Love Sex and Lasting Relationships - The Secret to a Lasting Relationship, Part 1

If you asked the average person on the what you want most out of life. Go to, significant deep, lasting relationship.

Today I'm going to talk about the secret to a lasting relationship stay with welcome to this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram Living on the Edges and international discipleship history featuring the Bible teaching nature begins a new series called love, sex, and lasting relationships in a culture where moral norms are increasingly relative to peers in the series is virtually never true.

Because God's norms never change. As always, if you have to miss a portion of today's broadcast you can hear it online anytime LivingontheEdge.org or on the Chip Ingram will know if you have a Bible heading now to Ephesians chapter 5. Let's join Chip for his message.

The secret to a lasting relationship, love, sex, and lasting relationships.

You know we are all we just are made and wired and long to be loved and to give love a we are made and designed by the creator of the universe to have spiritual, emotional and connection physically with the person of the opposite sex that does something in our soul and our heart and we are longing for that experience to not fade not end in divorce, but the last your whole life and the question is if you're single. How do you find that right person right if you're married, how do you keep that kind of love alive. If you're widowed or a widower. How do you avoid that pitfall of wind to move forward and because of the great need and the hurt in the hole in your soul of getting connected to early in some way with someone that usually ends up in a disaster, why is it there so many relationships, but most of the men just don't turn out very well mean over half of all Americans don't work where I want to start is with something I think is pretty basic is what's the secret to a lasting relationship. I mean let's face it, there some people that love each other.

It's rare I mean you know you can see them at all different stages in decades. In man they are in love and there's something to what they know that a lot of the stone and when they do suggest is there's two basic models out there that were going to look at Hollywood's model is one and God's model or God's prescription to enhance your love life is the other.

It's only look at Hollywood's model and then a look at God's model and maybe we can learn some things. Imagine if you will that this small little tube is filled with multiple silicon tiny little chips that can take information and then you can turn it this way, and it can synthesize it through an algorithm to take all that information to come up with the basics of what's inside of so what, hypothetically, I put inside of here is the last 40 years of movies the last 40 years of all television shows the last 40 years of all self-help books the last 40 years of all romance novels.

The last 15 or 20 years of reality shows and anything that's been written about love, sex and relationships and then when I take this and I say okay. Of all the movies we've seen the magazines. The books the world we've grown up, and if I could shoot that out through some sort of algorithm to say is there a step-by-step process to find the right person to be in love and have this great awesome relationship with amazing sex. What would it be Hollywood would say this number one you need to find the right person right. We all grew up there someone out there for you.

You need to find him. Where are they a wonder when and how we can meet cancel what were told in each one of those movies and in the songs we sang and in the Netflix that we watches there someone out there but you got to attracting another wood. If you can find them.

It's, like, you need to be honey so the bees will come for you and what Hollywood says is there is a way that you'd attract people and what they say is that you need to be really good bait. You need to look a certain way.

You need to dress a certain way. You need to drive a certain car you need to be sorta hip or cool were need or whatever word you want to use and then there's a theme that's very, very physical in how you attract the opposite sex. In fact, I did something to take you on a quick little journey.

This is very I just went to the typical drugstore and went to the magazine rack, and I thought I'm going to do some very anecdotal nonscientific research and I'm just in a take 10 magazines and say, is there any theme about who I'm supposed to be to attract the opposite sex.

And so I like to invite you to join me on my research so I started off kind of mild let's focus on our self so self magazines that I can burn fat faster and as I go through the see if you can see some words or themes that developed and then I can tone and tighten don't have to go to the gym to do it and then hear something sporty sex. How many calories can you actually burn. I didn't realize that was part of the diet program but I can see where it would sell a magazine. So I go beyond simply myself because I want to be glamorous because of unglamorous for glamour attract other people and a very attractive young woman here will tell me 65 ways to play up your body.

So apparently how my body looks is really important that I like this. It's ladies you don't just need to look good with makeup.

You need to look good after you've been arrested been to the gym. Got little tan in this magazine how to look ridiculously good on zero sleep. The expectations are getting too high.

Are they just in case you kind of wonder. You know you're wondering that man and how do men really think in this edition, 1001 men answer your questions ladies this is what you can find out how to be good bait about sex, about your body about babies about falling in love and falling out of love. Well you know it's a fitness world.

It's a diet world. We all know that we want to be in good shape so I thought shape magazine would be a good one.

And so what does this tell us well you can drop 7 pounds in two days. Amen. Right. And it's the better sex workout I'm catching a theme out about you, then there might be a theme emerging here and then I like this you can tone every inch of your body lean and firm size, sleek and strong arms and tight sexy. I think I'll just that's a little beyond the older PG rating here in the church but you mean that's what I need to attract the opposite sex. What would we go to Cosmo to bit more risqué in the themes and Cosmo.

Most guys understand all the covers are Cosmo are identical from the neck down. Think on that, just for a second you get it wise going honey. What's he said no.

Believe me, they know so here we have sex Olympic second 17 hot tricks to go for gold and then sexy and we know it appears he's a look at the very bottom one week +4 moves equals your new hot body is that like amazing. You don't have to die and go to the gym just in one week.

Are you beginning to realize you have been inundated by every form of media to say how you look is the key to attracting the opposite sex and sex is the ultimate goal of every relationship.

That's what it says, well let's get on a little more you know focus toward health and so women's health how to get healthy flat abs that that's how cold it not only flat, flat abs, but more sex, better sex up the action in the satisfaction you know what, it's not like I I I pulled these from years I just went to the drugstore yesterday. All right, this is just a for real now. Here's the moment those things are changing.

It used to be that there was an expectation. If you're in your 20s and your 30s and you know hardbody all the rest, but we used at least think that like you know, 20, 30 years later. 40 is the new 20 so if you're not married.

If you're 40 and you don't look like her.

You have a problem and here's the thing.

If that message keeps going, your husband looks at you and looks at her and says you not maybe so, what's, what's the deal or flip it around and you look at him and say you know he didn't have that. When we got her. He didn't know well, guys, let's not let the women take all of it.

This is the bachelor and so distant average formal looking guy for my opinion actually write guys, looks like us little stubble hardbody but not now. Think of this that this show has so many followers have 17 women all who happen to be gorgeous who want to line up the don't know anything about them. But one of the Miriam. What's he like have no idea. I just want you on the show, but he found out three of them have dark past that want to take him down. This is men's health, and this is a most unusual men's health of ever seen. I do this research when I walked out of the grocery store.

By the way, often, and usually the men's health has a guy with his shirt off. Ladies, probably 20 notice, but he has assured off and he doesn't have a sixpack he doesn't have an eight pack. He's got like 12 pack now. You do understand that he's been working out for years. This is his full-time job.

He takes creatine and probably little steroids here. There is not play in the NFL and he looks and what he says to me is chip you can burn flat abs 24 seven. The new all Spartan workout okay and muscle secrets from the real fight club guys you get to that gym, your wife's can or cannot marry or if you're looking the whole key is for some of you thinking I'm too late for the gym.

Maybe it's in close the more sophisticated in this detailed magazine build a perfect wardrobe. The eight pieces every stylish man should own. See if you get a shirt like this, I can tell where this came from humming the women running in Starbucks unbelievable using that suit. But that's not enough. If you can afford the wardrobe underneath of it.

A haircut of the moment guys cheat to get not really all that cheap except for some you have this haircut. She goes I think I'm in love. Were having a bit of fun and we laugh because it's in the air. It's in the water. It's in the movies.

It's in the songs and we all care about what we look like and we all have these private thoughts we wish we looked a lot better and we all have now been inundated with a culture and it's in the air and water that says if you don't look like that you don't measure up in worse we can get diluted and thinking we can't do. But the person that were married to doesn't work and feel like if I don't look like one of these people I'm single I'll never get ever get married and you know what, here's a thing is the expectations are now so false and so unrealistic. This message destines you to fail every relationship.

It destines you to try and become something you're not destines you to compare inside your relationship where any flaw now is up against these 1% of the gene pool and all of the world who have private chefs work out four hours a day and have unlimited expenses on wardrobes and then they do the shoots and a touch of the shoot.

Afterwards and it gets worse, because it never ends.

The last one is the most sad for me. I don't know about you ladies but if you don't look like this is 60. There's a big problem and so now it's not like you can't even grow old there. There is no room for sags or lags, or anything else, and what I want you to know is it Hollywood's formula is find the right person and that's the way and then when you find them, you fall in love right coming in all the movies you just fall in love you.

You the picture. As you know you driving a car and you stop your car and it's a red light and you look over and she looks over you look again.

She looks again in your eyes meet. Electricity starts at the top of your head. You begin to shake almost uncontrollably inside your car.

She has a Volkswagen, you have the Volkswagen literature love. She pulls off and want to follow or sometimes a little less dramatic. It is walking in a coffee shop notice or she notices you, you go to refills at exactly the same time you brush one another. Magic just pours down upon both of you have got I got to know his name. You go back having not done any more than that, hoping that the same day at the same time.

At the same coffee shop he or she will be there for you return home to say to your roommate. Your IQ drops 30 points. You start acting in ways that are ridiculous spending money you don't have dressing up as good as good as what you think you have my new outfit wife I'm going to the coffee shop like to me and I've never met, but I don't know his name, that I know nothing about that.

I think I'm in love with, not you.

Is that not Hollywood's formula you believe that a lot. I believe that a lot. The third step in Hollywood's formula is once you find that person, and once you have this mystical infatuated experience. It will literally talk about later because there's a chemical reaction that happens when were infatuated and God designed us that way and it's a it's a good part of a relationship. We just need to understand what part then you fix your hopes and dreams on this person and what you do is it so all the songs I can't live without you. In fact, what you find it when you fall in love. If loving you is wrong I don't want to be. How did you know those words, your amazing over and over and over and over. And then when you fix your help on this person and probably most everyone's been there and then there's the break up your life.

You can't eat. You can sleep you can't drink. Life is meaningless. You put on weight, you drink too much.

You do all kind of things because what was going to make your life work is gone.

And if you don't believe it. Ask all the pretty people who make all the movies who are the most beautiful with the most money who seem to not be able to stay together for more than a few months or a few years and then finally when failure occurs, you repeat steps 1 to 3 and it goes like this in America goes like this. We fallen out of love. I guess it just wasn't the right person. What was good for a few years and she was that when I was that way but we've grown apart all these euphemisms, the belief system.

Is there someone out there, and therefore once you break up you go back to the gym everything. How many €40-€50 or in the gym right now you get a new wardrobe. You get a new car and you play the same game, except the next time the chance of failure goes up to 75% not 50%. This is the mantra that you have been sold.

The destines you for dissatisfaction or to never find the right person, or to have heartbreak that God never intended the results are.

The success rate of Hollywood's formula is since 1960. The divorce rate is double about 41 to 43% of people are divorced now but since we don't count those who cohabitate in them break apart. A good round figure is about 50% over half of all divorces happen in the first 10 years, usually between year three, and six is the most devastating time because reality hits in some young kids come. People don't endure the pain, the fallout is really beyond what we often think, despite all the words and talkshows of it was an amiable divorce were still friends. It was just a mistake. The research indicates that the pain fallout and damage to the children to the economics half of all women who go through divorce Elizabeth below the poverty level or just the fractured relationship and the pain is the tip of the iceberg and our problems in the tragedy of divorce follows us into adulthood. When the most interesting studies I've ever read was the children of the worst 25 years later, a landmark study to attract kids from broken homes longitudinally track them for over 25 years to find out what happens to kids not now all their resilient everything's gonna be okay. Wallerstein is the founder of the Center for families in transition when a nation nation's leading expert on divorce and her book the unexpected legacy of divorce 25 years later landmark study. She gives an example Karen was 36 when she detailed to Wallerstein. The long shadow cast by her parents divorce like so many other children divorce.

James had embarked on a search for lasting love, yet was so deeply anxious that she was unable to trust others a fear of abandonment Proclaim to string of unsuitable and troubled partners. I mean it would be too embarrassing to ask you to raise your hand of how many in this room have been down that road were have a sister or brother what your kids that you said Yep that's what happened to goes on to say by the time the children of divorce, reach their 30s, she found only half of them were doing well personally. Interestingly, it seemed that it had absolutely no impact on the work life, we substitute we compensate. Here's all I want you to hear very clearly Hollywood's formula is all that we've heard you don't even have to try and not believe it or believe it. Every time you wake up and watch a commercial read a book, Clancy magazine, watch a movie.

This is the mantra behind and if you don't understand that you were being hoodwinked, seduced and used in your full as it doesn't work.

The most chips message.

The secret to a lasting relationship from a series love, sex, and lasting relationships in these messages strictures the candid truth about romance sex the way God designed it and true love because we long to love and be loved. This series will help you discover God's way to make a good match grow in intimacy and build a love that lasts a lifetime for a limited time, resources for love, sex, and lasting relationships are discounted. The MP3s are always free to order your copy or to send it to a friend visit us online at http://livingontheedge.org or tap special offers on the app for additional information.

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333-6003 will trip another series of all the things we teach are Living on the Edges when you're super excited about because you believe it's needed now more than ever know what you see happening that makes it so important what Dave I have to tell you that you know I happen to be involved with a number of millennial's in a church and they're all looking for that right in that great relationship and the flipside is this is one of the earliest teachings.

I did the became a book and so I've heard from people literally around the country and around the world, not just single people in their 20s and 30s, but that whole other group, that group in the 40s through 60s who either went through divorce, or who live together and it didn't work or find themselves widowed. One of the most passionate things we long for in her life than her heart is how do you find that right person and honestly how do you qualify, whether they're the kind of person. What's the path what's the game plan to really find yourself in a relationship where you have deep meaningful love for a lifetime where you understand and have vulnerability and that as you get married, there's there's sex that is God ordained and it's exciting and that you know what it just it doesn't fall apart. It doesn't go down the path that so many relationships do that simply don't work. This is a different paradigm and I am so excited because I've met literally hundreds and hundreds of couples and received emails and letters of people who said either. I was on my way to a divorce and I read this book, or listen to this series or the this is what we went through together when I was trying to ask, is this the right guy for the right gal and we listen to this together and it became the pathway by which our marriage was built. I just cannot wait to share this if there's ever a time in our culture where Christians need to know how do you find the right guy or the right gal in the right way and have God's blessing. It's now and I believe this series really delivers that by the grace of God flexor that well.

I hope you'll make plans to be with us for the entire series. If you have an Alyssa program you can pick it up on the chip and remap or anytime on our website LivingontheEdge.org these are free along with chips, message notes, which are as detailed outlines of each message, including Scripture references and much more. Well here's chip with his application as we wrap up today's broadcast. Let me ask you a question whether single, dating married, how much of Hollywood's formula have you subconsciously bought into the fact is, is that we are bombarded each and every day with media and movie stars telling us that this is the formula you know this is the way it all works in the fact of the matter is reality tells us Hollywood's formula doesn't work, you know whether you're single or dating or you know I've talked to a lot of married people who found themselves getting disillusioned with their mate, and a good marriage simply because Hollywood's formula that there's this perfect someone out there somewhere, and that if you have a little feeling of dissatisfaction or an argument or something goes wrong, you begin to drift and think how maybe I married the wrong person. Let me tell you this. This series is critical.

We all long for love sex in a lasting relationship. Let me encourage you make it a priority to stay with this and if you miss a broadcast go online to LivingontheEdge.org or go to our app chipping from app and follow along and pick up the series.

Great idea.

Thank you. The chipping remap will not only give you access to every message in this series but all of chip's recent series or there is interactive filling notes are there all the special offers and a quick, easy way to connect with us by phone or email the chipping remap couldn't be more convenient.

Hope you get it today will be back with us again next time, Mr. continues his series, love, sex, and lasting relationship is really saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge