's a there's a way that seems right to a man, but it ends in death.

And that's how most people do love that's how most people do sex and that's how most people's relationships don't last and what I want to tell you is when there is revelation when there is a picture. The reason this change. My life is something that happened after I had this talk with God. I still remember coming onto the campus and I lived in the storm way down this hill is a super steep hill is always memory had to downshift my little you know Volkswagen and I got right in the middle and I can. All I could tell you. To this day. This is where I stopped and I heard God's voice that I just started memorizing Scripture.

So I did know the Holy Spirit did this at all. I did know that when you memorize Scripture. He can bring answers to your prayer anytime because it's in your heart, and saw as I'm coming down and I'm wrestling with. I don't know if I can buy all that and got I really wanted but Romans 832 came to my mind, vividly, powerfully, he that spared not his own son but gave him up for us all, how will he not freely give us all things, and it was one of those.

I'm a pretty logical guy so is like to. I took you there. There's the picture that's what you can have all the barriers are to protect you, so you get that not to keep you from something good and if I gave my son for you to demonstrate how much I love you. Why would I withhold any good thing and here's what I want to tell you all my self effort in my thought life. All my cell effort on dates all my soul effort to be certain sexually pure failed when I saw that picture and it was God wants to give me that I begin to read the Bible with new eyes. I begin to look girls in the eyes instead of other places I begin to make pre-decisions about dates I decided to kinda girl I would date and who I wouldn't date it was a revolution happen in my heart and it didn't happen because I was trying really hard to be sexually pure. It happened because I got a picture from God about the beauty and the goodness in the plan that he has for every one of you and me.

Because if you take that verse and flip it around where there is revelation where there is a word from God, where there is a clear picture of his goodness and his love and his beauty and what he wants for you. Guess what you'll be restrained because all of us are willing to have some delay gratification for something great.

If I told you all you know everybody here vitals okay today if you really mean. You need $1000 and you thousand dollars. I will give you $1000 when you walk out the door if you will wait one year will give you hundred thousand signing up for the thousand ball notetakers and end and the motivation wouldn't be all have to wait for your have to wait for your have to wait for years. The motivation would be a thousand verse hundred thousand.

This is like easy math right, you would be highly motivated Ranger life and you would probably be on time and get here next year exec at this time as I'm passing out hundred thousand dollars but right that's what God saying, except he says it's way more than hundred thousand. He say I got something precious for you but here's the deal my way. That's what wisdom is my way with that open your notes if you will. I don't want to dig in a little bit as I want to see why sex is such serious business. It's so serious because actually the issue with sex and spirituality.

The issue is worship to you worship when you do it God's way of saying God I trust you want to worship you sex as a sacred gift when I do it my way. I say sex is really about me and what I want and I worship me and so we learned if you if you have your Bible open Ephesians 5 were you or your phone whatever use I just want to give you sort of a runway, especially for those maybe just joining us. Ephesians 5 is talking about relationships in verses one into says be imitators of God. Remember that command and walk in love and in verses three through six. It will how do you walk in love what you walk in love, first by being generous and kind and loving and other centered, but then the opposite is don't let any immorality or impurity or greed. We even named among you or any course jesting or joking under six different words that talk about sexual impurity in our thinking, or words in our behavior, but rather the giving of thanks and that gives us the reason in verses seven through 10 because there's consequences. God loves you and me so much that when we violate those boundaries. Like every good parent. He brings about the discipline and the consequences so that he says I want you to get the best and if you keep making bad decisions. I'm gonna bring some consequences to get your attention so you say I really don't want to do that now we pick it up in the crescendo of this passage, there's a command in verse 11.

Do not participate in the unfree fruitful deeds of darkness but instead expose them circle the word participation and underline the word expose participation is that same word that we saw don't associate with. Don't be connected to don't get near him it's it's like I want you to be separate.

How would you be separate from those things, not necessarily those people were to love people with their certain things in certain places that the whole context of sexuality and that he says the unfruitful deeds of darkness. But even expose them. The word expose means to reveal to make clear to convince literally to rebuke our abstinence isn't enough simply refraining from sexual impurity is not enough.

He saying I want you to model love and authentic relationships that are sexually pure in such a way that the world around you would be exposed to what David Laney did to me as they exposed me they exposed me.

I was brainwashed to believe how many girls can I dated this is what you do and this is what I want and it was all about worshiping me, and then I got into a room and I saw what love looks like and little children and and and and and the best use of this it was wholesome. It was holy. It was beautiful. It was rich. It was deep and when I was in the light of that relationship what it exposed was me and that's what God calls us to do and it gives us the reason for its disgraceful even to speak of these things which are done by them in secret and this is this is Ephesus. I mean there's there's temples and you know male prostitutes and female prostitutes, and I mean it's it's a wild crazy place faces you need to expose the darkness by living this new kind of life, and he says here's the challenge you're supposed to do it but don't even speak about these things because sexual immorality violates God's holy character and his positive intent for his creatures choices were to expose them, but I have a little problem.

He says if I'm not even to speak of these things. How do you expose things without words. Notice is going to tell us the explanation, but all things become visible when they're exposed, underline, at its exact same word.

All things become visible. The moment light enters the become visible, and when that which is visible means you see them for what they are, by the light for everything that becomes visible is light member of my dad was a science teacher and you do these experiments and he would take his little petri dishes and put a few little things in it and then they would put them in the dark for his students and then you bring out the little petri dish one is been in the dark about what happened had all these growths and then want to be shown is okay. Now his organs and take the lid off any of expose the bacteria or the things that have grown in the petri dish to like it so happened I am going light exposes things certain things the moment is brought into light. Bam it's gone it's exposed and he says that is our calling in this passage. She talked about you and I living sexually pure lives in our thinking and our lips and our behavior and our practices in our relationships. Now he saying I want you go to the next level. I want you to live in such loving authentic sexually pure lives in every area that you are life is illuminating.

People like Chip when he was in college I want you to have the kind of relationships and love and beauty so that when people are around you, and I hear you talk about relationships and they see what you do with your friends what your marriage looks like it would expose without saying a word.

It would expose.

In fact, for this reason, it says and is quoting him that the early church used awaken sleeper and rise from the dead in Christ will shine on you. This passage teaches on the bottom.

I put a summary for you and me. Just as light silently reveals all things for what they really are. So it is when God's people. Here's the keyword model purity and love and relationships that expose sexual immorality for what it is lustful, destructive self worship and I know there's and needs and hurts and strengths and temptation. Then, but here's what I want to know when when ordinary people at your work and people where you hang out to do, your hobbies or work out or when neighbors get together.

Here's what I want you to get this is what this passage is teaching because God is calling us to a second sexual revolution listening to part message wake up world.

There's a way to do relationships is serious. Love, sex, and lasting relationships in these messages strictures the candid truth about romance sex the way God designed it and true love because we long to love and be loved. This series will help you discover God's way to make a good match grow in intimacy and build a love that lasts a lifetime for a limited time, resources for love, sex, and lasting relationships are discounted. The MP3s are always free to order your copy or to send it to a friend visit us online at http://livingontheedge.org or tap special offers on the app for additional information. Just give us a call at triple late.

333-6003 will check. We only got one more program in this series, and before we finish were feeling pretty passionate about doing whatever we can to get the content of these messages into the lives of his many young people as possible, I would you tell folks about the special offer were making available today and tomorrow. Absolutely debris doing something a little bit crazy if you're the leader of a high school group, a middle school group, a college small group and you would say to us.

I will take my group. Through this we will give you up to 10 study guides absolutely free with the video that you can stream my heart breaks when I see so many godly young people get involved in the kind of relationships that go south and destroy the relationship with Christ were going to do what ever we can to help you and those you love in your junior high, high school or college ministry you contact us you commit to do it on the honor system and we will give you up to 10 study guides in the video absolutely free. Know what I want you to know is this offer is running out. It's only available today and tomorrow so if you getting a prompting from God to do this let us know right away. Great reminder Chip, thanks so let me give you the details one more time if you're a leader of middle school, high school or college age youth you commit to taking your group through this series, love, sex, and lasting relationships will send you up to 10 free study guides with video streaming with this offer is only good while supplies last. Over the next two days so we hope you'll get in touch today.

Let us help you get this content into the hearts and minds of the kids you care about. For all the details, visit us online at http://livingontheedge.org tap special offers on the app or give us a call at triple late. 333-6003 chip in the teaching today you told a very personal story about what happened to get you on the path to sexual purity.

Most of us wouldn't be that candid, why did you step out and share like that one day I shared that because I think my experience is pretty normal in all the warnings about just wait or you know you can get a sexually transmitted disease, or AIDS.

Or here's the psychological factors and and there's all these statistics about you know you can have an affair later in life and your sexual satisfaction in marriage isn't gonna be so good on and on and on. Okay all those things are true, but that isn't what turned my heart and I know we need to hear the warnings, but what turned my heart was seeing a picture of what I could have you know I just I just solve this couple and I saw an intimacy in the love and a connection that what I knew from all the people having sex in my own struggles with lust that it doesn't take you there and when I got that positive picture went hi Saul, what God wanted.

When I saw it in the flesh when I saw a couple bit like wow they were crazy about each other and they loved each other, and these little kids.

It's like the Holy Spirit was shouting to my heart. Don't you realize that's what I want for you and then I felt the Holy Spirit whisper, but there is a way to get there. Chip and it's my way.

Not Hollywood's way it's my path, not the world's path it in that picture and gave me the strength to do what we talked about to have a game plan have a personal conviction to say no to sexuality weather was on the Internet or with a girl. It was that I'm going to be sexually pure, because it's worth it. It pleases God and what he has for me is so much better than all the second-rate sex that I see all around me and so that's that's my heart.

What we need is a generation of young people who don't tell everyone what's so wrong but model their purity and their love in a way that others would set you know something that's what I want, just before we wrap up if you heard the offer earlier in the program you know are in the process of providing free study guides to every youth leader who agrees to take their group of middle high school or college students. Through this series, love, sex, and lasting relationships with those resources don't come at no cost. If you believe in the mission of Living on the Edge helping Christians live like Christians coming a financial partner would be a great way to be on mission with us, you could be part of helping those leaders get the truth of God's design for relationships to as many young people as possible. We'd love to have you join us to send a gift or become a monthly partner. Just go to LivingontheEdge.org tap donate all me up or give us a call at triple late. 333-6003. Your support is greatly appreciated. Until next time, this is Dave Drury saying thanks for listening.

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