Effective Parenting in a Defective World - How to Prepare Your Kids to Win Life's Biggest Battles, Part 2

It's a fact. Your children will fail and when they do, how do you respond today will discover what God promises that failure is never final and the way he response to your failure is the way he wants you to respond to their you know how that's today on the welcome to this Edition of Living on the Edge with chip and group trips are vital to international discipleship program and I thanks for joining us for the little the great series called effective parenting in a defective world previous program to cover the first three or five smooth stones will help your kids bring down the joints they face. Today we get the last two.

So let's jump it with part two of his message, how to prepare your kids to win. Life's biggest battle.

Let me give you some ways to teach your children how to handle money. So there.

Be faithful in the little things one teacher children. The three purposes for money. Okay. And again, since I'm going fasters longer material, small group, but for today here's just thumbnail sketch. When my children were small, is only three purposes for money actually five only five things you can ever do with money but three purposes.

As you can give money you can save money. You can spend money actually you can invest money and you can pay taxes with money, but let I think for 3 to 5-year-old was just over the first three and so we took you and those Mason jars all my kids on the dresser. By the time there, even about two years old that have a jar and printed row clearly giving jar number one next jar saving jar number two spending jar number three and you know they would you know make their little dad and help out with this and do that and you know okay your part of the family were… The house is God's. Everything is God's were a team together.

Thank you.

And so here's 10 times and they put a dime in the getting the light that daddy because everything belongs to him. But we, we, as humans, we forget that we start thinking it's ours so we give the very first in the best of all of your 10 dimes to him just to remind us and they were then use that to help people. Okay this time goes in the savings will I redo that book and you don't know what the future holds. And so God says always say because life is goes up and down. You always need to have a backstop and you get eight of these hamlets up for what does God loves you so much you spend that end he loves you. Enjoy it.

Okay will then they get a little older and it's a dollar a dollar and eight than a little older. It's Canon 1080 and then can you imagine what would happen to your kids in terms of the mind, a worldview of stewardship. If in the time they were small up through about 25 years old. He did that. If you don't suffer while your kids long if you don't work and to the Lord. They won't if you don't manage your life.

Wisely, they won't.

Can you imagine I mean I don't know your situation but I know the statistics if just let's say at age 15 to where you're at right now if you didn't do anything with your financial planner, except those three things, and 10% of anything you earned. You gave to God to align your priorities and 10% you saved with all the bubbles and ups and downs and layoffs and you lived on 80% and didn't go into debt for anything other than say maybe the mortgage on the home you realize where you'd be right now you realize where you be financially you be like super well-off.

It would just take a lot of time to see the world says you gotta have it now I get it now. You put on this credit.

You do this you do that and see when you do it like that you don't have much of an eye was pastors a little churches we didn't have a Harley any money by the time my kids were 13, 14 years old. I never had put a car on time I'd saved. And even though I didn't have a lot safer, six, eight, nine years, but I paid for the car then assumes a paid for that car. I started saving eight, nine years I paid the next car you know what happens when you don't have any debt and no bills other than your house, you actually end up pretty well off financially. It's just slow that's what you want for your kids to manage their finances wisely the messages your life is a sacred stewardship, not just your stuff. Your life is a sacred stewardship.

By the way, got very quiet after that last point. Are you all doing okay here.

If I was you could send you all know, set up no you told me way too late and it's never too late. In fact, the last to talk about is a grace filled lives you how God treats people that make really stupid decisions, even selfish decisions. Even simple mistakes and totally mess up their life the moment they say man. Why did I do that we you please help me, you will guide us, along help, we can turn things around. Gather some stuff to work out of and some consequences may little restitution. But while God is loving, he's good. You want your kids to learn that fourth thing you want to learn is to teach them to make wise choices to write this one in teach them to make wise choices.

Now, the way you do that is by helping them learn to discern the difference when good and evil.

We were living in a day were good is called evil and evil is called good. You want your kids to make wise decisions that you understand you make a decision and my good Marine dad would say so. You make a decision and then they make you and I do you make a decision on to go out with this guy get involved in this relationship and it makes me I make a decision about my money I make a decision about where I'm going to go to school. I make a decision about how you can respond to someone who hurt me make a decision about whether or forgive someone or not you make a decision and the decisions make you you know when when kids understand life is difficult, but I'm gonna walk with God and suffer well when I learned that you know working isn't bad. I'm actually can discover what I made to doing work when I begin to manage and realize God owns everything and there's the only pressure just to be a good steward and then you start making wise decisions. Do you understand how this blesses him that this this is like marriages that work in relationships that work in decisions that are good, but the key behind wise decisions is a theology of holiness, theology of holiness of God is holy is totally unjust me separate. He's totally other. He's different. She's not like in the large ideal perfect picture of the best human you've ever known in heaven at this moment the Angels are crying, holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty heaven and earth are full of your glory. And they're doing that covering their eyes. She's unapproachable light is absolutely unmitigated sure love and pure holiness. And just in kind and sovereign, all-knowing and all-powerful and just words come out of his mouth, and galaxies come to be awesome what you kids holy as toes or says the great and amazing conflict with God is that we are to fear him because of his greatness in his holiness, and yet not to be afraid because he's the most loving being and he invites us to be his friend.

The ballad of holiness is not only hold that God is absolute truth. Jesus said on the way the truth and the life.

No one comes to the father except by me. God's word defines absolute truth, he says it's not relative. It's not this is right today and wrong. Tomorrow is not what the culture says Jesus prayed on the very last night. Father sanctified and or set them apart by your truth.

Your word is true.

She kids need to learn that God's laws or morals are for protection. In other words, when God says don't have sex before marriage. God says don't go into two major debt when when God says here's how you make a decision when he has rules and laws. It's not like this angry God trying to get fun. It's like these are guardrails. The Old Testament calls it the highway of holiness, and he says you know what this I long for you I love you. I created you. My son died you I want you to get the very best.

So here's the guardrails don't do that because that takes you over a cliff. Don't do that that destroys relationships don't do that.

That'll destroy your body, don't do that better destroy your soul. That's why David would say his laws. My delight if your lawn not my been my delight, it would've perished in my flexion. David love the law of the Lord why is he knew it.

These are boundaries for a good God that as I stay in between them. I get the highest in the best that's what God wants for you, for your kids got the ultimate aim is to make us holy. But don't think holy is and in some of those pictures and or Myla coleus. Black robes, there's a candle over here people wear hoods and symphonies and all holders will florets holy is a very big black Bible and praise the Lord sticker and a self-righteous attitude is not holy.

That stupid holy is pure blameless when some kind, patient, sexually pure pure in your thoughts, motives that aren't manipulative holy write this in their is Christ likeness. He is working every circumstance, every relationship, every issue, every school, every heartbreak for the good of them that love him. In order to conform your son, your daughter, me and you to the image of Christ.

That's God's agenda. The Old Testament roots.

We find Moses and there's a Bush that's burning but is not consumed and out of curiosity gets close and remember what God says out of the bush. Moses here on holy ground. Take off your shoes he bows down and he gives his personal note, I am that I am reveals himself. You and your kids to understand the fear of the Lord without being afraid New Testament wise first Peter would say to a group that had been through all calming the world they lived in was so immoral I mean it was just as so crass, so corrupt the Roman Empire and are being persecuted and he would write in first Peter as obedient children, do not be conformed any longer to the former lusts that were years in your ignorance, but like the holy one called you be holy in all your behavior. Why be holy, for I am holy that here's the application what you get. This is so encouraging for me is is that you want your child to learn to think biblically and critically to develop personal convictions and character you want to make great decisions, but you want to watch TV and watch a movie and watch a situation and and friends are going through a difficult time you want to learn to think biblically, to discern evil from good what's right, what's best. What you really want. You want to build convictions has apparently issue is not well I got to go to youth group every every weekend and I made him do this and I made do that what you want is you want from the inside out.

You want them to catch a heart for God because they see it in you and then you want them to see. It's not like guys would've what a prudish God, no sex before marriage and all my friends are having it will yeah honey, but here's what you need understand this is what happens to them and all my friends are living together. Why cannot will. This is what happens to them. God loves you so much. This is what he wants for you and by the way, we now have the research empirically from secular sources that basically says God's way. God's way and all those areas is what works, but to give you a couple ways to maybe develop this want to start when their little give a really high view of God, get on your knees when you pray with your little kids read to them read Bible stories early read the Chronicles of Narnia. I just introduce great rich literature. All all all the bombardment that they get. We have kids living in a video culture. More and more kids are ADD now because the brain actually gets changed when all they get is video images. The third thing you need to do is monitor what goes into their mind monitor how much time on the screens monitor the movies monitor their friends what goes into their mind and the people they hang out with will be the biggest factors of how they're going to live in the decision's are going to make and so they need to see your example God's word great things in their mind and by the way, when I say monitor. This is; never expose him to anything.

There's times where you need to sit down and watch things together, what's wrong with this. Don't be afraid of the world.

Empower your son or daughter to make a difference in the world and help them to see through it helplessly trying to sucker you into this.

That's not does that work but you need to know what all this takes it takes intentionality.

It takes focus. It is easy to say on my kid in this supplement school here and someone else to learn here and were really busy and we can eat together.

We don't have time to really pray together. I really like to I want to but I hope everything will be okay. Then to get involved in a relationship at all I hope is just a phase he with all that's called denial, denial, denial, denial, denial, the hardest job you'll ever get the most important job you'll ever have is being a mom or dad so you think it can be easy and by the way, if you do quote everything right. Here's the deal. There still no guarantees. They had these little things inside their souls called choosers right right so they get to be 15, 14, 13, 16, 18, 20, 21, 22, 29, and you can say we created this. We model this we did this we did this we did this in with the site right. But guess what, you're not held responsible for the outcomes you're held responsible for did I model for my kids what I wanted them to become an did I do what I know to create this kind of environment and then if you start Filho my I didn't do it perfectly. No one has ever supported what you model is what you do when you mess in, so they understand they can be forgiven like you got love covers a multitude of sins. And so finally the life messages obedience is the only way to get God's best obedience is the only way to get God's best, you want them to make decisions and as they get older. Here's the question. As I get older and older. What you think God wants you to do what you think God wants you to do. Don't make it all all a power-play force them to process where they start making decisions on their own why there with you final one, and I think it's the most encouraging is not about you. This first were hard to pull off stone number five is teach them to live.

Grace filled lives a theology of grace. Grace is one of those words.

It is, slippery. You know, grace, nice girls name. I grace but you know what it really mean to give you quick theology of grace. Grace is the unmerited unconditional love of God toward us unmerited. You can earn it unconditional. God doesn't love you or your child if they do this or because they did that grace is the opposite of performance mentality. It's the opposite of earning second grace is freely to us but costly to God. The Scripture clearly says, do you not know that your body is the temple of God and the Spirit of God dwells within you that you've been bought with the price Christ blood is the cost for your salvation and your children's the cross is God's greatest act of grace.

When you look at the cross, God says that God demonstrated approved his love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us, or in our place.

Salvation is a free gift from God.

Scripture says is not by works of righteousness. We have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit. It's it's it's free grace, but it needs to be received by faith. If you ever watched the NFL game what's in the back of the end zone. John 316 for God so loved the world he gave grace that whoever believes in him would not perish but have everlasting life, God the son lived a perfect life. He died upon the cross to pay for the sins of all people of all time is like everyone's ticket is paid for relationship with a holy God through what Christ has done. And God says I invite you to be my son, my daughter, but I won't force you if you want to stiff Army if you will be the captain of your own ship if you want to say you not want the Creator God or anybody else tell me what to do.

God says to you in the words of CS Lewis will die will be done. God doesn't force how can there be love. If he just dictated. You must love me, but what he says is, I've provided a way that whosoever would come in humble yourself turn from your sin, and with empty hands of faith, say we you forgive me for all that I've done and would you come into my life make me your son making your daughter. I want to follow you 100% of the time he promises to answer that prayer and forgive you.

Not if not, because, but because of what Christ is done every-ism. Every religion can be two letters do do do you name the religion you need to do due to different religions do do do-ism do do do do do do pray, do do do do do do do do do do do Christianity and even a religion. It's for letters done, DO and E God has done for you, but I can't.

You can't do for yourself, your sins are forgiven and the moment you turn to Christ, you are sees him.

His spirit comes to live inside of you, and it's a relationship, and his spirit will then take his word in the context of this community and he will create the very love and life of Christ in his presence within you. That's what it means to be a follower or a Christ one in its grace.

Grace produces gratitude towards God and love toward others just got some gooey GUI feeling when you have that inside of you. I will tell you what, you'll start acting the way Jesus acted toward people to be thankful you love them. The Old Testament roots are Genesis chapter 3 when the first sin occurred a free gift.

Blood was shed prefiguring Jesus skins covered our first parents. The word is the tone for in the New Testament it's Ephesians 28 and nine for by grace you are saved through faith that is not of yourself.

It's not a result of your works or performance.

It's the gift of God, listening and should boast powerful, amazing help your children realize that failure is never final with God, can I say that again. Help your child realize failure is never final with God. The world was telling them when they failed their done it is final your loser. There is no hope, unity, make the traveling team you messed up at the recital. You can't dance for the flip, you can't get in college your SAT scores didn't measure up. You got yourself praying I don't have anything to do with you son of mine what you doing get logged on that Internet stuff okay you wanted to marry the non-Christian. You go ahead, Marion, and now you let life's messed up to happier see leaves you will.

Good luck. That's what the world tells him you screwed up you live with it. God says you mess up, and you find yourself in a 10 foot hole is an 11 foot rope coming down.

If you repent and say I need help.

We you forgive me and there's a little loop at the bottom of the rope and you put your little foot in the loop and you hang on. He'll pull you up if you have 100 foot hole because you think all man 10 foot that he and I got to abortions to marriages have quite killed someone, but I tried. When I got 100 foot. There's no hope for me on another note, we understand here's grace 101 foot rope goes down. It has a loop on it. You stick your foot in any bridge up his or consequences, of course, is her stuff to do with yes maybe restitution but he'll heal you to change you. And you say 100 feet. That's not in close. You have no idea I can believe why I'm even here. I blaspheme God. I've said things about Christians on so far away from God. There is actually no I wasn't all a rope is going to be lowered. That will be 1000 and you kids need to know that I knew how they learn, they learn it by getting grace from you.

They learn that not just with your word saying the right things, you know, so it's okay son in the body languages by lands you could hit a ball sticking on a stool. Oh yeah that's okay honey I mean for a loser nonacademic like you, we sent a lot of messages that are nonverbal but said our kids. You don't measure up. And then they perform pretty well with my lands in the Mattel of our friends and hear their stories and hears this and here's adheres that you think it says call on love when I do good, but I'm not love when I don't measure up. That's called non-grace.

You want your kids to understand their behavior is one thing their value was something else and nothing changes the value nothing changes the value you love them no matter what and not just with your words with your action how to do that be a safe place for your kids where they can come for help.

Let them know that verbalizing early on in Malik, the best you can. When you don't own it. Make it right.

My son was a senior in high school coming sometimes you know you hear me saying these things and you know by by God's amazing grace. I have four grown kids that despite ups and downs rebellion here and problems there.

They all walk with God and you know it's the you talk about wealth greatest wealth I have on the earth. Not even close. But you hear someone talking sorted this a go.

Yeah, your pastor probably is pretty easy.

You never really messed up senior in high school third son. He some pops up on the Internet.

He is a year-long private secret addiction to pornography.

I find out about pastor and church lessons hooked on pornography he's leading worship on Sunday morning. The high school group is led for the volleyball players to Christ as Bible study. My house every Wednesday night took on pornography and he denied it for about 12 seconds and then he fell into tears and repentance got dad I'm so sorry.

So glad you finally found out I've been a prisoner we were preparing IQs. He's a pastor now and he was helping a group of young people deal with this issue in. I heard him say something that you know is a dad. I'm most of us were probably little hard on ourselves and I'm pretty hard on me but now and then you hear a little window of think I did something right.

Okay. And I heard him share with the group. He said you know what the reason I was able to break the pattern. When I got confronted with. Since the time I was a little boy I remember my dad saying no matter what you do, it can't change my love for you and he said I I messed up as a little boy lots of times and there were consequences but I knew might have love me and when that big thing happened. I knew it was safe and we went through it together.

Do your kids know that.

Are you a safe place to come to when they really fail when there is an addiction when when they went through rehab and they've relapsed when they run off and on, something that just breaks your heart doesn't mean there's not boundaries and consequences. No, but it means that they they know you love them and nothing can change that. One of the ways they learned.

That is, they need to see you repent right.

How do people learn to get for forgiveness from God. They need to see you get forgiveness, God and I member when asked the same son was very, very small, were visiting my parents and my dad great great guy but I mean a Marine Marine you know and and so might my son did something and it was really trite and I blew up and yelled like that and I started to walk away and never had a parent is realizing of the person who needs help, not like it in the spirit convicted me of this minutes about the worst dad and so I went over and you know he's like four years old or something like I said I'm I is what I'm sorry son and I that was was wrong.

Okay, I just have the excuse we you forgive me, little son put the Internet. He runs off right.

My my my dad. Doing so will mean you're the parent you are*kids for forgiveness word you learn that stuff in a civil then use.

I want my kids to understand that when they mess up when your heart is broken over you come to your heavenly father you get forgiven and I figured I'll never know how to do that unless they see me do it and appreciate him to live this is for young Christian, then I can ask you some. Can you impart grace because you received it in his or something. Something in your life that you just dislike while planets hope nobody finds out that he does need to come to God this morning and say you know I can't be a gracious parent because so much of my value is how my kids do this or that. I just need to forgiveness that I could give it and I just wouldn't be at all surprised if there's not least of handful or more people who fact is you kinda came for whatever reason, and you realize I've never received grace for the first time I'm not a follower of Jesus.

This is kinda new to me. If there's a place to be forgiven and have new life and eternal life. I really wanted but I'm not sure how that I would tell you that the offer is if you will believe if you will turn from your sin and raise the empty hands of faith, the God who made all that there is will forgive you and cleanse you his spirit will come inside your life and he'll give you a new beginning and by the way, it won't all be roses and you probably won't get a Mercedes or Cadillac in the mail tomorrow. Everything's not connect but you'll never be alone. You will be certainly on your way to heaven, and the very power of the living God will live inside of you in the person of Jesus and he will make and I cannot think of anything your kids need more than a mom or dad. It's a lot like Jesus caused anything else on our time together and that is to ask you a very personal question and that is do you know for sure that you have a relationship with Jesus Christ.

I just clearly explained what it means to receive him as your Savior, to turn from your sin and except that his work on the cross is paid for your sin invite them into your life and begin to follow him as Scripture is very clear. It's by grace that were saved through faith.

It's not of ourselves. It's not a result of our works, but it is a gift of God, and I want you to know that the greatest gift you ever give to yourself and even more to your children is a mom or dad that not only receives Christ as Savior, but follows him with all your heart, you know life is really hard. It's hard for you. It's hard for me.

It's hard for all of us, but when there is the super natural power of the living God inside of you.

He can give you patient's he can give you endurance. He can help you, whether through a difficult time in your marriage. He can help you be the mom or dad that you long to become so let me invite you right now just to pray a very simple prayer, Lord Jesus, I admit that I need you. I admit that I have send I fall short of being perfect and today I ask you to forgive me for all my sins. I ask you to come into my life and save me and live inside of me and be my Savior, and be my Lord, thank you very much that you promised.

If I would ask you would respond. Thank you for forgiving me.

Thank you for coming into my life now. Help me to walk with you.

In Jesus name, amen. Let me just tell you right now that the greatest thing you can do is call or text or tell the greatest Christian, you know, I'm not sure about all of this but I just prayed and asked Christ to come into my life and I know we need help in the second things to find an easy to read Bible that you can start on the book of John and just say God I want to get to know you and then this weekend find Bible teaching church and just walk through the doors and will be little scary for some of you, but God's got a brand-new home for you somewhere. Find a great church get plugged in. We get that finding a church right now isn't as easy as it used to be, but they're out there find one that's meeting and then make a commitment to get connected. Let me just say if you prayed with Chip.

I hope you'll take a minute and call us at triple late. 333-6003. We love to talk with you and get a free resource in your hands that will help you understand what you just did.

Where to go from here if you'd rather go to the new believers tab on our website LivingontheEdge.org or tap special offers on the app we'll find that same resource. We just want to help you get started on your new journey of faith. Thanks, Dave. As we wrap up today's program. I just to remind you that so often we get hung up in our kids success or parenting techniques and part of why I've taught this entire series. The way I have is I think it's timeless principles that you can apply it every age you know what you need to teach at every age, how to make wise decisions you need to teach at every age to live.

Grace filled lives in pink kids fail it to a 12 minute, 22, and so what I want to say is do this small group, or if you're not in a position to do the small group order the book takes some time to grow as a parent and as you do. It's the best investment that you ever make whether your new. Or adjusting to your kids increasing independence. This series is designed to help you do the job in a way that honors God and blesses you and your kids in the process. To receive free online streaming just order the study guide DVDs are available to to preview the teaching and see the study guide go to LivingontheEdge.org and whether you go, the video route or get the book.

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333-6003 that's triple late. 333-6003 will be sure to join us again next time. When Chip continues his series effective parenting in a defective world. Until then, this is very, thanks for listening to this edition of living all the