Love Sex and Lasting Relationships - Love and Sex: Why Knowing the Difference Makes All the Difference, Part 2

You know God created a beautiful beautiful gift for his people called sex and has been exploited.

It's been cheapened has been defrauded, and I believe God looks down on so many of his children that are living together that are hooked on pornography and with tears in his eyes. He says oh I long for you to have sex.

How intended intimacy and love connection if you'd like to learn how to have that kind of sex and the right relationship at the right time. Stay with me. Thanks for joining us for this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram Living on the Edge features the Bible teaching treatment group on this international discipleship program through Jadeja continues his series love, sex, and lasting relationships is about to finish the message and began our previous program is that it's available on our website LivingontheEdge.org broadcasts on the trip and remap was get started, shall we hear strip with part two of this message from Ephesians chapter 5. Love and sex.

By knowing the difference makes all the difference. Far from wanting to limit sex God's heart stop experiencing such second rate sex logging onto imaginary site with people would've been pumped with stop and whether blowing fans and they touch up the body and create these world don't exist having affairs living with someone where you know there's no real commitment and you say all kind words.

That is just convenient but it's really about you decent all those things reduce reduce reduce reduce the capacity for what God wants you matter to him. We read earlier hearings workmanship. You're like a prize painting you like the most classic car like a beautiful mansion. You're like a Rembrandt you matter more than anything he wants the best for you. Anything don't destroy this and here's the reason sexual impurity destroys relationships that simple sexual impurity will destroy your relationship with God. Sexual impurity will destroy your relationship with yourself and sexual impurity will destroy your relationship with others. Notice what it says in verse five. For this you know, put a box around the word no. I'll tell you why in a minute with certainty that no notice. The repetition, no immoral, no impure or covetous person. By the way, who is an idolater, has inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. And then, here's a warning he said to a sex saturated culture. This is counterintuitive and I'm laying out this is God's plan. He loves you, but there's a lot of people that are blowing smoke they're fooling you there deceiving you that got you in situations where you want to experience, and experience in sex. He says let no one deceive you how with empty words and then there's the warning not only not be deceived, but the consequences for because of these things, what things immorality, impurity and covetousness because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. I said put a box around the word no and Greek. There's two major words for no one is a fact.

This is just a fact the others knowing by experience just certain things. I know because of experience in certain things are. I can feel it or not feeling but 2×2 = 4.

That's this word thing you can know with certainty. Okay, here's what I want you to know people. They can say they love God. They can raise their hands. I can come to church occasionally they can pray the prayer people who are living habitually immoral lives habitually impure lives habitually covetous lives will have no part in any doesn't it's not like God's kingdom coming.

It's God's kingdom, God's rule.

God's favor, God's blessing now and this is all the people deceive you… Let them tell you stuff like if it's safe sex is okay if we really love one another. It's okay see. Did you notice that one little word. It's a person who comforts company has to do with. I want something that's not mine is mine, rightfully, he says that person who is immoral or impure or covetous in the Janessa phrase is an idolater an idol worshiper is someone who worships the creature instead of the Creator or something.

They make themselves. When you think of idols don't usually think of like a little something your people put on a standard like the old Indian movies never told him told him you know they would worship we might have a lion and a bear in but every told him every item you can you can worship success. You can worship your body. You can worship your kid, you can worship your work.

You can worship ministry, but any model you have, you can go down through that I don't the very bottom of the auto you know it's right there, a mere and when you look at the bottom of that idle, guess who you're really worshiping you. Guess who I'm really worshiping me if I would choose to log on to an Internet site, I would choose to flirt with someone I would choose to let my mind go. This isn't just her actions right Jesus said Matthew five.

If I lust for a woman in my heart. I've already committed adultery. Jesus said the pure in heart will see God. Solomon would say that as you think, and I think so, we will become. When I do those things are when you do those things that is all about me, worshiping me, and me getting off and thinking there's something that will deliver that's different than the woman that God gave me in the context of our relationship. So here's what God says I love you too much pulsing to the sex saturated world Ephesus.

You will never experience God's favor in God's love and God's freedom, you will end up like a little girl who's 20 and clinically depressed and can't figure out why life is meaningless because she's been exploited in use because she got her virginity over with.

You don't want to be someone inside of your marriage and it's rampant in Christian marriages where you don't talk about sex. It's not very fulfilling. You don't know what to do about it in your chatting online with old high school boyfriends and he doesn't want you to be like someone who's playing a little game and let's pretend were really committed your parents divorced. My parents divorce. So let's live together for a while that works out great for you, but there's no commitment, and if there's no commitment. There's no safety and if there's no safety. You can't really let the other person know all of you are the great majority of all the people will talk about it next week but cohabitate do not end up getting married and do not end up staying together. This would you please hear if you here because of your background or my background. I grew up as a Christian.

Okay what went when I first heard literally when someone told me no sex before marriage under think I don't know about Christianity, but that's not for me. You should probably laugh right now with sort of what that yeah that's how I think to your way to wholly appreciate really mean I just got God had a bony finger and arms crossed and you know like like I thought God was up in heaven. Sex occur like oh my gosh, Gabriel, what are they doing now the Bible says he's up in heaven, and the marriage that is holy and he looks at a couple but spiritually committed. Walking with Christ knows one another loyal enter having sex and got broke this. It's awesome. You know why because sexuality and spirituality are so closely tied. There are a few things you experience ever in your entire life. It's akin to your intimacy with God like having sex with your wife or husband without guilt without baggage without stopping without junk and constant one. Could you matter. Don't treat yourself like you don't have any respect for yourself, don't treat yourself like you don't matter you matter to me and so I want the best for you. The consequences the wrath and the word wrap all it means is you made in God's image, so here's what happens when things are beautiful or things that you made or things you've worked hard and things you know are supposed to be wonderful when someone comes and destroys them. You get mad right anybody and if you parents have some other kids are a school or someone start to really mess with your kids. I mean, and really start to damage them. Tell me about those emotions where you what you do that when things are unfair, get mad, why could you make the image of God.

When we do things that are destroying our lives and destroying relationships and breaking up families.

God gets angry and God's anger is not like God has an anger component and a love component. Theologically, God is simple. What that means is that he is absolutely holy and loving and simple and righteous and compassionate and just perfectly. All at the same time and so out of his love, he allows consequences to happen when were sexually immoral in our mind or in her speech were in our behavior and he allows his consequences to get our attention as other certain diseases that you get is a physical consequences. There is depression and guilt and package those are psychological consequences that their spiritual consequences. You know if you've gone too far. If you're logging on Internet sites or fear living together and now we can push down my conscience right we can sear it, but I got news for you. There's a lot of people that when you done something that you know is wrong, and violated sexual boundary. You can open up this book and is just like words of the page then speak to try praying really from the heart. Experience God's presence try wondering why don't I see vivid answers to prayer, what, why don't have any power over temptation can't live in both arenas. God says I care about you so much. I don't want you to be conformed to this world and its consequences. I want you to be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you could experience my will. The good acceptable and perfect will of God in your sex life in your married life in your single life in your thought life because you matter that much. Have a friend of many years ago and the illustration is consequences, and we were out playing basketball throughout South America and he was a West Coast guy played for one of the things called the pack gator. I don't know what to expect.

12 now, and I mean major major school on a basketball scholarship but with amazing athlete, so he was also a baseball player and so he played like AA ball in the summers make money and his story will give you sort of the truncated version was found some playboys. Early on, I kinda got involved in some soft porn I found in high school. The girls were pretty attracted to me and got with a group of guys. We kinda played a silly game about how my girls in high school, sleep with, so we did that with the college to play the same game is kind of the big guy on campus and is this certain men don't say this a lot, but he was like out of a poster okay you like 63 bronze bodied California blondish type here. Good luck and amazing athlete nice personality.

It's sickening actually bread for the rest of us and then he said during the summers when I play pro ball, I became addicted. This is before the Internet was big and on he set up the game I played was how many women can I sleep with and every count each day is that I just am ashamed at the numbers. As you know your baseball plague of these towns and you can have groupies for a lot of guys think this sounds like the life and he said this trip is my last stop as it would mean your last stop he said II live that way and then I'll never forget something happening you. I know about God. And I know but right now know about wrong but I mean I just couldn't stop. And then something snapped and broke inside me and he said I went completely numb.

They said I didn't have the desire and desire for sex for God for people. I have no feelings whatsoever, and it scared me. I just felt like I'd given everything the way I had no capacity to love and no capacity to feel and I was completely bankrupt and I went before God and I begged and begged and begged for his forgiveness and I don't feel a lot when I started getting the Bible start the memorizing passages and then I got to church.

I guess you could call it growing but get this chain that I'm carrying behind me and said I wanted to come and serve God. I'm not playing baseball this summer. I wanted to serve him and said I'm praying that someday someone he could restore that broken part inside the wrath of God is his kindness and love. Providing the kinda consequences to help you understand that you may not want that much love, but he will keep loving you because he cares and he will bring increasing levels of consequence to get your attention so that you will become sexually pure so you can experience the very best that you turn the page. We need to then ask where we go from here right this is a big big day for some of you is like if this guy talking right now had any idea where I've been and what's going through my mind and my present situation.

What I'm currently doing right can you hear something before we go on.

God loves you. If you're addicted to pornography. God loves you if you're living with someone right now. God loves you if you're sexually active with your boyfriend or girlfriend. God loves you.

If you're currently having an affair. God loves you. If you have homosexual leanings and identity issues.

God loves you if you're involved in a homosexual relationship God loves you. If any of those things are true of you today but you must understand that love will bring about consequences and to habitually continue in that destroys your relationship with God and your opportunity to experience and so he wants to forgive you for some of you you're involved in those things and you realize what you really need to do is realize oh my, I never saw it as being covetousness.

I never saw it as being exploiting or using confused, lost with love and it's whatever seen and known, and heard a need to ask God to forgive you once and for all, not just for your sexual sin, but for all your sin and inviting to be your Savior and to forgive you and commence your life and the person the Holy Spirit you bring new life for others you're here and you your born-again you know God, you know the story you experience and you read the Bible, some to pray some your living with someone you and you know the empty words the deception we really love one another, and we really can't afford to and on and on and on and for others.

I hope the statistics are wrong but 25 or 30% of the men you're logging onto porn sites at least once a month more and more frequent with women so here's here's the here's the deal. God didn't bring us together, you go and I mature, selfish, unloving, lustful, exploiting user of other people, we gotta see that right if you don't accept the bad news you can get the good news. So now here's his word.

Are you ready award to those that are uninvolved to me you not involved in any relationship. Today make a commitment and they don't have to wear a ring and you have to go through a ceremony if that helps. Great but make a commitment to say I'll be sexually pure in my mind my thoughts and my relationships and next week we'll talk about developing gameplay. If you're in a relationship dating someone living with someone just do what's right.

This is not rocket science. If you're living with someone you know I had a very long conversation. Knowing this was coming up and I sat down with a guy that I love a lot. He's a great friend is living with someone right is a great friend.

We talked about this and so I sat down earlier this week I said a man I really love you. This is what I'm gonna share your gonna be here your girlfriends going to be here and you can come to a crossroads and and you know he gave me all the empty you know we can't afford to move apart and we really love each other. I said look, and you say what I get it right. You either obey God or don't obey God.

So what you're telling me is you believe the God I mean he's great God you believe God is powerful enough to create the universe right you believe he's powerful and loving enough to send his son to die in your place right and rise from the dead right but you don't think he has the power to help you guys deal through living apart figuring out whether this is really the right person and supporting you financially. So I just want to try get this right to create the world but there's no power for you to obey is to be sit down and talking work this out.

I said my wife and I'll sit down with you and will will help you go through the steps of what to do with some of you that's the decision. This is one of those to think about this. This is today not to live together for some of you today. I'm not logging on anymore today.

The affair stopped about a white don't meet with them to tell them it's over never works. You never break up with the text in a casual relationship, but a Texas good for this affair is over. I disobeyed God I damage my life. I'm sorry done word to those that are in crisis. If you're in a marriage is really not working in this just sort of exposes it.

If you're in a relationship where you feel like honestly, I mean honestly you're in a relationship and you're scared because not just sexual it's abusive. Get help. Talk to someone today talk to pastor Christian counselor get help.

And finally, for those that are married and all I can say is Christians are funny people fighting groups of Christians I can say this because I've been there.

We would we rather pretend to get real and I don't want counseling.

I don't do a lot of it anymore. I met couples that are in their 70s that it never talked about sex walk with God 40 years she never ever told him you know when you do this it really doesn't really help me at all, or when you do that or we haven't really talked about it. Mrs. big white elephant and becomes a barrier and people don't wake up to say hey you know I think of give up on this marriage are I think I have an affair.

I think just give myself to the kids are.

I think become a workaholic. God wants your emotions and your spirit and your bodies will be connected in a way that sustains in his loving deep right so go to one of these marriage classes pick up a book on sexuality. My wife and I have gone through so many books of these books included to help us in every area. Love giving another person what they need the most when they deserve it the least a great personal cost.

Sex a beautiful dynamic bonding gift for procreation pleasure and beauty for one man one woman inside of marriage to have the light in this your creative, just a quick reminder this message love and sex. Why knowing the difference makes all the difference is from his series, love, sex, and lasting relationships in these messages strictures the candid truth about romance sex the way God designed it and true love because we long to love and be loved.

This series will help you discover God's way to make a good match grow in intimacy and build a love that lasts a lifetime for a limited time, resources for love, sex, and lasting relationships are discounted. The MP3s are always free to order your copy or to send it to a friend visit us online at http://livingontheedge.org or tap special offers on the app for additional information. Just give us a call at triple late. 333-6003 will ship what you're describing about how to be the right person and how to find the right person is 180° from what we see in the movies and television. What's the best way to move this teaching from head knowledge to convictions that actually affect our choices. Will Dave what I've seen because it's been out for over 10 years is when people go through the book something. Dynamic changes have lots of people communicate with me right me, tell me, email me about the content of these messages and what they tell me as I went through the book with the person that I was dating I went to the book with my fiancé and then they tell stories about how God radically radically change their relationship. What's a good example. I've actually had some people say I went through this and it made me see I'm not in love at all.

I'm just infatuated. This book is available right now.

It's an easy to read and it answers the kind of questions. How do you know if you're really in love.

What's the prerequisite for a great relationship and that how do you find that right kind of person. I think this is one of most important things that a single person can do right now is have a game plan from God about love, sex, and lasting relationships makes sense. A plan that moves our intentions into action. Thanks.

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His program was one of those programs that made some of you feel very uneasy.

For some it's like I didn't know anyone still talking about Christians being sexually pure and for others you're downright hostile inside thinking you know I don't really know about all bad and I think that sort of old-fashioned etc. etc. I often have you know. People tell me. So how do you know this is really true. And of course we could go into lots of reasons, but in the last 15 to 20 years. I cannot tell you how many Bible studies in my house. I've had with 20 and 30 somethings there from all over the world.

Their people with all kind of backgrounds and what I can tell you is both inside and outside the church is a relational world of people hooking up being damaged lacking intimacy and deeply struggling. I often had someone say, does the Bible really teach an old-fashioned no sex before marriage. Let me say unequivocally the passage that I taught today makes it clear sex outside of a monogamous marriage between one man one woman who are married is wrong.

It is missing the mark. It is sin now is that because God is approved and gave us desires and didn't want us to fulfill them.

Absolutely not, is because he's so good. He wants the very best, psychologically, physically, spiritually, for some of you. You are deeply aware that what I've shared is true in light at the end of the story and arrow. His peers, through your heart and what I want you to know as God forgives and there's restoration and the consequences of sin are real, but healing and restoration are just as real turned to him today with all your heart and can I encourage you to choose today for your relationship and for the honor of God to be sexually pure.

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When Chip continues his series, love, sex, and lasting relationships. Tell them this is the very thing thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge